Chapter Fourteen: On the Outside

Jason's POV

"Wanna crash at my place tonight, Pam?" I ask my best friend after we were unceremoniously booted from my sister's house. I get it, Alexis has a lot to process right now and needs more than this little bit of time from Spain to Ohio to get her head on straight.

"I would appreciate that," Pam nods agreeably as we head toward my new truck. "I was surprised to have gotten the call to return to the states under these circumstances. I thought I would merely be CC'd on the next bloodline newsletter."

"I hear that," I frown in understanding as I get behind the wheel. "I'd ask if you wanna hit up a club, but you got a girl now, so our usual bonding methods probably aren't available, huh? How is Jenny, anyways?"

"She is well, but things with her family are going to hell," Pam confesses.

"How so?"

"We met in Korea because she had come to visit her father. She actually grew up mostly in the United States," she tells me. "She recently graduated from college, and had gone back to Korea for what she thought would be congratulations, perhaps even a job offer. Instead she was thrust in the middle of a marriage proposal arranged by her parents and some CEO's son."

"Ouch," I blanch. "I know how much you hate arranged marriages."

"I detest them," she agrees. "Anyway, she is in the middle of a feud with her family because she is refusing to move forward with it. That is why she could not accompany me back to the states. I left her with some money for a ticket back to Ohio if worse comes to worse, but…"

"But?" I press, knowing by the not-expression-on-her-face that she has doubts that Jenny will leave her family for her.

"It feels real, Jason," Pam looks at me with a desperation I ain't seen since she tried to convince me to Bond to her all them years ago. "But what if I'm wrong? What if she doesn't choose me?"

"Even with the accelerated maturing you and I do, we're still awful young to feel the compulsion to Bond," I point out. I see Pam's eyes go dim and offer, "But you ain't one to get stuck on yer feelings. I gotta think it's the real deal." I glance at her sideways as I drive toward my house. "Maybe Godric would be someone to talk to about all that? I mean, with Eric being preoccupied with the kids and all."

"I can't believe Leif is Bonded and Alexis might soon be, too," Pam shakes her head in disbelief.

"Right?" I look at her in bafflement. "They're just kids!"

"The same age your sister was," Pam points out.

"Eh, it's different though. Me and Sooks were old for our ages," I argue. "Not that I'd wish on them any of the hardships we had, but Leif and Alexis…" I stop suddenly. Maybe they didn't have it as easy as I think. After all, me and Sooks had our struggles, but we didn't do survival training when we was just hitting puberty. I didn't get stuck having to kill a bunch people just to save my own life. And if Leif really is a Seer now, he's gonna be seeing a whole bunch of shit he'll never un-see. They've also had to keep deep secrets from their friends and teachers their entire lives. "Maybe those kids have just had a different type of difficult to live through. Maybe it's just hard to see the difference now that I'm older."

Pam nods slowly in agreement as I pull up to the house. We get out and I'm surprised as I realize Pam has no luggage. "Great, you're gonna be dragging me out to go shopping as soon as the stores open in the morning, aren't you?"

"You know me so well," Pam replies with her cat-ate-the-canary grin. "Until then, you know what I'm in the mood for?"

"No," I tell her with my most assertive tone. "They will kill me."

"Don't be so selfish," Pam scowls. "I can't do it without some help, and I'm the only member of the Gaul line that doesn't have it."

"Pam, seriously, Eric and Godric would kill me if I went flying without one of them. They'd double kill me if I took you up." I've only flown a few dozen times since I found out I had the ability at the beginning of the year.

"Please?"

Well shit, Pam never asks nicely for nothin'. I can't just tell her no when she asks all polite.

"Fine," I relent, heading to my bedroom to find some dark clothes and caps. The less we stand out the better.

"Excellent," Pam purrs as she follows me into the bedroom. We both quickly change into dark clothes, covering as much of our pale skin and hair as possible. Once we're good and covered, we go out to the backyard. I wrap Pam up in my arms, look all around for witnesses, and then shoot up into the sky like a cork outta a bottle. "Thank you," Pam whispers in my ear once we come to a stop, hidden in the clouds. "This has always been my favorite view," she tells me. "A pity I don't get to see it unless someone else is flying."

