Emerald Green
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Goodbye, TARDIS
"No! No!" Her voice hurt from the shrieking, a terrible familiar feeling. She took steps back, her hands spreading out behind her searching for something, something, a scrap of fabric, a hair. Her back hit the wall. Nothing. There was nothing. The Doctor was gone.
There was an Angel behind her, in the vent. There must be. It had taken the Doctor. He was dead. The Doctor was dead. He was dead, and she didn't have time to mourn, because in a few seconds, she would be, too. A mad thought ran through her: if the Doctor was dead, did she even want to survive? But the horror of death by space still choked her.
"Oh, no," she moaned. Her eyes were filling with tears. She would have to blink soon. It would be over in that instant. She hoped it really was as quick as the Doctor had said it would be, and her heart ached at the thought of him.
Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five…now it was longer than she'd ever kept her eyes open. Her sight was blurring. Seconds until she was dead. She longed for one last, meaningful thought, but none came to her. She supposed that was how most people died. She wondered what the Doctor's last thought had been.
Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three…It was time, she decided. At sixty, she'd blink, and let it be over.
She found her last words. "Phoebe, Heather, Olivia, Eleanor, Nina, Ivy, Xyla." She'd failed them all, in the end.
Fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight…Molly took her last breath.
Sixty. She closed her eyes, and felt the arms of the Angel wrap around her, pulling her back, making some strange sound.
She screamed, her eyes still closed, until the strange sound around her formed into an impossible voice.
The Doctor's voice. "Molly!" he was shouting. "Molly! It's me! I've got you! You're okay, I've got you!"
Molly turned, and his face was like a miracle. She gripped the lapels of his coat like he might float away if she didn't hold on. "Doctor!" She buried her face in his chest, gasping for breath. "I thought you were dead!"
She felt his arms go around her, holding her tight. "I know. I'm sorry," he said. "It's okay now. Well, there's still the Weeping Angels, and we still can't get to the TARDIS, but, you know. Okay for right now."
Her voice couldn't work anymore as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and breathed him in, the wool-like smell of his clothes, the smell of his skin underneath them that she just now noticed was almost like the mint her aunt had grown in pots on her porch, clean and cool and herbal.
He pulled back. "Sorry. No time." He ran for the computer where the monitor still showed little boxes, and now she realized she was back in the lab.
"What happened?" Molly finally thought to ask.
She heard Lesedi behind her. "I got the transport working," she explained. "I don't have enough experience to have tried before, but I was desperate, and I didn't have anything else to do while I waited. I couldn't help you directly. But getting you both registered in the system meant I could transport you as soon as I got the machine functional. I still wasn't sure it would work." She looked apologetic. "I got the Doctor first because you were the one looking at the Angels."
Molly looked over to her, and swore she saw lines around the woman's dark eyes that hadn't been there an hour ago. Instinctively, she threw her arms around Lesedi's shoulders.
"Oh," said Lesedi, surprised as Molly pulled her in. "You're welcome?"
"No," Molly said softly, and pulled away again to look into Lesedi's face. "I'm really sorry. About Hendrix, about Beckett. Are you okay?"
She saw realization, and then a soft sort of sorrow fill those pretty, dark eyes. "I'm…" Lesedi began, and then she swallowed. "I'm okay, right now. Later, I'll be heartbroken. Hendrix was hard on the outside, but was always kind to me. Reid…well, he didn't deserve to die like that."
Molly found herself hugging Lesedi again, but quicker this time, more an acknowledgment of Lesedi's pain then any empty attempt to reassure her. Then she turned to the Doctor. "What are you doing?"
"The Angel is almost in place," he said, his hand hovering over a button, his eyes locked on the cameras.
Lesedi moved to stand beside the Doctor and typed something into a keyboard, and then the little boxes turned into one, large screen, showing the Angel in the mirror room. Molly stepped up to look into the monitor, and at first, she thought there was a problem with the cameras, that the screen where the Angel stood was flickering, but then she realized that the Angel was moving whenever the mirror wasn't on it.
"We're seeing the Angel now. Shouldn't it be frozen?" Molly asked.
"What we're seeing is on a few milliseconds delay," explained Lesedi. "All of our cameras are like that. The feed isn't live."
Molly looked closer. "So, we're seeing the Angel in the past, technically. Even if just by a couple milliseconds."
"That makes this trickier," said the Doctor. Molly looked to where his hand was posed over the button.
"Let me do it," she said.
"This has to be perfectly precise, Molly."
She hovered her hand over his, waiting to take his place. "When I was a kid, I had to go to a lot of birthday parties. You know, those obligation invites. Everyone – except me, obviously – had their parties at an arcade the next city over."
"Now's not the time. I have to focus."
