"That could've gone better... maybe next time, I'll do all the talking, Hephaestus."
"I initiated with a genuine compliment. It is meant to be an effective 'conversation starter' with a stranger."
"Compliment?! You said his hair made him look like a bird!"
"Cardinalis cardinalis are elegant, beautiful creatures. He should have felt proud of such a comparison; clearly your assessment of these Ares cultists and their intelligence is not inaccurate. I will take that into consideration and be more direct in my language next time."
"Haaahh... I don't think directness is the issue here..."
Even after HEPHAESTUS' blunder of a first impression (although himself didn't recognise that fact), they were swiftly granted access after Marius played damage control and took their attention away from the disguised elf. Regardless of how the strange man came across, the guards couldn't exactly deny entry to their Vice-Captain, his squad and new guest over a petty grievance.
That didn't mean he wasn't under scrutiny afterwards, however. Again, it was only thanks to the vouching of the crown prince and witness accounts from Theophila, Theophilus and grudgingly Pyrrhus that when going through customs to officiate his entering of Valua, he was able to minimise the amount of questioning of his intentions and not allow inspection of his body to occur for contraband or smuggled goods. Doing so would be the same as mistrust of their prince after all, and the in charge Ares familia members were nothing if not loyal to their chain of command.
They were sceptical of his name mainly, being that the Goddess of Smithing, Hephaestus, was worshipped by craftsmen across the known world, mainly centred in a city-state called 'Orario'. Apparently, they explained that whilst it's not too uncommon for some names of Gods to be used by mortals, those that do are usually arrogant blowhards who feel as though they are on the same level as the Gods, or mentally insane people who think that they are Gods. No parent would actually name their kid after a Deity for these reasons, so generally it's just morons or psychos who 'steal' them for some sick sense of vainglory.
HEPHAESTUS was luckily able to convince them that yes, it is the name he was 'born' with, and no, he does not wish to change it in the official documentation for a pseudonym. To him, his name is more than just that, but also a title that signifies his purpose for project Zero Dawn and preserving intelligent life; the ability to forge a machine for any purpose necessary. He would not change it simply to satisfy any Hephaestus cultists that may find it insulting.
Although, for some reason his companions got a little teary eyed at that - "The last thing he can remember his parents by..." - but the amethyst-eyed man attributed it to the large build up of dust and grime in the checkpoint building. He would've mentioned the need for a more frequent cleaning schedule, but Marius had strictly told him to only speak when responding to questioning. Unfortunate.
So after barely ten minutes of going through border control processes, sped up vastly by Marius' influence, HEPHAESTUS was able to secure the temporary documentation that would allow him to remain in the city for a month before they became invalid. Until he was able to secure work, legal property or join the military, the elf would only be considered a 'documented immigrant' until he could obtain proper citizenship credentials.
This would be fine enough for the A.I.; he did not intend to rest on his laurels after all. The blacksmithing district in the military quarter of the Valua would be his next immediate objective, and once he proves his mastery over the forge to be true, kickstarting his directives would be finally viable.
However, Marius, wanting to ensure his new friend had a good foothold to begin settling in, had a better idea.
"Regardless, we made it through without issue..." The blonde rubbed his forehead to ease his earlier exasperation, "Now, it's getting pretty late, so... Theophila, Theophilus?"
The two mentioned knights, highly amused at the earlier commotion and in a good mood that it all turned out fairly well in their favour, saluted in unison.
"You got it, Sir; Ariti Escort Service at the ready!"
"We'll get him situated at the best inn we can find, Your Highness!"
Marius nodded at their enthusiasm.
"See that you do. Hephaestus, we'll see you at some point tomorrow, okay? I'll hopefully be back with your documents for permanent residency as well. My God can be... eh, a bit-"
"Insane?"
"Unusual," He gracefully ignored Theophilus' remark, "But he should allow me some leeway here. I don't often ask for much, so it should be fine."
The prince thought that it would help make his new friend's adjustment period more stress-free by simply allowing him to skip all the required steps for true citizenship and ensure a stable settling in. There was no guarantee he'd be able to immediately find work, and he'd rather not the disguised elf be forced to join the military and risk being discovered for his... heritage. That would definitely not end well. Certainly not for him since he'd let an elf, unknowingly or not, into the capital!
