Somewhere in medieval Britain

April, 508 AD

[warning: non-graphic death of an animal]

"Oh, goody. Here we go again," I grumbled as I stepped out of the farmhouse to find an unimpressed Merlin and a puzzled Gwaine standing on the front porch.

"Is this another memory?" the knight wondered as he looked around with a furrowed brow.

Autumn had claimed my Uncle's property. The leaves on the trees were mostly orange in colour, with some browns and yellows sprinkled in between. The ground was slightly damp, indicating that it had rained recently, and there was a slight chill in the atmosphere. There were no cars parked outside, suggesting that Kelly and Gustab were both at work. But there really weren't any clues that could tell me if I was reliving a memory again, or actually dreaming this time.

"Not sure," I answered Gwaine's question.

"You have got to stop falling asleep," Merlin commented.

"Thanks for your feedback," I responded with an eye-roll before going down the steps and beginning to walk towards the horse paddocks. Perhaps I can get an idea of when we are by looking at the horses living in the property. Both boys followed me.

As I neared the fenced field, I could hear some distressed whinnies. My heart turned upside down and I sped up.

Soon, I was able to spot Dallas in the distance, standing next to a grey horse that was lying down.

Skylo.

"No no no no no," spewed out of my mouth and I tried to turn around and go back, but my body was on autopilot again. "Not this. Please. Anything but this." My breathing got heavy and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest.

"What is happening, Trae?" Gwaine inquired as he looked down at me with concern.

"It is a memory," I informed him in a whisper before a sob racked my body.

I fell to my knees beside the grey Thoroughbred, my body shaking uncontrollably as I looked him up and down. I knew I wasn't gonna miss the way in which his back leg stuck out in an unnatural, distorted manner; and I doubled over when my eyes landed on that, pressing my forehead against the side of his head as I brought it up to rest on my lap.

"Wake up. Please wake up," I begged myself.

I don't want to relive what comes next.

Merlin stepped up beside me and he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. I was quick to cover it with one of my own and I leaned my cheek against it as tears continued to pour from my eyes.

Dr. Peña, a woman I remember much more clearly than I wish I did, soon approached us while carrying an I.V. bag and a big, loaded syringe. I looked up at her as an evil version of Mjölnir struck at my heart and I pulled Skylo's head closer to my chest, running my trembling fingers through his dark grey mane.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Aphelion. I wish there was something we could do, but you know how these things are," she said with an apologetic smile. "And it would be inhumane to prolong his suffering."

"I know," I whispered weakly. "Just get it over with."

The vet promptly began setting up the I.V. while Merlin and Gwaine kneeled down next to me. The sorcerer held me tightly against his chest while I fell apart crying.

He's too young! He deserved a long, full life!

"She is trembling really badly," I heard my brother whisper, presumably to Gwaine.

The knight placed a hand on my arm. "You have to wake up, Trae."

"This is not real, remember?" Merlin added softly.

Skylo's breathing grew shallow and his big brown eye looked up at me, then he blinked once, then he closed his eye.

"What do you mean?! It's real! He's gone!" I said in between sobs.

"Wake up, Astra," Merlin said more sternly as he tightened his grip on me.

I would've responded, but I was too busy trying to stop the internal bleeding of my every cell as the vet stood up and gave me a sympathetic smile before walking away.

"We are coming to get you. You cannot be here anymore," my brother said after a few moments.

Here?

The ruined house... Morgana... My stupid quest to try to end the war between her and Arthur.

"No. Not yet!"

Loud screech.

I gasped and I was suddenly surrounded by darkness once more. My body shook with an earthquake that could bring down the entirety of New York and my head pounded with a terrible headache as I struggled to catch my breath. I clenched my fists and took a deep breath, ignoring the sour and smoky smell that had definitely increased in the time I was asleep as I focused on regulating my breathing.

'Astra?'

'Trae?'

'I'm fine. It was just a bad dream.'

'I thought you did not have nightmares anymore,' Merlin noted disapprovingly.

'Well, it's been a long time. But I guess it's not too surprising considering the darkness, and the stress, and the cold, and...' my mental monologue drifted off when Arthur popped up in my mind.

'Of course. You cannot sleep well without your husband,' Gwaine teased.