"Maybe you could get your pilot's license," I comment. At her following, thoughtful silence, I get the impression that she's seriously thinking about it. "Bet Godric and Eric would even let you buy your own jet as long as you promised to chauffeur the family for special events."

"That is quite tempting," Pam mumbles. "Although, then it would mean I would be flying everywhere and wouldn't have an excuse to be flown around by others."

"Yeah, but think if Jenny got to be your co-pilot and you got to take her flying like I'm taking you. Can't buy that kinda romance," I tease, but frown when I feel Pam move ever so slightly. "Pam?" I press worriedly.

"Do you think it's the real thing?" Pam asks me quietly, this time questioning me instead of herself.

"Are you asking 'cause you really doubt it, or are you asking 'cause you think you're too young for it to be real?" When she hesitates, I think I got my answer. "Imagine you're a thousand. Hell, imagine you're two-thousand. If your age wasn't a factor, if you didn't think you were jumping the gun-"

"It's not her," Pam whispers.

"Oh?" I'm surprised she can lie to herself so easily when I can tell just by her face she feels the exact opposite. "Then why did it look like your heart broke clean down the middle just now?"

"Because I do love her," Pam answers. "But this isn't a transformative love. Aren't I supposed to feel worthless without her? Aren't I supposed to be missing her so painfully that I am resisting the urge to catch the next flight back to Korea?"

"That," Pam and I both startle at the sudden voice near us, finding Eric hovering nearby, "is not indicative of a potential Bonded."

"Especially," we flinch again at Godric's voice behind us, "when a connection has yet to even be forged."

"Shit," I grumble, "I'm in trouble, aren't I?"

"I think a vampire family flight seems like a pleasant relief from the day," Eric offers me a get outta jail free card.

"How's Lex?" I ask.

"Sookie is sleeping with her tonight. I do not believe we will know the true depth of her emotions for a few days. It needs time to sink in," Eric explains.

"Alexis is a lot stronger than you give her credit," Pam points out. "She's far more like you than you've ever been willing to accept."

"She learned how to play nice from Sookie, but she definitely has your ability to compartmentalize," Godric adds, agreeing with her.

"Yeah, but she's still a kid," I snarl. "Maybe Eric fought off a whole village when he was her age, but the times make a big difference. Lex ain't a sociopath, after all. Even if she can rationalize it, in today's age, it's not the norm to have to kill off a baker's dozen worth of people just to survive."

"My daughter is strong. I have never doubted that." Eric places his hand on my shoulder, as if thanking me for my defense towards Alexis' delicacy. "But her strength, her ability to compartmentalize, is in the capacity of a healer, not a warrior. I trained my children to defend themselves. I warned them about not holding back in that defense. Alexis showed just how strong she is, proved that she took my teachings seriously, but I know that her heart is wounded. That healing nature of hers is devastated right now, and I think only her mother can mend it."

"She will be alright, Eric," Godric tells him comfortingly. "Between Sookie and Quigley, she will find inner peace."

"Has she said anything about Quigley?" Pam asks, jumping on the topic of a potential Bonding. I know her insecurity couldn't resist.

Eric frowns. "She is fighting it. I think she has some sort of misconception about Bonding. Being surrounded by couples who have been Bonded for a couple decades, and then watching her brother Bond so quickly to someone who has been ready for him to come into her life has caused her to falter in her feelings." I can practically feel Eric staring at Pam, daring her to say something about Jenny. When Pam doesn't cave, Eric continues as though he has been asked. "You think that, too, do you not, Pam?"

"Is it wrong?"

"Quite. Have you forgotten that Sookie could not stand me at first? Do you forget that Godric mistook his reciprocated interests for Camilla as Stockholm Syndrome? The question is not if you could let Jenny go, the question is if you could love anyone else so much. Can you imagine that, Pamela? A woman that makes you happier? Stronger? Braver? Can you think of a single person you could pair her with other than yourself?" Eric presses her.

"Pam," I squeeze her tightly in my arms, "when you think of Jenny, are you relieved I refused to let you Bond to me?"

Pam's head tilts back to look at me with wide eyes.

"YOU WHAT!?" Eric shouts in complete surprise.

