Hercules had defeated Hades and the Titans, and saved all of Greece. Upon saving Menelas out of selfless love, Hercules had re-earned his godhood. After striving his whole life to return to Olympus, Hercules turned down immortality in favor of a mortal life on Earth with his lover Menelas, or as he prefers, Menel. They soon got married and are living happily in the suburb of Thebes.
Two men were carrying his statue up the stairs. Trying to, anyway.
"Oh, yeah, that one goes up there with the others." Hercules said. "Uh, you know what? Allow me."
He took the statue off their hands.
Menel was already upstairs, unrolling the carpet on one of the rooms. Hercules enters and puts the statue down.
"Ah. There."
"Gee, that's real... subtle." Menel snarked.
"Yeah, you like it? I thought we could use some of my hero mementos to, you know, decorate the place."
Menel chuckled. "Herc, you've... managed to erect a hero monument in every room."
"I'm sorry, I just, you know, wanted you to think I'm so great."
Menel wrapped his arms around Hercules's shoulders. "Ya big ox, I don't need a statue to remind me how great you are. I've got the real thing. Although you do look good in marble."
"Menel!" Hercules was flattered by that compliment. The two were about to kiss when they got interrupted. "Where you all want this one? Oops."
He dropped a vase filled with things.
"What is this stuff?" Menel picked up the vase and reads it. "It says 'Prometheus Acad-'"
"OH NO!" Hercules gasped. He took the vase from Menel's hand and put the contents back. "Hermes!"
Hermes, the messenger god, shows up. "Yo, babe."
"Take this back to Phil's island, will you?" Hercules said quickly.
Hermes gets a good look at the vase. "Hey, isn't this-"
"Now!"
"Ooh, touchy." Hermes said as he flies away.
"Epsilon Haul-It Moving Company won't be responsible for any items lost due to divine intervention." The mover explained.
"Oh yeah, no problem, that's great." Hercules quickly escorted the mover out the door. "Now, let's get back to-"
Menel puts a hand on Herc's chest. "Not so fast, buddy boy. What's in the jar?" he demanded.
"In the, uh, nothing." Herc stammered.
"Fine, I'll just catch up with Hermes and see for myself." Menel said as he's about to head out.
"No wait! I'll tell you. It's just filled with some dumb stuff from high school. That's all."
"High school?!" Menel laughed. "I have got to-"
"No no! I mean, we've got so much to unpacked. You know, let's forget about all that high school stuff and get back to work." Hercules quickly walked out of the room.
"What are you hiding, Wonderboy?"
That night, Herc walked upstairs carrying a bed over his shoulders. "Hey, Menel, I'm going to need your opinion here." Menel is not in any of the upstairs room. "Aw, come on. Don't be that way. You're not mad just because I wouldn't let you look at that stupid-" he then gasped, "urn?"
He dropped what he was doing. Literally. He ran towards Pegasus' stable outside of the house. A storm is brewing.
"Pegasus! No, he couldn't. He wouldn't." He opens the stable to find Pegasus' nest inside empty. "He did."
Menel is riding Pegasus through the storm.
"Tell me you're not taking the scenic root!" Menel says to Pegasus, who shake his head.
They soon made it to Phil's Island. This was the first time Menel ever visited the place. He sneaks into the armory to find that jar. He spots it on a shelf. At least he thinks it's the jar, it's too dark to see. Nevertheless, he was about to reach it when the room lit up.
"Looking for something, pal?" Phil asks. Menel chuckled sheepishly. He saw that Phil was holding the jar he's seeking. "When Hermes showed up with this, I figured you wouldn't be far behind."
"Score one for the satyr." Menel complimented, as he sits on a bench. Phil joins him and sets the jar down. "I don't get it, Phil. What's the big secret?"
"Well, high school wasn't the most... graceful period of Herc's life. He's kinda embarrassed about it."
"Oh, how bad could it have been?"
"Bad." Phil stated. He tells Menel several awkward moments and disasters Hercules caused in his teenage years. Both in and out of school, especially when it comes to his hero training. Amongst them, Hercules accidentally released his father Zeus' old nemesis - Typhon, the Father of All Monsters, during the Titan Smitin' Day festival. "Oy! He was a one-man hurricane."
"Ah-ha!" Menel exclaimed as he pulled out a scroll. "Here it is, the Prometheus Academy Yearbook." He opens it up. "Let's see. Hercules, Hercules..." He spotted something which makes him laugh his head off. He points at Herc's picture, where he has a pretty goofy expression. Phil pulled the yearbook off Menel's hands.