Was it nepotism? Yes. Did Marius care? Not this time. Given that HEPHAESTUS' circumstances are due to gross errors in the governance of their borders, allowing slave trading to prosper unhampered, he felt no guilt for righting a clear wrong.
The A.I. was satisfied with this arrangement, although he was beginning to get suspicious. These knights are cultists of the Greek God of War and Goddess of Love, although given that Ares is seen as the kingdom's overarching Deity, they could technically be referred to as the state religion. Regardless, their consistent reference to these mythological entities as though they were actual people they could just converse with was concerning. The level of zealotry required to wholeheartedly believe such a thing was...
...Well, regardless, they had clearly proven themselves to be good people at heart. Even if the Ariti twins were slightly deranged and the now quiet Pyrrhus initially came off as a savage, racist extremist, HEPHAESTUS was confident they had fair intentions.
He would still keep a watch for any animal or human sacrificial altars, however. Primitive human cults favoured those especially.
"Affirmative."
"Good. And remember what I said?"
"To not engage in exerting the Will-based Transmogrification Force within the peripherals of human vision in public space."
"...Yes, that. Let's go Pyrrhus!"
As soon as the prince received confirmation of the A.I.'s agreement, he began speed-walking up the northern path towards the castle at the centre of the vast city. Regardless of how much he liked HEPHAESTUS, there was only so much energy one could spend listening to him talk.
Pyrrhus, having a much lower tolerance for the elf's quirks, made to quickly catch up, not even sparing a glance back at the remaining three or trying to hide his sigh of relief.
And so, two humans and an elf remained outside the gatehouse, the latter patiently waiting for his two new supervisors to take him where they needed to go.
Theophilus wasted no time, slinging an arm around the amethyst-eyed man's shoulder casually.
"So! Now you're left with us, Hephie... with the two sticks gone, we're sure to have a blast!"
Theophila, assigning herself the role of HEPHAESTUS' personal space monitor, quickly made to toss her brother behind her by his intruding arm, not paying mind to his brief shriek of surprise.
"EEYAK!"
Or him indenting his body into the stone pathway. A bit too much strength there...
"Alright! Let's find you that inn, Hephaestus! Just follow me, then I'll get you all set up for a room."
The A.I. looked between the female knight's innocently smiling face and her twitching, strewn-out sibling a few times, unsure what the appropriate response is to this scenario. He made brief eye contact with a few patrolling guardsmen, who seemed to treat the interaction with an exhausted indifference. It appeared the two possessed some slight notoriety.
"...Does he require assistance?"
"He'll catch up! C'mon, let's go!"
"Hmm. In that case..."
He firmly grasped her right hand in his left.
"Huh? Eh?"
"Begin guiding us to our destination."
"Wh-whuh? Erm... okay..."
He had not been lax in his attention towards how to display appropriate human social behaviours. The disguised elf had heard many mentions from Theophilus teasing his sister for 'hand-holding', her apparently finding it a favourable form of physical intimacy, especially with those who possess Stahl's Ear. Whilst confused over the twins' predilection towards people with such mutations, the A.I. did not mind fulfilling such strange customs for sake of his companion's morale.
Additionally, it would ensure he did not get lost traversing unfamiliar terrain, the city being quite vast and even though the sun was almost fully set, there was still a notable population out and about.
However, that was nowhere near the delusional line of thought Theophila was on right now.
'YEEEEESSSSS! IT'S JUST LIKE LADY APHRODITE SAID; MY RELATIONSHIP POINTS MUST BE INCREASING! WOOHOOOOO!'
Yeah, quite delusional...
So the flustered knight and amethyst-eyed 'human' walked along the cobblestone road, leaving behind their crumpled companion for their impromptu 'date'.
Initially, Theophila was quite nervous about showing HEPHAESTUS around her home kingdom, something that HEPHAESTUS noticed from her sweaty palm. He attempted to reassure her by tightening the grip, having seen Aloy do something similar with Zo when conversation came up about her late husband. He assumed it was a method of increasing comfort to the external party.
Judging by the slight yelp and heightened breathing, it had the opposite effect, much to his confusion. The social conventions are more divergent from expected ones than he realised.
