Autumn In Philadelphia Trilogy

by Mercedes Aria

Book III Saudade: The family returns to Philadelphia for Spring Break. Jon and Shawn finally sit down and explore the reasons for their estrangement with everyone who was there.

78. Saudade: Return of the Pink Flamingo Kid

I made it back again! And I return with good news/bad news.

Bad news: It looks like updates will be every two/three months now, unfortunately. My time to write has been restricted for the time being and these chapters are taking longer to craft.

Good news: My plagiarism case is finally over. For more details about who and what, please see end notes.

This flashback chapter is between the scenes for "The Pink Flamingo Kid". There are a few scenes from the episode recounted so assume if dialogue sounds like it's from the show it is.

Jon's recollection of being on the roof with Audrey and Shawn's birthday jersey are from "Birthday Wishes and Valentine Kisses" upcoming scenes. The story is currently on hiatus as I don't have time to write both unfortunately.

For more information about legal guardian laws in the 90s, please see the Author's Note on the chapter: Ties that Bind

TW: Non-graphic description of attempted drowning.

---

At first, it was twenty minutes late for curfew.

"Trolley went off the track."

The corner of Jon's mouth twitched. "Trollies don't run on tracks."

Shawn gave an unbothered shrug. "Well, if they did I wouldn't have been late."

Then it was forty-five minutes.

"Took the 15," he said as he kicked off his shoes and left them in a haphazard pile. "Some idiot double parked on Richmond Street. Nothin' to do but wait on said idiot to move his junker."

Jon crossed his arms over his chest. "The 15 stopped runnin' in '92."

Shawn blinked. "It was the 13 then."

Jon's fists went to rest on his waist. "You said you were on Richmond Street. The 13 doesn't run there."

Shawn sniffed, shrugged, and rolled his eyes until Jon sent him to his room.

Then it was one hour late.

Then it was two.

By the time Shawn turned up three hours late, Jon had already called the Matthews ten times and talked to Cory specifically eight times.

Cory insisted Shawn was out with Jennifer Biermann, but Jon was convinced he was covering for the teen again. No matter how much Jon pleaded, bargained, and threatened, Cory wouldn't turn him in. By the end of the eighth call, Cory was in tears and had confessed to everything he'd ever done wrong since kindergarten. He would have confessed further back but he couldn't remember anything before age five other than Topanga.

Cory not knowing where Shawn was scared the life out of him.

Armed with a phonebook on his lap and a phone in his hand, Jon called every Biermann in the book looking for one that had a Jennifer out with a Shawn all while cursing himself for not having her parents' number in case something like this happened. He finally found her after being hung up on and rudely shouted at forty or so times.

Jennifer had no idea where Shawn was. He had called her two hours before their date and cancelled. Something about getting a sloth she said.

Jon then went out and pounded on the door of every possible house Shawn could be at, including Feeny's. He found nothing but angry looks and even angrier words, especially from Feeny who didn't appreciate the midnight visit. So he went home and began to call all the hospitals in the city both to check to see if Shawn ended up in one and to find the best one to send him to when he did finally come home.

In Shawn's defense he had no idea any of this was going on.

Immediately after cancelling on Jennifer, he headed to the roof and curled up on a folding chair next to the mechanical penthouse to watch the sunset and to daydream. With his Sony MDR-V6 headphones, a Christmas gift from Jon and Audrey, blocking out the sounds of the city, he had hit shuffle on his Discman and had fallen asleep as Blue-Sky Buildings played. He didn't wake up when the album was over because he'd also set it on repeat. By the time the night air was cold enough to wake him, it was three hours past curfew.

There was no doubt that an angry Jon would be waiting for him, if he wasn't still out at the pool hall with Eli. It bothered him that Jon might not be waiting, ready to rage at him for being stupid.

For not calling.

For being late.

What he was doing wasn't right he knew, but it was necessary. It was necessary to be late. It was necessary to have an attitude when confronted. It was necessary not to care. After that night at the Matthews when Jon stormed out on him, everything changed. Shawn saw the writing on the wall for them.

They couldn't survive without Audrey.

They'd never learned how to.

So rather than having to face getting more attached and having their hearts break again, he decided to end things now. The way he saw it, the only way to end things was to go back to Chet even though he did not want to.

There wasn't anything less Shawn wanted than to go back to the way things were. To the confusion and fear, the uncertainty, the anger, the pain. But there was no other way around the mess they were in. Jon was stubborn and his dating was proof he wasn't going back to Audrey.

Eventually they would part ways, they had to. No woman Jon brought home would want a teenager like him. He knew that from all the women Jon had brought home before Audrey and while she was with them. They wanted Jon not him. And that meant, there would come a point Jon would have to choose between him and the future Mrs. Turner. It wasn't fair to Jon to keep him; he was almost eighteen and would be on his own soon.

Where would that leave Jon? Alone?

And if Jon chose the future Mrs. Turner?

Shawn shut that thought down immediately and convinced himself that it was selfish to make Jon choose between a short-term future and the rest of his life. Besides, it would be much easier for an adult to be rejected by a kid than the other way around. Eventually, Jon would get it over and move on with his life, and rarely, if ever, think about him again.

Putting a wall between them would prevent unnecessary heartbreak, he told himself. He was long way from being convinced of this, however.

To put in his plan into action, he lied about where he was and who he was with in order to spend time on the roof so he could build the wall and to convince himself he wanted this new life he'd dreamed up. One where he wanted to be with Chet, and it would be them against the world. It had worked before when he dreamed up the perfect family with Jon and Audrey. Maybe it would work again, and Chet wouldn't be such a loser.

Fat chance, he fumed silently, knowing Chet would never change but still he was determined to see this through to the end.

As he approached the apartment door, he ran his hands through his hair and shook his bangs back to create the perfect 90s heartthrob look. Then he squared his shoulders as he prepared himself for the apartment to be empty.

What he saw when he opened the door scared him so bad he froze in shock.

Jon was standing in of the kitchen island with a casual stance, but the look on his face… Shawn couldn't tell whether Jon was going to hug him to death or kill him to death.

Whichever it was the look on his teacher's face was terrifying.

Jon said nothing.

Shawn wasn't used to walking in late to nothing.

Not with Jon.

Jon yelled.

Jon sarcastically gestured dance routines.

He did not say nothing.

That was Audrey's thing.

The second hand on the clock on the stove ticked loudly.

Too loudly.

Not one word.

Jon's gonna kill me to death! he realized with shock and horror and little bit of awe.

The second-hand ticks grew louder and after a full minute a sudden gush of air escaped him. Apparently he'd been holding his breath.

Jon frowned. One hand moved to his waist and the muscles in his jaw clenched.

"Where. The. Hell. Have. You. Been?"

The stillness in his teacher voice chilled him. There was something dangerous in it.

Maybe silence was better.

Shawn shifted from one foot to the other as a stall tactic so he could decide how to answer.

The truth of where his whereabouts was too weird to be believed, and Shawn wasn't sure he wanted to be believed. If he was going to sell the story that he wanted to be with Chet he was going to have to give Jon a reason to send him back.

"Out."

The muscles in Jon's jaw visibly tightened and he could almost hear his teacher's teeth grinding.

Oh, Shawn thought worriedly, maybe I shoulda used more words.

"Where?"

Did he lie and say he was with Jennifer?

No, it wouldn't be fair to drag her into this. Shawn's eyes darted everywhere that wasn't Jon's face. His mouth and throat were uncharacteristically dry. He rolled his tongue around in his mouth trying to find enough saliva to dampen it and his lips so he could respond.

"Nowhere."

Anger flared in Jon's eyes, and he suddenly became very animated "NOWHERE?! DO YOU KNOW WHERE I WAS WHILE YOU WERE NOWHERE?!"

And then the shouting started, and Shawn could relax.

This was the Jon he knew.

This was Jon he trusted.

This was the Jon he could scream back at.

Shawn went to bed that night locked his room.

Jon had pushed the couch up against the door and was sleeping there much like he did in the weeks leading up to him trying to steal his teacher's motorcycle to get to Audrey. He stared up at the ceiling grumpily thinking about how he got put on room arrest for the foreseeable future.

It was a little embarrassing to have one of the neighbors call the cops on them only for the officer to take one look inside, roll his eyes, and ask if Mrs. Turner was out of town again. Shawn resented not being considered more of a threat. Living with Jon had cost him all of his street cred and he needed to get it back.

However tonight was not the night for it. In the three hours he was late, Jon had rigged his window not to open at all. To Shawn, this was comforting. He was able to fall asleep that night knowing that even though their time together was almost over, Jon still loved him enough to barricade his escape routes and hold him prisoner in his own room.