"I offered to Bond with him to make him part of the bloodline without losing his pulse and appetite," Pam confesses. "It was not an offer made out of an urge to Bond. It was nothing like…"

"Like it is with Jenny," I smirk at her. She squeezes me a little to hard, responding to my accusation with annoyance.

"Pamela," Eric smiles, "I think it is time that you truly come home and let Jenny start finding her place in the family. After all, how can we come to love her if you do not let us know her?"

"What if you don't like her?" Pam grumbles.

"If we can put up with you, I'm sure Jenny will be a walk in the park," I tease, earning another warning squeeze.

After a few moments thought, Pam finally responds, "I will make the offer when I return to Korea and ask her to return with me to the states. Hopefully, she has finally recognized that this roundabout method of dealing with her family is a failure."

Even though Eric had suggested that the two of them come to Ohio several months ago, Pam hadn't actually, officially, moved back. She'd told us it was because things with Jenny's family were still needing to be resolved, but she still flew back regularly.

"Actually," Godric interrupts, "take your time. With the children off to California for college, the next few years especially are going to involve preparing for our transition to Elfyria. It may be prudent to relocate back to Louisiana so we have access to the gate. Camilla has commented several times that she wants to research how her magic is influenced within that realm so she can prepare to assist Sookie."

Eric frowns thoughtfully, but nods. "Pam, how would you feel about bringing Jenny down to Louisiana and finding homes for everyone?"

Pam's eyes glow, "Do I get to decorate?"

"As long as you remain considerate of everyone's personal tastes," Eric agrees. "Besides, if Jenny can survive you while you are in renovation mode, you might finally have your last shred of reassurance that she is the one."

Pam's POV

My return to Korea is intended to be a short one. After a follow-up meeting with the entire family plus Diedre and Quigley- I suppose they will be included as part of the family seeing as Diedre is Bonded to Leif and Alexis proclaimed she was ready to start the Bonding ritual with Quigley- our newest members of the family were brought up to speed on our future obligations to Elfyria. Our newest additions were surprised by the revelation but surprisingly accepting of the terms.

It was quickly agreed that Quigley and Alexis would complete their Bond sometime before Alexis was to leave for Stanford and get a place together. Diedre would be following Leif to UCLA. In the meantime, I suppose everyone will be in and out of the Northman residence, but Diedre does not wish to go public with her new abilities until after Quigley has obtained his own protection.

If our family keeps growing, those we have not bound to the family have a giant target on their backs. This knowledge makes me all the more worried for Camilla's "baby girl". If that child ever breaks free from its prettification, and Camilla truly takes it on as her own child, it will be our greatest weakness. Of course, being a daemon, it will eventually have the magic to protect itself just fine, but I worry for the creature already. Hopefully Godric and Eric are already planning for ways to keep the little thing safe if Camilla manages to break its curse prior to restoring Elfyria.

I finally arrive at my apartment and take out my key. I can hear the television playing inside and feel my chest fill with excitement that I will see Jenny again, even if it has only been five days.

Opening the door, I see the pale, smooth leg hanging over the arm of the couch. I hear her pulse accelerate against her ribs when she hears the door open. Next thing I know, Jenny leaps from the couch and into my arms.

"You're back already!" She crows happily.

"Yes, but for a short time," I confess. Jenny pouts at my words. "Will you go back with me this time?"

"For how long?" Jenny asks.

"How about forever?" I suggest. Jenny's jaw slackens at my offer, and I watch delightedly as her arms flop several times against her sides as she scrambles to respond.

"Forever?"

"If you're ready," I nod. "Have you talked to your family about your marriage?"

Jenny rolls her eyes. "Talk? I haven't gotten so many words into the conversation. Any time I've tried to voice my opinion, I get drowned out with wedding planning. The night you left, I told my dad I am not going through with this wedding. He slapped me in the face and then it was never mentioned again. The wedding planning just went on."

I have to shut my eyes and find my center when Jenny tells me her father struck her. It is not just the urge to break her father's neck that has me needing to sooth myself. I am also reminded vividly of my own refusal to marry back when I too was human.

"Are you prepared to never see your family again, Jenny?" I ask softly, knowing if I try to speak any louder, the words will be shrill with rage. "Will you run away with me?"

