Chapter 24

I miss you now, what's come over me?

We're hostages of geography

The wait is long, and heavy too

Despite what you're accustomed to

I know that life moves on, that's what scares me so

Have no intentions of letting go

Villains of Circumstance by Queens of the Stone Age

"No." The word came out as a barely audible whisper.

"I'm sorry," Will repeated.

"I want to come with you."

He carefully held my face between his hands and looked directly into my eyes. "You can't. You have classes to attend. I won't let you throw away your plans, for me."

Tears blurred my vision and I closed my eyes to hide them, but they only spilled over, instead. "Plans change. You're more important."

He swiped my tears away with the pads of his thumbs and pulled me against his chest, resting his chin on top of my head. "I need you to stay here, where I know you'll be safe. I need to keep you as far away from the press attention surrounding the trial as possible."

When I didn't answer, he continued, "Charles is staying here as well. He's already made arrangements to work remotely through December so he can spend time with Jane until her winter holiday from school. I believe he plans to bring her to England for Christmas."

I sniffed. "I don't need a babysitter," I mumbled into his chest.

Will sighed wearily as he leaned back in his chair and met my eyes. "I know. I would just feel better if you weren't alone."

I nodded, resigned.

"I'll be back as soon as I'm able, I promise."

I knew he was right. The last thing he needed was more reason for the media sharks to swarm. And I was chum. Great. I also understood that he'd be busy, and the last thing I wanted was for him to feel guilty about not being able to spend time with me on top of the stress load he was already carrying. "I don't like it, but I'll be here when you get back." I pressed my lips together in a hard line. "And I promise to text and answer my phone. Even if I'm sick," I winked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

He kissed my temple. "You promise to do so?"

I smiled a little. "Yes." He raised an eyebrow. I leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. "I promise."

Will tucked my hair behind my ear. "'Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey.'"

"Byron," I laughed tightly.

He gave a single nod.

"So, when is Charles planning to tell Jane he's taking her to England for Christmas?" I asked. Jane hadn't mentioned it to me, and I was sure she would have if she'd known.

"It's supposed to be a surprise," Will admitted.

"Ah," I nodded. "So, what's he planning?"

His brow furrowed. "What is it with women? They always want to know what isn't their business so that they can go tell it to other women whose business it also isn't."

I patted his cheek. "I know you didn't mean for that to sound as condescending as it did, so dish."

He opened his mouth to retort, but I could see the mischievous flash in his eyes, and I pressed my fingertips against his mouth. "Watch it," I warned, forcing myself to smile. He placed a kiss on my fingers, and I swallowed past the painful lump in my throat and dropped my hands to rest on his shoulders. "It'll be okay. We'll be okay," I said, to reassure myself as much as Will.

"I know," he whispered.

My eyes moved over him, taking in his atypically untidy appearance. "This is an interesting look for you." I ran my fingers through his disheveled hair, unsuccessfully attempting to finger-comb it flat.

"You don't like my stressed out, devil-may-care look?" he asked.

I rose from his lap and sat on the edge of the table in front of him, crossing my arms over my chest. I pursed my lips and narrowed my eyes speculatively. "Quite the contrary; it does have a certain appeal." I ruffled his dark hair.

Will eyed me hungrily.

"No need for the flirty smoldery look, you've already won me over," I laughed.

"Where's the fun in that?" he replied. "I intend to flirt with you every chance I get, for the rest of my life. Besides, I need to make sure I provide you with enough motivation to actually answer your phone and call me while I'm away."

I clapped my hand over his mouth and gave him a wry look. "I said I was sorry, and I promised, so can we please just drop the subject?"

Will continued to stare at me with narrowed eyes, full of mischief.

"I'll remove my hand from your mouth if you nod once in agreement," I bargained.

Instead of nodding, he stuck his tongue out and licked my palm. I jerked my hand away from his mouth. "Ew!" I exclaimed, wiping my hand on the sleeve of his t-shirt. "Geez, how old are you?"