"Shut up and listen." She leaned in closer, though she knew his eyes wouldn't move from the screen. "There was this game, sort of like those games where you spin a wheel and win a prize, but it was on its side, and instead of the wheel spinning, a light spun around the edges. There were four spots for players, each with their own button. The goal was for the player to hit their button so that the light stopped on the exact right place on their side that won them the jackpot. There were smaller prizes for other spots, but it was the jackpot you wanted. And it was rigged, of course. A few milliseconds behind, so even if you technically hit it to get the light in just the right place, it would land a little past it." Finally, she leaned forward and turned to him to try to force him to look in her eyes. He glanced at her. "I won the jackpot. Every. Single. Time."
He seemed frozen for a moment. She saw the indecision reach his eyes as he looked from the screen to her and back again. "How long has it been since you did that last?"
"As soon as I got out of physical rehab, I went to this bowling alley that had an arcade a few blocks from my apartment to play it every day. My occupational therapist said it would help me get my reflexes back." Molly saw that he still seemed uncertain, and added, "When's the last time you did something like this?"
He set and reset his jaw for some time before sighing, and stepping back. "Okay. Get ready. Any second now."
Molly quickly took his place, and let the tips of her fingers rest on the button as she locked her eyes on the screen. She didn't watch the Angel, and she didn't watch the key - she chose a mirror, and watched it instead. She watched how much time it took for the mirror to make a full circle. Then she looked to the exact place she would need to freeze the mirror when the Angel got the key. Then, she shifted her eyes to the right of it. With her peripheral vision, she would see when the Angel was in the right place. Focusing on the Angel didn't matter. She waited.
"As soon as it has the key," the Doctor said, his voice anxious.
"Yep. Shut up." She wished she could see his face. He wasn't usually the one being told to shut up while someone else did something requiring focus.
The flickering of the Angel got closer and closer to the key. It moved half an inch, an inch, another – and in a handful of seconds, it would be in place.
She hoped she hadn't oversold her skills.
Inch. Inch. Inch.
"Now!" the Doctor shouted, as the key was suddenly in the Angel's grip, though its fingers were only a few inches from the floor where the key had been. Molly shook her head, and waited. "Molly!"
The Angel was standing properly again, and Molly watched her chosen mirror spin the circle, past the spot it needed to be – and flexed her fingers to press the button down.
Molly froze. The mirror froze. And the Angel froze. Molly saw its eyes reflected in the mirror. The Angel was staring at itself.
She released the air she hadn't realized she'd kept trapped in her lungs. "Jackpot." She turned to the Doctor with what she'd meant to be a teasing grin, but really was a relieved smile. "See? I told you."
He was also breathing a sigh of relief, and she felt his hand squeeze her shoulder. "Good. Very good." He kissed the top of her head, then turned and moved away, and she was grateful he couldn't see the lightness in her eyes she thought she had every time he praised her. No wonder his Companions always tried to impress him. His praise was addictive.
She turned and saw that he'd gone back to the transporter. "What's the next plan?"
"I don't know," he said, picking through various parts. "I'm working on it. I didn't have one for if the other Angels were able to move."
Lesedi stepped forward. "They'll be headed for your ship?"
"More than likely," said the Doctor. "They won't be able to get in without the key, but that doesn't do us much good, either."
"Should I send out a distress signal? I can't include a description of the problem, just a general alert, but at least someone might come help us."
The Doctor shook his head. "No. They'd have to land in the airlock, and the TARDIS would be flushed out into space. And then we'd have no TARDIS, and possibly still have a horde of Angels wandering about, and a group of people walking into them without knowing what's happening."
Molly frowned, and tried to think of a solution. She was sure if the Doctor couldn't, she wouldn't be able to, either. But maybe there was some way her point of view could help. Something from the show.
But nothing came to her.
"What are you doing?" she asked finally, as the Doctor continued to pick at the leftover pieces from the transporter being repaired.
"Thinking, mostly," he said. "I thought maybe I could try transporting the TARDIS here, but this isn't strong enough."
"And our system requires fingerprints to lock onto something," Lesedi added.
Molly moved toward a hexagonal platform that reached halfway up her thigh, and turned and sat on it with a sigh. She thought through Blink, she thought through Flesh and Stone, she thought through The Time of Angels, she thought through the Angels Take Manhattan. Nothing in those episodes seemed to help.
"Where's the crack in the universe when you need it?" she muttered, mostly to herself.
Lesedi's head turned towards her. "What? The what?"
"Nothing," the Doctor replied quickly, then looked at Molly. "That's no-" And then he turned his head quickly back towards the screen. "Oh."
As Molly slipped off the platform to find out what he saw, Lesedi rushed to the screen. "The feed is dead!"
The whole screen was black. The image of the Angel trapped by the mirror was gone. Molly's blood ran cold. "How could it go out like that?"