"Hey, give the kid a break! They took that on his first day of school!"
"So Phil, what was it like raising a Wonderboy?"
"What was it like?! Sisyphus got off easy compared to me!"
"Oh come on! Herc's been a boy scout his whole life!" Menel stands up pacing. "He couldn't have been that much trouble!"
"Oh no?" Phil puts down the yearbook. "What would you say if I told you he sank this island?"
"I'd say, tell me more." Menel was intrigued.
"Well as I remember it, I was out-of-town for the whole weekend and Herc got it in his head to have a party. Of course, he couldn't pull it off without a little... divine intervention." That coming from Dionysius, the god of the wine, who threw a bacchanal for Herc and his classmates. It was a roaring success, a non-stop party all through the day and night. The noise even kept the Underworld up. "Herc's bacchanal was a big hit. Unfortunately for Herc, Poseidon likes his beauty rest." The god of the sea caused a tidal wave and sunk the island. Hercules and Hermes were able to raise it back up before Phil returned, but Hercules was unable to live with the guilt and confessed, and Phil got them both to do tracks.
"Poor Herc, he must have felt like the king of the dorks." said Menel.
"Oh no no no. That honor went to his best friend Icarus." Phil showed Menel a picture of a gangly boy with frizzled hair standing behind some long-haired girl, who doesn't look too happy having his hand on her shoulder.
"Oh, uh, Herc told me about him. He's the kid who flew too close to the sun, right?"
"Bingo!"
"Yeah, he looks a little geeky. He at least had a girlfriend, right?" Menel asked, referring to the girl on the picture.
"Icarus thought he had a girlfriend. Cassandra didn't quite see it that way." Phil stated. He mentioned the times Icarus embarrassed himself in front of Cassandra who either ignores him or is repulsed by him. He would always try to be romantic to her, but is oblivious to the fact she has no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. "Icarus was one odd kid."
"So, whatever happened to him?" asked Menel, as he sits back down.
"He went into manufacturing with his dad and made a fortune. You probably seen his ads: Icarus the Wax Wing King?"
"And Cassandra?"
"She got recruited by the Oracle Friends Network. Now they call her the Psychic Cynic to the Stars." Phil was rummaging in the jar when he saw something. "Whoa, I had forgotten all about this!"
"What?" Menel asked, reaching for the jar.
"No, I don't think so." Phil grabbed the jar and runs off. "I've shown you too much already."
"Come on, Phil. It can't be that bad." Menel chases after Phil.
"Oh, this is different. If the kid knew I showed you this."
"Right." Menel rolled his eyes. "What could be more embarrassing than sinking your island?"
"Well, how about...?" Phil decided to show him, just as Hercules come running in.
"NOOOOO!" Hercules scream in anguish, fallen to his knees, as Phil hands Menel a sheep mask.
"Herc, so glad you can make it." Menel smirked, hovering the mask over him. "So, are we going to have story time or do I have to sheer your pal?"
Herc glares at Phil. "It's not my fault! He made me do it!" Phil points at Menel. "I take no responsibility, and, uh... I'm outta here!"
"Oh, Menel, how could you?" Hercules bemoaned, as he stands up.
"Aww, can you blame a guy for wanting to know what his lover was like in his Wonderboy years?"
"All right. You win. But I warn you, it isn't pretty. It was intern week and I thought I landed the coolest job ever at Hero Wurld." But to his disappointment and embarrassment, it was actually the restaurant Gyro Wurld. His bully Adonis made him more miserable. So he quit. "My father backed me up 100%. He even got me a better job, driving Apollo's chariot. Of course, I couldn't resist showing off. That's when I lost the sun, and nearly put my father in a precarious situation. Things looked pretty dark for a while. But it all worked out in the end."
"Lost suns, sinking island, wow, your teen years made for a real shindig, Herc." Menel said. He took another look at the yearbook.
"Yeah, there was always some disaster around the corner." Herc said while making a tall sandwich. Then he squash it flat.
"So, this is the real reason you didn't want to see this stuff?" Menel asked firmly, showing the picture of young Herc with a pretty girl with a curvy body at prom.
"Uh oh. Well, her name was Galatea." Herc said as he sits down next to Menel.
"Oh... she's beautiful... perfect." Menel said in a downhearted tone. He feels jealous that Hercules was with some girl, who has her hands on his Wonderboy. He can't help but think that maybe Herc is better off with a beautiful damsel than someone like him.
