Somewhere in medieval Britain
November, 506 AD
Merlin and Arthur lounged by the fire in silence while they watched from afar as the knights played Uno in a corner of the room.
Despite the scary situation he finds himself in, the Prince felt a wave of peace breeze over him as he looked at the scene, his eyes tracing Astraea's every movement. A small smile formed on his lips when she suddenly jumped to her feet and threw her arms up in victory while laughing maniacally, the sound reaching his ears and pacifying his soul. Then he felt a pang of guilt in his chest and averted his gaze. He never wants that smile to fade, much less because of him…
Merlin noticed the change in the Prince's demeanour and assured him, "It is going to be fine. Everything will be all right."
"I am just tired," Arthur waved him off and snuck another glance at the knights. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Astra giggling uncontrollably while she leaned against Gwaine, who held a defeated expression as he stared at the improvised table.
"You do not have to sacrifice yourself," Merlin whispered. Even if he knew, almost for certain, that no one would be able to hear because the knights were now too busy teasing Gwaine, who had just been made to take eight cards from the draw pile.
"To save my people," Arthur reminded his servant, who let out a sigh.
"I will take your place," he stated.
The Prince quickly shook his head. "Merlin…"
"What is the life of a servant compared to that of a prince?" Merlin pressed.
Arthur shifted uncomfortably under the question. "Well, a good servant is hard to come by," he joked.
"I am not that good," Merlin commented with a small grin.
"True."
Merlin chuckled under his breath and he let his gaze travel to the knights once more. They'd fallen into an absolute silence as the game intensified, cards shooting out from their hands in consecutive order. He noticed that, yet again, Astra had the least cards left and he smiled, inwardly rooting for her. He found it hard not to, even if she's definitely an arrogant winner. Her bright smile always finds a way to warm his heart.
"One more thing," Arthur added in a whisper, recovering Merlin's attention. "Protect Astraea with your life. I want her to always be happy."
The sorcerer's heart clenched and a lump formed in his throat. He knows that the unsuspecting girl will be completely devastated either way. He still nodded in response, though, not wanting to argue with the Prince about this.
The two boys fell silent and they kept watching the knights as their game continued.
A faint smile formed on Arthur's lips once more as his gaze became fixed on the girl that stole his heart. She seemed so happy in that moment, beaming as she and Gwaine stared expectantly at Elyan, who sat to her other side. Elyan dropped his head and reached for something on the table while Astra high-fived the brunet while the two bursted out laughing.
He felt another wave of peace at the thought that she will be all right without him even as his heart burned, longing for nothing more than to be by her side forever.
Merlin also thought that his sister will be all right, eventually, as he discreetly eyed the Prince. The look of pure adoration that shone in his eyes was enough to let him know that she will be taken care of, and loved, and protected for the rest of her life.
Eventually, they each drifted off to sleep to the sound of knights laughing and playfully arguing.
Arthur woke up before anyone else and he instantly cursed himself mentally for having fallen asleep by the fire. He'd wanted to spend one last night with Astraea in his arms…
He glanced around and looked out a small window, and he noticed that sunrise was only just nearing, meaning that he can still make the most of the few hours he has left in this world. So he quietly stood up and moved towards the corner of the room where he'd seen the younger girl place her things.
His eyes widened and his heart began to race. The sleeping bag was empty, the Avengers blanket was folded messily on top of the duffel bag, and Dallas's equipment was gone.
In a panic, he called out for Merlin.
The sorcerer, along with all the remaining knights, shot up in their spots.
"What?" Merlin asked groggily.
"Astra is gone," Arthur replied as fearful tears pooled in his eyes. He quickly tried to blink them away, not wanting to seem so vulnerable in front of the men, but the tears kept gathering all the same as his heart slammed against his chest.
Merlin rushed towards him, trailed by Lancelot.
Gwaine commanded the rest of the knights to join him in looking for the girl outside the building.
"Did you tell her anything?" Arthur interrogated Merlin in an accusatory tone.
"Of course not!"
"Well, did she hear us yesterday?"
"Hey!" Lancelot ended the conversation and held up a discarded Uno card that he'd found lying atop the Avengers blanket. The pair stepped closer to him. "She figured it out," he stated as he handed Arthur the card.
