I'm back! Haha, one of you said "If you haven't already completed it already" referring to this story.. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for your incredibly sweet review (really, I loved it. People who take time to be specific about what they like about my story seriously make my whole day and I love you so much), but I had to laugh at that. No no, I'm often typing these chapters up until 4 AM before they are posted, and not all of the specifics of the story are planned. I have a lot of ideas and directions I know I'm going to take, but not enough to make typing these chapters up quick (even though I don't write the longest chapters)! It was suggested that I schedule my updates. Now, I didn't want to schedule a specific time in case I'm off occasionally but as of right now I'm in a habit of updating every other night. Obviously that's a bit ambitious especially since I'm the worst procrastinator ever and I don't start writing the chapter until the day of (even if I have the document open all day the previous day lol), but since I'm in the habit right now there isn't much point in trying to change that because even if I give myself a less ambitious timeline I know myself and I know that I won't use the extra days to write anyway. Luckily, I usually don't have much of a life and all of my friends are away for college or working all of the time, and my boyfriend lives in another country (and he is Syrian, and I live in the United States, soo.. If you've been paying attention to the news..) Also, no I definitely don't plan on killing Astoria off! I apologize if this story seems slow paced, but I do prefer it that way, and I appreciate you guys being tolerant of the whole story not solely revolving around Draco and Astoria's relationship. Honestly, it's hard to write stories only focused on romance. They get repetitive pretty quickly. I'm also glad you are fine with the memory aspect of the story since a lot of the story is navigated through that. I want to get more stories into my favorites/follows so that you guys have other things to look at between updates (not that you don't already, I just really like when authors have a lot in their favorites so I can find other stories easily instead of trying to wade through the search), but I haven't been reading a lot (and I don't remember the ones I already love) since I started writing. I will try to do that at some point though! Happy reading!
I don't own anything from Harry Potter.
Draco examined the sheen on the pretty witch's face he had just ravished, a new wave of possession rolling over him. She grew more beautiful every time he actually took a moment to look at her, especially in the aftermath of her pleasure.
Especially during her pleasure.
He had never reveled in the act of pleasing a woman during sex as he did with Astoria. The purpose of pleasing the other person was always to prove his skill, for power control, but he felt something different with Astoria. He wanted her to feel crippled in the pleasure he gave her. He wanted her to feel better than she had ever thought possible, to forget everything and everyone but him and what he was giving her.
The odd affection in her eyes as she looked at him then made him slightly uncomfortable as it stirred the desire to reciprocate the feelings she was portraying to him, to confirm to her that her affections were met with something similar from him. She had often looked so insecure around him.
Her affection wasn't for him. She didn't know him. Her affection was only from him being the only person she had, and the fact that he was giving her small amounts of attention and any small amount he gave her while she was all alone besides him would of course make her respond strongly. It could be any person in his place giving her the same attention and she would have the same swooning reaction. It wasn't him specifically she desired attention from, just attention.
He tasted the bitterness in his mouth and he pulled back from her, feeling her watch his facial expression carefully. "Why do you do that?" She asked him quietly.
He regarded her with a cool expression, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
"You just.. Shut yourself off. Make yourself resent with me as soon as you seem open to the idea of us having somewhat of a relationship. A relationship that's more than a business arrangement."
"That is all we are, and that's why you're with me specifically."
"It doesn't have to be," she said, her voice sad.
"Romance is the final thing on my mind. Actually, it isn't on my mind at all," he told her coldly. He grew tired of this topic. He had gotten it enough from his mother. He wouldn't pretend as if they were happily in love and connected. No, he refused.
"It's not.. Romance that I want. But.. We are married. We are in this together," she said slowly, watching his eyes as she crossed her arms over her breasts now as she seemed to grow insecure again.
"Together? All you know and were instructed to know is to sit and look pretty while men make sure you are safe and provide you with a grand home," he told her, his voice growing harsh.
"That isn't true, Draco!" She cried, her eyes bright in frustration. "I know so much, more than you give me credit for. I know how to survive. I received near perfect marks in school; I'm a talented witch. Perhaps men might see us as useless trophies first, but in times like these we are prepared for this too. We are prepared for much more than you believe us prepared. I am prepared for much more than you believe me prepared. I'm not stupid, Draco. Do you think I care about your money? I have money! I've had money! I can't control what is expected of me, I just do it! I'm still.. A person." She stopped when her voice started to tremble and she looked away from him, controlling herself before speaking in a much smaller voice. "I want my life to mean something. I will go crazy with.. Emptiness if not. I can't survive on nothing. Is it so horrible for me to want something with you? With us? To want to be a part of your life? To know my husband?"