"My family will cut me off," Jenny tells me. "I'll have nothing."

"You will have me, and you will have my family," I assure her. "I will support you through everything."

"I can't accept that," Jenny shakes her head. "I can't stand to be a burden on you, and just… turning my back on my family… I can't let myself disrespect them like that, can I?"

"Do you love me, Jenny?"

"Yes! Of course I do!" She replies immediately, without missing a beat.

"Then you are not a burden," I assure her. I see the hesitation still residing in her gaze. "The only way for them to not feel disrespected by you is to marry the man they chose. Are you willing to do that?" I ask.

"No," she confesses. "I can't."

"Then marry me," I tell her. "Come with me to the states and I will marry you. Then there isn't a thing they can do. My family will be yours. I will be yours, and you won't owe any of us a thing."

"I'm scared," Jenny confesses, and her eyes, brimming with tears mellow the earlier anger I felt toward her father. It is difficult to feel anger when I know the one I care about above all others is suffering.

"The marriage can wait for you to think it over," I murmur, brushing her hair from her face. "But will you still come with me? If after you get to truly know my family, maybe the decision will be easier?" My suggestion seems to calm Jenny, and she nods as she swipes away the tears that have begun dripping from her cheeks. "We need to pack, then."

Together, we pack up my apartment until only the furniture and more permanent fixtures remain. Thankfully, despite Eric's reprimands, I have been shipping my belongings back to the states over the past couple months.

"Do you have your passport?" I ask Jenny who raises her eyebrows at me. "I will take that as a yes," I laugh, picking up the much heavier luggage while she picks up the lighter bags. It would look too unnatural if I were to carry them all. "Grab my phone, start booking us tickets," I suggest as we begin our way down the hallway. When we make it to the elevator, Jenny shows me the flights she has found and I nod for her to go ahead and complete the purchase.

On the way to the airport, I drop by a parcel shop to ship my heavier items to my usual drop. Finally, we arrive at the airport and I deal with our remaining baggage before going to wait with Jenny for our boarding call.

"You are shaking," I comment, noting her trembling fingers.

"It's just all happening so fast, and I'm still not used to how quickly you move," she tells me quietly.

"I didn't realize I was using my speed!" I am surprised to find I had moved at vampire speed. Slowly, I have been acclimating Jenny to my vampirism. Because our bloodline does not have fear of the sun, Jenny regularly forgets what I am.

"No, not literal speed, but how quickly you plan and execute those plans," she tries to explain.

"Once we are settled, things will slow to a glacial pace," I assure her. "Right now, my concern is getting you as far from your fiancé as possible. After that, I promise, no more pushing or rushing you into anything. It's your pace the moment we arrive in Louisiana."

"We aren't going to Ohio?" Jenny asks in alarm.

"Only for a brief stop. I must tell my … Eric needs to know what is going on." Jenny nods in vague understanding, still confused by vampires and even more confused by my particular bloodline.

Being in a public area, neither of us can truly risk an open discussion on the matter. If I am honest with myself, there is a temptation to destroy Jenny's phone so her father cannot track her. But she is well over eighteen, and I am more than prepared to marry her the second we land if that is what it takes to break his hold on her. I would much rather she come to that decision on her own and without it being the solution to an inconvenience.

The honest truth is, Jenny isn't the spoiled, little rich girl that I thought would be nice to screw around with because she's so damned beautiful. Sure, the thought crossed my mind briefly when we first met while she was trying, poorly, to pick pocket me.

In only a few days I found myself falling in love with this young woman who was thrust into the United States, barely knowing English, but pushed herself and thrived. She fought against the isolation through music, learning to play with others through a common interest that needed few words.

She loves music so much that she double majored in economics and music. Economics to meet her father's demands and music to meet the demands of her own heart. At only twenty-three, she plays six instruments, including the gayageum. Although she mostly leans towards string instruments, she can also play the flute and obo. My dream is to build her a music room where she can play to her heart's content, and I can exist with that music flowing around me day after day for forever.

"Pam?" Jenny squeezes my hand. "Our flight is boarding.

"Right," I nod, having only vaguely heard the call as I daydreamed about a future with this beautiful woman. "Let's go."

TBC

A/N: Please, remember to review!

-Andi