Maudeline hesitated as she reached out to the pencil and paper on the bedside table. She wasn't really sure if she should write this letter, as Nightshade had recomended, nor was she sure about how if she should. She hadn't done this herself in a long time. Ever since she had married, Maudeline always had a servant, usually Hildegarde, transcribe what she wanted to write in her letters to others. However, she didn't want Hildegarde to hear the contents of the letter given her current situation. As a result, she made the desicion to write it herself, which she soon regretted. The problem wasn't that Maudeline wasn't literate. She was in fact one of the few ladies in the village who could read and write, and had only made the servants write letters for her because she was taught it was standard for the upper class. The problem was, in fact, that she was having trouble letting herself pick up the pencil.
Why must this be so hard? Maudeline thought to herself. But deep down, she knew why it was so hard.
Her mother wouldn't have approved.
Her mother never seemed to approve of anything she did as a kid. No matter what she did, her mother would always deem it improper. That's mainly why her at-home finishing lessons began when she was eight. "Straighten up more," mother would always tell her when practicung standing up straight, "proper ladies must have proper posture." There were alot of things proper ladies must and must not do according to her mother.
"Pinky finger out when holding a teacup."
"Sip your tea. Don't slurp like a stray dog."
"You're eatting too fast again."
"That's too much food."
"Don't get anything on the tablecloth!"
No matter how straight she kept her posture, how fine she looked, how perfect she was for her family, Maudeline's mother seemed to only see a disapointment when she looked at her. No matter how obedient she was, it was never enough to earn any form of affection.
Maudeline's mother likely never let her have any due to deeming it improper as well, based on what she remembered.
It was a cold winter evening that day. Snow was flurrying from the sky, mingling with the powder already on the cobblestone road. Maudeline, currently eighteen years old, looked out the window of the carriage door as it drew closer and closer to the intended destination. Mother hadn't told her much about this trip, aside from that they would be visiting the Everglots for an important matter.
"Pay attention, Maudeline." her mother ordered.
"Yes mother." Maudeline replied, trying to remove the bored sound from her voice.
"You better not daydream while we're visiting the Everglots."
"Yes, mother."
Maudeline never liked these visits. She'd honestly never been much of a social person, and the people her mother made her talk to were nothing more than collosal bores anyway. And even if they weren't, her mother rarely let her associate with those people. As a result, she wasn't too particulatly excited about this visit.
"Remember what I told you. There will be no improper topics, no improper comments, and no talking from you unless you are spoken to. Have I made myself clear."
"Yes, mother."
That's basically all Maudeline felt she could respond with when her mother asked something. Whether it was being asked to perform a certain task, being told to not do something, or when any new rule was implimented for her, all Maudeline felt she could answer with was "Yes, mother."
The carriage came to a gentle stop, as did Maudeline's train of thought.
"We're here, Lady Merrimack." the family coachman said as he dismounted from his seat to help the two ladies out of the carriage. The mansion the two stepped out in front of was one of the largest on the street, and the most regal. It honesly looked more like a castle with the Everglot family crest above the door. Currently the door resembled a gateway to the afterlife to Maudeline, with a matching funeral bell that tolled when her mother pulled the cord for the doorbell. The Everglot's head servant Emil greeted them shortly after.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Hydrangea Merrimack to see Jacob and Hyacinth Everglot."
"Ah, yes. I will alert them to your arrival."
Another day with the most boring people on the street, Maudeline thought to herself as she and her mother waited in the foyer.
"Lady Merrimack. A pleasure as always." Lady Everglot stated, although her face contradicted her tone slightly as she walked down the stairs with her husband and a boy Maudeline never met before. He was short, only reaching up to his father's waist, but his other features suggested he was only a few years younger than Maudeline.
"I trust you're here to discuss the details of our little arrangement for Finis and Maudeline." Lord Everglot said, gesturing to his son, "We've already arranged for tea in the west drawing room. Just this way."
"Come along, Maudeline."
Arrangement? Maudeline thought to herself as she followed, a sense of worry suddenly filling her.
The rest Maudeline remembered clearly despite her best efforts to forget. Sitting down with the Everglots and her mother, the servants pouring the tea, the fireplace crackling...
...and the talk of the dowry.