Luckily for the woman's heart, the A.I.'s boundless curiosity about the surrounding structures and architectural designs was enough to eventually distract her from the intimate position they were in, to the point that it became a rather casual stroll through the city streets.
"Define that construction."
"Hmm? Ah, that's a café! Sorry, forgot you can't read..."
"Correct. The written scripture is unknown to me."
"R-right, well it's called the 'Red Lotus', I sometimes go there with my familia members when on break. They do a meaaaaan cheesecake! You wanna check it out? Tomorrow maybe?"
"Such desserts offer no nutritional value and are purely empty calories consumed for the purpose of releasing dopamine. I do not require such distractions."
"Oh come on! I promise you'll enjoy it. Please?"
"...I am curious about how such neurotransmitter release would feel personally. Very well, but only once."
"Yahoo!"
Overall, HEPHAESTUS was still confused and admittedly somewhat worried for Theophila's demeanour towards him. Sure, They had met under rather tense circumstances where he had rescued her from potential death via blood loss a few days ago, but the short-term gratitude should have worn off by now, where her heightened emotions due to adrenaline and oxytocin release made her misinterpret them as feelings of admiration. Yet, she still continues to showcase such clingy and protective behaviour; it can't purely be due to an unhealthy attraction towards Stahl's Ear possessors, can it? He was uncertain about this, as well as unused to having a human admirer of such a scale.
Eventually, the A.I. would need to inform her of the false nature of her feelings; it would not do her well mentally to feel this way about him in particular. A more 'natural born' human would make for a better focus of infatuation.
Pushing that aside, HEPHAESTUS was quite surprised to see such modern-looking services present throughout Valua, seeming rather out of place from his point of view.
Sure, they had the expected facilities: market stalls that were in the process of packing up their goods for the night; cookshops where the vendors were throwing away any excess meat they had failed to sell into grimy, cloth sacks (which was already step up from the expected throwing it into the streets); they even passed by a rudimentary hospice that, according the Theophila, charged the local peasantry ludicrous prices for even something as simple as sewing together a stitch for a cut arm.
He bristled internally at that. Of course, whether they be primitive or modern humans, basic healthcare - a human right - was rife with excessive greed. Revolting.
Regardless, all of these you could find in a typical medieval society. However, there were some things that didn't particularly make sense.
For instance, the café from earlier. Somehow, the commoners had access to complex confectionaries that would normally only be accessible to those of higher social classes, implying that sugar is not as much an expensive and rare ingredient as it should be for medieval-era humans.
Additionally, their public latrines also were highly advanced for the times. According to his female guide, the filtration systems cycled human waste through some 'magical item mumbo jumbo', showcasing how uninterested she was overall in the engineering details, but it did prove one thing: the local humans were capable of utilising the Will-based Transmogrification Force on at least a rudimentary level, which could explain why despite the overall architecture being fairly primitive, they had access to certain utilities that usually required certain technological and scientific advancements.
When he questioned the female knight beside him on this, she responded with what he could only describe to be religious fanaticism.
"You'll have to thank the Gods for that! When they descended here to the Lower World, they brought a lot of their innovations and ideas from Heaven for us to enjoy! Though, I'm pretty sure it was mainly so that they'd be more comfortable down here, less so about us..."
She said half-jokingly at the last bit of her sentence, as if talking about Deities falling to Earth was on the same plane as mentioning the weather.
HEPHAESTUS didn't know where to start.
"Elaborate."
"Huh?"
"You said that Higher Beings themselves brought unknown knowledge from Heaven that allowed for revolutions in your quality of life. Elaborate."
"W-well... there's nothing more to it! The Gods came down about a thousand years ago, and the rest is history! Surely you... you at least know that much, right?"
The brunette grew awfully concerned at the inference she received from HEPHAESTUS' question. It was as if his lack of such fundamental knowledge was depressing to her.
The A.I., feeling that he had made an error in his questioning, attempted diversion.
"That sign there. Define the scripture."
"Urm... alright! It says..."
'Good. She took the bait.'
Well, more accurately, she felt immensely bad for his 'ex-slave owner' not electing to teach him basic world history, but let's not mention that...
To return back to his concerns, HEPHAESTUS came to a startling conclusion.
These people sincerely believe in their Deities to the point they hold them responsible for gross advancements in civilisation, likely once again rooted with seeing the WTF as some sort of divine blessing gifted to them by unseen Higher Beings.
