Hello lovely readers!

First, I'm so sorry for being on (quite a long) hiatus on here! After graduating with my bachelor's, I moved for my master's and have been working hard to be able to live in the city. But I'm happy to say that my career is finally taking off and I'm doing well :)

I also worked on a few chapters for BB so you'll be getting a few updates from here on out.

Thanks for your patience and all your wonderful messages!

Disclaimer: some heavier topics are discussed in this chapter

A Few Weeks Later...

"And this is your room," Alice chimed as she opened the door to a bedroom on the third floor of their new home.

New wasn't exactly the word for it, Bella thought to herself. Seeing as the Cullens had lived here long before they adopted her years ago. But it might as well have been, seeing as she didn't remember anything about the place.

Especially not of the bedroom that used to be hers, according to Alice.

Bella set her backpack down by the door as she took in the bedroom, the ceiling-to-floor windows which were similar to the ones in her old room in Alaska. The large oak poster bed to the right was already adorned with coral pink throw pillows and a duvet. On either side of the bed were built in shelves along the walls—most were empty save for the bottom two shelves that were occupied by a few stuffed teddy bears.

There were a set of double doors to the left that led to a small balcony overlooking the lush trees that surrounded the house.

The Cullen residence in Forks was far from town. Just as their home in Alaska had been. The one in New York too...

All of them away from everything and everyone.

Alice said cheerfully, "The bed is new and the shelves were installed a few days ago before we arrived. I figured you'd need a lot more for all the books you collected over the years. We can add more furniture later. I was thinking a loveseat in the corner over there by the window and a desk over here..."

Bella stared out the window, watching the driveway below where she could see Emmett and Edward unloading a few suitcases that belonged to her sisters. They were joking around, grinning at whatever Jasper said in passing, no doubt rolling his eyes at the excessive luggage his wife insisted on bringing.

They were happy to be here.

Back to the home they had to leave all those years ago.

Because of her.

She wondered what their lives would have been like if she hadn't come along. Would they be happier? Still living in Forks without having to worry about taking care of a human?

"Bella? You okay?" Alice placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, startling her.

That's right, Alice was talking to her this whole time.

She forced a smile as she turned to face her sister, "Yeah, I'm good. The room is perfect. You did a good job, Alice. Like always."

It's been a few weeks since they left Alaska, and she's had time to work on masking her emotions for the most part by now. To not make Carlisle or anyone else worry about her.

It seemed to have worked during their short stay in New York, until she noticed the worried glances her parents gave her or the quiet conversations between Jasper and one of their siblings.

Just have to work harder from now on. You're okay. You. Are. Fine. Make them believe it too.

Alice's shoulders dropped, but said nothing as she showed Bella around the rest of the house.

The days they spent driving to Forks, Bella hadn't said anything unless asked something by one of them. She'd slept for the majority of the trip too which probably concerned Carlisle. Sleep has evaded her for the most part. Mostly because Bella tries to avoid it unless absolutely necessary, focusing instead on staying up late to read as an excuse. So far, no one has chastised her for her bad sleeping habits.

That could be due to them wanting to give Bella time to sort through her own feelings since saying goodbye to Flynn.

Mainly her thoughts have been on him...and Peter and Charlotte. The two had remained in Alaska, waiting for James and Victoria to show themselves. Hoping to put an end to all this running once and for all.

When they told her about their plan to catch the nomads off guard, Bella had faltered before climbing into Emmett's Jeep. She'd looked to Peter after overhearing that he would not be joining the Cullens in New York or Forks.

"You're not...going?" She'd asked him.

Peter had looked away from Jasper and Carlisle at the sound of her quiet voice. The two men appeared surprised that she was speaking to the nomad at all. But Peter merely walked towards her as she gripped the door with one hand, a furrow between her brows.

When he'd spoken it was oddly gentle, "We'll remain here close to the Denali's until James shows his face. We'll deal with him then."

"And then..." she'd hesitated, not sure why she cared at all. Why his leaving them also made her heart ache. Flynn's hurt expression had remained fresh in her mind before he drove away and for some reason, knowing that Peter and Charlotte were also saying goodbye...it affected her for some reason. "Then what?"