"You don't want to be a part of my life. You only want someone to be a part of your life, and I'm your only option. It has nothing to do with me." Draco wasn't sure why he was professing these things to her, he had hardly been aware of these bitter thoughts himself.
"Well you're my husband! Of course I have to do the best with what I have! We don't choose our husbands!"
"You did choose me," he hissed, his face now inches from hers. "You chose me, and now you're complaining about me."
"I-I chose who I was meant to choose and impressed who I was meant to impress."
"Here you are, you and my mother, constantly trying to convince me that you are a person. What am I then? Since you are complaining I treat you as if you are not a person. What have you thought of me as? A prize to be won. The unwanted burden that comes with the name you get to stick to the end of your own, the price that you have to pay for the status you want. That's all I am to all of you leeches." Draco could feel himself almost shaking in his anger now and he fought to calm himself down.
"I did what you asked me to and now I'm being punished! What kind of prize is he?!"
"Hopefully the ultimate one if we are lucky."
"My apologies that your prize is both that and a punishment, Astoria. I did not force you to marry me, I did not ask for you. I barely noticed you before now. It is you who went after me. Who you are is nothing to me. You could have been any of your clones, it's no difference to me."
Astoria looked down as pain crossed her face, shaking her head slowly. "We both have our misunderstandings of each other. I want to understand you, Draco. Don't push me away. I'm sorry. I didn't ask for things to be this way they just are. Just as you didn't ask them to be this way," she said weakly.
"You believe yourself the only victim of these things."
"I don't, I-"
"You do. Do not speak back to me. Don't you know your place? You chose to be miserable. You chose your place. Based on the petty little memories I've seen from you and based on the interest he shows for you, Nott would have given you exactly what you want me to give you. Perhaps he would have treated you like a person," he sneered. "But perhaps you forgot him when you decided to put all of your efforts into achieving my name because Astoria Malfoy is just above Astoria Nott. Well, now you have it, love. Live with it."
He watched Astoria tremble and her full lip quivered. She looked so deliciously vulnerable in that moment and he felt something animalistic move in him at the sight. She had a gorgeous tortured face. Actually, any true emotion on her features suited her. Impulsively he grabbed her face in his hand, running his thumb over her quivering mouth. "I could be worse to you," he murmured darkly, watching her mouth carefully. She shivered, looking confused at his touch but still leaned into it ever so slightly.
So responsive.
"I'm not asking for you to treat me differently or make any effort.. I just am asking that you stop reminding yourself of your dislike for me. Again, I didn't ask to be in my position, I-"
"Again, you find yourself the only victim."
"I just know my own experience and my own feelings. I don't know yours. I would like to know yours.. But you are so closed off, and it's not as if I can force it out of you. That's something you have that I don't. Privacy. My whole life my father has been in my head constantly, and now you. Everything about me is open to you, but you're upset with me for not knowing you when there is no way for me to know you," she told him, a trace of resentment laced in her voice as her mouth moved against his thumb after not pulling away from him.
"Privacy?" Draco chuckled darkly, entering her mind again immediately after he spoke.
"Tori, you're going to fall asleep in your breakfast, and you're slumping in your seat horribly. Honestly, get yourself together. You're embarrassing me" Sixth year Daphne Greengrass muttered to her younger sister who was tiredly sat beside her in the Great Hall, elbowing her.
Astoria straightened up slowly, rubbing her eyes that were ringed with deep circles from lack of rest. Her hair was tied up in an uncharacteristically messy bun and her robes were looking disheveled. "Why haven't you been sleeping! You look like such a mess!" Daphne hissed, pushing her breakfast at her. "Eat! What has gotten into you. I hope you aren't growing depressed. At least warn me if you're considering flinging yourself off of the Astronomy Tower."
Astoria ignored her nagging sister and slowly started picking at the food on the table in front of her, looking down the Slytherin table at Draco Malfoy. She was only a couple of bites in when Draco got up only minutes after sitting down after grabbing a green apple, walking rigidly from the Great Hall.
Astoria's face shown with frustration and exhaustion and she sat still for a few moments before getting up herself, leaving her food. "Astoria! Where on Earth are you going now?!"
Astoria ignored her sister again and her mutterings to her friends about how "odd she could be sometimes" and followed Draco, keeping her distance to not be suspected.
