Blinded

Chapter 10

Marty struggled against the restraints, his head throbbing. Gayle was unconscious and he both prayed she awaken to see she was not alone but likewise was grateful for what was likely rare moments of disconnection for their reality.

He had been taken aback by his capture, not having expected this bold of a move from his abductor after the days of playing games – the note, leaving a body that wasn't Gayle's, pushing for him to sacrifice himself only to be held back by his own protection.

Marty hoped that the overt nature of his capture would help Jack and his team find them before it was too late. There was no hint of compassion in his captors' eyes. His face shone cruelty and anger, beyond what he could have ever predicted would be simmering below the surface. Many things clicked now. His unfazed report when one had died in front of him years ago, his cocky attitude despite the tragic events that had ensued.

This man had no empathy. He was out for revenge. Revenge against him for his part to play. And he knew others were in danger too. He had already killed, at least twice. How many more victims.

Instead, Marty lifted his chin. He was going to remain dignified, even if it was his end. He only broke to see his beloved across the room from him, hoping against hope in some way she would be spared.

-STFBE-

Sue was immediately moved to another hotel as the FBI dealt with the fallout of their failed protection. Within hours the media had swarmed, and it had gotten out that a prominent former ADA had been captured in a violent attack – one whom had been under police protection.

Jack was grateful no one had made the connection that Sue had been there and under protection as well. He assumed that either whomever was behind this did not realize she had been only footsteps away or had done this intentionally, working with the confidence that they would get to her in time. Whoever it was, was winning and Jack was feeling more and more hopeless.

By the end of day Saturday they were all so tired and Jack knew he wasn't coping nor able to effectively lead. D had mandated that he take Sunday off as he had recruited a second team to help support so the others could also only do a half day. Sue wasn't fairing any better than he. She had become withdrawn, jumpy and unfocused.

Jack wanted to fight D with everything within him to stay on the case until Marty was found, and more so until he knew Sue was safe. He had stormed into D's office after D had messaged him about taking the next day off.

"You can't do this!" He was near yelling. D just sat there calmly, which made Jack feel more irate. "I have to find him. I have to figure this out." Jack continued, feeling more and more breathless.

"Jack…" D started in, but Jack interrupted him.

"No D – you don't understand." His voice raised. "This has to end. I can't… I can't even sleep right now! How am I supposed to take a day off when we have no leads? How am I supposed to just sit at home when Marty… when she…" he stopped himself short, knowing he had revealed too much. However, D didn't look surprised.

"Jack…" He said again. Jack looked at his friend. He felt such a weight he had to just sit. D allowed a few minutes of silence before starting.

"You are no help to anyone in your current state of mind. To Marty, to his wife. Jack, you are no help to Sue when you are in this condition. If you were in my shoes, what would you tell me?" Jack sighed. D leaned back.

"I remember when Sue was taken by Dan Malone." Jack quickly looked up to D. "Jack, you looked so distraught. I could see you were blaming yourself. Blaming yourself for putting her in that car. You couldn't even see the fact she had risked herself and ran to you in the midst of a gun fight because she was so scared you were hurt." Jack replayed the scene in his mind. He had never taken the time to dwell on what had happened, on her reaction, on his own pain despite the vest taking the bullet - just had comforted himself every time the memory had come to him that she had been safe in the end. D continued.

"Even though I knew you were scared, I knew she meant more to you than just a colleague, you kept it together. Barely, I know. We all saw that you were the only one not sleeping. Staring at the board, jumping at any lead. Shoving your gun in Dan Malone's face when we found them." Jack sighed.

"I had never felt like that before, D. Sure she had been in danger previously, but that was the first time it hit me she could be dead…" D looked at him intently.

"Jack, you're not holding yourself together this time." Jack looked at him with sad eyes.

"No, no I'm not." He finally admitted.

"Jack – it's okay. Its understandable. But I know you would never forgive yourself if something happens to her because you're not at your best, or even in a functioning state. Nor would she ever forgive me if something happened to you because of this. Take tomorrow. I'm not taking you off the case but get some rest. See you how feel on Monday. We won't stop the momentum. This abductor will mess up at some point and we will find them. This isn't all on your shoulders. Let your team support you and help you gain perspective that this isn't hopeless." Jack nodded in agreement and moved to stand.

"Jack – I'm also giving Sue the day off too, and have been, and will continue to minimize how much work she is given. My priority is keeping her here so we can keep her safe than for her to be working. I know how hard this may be on her…" Jack sat back down.

"D, she's clearly terrified. And I can't blame her. What do I do? How do I help?" D looked at Jack intently.

"Jack, I'm going to be honest with you. You two have waffled around this for a long time. As the one married man amongst our team, I see more than you may realize. You two have built a connection over years many married couples would wish for. I suspect this is partly why you are not handling this as well as you had in the past."

Jack looked up. He hadn't thought about it that way. "Work won't be forever Jack – you are more than just an FBI agent. She's worth it. Don't put work ahead of what could be a lifetime of happiness. I wish I would have told you not to let something terrible happen for you to take the risk with her as we are now long passed that, but if I were you, I wouldn't let another moment go by in light of everything that is going on." Jack nodded, deep in thought. "I think you two are going to need each other before this is over. My advice to you? Be there for her. It's not about words. A healthy relationship is built upon trust and unconditional love. That's what she needs. And frankly, I think that's what you need too – and may already have. Maybe tomorrow is a start."

"At this point," Jack admitted honestly. "Keeping this job, our team, does seem less important than just being at her side." D gave him a small smile.

"Let's worry about the job part later, once things settle. So long as I don't see anything unprofessional, we can discuss this once things settle – with the both of you, should you choose." It was a rare thing at that time for Jack to feel a brightness, a hope. Something he had only gotten small glimpses of in the quiet moments he and Sue had had together since this had all happened. Jack felt his bucket fill just ever so slightly – enough to get Sue back to her hotel. Enough to take a day and get ready to fight whatever was coming their way. Enough to ensure he protected her no matter the cost so they could find happiness together.