Peter hesitated, looking towards Charlotte as she hugged the women goodbye. He finally said, "We do what we always have until now. We move, travel, maybe visit a few other friends of ours."

"Will I see you guys again?" She'd found herself asking before she thought better of it. Her cheeks heated under his unfaltering gaze.

If Peter had been surprised by her concern, he hadn't shown it.

"I thought you were scared of us." He murmured though the corner of his lips had twitched slightly.

"I...was scared of what your eyes meant. But they're not red anymore. They're golden, like everyone else's..."

"Living with a bunch of vegetarians will do that to you," he shrugged. Bella suspected there was more to it than that but she didn't want to pry. For some reason, she hadn't wanted to upset him. Then he'd said, voice oddly reassuring, "We'll come find you when we're done, if that's what you want."

They stared at one another for a long time then. Bella's soft gaze meeting his unwavering amber ones as he waited patiently for her to speak again.

And because of that gaze she still couldn't get out of her head even weeks later, she'd said what she'd felt in that moment, "I do...want that, I mean."

Peter had simply nodded with a small smile and said, "Take care of yourself, Bella."

Take care of yourself...

"It's going to take some time to adjust, you know?" Alice said and Bella blinked, pulled out her thoughts once again. She looked at her sister as they stood out on the back porch, surveying the forest surrounding them and listening to the soft sounds of rain falling. Alice took Bella's hand in hers and murmured, "It'll take time, but things will go back to normal for you."

Bella's lips parted but no words came out. Not the ones she really wanted to say. Normal? Had her life ever been normal? She wondered about that.

Instead she smiled, "If you say so, then it has to be true."

Bella stared at the blood dripping on the carpet from where she sat cross legged, leaning against the wall of a small hotel room.

Her expression was utterly blank as she stared at the limp hand that hung off the side of the bed. Bella couldn't have helped her even if she tried, though when she opened her eyes the woman had already been dead. Drained.

By the monsters who'd left a long time ago. Leaving the woman completely alone and discarded as though she'd been nothing more than trash.

James and Victoria were in Alaska now, that much she knew based on the view from the small window by the door. Any day now, Peter and Charlotte should have news about the nomads if they ended up tracking down where the Cullens used to stay.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been here, but eventually she heard her name being called from some distant place. Slowly, she stood and approached the woman on the bed. Her brown eyes were open, staring at nothing. Her long brown hair was curly and beautiful despite being stained by her own blood.

In that moment, Bella imagined herself being the one lying on that bed instead of this woman. What it would be like to have her life end if only for others to stop suffering.

A lone tear rolled down her cheek as she whispered an apology, before turning and heading toward the door. Where she could hear Carlisle calling her name over and over again from the other side.

When she opened her eyes again, she was sitting on the couch in their new home in Forks.

Everyone was there. Looking at her with worried expressions, and Carlisle was sitting next to her. He ran his hand up and down her back, "Bella, are you alright?"

Esme held her hand to her left, looking at her with so much worry it was impossible to not notice even in her dazed state.

Bella blinked a few times and asked, "What were we doing?"

Carlisle said softly, "You were watching a movie with everyone. Then you had an absence seizure. Do you feel sick?"

Bella shook her head even as she couldn't recall that she'd been in the living room. That happens sometimes after an absence seizure. Where she can't remember what she'd been doing before it happened. Before she was plunged into another awful, bloodied sight.

Carlisle gently cupped her face, still making sure to check for any sign that she wasn't being truthful.

"Did you see anything this time?" Alice asked her from where she stood next to Jasper, holding his hand.

Bella murmured, her voice sounding oddly detached, "James and Victoria are in Alaska. They killed another woman with brown hair."

Everyone remained silent at her words. Jasper looked pained even as he scowled.

Carlisle helped her stand when she made to rise from the couch, wrapping an around around her shoulders just in case.

"I'm going to bed now." She told them as she and Carlisle started heading toward the hall. Then she stopped when a thought came to her. She looked to Alice, "Can you tell Peter and Charlotte? Just in case."