"Beautiful? Yes. Perfect? No. You see, the Aphrodisia Dance was coming up and I-I couldn't get a date. Then Icarus and I got an idea. We made a woman out of clay and summoned Aphrodite. She made Galatea exactly what I wanted her to be. And that's where it all went wrong." Galatea was so possessive of Herc that she threatened any girl who got too close to him or anyone who tries to push him around. So Herc decided to break up with her. Angry, she attacked at prom. "Fortunately, Aphrodite fixed everything, sort of." He thought he'd get to know her for real, but she wasn't interested anymore and decide its best to see other people.
"You made a woman out of clay?!" Menel asked bewildered. "Why didn't I think of that?" he wondered out loud, thinking it's something he could have done when his former girlfriend ditched him.
"I was a teenage boy! It seemed like a really good idea." Hercules then grabs the yearbook. "But, you know, as disastrous as that was, that was nothing compared to Graduation Day."
Flashback
Everyone have gathered at the Prometheus Academy theater dressed in their ceremonial gowns and caps. The students are sitting at the theatron as they listen to their teacher Mr. Parentheses' speech as he stands one the skene. "And so as you head out into the world, your hearts are filled with dreams and expectations, mostly because you're woefully ignorant of the dismal job market."
"Everyone was gathered for the commencement ceremony, everyone except me."
Icarus and Cassandra noticed that their friend Hercules hasn't shown up yet, having no idea where he is or what's keeping him.
"I'm going to be late for graduation!" Hercules yelled, while running through Sparta being chased by Ares, the God of War.
"I'm going to be late for graduation!" Hercules is being chased by the Mother of All Monsters.
"Oh man, I can't be late for graduation!" Hercules is running across the River Styx, barely just missed Hades.
"But I finally made it just in time."
Herc quickly sits between his friends, his gown already torn and his cap bent, while Mr. Parentheses continues. "And so your high school education comes to a glorious conclusion, except for Adonis, who is one credit short and will have to attend summer school."
Adonis wails.
"I know pronounce you all Prometheus Academy graduates!" Mr. Parentheses finished.
The students (except Adonis) cheers and throw their caps up in the air. And so did Hercules, but because of his demigod strength, his cap sliced through and ended up destroying Prometheus Academy.
"Oops." Herc said sheepishly.
Flashback ends
"I bet you don't get invited back for alumni weekends." Menel quipped.
"You see, this is why I didn't want you to see any of this stuff!" Herc threw the yearbook away and paces around. "Now you're gonna think of me as that geeky loser! I want you to think of me as I am now, a hero." He said, putting his hands on Menel's shoulders.
Menel got close and lay his head Herc's chest. "You big lug, so you went through an awkward phase." He then pulled away. "You know what? It made you the hero you are today."
You were awkward in high school;
a little unsure.
Had a case of the clumsies
that needed a cure.
But the most precious gems,
have their roots in the rough,
Just like my hero,
the man that I love.
Made a number of blunders,
but haven't we all?
Still you always worked wonders,
with your back to the wall.
Though I'm duly impressed,
with this fisticufff stuff,
it's just a small part of,
the man that I love.
There's been hits,
a few misses,
one or two in-betweens.
A couple of kisses
and some devilish threats.
You fought monstorous battles,
made some narrow escapes,
but I'm much more in awe,
of your character traits.
'Cause you're gentle and kind,
and you never give up.
This is what makes you,
the man that I love!
I thank Zeus for this gift,
from Olympus above.
My number one hero,
The man that I love.
Menel finished his song with a kiss on Herc's lips. Herc returns the kiss and gives Menel a hug, and Menel pops a foot.
"I love the sound of your singing voice, Menel."
"You know it."
"Special delivery." Hermes announced as he shows up with a scroll in his hand and toss it to Herc.
"What's that?" Menel asked.
"Well, when I figured what you were up to, I sent Hermes a special mission to retrieve... your high school yearbook." Herc smirked.
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Wouldn't I, Menel? C'mon, there can't be anything embarrassing in your past, can there? Well, lookie here. Our little Menelas was a..." he gasped "a track runner!"
"Give me that!" Menelas runs after Hercules.
"Ha! Look at that jacket!"
"There was a group of cool guys wearing it. I was trying to fit in!" Menel claimed. "So sue me!"
"You?! Fitting in?!" Hercules teased. "Ah, you were in the Glee Club?"
Author's Note: I gloss over any mention of Hades, since he was supposed to not know Hercules was still alive until he's a young adult. So only some of his adventures in the TV series happened.