The time frame given - that these 'Gods' descended to Earth one-thousand years ago - is most probably just when the WTF was first discovered by local humans, misinterpreting a natural ability they'd evolved to make use of as a 'God-gifted power'. Although why it came into common knowledge specifically a millennium ago is unknown without further data, it was the only possible conclusion available to HEPHAESTUS.
After all... Gods? Being real? Illogical.
Besides, if beings who were as powerful as hypothetical Deities had truly descended to this planet that many years ago, the A.I. knew from experience that such entities would have had no problem wiping the Earth clean of human life; such creatures have no inherent code of ethics or desire to uphold basic morality. He would not currently be standing in a highly populated capital city, but rather a lifeless, barren plane of infertile land.
The Zeniths...
NEMESIS...
...Himself...
They were all the same, in the end.
Shaking his head to remove such dark thoughts, HEPHAESTUS distracted himself by renewing his focus on a new short-term directive.
He could not read the language.
He had already become aware of this when being processed through customs and receiving his temporary documentation, requiring Marius to write his name down for him when signing was required, as well as reading out the important details. Whilst the Ares guards seemed puzzled that he did not know how to read, given his current fancy attire and supposed blacksmithing trade, the four knights were accepting, if a bit solemn at the reveal. Strange, but it made things run smoothly.
However, he would definitely need to learn to read and write the scripture to secure successful business ventures for obtaining the resources necessary for robotics construction. The closest comparison he could give was it contained a mix of the Latin, Cyrillic and Greek alphabets, although even that was a stretch. It made sense, given that already the fact that the English spoken language being closely used was incredibly suspicious; a whole new writing system is completely normal compared to that incredible convenience.
If nothing else, it would make for an interesting challenge. He could learn a written language from scratch, rather than using the twenty-five ones ready to go from his core memory.
"We're here!"
Dragged out from his thoughts, HEPHAESTUS looked up and saw the road-side inn facing towards him, the pink-patterned brickwork interlaced with mahogany wooden beams making the establishment stand out almost garishly, the vibe given off making it appear quite... risqué to say the least.
And whilst the disguised elf could not read the sign hanging above the entrance, the detailed hearts on either side of the text only added to the femininity of the bar before him.
Of course, having no awareness of what these particular details could mean, HEPHAESTUS was simply curious as to the name of the pub, and so looked meaningfully at his companion whilst pointing towards the sign.
Theophila was momentarily puzzled by the quiet gaze, before a sudden realisation struck through her like a lightning bolt.
She immediately jumped away in shock, finally releasing her unconscious grip on the A.I.'s hand.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT! I promise, it's not what you think! O-o-one of my fellow familia members runs this place, so the aesthetic is JUST THAT! Themed around Lady Aprhrodite! Honest!"
The A.I. blinked in confusion at the sudden outburst, before realising he should have clarified his query. He must have grown too comfortable with her quick assistance in reading out information for him. He will make sure to be more explanatory.
"The sign. What does it say?"
The female knight paused in her excessive placating gestures, slowly relaxing with a sigh of relief at realising she overreacted. Of course this oblivious, innocent elven man wouldn't understand what a love hotel may look like. Given that he showed no embarrassment or shame at the notion of sleeping naked with her...
She blushed before swiftly shaking her head and answering the amethyst-eyed man's question.
"Phew... it's called 'The Pink Heart', ran by one of my seniors in the familia, so it's usually a good hotspot for gatherings and celebrations; the Goddess even visits sometimes as well! Civilians usually stay away, but it still gets some regulars who can look past the, uh, suggestive imagery."
HEPHAESTUS nodded at that, electing to ignore the statement that her Deity visited the tavern on occasion; it was likely more zealous fantasies related to the WTF being more 'present' during specific times of year, days of certain months, or some other cultish nonsense.
"I see. Shall we enter?"
He gestured towards the fancy double doors in front of them, causing Theophila to smile at his apparent acceptance of her explanation, before going to grab his hand again.
"Yep! I'll get Philoumene to get us private table in the back; she should be-"
"YOU BITCH!"
Before she can gain a firm grasp of the elf's palm, a heavy thwack echoes from the metal-coated fist folding into Theophila's cheek, sending her soaring face-first into the asphalt beneath them.