---

Little improved over the next week although Shawn stopped coming in after curfew.

Not that he had a choice. Jon physically escorted him from school with a death grip around his upper arm and that tight smile parents wore when their kid threw a tantrum in the middle of a crowded store. Unlike most little kids, Shawn at least had the humility to look embarrassed.

But that was about the extent of their interactions.

They didn't talk.

Conversations were reduced to one or two words and several grunts with an hour or more between the next time one or two words and several grunts were uttered. There was no eye contact. They were rarely in the same room together.

Shawn opted for his room since escaping to the roof was impossible for the time being. He spent most of the time writing in his journals, half of which he tore out and ripped up as they were mindless dribbles that made no sense even when he read them immediately after writing them.

Jon opted for the couch in front of the door where he stared at the television so distracted that he started cursing the refs when their calls favored his team. He had no idea where the Rangers were standings anymore or even when they played. One time he watched seven innings of a baseball game before he realized he was watching the wrong Rangers.

Eventually the ice between them melted, but the atmosphere in the apartment remained chilly.

One night, Shawn was in his room laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling while replaying his new "I want my dad, my real dad, back" mantra over and over in his head. Staring at the crack in the ceiling and the browning paint that may or may not have been caused by a bathroom leak in the apartment above them, Shawn tried to recount all of Chet's good points and any good memories so he could exaggerate them into being better than they were, but all he could think about was how little Chet seemed to care.

Shawn couldn't remember the last time Chet called or wrote. He knew Jon was also trying to reach him to inform him about the unexpected change in their plans for the future. He'd called every associate of Chet's that Shawn and Uncle Mike knew. Jon even resorted to calling bars and truck stops in the last known area Chet had been in.

Every message went unanswered.

Here he was trying to will a better life for them into existence while Chet was out there merrily ignoring everything that didn't entertain him. This gnawed at Shawn until he was so angry and frustrated that Jon calling him for breakfast was suddenly a horrible offense. He stomped into the kitchen in a foul mood, slamming everything in his path.

Jon ignored him.

Shawn sat at the kitchen island while Jon prepared the plates on TV trays meant for eating on the couch. He scowled at this and said rudely, "What do you think you're doin'?"

Jon frowned as he continued what he was doing. "Puttin' eggs on a plate. What's it look like I'm doin'?"

He found the way Jon just let the egg flop on the plate from too high a height offensive. "You're doin' it wrong."

Jon arched an eyebrow and gave him a short glance. "How am I doin' it wrong?"

"Your sunny side up eggs are too runny for starters and you didn't use cracked pepper, you used the ground junk." Shawn wrinkled his nose as he peered critically at the tray. "And the bacon is too limp. Gross! Audrey..."

At her name, Jon slammed the pan down on the countertop so hard one of the eggs half-flipped over. He glared at Shawn and snapped, "Fine, fix your own breakfast from now on."

So he did.

As obnoxiously as he could every morning, Shawn made his own breakfast and lunch loudly recounting everything Audrey taught him.

And he only made enough for himself.

From that moment on Jon couldn't do anything right. Every time he turned around Shawn was there to remind him that Audrey did it better. He used the wrong laundry detergent, his dusting didn't pass a white glove test, the throw on the couch was folded wrong, the utensils in the cutlery drawer were put in wrong.

The cutlery drawer was the final straw.

"That is not where the spoons go."

Jon could feel his blood pressure rise. He pressed his lips together firmly then answered shortly. "Of course it is."

"No it's not. The order is butter knives, table fork, spoons, dessert forks."

He pressed his lips tightly together again causing his nostrils to flare slightly as he struggled not give Shawn the fight he was looking for. "We don't have dessert forks."

"Yes, we do."

"Since when?"

"Since Audrey brought some culture into this rathole."

Jon shot him a warning look. "What did you say?"

Shawn glared back. "You're wrong."

"It's my cutlery drawer. I can't be wrong."

"How come you always are then?"

Running his thumb over the handle of the spoons, he stared at the reflective metal hoping to calm his emotions. "Since when do care about stuff like this?"

"Since you do it wrong."

Involuntarily his teeth ground together in rising frustrating. "I'm not wrong."

"Where's the organizer for these?" Shawn began to rifle through the drawers and cabinets, completely exasperated and grumbling to himself. "This place is a mess. Audrey would never let her kitchen get like this. Even Little Cory wouldn't eat off this table."

Jon glared at him. He took a deep breath and said evenly, "Shawn, we don't use these dinky little forks and spoons, they don't need to be out. Just put them in the back."

"That's not where Audrey puts them."

"Audrey isn't here."

Shawn's head jerked up and he peered angrily at him over the top of the forks he was holding up to scrutinize their cleanliness. "Whose fault is that?"

That snapped what little patience Jon had. He grabbed the dessert forks from him and Shawn fought him. The two of them stood in the middle of kitchen playing a vicious game of tug-o-war.

Over dessert forks.

The absurdity of the situation was lost on them as each was determined to win.

In the back-and-forth struggle neither realized how precarious the drawer was hanging off its track. With one final tug, Jon won the forks and shoved them roughly into the back of the organizer. The drawer responded by immediately crashing to the floor. He and Shawn were forced to jump back to avoid being stabbed by dinnerware.

Shawn stared at the mess at his feet and sulkily said, "Audrey would never…."

The constant reminders of Audrey and how inferior he was to her was too much. He was sick of being constantly reminded of how much he'd lost and would never get back.

"Shut up about Audrey!" He commanded. His voice was raised and strained. "She's gone! She's not comin' back! I don't wanna hear you say her name again!"

Shawn was momentarily shocked but recovered quickly. With a defiant tilt of his chin, he opened his mouth, and immediately Jon stuck his finger in his face. "Don't you dare, Hunter. I mean it, don't you dare."

Shawn shut his mouth and glared at his teacher as Jon turned his back on him and stormed into his bedroom. He remained in the middle of the silverware staring at the shut door mulling over Jon's intense reaction.

He would have shouted back and challenged him for being such a jerk, but he had glimpsed what Jon didn't want him to see. So instead he quietly cleaned up the mess, washed the dinnerware again, then put them back in the organizer Audrey's way.

Shawn studied the door again as he went to his room. He didn't think he'd ever get used to seeing Jon cry.

---

Jon couldn't cope with Audrey being gone.

The physical separation would have been a mild inconvenience if they had been able to communicate at all, but not being able to talk to her was driving him over the edge. It wasn't until she was gone that Jon realized how heavily he leaned on her, not just for support in parenting Shawn but in life in general. He found no joy in board games, movie nights, bike cruises at night or anything they used to do together.

Without her around, he struggled to find meaning in everyday life.

Before Audrey he spent little time in the apartment and the mundane aspects of life drove him crazy because he couldn't wait to get out and meet his next future ex-girlfriend or bar hop with Eli. Audrey changed his perspective on those mundane aspects of life so much that he came to love them and looking forward to the routine. Not only was she there in those moments but somehow routines where never quite routine with her and Shawn around. Something unusual almost always happened.

But without her, he wanted out of the apartment again, away from the mundane routines that where now absent of Shawn as well. He wanted to forget everything, but he no longer found any pleasure in his previous life. There was something wrong with every woman he met, and he disliked wasting the night mentally picking out all their flaws. Anything physical was out the door as well. He had tried to pick women who were built similarly to Audrey, but they were hard to find. And if he did find one, the moment the scent of anything but chocolate, peppermint, and citrus hit his nostrils he was instantly repulsed and would be right back to picking apart all of their flaws.

The only thing he found any comfort in was his Harley which had been with him before either Shawn or Audrey came into his life. Unfortunately he didn't have the freedom to ride as far as he needed to outrun the ghost of Audrey and would often return more agitated than before since he'd had too much time to think about what his future was going to look like.

Jon was convinced that by the end of their year-long separation there would be nothing left of their relationship. He fully believed that she would meet someone at the clinic or a dance studio who could better understand her and what she was going through; someone she had more in common with; someone younger who would not have his life hangups and with whom she could live a long life unworried by the possibility that she'd become his nurse at some point in the future.

To make matters worse, there was no one to talk to about this. Eli did not understand. He had not moved with Jon past the bachelor stage of their lives, and he did not want a mundane life with wife and kid. Where they stood now, they were almost strangers.

Audrey was the one he talked to about these things. She was the one who understood him the most, the one who could help him reason things out and figure out why he felt the way he did. But she was gone. She would not be back. And that put Jon in a sullen, melancholy mood most of the time.