The Doctor was beside Lesedi in a second, and Molly came up to stand on the other side of him. He pressed buttons on the keyboard, but the screen remained black. "The other Angels. They drained the power." He hit a few more buttons, and a camera from the corridor outside the mirror room – the one they'd both almost died in minutes ago – showed them three Angels. One held the key.
"What?" Molly screamed. "How did they do that?!"
"The room was dark. The Angel couldn't see itself in the mirror." The Doctor sounded exhausted and disappointed. In himself, Molly assumed, for not realizing this would happen. She didn't blame him at all, but still, Molly felt frustration that all they'd done to lock that one Angel in place had been completely pointless. Would Hendrix still be alive if he hadn't been distracted by them?
Molly looked at the screen, and it began to flicker, and then went out. "They're going to drain the power as they go."
The Doctor stood and paced away, moving quickly. "They have the key. They'll be headed for the airlock." He ran his fingers through his hair as he continued pacing.
Lesedi pulled up the next camera, and then turned to look at him. "But no one can get to your ship for twenty-four hours, you said."
"They just have to wait," the Doctor replied. "And with how much power they're draining from this station, it could…it could mean they have the strength to penetrate a forcefield even as powerful as the one the TARDIS has. They may not have to wait long at all."
Molly felt sick as she watched the screen go dark again. "Looks like they're getting as much power as they can on the way." She glanced as Lesedi as she pulled up another camera. "I thought those Angels weren't experimented on?"
"They weren't."
Molly turned to the Doctor. "That means…" she stopped, uncertain. "Does that mean they could always move?"
The Doctor paused in his pacing to look at her a moment, but continued moving as he spoke. "Yes. Probably. They may have sensed the amount of time energy available here, and have just been feeding on that background energy since they arrived. And then the TARDIS lands here, much more of a feast than anything else they've had, and they decide it's time to start moving. They may even know that the others will return with the shuttle, and then they'll be full of power and with a ship to go wreak whatever havoc on the universe they want. Or they'll just take the TARDIS."
After a moment of silence, Lesedi said, "That sounds bad."
"It's about as bad as 'bad' gets, when it comes to Angels."
Molly watched another feed flicker, and then go out. "What do we do? How do we stop them?"
"I don't know!" the Doctor screamed, more violently than it seemed he'd meant to, as he immediately sighed, and then buried his face in his hands. "Sorry," he half-whispered, as he ran his fingers through his hair, then turned to start pacing again.
Molly glanced at Lesedi, who seemed shaken. But Molly knew the Doctor. The pain he must be in to make him scream. She turned back to him. "It's okay. Keep thinking." She turned to Lesedi. "Where are they? How much time until they get there?"
Lesedi turned away from the Doctor, and typed on the keyboard. This brought up a small selection of boxes of feeds from various cameras. She thought she'd seen all those corridors, so Molly assumed they were all the ones leading to the airlock. Lesedi pointed at one where she could just make out the top of a wing, and then at the one that was the door into the airlock. "Looks like two to five minutes, depending on how long it takes them to go while draining the power." But as she finished her sentence, the screen with the Angel's wing went out.
Molly tried, desperately, to think of something. Anything. Some miracle solution. But what was in this situation that they could control? The Angels were draining the power. They were going to get inside the airlock. If they were powerful enough, they'd open a path to the TARDIS. If they weren't, they'd simply wait them out. It was months before any backup would arrive. What was in their situation that they could change? What were they able to do to prevent the Angels from draining the TARDIS and coming back to kill them, or taking the TARDIS and killing hundreds or thousands of others? What could they do from the lab?
"Would opening a portal to another universe help us in any way, shape, or form?"
Lesedi shook her head. "Not that I can think of. I mean, it would save us, but we would be trapped there, and the Weeping Angels would still get loose here."
Molly looked to the Doctor, but he was still pacing as though he hadn't heard them at all, except he maybe looked a little more agitated. He'd already thought of that, of course. She wasn't able to out-think him.
What else did they have? What else was this lab capable of? Other than opening portals to other universes and collecting weird things, the lab didn't seem to do much else. And if it could help somehow, Lesedi would have thought of it by now. She lived and worked here, after all. She would know. Maybe if the mechanic were here, they'd have some other angle to look at things. But they'd taken the shuttle out of the airlock along with Lesedi's other colleagues, and -
Molly had the sensation of ice water running through her brain, then down the back of her neck and into her spine. She turned towards the Doctor. She saw his hands clasped behind his back, twitching. The set of his jaw. His narrowed eyes. The despair in his voice when he'd shouted, when he'd claimed he didn't know what to do next.
But he did know.
She tried to shout, but it felt like the air was punched out of her lungs. Instead, she heard a small, high-pitched beep, and Lesedi said, "That's it. They're in the airlock."
The Doctor spun around and came up to the screen. Lesedi took a few steps to the side so that he could have access to the keyboard. His eyes were dark, distant, locked on the image of the Angels in the airlock with the TARDIS in the background. The camera flickered.
