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"I'm sorry that phone call was so difficult for you. I'm proud of you for doing that," Jess turns to her as he parks the car at her old home. She faces him, meeting his dark eyes, but his words make her chest warm, "Thank you, I'm proud of myself too. And Jess, I'm so sorry you had to hear all that. I really appreciate you being there for me, your support made it feel so much easier."

He nods and swallows, "it didn't seem easy at all. You were…so wrecked. I know I screwed up a lot but, I desperately hope I've never made you feel that way."

"Never, Jess. You never have and I know you never will. You wouldn't betray my trust like that."

"You're so strong, Ror. I know sometimes you don't see it but, you are."

She smiles softly, "You have to have a backbone to deal with the Huntzbergers."

Jess brings her hand to his lips, "He's a jerk."

"You were right. When you met him in Hartford."

Jess's face tightens up, "I didn't want to be right. I didn't want any of this for you."

She leans over and kisses him briefly, then gets out of the car and Jess follows.

"I think I'm going to go see Lane," Rory states after they get settled in her old room.

Jess nods, "You should. I have to get some work done. Gonna go to the diner and use the apartment. I'll bring back dinner later?"

Rory smiles and nods. She walks up to him and puts her arms around his neck, and he beats her to her goal by kissing her fiercely on the lips.

"Thank you for helping me do hard things," she whispers in his ear. He holds her tighter and kisses the side of her head.

"Always. And you'll help me do hard things too." He states, pulling back to look in her eyes.

She knows he is talking about Liz. Her face softens in sympathy, "Of course Jess. I'm here for you."


"Oh my god Rory. You would think I haven't talked to you for years with all this news you just dropped on me!"

"I know. I'm so sorry Lane."

"Why are you sorry? It's a two-way street, I haven't exactly made myself available or reached out."

"Still. It's weird that Jess knew all this stuff before you did. You're my best friend."

"It's not really that weird, is it? We are best friends but we're very low maintenance. Your relationship with Jess has always been intense. It makes sense he is around for you during all this shit. He wants to make sure you stay true to yourself."

"That does seem to be a popular word to describe us. I guess you're right. He's only ever wanted me to be me," she replies with a growing smile, and the realization leaves her momentarily breathless.

"So, you guys are together again? Officially?"

Rory contemplates this with a half shrug, "Well we haven't had an official conversation about it. I want to, but I don't know what to say. After how patient he's been with me…what words could possibly be enough?"

Lane fixes her with a look, "It's Jess. A man of few words. I don't think it will take much."

Rory can't help but giggle at that, "No, he's different now. The number of syllables in his sentences have increased exponentially."

"Really? So, he's a talkative ray of sunshine now?" Lane asks skeptically. Rory giggles at the thought.

"I wouldn't go that far, but his mouth is upturned a lot more than it used to be."

"Oh, I bet he's putting that mouth of his to work with you."

Rory gasps and blushes at Lane's words.

"Come on, Rory. You two are intense, remember? I imagine the sex is no different. I've seen you two eat each other's faces."

Rory bites her lip and nods, demurely. Lane rolls her eyes.

"How can you still act all innocent after everything you've just told me?"

"Fine. Yes, it's incredible," Rory confesses with a sigh, "It's the best sex I've ever had and somehow, it's been different each time. Gentle, rough, a little dirty. I can't lie, I love it."

Rory's face is beet red, but she feels exhilarated finally sharing this with someone. Lane's jaw drops and then turns into a knowing smile.

"I would expect nothing less from the two of you. It took me and Zack some time, you know after the first time we ever had sex and it was miserable and resulted in my two adorable monsters, but we finally know each other's body's so well and it's amazing. Something tells me you guys got it on the first try."

"Well, we are older than you and Zack were the first time you had sex. And we've both had…experience. Though I honestly don't know the extent of his, and I'm not sure I want to."

Lane nods, "I'm all about sisterhood and not hating on exes, but some things a girl just doesn't need to know."