Shawn couldn't cope with Jon with Audrey being gone.

When he wasn't moping around the apartment he was acting like he did when Shawn first moved in, and Audrey had yet to be assigned to him. He hated the back-and-forth turmoil Jon put them both through especially since Shawn was convinced the answer to the problem was still to defy the injunction and go get her in the summer. But Jon wouldn't listen to reason and became miserable to be around. Since he refused to talk, Shawn decided to use exposure therapy as a means to get him to snap out the "Audrey never existed" mindset that he loathed.

While Audrey might be banned, Aud was not. When Aud was banned, he went with Theresa. Then A.T. When A.T. was outlawed, Shawn defiantly shot "my mom" at him whenever he could. When Jon tried to ban him from talking about his mom, Shawn gave him the full force of a teenage meltdown complete with slamming the door so hard books fell off the top of the staircase and onto the desk below. He went to the rooftop before Jon could recover but unfortunately his teacher remembered the stunt he pulled on Melanie, caught him by surprise near the AC unit, and hauled him back to the apartment.

Then the Game began.

It was a surreal shift. As often as Shawn joked that living with Jon was like living in the Twilight Zone, this time if was more like Doctor Who where they slipped into their past and were left there.

Everything reverted to the way it was before Audrey became Jon's student teacher, including the way they related to each other. Jon was not dad, roommate, brother, or uncle but something weirdly in between. Shawn was not his kid, but his student, charge, nephew, that kid he was taking care of. What the role he was depended on the situation they found themselves in.

The shift caused an imbalance in their relationship both at school, where they mostly ignored each other until Shawn did something Jon couldn't ignore, and at home where there was constant snarking and petty arguing. Shawn should have been grateful for the shift as it made convincing those around him that he really did want to be with Chet easier, but it was hard to feel grateful for much of anything when it felt like he trapped in a bad TV show.

One night after dinner Shawn immediately went to his room, even though the Rangers were playing, and Jon was watching the game. Hockey had lost its appeal as that was their thing back when they were father and son. As he lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, resenting everything and everyone, his gaze wandered to the posters on the wall where the calendar caught his eye.

A funny feeling settled in his stomach when he saw the date.

Chet's birthday was tomorrow.

Shawn sighed and put his hands over his eyes as he thought about Jon's birthday in January and the day Audrey had arranged for it: a day of stick and puck for them and a night of food and a hockey game at Jon's favorite places in the City.

That night was ingrained in his memory as it was the first time in his life he'd done something normal for a dad's birthday. No retrieving beers all day and then having to explain to the neighbors why Chet was standing in their yard in his boxers yelling at Virna who hadn't been seen all week. No having to listen to confessions of crimes that might or might not have been true. No being screamed at for existing because an all-day bender had reminded Chet of how much better life was before wife and kids.

At the thought of having to go back to beer-soaked birthdays, Shawn muffled a scream in the sleeve of his shirt then rolled over, grabbed his headphones, and turned up the volume. While the Counting Crows' Time and Time Again played, he fell asleep daydreaming up ways to convince himself that Chet was better than Jon. But the hope that Audrey would return refused to submit to the new story he created.

In the living room the hockey game played but no one was watching it.

Across the apartment from Shawn, Jon was sitting on the fire escape outside his bedroom window looking at the stars while Springsteen's Night played on the boombox next to him. Hockey had lost some of its appeal since it had become his thing with Shawn. Not to mention the lockout had shortened the season and it was almost certain that the Nordiques and Jets were a thing of the past if the teams moved south in the summer.

Everything was changing and Jon resented it.

Hockey should be the one consistent. The school board had no right to ruin his life and Bettman had no right to ruin his sport. He let his mind linger on this for a while until he stopped thing about hockey and focused on the music.

"…You get up every morning at the sound of the bell. You get to work late and the boss man's giving you hell. 'Til you're out on a midnight run losing your heart to a beautiful one… And you know she will be waiting there, and you'll find her somehow you swear. Somewhere tonight you run sad and free until all you can see is the night…"

He wasn't trying to convince himself of anything. He was just trying not feel anything anymore.

---

The next morning Jon responded to a knock at his door and was greeted with a camera being shoved in his face. He responded to Cory's early morning enthusiasm by slamming the door in his face. He was already feeling lousy, and he didn't need his student trying to find a story for Eli's class anywhere near him.

His bad mood began when he answered the phone twenty minutes ago and the response to his hello was Chet bellowing, "Hey, Teach, where's my boy?" in his ear. Chet with his smarmy chatter acted like he hadn't been out of contact for weeks. Jon had an earful to give the man but didn't get a chance. Shawn immediately picked up the extension and took over the conversation with an excited enthusiasm, chatting away as though Chet was up for Father of the Year.

"Oh, come on," Cory said in a near whine. "What are you hiding?"

"My disdain for you," he shot back as the teen barreled through the door with the camera partially down.

It wasn't Cory he disdained. It was the man on the other end of the phone line with Shawn.

Shawn stood in the middle of the living room relaying his conversation with Chet to them, but his responses were directed at Jon. He played up everything Chet said as though it was most incredible thing even though he and everyone else knew Chet wasn't anywhere near Air Force One.

He was definitely at the dog tracks, though. If there was a place to throw away money he didn't have or someone else's cash, Chet would be there. The thought irritated Shawn as much as the lies he kept spitting at him at though he was still a dumb, impressionable little kid.

It took everything in him to keep up the act and Jon didn't look like he was buying it. He pushed aside his frustration and pushed the act harder, looking for a chance to sing Chet a much better rendition of "Happy Birthday" than he sang for Jon.

Before he could find that moment, Chet told him the President needed the phone. Shawn flinched. Not because Chet was warning him that he was going to hang up on him but because of how different things had been on Jon's birthday. Shrugging off those memories with the reminder that he wanted Chet not Jon, Shawn listened to his father's excuses and the lingering buzz of a terminated call without saying anything.

Cory picked up on his disappointment right away and gave him that look. Shawn couldn't hold eye contact. In order for his ruse to work he had to convince Cory that he really wanted to go back to Chet. If he could convince Cory, Cory would convince everyone else, including Jon.

And maybe even himself.

"You miss him huh." It wasn't a statement or question. It was a challenge to tell the truth.

He only hesitated for a moment before getting up from couch as Cory sat down. He glanced at Jon who was sitting on the back of the couch watching him intently.

"You know my dad always said, 'where there's family there's a place to hide'" he replied, imitating Chet's voice.

Cory's eyes narrowed and he poked further. "Did he say when he was coming back?"

Shawn put the phone back in its cradle and stood by Jon but didn't make eye contact with him. "No, but he did say he can't wait to see me. I bet it'd make him happy to see how well I'm doin'."

He fully expected Cory to have a response to this but when Jon immediately jumped in with the idea to put his life on tape to show Chet exactly that he didn't know how to respond.

Jon wants me gone that bad?

The thought stung but Shawn couldn't come up with another explanation for Jon wanting to show off how well he was doing unless it was because he wanted Chet to see how he'd straightened him out as an incentive to come back and get him out of Jon's hair.

Having his plan work so quickly was not a part of his plan at all.

As Jon expected Cory took his idea and ran with it. It took Shawn awhile to warm up to it, but he did eventually make a quip that it would be like Court TV without the court. Jon fought to keep his mouth shut and not say something sarcastic.

The boys drifted to the kitchen as Cory launched into outlining plans for the video and instructed Shawn to make a list of relatives he wanted to include. As Jon listened to their plans, doubt began to settle in, and he hoped his idea wasn't going to backfire on him.

A strange tightness settled in his chest as watched the teens.

No matter how much he tried to forget what had happened to him and Shawn in the last eight month, he couldn't.

He couldn't forget Audrey.

He couldn't forget their family.

He couldn't forget Audrey telling him to do whatever he had to do to get Shawn.

He also couldn't forget her telling him to move on.

Needing something to focus on that wasn't that he threw him into making the first part of her request happen and spent hours researching the law around legal guardianship. He was worried Chet would suddenly show up and, without the papers being signed, he would take Shawn back if the mood struck him and he would have no legal recourse to keep the teen.

Unfortunately for Jon, without those papers being signed he couldn't stop Chet from taking Shawn if he wanted to. Because Chet had left Shawn with responsible adults, first with the Matthews, then with him, the Courts would not see Chet's taking off to look for his wife for an indeterminate amount of time as neglect or abandonment. In the eyes of the law, Chet had not abandoned Shawn and by naming Jon and Audrey as legal guardians further proved he had Shawn's best interest at heart.