Arthur frowned at the blue and white item that had two arrows facing away from each other on it. It doesn't mean anything to him, for he's never played the game; but Merlin gulped loudly beside him, which informed him that he knew what it is.
"What does this mean?" the Prince asked.
"Reverse card," Merlin mumbled as dread struck his chest, causing his body to start trembling, and a stray tear streamed down his cheek. "She deduced what we were planning to do and has gone to turn the game around."
Lancelot felt his stomach churn and Arthur felt as if the world was starting to crumble around him, his breathing growing laboured.
"Dallas is gone, too!" a frantic Gwaine announced as he returned to the chamber.
"Let us go! We need to catch up to her!" Arthur ordered before quickly moving to pack Astra's things.
Guilt clawed at my intestines as Dallas and I galloped across the moors.
I didn't say goodbye to anyone. Not even a hint of it. I didn't want to risk them realising what I'm about to do, or they would've tried to stop me. But Arthur and Merlin were planning to jump into the frying pan without saying anything either, so I think that it's at least a bit poetic that I left this way. Isn't it?
I pushed aside the haunting thought that I didn't get to tell Arthur and Merlin that I love them one last time.
'Everybody wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always roll that way.'
I arrived at my final destination about two hours after I set off.
I really wish that the circumstances were different, 'cause I would've loved to snap a picture of my surroundings. A thick layer of mist covered the waters of the lake that surrounds the Isle of the Blessed – a small rocky isle with a castle that reminded me a bit of Mont St. Michel, only that it's fairly smaller.
I let out a sigh before hopping off Dallas, and I hurried to untack him so he'd be comfortable.
I rested my forehead against his and took in a few deep inhales, breathing in his calming horse-y scent for the last time while trying to keep the sobs that threatened to shake my body at bay. "They'll get here eventually and they'll take care of you, okay?" I whispered.
I really wish I had more time with Dallas. He seriously means the world to me. The light of my life. But I can't stop to savour my last moments with him. Not if I wanna save my boys. So I pressed a kiss to his muzzle and didn't dare to look back as I climbed down the slope.
I placed a tentative foot in the water. It was cold. Freezing. But I can't stop to worry about that. What difference does it make if I get hypothermia again, if I'm gonna die anyway?
I was about to resign to just swimming, but I caught a glimpse of a wooden structure hidden in some bushes. A boat!
Grinning slightly, I went towards it and pulled it out. I was grateful to find two oars inside. I hopped in and pulled my phone and earbuds from my pocket, figuring that I could have some fun on my journey to the other side and play the Avengers theme music. Nothing can make me feel as empowered as that and, as my body trembles with fear, I know that empowerment is exactly what I need.
I gulped when I noticed some wyverns flying overhead as I got closer to the isle. But either they didn't spot me, or they didn't think me a worthy breakfast. Which is definitely great. I didn't pull this stunt only to get killed by miniature dragons before I can finish my quest.
Still shaking, I stepped onto the rock-covered isle and made my way inside the rundown castle that makes up most of it, using my phone's flashlight to illuminate the way.
I don't care who sees it, now. I'm dead anyway.
After a few minutes, I entered a bigger chamber that was lit by a bunch of candles. The flames caused shadows to dance in the stone walls, and a smoky aroma filled the air. Towards the back of the room was a scary black swirl. That must be the portal! Should I just... jump towards it? Does someone need to carve out my heart, first? Do I need to set myself on fire? I've never done this before...
My contemplative thoughts were interrupted when a figure in black suddenly materialised before me. I gasped and jumped backwards, slipping and falling on my butt. My eyes widened as they scanned the being. It wore a dark cloak. Not 'it' but 'she', I realised when I looked upwards. An elderly woman with long, straight, frizzy white hair, and deathly pale skin. A smirk played on her near-grey lips as her dull eyes stared down at me.
"A-are you, like… a reaper?" I dared to ask in a squeak after a few moments.
Her smirk grew. "You must be the girl out of time."
Why the heck does everyone seem to know that!?
"Yup… That's me," I said with an awkward wave and scrambled to my feet. "You can call me Astra, though."
"What brings you here, Astra?"
"Well, you want a sacrifice in exchange for closin' the darn portal, right?" I questioned.