"Amen, sister friend."

They share a smile and then burst into giggles.

"I do have to ask though, was Logan not rough and dirty in bed? He totally strikes me as the type. You know, dominating, a little controlling."

Rory's smile begins to slip, and she whispers, "I would say not using protection without my consent is pretty controlling."

Lane gives her a rueful look, "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. It was stupid of me to say that."

Rory shakes her head and shrugs, "It's okay. It's just crazy that he would do that to me, or to himself. I don't know that I've fully realized the weight of what happened yet. But to answer your question, he was best at chasing his own pleasure."

Lane sighs, "That sounds exactly like him. I mean, that's how he is in life isn't it? Whether he was chasing you, chasing his dreams to California, or you know…getting you pregnant. Seems like he lives for himself."

Rory's gaze turns to the floor as she thinks about her best friend's words. It would be easy to write Logan off as selfish, and she knows that is part of who he is, but it's not like she isn't guilty of the same trait. He had great qualities too, and she really believes he cared about her. It's hard to reconcile all those different parts of him, to put one label on him as good or bad. He's just Logan, a man she once loved; both of them humans who have made mistakes. Him more than her maybe, especially when it came to their relationship.

"I don't know if his sexual performance has anything to do with his personality, or vice versa, but I used to enjoy sleeping with him, so I don't want to knock him completely," Rory finally responds quietly.

"You're too kind for this world, Rory." Lane says taking one of Rory's hands in hers, "But really, it sounds like you and Jess have something great that will grow into something amazing. You'll find the words to tell him how you feel, you've read every book, you're a writer, and you're a Gilmore. Words shouldn't be an issue for you."

Rory nods and slowly realization dawns on her, and she gets an idea. She hadn't been able to figure out what to get Jess for Christmas. No material thing made any sense. But she can give him words.

"Lane, I am so sorry but I just realized something I need to do. I have to go."

"Okay. You're in town for over a week, right? I'll see you again."

"Yes! Absolutely. Thanks for being understanding."

"Always. But Rory, before you go, are you okay? Mentally and emotionally, I mean?"

Rory smiles softly at her friend's love and concern, "I've been better…but I'm working on it. I'll be okay."

The two women hug, and Rory walks quickly home to get to work while Jess is out of the house.


Jess enters the kitchen early in the evening and greets Rory sitting at the table.

"Hey, I brought burgers and fries. Caesar threw some steamed broccoli in there too. Apparently, Luke called and said that if you or I order any food to make sure to include a fruit or vegetable."

"Super protective Luke! Hope you're planning on eating that because I'm not." She gets up and grabs plates and drinks to set the table.

Jess shrugs, "wouldn't hurt. You writing something?"

Rory shakes her head as she sits down at the table again.

"No, just sending my resume to Logan and catching up on email." As she is about to close her laptop, she sees an email come in and she opens it.

"Oh my god!" She exclaims, "Time magazine emailed me for an interview! Well, an introductory call but usually after that is an official interview!"

Jess smiles and leans over to kiss her cheek, "that was fast. Congratulations."

"Yeah, I guess he is going to keep his word on this. I'm setting up a call for tomorrow morning, that's okay right?" She looks at him, unsure of when and how he wants to address the Liz situation.

He nods, "Yeah, I was thinking we would visit Doula after we eat if you're up for it. And maybe dinner with them tomorrow."

She gives him a soft smile and nods, "Of course."

She finishes her email and sends it, closing her laptop and pushing it to the side.

"How was Lane?" Jess asks as they eat.

"Great. She's the best. I told her everything. She wants to kill Logan."

"Tell her to take a number," Jess jokes but it falls flat. Rory frowns and brushes her fingers on his arm.

"Jess…we should talk about everything you heard today. Do you want to?"

"It's what I didn't hear that I would rather talk about."

"What do you mean?"

"Why were you trying to beat up your car?"