Molly found her voice. "No!"
His mouth was in a grim, determined line before he said, "They're draining the power from the airlock. I think they'll get the TARDIS shields down long enough to get the key in. Once the key is in, the forcefield will disappear."
"Doctor, you can't."
He looked at her as though he were confused how she'd gotten there. "Can't what?"
Molly couldn't see his face clearly through the tears, and only a choked sound came out when she tried to speak. Instead, she shook her head, then looked at the screen in horror. It flickered again.
Lesedi leaned in to look closer at the screen. "What are you going to do?"
Molly saw the flash in the Doctor's eyes when he realized that Molly knew. He leaned in a little closer. "Tell me. What choice do I have?" His voice said he was certain there was no other option, but some part of his eyes pleaded with her to have some other plan, another way to save them.
They both knew she didn't. But still, all she could say was, "You can't do this."
"I have to."
"But the TARDIS-"
"I have to keep the Angels from draining her, or taking just enough power to escape in her. They cannot be allowed to leave this station."
"Doctor-"
"Please, Molly."
She closed her mouth, then nodded. There was nothing she could say.
"What are you going to do?" Lesedi asked.
The Doctor's expression began to turn towards misery, but he fixed it on determination. He began typing. "I'm going to open the airlock."
"What about your ship?"
Molly watched his throat constrict for a second. "I'm going to have to sacrifice the TARDIS."
Even Lesedi looked a little sick. "But it…it's clearly very unique."
"She is. The only one in the universe."
She looked at the TARDIS on the screen. "Are you sure?"
"Only way to be rid of the Angels."
Molly still couldn't comprehend this. "There must be some way to get her back."
"We're too close to the star. By the time I can get to a ship and get out there, she'll have been pulled in."
Molly stared at the blue box on the screen. She remembered her goodbye to the TARDIS, not long ago. She'd thought it was goodbye because she was leaving. Not because the TARDIS was about to float away in space, then be sucked into a star (her own absolute terror of that swept through her). Not that the Doctor would be saying goodbye, too.
She thought of all the time the Doctor spent repairing her, tweaking her, upgrading her. The only thing in the universe he had left of Gallifrey. More than his ship, the TARDIS was his home. His family. The whole center of his life. And he had to sacrifice it. Who would he be without the TARDIS?
"Let me do it," she found herself whispering.
"What?" The Doctor barely seemed to register that she'd spoken.
"You shouldn't have to do this," Molly said, her throat aching with tears. "But it should be someone who loves her."
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, and then back to the screen.
She tried again. "Doctor. Please. Let me do it instead. Don't make me watch you do this."
He seemed to be ignoring her, and she opened her mouth to make another argument, but then he closed his eyes. He sighed. It almost sounded as though in relief.
He stepped back, and Molly took his place. She listened to his quick instructions on how to open the airlock. She looked over at him. "Are you ready?"
The Doctor shook her head, and took a slow breath. "Do it."
She nodded, but it still took her a moment to force her fingers to move along the keys. She hesitated over the 'enter' key, and looked at the TARDIS again, memorizing her, the shape of her, the design of the doors, the placement of the words, the absolute bluest blue. This felt a little like she imagined executing a friend would feel like. She was killing the TARDIS.
Goodbye. She hit enter, and her heart broke.
They watched as the airlock door opened, and immediately everything was sucked out. The TARDIS and the Angels floated away together.
The Doctor reached over and switched off the camera. He waited a few seconds, and then switched it back on.
"The Angels were forced back into their natural form," he explained. "They'll be dead now. Or as close to it as they get. The sun will have them eventually."
He turned away from the camera, and Molly saw him move to the platform and sit, burying his face in his hands. Molly watched the TARDIS a moment more, and placed a kiss on the screen as she floated further away. Then she went to join the Doctor.
She didn't try to say anything. There were no words for this horrific loss. She leaned her head on his shoulder so he knew he wasn't alone, and sat still. Lesedi seemed to know to give them some space, and she had her own losses to mourn. She turned to begin clearing the items she'd used to blockade the door.
It was several minutes before the Doctor moved, and still all he did was sit up and lower his hands to his lap. Molly decided it was most merciful to pretend she didn't see the tears on his face, and instead took his hand. He covered her hand with his other, but they still sat quietly.
He'd just lost everything. How was she going to be able to leave him?
"Thanks," he whispered, finally. "I couldn't…"
"I know," she whispered back. The moment felt like something solemn and sacred, and called for softness. "You shouldn't have had to." He shouldn't have had to make the call to eject the TARDIS, either.
"It wasn't fair for you to-"
"It was the right thing to do."
"I'm sorry you-"
"Shhh." She made the sound as gently as she could, and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Don't worry about it."