"That is right."
"Okay, so here I am," I responded and dropped my sword before shakily stepping closer to her.
I'm doing this for Merlin and Arthur. I'm doing this for Merlin and Arthur. I'm doing this for Merlin and Arthur.
To my huge shock, the woman shook her head before replying, "I cannot take you."
I recoiled and frowned for a second before composing myself. "I know, I'm too young, or whatever. They don't call it a sacrifice for nothin'," I noted and crossed my arms as I gave her the best challenging look I could muster. My heart pounded wildly in my chest and my knees trembled, but I refused to back down. "C'mon, do it already," I insisted as I took another step forward.
"You were brave to come here, but I am afraid your journey has been in vain," she replied.
"No, c'mon," I protested. "A sacrifice is a sacrifice."
She shook her head.
What might I be lacking that is required to be an acceptable sacrifice?! I'm a virgin and everything!
"Is it because I'm a girl?" I inquired. "Because that's mighty sexist of you."
Silence.
"Just... stab me, or whatever, and get it over with!"
What do I have to do?! I don't know how much time I have before the team inevitably shows up!
She shook her head again.
"Really? Are you gonna make me beg for death? You get off on that?" I challenged. Still no response. "'Cause I can be really persuasive, y'know? Ask anyone."
"There is nothing you can do to persuade me," she assured me.
I scoffed. We'll see about that…
I looked around as I tried to think of something to do. My eyes landed on the portal again and I figured that I can just jump into it and pray it's not too painful. So I dashed past her, only to be sent flying backwards when I collided with an invisible force. I groaned when I landed on my side.
"I command the portal. It will not take you unless I want it to," the woman said.
"Darn," I muttered and I stood up again.
I unsheathed my sword and ran to attack her, but the blade passed right through her arm when I slashed at it. As if she were made of vapour. I frowned and dropped the weapon before flailing my arms in frustration. The b*tch only eyed me with amusement.
Now what?
Well, I have a PhD in being annoying, right? I can pull a Doctor Strange versus Dormammu and annoy her into killing me!
I winked at her and grinned proudly at my own idea before walking out of the chamber. I took in a deep breath, turned around, and walked back in.
"Reaper lady, I've come to bargain!"
She raised an unimpressed eyebrow and crossed her arms.
"That's fine, I didn't expect it to work the first time," I stated before walking out again, then back in.
"Reaper lady, I've come to bargain!"
"I am not going to bargain with you, Astra," she responded in an eerily calm voice.
"C'mon, it's like you don't even wanna cooperate!" I whined and repeated my actions.
"Reaper lady, I've come to bargain!"
"You are going to wear yourself out before you can wear me down," the woman claimed.
"Nah, I don't think so," I responded with a smirk. "This is how things are now. You and me, trapped in this moment, endlessly."
She rolled her eyes and I huffed before trying again.
I will not bore you with more details because I really did do it over and over again. I must've lost count by the thirtieth time. And after what must've been half-an-hour, I began to grow hopeless. And also, I admit, a little annoyed myself at the situation.
Anxiety wrapped around my lungs like thorny vines. I need to seal the deal before the boys get here!
I racked my brain for any other things I could do to persuade her.
"All right, what if I kill myself?" I suggested as I began to pace the room. "Would you take pity on me and take the sacrifice?"
"No."
"Really? Or are you just sayin' that 'cause you don't want me to do it?" All I got was a pointed look. I bit my lip and groaned. "Is it because I'm from the future? Do you need a soul that fits with your timeline?"
"You are not meant to die today, Astra," the woman replied.
"That's a stupid reason!" I exclaimed. I tugged on the strings of my hoodie as frustration filled me. "Seriously, if I hear one more word about what's meant to be and what isn't, I'm gonna stab someone!"
A taunting smirk formed on the woman's lips again, which only increased my rage.
"Y'know what? I can't hurt you, I'm gonna stab you," I said before picking up my sword and running her through. Of course, it had no effect, but it was strangely satisfying. "Can you just play dead for a second and let me have this?" I asked. She simply narrowed her eyes at me. "Tough crowd," I mumbled as I threw my sword aside and I continued to pace.
