Hey! I know, my updating hasn't gotten better yet, but fingers crossed that it will! Alicia: Yes, it seems like a lot of people are having the email issue! Thank you for your amazing words by the way, I live for reviews like yours, and thank you to everyone else who takes the time to tell me their thoughts on my story who I don't get to PM my appreciation due to guest accounts! You guys make my day so much better. Oh, I was going through some old chapters and even when I was only skimming I found so many mistakes. How do you guys even deal with me?
I don't own anything from Harry Potter.
Edric closed his eyes at his own words, loathing the idea of saying goodbye to his own sister. They had not spoken or seen each other in years, but the thought of actually saying goodbye slaughtered his heart. There didn't seem to be another option, as he doubted she would even be willing to speak to him outside of this one instance, which even now she was not exactly willing. He had forced her. Which, he had not meant to be so forward initially. He had no right to be touching her, pushing himself into her space and speaking to her as if nothing had changed. He hadn't meant to overwhelm her, though he knew just existing in front of her eyes had overwhelmed her, but he had still meant to approach her with care.
But it was so difficult to hold himself back.
He shouldn't have found his way here in the first place, as it was completely unfair to Astoria and her boundaries, not to mention the fact of how forbidden it was for her to be communicating with him, acknowledging him period. He had to see her, had to at least attempt to get through to her that he did in fact love her after being unable to answer her cries that evening, that evening that would assault his head space for the remainder of his life. How could he stand to know that she never heard him tell her that he loved her after he, in her eyes, abandoned her? He doubted his words would ring true to her, as the culture of their society was imbedded into her as well as him, but he had to try. It was good Daphne had not been alone, as he was sure he would be likely to overstep with her as well, but he did not have the strength to not go to his baby sister, not after witnessing their own father torturing her for Edric's own doing.
His mind was still reeling from the viciousness of the truth and the ability it had to rip his soul to bits.
He had thought he knew what it was to hurt and to feel torn in half, but to witness his sweet Astoria struggling to control her emotions after he had broken her heart before being mercilessly tortured until she couldn't even find the air to scream, until she lost consciousness.
His breath was taken away once more at the images of the scene replaying in his mind, tightening his arms around his sister who was still so small despite her aging significantly since the last time he had held her. He wished he could now comply to her pleas to take her with him. She deserved to be away from this place, away from their father and new husband. She deserved so much more. This wasn't the place for her.
No, this was the place for her now.
She wasn't as she was when she had begged him to take her away, when she had been so lively and incapable of behaving just right. When she ripped her hair down from its bows and kicked the shoes off of her feet to run around in the grass. She was not that girl anymore, and that was because of him. Because he chose to involve himself with his wife, his wife who didn't deserve to be married to a man stuck on his past and who didn't deserve to be degraded to tears by his sister for his own actions. What Astoria had said to Ophelia only proved how she truly belonged in her world, and there was no turning back time to who she once was. Not that he could ever take her away, there was no chance his father would allow another child to walk away freely again. No, just as he couldn't hope for a chance at a relationship with her. Aside from the fact he doubted Astoria or her husband would allow it, it was dangerous for both women involved. His wife was already in danger enough, showing up at the Manor with many witnesses. His father could so easily find out, and judging by both sisters reactions to him and his wife he wouldn't be shocked if they went to tell him of what had happened themselves.
Yet he was there, opening old wounds. Well, he supposed the wounds had resurfaced the moment their eyes met there as she turned away from his wife, but he still should be giving her her space as both her husband and that other woman had said.
It was selfish of him, and perhaps him trying to clear her doubts of his feelings towards her was only making things so much worse than they already were, but he had always been selfish, hadn't he? Their world didn't breed quality men as they so claimed, not the quality men that the women in it deserved, as their women and their flaws were a direct result of how the men in their lives treated them.
Ah, he could practically hear such a claim on his mother's lips.
"If I say goodbye will you leave right now?" She asked him, her voice cold and stiff, masking the vulnerability underneath it.
Edric sighed, savoring the feeling of her in his arms while he was still able. "Of course. If that is what you want."
He held himself back from saying more, as he wanted to say more to convince her to let him speak with her longer, let them make the most of this time while they had it. He did not want to pressure her more into a situation causing her such distress, he had already pushed her limits. Ophelia had pushed her limits, and he had not been the least bit surprised at the words she had used towards his wife. She had a mean streak, he had known that since she had just started speaking as a child, and she had a burning temper that blinded her. She may be poised and done up now as a young woman, but with age that temper had only been polished and refined into something cold and harsh. She had been raised in an environment that was cold and harsh, and a product of that environment she was. He was stunned, however, when she had mimicked their own father's stunts against his wife, forcing her to her knees in front of her the way she had. It had nauseated him and created a strong moment of resentment for his little sister that had quickly faded into pity and guilt that her unhealthy animosity towards Ophelia was because of him.