Rory immediately starts to fret with her sleeves, and she looks away from Jess.

"He said that… 'maybe subconsciously' he didn't use protection because if I got pregnant there would be a chance for us to be together. It's…insane if it's true."

Jess scoffs, pushing his plate away and turning to Rory, "it's basically abusive if it's true."

Rory looks at him sharply, "Jess, that's a huge accusation. He was drunk. I'm sure drunker than me. I don't know if it's true or if he was just trying to rationalize somehow. I did ask him about fifty times why he did it. Maybe he just felt the need to come up with an answer."

"Rory; no matter how you look at it, he played with your life."

"I guess," Rory admits, "but if I had forced him to take me home or turned him down, none of it would have happened. So, I'm responsible too."

Jess looks at her incredulously, "He knew you weren't going to turn him down. So again, anyway you look at it, he messed with your life."

Rory looks down at the table, uncertain of how to respond.

Jess continues in her silence, "It doesn't matter for him because he's rich and privileged and always has a fallback plan. Not to mention he's a man so he doesn't have to walk around bearing the evidence of his infidelity. And he got his wife pregnant too. How do you figure he would have handled the two of you pregnant at the same time? I'm sorry but you wouldn't come out as the top priority. He fucked around with your life, and his wife's."

Rory meets his eyes again, "Logan isn't like that, he's not manipulative and controlling. It wasn't a big, premeditated plan. If it's even true, I'm sure it was an in the moment thing."

Jess can't help but roll his eyes, feeling somewhat frustrated, "Why are you making excuses for him? Even if he did make it up during your phone call, it wasn't for nothing. He wants something from you, he probably wanted you to tell him there is still a chance."

"Jess, it doesn't matter because there are no more chances for him. I don't want him or his life."

"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm not worried about you doing anything. I'm worried about him wielding his power in other ways to control your life. You've just left a huge part of it in his hands, something that I more than encouraged you to do."

"I told him no strings attached and no conditions. And he agreed."

Jess gives her a look and she heaves a frustrated sigh.

"What am I supposed to do? You told me to do this, and I did it, and it was hard. And I've already had Time magazine contact me, so it seems to have been worth it."

Jess sighs, "I know, it's great and I'm really happy for you. I'm just worried I steered you in the wrong direction. Now that I know what I do, I don't like that this guy has this kind of control over your future."

"He doesn't though. I'm in control of my future, he's just helping me."

He shakes his head like he can't accept it that easily, "It's almost like you're giving him exactly what he wanted anyway. He wanted some control over your life, and now I've talked you in to basically doing that with your career. I should have listened to you when you said you didn't want to do this. I didn't realize the extent of his feelings for you or his power."

"Jess…" Rory's voice softens, and she places a hand on one of his, "I'm going to be okay. Whether he interferes with my life or not."

He meets her eyes with uncertainty, clear concern for her written on his face.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about. I'm glad you pushed me to do this," she urges, squeezing his hand.

"Are you sure? Because…maybe I can get Truncheon to create a role for you that lets you travel and write the way you want, and we can tell Logan to fuck off."

Rory's lips perk up slightly at his words, but she shakes her head in disagreement.

"No. It's okay. I'm going to be fine. And I'll have you to help me if something goes wrong. Right?" She looks at him for reassurance. After a beat, he visibly relaxes and nods.

"You'll have me."

"Then I'll be more than fine. Are you ready to go see Doula? I wonder if she read Emma yet. Oh, I'll go grab a book from my room to give her just in case!"

Jess smiles at her back as she runs to do just that.

On the drive over to his mother's house, Rory can feel Jess's energy shift. It becomes more anxious as they get closer, and it's unsettling to her. He isn't like this with anything. He keeps grabbing at his hair, tapping his foot, and occasionally she sees him dig his fingernails into his palm. She isn't sure if she should try to placate him or let him be. As they pull into the driveway, she turns off the car and turns to him. Grabbing his hand she asks, "are you okay?"

