5 years later...
The girl ran as quickly as she could through the darkness of the forest that seemed neverending. Her heart was in her chest, pounding wildly as her bare feet crashed against the dirt and dead leaves below. He was close. Too close. Every inch of her body felt cold as pain seared through her back, something warm and wet trickling down her shirt.
"You can't keep running forever, Isabella." The distant sound of a man's voice followed her in the darkness, making her cry out in desperation for anyone who would listen–who could save her. No one would come. They never did.
With a whimper, she stumbled forward and landed on the cold wet ground with a hard thud. The sound of the waves crashing in the distance reached her ears and she sat back, panting as she stared down at her hands to see why the sand was so wet when the waves still sounded so far away. Bella gasped at the sight of...
Red. There was so much red coating her skin, her palms, and her arms.
Blood. This was blood, she thought to herself. Her bottom lip trembled as she gazed up to find the silhouette of two bodies laying on the sand, motionless. Bella stumbled back, shutting her eyes tight and rocking back and forth. No. No, I don't want to see them again. Please!
When two cold, hard hands grabbed her shoulders and yanked her up, she was met the red eyes of a faceless man. The same monster who always chased her in her dreams. The monster sneered, "I'll always find you. Always. My pretty little bird."
As he released a growl and lunged towards her, Bella screamed into the night.
"No!" Bella lurched forward, clutching the blankets in her hands as she blinked her eyes open.
She looked around her bedroom frantically before sliding to the other side of the bed, switching on the lamplight on the nightstand. She quickly scanned the empty, quaint space of her room. There was no in here. No red-eyed monster to greet her or drag her away. She was safe.
A dream. The same dream that haunted her every few weeks. Bella let out a shuddering breath and wrapped her arms around herself, whispering, "Just a dream. A dream. That's it."
How many times? How many times has she tried to convince herself that she'd made up the blonde man with red eyes? That she'd simply created that day in her mind.
Over the years, the memory still proved fresh in her mind and no matter how many times she tried to convince herself otherwise, Bella still couldn't shake it off. Just as she couldn't shake away the memory of Charlie's lifeless eyes staring into her face, his blood coating the sand on the beach and her hands—
A knock came at the door and startled her out of her thoughts. Bella quickly slumped back into the bed, covering herself with the blankets as she heard Esme's delicate voice behind the door, "Bella? Are you alright?"
"Y-yes! Come in," She called out as the door opened and she smiled at her with affection. Bella smiled nervously at the woman as she walked in.
Esme was as beautiful as ever, wearing green silk pajamas that accentuated her curves and brought out the warmth in her brown hair that reached over her shoulders. "Are you alright?"
Bella nodded, wincing when she looked at the time on the clock on her nightstand. It was four in the morning, too early for anyone to be up at this hour.
"Sorry. Did I..." she trailed off too embarrassed to say it out loud. Ever since she was taken in by Carlisle and Esme, her nightmares gradually became worse and with it, her screams did too. Last time it took Jasper and Rosalie to wake her from her nap when she got trapped in the nightmare. It was horrible, waking up to see both of them watching her with saddened eyes.
Esme shook her head as she came to sit on the edge of the bed, "It's alright."
"It's embarrassing," the girl sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, a habit she'd picked up from Jasper and Edward. "I hate it..."
"Want me to stay with you?"
Bella leaned into Esme's touch as her cool fingers pushed back one of the loose strands of her hair over her ear.
Bella frowned, "Esme, I'm nine. Besides, Emmett will make fun of me if he finds out I asked you to sleep with me." She pouted.
"You leave Emmett to me. And you're ten years old as of this morning." Esme smiled warmly before poking Bella's nose, making the girl smile begrudgingly.
Oh. So that would explain the nightmare. It was her birthday. Another reminder of the day she lost her parents. Parents she could barely remember—only the memory of their dead bodies and smeared blood remained.
Esme instantly noticed the change in her and sighed, "Oh, sweetheart. It's okay," she wiped Bella's cheek and she realized she'd started crying. "It's okay. We don't have to celebrate your birthday if you don't want to. We can do something at home!"
"But what about Alice?" Her adoptive sister always wanted to dress Bella up or throw a grand party for her every year. It was exhausting and probably added to the factor that she gradually began detesting her birthday more and more every year. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint Alice by refusing her "love language" as she loved to call it so much.