He nodded, and she felt him rest his head on hers. She didn't like that she couldn't try to read his expression anymore, but she knew there was no real reason to, anyway. The only expression he could have now was misery and helplessness.
She closed her eyes, and all she saw for a moment was the TARDIS floating away. She forcibly replaced those images with other ones, the ones the TARDIS deserved for her to remember. The dance studio. The look of judgement when she'd found the diary. Laughing at the Doctor while he pretended to be repairing the TARDIS. The endless laundry hampers. Being used as a messenger system. Running to the TARDIS for shelter while in the Pine Barrens, first because they were afraid of the ghostly screaming, and then when it was a symbol of hope during the wildfire.
All those beautiful moments on the show, too. There were countless images of the Doctor dancing on the TARDIS, sharing moments with River. And – oh, no. When the TARDIS had been in Idris's body. When the TARDIS had been able to speak with words. To touch the Doctor. To cry. To say hello.
And now she was going to die.
Molly closed her eyes to fight the sobs, though she couldn't keep the tears back anymore. The Doctor needed space to be the one grieving. Her sobs wouldn't help support or comfort him. His everything was gone.
She couldn't imagine the Doctor trapped in one time. Limited by the speed of a ship; confined to one part of one galaxy. Was he going to have to get a regular job, too? A house? That was the most alien thing she'd ever known.
"Hello?" A voice that sounded like it was coming over a broken microphone came out from a computer across from them.
Lesedi rushed to the computer, held down a button, and leaned into the microphone. "Reid?!"
She felt the Doctor's head move from the top of hers as the voice answered, "Phiri?"
The excitement Lesedi felt almost vibrated around her. "Where are you? How are you communicating?"
"I'm on that Doctor bloke's ship. Ozols wanted me to investigate it, and the Doctor left it unlocked. But I'm stuck, I can't get out. I only just now figured out communications." The voice paused. "Well, actually, I think somehow the ship started them for me. These controls are ridiculous."
The Doctor was by Lesedi's side in a second. "You're on the TARDIS?"
"Uh – I guess. If that's what you call it." Reid was unapologetic about being on the ship. "The door's stuck. Can you get me out of here? The 'bigger on the inside' thing is freaking me out, and every time I try to go down a corridor, I end up back here."
Molly stood and approached, and was close enough to see Lesedi's look of worry. "The ship was ejected. You're out in space."
"I'm what?" Reid sounded outraged. "What did you do that for?"
Lesedi opened her mouth to explain, but the Doctor was faster. "Long story. Listen. You can get the TARDIS back on the station."
"How? How do you fly this thing?"
"I'm going to give you very detailed instruction," said the Doctor. "Follow it to the letter. Even if it sounds silly. Otherwise, you could end up anywhere, and I do mean anywhere."
"Sure. Whatever. Just get me out of here."
The Doctor grinned over at Molly, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever felt her heart so full. "Okay. Listen closely…"
The TARDIS had landed almost perfectly in the lab. The Doctor had needed to explain how to turn her on a dime when the door landed up against the wall, but eventually Reid was able to get out. Molly hugged the TARDIS tight, and watched as the Doctor ran a hand over her door, then rested his forehead against it. The smile of relief on his face was almost enough to make her cry again.
Lesedi explained everything that had happened to Reid, including the death of Ozols. Reid at least had enough grace to look stricken. When the story was finished, he looked around at each of them. "Well. Thank Mars I was in that box."
Molly half-expected the Doctor to be annoyed, but he just grinned back at Reid. "Thank you for invading my privacy," he said, but the gratitude sounded genuine.
Lesedi put out a distress signal, and turned the Doctor down when he offered to give her and Reid a ride home.
"There's a lot of repair work to be done here. And I just…" She looked around the lab with the same sort of adoration that the Doctor had looked at the TARDIS with. "This is my home. I need her now."
Reid nodded. "I'm not leaving her alone." But it wasn't clear if he meant Lesedi, or the lab.
Molly felt like celebrating. Though the death of Ozols tugged at her heart, they were all alive. She'd survived her encounter with the Angels. The Doctor had, too. And he still had the TARDIS. It felt like a win, and one worth of a champagne toast (or something less disgusting than champagne), balloons, confetti.
But then she saw her bag, and the reminder of why they were there crashed over her head. Every thought of winning was chased from her mind.
The Doctor saw where her gaze had locked.
"Well," he began, his hands rubbing together. "I suppose it's time to get back to what we came here for."
Lesedi glanced over from where she seemed to be checking the power levels of the station. "Oh! Right, of course. Molly still needs to get home."
"How'd she get here in the first place?" asked Reid.
"No idea," Molly answered. "I just sort of…woke up here."
Lesedi frowned, and grabbed a scanner of some sort from where it hung on the wall. "You just appeared in another universe? No technology used at all?"