He half shrugs, "Depends on what's inside."

"Only one way to find out," she says, squeezing his hand.

They walk up to the door and Jess knocks as he opens it.

"Doula? Liz?" He calls from the entry way.

"Jess!" They hear a high-pitched voice and the pattering of feet. Doula appears and runs up to him, giving him a big hug.

"Why are you here? Hi Rory!"

"Hi Doula," she smiles and is surprised when the girl gives her a hug too.

"Came a couple days early for Christmas."

"Jess? Is that you?" Liz's voice echoes through the house as she walks towards them, "Oh wow! My son comes over without me even asking. Are there pigs flying?" She jokes and walks up to Jess to give him a hug, which he returns reluctantly. She turns to Rory and takes her by the arms, "Rory, hi! I'm surprised you're here and not in Nantucket. It's good to see you."

They share an awkward hug.

"Oh my god wait," Liz exclaims, taking a step back from the both of them and looking them over, "Are you two together again? That's amazing! I saw how you were looking at each other at Thanksgiving, it was only a matter of time!"

One side of Rory's mouth twitches up at her enthusiasm, but Jess doesn't reflect that sentiment and instead mumbles, "I'm surprised you remember."

Liz's face falls and she puts a hand on her chest, "What's that supposed to mean? I remember just fine. Including you berating me for wanting to send Doula to renaissance camp."

His mouth forms into a hint of a scowl, but before Jess can respond, Doula speaks, "I'm so excited for renaissance camp! I can't wait to paint every day, and we are going to hang out with horses! My friend Tanya is going to come too."

Jess shuts his mouth and gives her a kind smile.

"See? Anyway, I'm glad you guys are here. I have a few last-minute errands to run if you know what I mean," she winks and points her head in Doula's direction, "so if you have time, I think I will run out and do them now. Do you mind hanging here with Doula?"

Jess shrugs, "It's what we came here for so no, we don't mind."

Liz smiles, ignoring, or pretending to ignore, the insinuation that he isn't there for her.

"Great! TJ is sleeping already. He's been helping out at Jackson's farm early in the mornings for some extra cash and free vegetables. Jackson always gives him the ones that look funny, TJ loves it! Last week he brought home a head of broccoli that looked like the tree of life from the Lion King."

Jess scoffs, "Isn't that what all broccoli looks like? Has he never seen any before? Guess they didn't have it in the vegetable cult."

"No, this one had an extra big stalk, like a tree trunk. It was cool!" Doula chimes in, and once again Jess catches himself making fun of parts of his little sister's life. It's a fine line and somehow, he feels like he keeps ending up on the wrong side.

"I bet it was. Doula, why don't you go pick out a movie? Rory and I will be in the living room in a minute."

"You want me to choose?!" She exclaims, excitement in her voice.

"Yes, but we have veto power."

"What's veto power?"

"Jess means we make the final decision," Rory leans towards Doula conspiratorially, "Between you and me, I think he's trying to avoid watching Harry Potter movies."

Doula sighs petulantly and starts to run away, "Fine! No Harry Potter!"

Jess waits half a second after Doula leaves the room to ask, "So where you going Liz? You going to be coming back tonight or should we plan for a slumber party?"

Rory eyes him and he is suddenly closer to Liz, as if he's scrutinizing something. But Liz seems unaffected, and unaware of his actions.

"No, no. I just need to pick up a few last-minute gifts for Doula. I'll be back before you know it. Thanks for doing this," as she responds, she is pulling on her coat from the closet and grabs her purse off a hook. Jess runs a hand through his hair, and Rory can see he is struggling with whether he should be more inquisitive right now or not. Rory puts a gentle hand on his arm, hoping to calm him enough to let Liz leave. He turns to her and breathes in deeply; she decides to finish the conversation.

"You're welcome, Liz. We're happy to spend some time with her. I'm hoping she read the book I gave her at Thanksgiving."