The idea that the Courts would see Chet as an upstanding father made him sick.

The worst part was that without Audrey, he was stuck. Or at least his ability to get Shawn quickly was not possible without her.

He did have paperwork from Chet, the original paperwork from before Audrey joined them, but in order to submit those papers he had to get Chet's approval in writing. Jon figured if they could the tape to Chet, Jon could get him to grant permission for legal guardianship on his own. He was also hoping If Chet saw how well Shawn was doing, it would encourage him to stay away and let his kid live a good life.

Lingering in the back of his mind was the fear that Chet would see Shawn as the model son and come back to take him way instead. Unfortunately, Jon wasn't able to figure out an alternative way to keep Shawn that wasn't also a felony.

The State of Pennsylvania did not take kindly to kidnapping kids for any reason.

---

Filming at the trailer parker was full of mixed feeling for Shawn.

His feelings towards his Pink Flamingo family was complicated and conflicted. While the familial attachments were still strong, Shawn struggled with being happy to be back. Once he looked forward to coming "home" to his "family", but now all he could see how run down and disheveled this particular trailer park and its inhabitants were.

As he and Cory approached a familiar trailer, Shawn tried to drum up enough enthusiasm to make everyone believe he was happy to be back and that he missed them.

He did miss them.

He did.

Sort of.

The reality was his attachment to them was because they were the one who took care of him when Chet and Virna disappeared. Uncle Mike in particular gave him food and shelter and taught him the family business, preparing him to one day take over the Hunter's con artist legacy. Before living with Jon, he didn't think there was anything unusual with this arrangement.

Every family was different after all.

However, these same people were the ones who excused all of Chet's shortcomings and most of Virna's. Hunters protected Hunters after all no matter what they did.

Shawn glanced around at his surroundings and caught a glimpse of Cory's anxious repeated touching of the camera equipment. His best friend had always been uncomfortable here and around Uncle Mike.

He now understood why.

With the family Cory had, his was nothing more that a bunch of ex-convicts hiding out and avoiding the police while pawning their multitude of kids off onto someone else. There was nothing here that said love and safety to Cory.

Since having a taste of Cory's family with Jon and Audrey, Shawn was now seeing the Hunter's through Cory's eyes for the first time. He had come so close to being able to walk away from the Hunter curse he never considered that he might have to take the mantel back and become the Pink Flamingo Kid again.

He resented being back.

And more than that, he resented everyone treating Chet like some kind of hero for being gone. At the mention of his name they all lit up and asked a thousand questions about him. They did not once sis they asked about Shawn's life over the last eight months.

What about Chet?

How is Chet?

Chet.

Chet.

Chet.

They all seemed to think his obvious lies and extended breaks from chasing Virna were something to be admired. Some sounded envious of the life he was living. No one seemed to care how it was affecting him. No one seemed to think it would affect him.

Of course they wouldn't, he thought bitterly as Cory set up the camera. Buncha crooks.

A beaming grin lit up Uncle Mike's face and Shawn was overcome with guilt. He never used to think about the Hunters that way. This was his family, his legacy, whether he liked it or not. He might as well get used to being a Hunter again. He was never going to be a Turner.

As he and Cory talked to his family, Shawn absorbed their stories into the new fantasy he was creating for himself. By the time they wrapped filming, he had embraced the moniker of the Pink Flamingo Kid. It carried an air of lawlessness with it, like Billy the Kid.

It was fitting too as the Hunters were outlaws as evidenced by everyone of his family members having to blackout their faces and change their voices to conceal their identity for a birthday video.

And he was Hunter through and through.

Filming at the trailer parker with his family was full of mixed feelings but not when it came to Eddie.

His fear and loathing of his brother remained as strong as ever he discovered when Eddie and his goons confronted him and Cory as they completed taping. Cory couldn't handle the confrontation and took off as soon as he could. Shawn, wanting nothing to do with his brother, turned to follow him when Eddie lunged forward, grabbed him by the back of his leather jacket, and roughly pulled him back.

"Where do you think you're going, Shawnie?" he hissed in his ear.

Eddie's breath was putrid and hot, and it reeked of a skunky odor mixed with a burnt plastic smell. Briefly Shawn wondered what the interactions of smoking weed, and crack simultaneously was.

"Let go of me, Eddie," he hissed back, pulling against the older teen with all his might.

Eddie quickly shifted his hold on Shawn and pinned his arms behind him. "You've gotten a real bad attitude since you left, Shawnie."

Shawn lifted his chin slightly and stared impassively over his shoulder at him.

This small act of defiance infuriated Eddie. "You think you're better than me don't you, you little creep."

Shawn said nothing calculating how far he could push without being pushed under by the violent streak Eddie harbored.

"Nah," he said finally. "I just think I wanna be better than…all of this."

Eddie jerked hard on his arms sending a sharp pain coursing up his back and shoulders. Shawn gritted his teeth trying hard not to react.

"And where'd that idea come from- that you could be better than us, huh?" Eddie's voice was low and deadly. "That rich teacher you're livin' with put that in your head, did he? You think 'cause you got your own Bruce Wayne and a pretty little mommy you can somehow change your fate, baby brother?"

With one rough jerk, Eddie swung Shawn around to face him, holding the back of his head in such a vice like grip that he couldn't help but wince in pain.

"You think if they adopt you, you gonna wake up and be like them, huh?" he sneered. "Look around Shawnie. This is where you come from this, this is what you are. Trash. Trailer trash. Just like me. Just like the rest of us. You'll never escape it. Even if you move to the Village with pretty mommy."

Eddie's goons exchanged looks, uncomfortable with what he called them but afraid to say anything. Shawn on the other hand was shaken by how much Eddie knew about Jon and Audrey and what else he might know. But he knew better than to let Eddie see this or to ask questions and give away his concern.

Eddie would smell fear and attack like a shark in bloody waters.

But Eddie saw right through him. The sneer widened into a malicious grin. "That's right, baby brother, I know all about you and Turner and Miss Andrews."

Shawn held his gaze and lifted his chin slightly higher. He let the fire of fear-tinged anger in his eyes die to dead glare. "You're an idiot."

Eddie nearly had an aneurysm. "I'm what?"

"You're an idiot," he said defiantly. "I'm not bein' adopted by anyone. Miss Andrews went back to New York. And I'm comin' back here for good as soon as Dad gets the trailer back."

Eddie's eyes narrowed. "You're lying."

"If you think that," Shawn snorted. "You're dumber than an idiot."

With a sharp snap of his wrist, Eddie bounced Shawn's head off the side of the trailer wall behind him. "Watch yourself, baby brother. I have eyes everywhere here. You lie to me; I will find out. Watch yourself."

Shawn let out a breath only after Eddie and his crew slithered into the bushes.

"Everything okay, Shawn?"

He turned around and saw a worried Cory hiding behind one of the trailers.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied, running his hands through his hair as he glanced over his shoulder. "Just catchin' up with my big brother."

Cory stepped out of the shadows and stood by Shawn. "What's with that guy anyway?"

"He's just really messed up."

"No kidding."

Shawn sighed. Thinking about Eddie's life put a crack in his new fantasy that Chet could be the father he wanted.

Chet created what Eddie had become.

"What is his problem?"

"He hates my dad."

"Huh?" Cory was so used to "my dad" referring to Mr. Turner that he had moment of confusion until he remembered Chet existed. "Oh, yeah? How come?"

Shawn glanced at him uncertainly then gave him an abridged version of Eddie's story.

"Eddie used to take care of me after Stacy left, but then something happened, and Dad sent him to live his grandmother. She lived in a really nice part of town."

Cory raised his brow curiously, wondering what Shawn considered the nice part of town given that Eddie thought Jon lived in the suburbs while his parents thought Jon lived in the bad part of the city.

"He was gone a long time, and it was just Mom and Dad and me," Shawn replied with a shrug. "Then Mom took off after she and Dad had a major fight. Dad was always angry after that complainin' about all the work to be done. Dad sent me out to mow the lawn, but I couldn't get the mower started."

"How old were you?"

"Six."

"Six?" Cory's mouth fell slightly open as he tried to imagine Morgan mowing the lawn at that age.

Shawn nodded. "This woman a few trailers down from us hated Dad. She saw me, freaked out, started screaming and scared me so bad I accidently started the thing. It took off, Dad came out of trailer yellin' at her for screamin', and they got into a fight. She threatened to call DCFS because Dad was lettin' a six-year-old mow the lawn. So I lied and said I was just playin' with it. I got yelled at for bein' stupid and almost gettin' him in trouble in front of her. Cops showed up but didn't do anything."