She had spoken of their dead children.
The possibility of a curse being placed on Ophelia in order to prevent her from birthing him children had graced his mind, but he hadn't allowed himself to truly consider it seeing as it would crush both of them if it were true, and would only further prove how horrible he was for his wife and the misfortunes he had caused everyone he loved. Every single one. It wasn't fair for him to avoid his suspicions and carry on with her as normal, allowing Ophelia to believe their children had been lost naturally, he knew that.
"I don't.. I don't know," Astoria murmured after being silent for a length of time. "Where is Draco?"
"Hopefully suffering at the hands of Pucey seeing as he is incapable of being decent towards our sister."
"They're fighting?" Astoria asked, concern in her voice.
"No, but they should be. Malfoy blatantly and openly insulted her. I would kill anyone who-" He cut off, realizing how false his statement would be given the recent events. "He's a classless prick."
"He isn't as horrible as he seems," she said quietly. "He has been very patient with me.. He doesn't know you're in here?"
"No. Seeing as he wouldn't let Daphne come to see you, I doubt he would allow myself."
"Where is she?" She asked, her tone falling into something dark.
"Waiting for me," he answered levelly. "She is unhappy with me at the moment, but she is being very reasonable towards you given how you've treated her."
"Don't you dare attempt to scold me for putting that worthless mud-"
"Astoria," he interrupted her. "Please. Insult me if you must, but please let her be. She has never had malicious intent towards our family. You made your thoughts on her very clear, now please be done with it."
"You love her," she nearly whispered. "More than you love me. Or Daphne."
"No. Absolutely not do I love her more than either of you. I couldn't.. Was I meant to allow her to die?"
"You allowed me to die."
He could have melted into the floorboards as she made him feel so much lower than them when her words struck him. He tried to swallow the familiar lump of shame clawing at his throat but his mouth was too dry. He didn't know what to say, he had already apologized, and at the end of at all apologies helped absolutely nothing.
"Would you have stayed with her had father not found out?" She asked when he didn't respond, couldn't respond. Her words hadn't called for a response, they had only been meant to be a blow to his heart, and they had succeeded.
"No," he said firmly, feeling her tense in his arms.
"Are you lying?"
"No," he repeated. "I never wanted to leave any of you or my responsibilities. I wouldn't have left only for pleasure."
"So it was my fault," she said softly, deflating against him.
"What?" He asked, bewildered at her change of mood. "Astoria, how could it possibly be your fault?"
"I'm the reason father knew. If I hadn't seen it, you would still be mine."
"I am still yours," he told her, moving his hand to run it over her head.
"No. You know you're not." Her tone was short, but she didn't attempt to move away from his hand.
"I," he started before sighing, considering his words. "You wouldn't have me if I tried to give myself back to you."
"It's not possible," Astoria said coolly. "Draco has already been more than fair with-"
"Stop describing him as a decent husband," he interrupted her. "He marked you with dark magic."
"Not an uncommon occurrence in our world as you should know, or have you grown so soft from being in your wife's that you've forgotten?" She asked, her tone irritatingly defensive of Malfoy.
"Show them to me," he commanded, ignoring her question and pulling back to examine her.
"They aren't covered with a charm, Edric," she mumbled, looking down at her rumpled dress before tugging at the hem, attempting to fix her appearance somewhat. "He controls them, or if another man touches me who.. Wants me. I suppose. I'm not entirely sure how they work."
"And they hurt you?" He demanded, eyeing her skin suspiciously, finding it only clear and unflawed as he attempted to search his memory for an enchantment that would match such a description.
She hummed in agreement, her gaze still on her dress. "Yes.. But then they.. Don't hurt me," she continued to mumble, her face slightly coloring and she ducked her head more before inhaling sharply.
"Stop," he said, his face moving into a grimace as disgust rolled through him as he made sense of her words and odd behavior. "No more."
"You are the one prying," she snapped, looking away from him in embarrassment. "I.. Was trying to say how we couldn't.." Her face fell slightly as she looked forward with a sudden thought. "Father will see this, see us.. He'll see me speaking to you," she said, her voice filling with panic as she scrambled back from him. "Letting you touch me.. A blood traitor." She looked as if she was attempting to remind herself again that she should be revolted with the thought of touching a blood traitor. "He will kill you when he finds out."