"Oh, great! Well have a good time, there are snacks and drinks in the kitchen so help yourself. Doula has really been into board games and cards lately so don't be surprised if she stops your movie short to play a game. See you in a bit!" After Liz walks out the door, Jess exhales.

"You okay?" Rory asks quietly and he shrugs.

"I don't know if it's in my head because of what Luke said, but she smelled like gin to me."

Rory's shoulders drop, "Well, it's Christmas. Gin smells like pine needles, right? Maybe it's not what you think. She didn't seem drunk to me."

Jess shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Come on, let's go hang out with your sister. She's waiting for us."

They walk to the living room, arms touching and find Doula on the floor surrounded by movies.

"Do you guys like The Nightmare Before Christmas? I like it because it's about Christmas but it's not lame, so maybe we should watch that because Christmas is in three days."

Jess half smiles and turns to Rory, "What do we think? She makes some good points."

Rory grins and nods, "Absolutely, great choice! Will it bother you if I sing along to all of the songs though? You should know what you're getting yourself into."

"We can sing them together; Jess are you going to sing?" Doula jumps up and goes to put the DVD in.

He chuckles and shakes his head, "No chance. But I will be your one-man audience. I can clap and everything."

Rory turns to him with a smirk, "I've never seen you clap for anything as long as I've known you, not even The Distillers. I knew you loved kids."

He shakes his head and plops down on the couch. He pats the seat next to him for her to join and she happily does. Doula joins them on the couch after starting the movie.

"Hey Doula, did you read any of Emma yet?" Rory leans over and asks.

Doula looks down at her lap, "I tried, but it was a little boring. Mom says maybe I'm not an 'avid reader' like you guys. I'm sorry, I'll get it for you so you can have it back."

Rory reaches over and places her hand on her arm before she can get up, "Don't be silly, it's okay! I want you to keep it, just in case one day when you're older you want to give it another shot. But you don't have to apologize for not liking it, I should have known better. I mean, you're clearly more of a fantasy novel type. I brought The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe to loan you, it's much more your speed if you want to borrow it."

"I think you would like it," Jess says, turning to his sister.

She grins and nods, "Okay, I'll try it!"

"And if you don't like it or if you don't even like reading at all that's cool too," Jess adds, tapping her kindly on the arm.

"I know but mom says you guys are really smart because you read so much, and I want to be really smart too."

"You are really smart, you read Harry Potter. And look at your taste in Christmas movies," Jess smirks and gestures to the tv, "and I'm not that intelligent, by the way. Rory is, and she studied very hard. Believe me, there were many times I wanted to hang out with her in high school and she would turn me away to study."

Doula laughs, but Rory says, "Don't listen to him, he is intelligent. He's a published author!"

"I know, but he said I can't read any of his books until I'm older."

"You wouldn't like them anyway," Jess insists, "you would find them incredibly boring if you tried to read them now. And you would learn a lot of new curse words and then I'd get in trouble."

"Please! I know all the bad words. Kids in my school say them."

"Really? I guess Stars Hollow elementary has been corrupted since I've been there."

"I'm sure you were just adorably innocent and oblivious," Jess smirks at Rory.

"Hey! I kicked Chuck Presby on the playground once."

"Oh, I stand corrected. You were bad to the bone, Gilmore."

Rory rolls her eyes but bites her lip to keep herself from leaning over and kissing the smirk off his face. He must be able tell she's craving something, because he finds her hand and brings it to his lips for a kiss. Jess is grateful it goes unnoticed by Doula, so he doesn't have to answer fifty questions.

Half an hour into the movie, Jess stands up from the couch despite Rory's quiet cry at the loss of contact.

"I'm gonna grab a drink. You guys want anything?"

"Popcorn please!"

"I second that," Rory nods, "and a soda please."

"Want us to pause the movie?" Doula calls after him as he walks to the kitchen.

"No, don't bother. I already know that 'Something's Up With Jack', so not missing anything."