None of this was what sane people would do. Worriedly Cory glanced around them silently pleading with Eric to hurry up and get them home.

"But Dad was madder than ever because there was no one to take care of stuff around the house- he had to do it," Shawn went on. "A few years later I came home from school and there was Eddie tryin' to start the lawn mower. I was excited to see him again, but he wasn't the same kid. He spit at me when I ran up to say hi."

"Ew," Cory grimaced. "Why?"

"I dunno. From the moment he got back, he was angry with everyone especially Dad. He hated Dad and I don't know why."

"Where was your mom during all of this?"

Shawn shrugged. "In and out."

"Well, I can see how that would lead him to become a hardened thug," Cory said seriously. "How old is he?"

"Twenty-one."

"How many times has he been in prison?"

"Just once." Shawn glanced at him. "So far."

Cory's jaw dropped.

"It's a joke, Cor. He's done juvie though."

"What for?"

Shawn grimaced. "You remember when your grandmother told you she shot a man in Reno just to watch him die?"

Cory had no idea why Shawn would bring this fond memory up, but it kicked his anxiety up to maximum. "She wasn't serious, Shawn," he replied grabbing his shoulder. In a low, scared whisper he asked, "Eddie didn't do that, did he?"

Shawn pursed his lips together before answering. "He held a kid's head underwater once just to see what drowin' someone was like."

Horror gripped Cory's heart as he realized they were still standing in Eddie's territory. "Did he…?"

"Kid passed out underwater," Shawn said, his eyes fixed on the trailer in front of him. "But Uncle Mike caught Eddie and beat the crap out of him while Grandma Gerti got the kid."

Cory's short nails dug into his shoulder through the leather of his jacket. "But did he…?"

A dark expression settled in Shawn's eyes as he shook his head. "Nah, but it messed the kid up bad for life."

Cory sighed in relief that at least no one died.

"Cor?"

"Yeah?"

"If Uncle Mike hadn't been there, the answer would have been yes. Stay away from Eddie."

Cory's mouth dropped open, but before he could get his thoughts together, the loud blaring of a horn being held down announced Eric's arrival. Cory scrambled to get out of the Pink Flamingo Trailer Park as fast he could while Shawn casually sauntered out resigned to the fact he'd be back for good before long.

---

The trip back to the Matthews was filled with Eric yammering incessantly about selling junk from the attic he was convinced was worth thousands and would make him a millionaire. The boys then split up and did their own thing until it was time for Shawn to head home. Cory went with him, and he managed to make a few bucks by selling Eric a cheap pink yard flamingo not worth two cents.

Jon wasn't home yet when they made it back to the apartment, so they grabbed some food and sodas and settled into to watch what Cory had recorded.

Shawn felt incredibly guilty watching the video for two reasons. One, his family had been incredibly welcoming with only Eddie holding his absence against him. They loved him as best they could in their own weird way. They always protected him no matter what was going with Chet and Virna.

The thought filled him with a warm feeling he began to think he should start spending more time at the trailer with them when a thought struck him hard.

Why did none of the Hunters offer to take him while Chet was gone?

The warmth was replaced by a sick cold feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

Not only did none of his blood family offer to take him in, but they also never checked in on him to see how he was adjusting. He was always the one always reaching out to Uncle Mike, Grandma Gerti, and the others. At the time, he though they were just busy with their court cases and evading the law, but since filming the video he realized that only Gertie still had an on-going criminal case. Everyone else had been living life at the park. Nothing was going on in their lives that they couldn't have spare a few minutes to call and check on him.

Not once did they bother with him, not at Christmas or his birthday.

Yet everyone jumped to do something for Chet.

A bitterness seeped into his heart. Had they been in touch with him all this time without checking on him? Had Chet been in contact with them all this time when he could barely be bothered to check in with him?

Deep down Shawn knew the answer to this.

Then on the other side of the trailer park were Jon and Audrey and the Matthews. Even after he moved in with Jon, Cory's parents never failed to check in on him, they offered support, and second home when needed.

Cory's parents weren't blood.

Neither were Jon and Audrey, but those four adults never wavered in their support for him even though things were turbulent at times. Throw in Mr. Feeny and there were five non-related adults who took a real interest in him.

They were his safety net.

Shawn felt sick.

Miss Tompkins ruined the best thing he had ever had and now he was stuck with the Hunters.

The excitement of being back at the trailer park burned down until only embers of bitterness were left.

As he stared at the screen, Eddie appeared in the background.

A scowl took over his expression.

He did not want to go back to the trailer park and the Hunters. He wanted the family he was promised.

While struggling with the storm of emotions that began surge in his head, Cory took a sharp turn in the conversation. Guilt, frustration, and fear fueled Shawn's strong response to his desire to use the footage of Eddie's theft to win an award in Mr. William's class. When Cory proposed turning Eddie in, it finally set in that he was not going to get the family he wanted. Instead he was going back to the family he had, the one he was born into.

Thieves.

Liars.

Crooks.

Con artists.

Drug addicts.

Alcoholics.

That's what the Hunters were.

That's what he was going to be.

The look of outrage on Cory's face as he tore up the film was one he knew he would be seeing often until the day came he'd never see his best friend again, he realized. Cory was a Matthews and that was as far from being a Hunter as anyone could get.

One day Cory would walk away from him too and Topanga would go with him.

Unless like with Jon, he walked away first.

---

A teacher's meeting brought Jon home later than normal.

All he wanted to do was get rid of the tie and work shirt, grab some junk food and a beer, and watch TV until he fell asleep. He did not want to think about anything or anyone.

Shawn was already in the kitchen with pots and pans filling the stove and the island was piled with a full set of dinnerware.

"Don't bother with that stuff, Shawn," he said wearily tossing is his briefcase on the couch. "Let's just get some takeaway and eat in here tonight."

"There's no game tonight," Shawn shot back with a disparaging look. "So there's no reason not to eat at the table."

Jon held in a sarcastic sigh. The things Shawn chose to argue with him on these days were ridiculous and exhausting. "I'm tired that's a reason."

Shawn's response an exaggerated mimicking of his reply. He glared at the teen but chose not to address it. Instead he headed to his bedroom to change clothes where he fought to undo his tie. Every time he changed out of school clothes now he became agitated and irrationally angry.

Jon stared at his reflection, holding his tie in a such a way that it looked like he was trying to choke himself. It was that moment he realized why he felt that way.

Audrey wasn't here.

Back in February when they were planning Shawn's birthday party, Audrey had started undoing his ties and untucking his shirt when he came home or went over to her place after school.

The image of her taking off his tie and securing it around her hips while humming some dreamy ballet suite he didn't recognize was forever burned in his memory.

He resented having to do these things himself and he resented that doing them reminded him of her.

When he returned to the kitchen to argue his right eat on the couch, what he saw made him forget all about the couch. In the kitchen, Shawn had set the table with the only matching dinnerware he had ever owned.

His heart raced at the sight of it.

The white plates and cups were rimmed with different shades of blue. The inside of the bowls were also rimmed in blue, with the outside a calming cerulean. Lighter blue cloth napkins were folded neatly under the matching silverware with the tri-color handles.

Shawn had pulled out every accessory that went with that set: the sugar bowl, the serving platter, salt and pepper shakers, the creamer.

As Jon took a step back his eyes were drawn to counter by the stove. On the counter set the matching mixing bowls and the canisters that held dry baking ingredients.

None of these should have been out.

He had packed them up and shoved them in the storage space that stairs led to marked "schoolbooks" in sharpie so Shawn would leave them alone.

Pfaltzgraff stoneware in denim. Jon had never had matching dishes or anything else much less had a set with a name nor did he care about such things. But this set was bought at the King of Prussia mall back in November. They were picked out with love and concern that they would be his taste and fit his style.

And they did.

He would have picked the set out himself if he bothered with things like that.

But he didn't pick them out, Audrey did.

Without her they were not ever supposed to be used again.

Why were they out now?

Why was Shawn doing this to him?

As if he read he his thoughts Shawn looked up at him at that moment. His expression was unreadable but there was a stubborn look in his eyes as he set a fork down with a slow deliberate motion.

Jon glared at him.

Shawn glared back.

Jon broke their staring contest and grumpily turned to the couch. He picked up the remote to turn on the television before returning to the kitchen so Shawn couldn't accuse him of not doing his share of the work.

The stoneware, it turns out, was the least of the reminders of Audrey Jon was subjected to.

Although her name was never mentioned, Jon recognized the very specific way Shawn was doing things. From the order of the dishes prepared to the way they were prepared; it was all Audrey.

