Camelot
October, 508 AD
A strange dream in which my brain decided to throw me into 'Jurassic Park' with the cast of 'Teen Wolf' ended abruptly when a bouncy movement disturbed my body and caused my eyes to open. I found Arthur lying next to me, a contemplative look on his handsome features as his enchanting eyes scanned my face.
"'Sup," I greeted, not moving an inch from the comfortable position I was in – lying on my stomach with my hands under my pillow.
Arthur reached to remove some strands of hair from my face and I was instantly confused at the realisation that my hair was loose. Then I thought back to the events of last night (or parts of them, I guess, 'cause the last clear memory I have is being tortured by Gwen…) and I was able to vaguely recall taking a bath and then... nothing. I guess Arthur must've gotten me into bed.
"How are you feeling, my love?" he asked gently while caressing my cheek.
I instantly leaned into his touch and put a hand on top of his to keep it in place. I've missed him. I can't remember the last time we were near each other for anything other than sleeping or working on kingdom stuff. 'Cause I've been super busy playing detective. 'Cause, y'know, Aithusa is missing.
I quickly sat up and unwrapped myself from my Avengers blanket. The room started to spin and I faltered for a moment. Or several. Then I noticed, from the sun's position outside, that it was well past midday and I scrambled to get up, ignoring the slightly nauseated feeling that raised in my throat.
"Woah, where are you going?" Arthur asked while catching my arm and gently pulling me back onto the bed, his eyes showing concern.
"I have to get to work!" I responded while fighting his hold. A battle that was useless because he easily overpowered me by applying the smallest bit of extra effort and, in the blink of an eye, I was lying on my back again. "Art, c'mon, the people don't want a slacker for a queen!" I tried persuading as he held me in place, his body now hovering over mine.
"A what?"
"Lazy butt, whatever," I grumbled in response.
His expression softened as he responded, "Believe me, you are anything but that. You are doing an incredible job. I could not have asked for a better queen."
I clenched my jaw. I'm not good enough. Not if I can't find Aithusa.
I fought his grip again, but he didn't budge, causing me to glare at him.
"Astra, darling, you are not well." I rolled my eyes at Arthur's words, feeling annoyed that people keep telling me that. "You are not in any shape to be working right now. Take the day off. Get some rest. The kingdom will not fall apart, I promise."
"But I'm fine!"
He went to respond, but a knock on the door halted his words and he gave me a stern look that silently commanded me to stay in place before he got off me and called for whoever was on the other side to enter. I sat up again, but any further attempts to get away were impeded when he grabbed my wrist in a firm grip – which earned him another glare.
Merlin came inside, carrying a tray in his hands, and he seemed relieved to see me as a small smile formed on his face. "How are you feeling, Astra?" he asked softly.
"I'd be much better if someone wasn't treating me like a child," I grumbled in response, while sending Arthur another side glare.
"That is probably because you behave like a child when you are not feeling well," my brother shot back while giving me a pointed look.
I huffed, feeling betrayed. Why the heck is he taking Arthur's side?! It's almost like he doesn't want to find Aithusa! Has he given up on her?!
"Take care how you speak to my queen," Arthur growled at him.
I almost rolled my eyes at the title (and at the phrase because, like, that's my brother), but my head hurt too much to try it.
Merlin didn't respond. Instead, he set the tray down on the dining table with a sigh. "Here is the breakfast you requested for her, Sire."
"I can get my own breakfast," I muttered under my breath.
"Did you get the strawberries?" the King inquired.
The sorcerer removed a lid from atop a bowl and smiled a little. "Of course!"
My displeasure faded a bit at the sight of about a dozen chocolate-covered strawberries. I guess I can spare some five minutes for that before going back to looking through records, and sending letters from 'H. H. Haddock', and contemplating maps that might show places where a dragon could be imprisoned... Something is bound to produce some results. Hopefully happy ones, like a live dragon who's not too traumatised. Or, y'know, we could find the most heart-wrenching thing ever, if we ever find something at all. My stomach twisted at the bloody images that flashed through my mind and I looked away from the bowl. Never mind, I'm not hungry.