The two girls giggle on the couch.

Jess enters the kitchen and finds the popcorn. He puts it in the microwave, then turns around to survey the room, wondering where to start looking. He starts with the fridge and freezer, but only finds a six pack of beer and half a bottle of wine. He begins opening cabinets, and drawers in case she's hoarding small bottles. He looks above the fridge, in the oven. He finds a small cabinet near the oven filled with kitchen towels, and he has a sudden memory of her wrapping up bottles of booze in towels before Luke came over once when he was a kid. He starts to rummage through them, carefully moving them around in case he breaks something. But he still doesn't find anything. He stands up with a frustrated sigh. He wants to feel good about this, he wants to believe that she really isn't drinking but instead he just feels like she's gotten even better over the years at hiding it. He grabs the popcorn and a soda for Rory and heads back to the living room.

"What happened to the movie?" He asks, seeing Rory and Doula on the floor with a deck of cards.

"Doula wants to play Uno instead. That's okay, right?"

"Kids these days have terrible attention spans," he sighs, handing Rory her drink and the popcorn, "Sure we can play uno."

"Jess, I've seen that movie before so many times! I could probably recite it for you while we play cards, if you really want."

Jess takes a seat on the floor with them, back against the couch.

"As much as I would love that, it might distract me from beating you. Can't take any chances."

"In your dreams," Doula rolls her eyes as she starts dishing out cards. He catches Rory's eyes, and she gives him an inquiring look. He shakes his head and mouths, nothing.

After a couple rounds of Uno, something occurs to Jess.

"Hey Doula, do you know where mom was before she came to the door today?"

Doula shrugs, "probably her room. I was busy trying to learn the choreography to "7/11" so I'm not sure. Why?"

"Just curious," Jess shrugs, "7/11? Like the convenience store?"

"It's a song by Beyonce, get with the times Mariano," Rory teases.

"Yeah old man, Beyonce is a goddess," Doula pokes at him, then asks, "Are you looking for the Christmas presents? I heard you closing cabinets in the kitchen. You won't find them, I've tried. I think they're in mom and dad's room. She always keeps the door locked."

Jess and Rory catch each other's eyes upon hearing that detail.

"How long has she been doing that?"

"Umm," Doula looks up at the ceiling as she racks her memory, "I think when the school year started. Because one day I got home after school, I was supposed to go to my friend's, but she couldn't hang out, and I went upstairs to look for Mom and went into the room without knocking. I don't think she liked that."

"Huh. Was she…was there a reason she was upset about it?"

"I don't know, it looked to me like she was just organizing her closet. I'm not sure but she said that it's rude to enter people's rooms without knocking first. So now she locks the door and I'm forced to knock every time."

Jess looks down, pretending to study his cards as he thinks about these implications. He feels a comforting hand on his lower back and it's a welcome reminder that he's not alone with this.

By ten at night, Liz still has not yet returned. Rory is resting against Jess's arm on the couch and Doula is on the floor, engrossed in "Prisoner of Azkaban" playing on the TV. Jess caved in to letting her watch it so that he would have time to think. He is trying not to worry or panic about Liz's whereabouts; it is close to Christmas after all. There's traffic, stores are open later than usual, etc. He turns to look at Rory and she is softly snoozing, arms crossed over her chest and mouth half open. It brings a relaxed smile to his face, but he feels guilty as he remembers that she has an important phone call the next morning. He runs a hand tenderly over her face and then down her arm. She stirs and looks up at him.

"It's after ten. Sorry it's getting so late."

She shakes her head, "It's okay. I'm sure she will be back soon."

Jess shrugs, "why don't you head home and go to bed? I don't want to mess up your interview in the morning."

"How will you get back? It's too cold to walk."

"Don't worry about me. I'll stay here or borrow Liz's car maybe."

Rory looks him over, assessing his state of mind.

"Are you sure? My call isn't until 10am. I can be up late."

