15837: There are dedicated public relations people for a reason! Going off on your own to interact with the public is not always the best idea. Yes this has something to do with a certain museum curator! You're lucky you didn't break the guy with your antics New Jersey! I don't care if you toned it down. Humans are not kanmusu and they break much more easily. This is doubly so for civilians not used to shipgirl shenanigans.
Briggs was a thousand percent done with everything! His last sabbatical was two months ago. A damn near record. And he wasn't keen on breaking it either. So when all four Iowa sisters came in, he sensed an opportunity.
"What can I do for you?" He asked.
"We were hoping you'll still be able to grant us some leave, sir." New Jersey asked.
Briggs considered. The battleship had tentatively asked for a few days some months ago claiming she wanted go up north and show her sisters around Philadelphia and he had granted it barring no major Abyssal issue reared its head. So he saw no reason why he couldn't grant it now.
The four battleships left shortly after and Briggs ignored the chill he got down his spine that often preceded shenanigans. It meant he could exaggerate his reaction and earn himself another "sabbatical". He'd gotten quite good at acting too! Just as long as Wright never found out. So even though he knew the four were going to do something that would make the list, it wasn't going to be his problem.
It was not often realized, given her wisecracking momboat nature and excessive arrogance but New Jersey could be quite the prankster when she wanted to be. So when she learned about the recent move, she sensed an unrivaled opportunity to fuck around.
Iowa was fully involved in her plan while Wisconsin knew some of it. Missouri hadn't been told anything which was an indicator of how naughty New Jersey actually planned on being. And it started with a certain curator.
It had been a long day for one Ryan Szimanski. After the stress of just getting his ship into drydock and all the worry over what work would need to be done, it was somewhat of a relief to have that process complete and behind him.
The fact that it was a long day meant that Ryan merely did a double take when he noticed his coffee mug was not in its usual spot. It wasn't uncommon for him to move from one spot to another and when he got distracted, leave it somewhere. But he could have sworn, even as he stood to retrieve said mug from atop a set of papers, that he had it right next to him. Unseen amongst the overhead beams, the embodiment of New Jersey snickered to herself.
She and her sisters planned this out well in advance. And while there was the obligatory moaning and griping from Missouri once she was let in on the secret, she threw up her hands and went along. New Jersey never doubted she would as she knew underneath that by the book facade, Missouri could be just as unprofessional as Iowa when she wanted to be. The coffee mug was just the start. Poor Ryan had no idea what was in store for him.
New Jersey wasn't being malicious with this prank nor was that her intention. But she was looking to have a little fun with her caretaker. Just because. And the best part was she had the admiral's permission too! Briggs' last words before she left were "have fun"! So have fun she would.
Ryan was working late most days now as he had been since the drydocking. Managing a YouTube channel, never mind the battleship was a full time occupation.
The fact he was working late meant that the clattering outside his office should have been impossible to hear. Last he checked, he was the only one on board at the moment. Hidden safely out of view, Iowa tossed a New Jersey state quarter into the passageway. At the same time, Wisconsin carefully drew steam into her whistles to make a soft high pitched sigh.
The noise got Ryan's attention and when the human made directly for where her sisters were hiding, New Jersey reached up behind her and rattled a pipe. The sudden noise from a completely different direction startled him. Behind New Jersey, Missouri was facepalming even as she killed the power.
Ghosts were not exactly an instantaneous belief for people but since the Abyssals showed up, most were more willing to accept the supernatural. And Ryan was far from immune. The human did the only thing he could do, he ran for it.
Stepping outside revealed it was still daylight thankfully. But it wasn't all good news. A beer can landed at his feet and when he looked up he was treated to the sight of a young woman perched high up in the radar mast. She grinned and waved at him before slowly making her way down.
Ryan was torn between scolding her for being up there and warning her to be careful as she climbed down. He settled for the latter. "Watch your footing. It's a long way down!"
The strawberry blonde grinned at him. "I know what I'm doing, oh fuck…" New Jersey had planned her concluding act perfectly. At just the right moment she let go of her mast and half pushed herself off, causing her to fall to the deck. She deliberately kept her rigging dismissed, trusting on her shipgirl strength to spare her.
Ryan was running even before she hit the deck, convinced he'd just seen a tourist die. But when he got to her she leaped to her feet with a crazy grin. "Surprise!" She sang and he leaped back in shock
New Jersey doubled over laughing. "Your face! You should have seen your fucking face!" She gasped out between giggles.
Another girl, this one a copper redhead, leaped down effortlessly from the fifth level. "I think what she means to say is 'hi, how are you Ryan. Good to see you'!"
"That was fucking textbook!" Said yet another girl, this one a dirty blonde as she walked past from a point somewhere behind Ryan to join the other two. She and the strawberry blonde exchanged high fives.
"I think what all my sisters mean to say," said the last girl. She was darker skinned than the others, was covered in tattoos and her black hair was braided heavily. "Is they're sorry for scaring you as they're supposed to be professional."
"Oh come off it Mo!" Said the blonde. "We all know you're the least professional of all of us off duty."
"And you said the two magic words there, Iowa. Off duty. Which means unlike the three of you I have a sense of decorum." Missouri replied.
"She's got you there Iowa." Wisconsin agreed. "I'm more concerned about the human though. He hasn't said a word since Jersey pulled her suicide stunt."
Ryan was reduced to just staring in shock but he responded when the strawberry blonde pushed back her shades to reveal a pair of icy blue eyes. "Yo, you alright?" She asked.
"I am mostly unharmed if that's what you mean, my dear." He said.
New Jersey grinned. "Aww, hear that girls. He likes me!" She exclaimed.
Ryan sighed, resigned to the fact that his ship's spirit and her sisters were right in front of them. Instead, he wanted to know why they had taken to messing with him like this. "Why all the theatrics?" He asked.
"Because I like you. And I can. And I was bored." New Jersey replied which were probably the three most dangerous things any shipgirl but especially an Iowa could say.
"He's certainly a nice catch sis." Wisconsin said.
"Married to the job too. Even better!" Iowa purred.
"Better snatch him up before one of his adoring fans does." Missouri finished.
"As though I am ever going to take dating advice from any of you!" New Jersey stuck her tongue at them but she advanced on Ryan nonetheless. The male's brain shorted out before he could fully comprehend what she was doing but he didn't object when she slammed him against her own superstructure and tried to take his tonsils out with her tongue. "See you later hot stuff." She purred and was gone, leaping over the side deploying her rigging. Her sisters followed her with Missouri offering him one last pitying glance and muttering why SecNav had given her these three for sisters.
In Norfolk, Wright's peaceful afternoon was shattered when a cry of "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" Came from Briggs' office.
When the secretary ship entered she was treated to the sight of the admiral halfway out the window. "You deal with this! I'm going to Legend." He growled and leaped out.
Sighing even as she ordered a detail to round him up, she made her way to his computer. On it displayed an article freshly posted. The title read "Ship Kisses Curator: A Secret Love Match?" Wright swore she would put New Jersey on kitchen detail for the next three months when the battleship got back. But as she scrolled she amended that to include all the Iowa's.