"Good," Arthur responded with a grateful nod. Then he took a glance at me and sighed before addressing my brother again, "Clear my schedule for the day."
Why?! I need him busy or he might question what my friends and I have been doing for the past six months!
"All of it?" Merlin asked with a surprised look.
The King circled my waist with his arm and drew me to his side as he nodded. "Yes. Someone needs to take care of her."
"Oh, come on! I'm fine!" I protested, but was ignored once more.
I watched with narrowed eyes as a relieved smile grew on my brother's lips. "Great!" he chirped. "Make sure she eats well and gets enough rest."
"I don't need rest!"
"I will see you later, dear sister. Enjoy your day off!" Merlin exclaimed before quickly leaving the room.
Realising that I'm not gonna escape getting the 'Rapunzel' treatment for the day, I let out a frustrated sigh and let myself fall back onto the bed. Doesn't Merlin understand that Aithusa's hours could be counted?! If she's even still alive... Oh, fork, we've been operating under the assumption that she's been captured and sold – but what if someone hunted her!? What if she's gone?!
A gentle squeeze to my hand broke that train of thoughts and my lungs (which apparently had stopped working at some point) suddenly regained function. I glanced up at Arthur.
"Astra – everything is all right. We can take a day off," he said gently.
Well, at least he doesn't suspect that this is about something other than queenly duties, or whatever.
"Yeah," I breathed out shakily.
He leaned down to kiss my forehead and then he got off the bed, went to get the tray, and returned to my side before offering me the bowl of strawberries. My stomach still felt queasy, but I didn't miss the fact that he specially requested that Merlin get them for me, and I don't want to make him worry more than he already seems. Gotta keep up appearances.
"Thanks, Artie," I told him in a whisper as I sat up again, resting my back against the headboard as the room continued to spin slightly, and I took the bowl from him.
"Anything for you, my love," he responded sweetly, causing a small smile to tug at my lips. I don't deserve him.
After three days of 'room-arrest', I was graciously allowed to take Dallas out for an easy spin in the riding arena. Then Louis, under Arthur's stern orders, escorted me back to the castle and I reluctantly went to take a bath, seeing as I was done exercising for the day.
I exited my bathroom ten minutes later and threw my arms in exasperation when I noticed Gwen going around my room while picking up papers that were scattered all over the floor. "Dude, we've talked about this – you're my 'girl-in-the-chair', not my maid!" I protested and moved to force her to her feet.
"I know that, but your mess is getting on my nerves," she responded with a pointed look.
"It's not a mess," I argued with a huff. "That's the 'Haddock' pool," I stated as I pointed to one corner of the room, where a large quantity of documents, maps, and old-ish notebooks lay around a bunch of boxes I borrowed from the library in hopes that they might hold some clues on where to find a missing dragon. "That's the important government stuff pool," I pointed to the centre of the room, which only had a couple of papers scattered about. "And that's the junk pool," I pointed towards the dust bin. Which isn't visible because it's been buried under a large pile of unnecessary letters and reports from around the kingdom.
"Can I throw that out, then?" Gwen questioned while motioning towards the junk pool.
I shook my head. "No, I still have to write some responses, but I haven't had the time."
Then I went over to my desk and plopped down on my chair.
I frowned when I realised that there wasn't a new stack of papers. Gwen usually gets the important government stuff from Arthur and sorts it in a much more meticulous system than mine while I work with the horses; and then we go over it together, since two sets of eyes are better than one when it comes to spotting bits of information that could land a document in the 'Haddock' pool. Also, she offers great insight into stately matters.
Obviously, I really miss working alongside Arthur, but Aithusa has to be the main priority and I can't exactly make any moves regarding her with him looking over my shoulder.
"Where's today's homework?" I asked my friend.