My body jolted when I suddenly heard the shrieking of the wyverns outside, followed by metal clanging. My heart-rate quickened to an alarming speed and my breathing grew shallow at the realisation that my time is up.
"Please, I'm begging you, you have to take me now!" I screamed at the reaper woman as I jumped towards her, foolishly attempting to punch her as desperation exploded within me. She remained unmoving. "Please, I'll do anything! I'll become your reaper servant!" I started throwing rocks at her. Anything to snap her out of her calm persona and kill me! But I got no reaction other than a pointed look. "Please. Kill me. Do it!" Tears began to fall from my eyes uncontrollably. "I can't lose them. Please, just take me!"
"Astraea!" I heard Arthur's voice bouncing against the walls of the castle.
My body started shaking with sobs at the realisation that I can't stop it and I fell onto my knees as my legs gave out.
I can't save them.
Strong arms wrapped around me. I buried my face in the crook of Arthur's neck and clung to him for dear life as I cried harder than I ever have. He can't sacrifice himself if I don't let go.
"Please don't do it. You can't leave me," I begged in between sobs and laboured breaths. He tightened his grip around me and I could feel his accelerated heart-rate. "There has to be another way. Please. I don't wanna live without you."
"It is not often we have visitors," the reaper woman finally relearned how to speak. "Astra kindly kept me company for a while."
I turned my head to look at her with the deadliest glare I could conjure up while my eyes continued to serve as waterfalls.
"Put an end to this," Arthur said in an authoritative voice. "I demand you heal the tear between the two worlds."
"It was not I who created this horror. Why should it be I that stops it?" the woman questioned.
"Because innocent people are dying," I heard Merlin answer.
No, he can't be here too! I can only cling to one person!
"Indeed," the woman replied, then she cackled like a freaking hyena.
A fiery rage suddenly burned in my stomach, consuming the anguish.
I pushed away from Arthur and lunged at the woman again with a growl. This time, she fought back and I was sent flying across the room. I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and I fell to the ground, hearing a crack as I landed.
My ears began to ring and my eyes darted around as I tried to make sense of the blurry world around me.
"Astra!" I heard multiple distorted voices call out.
I whimpered a little as I fought to keep a grip on my senses while black spots began to swarm my vision.
But soon, the darkness won out.
The first thing I became aware of was something cold pressed against my forehead. Next came a warm hand holding mine while caressing it gently. Then I felt the dirty ground below my back and the faint sun rays hitting my face. I groaned when I noticed a burning headache.
"Astra," a soft male voice whispered as another warm hand touched my cheek. Arthur.
I forced my eyes to open, only to have to close them again when a blinding light hit them.
"Come on, darling, you have to wake up," Arthur pressed, sounding a bit more desperate.
I willed myself to open my eyes once more, then I blinked rapidly as I tried to adjust to the light.
My gaze found Arthur's dazzling eyes and I felt a smile instantly curve my lips. "Artie," I croaked out.
He let out a sigh of relief and pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead before calling out, "Merlin, she is awake!"
My brother soon appeared beside Arthur, making me release a long sigh that relaxed my body.
They're both okay!
Was the creepy reaper lady just a nightmare?!
Darn, my brain is getting more creative!
I tried to sit up, only for Merlin to put a hand on my shoulder and gently push me back down. "Not so fast. You hit your head pretty hard."
Well, that explains the pain. Did I fall off my bed? Or did I fall off Dallas? Where the heck are we?
Maybe it wasn't a nightmare! Maybe they struck a deal?! Oh, fork! Is this gonna be some John Winchester crap where one of them's suddenly gonna die now that they've made sure I'm alive?! Did we all die and somehow make it into heaven together?! Am I dreaming and my body's still in that dark place?!
Or... did someone else take the plunge?
"Hey, breathe!" Merlin demanded and he splashed a bit of water at my face.
I inhaled sharply and clutched Arthur's hand.
"What happened?" I asked.
The two boys shared a sad look that caused me to hold my breath again.
Merlin sighed. "Lancelot... he... uh," He trailed off and averted his gaze as tears formed in his eyes.
I felt as if a truckload of bricks had been dumped on me. Lancelot took the plunge!?