"Nope," she said. "I went to sleep. I woke up on the TARDIS."
"That's fascinating," said Lesedi, as she started to scan Molly. "I've never heard of that before. Could we convince you to maybe stay a bit? A few quick experiments, just a couple days-"
"She's really quite anxious to get home," the Doctor said quickly. Though it wasn't the tiniest bit true, Molly was still grateful for him stepping in to keep her from becoming a lab experiment. She remembered when he'd suggested it might be painful.
"Well," Lesedi sighed, disappointed, lowering the scanner. "I'll just input this data and see if we can find your universe."
The Doctor followed her to the computer. "How do you do it?"
"Our home universes leave marks on us, sort of like a fingerprint," Lesedi explained. "Which is why our teleportation technology relies on fingerprints. It's sort of like our interdimensional travel machine, but on a much, much smaller scale."
Molly felt sick as Lesedi went into the more scientific explanations that Molly couldn't quite follow, aided now and then by Reid. She was back down to minutes or hours, depending on how long inputting the data took. Minutes or hours until she had to leave what had really felt like home. The only place that had felt like home since her father had brought her down into that basement.
How many more minutes? She turned to Lesedi. "How long until you think it'll be ready?"
Lesedi glanced up at her. "Oh, a few minutes. It doesn't take long."
A few minutes. Only a few minutes.
What would she be going back to? How much time would have passed? Was she just going to appear in some random person's hotel room, with everyone thinking she'd been kidnapped or killed? Would she appear in the hotel room, or some random, other place? It was meant to send her back to her universe, but no one had specified where. What if she appeared in an ocean?
And why were all those worries so much less painful than the mere thought of leaving the Doctor?
But she had to ask, anyway. "And am I just going to go back to where and when I left?"
"You should. Items we take back and forth always do, and the few of us who have gone to other universes experience the same thing." She looked up again. "We don't know how you got here, so I can't promise it'll be exactly the same. But you should be close to where you were, anyway, both physically and temporally."
Molly nodded, and then searched for the strength to turn her head and look at the Doctor. It was time to start saying goodbye, and she wanted to memorize every second of it, every bit of him. But once she turned her head to look at him, the end started.
She closed her eyes tight, took a breath, and turned her head to look.
He wasn't there.
"Um. Doctor?" She looked around, but didn't see him. An impossible fear seized her – had an Angel come here and taken him?! – before she saw the door to the TARDIS was open. He stepped out and shut the door a second later.
"Molly," he said, and gestured for her to come closer. She walked up next to him, and leaned against the TARDIS. He looked excited, which broke her heart in an odd way she didn't want to examine.
"Doctor," she began, but she didn't know how to start thanking him for everything he'd done for her, and given her.
"Sorry, I had to pop in and grab this," he said, reaching into his pocket.
"What?"
He pulled his hand out and held it in front of her: a golden key on a string, slowly turning with the light shining on it. "I was going to give you the other one."
She couldn't cry. Not now. She didn't want his last memory of her to be her crying. But she couldn't stop the sharp intake of breath that gave away her body's attempt to cry, anyway. She reached out, and he dropped it in the palm of her hand. "A key to the TARDIS," she said, her voice almost reverent. She looked up at him with a small smile. "I'm leaving. Why give this to me now?"
"You never know when you might need it," he said, and she thought she caught sadness under the excitement. He folded her hand over the key. "A keepsake, I suppose. A goodbye gift from me and the TARDIS."
Molly put the key around her neck, and then placed a hand against the TARDIS, and tried to memorize the feel of the grain of the wood beneath her hand. "Thank you." She turned back to the Doctor and wrapped her arms around his chest. "Thanks, Doctor."
She felt his arms go around her shoulders. "Of course, Molly."
She waited for him to pull away first, but he didn't seem to have any intention to as he hugged her to him tighter. She returned the gesture. She was grateful that, despite his deciding it was time for her to go, he was still sad to say goodbye to his best friend. It was more painful than she'd thought it would be, and she'd thought it would hurt like hell. Even the bad foster homes and being shot didn't compare to this.
Molly tried not to choke on the way her throat swelled as she fought the tears. When she felt oxygen flowing through it again, she said, "I'm going to miss you. So much." What was the point in seeming cool and unbothered now?
"Me, too," he replied. Then, "I mean, I'll miss you. Not that I'll miss me. I'll be right here. But I'll miss you loads."
She smiled. That was her Doctor.
Finally, she felt steady enough to pull back, and only with that realization did she notice she was dizzy. She looked up at him, smiling. The Doctor. She was going to have to go back to only seeing him on the screen. What would it be like, to see her best friend, trapped in a show with lines and special effects and the same adventures on repeat, unable to interact with him at all? Maybe this had ruined her comfort show, after all.
She had one last look at the light gathering around him. She almost laughed. "You have no idea what it's like to meet you."