"Old enough to know how to even the score with you, apparently," he returned, with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Gross," I muttered, giving my palm one last vigorous scrub on his shoulder. "We're not keeping score."

He raised an eyebrow. "Aren't we?"

I shook my head slowly, meeting his stare. "No."

"We should start."

"No," I laughed. "We shouldn't."

His smirk turned into a grin. "You only say that because you're already behind."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Fine! You're on, Darcy." I darted my hands to his sides to tickle him.

He seized my wrists before I was able to move my fingers and held them in front of his chest where he transferred both wrists to his left hand, holding onto them tightly. I tried tugging once, to no avail. "I believe that was a point for me," I said.

He eyed me speculatively. "I don't think so. You didn't even have the opportunity to attack before I stopped you, so it doesn't count."

I glared at him. "Don't make me make you take that back."

He released my wrists and grabbed my waist. "'Tempt not a desperate man,' Elizabeth."

I shook my head. "No, no quoting Romeo and Juliet. That's not funny. Much too dark and tragic."

He gave me a bewildered look. "Oh, but you're fine with Byron?"

I tilted my head to one side. "Scandalous, I can handle. Depressing mush that ends tragically due to the blatant stupidity of the two main characters, not so much."

"I do envy Romeo one thing though," Will said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, what's that?"

"His marriage," his hands dropped to my hips, where he tightened his grip. "At least he got to be a husband to his wife in every sense of the word before he was exiled."

I scoffed. "You're not being exiled, and there are no husbands and wives here, so your point is moot."

"Not so moot," he replied in a low voice. As if to prove his point, he leaned forward in his chair and kissed me hard, pulling me off the edge of the table at the same time. I landed hard on his lap, my legs straddling his, the jar of the landing breaking the kiss.

"Ow!" I laughed.

Will grimaced but laughed as well. "I'm, sorry. Are you all right?"

I smiled in return and bit my lip. "I'm fine. Not sure about you, though."

His eyes dropped to my lips, and then back to my eyes as he ran his hands over my back. I closed my eyes, trying to memorize how his touch felt. When he balled his hands into fists, clutching the fabric of my shirt, I opened my eyes to see his own shut so tightly that deep lines creased the corners. I traced one of the lines from the corner of his eye to his temple with a fingertip, prompting him to open them. In them, I read the same fear that I felt. He kissed me then, with the same intensity that he had when he'd showed up on my doorstep a couple of weeks before.

All too soon, he pulled back, and I recognized the look of resignation in his eyes that usually signaled his withdrawal from all things physical before they went too far. I thrust my fingers through his hair, and kissed him again, desperate to prolong the moment. I tried to notice everything, to commit to memory the taste and feel of his kiss, the warmth of his hands against my skin, and the sensations his touch evoked in me; the way my heart felt—so alive and full of love—and the nearly overwhelming need to be closer to him.

With a resigned sigh, I ended the kiss and rested my forehead against his.

"Let's go get some coffee before I have to pack," Will suggested reluctantly.

"Ah, is the 'desperate' man no longer tempted then?" I teased.

He took a deep breath and helped me up. "Desperately tempted, hence the distraction of coffee."

OOOoooOOOoooOOO

I somehow got through the rest of the day, even though it felt like half my heart was being ripped from my chest. I held it together as we walked through the airport to the security checkpoint and while I hugged Georgiana and Richard, and even when I kissed Will goodbye one last time. But when I watched him walk away, head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd, and disappear through the security checkpoint and into the terminal, grief hit me like a punch to the chest. I dropped my head and put a hand over my heart, to try to stop the physical pain of it.

I felt Charles' arm come around my shoulders. "It'll be alright, Lizzy," he reassured me.

Seeming to sense what I needed, he said, "Let's go for a walk. You look like you could use some fresh air."

I nodded. We made our way out of the airport and back to my Jeep. We found a parking spot by the nearby riverfront and set out for a walk. The outdoors and fresh air restored my spirits a bit. Charles walked alongside me without talking, as if he knew I needed the quiet.