"We'll work something out with Alice, don't you worry. You know they can't deny you anything. Now scoot over," Bella did as she was told and rolled onto her side, watching her adoptive mother lift the covers up before laying down beside her. She smiled softly and closed her eyes with a satisfied sigh, "There. Much better."
"Carlisle won't be mad I took you from him?" She asked nervously, knowing that the question itself was preposterous, but never quite shaking away the feeling that her very existence in the Cullen's household bared a burden on them all.
Esme turned to face Bella and took her hand in her own. It never bothered Bella to feel the never-changing cold temperature the Cullens always seemed to have. Whenever one of them held her hand or hugged her. For Bella, this was normal. The way the whole family was, for some odd reason, was normal to her. It made her wish she was the same too. If only to resemble at least one of the Cullens. To belong in their family.
Esme hugged Bella, holding her close to her chest, "Carlisle is probably jealous I get to spend all my time with my lovely daughter while he's out saving the world and wearing blue scrubs while doing it."
Bella smiled as Esme giggled.
"Esme?"
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"I love you."
Esme's eyes softened as they gazed at her shining brown eyes. She wrapped her arms around her a little tighter and held her close as she whispered, "I love you too, Bella. Happy birthday."
"Happy birthday, Bells!" Bella blinked open her tired eyes just as the sound of something popping loudly in front of her woke her up. The next thing she knew, colorful pieces of confetti were flying around all around her, filling her bed with glitter and ribbons beyond the eyes can see.
The girl pursed her lips as she glared at Emmett and Alice, the loudest and most energetic bunch of the family. They did this every year. So much so that it ceased to startle her. Every year without fail, they managed to come up with bigger and louder ways to wake her up for her birthday.
Last year they'd jumped on the bed, blasting the happy birthday song on a speaker held up by Emmett's large hands while Alice sprinkled flower petals over her.
"You're cleaning this up," Bella sighed as she sat up, huffing away a piece of her hair that fell over her face and watching as more glitter floated onto her lap. Emmett tossed the empty confetti gun onto the covers before going around the bed and holding his hands out. Amber eyes shining with mischief.
Bella bristled at the attention as her big brother said, "Aw, is my birthday girl a grouch again this year?"
"I'm not a grouch," she said as he picked her up and spun her around, as though she weighed absolutely nothing. Her arms and legs hung limply at her sides as Emmett held her in his arms. Swaying them side to side. Bella rolled her eyes comically, trying to fight off a grin as she said, "You're too loud."
"Only the best for my best girl!" Emmett chimed as he set her back down and ruffled her hair, making her scowl before declaring, "Breakfast is cooking. Presents are downstairs. And you are going to have the best damn birthday!"
"Now that I think about it. I don't feel too good." She said.
Alice giggled and threw her arms around the girl who rolled her eyes, staring blankly at her reflection in the long mirror in her bedroom. Her bright purple pajama set stood out like a sore thumb beside Alice's deep blue dress, black spiky hair, and pale skin.
"Oh no, you don't missy! Not this year! It worked last time and I let everyone convince me to leave you alone. But this year? We are going to celebrate!"
"What are you waiting for? Let's go!" Emmett said as he and Alice both intertwined their arms around Bella's arms and lifted her up before carrying her out of her bedroom. Bella let them take her away, keeping the same unimpressed look on her face until her eyes noticed Jasper sitting in the kitchen with Esme.
He greeted her with a grin before taking in the two Cullens who'd already managed to annoy the smallest member of their family before the day's even started.
"Couldn't you guys leave her alone for another hour?" Jasper chuckled as he stood from the stool and took Bella in his arms, brushing away the glitter off the top of her head. He kissed her cheek before saying, "Happy Birthday, darlin'."
"Thanks," Bella said curtly before she gradually felt her bad mood shift to something warm and calming. It always seemed to happen whenever she was around Jasper. She noticed it, but chalked it up to her ever-growing love for her big brother that always seemed to be there for her when she needed him most. Jasper seemed to always know when she was upset or lost in thought of her mom and dad when all she could do is think about the blood and red-eyed man.
Jasper frowned as he sat Bella down on the chair at the breakfast table. She straightened, becoming attuned to what the expressions on his face meant. Bella smiled, trying to push all thoughts of Charlie and Renee as far away as they would allow her to, "What's the plan today then?"
"Shopping!"
"Baseball!"