'Shut up,' I grumbled.

'You are embarrassing,' Merlin piled on.

'It's his fault. Take it up with him when we get back.'

'He has turned into quite the lovesick fool as well,' my brother commented and a series of images of Arthur looking like a drooling idiot flashed through my mind. From Merlin's perspective, obviously; considering the exaggerated, almost cartoonish alterations to the King's handsome features.

My stomach complained about the lack of food in it before I could extract more information.

'Guys, I'm hungry.'

'Do you want us to get you out?' Gwaine asked.

'No. Let's give 'em more time.'

"I am getting tired of getting pulled into your dreams," Merlin groaned as he looked at our newest dreamland-produced setting: the backseat of a small car that had me sandwiched in the middle of my two greatest friends. It was a Mercedes-Benz, I noted when I leaned forwards to glance at the front half of it and saw the logo on the wheel.

My eyes travelled upwards to find Marie in the driver's seat, then I glanced to the other side and found a dark-skinned teenage guy. I recognised him, too. That was Mick – one of my so-called-friend's conquests that lasted only a week. I looked past them and to the exterior of the car and saw that we were on the highway towards the city of San Antonio.

Yup, another memory.

"Seriously, what's wrong with my brain today?" I grumbled as I leaned backwards on my seat and let out a long, frustrated sigh.

Gwaine seemed freaked out as his eyes darted around, and Merlin didn't seem much calmer.

"Chill, it's just a car," I pointed out with a weak chuckle before leaning forwards and looking at the dashboard. "Aaaand we're going at a hundred-n'-sixty kilometres per hour."

My breath hitched in my throat once more as I looked up at the mischievous smirk on Marie's face.

"You might wanna try slowing down," I told her in a low tone.

"Live a little, Astra!" she responded cheerily as she stepped harder on the gas.

165...

170...

180...

"Yes, I wanna live! Which is why you should ease up!" I argued, raising my voice a little this time as my heart pounded on my chest.

We blazed past the other cars as we barrelled down the road, the highway night lights and taillights flashing in a dizzying manner as we drove by them at a ridiculous speed.

185...

190...

In the blink of an eye, she took one hand off the wheel and brought it backwards to carelessly smack the front of my face, making me recoil with a yelp. She giggled as she gripped the wheel once more and pressed harder on the accelerator.

195...

200...

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" Gwaine roared as he lunged forwards, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"She can't see ya', remember?"

"Chillax. We're just havin' fun," Mick said and he breathed out a chuckle as he glanced at the side mirror. "We've already left the others far behind!"

"Marie – please, stop!" I kept trying, ignoring Mick's words as my breathing grew laboured and my eyes teared up.

"Astra, Astra," Merlin gripped my hand and I turned to look at him. "You are not really here, remember? It is just a bad dream."

I nodded. Right. I lost sight of that for a second.

"It feels so real, though," I whispered while still warily eyeing the teenage girl in the driver's seat.

He let go of my hand to wrap his arms around my torso and he pulled me closer to him. "I know. But try to relax. No one is going to hurt you, I promise."

I bolted up at the sound of a creaking door and a streak of light suddenly hit my face. I squinted my eyes as I blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the unexpected illumination as a figure passed through the threshold.

Morgana.

A strange smile played on her lips. It seemed rehearsed. Disingenuous. Which was given away by the darkened gaze that regarded me in a calculated manner.

"Oh, dear Astra, have you been crying?" she asked as she kneeled down next to me.

"No. Crying's for babies," I mumbled as I quickly wiped at my face with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

I froze when she put an ice-cold hand on my cheek.

'Be careful, Trae,' Gwaine thought. 'We are coming to you.'

'Not yet. I wanna see what she does or says. Please.'

"I am sorry, darling," she said softly, making me flinch a little. That's Arthur's word! "If I had known you would be so scared in here, I would have come sooner."

"What?! No! I'm not scared!" I protested as I straightened up a little, forcing her to drop her hand. "I just had a bad dream. I'm fine."

"You do not have to pretend with me, Astra. Not if we are going to be allies," she said, keeping her tone soft while smirking slightly.

I frowned and tilted my head as hope rose within me. "Really? You're gonna help me change Artie's mind?"