The memory skipped forward to Astoria writing to her father about her findings, practically falling asleep while writing before she pulled a silvery memory from her head, bottling it tiredly before attaching it to her owl's leg and sending it and the letter off. The young girl buried her head in her arms, seemingly decided on sleeping where she sat before her sister came into her dorm loudly, looking angry. "How is it you can miss classes, strut about doing whatever it is you do, look a mess every day lately, and I'm still the one getting reprimanded in letters from our parents?" Daphne demanded, shaking her head, her blonde hair down on her shoulders. "It must be so nice being father's favorite."
Astoria lifted her head slightly but didn't turn her head to look at her sister and laughed weakly as if she had just heard the most ridiculous thing she had heard in a while. "Yes, yes it's very funny. I'm sure you're just elated at how easy things are for you, so easy that you don't even have to try anymore. What have you been doing? Meeting some boy to shag in a dirty broom closet somewhere so you can feel bad and exciting for once?" Daphne sneered.
"I believe that's your area of expertise, so you would know, wouldn't you, Daphne? Is that what I'm doing?"
Daphne laughed a short laugh in anger, looking shocked at her sister's comment. "You're a miserable, spoiled bitch. I hope you know," she spat out.
"You do well to remind me often. Now, I would do anything, anything," Astoria said slowly, her eyes closed. "For you to shut up and stop whining at me about your petty bullshit so I can sleep."
Daphne grit her teeth angrily before leaving, slamming her sister's dorm room door and leaving Astoria to fall asleep almost immediately, seemingly unbothered by Daphne's intrusion and words.
Draco watched his wife closely as the images faded, tightening his grip on her face. "Is that what you meant by privacy? As you gave me privacy while you reported to your father about what I was doing at practically every moment during my sixth year?"
Astoria winced under his grip and put her hand on top of his, looking up at him with sad eyes, a tiredness filling them. "I can assure you it was nothing I came with up for myself to do. I would have much rather been focusing on my studies and sleep which you seemingly never did."
Draco snorted loudly and entered her mind again, not patient enough to deal with her. He saw her face fall weakly as she braced herself for another invasion.
Astoria walked down the dark, empty halls tiredly, appearing to be searching for someone. The rings under her eyes were now even deeper than they had been previously. "I thought I would find you out, beautiful. It seems you're always out after hours," a mocking voice said, coming out from around the corner.
Astoria stopped, looking confused at the older Gryffindor boy confronting her. She looked him up and down with disdain, taking a step back from his as she wrinkled her nose slightly. "If you want to get me in trouble you should know that you will be in trouble too, so it's best if we just leave each other be and be on our own ways," she told him, frowning.
The boy shook his head slowly, eyeing her hungrily as if she were a meal. "I don't want to get you in trouble, and wipe that "I'm better than you" look off of your face, you stupid bitch. I've always wondered what you rich, air-headed sluts were made of," he told her, his eyes glinting nastily. "I reckon I'll find out now."
Astoria shook her head, looking confused and annoyed. "I don't have time for you. Please, harass someone else. Congratulations on obviously getting your hands on some alcohol, but I am not bothering you," she snapped and resumed her walking, attempting to move around him.
The boy grabbed her arm roughly as she passed him, shoving her small frame against the castle wall. "Oh no, love. I want to harass you, and in fact, you are bothering me. The whole lot of you bothers me. I believe I'm owed some compensation for having to deal with you," he laughed, some of his words slurring slightly.
Astoria struggled against him, trying to reach for her wand that was buried in her pocket between them. The boy used a silencing charm on her and Astoria stilled suddenly, a look of understanding filling her tired eyes. She began to struggle violently, kicking and thrashing at him and the boy pulled her back only to slam her hard against the castle wall again. Astoria's mouth opened in pain, but her cries were silent in result of the spell. The boy pressed a vial against her lips and she clamped closed, yanking her head away. He forced the glass against her lips roughly, splitting her lower lip as he forced it through while holding her head forcibly still as he poured the potion down her throat, his nails digging into the skin of her face. "There you go, princess. It will only be a bit now and you will feel nice and relaxed," he purred, pressing his lips against her ear, his hands moving over her struggling body sloppily and invasively.
Astoria froze when she saw Draco returning from where he had disappeared to, passing the two against the wall and the boy's hands continued to roam her body, not noticing Draco. Draco spotted them and scoffed loudly in disgust, shaking his head. "It seems neither of the Greengrass girls can keep their legs closed," he commented distastefully before he directed his attention back to where he was walking.