The Doctor returned her smile. "Same."
"Oh, stop it," she laughed, giving him a light shove. Maybe the last time.
"Never," he said, still grinning. "It's been an honor, Molly Quinn. Really. An honor."
She tried to say it back, but again felt her throat close up. Instead, she stood on her toes and gave him one final kiss on the cheek.
"All ready!" Lesedi announced. "You can just hop on that platform there and we'll get you home."
Molly closed her eyes so he wouldn't see her panic. This was too soon. There was so much more she wanted to say.
But when she looked back at his eyes, she thought maybe he already knew it all. Maybe too many words would clutter this goodbye.
But one worry still tugged at her sleeve. "You know what I'm going to say, right?"
She saw a v form between his almost nonexistent brows as he frowned. "No. What are you going to say?"
"Don't-"
"-travel alone," he sighed. "Yes, yes. Bossy."
"I'm not bossy. I'm the boss."
"You know, you remind me of Donna sometimes. And Clara."
"Thanks!" But the thought of his old companions brought her even more pain, for so many reasons. Sometimes he didn't decide when it was time. Sometimes, they chose. They left him. And then…
She looked at Lesedi. "One minute?" Lesedi nodded and turned away to work on something with Reid. Molly turned back to the Doctor. "So, I just…"
"Just what?"
Maybe it was selfish to say this. But maybe she'd earned a little selfishness. "People travel with you, and they see the universe and time differently."
He smiled briefly. "Yeah. Great, isn't it?"
Molly nodded, then shook her head. "Sarah Jane and Rose and Martha all went on to do things with that vision. They couldn't just go back to ordinary life after everything. But…" She tried to organize the chaos of her emotions into coherent thoughts. "None of this exists in my universe. What if I can't just go back? What do I do?"
She watched as his smile faded. He was also worried for what she would do after all this, like she was worried about him. She could even see some tears threatening to spill in his green eyes, and felt relieved that she was allowed to cry a little now, too. "I don't know," he admitted after a moment. "I don't…"
It had been unfair to ask him. "I…meant it rhetorically." She wasn't sure she had, but it was better to say so. She faked a smile. "I'll figure it out. I always do. I've learned a lot, and I think wanting more of this will help me find direction in my life. I didn't want to be a journalist, really. Maybe I'll find something I can do to travel and help people. The Peace Corps, or something." This idea had come to her as she was speaking. It wasn't terrible. It wasn't what she wanted, either.
"You're going to do amazing things, I know it." He took her hands. "And I hope they somehow renew the show so I can see all the incredible things you do."
She squeezed his hands. "Thanks for your faith in me."
"I've never once doubted you." She narrowed her eyes until he added, "Well, never doubted what you're capable of."
"Thanks so much for…everything." Helping take care of her when she'd woken up stranded in the wrong universe. Taking her to see all of time and space, which really had made her a better person, she felt. Showing her that she hadn't abandoned her mother to her death. Being her best friend. Her first best friend. Maybe the only one she'd ever have. It would be painful to lose him, for him, but also because she'd become almost adjusted to the cold of being alone, and being here had warmed her. Going back to that cold was going to be so much more painful than if she'd never been warm at all.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you, too, Molly. I don't know if you realize how much you've done for me." He kissed the top of her head.
It felt like a completion. Not the ending she wanted – she didn't want it to end – but something satisfying she could always remember. She moved forward and picked up her bag. "Well. I guess it's time."
"Right you are," the Doctor agreed. He caught Lesedi's attention with a wave, and she came back.
She turned to Molly. "Ready?"
No. "Ready."
"Hop up on the platform, then," Lesedi said, and gestured to it.
Molly gave the Doctor one more look, and he nodded encouragingly. She assumed he had mistaken the fear on her face for leaving him with fear of the transport itself.
She stepped up onto the platform, swinging the bag over her shoulder, and turned. She could see the Doctor through a large gap between the mirrors. She felt sick, but knew she had to hold it together. The TARDIS had been taking too long with the scan, and they'd come here to send her back. Clearly, the Doctor had decided it was time for her to go. She had to trust that.
Something in those thoughts made an odd, electric-like buzz fill her body. But what was it? What part of this situation had suddenly felt so very wrong? Not in that she wanted to stay, and leaving felt wrong, but in that some part of this was wholly wrong.
The TARDIS had taken too long. And yet…
"Okay, we're set," said Lesedi.
Molly glanced at her, and then back at the Doctor, then back to Lesedi. "Wait."
"What is it?"
Molly looked back at the Doctor. "The scan here only took a few minutes."
The Doctor frowned. "…Yes?"
Molly turned her head to look at the TARDIS for a moment, and then back at the Doctor. "The TARDIS…"
"What about her?"
"The scan was going for almost a month, and she hadn't found anything."
"What about it?"