He looks to make sure Doula isn't paying attention to them, and then leans over to kiss her lips and then her head.

"I'm sure. Plus, you've hardly had any time to do your research so even if you don't sleep, I know you have better things to do."

"Not better," Rory shakes her head and squeezes his hand, "just time sensitive. Okay I'm going to go. Call me if you need a ride, or anything else."

It's another hour and a half before Jess sees Liz pull into the driveway. He had been looking out the window every ten minutes since 11pm. Doula had fallen asleep on the floor during the movie, and he carried her to her room and tucked her into bed half an hour ago. He waits anxiously for her to come inside, pacing between the kitchen and the entry way. Finally, she opens the front door as he is about to turn around and pace back to the kitchen. His heart sinks as soon as she steps into the house. He can see her cheeks are red and she stumbles slightly through the doorway. She doesn't notice him at first, so he just observes her. She turns to drop her keys and purse on a table, and she laughs at herself as she misses the table and the keys clatter to the floor. She leans over slowly, yet haphazardly to get them. She grabs at them with a small grunt and stands back up, tumbling slightly to find her footing. She puts the keys down, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, muttering to herself; Jess recognizes the actions from childhood. Her feeble attempt to mask her liquor induced state before greeting people that think she's sober. Frustration builds in him, and he starts walking towards her. She jumps at the sound of his steps, dropping Target and Wal-Mart bags on the floor. There is another bag, brown paper and clearly bottle shaped, that she holds tight and secure under her left arm.

"You're drunk." Jess states matter-of-factly, standing before her. She forces her expression from disoriented to smile widely at him.

"Don't be silly. How was your night with Doula?"

Jess scoffs, "You are not changing the subject. You're fucking drunk. I could smell gin on you when you left the house," he leans in towards her, she tries to back away but hits the wall, "and now you smell like a brewery. What the hell Liz?"

She shakes her head, smile weak but still holding on, "I just met up with a couple of friends for a beer. I'm fine!" In direct betrayal of her words, her eyes get shifty and Jess notices they are glazed over.

"A beer? There's no way. I can't believe you drove yourself home like this!"

"Jess, my handsome son, you are overreacting! It was just one beer, maybe two. Is Rory still here? I want to invite her to have Christmas with us." He notices she is trying hard to move her lips in time with her speaking, no doubt trying to overcome the wavering of her motor skills from inebriation.

"I am not overreacting; you can hardly see straight Liz! You have a ten-year-old daughter, what the fuck are you thinking?"

Suddenly Liz's face turns aggravated, "I'm fine! You know that I drink now, why are you acting like its news?"

"No, you don't drink like this now. At least you're not supposed to. Because you have a real family now, something I never got to have! Do not do this to Doula! She deserves better than what you did to me."

"And what the hell did I do to you Jess? I never hurt you! I may have missed some school meetings or forgot to give you lunch money, but I never caused you any real harm."

Each word stabs Jess in the stomach, and he has to stagger backwards from the blow.

"You don't think your actions caused me any harm? Were you that drunk that you forgot numerous boyfriends beating me up? Or me cleaning up glass that you broke as a five-year-old? Cutting my hands and fingers because you didn't know where the fucking broom was? Or the time I was so thirsty, but you were too drunk to help me, and gave me a rum and coke that was sitting on the table? I threw up in my sleep because of you, I could have died."

It doesn't come out as seething and bitter as he thought it would. He's too hurt to spark a fire; her negligence and obliviousness have gutted him, and it inspires a deep fear in him for his sister's future.

"It's not my fault they hurt you, I always got rid of them as soon as they did! And I don't remember any of that other stuff happening. What does any of it matter now anyway? You're doing so well! You're a writer, you have a business, you have a beautiful, sweet woman. All I have is a daughter that's getting too old and too cool for me, a husband that doesn't have any time for me, a brother that will always think I'm insane, and a son that is forever angry with me. So, excuse me if I drink a little gin or beer on my own now and then!"