Though from what Pucey had shown him, a blood traitor had given birth to both of them.
"Have you seen father as of late?" He asked calmly, attempting not to panic along with her as she reminded him of his worries.
She shook her head slowly. "No.. I've only seen mother a few times. They are in hiding, but you know how mother is."
"I do know how mother is," he confirmed gravely, a small, sad smile lifting his lips. "And you don't know how to hide anything from him?"
"Why should I?" Astoria demanded, meeting his eyes with her distressed ones. "Why should I not tell him of your return? That you and your mudblood dared to come back here when you know the rules of these things. You know father."
"I don't know why you shouldn't," he sighed. "I don't know, Astoria."
She looked away, staring at the wall opposite from him. They sat in silence for a long time once more, and Edric didn't attempt to move towards her again.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice small and sweet this time, a tone of mourning in her words.
"Why are you sorry?" He asked, frowning at the back of her disheveled hair.
"About your children. I'm sorry you lost them." She turned her head towards him, but her eyes were trained on the bed as she ran her index finger along the bedding in a pattern. "You would be a good father. I shouldn't.. I shouldn't have said those things about them. No woman deserves that."
He opened his mouth, stopping for a moment before letting out his breath, nodding slowly. "Thank you," he said quietly, surprised and appreciative at her words.
"I don't want you to get hurt," she continued, her voice sounding even closer to her voice as a child. "Perhaps a little.. But I don't want father to find out. I'm not sure if I can help that though.."
"Ah, my own sister doesn't want me murdered. The highest praise I've ever received. I'm touched, Tori." It was an inappropriate time for humor, but the angst that hung in the air was beginning to suffocate him.
Edric froze at the approaching sound, glancing at Astoria reluctantly before apparating from the room and to his wife awaiting him in a distant section of the home.
Astoria turned to look at her husband as he entered the room, attempting to not appear wide-eyed and nervous at his entrance as her heart fell back to a relaxed pace from the small surge of panic at the sound of his approach, nearly catching her brother in his room with her.
"You should get some sleep," he told her, eyeing her face, his face nearly unreadable aside from a ghost of concern.
"What's going on?" She asked, frowning at the fact he was not already updating her on everything.
"An Anti-Disapparation Jinx has been placed around the property," he told her dismissively. "It seems the Aurors have concluded that it was either a scare tactic, or something to bait them with. The wards on the Manor have not been touched otherwise. Granger says they will be working on removing them, insisting I extend my hospitality to her for the night."
"Aren't you worried?" Astoria asked, standing to go to him, concern filling her.
"Yes," he admitted. "Slightly, but for now there is nothing to be done, and I would like to keep my mind off of my worries as well as my disgust that I am currently allowing such people to sleep in my home."
She noticed how he wasn't mentioning the fact that Edric and his wife were stuck in the Manor as well, and she assumed he was hoping she wouldn't come to that conclusion.
"You'll rest with me?" She asked, shoving the thoughts of her brother aside. She needed peace from her mind, even if it was just until morning.
"Where else would I rest? The floor? This is my bedroom."
"I was only making sure."
"We sleep together every night, Astoria," he told her dully. "I do wish to shower before bed, however.
"Well I wanted a bath.." She sighed. She desperately needed one actually. Showers never had quite the same effect.
"Are you demanding that I should allow you in the bathroom first?" He drawled, unbuttoning his shirt.
"No. You could have a bath with me," she suggested, blinking at herself in embarrassment after she thought over her words.
Draco snorted, giving her a look. "A bath? Honestly? Do I look like the type to take baths?"
"Yes," she replied innocently, pulling the corners of her lips down in attempt to hide her smile. "A bit."
"A bit," he repeated.
"Yes, you're quite pretty, you know," she told him, nodding.
He snorted again, and Astoria stood to go to him, wiping the remainder of tears that hadn't quite dried into the stickiness of the rest of them that clung to her face. She moved his hands, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt herself.
"Won't you take one with me?" She asked, looking up at him through her eyelashes to meet his silvery eyes, surprised satisfaction falling over her when she watched them falter.
He searched her eyes for a moment before nodding his head his slightly once. She smiled, pushing his shirt off of his shoulders as her eyes fell back to his body.
Yes, he was quite a good distraction.
"Are you trying to seduce me when there is still snot all over your face?"
Astoria glared at his chest and pulled away. "I do not have snot all over my face, Draco," she grumbled, running her fingers through her tangled hair before turning towards the bathroom. "I wasn't trying to seduce you either," she continued, sniffing. "You would know if I was, and I wouldn't have to try."
Astoria narrowed her eyes when she heard his snicker at her statement, pressing her lips together.
