Chapter 7: Reunion

Loki's too tense to speak during the ride there. He's not ready to see Thor again but he – he needs to.

He knows what it's like to be stripped of his magic and he wasn't human, but it's close enough to what was done to Thor, and he knows how awful it is. He knows that gutted helpless terror. He knows what it means to be nothing. That Thor had just walked out on him right after Odin had bound his magic, without so much as a backward glance, that he hadn't even spoken to him again doesn't mean Loki can do the same to him.

His brother can't be handling it well. He can't be doing well at all with nowhere to go on Earth, unless he's joined with HYDRA again.

But most of all Loki can't – do this. He can't take his brother in chains for the mortals to imprison, the same way he did for Odin. Not again. But he doesn't know what to do.

Steve throws him a worried glance, but he doesn't say anything.

"Let me talk to him," Loki says finally, as they're flying the jet in.

"You think Point Break's going to want to talk?" Tony asks.

"No," he replies, jaw clenched, "But I can handle him."

No, he can't. He certainly wasn't able to before, and he's terrified to face him again. But – but Thor's mortal now. He can't... hurt him again. He never realized how scared he is of that until now. And that's –

Dealing with Thor has been hard for decades, but this so much worse and it's – He has no idea how they've become this. He just wishes that – that –

(He wishes things were normal, that his brother loved him and Loki could still go home to him whenever he wanted, that he could turn to him if he had to, ask for help if he needed to, that he was a place of safety and comfort instead of a rawly gutted fear and hurt.)

He doesn't even know, really, because the moment Thor proves himself worthy of his powers again and returns to Asgard, Loki will be back to being the shadow no one so much as looks at it but he doesn't – want Thor to be trapped as a mortal so he doesn't even know anymore.

He doesn't want to live for thousands of years after Thor died.

"Go ahead," Steve says, "We'll be right here if it doesn't go well."

Loki nods, a wild surge of gratitude flaring through him. Having people who will actually say that to him is still foreign. He didn't expect to find it here on Midgard of all places.

Loki gets off the jet first, approaching the perimeter that's been set up around where Mjolnir is.

There's some people on the ground unconscious and other people buzzing around them, trying to move the out of the way – Clearly, Thor fought his way through her already and took out everyone who was stopping him, even as a mortal.

Loki's hardly surprised by that.

The other Avengers approach the people by the perimeter and he hears Steve telling the people to let them handle the situation before Loki moves in closer, approaching Mjolnir.

Thor steps out of the shadows when he approaches.

He looks –

Mostly the same, but also somehow different. Obviously mortal. And it's strange to sense Thor while also sensing that his powers are gone.

His hair and clothes are a mess. Clearly, he hasn't found anywhere to stay in all the time he's been here. When was the last time he even had a proper meal?

"Thor," Loki starts, heart pounding. He doesn't know what to say to him. But Thor – can't hurt him and that shouldn't relax him quite as much as it does.

But it also never truly sunk in until right now that if Thor's mortal, he's going to die soon. It could be only decades away. How much of his life has he already lost, aging as a mortal? And what if he never does get his powers back? What if –

How could Odin... do this?

His brother glares at him. "Here to reclaim Mjolnir?" he asks, "When even Father already said you're unworthy?"

He doesn't want to think about that moment.

"I never wanted to wield it." It constantly reminded him of how Thor was gone and it just made it hurt even more. He doesn't know what to say to him. Can't well say any of what he wants to, knowing how Thor might react. But he's struck with the sudden desire to cry, not that he's going to right here.

"Then why take it up as soon as I was gone?" he retaliates.

Loki did not come to argue about this. He doubts that's what's upsetting Thor the most, anyway. "You're the one who punches your way through every situation." Not him. The weapon never really fit him, but Odin had given it to him and he couldn't turn down carrying it.

"It feels like Thor's," Loki had said when Odin handed it to him. He had tried to object, but Odin insisted, and he understood the reality of it.

(What does it say about him that he's invisible, unnoticed, until his brother is dead?)

"What are you here for, brother?" Thor demands, "To turn me over to the mortals who we could have ruled together if not for you?"

"No," How he'll do this he doesn't know but – "You have nowhere to stay here, do you? You allies have not helped you."

Thor scowls, but it's not hard for Loki to see past that. He's scared and lost. He couldn't be any other way without his powers. Loki knows that. "They will once I locate them."

"Without your powers, you are of no use to them. I have seen these allies you have, Thor. They are sowing chaos in the realm. If you want the mortals to welcome you as their ruler, stopping them would be where to start." He can almost hardly believe that Asgard has done nothing about it even if it is a mess the mortals really ought to be more capable of dealing with.

Thor doesn't try to argue that point. Maybe he's finally thinking about it. Doubtful, though. He's still an oaf. "They were only of use to me so long as they would serve as my army," he replies grudgingly, "But they are dishonorable warriors."