Shawn wouldn't allow him to step out of her shoes either. If he tried the teen was there to bark at him to do things the "correct" way.

Audrey's way.

Jon felt his mood sinking further south and he struggled not to bite back at Shawn. They made it through plating dinner.

Shawn had executed Audrey's fried chicken dinner almost as well Audrey herself. He mentioned the job the teen had done without mentioning her and Shawn immediately retorted that he was taught by the best and made sure that Jon did not think for a moment he was referring to him.

The meal started off in uncomfortable silence. No words were exchanged, no eye contact was made.

Jon watched Shawn carefully use his napkin the "proper" way.

Before Audrey, neither had much use for dining manners at home although Jon insisted that they both use them in public. Once Audrey joined them, everything taught in Health & Manners when Shawn was in elementary school kicked in and without prompting he stopped chewing with his mouth open, burping at the table, and started using basic table manners at home.

Jon almost chuckled at the memory of Amy calling to tell him how impressed she was that he taught Shawn these things so quickly. She was incredibly grateful that he was no longer drinking straight out of milk cartons and bottles.

Shawn picked up his napkin to wipe his mouth and Jon noticed the sadness in his eyes as he kept glancing at where Audrey used to sit.

Guilt pricked him.

Audrey would hate this scene and his attitude in particular.

Jon set his fork down and awkwardly cleared his throat. "So, uh, how'd it go at the trailer park?"

Shawn lowered the chicken leg he was about to take a bite out of and looked up at him through the bangs that half covered his face.

His expression was unreadable.

Finally he shrugged and said, "It was good to be home."

Jon felt like someone stabbed him with a needle in the thigh. Ignoring the comment, he pushed on. "Where you able to get your… family… on camera?"

"Oh yeah, pretty much everyone showed up," Shawn nodded with a pleased smile. "A cousin was even allowed outside from house arrest long enough to say, 'Happy Birthday'."

"Glad it went well." Jon picked up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and rotated the utensil over in a circle several times.

"I really missed the trailer park," he said pointedly. His gaze was fixed on Jon and there was steely look in his eyes. "I forgot how much great the Hunters are. Family really is everything, you know."

Shawn paused, still watching Jon intently. His expression turned in a slight sneer. "But then I guess you wouldn't know anything about that."

Jon stared at his spoon and clenched his teeth. Shawn was looking for a fight he knew and was used to getting his way.

So he ignored him.

Shawn crossed his arms and leaned against the table. "Yeah, family is everything," he said again. "And I've a great one. Best alibis you could want, phenomenal at evading the cops."

Even with his head down, Jon could feel his eyes boring through him. To distracted himself for Shawn's painful barbs, he took a bite of chicken and realized Shawn forgot the paprika Audrey always used.

He surprised he could pinpoint why it didn't quite taste like hers.

Shawn tilted his head to the side. The look in his eyes said he was going in for the kill. "I can't wait to hand the Hunter name and legacy down to my kids one day."

Jon was in the middle of swallowing the potatoes when Shawn said this.

He almost choked.

Unable to resist fighting back, he snapped roughly, "Maybe you oughta leave the Hunter legacy in the trailer park where it belongs."

Not bothered by the remark, Shawn stared at him and smirked, "You're just mad the Turner line won't live on through you."

The words landed harder than Jon expected. And they hurt.

"Men don't have the same timeline on havin' kids women do. I've got plenty of time."

Smugly, Shawn took aim and launched his final dart. "Who you gonna get to have a kid with you when you can't even commit to a one-year magazine subscription?"

That was a step too far.

Jon jumped up and slammed his fist on the table making the silverware jump. "Audrey wanted kids with me! Several, for your information!"

With that Shawn sat back and stared him. Very slowly the deranged Joker grin stretched across his face.

Jon realized the moment he said the name he'd banned the teen from saying, Shawn won.

Without a word the teen went back to eating and did not cause any further disruptions nor force any more Audrey-created routines on him.

Angry and embarrassed Jon left the table and dinner to sulk on the couch and stare blankly at the television.

Shawn finished his food and did the dishes without prompting then went to his room.

They did not speak for the rest of the night.

---

With finals week coming up faster than anyone wanted, faculty meetings of some sort occurred more often than anyone wanted. What was said at the before school meeting Jon just sat through was lost on him and he really didn't care. Thoughts of dinner the night before and Shawn's accusations plagued him.

He understood Shawn's rebellion and insistence on keeping Audrey's routines in place, but he did not understand why the teen suddenly hated him and while Chet was his hero. What happened wasn't his fault. It was Kat's. Hating her he could understand but Shawn didn't even seem to remember she existed because all of his rage was focused on him.

He understood losing Audrey hurt.

He understood the anger behind her being gone.

He felt it just as hard.

He just did not understand why Shawn was actively rejecting him.

It was as though without her they had no relationship.

He thought they had one, a pretty good one too. He thought they had come a long way since the first months after Shawn moved in. He figured things would be shaky as they adjusted to her being gone, but it would ultimately bind them together tighter than before.

Jon knew he didn't handle the situation well at first, but Shawn never gave him a chance to correct things. His own hurt and despair clashed with the teen's in the worst way but he really did think it would be temporary. He never dreamed Shawn would walk downstairs one day and declare he missed Chet and wanted him to come back then proceed to build Chet up as Father of the Year.

The school board stabbed him the back and Shawn was twisting the knife several times over. One of the most hurtful twists came last night when he threw his short comings in his face.

Jon sighed heavily.

"Your dog die too?"

Eli's voice was a jarring return to reality.

"No, it's fine. Why?" He responded irritably, rubbing a shoulder that didn't hurt.

Eli opened his mouth then closed it as he peered worriedly at his best friend. "Jon, you don't have a dog."

Jon scowled at the reminder. "Little Cory is just fine."

Eli raised his brow. "Pig and a dog are not the same. You okay, man? You have been a mess since Au…"

At the start of her name, an inexplicable anger engulfed him. "Shut up!" he snapped harshly, glaring at Eli. "I don't need that crap from you too!"

"Don't snap at me," Eli retorted sharply. "You're the one moping around, barking at people who show you any concern."

With that he turned and walked away from Jon to take the long way to his classroom rather than walk with him. Unintentionally scowling through the halls, Jon pushed past the students milling around. As he neared the main hall, the noisy chatter of teens took on a decidedly chanting tone.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Instantly Jon was in teacher mode and in the middle of the crush of students.

"Break it up! Break it up!" Without paying much attention to the boys at the center of scuffle, he grabbed the one on top who continued to swing even when he was out of range of his opponent.

Jon turned a stern glare on those still watching who hadn't figured out that the main event was over. "Get back to class now!" He barked as he pulled the teen who was still fighting him over to the side. He looked over his shoulder and made eye contact with Eli who had the other part of the problem and saw the familiar curtain bangs of the teen he was retraining.

Shawn?

If Eli had Shawn then who in the world did he have?

The look of realization hit Eli at the same time, and they stared at each other in shock for a moment.

"Hunter? Matthews?"

"Did you guys know you were fighting each other?"

The answers from the boys didn't clarify anything and Shawn seemed angry with him too. That didn't bother him nearly as much Shawn going after Cory whom he could easily hurt if he really put his full strength and fury into it.

Before anything could be pulled out of them, Mr. Feeny stepped in and handout detention. Once he was gone Cory stormed into Jon's room without another look at Shawn. Shawn tried to storm off in the opposite direction, but Jon grabbed him by the back of the shirt again.

"What is goin' on with you?"

Shawn pulled out of his grasp and shrugged him off. "What do you care?"

The teen attitude set a fire under him that Jon didn't understand. "Don't talk to me like that, Hunter. What is goin' on?"

Shawn stared at him, wide eyed and mouth slightly open, then his eyes narrowed. "Hunter, huh? We goin' back to that now?"

Jon was thrown off guard by Shawn's hangup on something irrelevant for a moment. "C'mon, Shawn, stop avoidin' the question."

"Cory's bein' a jerk. Happy?"

Jon stared at him for a moment, struggling to find the right thing to say, the correct parental thing to say, but frustration got the best of him. "Yeah and so are you. You'd better change the attitude."

Shawn looked unimpressed. "Or what? Is that supposed to be a threat?"

It took him a moment to respond as he tried to recall what Alan might do in this situation. "It's a promise your butt won't see anythin' other than this school and your room until the end of the school year."

Clearly he said the right thing because Shawn glared almost hatefully at him. Jon expected that. What he did not expect was for Shawn to square up to him nose to nose and say in a quiet dangerous tone, "You're not my dad."