"But the lab found it in a few minutes," said Molly, her words coming so quickly now that she didn't have time to fully process what it was she'd just realized. "The TARDIS may not be built specifically for visiting other universes, to track a path through other universes – but she's powerful. And after a month, there was nothing. Here, it was only a few minutes."
The Doctor swallowed so hard she could see it. "Well – well, there are – uh – complications, you know, and the TARDIS isn't – isn't built for…" He cleared his throat. "Isn't built for that sort of thing, as you said."
"And you knew this lab was here the whole time."
"Yes. Right. About that…" His hands were busying themselves by adjusting his coat, tangling his fingers, adjusting his bow tie. "It just…it just didn't occur to me. Until you asked about it. Said something about River mentioning…the scan."
She stared as his words and gestures settled into her mind. Then she folded her arms across her chest, and felt her brows twitch upward. "Okay, Doctor. What really happened?"
"It was – well, just as I said, and-"
"Doctor."
He closed his eyes for a moment, and looked thoroughly like a child caught lying about how the lamp had broken with their ball beside it. Then he looked up at her, seemingly ready to confess. "So, that first night, when you first arrived, and I had all that information scanned in from when I thought you were – well, something else…"
"Yeah?"
"And I started the scan to get you home, and we went to the wardrobe, and then you said you'd travel with me until the scan was finished, and then you went to bed, and I…"
"And you what?"
His eyes shifted to the side. "…may have turned the scan off."
He'd turned the scan off. That very first night. He'd turned it off. "So you lied to me?"
"Rule one."
She nodded sagely. "Don't wander off."
He seemed relieved she was teasing him. "Yes. I did lie."
She went through all the times she'd mentioned wondering how much time she had, what would happen when she got back, all the worry and fear and dread. "You lied to me a lot."
"…well, we've been having fun, haven't we?"
She couldn't argue that. But her mind was swimming with confusion. She didn't understand fully why he'd done it, why he hadn't just asked her to stay for a while. But he had been coming out of a dark period. He'd admitted to trapping people during that period. This wasn't unusual for him at the time. And probably, he was desperate for a new Companion, and she was his favorite character. He hadn't wanted to risk her saying no.
Still, she felt a prick of betrayal, and she wasn't sure if she should be more flattered, or more angry. "Were you ever going to turn it back on again?"
He seemed offended by the implication that he would trick her into staying forever. "Of course!"
"When?"
"When…when we'd had enough time together."
"And what was 'enough' going to look like? Did you even think about it?"
"I did, actually."
"And?"
"I said I'd thought about it, not that I had an answer," he said. He spread his hands in one of his common gestures. "It would look like enough."
"So you were just going to decide that on your own?"
"I couldn't tell you I'd turned the scan off, now, could I?"
Angry, definitely angry. "So you were just going to hold me hostage until you were in the mood to send me back?"
"It wasn't…supposed to be like…" He seemed to be running out of ways to defend himself. "I just wanted some time."
"And you've had enough now?" Screw pretending she was okay with him deciding it was time. It turned out, no one else had been given a say.
He seemed confused. "What do you mean?"
"You've decided you've had enough time with me."
He frowned, and took a few steps to be closer to the platform. "What are you talking about?"
Thoroughly giving in to her anger now, she put her hands on her hips, and made certain her voice was sharp enough to prove that she was angrier than she'd been since she'd arrived. "You decided you're sick of me, and you're sending me home!"
"I never said that!"
"You decided to bring me to this lab!"
"You kept bringing up going home! I thought you were anxious to leave."
"I thought you wanted me to go!"
"Why would I want you to go?"
"Why would I want to go?"
They stared at each other in silence. Molly found she was struggling to fully process what had just happened.
The Doctor was faster at processing. "So…why are you going?"
Molly dropped her arms to her sides. "I don't know. Why am I going?"
"You know…" he started. "We could always…come back. Later."
"I mean…" Molly started. Was this really happening? Could she stay longer? Could they decide when she left, together? "How am I supposed to punish you for lying to me if I leave now?"
The corners of the Doctor's mouth twitched upward. "Then…?"
Molly smiled. "Help me down."
She set her hands on his shoulders while he wrapped his arms around her waist, lifted her up, then set her down on the floor. He glanced over his shoulder, and Molly followed his gaze to Lesedi and Reid, who both looked like they desperately wished they had some popcorn while watching her and the Doctor fight. "We can just…talk about the lying bit later, yeah?"
"Oh, yeah," she said. "We're definitely going to talk about this later."
But even as she said it, she wasn't sure she would bring it up. He'd tricked her, forced her to stay in this universe without her consent, lied to her, left her to be anxious about whether or not she would ever go back to her universe…
But she couldn't help but feel grateful. There would be a later. She was going to stay.
It wasn't time to say goodbye to the TARDIS, after all.