Jess recoils at her statements, sinking deeper into the dark place she's shoving him towards.

"Just because you don't remember doesn't mean they didn't happen. And what you said about my life now is completely ignorant of what I have had to go through to get to this place. Please do not pull me back into the depths of your bullshit again, please stop before this gets worse. Otherwise, you'll be having this conversation again, but with Doula in twenty years," Jess's voice is stern, but pleading.

"Or maybe I'll be dead. That would make you happy, wouldn't it?" Liz says matter-of-factly, crossing her arms over her chest, and facial expression begging him to try and argue. Her toxic emotional manipulation is a twist of the knife she's been hacking at him with. And it's the final proof he needs that this is more of an issue than he or Luke realized.

"You're drunk. It was…foolish of me to try and have this conversation with you right now," Jess backs down, stepping away from her and running a hand through his hair, "but no one wants you to die, Liz. That's the whole point of this conversation."

She closes her eyes for a moment and sighs, "I'm going to bed. Thanks for watching Doula." He watches as she pushes herself off the wall and moves in a leaning scuttle towards the stairs. She steadies herself on the railing and thuds up to her room.

Jess feels like he's standing at the edge of where the earth has cracked, looking down into impending doom but frozen with fear. He isn't sure what to do and that scares him more. It's clear that she isn't as bad as she used to be, yet. And Doula hasn't mentioned anything to suggest Liz has been obliterated around her. It's like he needs to diffuse a bomb before it goes off, and does that mean he has to slow his movements and actions to pay closer attention? Or does he go straight to Luke and start planning an attack? Her drinking has always been tied to depression, the times she was sober when he was a kid, she was a shell of a person. And it's clear she's dealing with similar emotions now. But how do you convince someone that's not quite crossed the line yet that it's within stumbling distance?

He desperately wants to go lay in bed with Rory, hold her close and feel her caring hands on his body. But he can't stop thinking about Doula, and how she is going to wake up to a hungover mother and not even realize it. He doesn't want her to grow up one day and realize what her mother was doing. He doesn't want her to feel like no one was there, looking out for her. He is certain that Liz is hoarding liquor in her bedroom closet, and he wonders if TJ knows what she's doing. He is pretty dull, but even he must be able to smell the liquor on his wife or see her sneak sips in their bedroom. Maybe he's in denial, or maybe he doesn't know what to do either. Maybe he really is too busy to be around to see it. There are so many layers to this that he needs to figure out. He decides that it would be best to stay at this house tonight. He can hang around in the morning and try to get more of a feel for things. He goes back to the living room and rests on the couch.

He gets his phone and shoots Rory a quick text, staying here tonight. I'll come over with lunch tomorrow. Knock em dead, Gilmore. He silences his phone and grabs the TV remote and flips through the channels. He finds 'Almost Famous' playing on AMC, and the memories of him and Rory watching it bring a soft smile to his face. He picks up his phone to send her another text and is surprised to see that she answered. I hope you sleep well. I'm having trouble, so much trouble I'm watching Almost Famous on TV. AMC if you want to watch it together. His smile grows wider, and he texts her back, Way ahead of you. Now, I know you have your reservations about this movie, but you have to admit that 'Fever Dog' is pretty catchy. She replies back instantly, If by catchy you mean the lyrics are lazy and the sound is unimaginative, then yes. I agree. He smirks and chuckles at her response. It's not as good as being in the same room as her, but it brings him enough peace that he is able to drift off to sleep by one am. On the other side of town, Rory falls asleep in her own mother's living room around the same time. Both with their phones in their hands, and restful features on their faces.


hopefully will have another update for you sooner than later!

let me know your thoughts! I always wanted to see Jess as an older brother and I enjoy writing it. and I also wanted to explore his relationship with Liz (perhaps therapeutically as I have a similarly strained relationship with my mother hmmm). hope you like this portion of the plot