"You're cute, love."
Astoria ignored him, running the bath before stripping out of her dress, turning to the mirror before her eyes widened slightly in horror at the state of her face, touching her puffy eyes gingerly. "I look hideous," she groaned to herself, wiping at the ruined mascara with little luck at improving her appearance.
"My wife could never look hideous. Don't be ridiculous," Draco told her, slinking up behind her to slide his hands up her arms before kissing her shoulder, his lips lingering on her skin as his eyes flicked up to meet hers in the mirror.
She hummed, breaking her gaze from his quickly to hide her shyness, pulling away from him and the mirror as she reached behind her to undo her bra.
"You asked me to join you," he pointed out. "Yet you don't seem too thrilled at my presence."
"You were rude," she huffed, climbing into the scalding water once she was completely nude, wincing at the temperature.
"I believe I gave you a compliment, actually. I don't remember 'cute' being rude," he answered, stepping out of the rest of his own clothing.
"You were making fun of me. You see me as a child, just as others do."
"I should hope to Merlin I see you as more than a child," he scoffed, stepping into the water with her. "Or else I'd have to worry about my mental health in result of desiring to fuck a woman I consider a child. That would be quite disturbing."
"It's too hot," she complained, shifting uncomfortably as she ignored his response.
"It's nice," he said firmly, snatching her wand from her as she attempted to cool the water down, tossing it across the room.
"Draco," she protested, frowning at her wand that was rolling away. "I feel nervous with my wand so far from my reach."
"You may use mine if an emergency arrises," he replied, rolling his eyes.
Astoria felt a thrill run through her and she tried to hide how he flattered her, as a wizard sharing his wand was quite an intimate gesture.
"I'm boiling," she went on complaining, shifting in the water to move towards him, taking in the view of his body finally as she did before turning herself to sit between his legs, her back facing his.
"You're complaining an awful lot for someone I'm doing a favor for," he mused, gathering her closer to him until her the back of her was firmly pressed against as much of his skin as possible.
"A favor?" She asked, scowling as she settled back to rest against him, her body growing used to the burning water. "How is being naked with your wife a favor?"
"I could have you anywhere I please, with or without the bathtub."
"You could, but you don't."
She regretted her words when she could practically feel him smirking behind her.
"Oh? You sound disappointed," he said, his tone coated in amusement as he ran his hands down the front of her body, caressing her under the water.
"I don't sound disappointed. You're just taking my statement as you want it to be," she said firmly, trying not to respond too strongly to his touches. "I do wish to become clean in result of this bath.." She watched his hands roam her skin under the clear water, feeling her body press up against his touch instinctively.
"As do I, seeing as you've taken my shower from me," he told her, moving her away from him as he plucked up her bath products, eyeing them.
She turned to face him, taking them from him and spilling several of her bathing potions into the bath, inhaling contently. She grabbed a washcloth after clearing her face of its mess, pouring her soaps over it to begin cleaning herself.
"This is the cliché part where you wash me," he said dully, settling back to lean against the tub lazily.
"In a moment," she told him, glancing at the water rolling down his pale chest, allowing her gaze to linger when she noticed his eyes close. "I will finish myself first."
"Mmm."
"You could be the romantic one and wash me instead," she told him, smiling at him when he opened one eye to give her a look.
"I don't have the energy," he said, his tone slightly played up as he closed the eye again. "I'm exhausted. I've been through more than enough nonsense today."
Oh, if they were to compare.
"You wouldn't do it right anyway." He hummed again at her words, and didn't move from his position for the rest of her washing, giving her plenty of time to look at him without him watching her.
"Surely you would be finished quicker if you weren't gawking."
She felt her face heat up and she glowered down at the water, dipping down to rinse the conditioner out of her hair. "I'm nearly finished."
"Mhm."
Boldly, she shifted to settle directly in his lap, her legs on either side of his waist as she straddled him in the water, washing his chest with her washcloth.
He lifted his head to look at her face, and she could faintly see his eyes traveling down from her face and over her chest then back to her face.
"Do you see what I mean, love? Cute."
She stopped, frowning at him in offense. "You're just trying to get a rise out of me, Draco."
"No, it's you who is clearly trying to get a rise out of me."
"That was a poor attempt at humor," she mumbled, lifting her chin slightly as she continued her scrubbing.
"Don't pout simply because you're unsuccessful."
She blinked, tilting her head as she shifted in his lap, brushing herself against the target of their implications.
"No I'm not," she told him curiously.
His face remained neutral, but she heard his sharp intake of breath and smirked triumphantly, moving the washcloth over his shoulders and neck smugly.
