Chapter 10: Return

Bucky might've said he was fine but that doesn't mean he looks very good. Steve can't see any visible injuries, but that could mean little about how much he was hurt before – it's been nearly two weeks since they lost him. Enhanced healing can heal a lot of injuries in that time.

The look in Bucky's eyes is always so haunted now. It would've taken a lot to make him look like that. Steve's afraid to know but it feels like he ought to. Bucky was captured by Hydra twice over because he failed to keep him safe.

He's sitting next to him the entire ride back to Avengers tower, but he can't stop fearing that something's going to happen and Bucky will just be gone again.

He's been tense and silent the entire ride. Steve didn't expect anything else and Bucky never talked much before either but it feels like something more's wrong. Whatever it is, he just hopes time will be enough for him to start... getting better again.

And hopefully this time, they'll be able to stay fine. No more setbacks.

The jet finally lands by Tony's tower, and they go inside.

Bruce comes to greet them, and Thor is lingering near the doorway of the room, watching them.

Bucky instantly stiffens.

Steve should probably have thought about explaining this, too. To be fair, Steve is still getting used to the fact that Thor is here himself. He isn't overly fond of having him around, but he has to agree that they are the best equipped to keep an eye on him. And he can understand Loki not wanting to have his brother arrested. He'd certainly never let Bucky be arrested – though the circumstances are different, because Bucky would never do any of what Thor did willingly.

"Is that the... winter man?" Thor asks, staring at him.

"His name is Bucky," Steve corrects.

...And what is it with no one being able to keep the Winter Soldier title straight?

"He was with Hydra. I thought you had a disagreement with them."

Disagreement? That's one way of putting it.

Bucky's looking at Steve now, obviously wanting an explanation. That he's not just asking all the questions he probably has is concerning, though. He might not have been overly talkative since his first capture, sometimes zoning out entirely, but it was never completely quiet.

"His aid to them was unwilling, brother. Unlike yours," Loki replies. He's been unusually tense in the tower ever since Thor came here, and especially so whenever he's around. It's outwardly visible enough that Steve couldn't miss it.

Loki brushes past Thor without another word, heading elsewhere. Thor doesn't say another word to him, either.

The tension with them is obviously hurting Loki a lot. Steve wishes he knew what to say to him.

"So, Point Break," Tony says cheerfully, "You miss us while we were gone?"

"You are all the most unpleasant company I have ever had," Thor scowls.

Steve takes that as his cue to leave the room with Bucky, so they can talk privately. Bucky's very obviously also not comfortable around Thor. "We located him on Earth," Steve explains, once they're alone, "We had an agreement with Fury to bring him here and keep an eye on him. He doesn't want word of Thor's return getting out and causing a scene after the damage he caused last time, and... Loki didn't want him left in cell."

Bucky nods, still quiet.

"He... didn't hurt you when you were working together, did he?" Steve asks, just to be sure. He has no idea what kind of deal Thor had with Hydra, after all, or how far it actually went.

"No." Bucky hesitates. "He was just their ally. They told me not to follow any of his orders if it conflicted with theirs."

That Thor wasn't one of the ones actually in control of Bucky makes it a little easier to think about being around him constantly, even if Steve's still far from fond of him. Frankly, Steve doesn't really know what to say to Bucky, either. He's back, and he's here, but so many years have gone between them, even if it feels like hardly any time at all.

So much has changed, and neither of them are the same anymore.

Probably, Bucky doesn't need to think about any of what happened at all right now, which means Steve needs to think of something

Clint comes into the room then. "Anyone hungry?" he asks cheerfully.

After raiding another Hydra base and spending the past many hours dwelling on what they've done to Bucky, Steve can't say he is at all but he looks to Bucky instead. Has he even eaten anything worth speaking of since they lost him?

He hesitates long enough that Steve can already guess the answer. "We haven't eaten in a while," he agrees finally, and they follow Clint to the dining room.

Clint passes something to Bucky right off before taking a seat himself. "I know what Yelena did wasn't cool," he says, after a pause, "But you don't need to worry about her trying anything again. I talked to her for a while and... 'Tasha told me a lot about her before. It's fine if you need awhile away from her, though. What happened would be hard for anyone."

Bucky doesn't reply but he seems a bit more relaxed now that it's just the two of them than he has since they got him back.

"Are you alright with being around Yelena?" Steve queries because it's something they do need to address. If not, he's sure JARVIS could keep an eye on where they both are to make sure they don't cross paths by accident.

"I don't know what she'll... do," Bucky replies hesitantly. "I know it wasn't her, but..."

"It's okay," Clint waves it off, "I think she understands that too."

Bucky nods.

He probably just needs time.

Steve thinks he does, too.

**w**

Fury calls them in for another meeting only hours later. They're all called in, except Bucky who they leave at the tower with Loki and Jarvis. Steve does his best to ignore Tony's unhelpful quips as they enter the office again.