Alice nodded, forcing a smile. Bella wondered if that was how she looked when she forced herself to smile and pretend everything was okay.

A knock on Bella's door made her turn her head against her pillow before she could flip to the next page on her book.

"Come in."

Jasper walked into her room and leaned against the doorframe, "Not sleeping? It's pretty late, darlin'."

"One more chapter and then I'll sleep." She said, though they both knew it was a lie.

"Can I join you?" He asked and when she nodded, he closed the door behind him.

He made his way to the other side of her bed and climbed on. He leaned against the headboard and asked, "What are you reading now?"

Bella showed him the cover of her book.

Jasper arched a brow, "Pride & Prejudice. Why am I not surprised it's a romance?"

"I don't really care about that," Bella settled into her pillows, "I like Elizabeth. She's smart and courageous, but she's sensitive."

Jasper placed his hand atop her head, smoothing her hair, "Sounds like someone I know."

Bella gave him a smile at the compliment.

"Hey," he leaned forward. "Tell me what's going on? Please."

Bella sighed and closed her book before setting it on her nightstand. It took her a while to say the words out loud but eventually she managed it, knowing he'd only worry more if she tried to reject his offer to talk.

"When I was there and I saw that woman lying in her own blood, all alone. Forgotten. All I could do was stare at her. I wasn't even scared this time. Maybe because I've seen so many women like her already."

Jasper listened to her, let her get all her thoughts out, no matter how awful they were. Because he would understand better than anyone what she felt.

Bella continued, "And while I looked her, I wondered if maybe all this death and blood being spilled could be avoided. If it would all stop if it were me-"

"Isabella." Jasper's stern voice made her flinch. She looked up at him and found such pain and anger in his eyes that she sat up. He was mad at her? But she hadn't said anything mean to him. Why was he-

Jasper placed his hands on her shoulders and made her face him, "Don't you ever say that to me again, do you understand me? Don't even think it."

"But...why not?"

Jasper's harsh expression fell into shock. His voice sounded so hurt that Bella couldn't look at him anymore, "Why not? How could you ask such a thing?"

"Why shouldn't I think that way? Those women, they probably had families too right? They had people who cared about them. They had lives of their own. Unlike me, they were innocent."

"You were a child when James decided to hunt you down. You still are. His actions, no matter how disgusting and cruel, are his alone. It is not your fault that he's a monster, Bella. Please...don't ever say that you'd rather it be your life that gets taken."

She saw what her words did to him then. The pain, the sorrow of him imagining her death and refusing to accept that as an option.

"Okay I'm sorry, I won't say it again." Tears pricked her eyes and she shut them tight, "It's just not fair. None of this is fair and I feel so guilty. I can't help it. I just want him to stop."

"Come here," he urged after a beat of silence and she let him pull her into his arms and hold her close. For a moment, Bella wondered if Jasper was crying. But that wasn't possible. "Please, don't think those things again."

Her arms wrapped around him and she tried to ease his worries, "I'm sorry for saying that, Jazz."

He merely nodded and kissed her forehead. They both stayed quiet as she laid down and let him use his gift to lull her to sleep while he held her hand.

The next morning when Bella woke up, she found that Alice was also lying in bed beside her. Rosalie and Emmett were sitting on the floor by the bookcases talking in hushed tones. And Edward was standing by the window where a ray of sunshine caressed the side of his face, his eyes shifting toward hers when he sensed that she was awake.

Jasper was in the exact same place, sitting atop the covers and holding her hand. Smiling down at her when she looked at him.

All of them were here with her. Loving her and protecting her, even from her own dark thoughts. Her family.

Suddenly she felt guilty for ever wondering what theirs lives would be like without her. Even if that day would come sooner or later.

Thanks for reading x

From this point forward Bella's arc is going to take a bit of a shift. As you all know, Bella has seen a lot because of her gift and went through her first heartbreak/lost her best friend and the life she made for herself in Alaska.

This gives her another perspective on her life with the Cullens and what being with them truly means as a human.

I felt that it's important to show what things like loss and depression can do to someone when it gets to be too much. Especially since Bella is a teenager and witnessing such horrific things.