HEPHAESTUS, having noticed the anger-stricken figure of Theophilus striding up to them, pebbles still caught in his locks of brown hair, did not react when this happened. It was predictable given what he knew from their personalities.
So he watched on with hidden curiosity at the ensuing dispute, steam still rising from the male knight's clenched hand.
"You actually left me! Just left me in the pavement! Honestly, WHAT THE FUCK SIS?! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FIND YOU?!"
"AGGGHHH, MY FACE! MY FAAACE!"
"WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FACE?! WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?! I WANTED TO SHOW HEPHIE AROUND, BUT YOUR HORNY MONKEY BRAIN TOOK OVER AGAIN!"
"HUHHHH?! DON'T GIMME THAT SHIT YOU LIMP DICKED, LUST-RIDDEN APE! IF YOU WERE AROUND A BIG-TITTIED ELVEN BITCH, YOU'D BE THE EXACT SAME!"
"THAT'S FUCKIN' IT!"
"ACKK-!"
The following wrestling that took place was less than dignified, the hair-pulling and arm-biting as they scuffled on the ground showcasing none of the nobility or majesty expected of knights of a kingdom.
Although, when HEPHAESTUS looked around to see if anyone was willing to break this up, as soon as passing by civilians and soldiers recognised the fighting twins, they summarily ignored them or sighed in disbelief before carrying on as though it was normal.
He internally rolled his eyes.
'Imbecilic behaviour.'
After half a minute of watching this go on with no sign of stopping, the disguised elf elected to simply enter the pub on his own. The two siblings could catch up once they'd either sorted out their feelings or killed the other. He was betting on the latter case, honestly.
Opening one of the double doors, HEPHAESTUS lay witness to an expansive interior, although the decoration appeared far too splendiferous for something in the lower commoner district.
Fancily etched mahogany columns stood mightily at between long tables, bearing carvings of indented love hearts that appeared carefully crafted by a master. The tables themselves bared the same thematic qualities, almost sensual in their curved appearance, the benches having quality silken cushioning applied to them, further enforcing the notion of this place being incredibly well funded.
There appeared to be private round tables by the walls, with some covered by wooden booth dividers with ornate miniature statues of a naked woman, genitalia covered conveniently by flowing robes. It made for a luxurious image, once again at odds with the lower class surroundings of the building.
Additionally, overall the pub appeared fairly packed, humans donning knight armour and other casual wear seated along most of the long tables, plates of half-eaten food and partially empty drink glasses scattered across the surfaces. They all appearing to possess an emblem on their chests he noticed that the Ariti twins also have: a flying white dove with a pink rose in it's beak. Likely symbolising their loyalty to the Ancient Greek Goddess of Love, Aphrodite. There were a few regular folk as well, but they mostly kept themselves to the private booths, clearly not wanting to mesh too much with the cultists. It seemed not all the citizens of this country were delusional zealots, which was fortunate in HEPHAESTUS' opinion.
Women in maid uniforms with pink hearts decorated on them - why is French culture present in this society? - patrolled back and forth between tables, carrying tableware and drinks to and from patrons, the casual atmosphere indicating frequent visitation, with some displaying open acts of flirtation to customers. The regular citizens were clearly much less resistant to such advances than the well-trained Goddess of Love cultists.
The bar at the very back of the inn was clearly the main attraction, a diverse selection of ciders, beer, wine and even gins on display behind the counter on showy shelving units, a set of double doors likely leading to a kitchen unit. An eye-catching, mature black-haired woman with green eyes was stood at the bar wiping a beer mug down, wearing a splendiferous black dress with sleeves, pink hearts scattered along the velvet clothes in a mesmerising pattern. The same pin with the Aphrodite symbol was nestled in the middle of her large chest.
Soon after entering, the amethyst-eyed man was noticed by one of the attending staff members, quickly striding up to greet him as a new customer. She seemed fairly pretty, such likely being the standard for working at an Aphrodite-sponsored tavern, with singly-braided yellow hair over her right shoulder, red eyes looking at him with an emotion HEPHAESTUS was unfamiliar with.
"Welcome sir~! What exactly is a handsome man like yourself looking for here~? Dinner? or... a bed~?"