"Where's Loki?" Fury asks, eyeing them disapprovingly.

"He's Asgardian. He doesn't fall under petty mortal jurisdiction, remember?" Tony snips.

"Wow. You remembered what someone said enough to quote them other than yourself?" Natasha asks, "I'm impressed."

"Don't let it get to you."

"He's with his brother," Steve answers over them, trying to ignore the absolute dumpster fire of the rest of his team.

"We found some information," Natasha interrupts, moving forward up to Fury, holding the USB of whatever files they'd pulled. "HYDRA wasn't destroyed in '45. They've spread everywhere and somehow infiltrated SHIELD. Loki took out their leaders, and we have a decent sized amount of other intel."

"You never thought to tell me earlier?"

"Loki wasn't sure who to trust," Clint answers, "Alexander Peirce was their leader."

"Was?"

"Well, he's a frog now," Tony interjects, "He's probably conspiring with lilies."

"I am assuming I can thank you for why there is an entire complex leveled in DC?"

"Oh, no," Tony objects immediately, "It was just structural damage from the attack."

Steve has to grudgingly admit that all he feels when he thinks about that is a smug level of satisfactoriness. He has no regret for that. He trusts Loki's judgment, and it might not have been in battle, but all the people who were there were people who... they hurt his best friend. They – it's not easy for anyone to be reduced to what they turned Bucky into, and Steve...

He wants to know. He ought to know, but he's scared too.

Steve can't honestly tell if Fury's look is amused, exasperated, or just flat out annoyed, but he sends them out, and Natasha stays behind to talk over the details of the information they found. Acting on it probably broke a lot of rules, but there wasn't time to worry about rules under these circumstances.

Just like World War II when he took off to find Bucky. He'd known full well of what it could mean, but he did the right thing.

He did now, too.

He doesn't know what's going to happen about Hydra now but Fury has far more resources at his disposal than the Avengers themselves and Steve doesn't doubt that it's something he's going to act on immediately. And they'll be more than willing to help if they're ever needed but he hopes Fury is able to handle at least a lot of it on his own.

He spent years of his life fighting Hydra already. He'll do it again if he has to, especially if it means that Bucky will be safe, but right now he'd rather have the chance to help Bucky recover.

The most he gathers from Natasha after she does leave the meeting is that there's dozens of other Widows still out there and Fury's planning to get into contact with them. She expects he'll do the same with them that he did with her – hiring them to work for him in exchange for clearing them of any potential crimes. Hopefully, they'll only be working for SHIELD if it's something they actually want to be doing.

So maybe, Fury already has an army of his own to fight against Hydra.

At least they can hope.

**w**

It's a few days later when Tony announces that he's finally finished the arm he's made for Bucky and calls them down to his lab.

"We're gonna need a surgery," Tony says, fussing over one of his endless pieces of equipment. "Obviously, I can't do that, but I thought you'd want to look at it first. I got the schematics down, and I've about finished putting it together. What color do you want it?"

This reminds him of Howard. Jarringly – it makes his heart ache, and Bucky's face is tense and haunted. Being around Tony is hard for Steve, too, in more ways than one, but sometimes, with Bucky, it seems... different.

He's quiet. Steve lightly nudges his arm. "Buck?"

"Silver," he says, blinking a few times, shaking himself.

"Really?" Tony asks, "I was thinking something flashier, like red or gold or –"

"Tony," Steve grumbles.

"Right, right. So, just silver? Anything else? Light? Dark? There's like, y'know, a hundred shades of silver."

Steve looks between the two as Bucky slowly sits down. He's twitchy about touching anything or... doing anything. It hurts to see him like this. It's hard to know how to help. Steve isn't good at emotions. Bucky used to know how to deal with that. Steve never really...

He's good at fighting.

Not trying to sort through a mind wreck of whatever Hydra did to his best friend.

He doesn't know, only that they're fairly certain he's severely dehydrated and hasn't eaten for a long time.

Steve feels so lost, and he hates it. Everyone thinks his being Captain America means he knows this. It doesn't. It definitely doesn't give him a free pass on knowledge of how to help everybody.

Steve fades off to the background to let them talk or bond or whatever it is they're doing.

He can't decide for Bucky what he wants. This is the first choice Bucky has made in years, and he should get to choose it himself.

He's twitchy around Tony, though, and Steve waits to ask him until they're alone together again.

"He reminds me of Howard," Bucky mutters in answer, looking away. Question dodging again. He's avoiding something. "I've done – a lot, Steve. I guess it's starting to catch up to me."

It is very much not a clear answer, and Steve will respect that, but it still worries him. It's something personal, like... like he thinks he hurt him? But why?

Unease churns inside him. Maybe... he'll talk to Loki and see if he knows anything.

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