Her friendly demeanour dissipated and rage flashed through her eyes again, making me recoil. In another second, the eerie smile was back and she sighed – clearly frustrated – before standing up.

"I just need a little more time to think. Is that all right? Can you wait here a little longer?" she asked.

I huffed. I don't love the idea, obviously. But she is trying to cooperate, so the least I can do is do the same.

"Sure," I mumbled, letting my shoulders drop in resignation. "D'ya have anything to eat, though? I'm starvin'."

'Astra!' Merlin scolded in my mind. 'She could try to poison you!'

'If she was gonna try to kill me, she would've done it already.'

"Of course. I will send Thanata up with something," she responded before heading towards the door.

'Well, look at that! She's still capable of being nice.'

'I do not trust her,' Gwaine stated.

With a sigh, I scooted backwards, seeking to lean my back against the wall.

My nervous system froze over when my eyes caught on something with a flash of light just as the witch closed the door and the room became dark once more.

From the ceiling hung a series of anthropomorphic witchy thingies. My eyes widened and the air was knocked out of my lungs as I recalled the time when Morgana used something like that on Uther in an attempt to break his mind.

'Those are Mandrake roots, Astra!' Merlin cried in my mind.

A loud screeching sound almost broke my eardrums and I cowered while placing my hands over my ears, but that did nothing to drown it out.

I gasped for air. 'Oh, fork! She's trying to Winter Soldier me!'

'We are coming to get you!'

The screeching did not stop.

'Yes, please.'

My breathing began to get heavier as the ear-piercing sound continued without mercy. In fact, I think it got louder. I pulled on my hood and brought my knees to my chest, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to think of anything but the noise that was making me want to stab myself.

'Do not stab yourself, Trae!' Gwaine yelled in my mind.

'Morgana is after me, Gwaine is on his way to you,' Merlin added.

I rocked my body back and forth, willing myself to be patient until the knight showed up as the screeching kept going.

My eyelids suddenly seemed to weigh a tonne and I toppled sideways, groaning a little at the impact. I tried to fight the sleepiness that came over me. Key word – tried; because my body wasn't cooperating.

Coughing seemed to be the only thing I could do as a big cloud of black smoke surrounded me, accompanied by a bone-scorching heat that penetrated my insides with a rabid fury. My eyes teared up because of the added gasses in the atmosphere and I tried to look around, but I couldn't make out anything other than fire.

I tried to push myself up with my arms, but I soon found that one of them wasn't responding quite like I wanted it to. It felt almost numb. My lungs were constrained. I whimpered at a sharp pain in my abdomen. My eyes travelled downwards and I saw a huge chunk of metal lying on top of me.

Instinctively, I tried to call out for my parents, but only a gasp came out as the pain in my torso intensified under the effort and another whimper left me. It's like I'm being torn apart by a hellhound! Even breathing hurt as the rise and fall of my chest caused whatever injury I had to scream in protest!

Some of the smoke was forced away by a gust of wind and I let my eyes dart around once more. I wish I hadn't. Some metres away from me lay a blonde woman, her hair straight and long. She rested on her side, and had a big gash on her forehead with blood trickling down her face.

"Mommy," I whispered and tried to move towards her. But the attempt was useless as my body didn't have the strength to lift whatever was pinning me to the pavement.

"Mommy!" I screamed this time, trying to ignore the unforgiving pain that shot through my abdomen again; but it made me cry out all the same as sobs began to shake my whole being – which only made everything a thousand times more painful.

The woman remained still.

My vision started to blur as black spots invaded it.

"Trae, come on, you have to wake up!"

I could faintly hear sirens. Red, blue and white lights flashed through the smoke.

"None of this is real!"

I think I'm gonna die.

I finally allowed my eyes to close as whatever was pinning me to the ground was removed.

A loud clattering sound blended in with the unintelligible chatter of a bunch of people dressed in dark blue as my body was moved and placed onto a firm-but-soft surface.

"Oh, Shadow. You are not so powerful without Emrys, are you?" I was able to make out a taunting female voice with a British accent.

More clanging followed, then a maniacal laughter rang through the highway.

Emrys?

Wait – Merlin!