Time stopped or Jon stopped breathing. Either way something in Jon came to a grinding halt. The teen stormed off towards the gym, but Jon couldn't move. The hateful tone shocked him, and the words devastated him. Taking a few steps back he stumbled and caught himself against the stair wall. He leaned against it trying to get himself together enough to get to his class.

Just a few weeks ago Shawn was calling him "dad" and saying he had his six.

What happened?

"Jonathan?"

Jon grimaced. Feeny was the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

"Jonathan, are you alright?"

It took him a moment to put on his poker face. He pushed himself away from the wall and turned to face the principal. "Yeah sure, George," he said, not bothering to keep the scorn out of his voice. "I don't got a care in the world. It's great havin' the kid you live with hate you."

Feeny was taken aback by the sarcastically rude quip. But seeing the stress and anxiety on his teacher's face made him soften.

"I know you're under a lot of pressure, Jonathan," he told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Hang in there. Shawn will come around. A year will pass quickly, and you will be reunited with Audrey."

The words meant to encourage did the opposite. If Feeny had just left him alone none of this would have happened. Losing Audrey and now Shawn was the directly result of the principal's double standard where he was concerned. If he had not had to hide his relationship with Audrey, there would have been nothing for Kat to expose.

Bitterness overtook him and Jon gave Feeny a blank look. "Who?"

The principal regarded him warily. "Audrey."

When Jon didn't respond, he added, "Miss Andrews."

Jon pursed his lips together and shook his head slowly. As he walked away, he called over his shoulder, "I don't know anyone by that name."

---

Cory had taken off to the trailer park and Shawn's response- full of frustration and fury- brought Mr. Feeny out of his classroom. But rather than hand out another detention, the principal sat down and opened up about his own life and family.

Shawn hated when Feeny did this.

It was never just a chat about whatever was going on in that moment. Oh, no, with Feeny there was always a lesson for the moment that connected to the bigger picture of what was going on in life.

"Then who do you count on, Mr. Hunter?"

To any bystander it was just a question, but to those who knew the teacher it was much deeper; it was a question meant to challenge, to get him to think.

And Shawn did not want to think.

He knew the conversation he'd just had with the man wasn't just about Cory. It was about Jon and Audrey too.

"Family," had been his answer. He could be just as challenging. "Your family is always there for you."

The look Mr. Feeny gave him was enough to make Shawn quickly added, "Come on, Mr. Feeny, a guy like you with no friends, you gotta know I'm right. I mean, you've got to have a lot of family."

His principal regarded him in quiet reflection for a moment before saying, "Well, actually, I have very little family in Philadelphia."

That was not the response he was expecting.

Mr. Feeny went on to tell him about the close-knit friends group he spent those important life moments with instead of biological family. Shawn knew where he was headed with the conversation, and he didn't want to hear it.

It wasn't just about Cory, it just included Cory.

"We take pride in each other. Pretty much what you've always done with Matthews." There was no judgement or scolding in his voice, just a gentle stating of facts.

"Yeah, but it can't be the same as being with real family." Even as he said it, Shawn knew it wasn't true. Immediately Christmas came to mind, the first month he, Jon, and Audrey became a real family. That month was better than all the years he'd had with his "real" family.

"Oh, Mr. Hunter," Mr. Feeny looked at him as though he felt sorrow for him. "You don't have to be blood to be family."

Leave it to Mr. Feeny to call him out without calling him out. Shawn let his back fall heavily against the lockers as he watched him retreat to his office. He stood there for a long time after his principal left.

Mr. Feeny was right, as always. Shawn wasn't sure he'd ever actually been wrong before. At least not in important matters.

"You don't have to be blood to be family."

This had been true until Audrey was taken from him. He and Jon could still be family he knew that too, but he was too afraid try it, too afraid it would fall apart at some point and not being blood would result in Jon walking away.

Not being blood meant he could walk away anytime.

Or once he had his own blood kids Jon might see him differently. A lot of people were like that. Having bio kids changed everything and the half-siblings got pushed to the side. He'd seen that a lot in blended families.

On the other hand, blood didn't stop Chet or Virna from walking out on him. It didn't stop Virna from taking his home and life away from him. Or any of the other the Hunters, moms and dads, who skipped out on their blood kids.

His family had never been blood.

That stuff about blood and family was just a lie the Hunters told him to keep him quiet, to make him fall in line, to make sure he never snitched on them. That's what they cared about more than anything- don't snitch on them to the cops no matter what they did.

Keep it in the "family".

His gaze drifted to the door of Jon's classroom while his thoughts drifted to Chet.

Of the two men he had called dad, one was a father the other was not.

One was his father, and the other was not.

Shawn sighed.

He'd committed to this act and didn't know how to undo it. But there was one thing he could undo- his brother's, his real brother's, death wish.

And a death wish is exactly what Cory had even though he didn't realize it.

Shawn had tried to warn him with a true story about how evil Eddie was, but Cory still believed that being pure of heart would somehow protect him. Thanks to Cory's stable home life he was more sheltered than he'd wanted to admit and that made dealing with someone like Eddie seem simple: catch him on film breaking the law, turn one copy of the tape into the cops, put Eddie in jail. Turn another copy into Mr. Williams, win a prize.

Cory still naively believed that if you did the right thing, the right thing would be done to you. He genuinely did not understand that the world was shades of gray and when it came to the Hunter family it was the darkest shades of gray that existed where very little light reached.

Uncle Mike might have a rap sheet longer than the Delaware River, but he wouldn't hurt Cory, just scare him.

Eddie would both scare and hurt him.

Eddie hated without cause.

Eddie always got revenge.

Cory didn't understand that Eddie's crimes weren't confined to their corner of Philadelphia. They reached as far as New York City, maybe beyond. If Cory turned Eddie in, he would go after Cory because Shawn brought an outsider in. And he wouldn't just go after Cory, but Jon and very possibly Audrey too.

He would hurt him through those he loved most.

Shawn sighed again.

He couldn't fix the situation between him, Jon, and Audrey, at least not now. But he could make sure that Eddie didn't touch his brother.

He chose family over blood.

With dogged determination, Shawn pushed himself away from the lockers and headed to the trailer park.

---

Cory survived Eddie.

At least for now.

Shawn had no doubt his "brother" would get himself arrested soon and they would be able to breath for a while, but he would have to keep an eye on Eddie's trip through the criminal justice system. Eddie wouldn't forgive or forget this slight, and he would want payback.

Still he'd won this round and was pretty proud of himself.

He and Cory went to Chubbie's to celebrate and then to the Matthews to watch a movie. Shawn hadn't considered how late he'd been out but assumed being with Cory would absolve him of any curfew breaks anyway.

He was wrong.

Very wrong.

"How many times are we gonna have to go through this, Hunter?! What am I gonna have to do to get through to you!?"

Shawn flinched internally at being called by his last name. He ducked his head, then looked up at Jon with only one eye open. "I was with Cory at the trailer park…"

Jon's glare softened slightly, and his posture relaxed a little.

"…finishin' up the tape for my dad."

The moment the words left his mouth he saw the hurt that flashed in his teacher's eyes before the shouting started again.

Shawn watched with morbid fascination as Jon read him the riot act. He didn't get to tell him about what happened with Eddie because he didn't take a moment to breathe so he could talk. Jon's reaction gave him flashbacks to months ago when he tried to run away to live with Audrey for fear Jon would get sick of him and send him back to the Matthews or to foster care. Jon's lecture sounded like all the ones he gave him back when they hadn't figured out how to function as a family unit.

"And I'm gonna hide my keys so don't even think about tryin' to take my bike again!"

The comment snapped Shawn out of his reverie. He was stunned Jon was thinking about the same moment in their history he was.

Finally the shouting stopped. Jon stood in the middle of the living room with his hands on his waist staring at Shawn and breathing like he'd just run a marathon.

For once Shawn didn't say a word to defend himself or rebel. He just watched Jon with intense curiosity.

After a long stretch of silence, Jon threw up his hands and collapsed on the couch. "Go to your room, kid. I'm sick of lookin' at you."

Maybe he should have been surprised he still had a room, but he wasn't. If Jon was still bothering to yell at him, then he still cared.

With a heavy heart Shawn realized this meant he wasn't doing a very good job of convincing Jon that they could never be father and son.

He still had a lot of work to do so he mustered up the dirtiest look he could manage and stomped off to his room slamming everything along the way. There was no fury behind the slamming. It was just a scripted act, but Jon didn't seem to realize it. He sat forward with his head in his hands. After awhile he leaned back, sighed, then got up and grabbed the phone.