When we were halfway across The Bob—the pedestrian bridge that spans the Missouri River between the Nebraska and Iowa border—when I stopped and looked over the edge of the rail.

Charles stopped next to me and leaned against the side. "The two of you make each other better."

"Hmm? I asked, turning my attention to him. It was the first time he'd spoken since we'd left the airport.

He smiled. "You bring out life and happiness in Will, and he brings out confidence and strength in you. You balance out each other's weaknesses perfectly."

I closed my eyes against the tears that welled up in them.

He wrapped me in a hug.

"Thanks." I pressed my lips together as I struggled not to break down. "He's gone and it hurts, and I don't know why. I mean, it's not like he isn't coming back eventually, but I still feel…" I trailed off, unable to explain what I was feeling, the tangle of emotions making me more confused than ever.

His arms tightened around me momentarily before he released me and rested his hands on my shoulders. "I know," he smiled down at me.

I resumed walking and he fell into step beside me. Desperate for a distraction from my inner turmoil, I said, "Will tells me you're planning to take Jane to England for Christmas."

Charles looked surprised. "Oh, he told you that, eh?"

"I promise I won't tell Jane," I assured him. "I think it's really sweet."

He blushed. "Thank you for your discretion."

I laughed. "Of course. Have you guys discussed a date for the wedding?"

He shrugged. "We just decided last night, after the engagement party, actually. We were thinking of New Year's Eve."

I stopped in my tracks. "That would be amazing! Jane's always wanted a holiday wedding. But how will you pull it off if you're planning to take her home for Christmas?"

"We'll have everything ready before we go. I plan to leave Omaha the weekend before the holiday so that we can spend a week in England and then come home the day after Christmas. That'll still give us about a week to finish up any last-minute details."

I grinned and bounced on my toes. "I'm so excited!"

Charles smiled in reply.

We resumed our walk and when we stepped onto Iowa soil, we turned and headed back the way we'd come.

OOOoooOOOoooOOO

The human mind is an interesting thing. That it can jump from happiness, to fear, despair, sadness, resignation, and numbness, within a six-hour time period is amazing…and exhausting. The numbness wore off at about 8 p.m.

Will texted when he landed in Chicago and again in Dublin. He called early the next morning to let me know he'd made it safely back to Pemberley. We talked for a little while, but I could tell he was exhausted.

Eventually, he got his arrival workload and legal affairs surrounding the trial sorted out, and we were able to adopt a semi-regular communication routine.

With Charles as my temporary neighbor, I was able to spend more time with him and get to know him better. His happy-go-lucky personality kept my spirits afloat. Georgiana and I communicated on Skype several times a week, and Richard kept me shaking my head with the bad jokes and puns he texted me.

The legal tangle wrapped up relatively quickly. Wickham had pleaded guilty to the charge of attempted murder, so the other charges were dropped. He received a sentence of forty years in prison, with the possibility of parole after twenty-five years.

The trouble with Darcy Enterprises' shareholders, however, took longer to sort out. Weeks passed, and then a month.

OOOoooOOOoooOOO

It turned out Charles had a competitive streak that extended far beyond a fun hand of poker or Go Fish. Over the past five weeks, he'd invited me to go on runs with him. I'd agreed and although he ran faster than I usually did, I'd kept up with him fairly easily. Today, however, it had been rainy and cold – typical November weather – and he'd planned to stay indoors and do a HIIT workout instead.

Although he hadn't come out and said it, I knew he thought I would slow him down. All he'd said when I asked if I could try a workout with him, was that he didn't want me to get hurt because Will would probably kill him. I considered that a gauntlet thrown down. I'd stupidly told him that I considered it a challenge, and he'd held me to it.

It had taken everything in me not to lay down and die after the first 40 minutes of the workout - the man didn't even take water breaks or rest between sets, and I was determined not to do so either. I made it through the whole hour, even though I'd wanted to throw up after the last set of burpees. I staggered back to my condo on shaky legs, not sure if I should lay on the floor or get to the bathroom to vomit. I wisely chose the latter, and after a shower, I sat down on the sofa with a protein shake that trembled in my still-shaking hand.