"Don't look too pleased with yourself. I would hate for your head to grow too large."
"I agree, I don't think that if we both had engorged egos that they would be able to fit in this home together."
"You only grow more confident in your wit with me over time it seems."
"You're allowing it," she murmured, catching his eye as she watched him questioningly. "Aren't you?"
"So it seems," he confirmed, his eyes softening as he spoke.
She closed the small distance between their faces and kissed him, listening to the water slosh lightly as she moved to press herself closer to him, tasting his mouth and enjoying the way their bodies glided against each other under the water. Like in his office, he didn't attempt to do any more aside from respond to her lips with his own gently, allowing her her freedom which she hadn't experienced much of in her life. She grabbed his face in her hands to angle him properly, climbing higher around his waist as she kissed him just as bruisingly as the first time he had kissed her. She rocked herself forward to rub her hips against his waist, nearly laughing in amusement at the even louder sloshing of the bath water. Just as he moved his hands and lost his composure into this kiss she broke it, just as he had broken so many of his kisses to her before just when she had began to enjoy them. She smiled at him when he looked at her with dull eyes and leaned forward to kiss the lids of them before kissing his nose and then his forehead before pushing down on his shoulders.
"Attempting to drown me, are you?" He asked, eyeing the water as she forced him down.
"Yes," she said, her tone serious as she made him wet his hair before massaging her own shampoo into it, rubbing her fingers carefully into his scalp.
He sighed at her hands and she watched in satisfaction when his eyes closed once more in pleasure. Perhaps she wasn't the most horrible wife.
They were quiet for the rest of the bath until he stood, scooping her up, dripping wet before stepping out with her, grabbing a towel to wrap around her as she held back a shriek at his abrupt movement and clawed at his neck to get a good grip.
"Bath time is over," he told her firmly. "I'm going wrinkly."
Astoria nearly choked on the giggles that spilled past her lips, pressing her face into his slick shoulder to stifle them as he dried her, dropping her on the bed before drying himself with the same towel, smirking at the way her bits moved with how he had let her fall onto the bedding and she quickly covered her breasts, crawling up to her side of the bed near her pillow before dragging her fingers through her wet hair that was already tangling. She stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to catch on before he raised an eyebrow at her slowly.
"You expect me to go and fetch it for you?"
She let her face fall before shaking her head, moving to get up from the bed before he stopped her.
"Don't," he told her flatly, turning to go back to the bathroom before emerging with her hairbrush.
She beamed, taking the brush from him to untangle her hair, climbing under the blankets when she was finished and wriggling against the sheets at the feeling of them on her naked skin. She waited for him to join her in his bed before crawling over him, resting her whole body against the length of his, kissing his throat as she savored the feel. She trailed her fingers lightly up the sides of him, his skin still hot from the bath water as she nibbled his neck curiously, pleased he was silent and compliant as she touched him. She took her time exploring him, focusing all of her attention and energy on him and him alone, only studying him as her mind felt at complete ease while her body craved for more, directing her to take more. She wondered how he felt being on the receiving end of such attentions, wondering if he found comfort in it as she did.
She wasn't fully aware she had connected them sexually until she heard her own soft moan, immediately blushing at her own initiation. She hadn't predicted taking it that far all on her own with no direction from Draco. She braced her hands on his chest, pushing herself up more properly as she moved her hips slowly against his above him, closing her eyes as her fingers curled slightly into his flesh. His hands caressed her thighs and she sighed in appreciation, resting her hands over his as she balanced herself, moving her hips back and forth in her painfully slow, deliberate motions. She heard him growl when she didn't attempt to quicken her pace nearly as soon as he apparently wanted, but he still didn't force her to go faster, only meeting her with his own eager movements until she intertwined her fingers with his, pushing his arms up and against the bed as she lowered herself with them. Her back arched over his body as she finally sped up, whimpering at her position change before opening her eyes to meet his, forcing herself to look at him instead of shying away as she wanted to, finding his expression tender with its lust for her. She gasped as her pleasure built, hanging her head to brush under his chin until she was crying out and shuddering, and only then when she was unable to control a proper rhythm on her own did he urge her to give him more and move his hips up to collide with hers in a much more aggressive manner to reach his own climax, holding her there until they were both satisfied.
She dropped herself down on his chest, sliding down one side of it slightly as she nuzzled her nose against the closest skin she could reach in her exhaustion, her body humming, sweet and content. The waves of the effects after the fact did not compare very well to those when Draco has his way, but she still felt more than wonderful and at peace with her thoughts.
At least until the morning when surely she would have to face again what she had run from.