Isabella Disney-Busattil- Host

It was wonderful what all of this was doing for my mental health. I considered myself a pretty happy person, but it took a toll, sending children to die every year. I had wondered sometimes if the Capitol let Polyphemus get away with what he did because they knew it would always be a pyrrhic victory. No one else in the world would feel each of her wards' pain more acutely than someone who had sat in that same chair with the tiniest secret hope that someone might say this was all a joke, of course we weren't going to kill them. What they didn't know was that it wasn't myself I saw when I was hurting for them. It was Jack and Zebulon and most of all, it was Mike. I knew he was happy as what he was, but it didn't stop me from wishing he was here with me. But this year? No one was dying! Not even if they tried… Val. So I didn't need to fake my energy or my enthusiasm. I loved this job! I loved life!

"Today we have another Survivor classic," I said, look over my kids and relishing their relaxed attitudes and healthy frames. "I bet sometimes you wish you could just kill each other. Well, you'll have to settle for this."

In the challenge field behind me stood eight figures. Eight life-sized contestants stood in a row, each ceramic body resembling one of the kids before me. "One by one, each of you will take a Viking axe and throw it at the figure of your choice. If your statue breaks, you are out. Last Tribute standing wins immunity and reward. Today's reward is a trip for two to our luxurious Island spa. Featuring hot springs, whirlpools, massages, and more, you'll come back relaxed and refreshed. Ready?"

For this challenge I used a combination of strategy and chance. To select who would aim at who, I used alliances and personalities. To see if they hit, I used an RNG, since no one here has axe throwing experience. The numbers turned out so funny I'm just gonna post the process, because if I had to wade through this, so do you. The capitals were to make it easier for me to follow myself.

Round one:

OCTAVIA aimed at DORIAN. She just barely winged him- no cracks but it hit.

VAL also aimed at DORIAN. Womp womp, he missed.

LANA flanked the twins and aimed at KALLIK. She left a crack on Kallik's hip.

DORIAN sought vengeance on VAL. He winged him.

KALLIK took aim at SHEP and winged him.

SHEP continued the dog pile on DORIAN but missed.

YARROW aimed at LEO and missed.

LEO felt bad aiming at anyone so he went with YARROW since at least she aimed at him. He missed.

ROUND TWO:

OCTAVIA missed DORIAN

LANA scored a good hit on YARROW, cracking but not breaking her.

DORIAN struck back at OCTAVIA and her alliance, breaking off her ear.

KALLIK followed up with another crack on OCTAVIA

SHEP winged DORIAN

YARROW bit the bullet and fired at LANA, leaving a big dent in her chest

LEO missed DORIAN

VAL winged DORIAN

ROUND THREE

All statues are in at least fair condition, since this bunch sucks at throwing axes.

Octavia, Lana, Dorian, Kallik and Shep all missed

YARROW scored first blood on LEO

LEO knocked a big chunk off DORIAN

VAL missed DORIAN

ROUND FOUR

DORIAN's statue is pretty beat up but it's still standing. Everyone else's statues look pretty good- not because no one was targeting them, but because everyone is missing almost every shot. It was at this point I started adding 9 to everyone's RNGs just so I'd start getting some hits. In-universe this reflects them getting used to the axes.Octavia, Lana and Dorian missed

KALLIK hit OCTAVIA right in center mass, leaving a big crater

SHEP missed DORIAN

YARROW winged LANA

LEO landed a square hit on DORIAN. With a crash of crockery, DORIAN's statue collapsed into a pile of dust and fragments.

VAL missed YARROW

ROUND FIVE

OCTAVIA'S statue is all beat up and kinda leaning, but she's holding on. Everyone else has some scuffs and dents. SHEP and VAL are the least damaged. I started adding 12 because everyone was still missing.

OCTAVIA cracked YARROW some more.

LANA absolutely pimp-slapped LEO and very nearly killed him.

DORIAN is dead

KALLIK missed OCTAVIA

SHEP cracked KALLIK a little

YARROW knocked a solid chunk off LEO

LEO grand-slammed KALLIK and blew a whole arm off.

VAL would not stand an insult to his love. He slew LEO

ROUND SIX

OCTAVIA still looks terrible. KALLIK is miraculously standing but looks like Tar Man. YARROW and LANA look like they were in an alleyway rumble. SHEP and VAL still look like they stepped out of a palace. I started adding 20 because they were STILL missing 75% of the time.

OCTAVIA's blow would have killed KALLIK even if she hadn't been on death's door.

LANA scored a solid blow on SHEP

SHEP went Thanos on OCTAVIA, scattering her remains to the winds.

YARROW missed SHEP

VAL avenged his sister, killing SHEP

ROUND SEVEN

LANA and YARROW look pretty drunk and battered. VAL looks as sexy as ever.

LANA scored a heavy hit on YARROW

YARROW grand-slammed VAL, wiping out half his hot points.

VAL missed YARROW

ROUND EIGHT

YARROW is barely standing. VAL looks a little better. LANA looks pretty good, comparatively.

LANA missed VAL

YARROW missed VAL

VAL barely hit YARROW but it was enough. A few shards kicked off an avalanche and she collapsed inwards.

ROUND NINE

LANA aimed her axe. It bounced off VAL's chest, cracking it. VAL slid to th ground, his face pointed at the sky.

"Lana wins immunity and reward!"

"Oh my gosh, no way! Ooh, I wanna take Octavia!"

More details on the RNG:

10 points killed a contestant. An RNG of 50-59 was one point, etc. The flavor text reflects these values. I did try to keep some track of who was hitting frequently so people would start to target them, but my dyslexia is such that I mainly focused on tribe dynamics, like Yarrow and Val picking on each other because Yarrow doesn't like Val having a safe ally in Octavia and Val think

s Yarrow is a bigger threat than Lana. Meanwhile Lana was blessed by the RNG gods and became actual Jason Voorhees.