The Skype tone sounded on my laptop and I answered the call. "Hey," I greeted. "How's everything going?" I raised my blender bottle to take a drink of the protein shake.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, his forehead furrowed with concern, his eyes focused on my unsteady hand.

I swallowed the chalky liquid and set the bottle down on the coffee table. "Nothing. Just tired."

"Are you not sleeping well?" he asked.

"I just worked out with Charles."

Will raised an eyebrow. "Oh, no. Interval training with burpees?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly in acknowledgment.

He nodded toward my hand. "You're still shaking because your blood sugar is probably low."

"Yeah…probably. I got sick, too," I laughed. "He doesn't mess around, does he?" I knew I should've kept my mouth shut.

Will's face lost all expression. "Have you been tested for hypoglycemia before?"

I sighed heavily. "No, I'm not hypoglycemic. Just out of shape apparently, would you chill?"

Will pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Sorry."

I laughed. "It's okay. I love you."

He dropped his hand and looked back at me. "I love you, too. I just worry."

I met his eyes through the screen. "I know."

"So," he said, changing the subject, "I've been working on a project since I returned home. I'm going to be sending you something. It's due to arrive next Thursday. When you receive the package, call me, no matter what time it is. Don't open it beforehand, please."

"Okay…" I replied, confused.

"Trust me on this, Elizabeth."

"I've heard that before," I answered with a short laugh.

"You're exasperating," Will sighed.

"Think of how boring your life would be, if I wasn't," I countered.

"Touché, love."

"Thank you," I replied with as regal a nod as I could muster.

OOOoooOOOoooOOO

The package from Will arrived on my doorstep the following Thursday, as promised. I picked up the shoebox-sized parcel, carried it to the couch, and checked the time on my computer screen. It was three o'clock, so it would be late evening for Will. I clicked on his Skype contact icon, and he answered after the second ring.

"Did it arrive?" Will asked with a grin.

I picked up the box from where it rested on the couch and held it up in front of the computer screen. "Unopened, as promised."

"Good," he replied with a nod.

"This feels oddly covert. What's up with the rules for this thing anyway?"

He grinned. "Open the box, but don't open what's inside yet."

I froze and gave him a bemused look. "Seriously?"

"Trust me."

I took a deep breath and turned my attention to the unassuming package, wrapped in brown paper, and opened it. After I'd removed the wrappings, I lifted the lid of the box and pulled out several layers of packing paper. When I got to the bottom of the box, I found a leather-bound book, about six inches wide, by nine inches tall with three red ribbon markers sticking out from between the pages. I carefully lifted it out of the box and looked up at Will's image on the computer screen, a question in my eyes.

"It's my journal," he explained. "Well, the parts I wrote about you, anyway. I copied it from the original. I'm not always good at expressing what I'm thinking or feeling, so I thought this would help communicate exactly how I feel about you and how I fell in love with you."

I looked down at the leather-bound volume in my hands in awe, unable to speak.

Will's voice drew my attention to the screen again. "Read to the first marker tonight, to the second marker tomorrow, and then read the final marker Saturday evening." He dropped his eyes before looking back up at me again. "Please, don't read ahead. Promise me."

"I promise," I smiled, my throat tight with emotion.

"I have a meeting in thirty minutes, so I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright? I love you, Elizabeth."

"I love you, too," I replied, trying to hold back my tears. When Will ended the call, I lowered my eyes to the book that was, in essence, the very heart of the man who loved me and smiled.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Note: The next chapter(s) (not sure yet if I want to do the journal in one chapter or break it up into two) are going to take some serious crafting to get them *just* right, so bear with me, timeline wise. I have the outlines completed, but it may take a week or two to complete them, which will push publication out to about two weeks, instead of one. I promise, it will be worth it! At least I hope so. :). Feedback is so, so helpful, and all comments and reviews are greatly appreciated! I do read them all and they're what helps me make stories better because you guys are great at pointing out things that just don't add up! Thanks for your time and patience.