The next four years passed in a blur of misery. Waiting for Finis to come of marital age, constantly visiting the Everglots, being fitted for a wedding dress, it seemed that Maudeline's entite life went from being prepared to become a proper lady to being prepared to become a proper wife.
And then came the day of the rehersal.
Maudeline had woken up, washed herself, and was now having her corset laced up. It was all routine now.
All routine now. Something Maudeline came to despise for the past four years. Tea with Finis and his parents. Tea with her future husband and in laws. Hours spent with her future husband and in laws. Being forced to prepare for when she'd become a wife. And now, her life was practically at it's end. When she was little, she dreamed about marrying the person of her dreams. Now... now she was naively clinging to the only, thin, frayed strand of hope she had left.
"Constance, do you... do you think I will ever learn to love Finis?"
"As if love has anything to do with matrimony. I honestly thought I taught you better."
Maudeline turned to find her mother standing in the doorway.
"Do you honestly think I liked your father while he was here?"
"You must have to have had..." Maudeline softly began, trailing off as her mother gave a disapproving scowl at the mention of such a topic.
"Let this be known, Maudeline. My mariage to your father was a strategic arrangement, a little tit for tat, if you will. And you were not a product of love. You were a product of that arrangement. And you yourself now have a deal you need to keep your end of. So you better rid yourself of such a nonsencical fantasy. Is that clear?"
"Y-yes... mother." Maudeline replied, fightimg vack tears.
"Very good." her mother responded coldly, "And I do not want to hear you studder again."
"Yes, mother."
From there, things went according to her mother and in laws' plan. The rehearsal went as planned, as did the actual ceremony and reception. A week later she and Finis left for their honeymoon. And ten years later, she managed to provide an heir in the form of Victoria. Maudeline's mother and in laws weren't too happy about her not being able to produce a male heir- especially after... a certain drama- but they eventually came to terms with it. And just like her own mother, and as her own mother asked of her, Maudeline had taught little Victoria how to be a proper lady from a young age.
Be a proper lady, Maudeline thought to herself, pulling her hand back from the desk.
All her life, she was taught to be a proper lady. And yet, she had been highly improper recently. Her mother was likely turning in her grave.
Her mind drifted to Hildegarde, whom she actually met after the rehersal, durring afternoon tea. She was also one of the servants who tended to Maudeline and Finis durring their honeymoon.
Hildegarde was the ideal servant, as said by Maudeline's in-laws, from whom she and Finis had gotten much of their staff from. She was quick, obedient, and could perform any reasonable task with ease. And no matter the day, she kept a proffesional public appearance.
Maudeline couldn't help but thing about that last part. From as young as she could remember, she was taught that her public appearance was one of the most important things to maintain. Just as important as basic survival. Even as it was revealed to her and her mother that the Everglots were cash poor, even as she and Finis fell further and further towards becoming destetute, Maudeline was instructed to keep up the appearence of a rich lady. Grand feasts, holding social gatherings with other families, and keeping as much staff as possible.
She and Finis technically complied by keeping two servants: Hildegarde and Emil.
Still, Maudeline's mother did not approve.
She never approved of much of Maudeline's actions when they went against her teaching.
Maudeline sighed as she looked towards the desk. "It must be done," she said to heself as she reached out...
...and pulled the bell chord.
Just as her mother taught her to do.
Author's note: Apologies for this chapter taking so long again. For a bit of context, in PlayerPiano's most recent view at the time of updating, they made a constructive comment about Maudeline being a bit out of character, and to try and keep her in character withoit it seeming out of the blue, I decided to try and write a chapter that would provide a bit of a backstory for why Maudeline is so strict in the first place. And then serious writer's block came again for this story! And it was the worst! Luckily, I was able to blow off some steam by writing another fanfic for Frankenweenie, "The Crazy Fox Across the Street." So just as a heads up: if I don't update "Fluttering Hearts" for a long time before completion, I may be working on "The Crazy Fox Across the Street", or another future story, to blow over the writer's block.
Also, to PlayerPiano:Thank you for your constructive criticism. I will try to improve in some of the other parts of the story, such as making Nightshade fit in the story better (seriously, looking back on it, I honestly don't know what I was thinking with her intro chapter, or if I was even thinking through all the adrenaline-fueled creativity from finding out how to introduce my OC in a memorable way).