Asgardians' rules about what constitutes as honor in a fight to the death – as though killing another can ever truly be honorable – is not something Loki has ever agreed with, but in this, he more than agrees with Thor.

"Do you know of any of their members?" Loki asks. It may be too direct, too blunt, but he – needs to know. They need to get a lead on Bucky.

It is his fault that Bucky is gone. Perhaps not entirely, but it still feels that way. Whenever he tries to help, it always ends in disaster. What happened with Thor proves that more than enough.

And he can sense a little of what's happening with Bucky, thanks to the spell he put on him. HYDRA is hurting him and it's bad. It's all he can do not to tell Steve about it because telling him would not help matters.

He understands how Steve feels towards his friend, because Loki once shared the same bond with his own brother. When he was little, before they became warriors, Thor was always the one who was there, who would pull him out of whatever mess he'd made for himself, who he would turn to when he needed someone. And then they got older, and things... changed.

And then Loki fell by the wayside.

But he's worried because Bucky is not doing well. He can feel his pain even now. When he casted the spell, it was to keep constant watch on his wellbeing, and he's scarcely calmed aside from a few times where Loki is certain he is either unconscious or sleeping.

"You mean to aid these mortals in their petty squabble?"

"Their realm is under our protection. And HYDRA will betray you if they ever find you."

Thor scowls again. Loki doesn't think he's going to reply, but then he does. "Their leader is Alexander Peirce. He said he is the – scribe of the realm or whatever foolish title mortals call it There was another by the name Rumlow who I saw."

Well.

Loki has no idea what that position and he rather doubts it's the right title, but that gives him somewhere to start, at least.

"You may come with me," Loki blurts finally, "I can find somewhere for you to stay while you are here."

"The mortals you have befriended would allow that?" he asks dubiously.

He has no idea. He doubts they'll be happy but he can't – he can't arrest Thor again. "They needn't know everything," he replies finally. Fury doesn't, at least. He still doesn't know if Fury is even having Thor arrested for a genuine reason or if it's so HYDRA can ahold of him for something far more sinister. And even if Fury is innocent, it could still give HYDRA access to him.

And Loki can't let that happen. He also does need to make sure Thor isn't going to cause more chaos on Midgard but –

"We can return to Asgard," Thor objects, "If I speak to Father again – "

Loki's gut plummets at the mere words. Thor cannot be serious. "Father would not take kindly to that and you know that. And he did not want me to follow you here."

"Then why did you?"

There's many things he could say to that but he finally settles on the real answer. "Should I have left you here alone?"

Thor blinks. "I'm here because of you," he accuses finally.

He's not entirely wrong – what Loki did is what caused all this – and yet, he doesn't know if they would be in any better of a state if Thor had become king. "This is not what I meant to cause."

Truthfully, he doesn't know what to tell his brother. He is within good right to be angry. Should Loki be genuine? He knows how he feels, truly, but he is afraid to be sincere, to let Thor or anyone see who he truly is beneath the mask he's learned so long to wear.

"What did you expect?" his brother demands angrily. "That after your actions, Asgard would welcome you back?"

No, he didn't. "It wasn't meant for anyone to know."

"You betrayed all of us, Loki."

Loki truly doesn't know how to talk. He's lost his touch. In only one year of mostly isolation.

"What would you have me say, brother?" Loki inquires, "I made mistakes. And I hurt you. I came to Midgard because I – I wish to bring you home." He doesn't know what to do. The curse Odin put on Thor, or whatever it was, is twined too carefully for Loki to break, though perhaps he can try.

He just... is afraid to? If Thor's power is returned to him, he will be an enemy again, and he will fight Loki. He will be alone and forgotten again. Invisible. Unseen.

And Thor will not forgive him.

And if he doesn't try, he'll have killed his brother.

"I thought the world of you, Loki," Thor answers, "But you betrayed us all. I cannot trust you again."

I love you, he wants to say because that's the only thing that makes sense. Thor's dying and he'll be gone in what? A max of several decades? When he hasn't lived even half of his life? "I know, and I will not ask you to, but I know of a place you can stay if you are willing to come with me. You may have fought the Avengers in the past, but they are good people."

Thor frowns, face thoughtful. "Very well."

"But we should not remain here. The mortals grow restless," Loki warns.

"And you believe they will welcome me?" Thor asks.

"I will handle them. And what other option do you have?"

Thor doesn't look happy but he follows when Loki very slowly turns to go. He keeps a close eye on Thor the whole way out of the perimeter, just in case he tries something even if there's little he could do. He doesn't – trust him. Can't.

He doesn't look back at Mjolnir as he leaves. Doesn't want to know if he'd still be able to lift. If he can't, he'd rather never know and if he can –

He doesn't want to take what was Thor's, whatwill always remind him of his brother.

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