Alice and Emmett chimed, beaming at the girl before glaring at each other.
"What do you want to do today, Bella?" Man, she really loved Jasper today. She smiled at Jasper as he sent a pointed glance to his brother and wife.
A few years ago, when Bella asked why Alice and Jasper kissed on the lips all the time, they'd tried to explain that they weren't siblings just as Rosalie and Emmett weren't siblings either. It had taken a few chats to explain the dynamics and eventually, Bella understood that while none of them were related, the Cullens were still a family.
The thought of seeing anyone kissing, however, was still icky for her.
Edward seemed to share the same sentiments and they often wandered to his music room to play piano while the couples in the family did their sappy stuff.
Much like Bella, her brooding, bronze-haired brother never seemed to take any interest in the girls at his school. Come to think of it, he never showed any interest in dating anyone either.
In part, Bella was glad for that, seeing as Edward spent most of his free time with her. Teaching her the piano or playing classical music on his record player.
"Can I eat first and tend to my needs, please?" She finally asked, shoving Emmett's hand away before he could pinch her cheek.
"Your needs, huh? We better watch out now that miss Bella's all grown up and saying words like needs." Rosalie chimed sarcastically as she strode into the kitchen wearing a pink blouse and white jeans, as beautiful as ever.
The blonde smiled softly at Bella as she ran her hand over Bella's head, effectively wiping away the last of the confetti in her hair, "Happy birthday, kid."
And that was that. The best part about Rosalie was that she didn't dote on her as the others did, on some level that is. She was stoic and at times jaded, but honest and kind, despite how many times she bickers with Alice or Edward. Most importantly, Rosalie knew how much Bella hated her birthday and respected her decision to never make her birthday a big deal.
Despite the full house of doting family members, Bella never once felt quite as lonely as she used to and it was nice. It was a nice feeling, knowing she was wanted and loved. In a way, she never quite remembered Charlie or Renee loving her. Not in the same way, that is.
While she watched her siblings bicker and talk about nothing of importance, Bella's small smile slowly fell. Feeling as if she were stuck in time, at this moment. Watching them from afar and wondering what her life would have been like had her parents lived. If the red-eyed monster who left lasting scars on her body, mind, and heart, had simply let them all be.
Yeah, she really hated her birthday.
After a long day of celebrations, shopping, and gifts, Bella sat in the bathtub in silence.
Everyone had been so kind to her all day, showering her with hugs and kisses and too many gifts she didn't know where to put in her bedroom.
Carlisle and Esme had bought her plenty of books to read, just as she'd requested when they asked what she would like to receive best. Alice bought her an assortment of dresses and colorful headbands while Jasper bought her a DVD documentary box set about wildlife and outer space.
Emmett, as per usual, lugged a big teddy bear the size of the ceiling-to-floor windows in the living room of their lake house. Rosalie had broken the "no gift-giving rule" and gave her a small bracelet with a single crystal heart dangling from the center.
Just as she'd begun feeling overwhelmed by all the thought put into the gifts bestowed upon her—by some miracle—Edward simply gifted her a beginner's music book to teach her how to read music sheets and play the piano.
It had been a wonderful day, simply spent at home with her family.
She should be happy.
Should be...
So why can't she stop thinking about Charlie and Renee today? Why couldn't she remember anything about them? Had it always been this way? Didn't she have more memories of them, other than of that day?
Resting her head atop her knees, Bella watched as every breath she took created ripples across the water in the tub. She stared at the water dripping from the faucet for a long while before absently running her hand over her shoulder, feeling the scar that remained permanently etched across her skin.
"I'm sorry...I don't remember you anymore." She whispered for no one to hear, expecting...she didn't know what she expected. Maybe to hear a familiar voice say 'it's alright, Bella. We love you either way.'
It never came.
Bella sat there in her big bathtub until the water grew colder around her and she shivered.
"Bella? Are you ready to get out, sweetheart?" Bella slowly looked up to find Esme poking her head behind the door.
She nodded and waited for her adoptive mother to hold out a towel for her to step out of the tub and wrap her up.
"Esme?" She asked as she wandered into her bedroom and waited for Esme to search for a pajama set from the closet.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
Bella's lips parted and closed several times before she ultimately felt a wave of courage sweep over her and she said, "What were...my parents like?"
Esme's hands stilled the moment she began retrieved the blue nightgown.