'Astraea – please!' a desperate voice echoed through my mind this time.

Gwaine!

I'm not a three-year-old on her way to the hospital! I'm a knight of Camelot on a quest! A stupid quest!

My eyes opened and I found Thanata standing with her back to me and a raised arm. She was pinning a knight in full armour to a wall as a big smirk formed on her lips. I spotted a discarded sword near me and quickly darted to grab it, ignoring the dizziness that slightly hindered my body.

The witch's concentration broke as she turned to me, and the knight – Gwaine, of course! – fell to the ground with a loud clang.

"The Shadow was coming to kill you. You are lucky I got here on time," she said with an innocent grin.

I let out a humourless chuckle. "Right, 'cause ya' care about me so much."

I lunged at her, my stolen weapon barely missing her arm as she moved out of the way. Thanata unsheathed a sword of her own and met my next strike.

"I thought you wanted an alliance!" she raised her voice at me while swiping again, this time more forcefully, and I quickly realised that my strength was running dangerously low as I struggled to counter it.

"I was hoping that you did, too! But I was a f*cking idiot!" I responded.

A fiery flash crossed her eyes and she lunged at me with all her might this time, knocking me backwards onto the floor. Only, she didn't count on Gwaine recovering quickly and he grabbed her arm before her sword could collide with my chest; then he forced it out of her hands.

My eyes widened as she spoke a quick spell that sent my friend flying backwards, with her sword still in his hand.

She was fast to pull a dagger out from under her sleeve. I tried to move out of the way, but my weakened body wasn't able to evade the strike that came next. I cried out as a searing pain spread through my thigh. I bit down on my bottom lip to restrain any more sounds.

Gwaine suddenly appeared behind her and he hit the back of her head with the pommel of her own sword. She instantly fell unconscious and I looked up at my friend as black dots began to cloud my vision again.

'Trae, you stubborn kid,' he muttered through the telepathic link as he ripped off a piece of the hoodie he was wearing before kneeling down next to me.

I attempted to give him a grin, but I'm sure it looked more like a grimace as I struggled to keep my eyes open, reality turning blurry.

'I am going to pull the dagger out, all right?' he asked softly.

With a sharp inhale, I bit harder on my lip to brace myself for the increase in pain that was sure to come, and I nodded.

"I am sorry, sweetheart," he whispered as he placed one hand on the handle, then he glanced at my eyes for a second and gave me a quick nod.

I covered my mouth with my arm and bit down on the sleeve of my hoodie to muffle out a cry, reducing it to a whimper, when more pain shot through my entire leg. Gwaine was quick to press the piece of cloth against it while repeatedly mumbling apologies and I let my head drop to his chest as my body fought my grip on consciousness.

He swiftly tied the strip around my leg to keep the pressure on and then he lifted me into his arms just as I gave way to sleep once more.

A big sigh of relief left me when the pain in my leg decreased significantly as my brother spoke some magic words over the stab wound.

He grunted and squeezed his eyes shut for a second, causing worry to strike at me as the golden sparks around the injury faded.

"Merlin? Are you all right?" Gwaine asked, instantly moving to the sorcerer's side and placing a hand on his shoulder.

He rolled his shoulders backwards for a moment and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. All this magic has worn me down. That is all."

I averted my gaze towards the campfire as guilt squeezed my chest. I knew all along that my plan was stupid and hopeless, but I pressed to go through with it anyway; risking the lives of my brother and my best friend, and causing them a lot of discomfort and great distress. I can only hope that they will allow themselves to be angry at me over this, because I totally deserve as much rage as they can give me.

My eyes travelled to my brother's face again and I gulped as they met his blue irises.

"I'm sorry, Merls," I whispered, my voice weak and raspy from how much I've been crying, coupled with the slight dehydration I'm facing.

"I know you are," he mumbled as he moved to sit down next to me, and he draped an arm over my shoulders.

A sob shook me once more as the tears that had remained pooled in my eyes escaped. "You were right, I should've listened to you. I'm an idiot."

"You are not an idiot. You wanted to save someone who was once your friend," Merlin responded while tightening his grip on me. "No one can fault you for trying."