Shawn paused and watched him.

Jon sat back down on the couch leaning forward like he was in pain. "Yeah, Alan, it's Jon, sorry to bother you so late, but it's about Shawn…"

The weight in his heart increased. This wasn't working at all.

It seemed it was much harder to severe the ties with someone who wasn't blood than someone who was.

Shawn sighed.

He had a lot of work left to do.

---

"I gotta date."

"Yeah, so do I."

Shawn looked at Jon across the kitchen island and put his hands in his pockets. "Don't wait up."

"Wasn't plannin' on it." Jon didn't look at him as he put the leftovers back into the refrigerator. "Head to Matthews' place when you're done, not here."

"You're bringin' her back here?" he asked accusatorily.

Jon flinched slightly. "Nah, but you ain't stayin' here alone with a girl."

Shawn still couldn't understand how Jon could turn on Audrey so easily and as much as he wanted answers, he also didn't want to know. So he turned his back on Jon and silently went to his room until it was time to meet his date. When he did leave he didn't bother to acknowledge his teacher.

It made him sick to think about what Jon's date entailed when Audrey was all alone in New York no doubt believing that Jon was being faithful to her and waiting for the year to be up. A deep dark feeling poked at him and consumed the remaining positive feelings he had about his teacher.

Shawn took off down the hallway to the stairs. Instead of following them to the fourth floor and he went up to the sixth floor to catch the elevator there. Once at the top floor of the apartment he headed to the entrance to the roof and waited.

Meanwhile, Jon remained in the spot in the living room where he had been standing when Shawn left for the night without a word. It seemed that just breathing made the teen angry with him, so he had no clue what sparked the bitterness tonight, but when he tried to figure it out it made the teen even angrier. With a heavy weight on his back, he went into his bedroom, pulled out a Messier Rangers' jersey and put it on.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror for a moment.

The jersey was a Christmas gift from Audrey.

Feeling numb he reached for the hair gel that sat on his dresser, put a dollop in the palm of his hand, then rubbed his hands together before running them through his hair. As he did, he thought about how Audrey hated that he put so much product in his hair. Made it crunchy and hard to get her fingers through she said.

Annoyed, Jon abruptly left the room. He couldn't get away from reminders of her even when Shawn wasn't around.

Grabbing his leather jacket and keys he stormed out of the apartment and headed to the parking lot. He wasn't thinking about much when he got on the bike and rode out of the parking lot faster than he should have.

The sound of a motorcycle engine revving up and taking off brought Shawn out of his hiding place and onto the roof. He jogged over to the edge in time to see Jon on his Harley disappear into the fast-approaching night.

Shawn sighed and puffed his hair out of his face. He adjusted the collar of the Rangers' jersey Audrey got him for his birthday and reached into the interior pocket of his leather jacket for his Discman. He took the headphones from around his neck and put them over his ears. The night sky caught his attention as the stars desperately tried to shine through all the pollution.

Or maybe those were airplanes.

No, they are stars tryin' to break out, he thought. That's what Audrey always told him when they tried to stargaze in the city.

"One day we'll go to the Poconos and see really see them", she told him not long ago. "You can take your camera and try your hand at night shooting."

There was another thing that wouldn't happen now.

The smoggy air seemed heavier than ever, and it sunk into his lungs making him cough.

Shawn leaned against the mechanical penthouse. The spot he stood in would have been the perfect place to pinpoint all of the constellations and planets if the air was clean and the lights were out. He tipped his head back and tried to imagine what was on the other side of the haze. As he stared at the sky, a forlorn melody wormed its way to the forefront of his mind, echoing in his ears until it was so loud it forced him to rub his ears.

The melody belonged to a song from one of Morgan's favorite movies, An American Tail. During one of his grounding sprees, Jon let him watch Morgan one night while the Matthews were out. She thought four hours of the same movie was a good way to spend a Friday night.

Shawn thought it was one of Jon's weirder discipline attempts.

He tried to replace the melody with an edgier song from his music catalogue, but it refused to be shooed away, resonating with him in a way that made him uncomfortable. The Don Bluth animation about a little mouse and his family who were headed for a better life in America had nothing and everything to do with him and he hated it.

During the journey to their new lives, Fivel was accidentally separated from his family. Thinking they've lost him forever; his family reluctantly moved on with their lives. That was essentially what was happening to him.

Except he willingly jumped overboard into the storm.

"Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight. Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight…"

The little mouse's sad song hit too close to home for him and it put the movie was on his "do not watch" list, but still it would come to him unbidden no matter how hard he tried to keep it away.

Was there someone out there looking up at the night sky right now and thinking about him?

Chet- not a chance. It was unlikely he knew whether it was day or night.

Virna- no. Anyone who took their kid's home and didn't look back would not be looking up for them.

Audrey- there was no doubt that she would be.

Suddenly plunged into a deep melancholy, Shawn turned on his own music, settled down on the ground, and leaned against the mechanical penthouse. But Adam Duritz couldn't drown out Linda Ronstadt's singing that song, nor could he block the hope Shawn had that Audrey was looking at the stars at that exact moment where she was and thinking about him too.

The unwanted tears came hard and fast and Shawn thought he might drown. In the distance the sound of a motorcycle engine as it shuddered and stopped broke through the conflicting melodies in his head.

But still the tears fell.

Jon sat on his Harley for several minutes trying not to think too much about anything. When he got off the bike, he headed to the apartment wondering if Shawn would actually go to Cory's or try to sneak back here. He sighed heavily. He shouldn't have told Shawn he was going out tonight, but he didn't want to stay in and didn't want to explain himself.

The sense of parental responsibility weighed heavily on him.

Shawn wasn't his kid, though, he reasoned, so he needed to move on his life. Just keep his end of the deal he made with Chet and start looking for his future.

Because this wasn't it.

He sighed again. Worry wouldn't leave him alone until he resolved to call Alan later and check on the kid.

Jon took the stairs to the fifth floor, not interested in going anywhere fast. A heavy depression hung over him and a night ride on the Harley couldn't relieve it, so he headed to the only place that could clear his head.

The roof.

He couldn't help but think about the only time the roof made everything worse. Once while he was up there, his head spun so fast with emotion that he really thought he might lose his mind.

Audrey had been with him then.

It was the night of Shawn's birthday after which they managed to get away on their own- part their gift to him and part his gift to them. They ended up on the roof where they shared their real first kiss.

He very nearly lost his mind and self-control that night.

The heaviness increased and Jon found it hard to stand up straight. He stepped onto the roof and leaned against the door.

The sky was both dark and bright at the same time. Light pollution made it impossible to see the stars. Even the airplanes were hard to make out. But still Jon found himself searching the night for a particular set of stars.

Andromeda.

Audrey's constellation.

Audrey once told him that when she was young her mother used to read her the myths of Greek mythology. Her father would take them to the Brooklyn Bridge Park to look for the constellations named after the characters in those myths.

The story of Andromeda was her favorite.

A precursor to the "princess and the dragon" trope, she always had an affinity for quest romances. Jon was very familiar with the myths and legends of Greece and was well acquainted with this one. He found it humorous and endearing that Audrey chose Andromeda as her favorite because the deeper meaning he saw in it was completely lost on her. As legend went, Andromeda was more beautiful than the nereids and Audrey was certainly more beautiful than any mortal woman.

To him anyway.

He sighed and shifted his weight irritably.

When did he become such a sappy romantic?

That night on the roof, Audrey, with the child-like wonderment she'd somehow managed to hold onto, remarked that it was incredible to think everyone in the world was under the same sky, looking at it and even though they saw it from different points of view, they were all connected to each other. In the back of his mind, he knew somewhere out there Audrey was looking up at the night sky at that moment to find Andromeda before she went to bed.

He was here now because of where he knew she was, just like he was every night since she was taken from them. It was the only connection to her he had left, and he couldn't let it go.

Jon grunted in dismay. He had really become the sappy romantic he always despised.

Despite his irritation with himself, he pulled his gaze away from the heavens long enough to walk over to the mechanical penthouse where there was a perfect spot to pinpoint all of the constellations.

Only instead of Andromeda, he found Shawn.

---

About the plagiarism case: That story is now gone. It's over. If you would like to know details you can read my Tumblr post about it oceangirl24, search mrsfizzle. Since I wrote that post it was brought to my attention what likely happened. If you're interested search general Tumblr for Mrsfizzle. My eternal gratitude to whoever it was at The Anti-Plagiarism Investigation Reports forum here on FFN who decided to take my case, research it, and put an end to my 16-month nightmare.

Thank you so much for your comments and for spending time with me!