She exclaimed with a heavily coquettish air, bending over a little to bring attention to her cleavage.
However, HEPHAESTUS was already distracted by something eminently more interesting.
'Her eyes. They are red. True red. Impossible.'
The A.I. was already aware that his neon purple eyes were an impossibility. Being that eye colour is determined by a combination of the concentration of melanin in the iris, the variation in light scattering and inherent genetics, he thought his body being unnaturally produced simply made him anomalous when it came to these physical properties. Though, seeing a natural born human with such clear red irises, in addition to Stahl's Ear possessors being common enough to be seen as their own race, it made him wonder...
Was the WTF subtly responsible for all these weird and genetic impossibilities? Another fascinating side project to engage research in, should he have time.
"Erm... e-excuse me, sir?"
"Hmm?"
HEPHAESTUS stopped his train of thought when he heard the waitress mumble, realising he had unconsciously drawn his face too close to be socially acceptable towards the woman's face, in an effort to analyse her eyes in higher detail.
The girl stammered with a slight blush before continuing.
"Y-you've been staring at me f-for a while... is something wrong?"
The A.I. felt like hitting himself for once again breaching social conduct. He would have to make sure to remember this: do not invade the personal space of other humans without prior consent.
He bowed lightly before expressing his regret.
"My apologies. Your eye colour is significantly fascinating to me; I have not seen anything like it."
The woman stumbled back a bit at the direct confession, her face flushing heavily.
"It-it's fine! Erm... thanks, your eyes are... they're beautiful as well..."
She returned back shyly. Typically, whilst the women who work at this bar are used to such advances, what with the most frequent customers being Aphrodite familia members, it's all usually compliments of a sexual nature, nurtured further by the strength of will induced by alcohol.
However, a straightforward admission of admiration of someone's eyes, combined with the distinctive seriousness of HEPHAESTUS' attractive countenance, well... he didn't exactly realise the power he had over people with his bluntness.
Evident in the fact that thinking the situation was rectified, the A.I. nodded and went to answer her earlier question.
"I would like to reserve a booth, sized for three individuals."
She began to pout momentarily at the lack of emotional response to her compliment, before looking puzzled at the request.
"Three? Um, sure, but where are-"
"OUCH! OI, DON'T HIT A WOMAN THERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD!"
"YOU CAN BARELY BE CONSIDERED HUMAN, LET ALONE A WOMAN, YOU GORILLA!"
"GRRRAAAAAGGGGHHH!"
"AIEEEEEEEE! YOU'RE GONNA TEAR MY PINKIE OFF!"
The commotion outside was beginning to escalate it seems. HEPHAESTUS' predictions on it ending when one died seemed closer by the second.
The people inside the bar were even starting to hear it, conversation ceasing in favour of observing what they could through the rose-patterned stained glass by the entrance.
"Those two again?"
"Haaah... and things were sooo peaceful whilst they were gone on that ogre hunt..."
"Hahaha! Those elf-loving weirdos are back!"
"Lady Aphrodite, give me strength..."
Even in their own cult, they were regarded with infamy. How embarrassing...
The blonde waitress turned to look at him, a sort of weariness drawn over her face that overruled any sort of sensual behaviour from earlier.
"Err... those two... wouldn't happen to be with you, would they?"
"Correct. They have been guiding me here for a temporary place of residence."
The woman sighed at the divulgence, seemingly realising that she owed the man her sympathies, judging by the morose gaze cast upon him.
She then turned and shouted out towards the bartender, who also seemed resigned in her body language.
"Miss Theodora! The Aritis are back!"
The black-haired woman sighed before walking out from behind the counter, rolling up her sleeves with a twitching brow.
"I'll handle it; just go back to tending to your current customer."
"Yes Miss!"
With that said, the matron of the pub slammed open the double doored entrance, storming outside with a snarl on her lips.
"ALRIGHT YOU BRATS! GET OVER HERE RIGHT-"
Then the doors shut, and an extra contender joined the battle outside.
"This way, sir!"
With that said and done, the youthful maid grabbed HEPHAESTUS' hand and began guiding him to a table with a smile, acting as if nothing strange occurred.
HEPHAESTUS was happy to reciprocate, the sounds of hysterical screaming and breaking bones getting quieter as he walked further into the tavern.