"No! No, he can't be gone!" I protested and forced myself to sit up again. I realised that we were in a makeshift campsite somewhere in the British moors. It was close to sunset, and several sleeping bags were laid out around a campfire that hadn't been lit yet. I counted the sleeping bags. Only seven.
My vision blurred as I turned back to face the boys. Merlin was silently crying, and Arthur seemed to be trying very hard not to.
"H-he offered himself up while we were checking on you," Arthur explained.
No! If I hadn't gotten so worked up and ran at the reaper woman… This is all my fault!
"I couldn't save him," I whispered as sobs began to shake my body again.
Arthur quickly wrapped his arms around my torso and he pulled me onto his lap to hold me tightly against his chest.
"Gwaine? Perci? El? Lee?" I inquired in between whimpers.
"They went to gather firewood, they are all right," Arthur whispered. I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes while nuzzling into his chest, and I continued to let the tears fall while clinging to him.
A funeral service was held for Lancelot when we returned to Camelot. To save you the long, depressing details – it was hell. People talked, people cried, Gwen broke down in Merlin's arms, the knights all seemed deflated...
I, on the other hand, felt numb. I guess it's better than feeling guilt clawing at me until I bleed out from the inside, but it's still not a pleasant sensation. If I hadn't been so emotional, I could've acted rationally and somehow convinced the reaper to take me. Instead of playing Doctor Strange, I could've come up with a better plan to solve this. Now I've caused a huge tear in the fabric of Camelot. One that can never be repaired.
Maybe I should've stayed in Texas.
A knock on my door broke me out of my thoughts. I paused my music and hid my phone under my pillow. "Yeah?" I called out weakly.
I really don't have the energy to be around people at the moment.
The wooden portal opened and in came the handsome Prince of Camelot. My heart reacted by skipping a beat and spreading a drop of giddiness through my bloodstream, pacifying the monster of guilt for a moment. Okay, perhaps I can spare some energy for some people.
However, his stern expression caused my intestines to twist.
Oh, great, here comes the talk.
I turned on my stomach to bury my face in my Spider-Man pillow. "Can't this wait 'til my head's no longer a piggy-bank?" I mumbled against it.
Apparently, I almost died from the blow I received, but Merlin saved me with his special abilities as soon as Arthur became distracted with the whole Lancelot situation, and all I have left is a small bruised scratch on the nape of my neck.
"I do not know what that means, Astra," Arthur said softly.
I felt the mattress shift and I turned my head to find him sitting next to me, his stormy eyes scanning my figure. I reached for his hand and made him lie down beside me as soon as he surrendered it. Then I moved to lay partly on top of him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck while one of my hands fisted his shirt over his shoulder and the other remained in his grip, resting over his heart. I hooked a leg around one of his, wanting to feel as close to him as possible. His free hand began to rub gentle circles on my back.
I kinda wish I could handcuff myself to him and never leave his side again. But that would be inconvenient considering that there are some awkward bodily functions that are best taken care of in solitude… And I wouldn't be able to ride…
"What were you thinking?" he finally spoke up after a few silent minutes.
"I could ask you the same thing," I whispered in response.
"You left without saying goodbye... I thought I had lost you..." His voice broke towards the end and he gulped.
"Would it have been any different for me if I hadn't figured it out?" I questioned, still keeping my voice low as my heart-rate sped up again at the thought.
"I would not have run off in the middle of the night," Arthur argued.
"It wasn't the middle of the night, just an hour or two before sunrise," I mumbled.
He scoffed and kissed the side of my head. "You know what I mean, my love."
"Well, I'm not sorry," I stated. "I'd do it again. I would do anything to protect you or Merls."
I'm only sorry that Lancelot had to pay the price of my impulsiveness.
My bottom lip began to tremble as flashbacks of everything that has happened since Halloween flooded my mind and I pressed myself even closer to him, hoping that his warmth, and his scent, and the feeling of his chest rising and falling against my own would make the thoughts go away.
"I do not want to lose you, either, Astra," Arthur whispered as he wrapped his arm fully around me and his grip on my hand tightened.
"Well, then next time don't keep stuff from me, n' we might be able to find a solution that doesn't involve losing anyone," I grumbled.
"There will not be a 'next time'," he claimed.
I sighed. "Let's pray you're right."
The conversation died after that and we soon fell asleep.