The Gryffindor boy was thrown off Astoria as her hand had found her wand and stunned him, his silencing charm weak and non lasting. Draco turned at the sound the boy made when he hit the opposing wall across from her and Astoria quickly pointed her wand at Draco, stunning him as well. She scrambled to where Draco was laying, kneeling beside him and obliviating him carefully before moving from the hall and turning the corner, holding onto the wall as the potion seemed to be taking affect on her.
Once away from the two stunned boys, Astoria stopped against the wall she was clinging to, dropping slowly to the ground weakly and she watched as her wand rolled out of her hand. Astoria squeezed her eyes squeezed shut as a few lurking boys approached her, only to swiftly leave the scene as Theodore Nott came up behind them, snapping at them to clear out, another Slytherin next to him. He knelt next to her, looking confused and suspicious. "What happened, Astoria?" He asked her.
Astoria looked at him through half closed eyes, her eyes seemingly unfocused. He shook his head and wiped the blood on her lip, standing to look around. He saw the Gryffindor boy getting up from around the corner while gripping his head in pain, Draco already gone. Theodore narrowed his eyes and looked at his friend next to him who was assessing the situation as well. Theodore spotted and picked up the fallen vial on the ground and examined it, sniffing it. He looked at the Gryffindor slowly in disgust and knelt to grab Astoria's wand before gathering the small girl in his arms while the Slytherin that came with him walked towards the younger Gryffindor, drawing his wand.
The memory blurred forward and Daphne was pacing in front of Astoria, stopping when she noticed her waking up and went over to her, kneeling next to her. "What is wrong with you, Tori? How could you go and allow this to be done to you? You can't go out after hours! Especially not alone! This could have ended horribly!" She breathed out, looking both angry at and worried for her little sister.
Astoria shook her head, her face emotionless as she stood up shakily, wincing as she stood. She licked the dried blood on her lip and shuddered, moving past her confused and protesting sister and going slowly to the bathroom. She got into the showers, turning on the water to a steaming heat before she sank to the floor under the water, covering her face as she began to weep and shake.
Draco pulled from Astoria's head and looked at her panicked face, emotions rising in him. "I'm sorry. I had to obliviate you. You thought.. You could have told people that I was sleeping with that boy, and that would have been.. Merlin knows I can't even be sexually assaulted without being called a whore," she rushed out, searching his face worriedly as she shrunk back from him slightly, looking fearful. But he wasn't thinking about that, wasn't caring about the fact she had obliviated him.
Draco's eyes were unfocused as he thought of what he had witnessed. He was angry at his younger self who had sneered at the girl, his wife, as she was about to be raped by that disgusting excuse for a male. He had done nothing to stop it, hadn't even realized what had very blatantly been happening.
Of course Nott had been there to help. Him being there was becoming quite the aggravating pattern.
"I had to think quickly, I'm sorry, and if you're going to be angry with me-"
"Stop talking," he told her firmly, closing his eyes as he fought to calm his anger. He needed to find this boy.
He needed to ruin him.
It was known that the women from their community were treated horribly by a lot of the people who had opposing views, but for that to happen at Hogwarts when she was so young? He certainly wasn't aware of that sort of behavior being common. Who raised these revolting and pathetic idiots? And they had the nerve to criticize them? "Who was that," he demanded flatly.
"I don't know his name.." She replied slowly, looking guarded. "Just some random boy, probably drunk, a random Gryffindor who was feeling brave."
"Feeling brave," Draco retorted, laughing coldly. "Yes, forcing a fourth year half their size to take a potion to make it easier for them to rape them is incredibly brave."
Astoria watched him and Draco noticed that her body had relaxed slightly after he had not gotten angry with her over the fact she had used magic on him. "He didn't rape me. I got him off of me," she told him firmly. "Perhaps he was not intending to go as far as rape. He was only a fifth year."
Draco moved from her, his mind going over and over what he had seen. How often had things like that happened? What had she been more afraid of? Being raped or being labeled a whore by him? A coldness swept over him as he had a strong feeling of which answer he was more inclined to believe. He handed her her clothing and redressed himself, picturing her tired eyes and messy appearance from following him so much that year. He felt both angry and sorry for her, knowing well she hadn't really cared to follow him around. How had he not noticed being followed so closely?
He was an idiot.
"Dinner," he told her flatly, leaving the piano room to go to the dining hall and leaving her there to dress herself.