She sighed and averted her gaze. "Arthur told me not to worry you about that today."
I scoffed. How am I supposed to find Aithusa if I don't have access to the 'Camelot daily news'?!
"Freaking overprotective Ken," I muttered over my breath and ignored Gwen's suddenly bewildered stare as I stormed out of the room and over to Arthur's. I entered to find him engaged in his own work, though he instantly looked up and smiled at me.
"You are looking much better today, my love," he noted, causing me to momentarily forget my reason for being there.
I mean, I must admit that I really am feeling a little better after being forced to rest. Well, physically at least. I still feel like crap on the inside as my thoughts keep swirling with all the possibilities surrounding Aithusa's case. But I'm not about to let him and my friends be triumphant in getting me to admit that I haven't been feeling well in the first place. I have to keep up appearances, or he will keep a tighter grip on my metaphorical reins and the dragon will never be found.
So I simply rolled my eyes before giving a sarcastic response, "Ever the charmer."
He gave me a look of disapproval, but did not reply. Instead, he stretched out an arm towards me and I let out a sigh before moving to his side. He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist and made me sit on his lap, then he kissed the side of my head.
Of course, my entire soul wanted to give into his affections and stay in his arms all day. But I can't, so...
"Where's my bunch?" I asked while eyeing the pile of documents atop his desk.
Arthur sighed and moved to rest his chin on my shoulder. "I am not giving you any state work until you start feeling more relaxed."
I huffed. Relaxation? What's that?
I suppose I could use this to my advantage, though… Less state work means more time to turn over stones in regards to Aithusa. I might miss something in the 'daily news', but perhaps I could go out with Gwaine and scour the area where Phoenix last saw her again. Maybe we missed something the first twenty-or-so times!
"Well, I'm not gonna sit on my butt all day. Are there any patrolling posts I can take with Gwainester?" I asked.
Arthur sighed again and he leaned backwards on his chair. I turned sideways so that I could look at his face without breaking my neck and raised an eyebrow when I realised that he looked... almost... guilty?
"Artie?" I pressed.
"Gwaine has left on an expedition."
My eyes widened and my heart instantly began to race erratically. "What?! When?! Why?!"
"He received some anonymous information about some smugglers," Arthur responded, his tone soft and cautious.
'Anonymous information'?! I know what that's code for!
"And you let him go without me?!" I asked as I sprang to my feet and began to pace, my heart slamming against my ribcage.
He stood up as well and swiftly moved to hold my arms. "Darling – you are not in any state to go on a dangerous expedition right now."
"Why didn't you at least tell me?!" I could've snuck out and gone after him!
"We agreed that it was best not to trouble you," Arthur responded softly, one of his hands travelling up to rest on my cheek.
I pushed away from him and started to pace again while nibbling on my bottom lip. If Gwaine got a lead on Aithusa, he's gonna need me there. Ideally Merlin, too, but he's harder to get out of the castle given his status as not-a-knight.
"Where did he go?" I asked.
"You are not going after him, Astraea," Arthur spoke sternly this time, moving to grab my arm again. Then he slipped a hand under my chin and forced me to make eye-contact as he gave me a warning look. His thumb swiped at my bottom lip and I realised that I'd drawn blood; but what else is new? "I sent some men with him, including Percival. Everything will be all right," he added, his voice soft once more.
Oh, great! So now Aithusa's life is even more at risk! No one under Arthur's orders will think twice before hurting her!
"You better pray that's the case," I growled before shrugging off his hold and hurrying towards the door.
"Astra – wait!" he called out, but I left without another word. I need to have a chat with Merlin and/or Gwen. They must've known about this!
Doing my best to ignore the constriction in my lungs and my lunatic heart-rate, I rushed towards the physician's chambers, figuring that it was the best first place to look. Lucky for me, my brother sat at the kitchen bench while he polished Arthur's armour.
"Where's Gwaine?!" I demanded.