The woman's eyes widened with surprise and dread as she remained in the closet, listening to Bella's heart beating a little faster in her chest. This had been the first time in a long time since Bella had mentioned her parents, let alone asked about them. Why now? She wondered as she composed herself and stepped out of the closet, "I'm not sure, Bella. I never met them. But...Carlisle did, briefly."
When Esme noticed Bella's gaze remained on her bare feet, standing motionless in the threshold of the door, she pulled Bella towards the edge of the bed and sat down. Esme's hand curled under her chin and lifted Bella's face to meet her sad gaze. "Is this about the nightmare you had today?"
Bella bit her lip. The back of her eyes stung as she fidgeted, "I saw them again. Laying on the beach. The blood...it was everywhere. And the man was there. The same one."
Carlisle and Esme knew about the dreams, it was all the child could do to keep her sanity. Telling them about the man and that day in detail. It was easier to talk to them about it compared to the others. Out of fear they would judge her or possibly think she was strange.
Esme ran her hand over Bella's wet hair and sighed when the girl flinched slightly. Bella wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"No, please don't apologize, Bella. I'm not upset with you. I understand this is hard for you. I truly wish I could help ease your pain, even if for a little while. Why don't we go talk to Carlisle for a bit, hm? Would you like that?"
Bella nodded hesitantly as she took Esme's hand and followed her out into the hall.
They found Carlisle in his study on the second floor closing up the file on his desk before greeting them with a warm smile. There was something about her adoptive parents that always seemed to comfort her greatly. Despite the guilt she always felt for not remembering her real parents, Bella couldn't possibly imagine a world without Carlise or Esme.
The late-night breeze and chirping of the birds in the trees would have once helped soothe Jasper's tumultuous emotions roaring in his heart. But not tonight. Not when the little girl upstairs was currently experiencing one of the worst days she's had in a long time.
"She's alright, Jazz. This was bound to happen eventually." Alice murmured as she sat down on the rocking bench beside her mate, gazing out towards the lake. Jasper couldn't bring himself to accept her calm for once. Not as he felt and heard Bella's turmoil all day long.
Not one day. She couldn't have one day without the nightmares or feeling this guilt. Why can't she find some peace?
Jasper clenched his jaw as he heard Bella ask Esme about her parents. A wave of uncertainty and fear always followed whenever she mentioned the Swans and while she didn't understand why, they all understood the root cause of it.
The memories she suppressed gradually. About the nomad who killed her parents and the "friend" who he had Jenks investigate.
Jenks found out later the same year that the sick bastard was named Phil Dwyer—a teacher who used to work with Renee Swan at the elementary school in Forks. Every time Jasper thought about Phil, he had half a thought to drive back to Forks and kill the bastard.
A thought they all shared—even Carlisle on some level—though it was rarely discussed.
"You know we can't protect her from everything," Alice added.
"I'm aware of that, darlin'. I just wish she could celebrate her damn birthday like a normal kid her age." He breathed out, finally looking away from the still waters beyond to find his wife's beautiful eyes. He ran his hand through her short hair, smiling at the wave of love she sent him.
"We all wish that, Jasper. She'll get there...someday. But first, she has to get through the first day of school tomorrow. And ours too."
"I can't wait." Jasper nearly rolled his eyes with a grin.
"Oh, I almost forgot! Flynn Thomson wants to ask her to be his girlfriend tomorrow!" Alice said in a sing-sing tone. She giggled as Jasper immediately scowled and at the same time, Emmett and Edward practically burst through the sliding doors of their back porch.
"What did you say?" Edward questioned, raising his dark eyebrows.
"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you." Emmett said, blinking at Alice comically, looking as though he were about to implode.
Jasper watched Alice with narrowed as she shrugged and rose gracefully from her perch on the bench, "Darlin'..."
They all recalled the Thompson kid last year in her class who wouldn't leave Bella's side. The little boy was utterly taken with the shy, serious girl ever since kindergarten.
That's one thing they never accounted for, as silly as it may seem, that Bella would ever harbor feelings for another, let alone have a boyfriend. Either way, none of the boys were thrilled about this newest development. More so considering Bella was a bit of a mystery, even to them.
"It's going to be a fun year." Alice winked as she strode back into the house, leaving Jasper and his brothers with permanent frowns on their faces.
Thanks for reading! x
I'm so excited to share this next stage in Bella's life!