"I could've gotten you both killed!" I argued, raising my tone only a little because I didn't have the energy to express how truly mortified I felt as I continued to cry like a loser baby.

"We are fine, Trae," Gwaine assured me while placing a hand on my knee, then he exchanged a look with Merlin that I didn't understand.

"Yeah, you are the one who got stabbed," my brother pointed out.

"Well, I deserved it," I pointed out.

"Astra! How can you say that!" I flinched as Merlin raised his voice, a bewildered look appearing on his face. I quickly recovered from the slight startle and gave him a nonchalant shrug, not having the energy to explain that it was the consequence of my own stupidity.

Gwaine gave him a stern look before gazing down at me. "Go to sleep, kid. Arthur will kill us if we get you back to Camelot looking like that."

Something tugged at my heart at the mention of Arthur and I took a deep breath, surprised to find that the tears finally stopped coming with that; and I snorted at my friend's words, knowing that he raised a good point. Not about me going to sleep. I don't think I'll be able to do that anytime soon. But about my appearance. I'm sure I look like a starved rat who's just been dragged through the floor of a slaughterhouse. I don't want to confirm those thoughts by opening the front camera in my phone, though. I'd rather leave it to my imagination.

"We can just tell 'em I caught a cold," I suggested with a shrug.

"Is your leg all right?" Merlin asked as he and Gwaine helped me up the back staircase that leads to the royal apartments.

We're trying to get to my room undetected so that I can clean up before Arthur sees the state I'm in. My brother magically repaired most of the damage, but he still left a scratch and a bruise. Partly because he grew weary, thanks to all the strain I put on him; but mostly because we need something to justify the tear in my riding leggings, in case anyone sees it. I washed off the blood in a creek.

"Hasn't fallen off, yet," I responded with a small, forced smirk.

"I worry about your sanity, sometimes," my brother stated.

"Yeah, you probably should."

As is often the case, we didn't actually manage to make it to my room undetected because we spotted Arthur leaning against the door, a faraway look in his eyes as he stared straight ahead.

My body overpowered my mind out of pure instinct and I broke off my friends' grips as I took off sprinting to my king, ignoring the slight pain that remained in my thigh.

"Easy, Trae!" Gwaine scolded with a gasp.

In my defence, I did warn them that I wouldn't hold back if we happened to come across him.

Arthur's head shot our way in a second and he readily caught me in his arms when I got to him, picking me up as he embraced me tightly. I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and nuzzled into the crook of his neck while my legs secured themselves around his waist.

I finally felt like I could truly breathe again, even as I started to tremble when the emotional dam broke and I began to cry again.

"Astra – what happened?!" Arthur asked in alarm.

"Nothing, I just missed you like hell," I responded and took a deep breath, inhaling his manly scent as I tried to compose myself.

He gently cupped my face with one hand and lifted my head off his neck, moving it to where he could look me in the eyes. My heart became an active Formula 1 car as his gaze carefully scanned me.

I still haven't looked in a mirror or front camera, but I'm certain I look like crap that has been stepped on by a marching band. One doesn't recover from significant blood loss in a single night.

"What happened?" he asked again, this time more sternly.

"She came down with a cold, Sire," Gwaine quickly jumped into the conversation with the cover story we settled on.

I sighed and nuzzled back into Arthur's neck when he released my head.

"We had to spend two nights at an Inn while she got past a fever," Merlin added.

"We never even made it to the village Gaius sent us to," the knight continued.

"She would not stop whining until we got her back to you," the sorcerer topped it off.

Arthur's grip on me tightened. "Why did not you send for me?! " he asked, sounding slightly angry.

I grinned a little as I heard my brother stammer. He can act!

"H-her life was never in any danger! We didn't want you to worry!" he sputtered out.

"Well, you two are dismissed. I have got her," the King growled as he started to walk. I didn't even try to get him to put me down as I continued to cling to him like a koala does to a tree. "Send Gaius as soon as possible. I want him to look her over."

"No, I'm fine!" I instantly protested. I know that the physician would see right through our lies and I don't want to deal with his disappointment. We also lied to him about what we were really doing, you see. "I just need a bath n' sleep."

"She really is fine. I treated her," Merlin backed me up.

Arthur huffed, but didn't argue further.