"I am sorry, Astra, but I'm not going to tell you," he responded monotonously.
I scoffed and started to pace the room once more as the overwhelming feelings of anxiety and helplessness started to weigh me down, causing acid to pool in my intestines and tears to form in my eyes. I can't believe they would do this! We're supposed to be in this together!
"What the hell is wrong with you!? We're supposed to be a team!" I snapped after a few moments.
"Yes, which means that we are meant to take care of each other, which means taking care of you," he replied, his tone eerily calm.
"Last I checked, I'm not the one who's been kidnapped!" I shot back through gritted teeth.
"No! You only got yourself stabbed three nights ago!" he countered loudly as he stood up, his gaze darkening with something fierce.
I recoiled. I can't believe he's mad at me for trying to find our dragon!
"I'm tryin' to find Aithusa! Don't ya' wanna get 'er back?!"
"Not if it means losing you!"
I faltered at that and stopped pacing, feeling my lungs freeze as I stared at him with widening eyes. Lose me? It was just a minor injury!
He took a deep breath and closed the distance between us, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Astra – you frightened us terribly with that stunt you pulled." I went to protest, but he cut me off by continuing, "You have been getting careless in your attempts to find her. You hardly stop to think before you throw yourself in danger! You have been driving us crazy with worry!"
His words pulled at something (can't tell you what) within me, causing me to avert my gaze.
"When I saw you on that chair... I had never been more scared in my whole life."
"It was just a little wound," I mumbled weakly.
"No, Astra – you could have died! You were lucky that Gwen went home early that night!"
I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration and looked down at the spot where the injury had been. Disturbing images instantly flashed through my mind. My hoodie pooled with a nauseating amount of blood, searing pain, a numbed arm...
Perhaps Merlin's words aren't so ridiculous.
"Why do you care so much for everyone except yourself?" he asked softly.
I gulped as a lump began to form in my throat.
"Do you have any idea how much you mean to all of us? To me?"
I looked up at him again, finding that his eyes were pooled with tears. The sight caused my tears to start falling.
"You are my best friend, Astra. You are my sister. I cannot bear to see you like this, and I cannot bear the thought of l-losing you…"
I've been going a bit insane, haven't I? I know that, if the roles were inverted, I'd be a mess worrying for Merlin. So much that I'd probably forget about the priority at hand…
Oh, crap! Have I been hindering the search by making my friends worry about me instead of Aithusa?!
The thought felt like a raging Pacific Ocean wave to the face and I broke down sobbing. Merlin instantly caught me as my knees buckled and he hugged me tightly.
"I'm such a b*tch," I whispered against his chest.
"No, you're not. You have a big, noble heart," he responded gently. "But you are terrible at dealing with your emotions."
A weak chuckle left me and I tightened my hold on him. "I'm so sorry, Merls."
"You do not have to apologise, Astra. Just... take care of yourself a little, yes?"
"I'll try."
He kissed the top of my head. "Good."
We remained in silence for a few moments, then Merlin spoke again, "And don't worry about Gwaine. He is smart. If the lead we got is any good, he can save Aithusa."
I sighed shakily and nodded. "Yeah. I know."
Merlin took a deep breath and he finally released me from his hold.
"Where'd he go, anyway?" I asked.
"Sorry, but I am still not telling you. I cannot risk you going after him."
I was going to protest, but the stern look he gave me shut me up.
"Fine," I grumbled instead. "I should probably find Arthur and apologise. I kinda stormed off on him earlier..."
My stomach churned with guilt. I've been a crappy wife lately, haven't I?
Oh, man, how does he not hate me yet?
My heart still giggled at the fact that I'm his freaking wife.
"Go on, then," my brother said with a nod.
I sighed again and moved towards the door, then I stopped and turned to face him again as I said, "Thanks for everything, Merls. I love you."
"I love you, too, Astra. Never forget that."
A small smile formed on my lips and I finally left the apartment.