i was so excited to write this chapter that I got it done so fast, yay. I hope you find it exciting too!
thank you for reading, and omg thank you so much manu-00 for your incredible, super kind words! you got me tearing up :') i'm so happy you are enjoying my story! I sometimes get in my head that I should edit more because these chapters are so long (seriously, my word doc is up to 280 pages) but I just really enjoy writing it, I can't stop. Your words mean so much to me truly, thank you!
this chapter is especially long as it was going to be 2 separate, but I like them better together. Short Rated M Scene ahead.
enjoy xoxo
disclaimer: I own nothing
edit 02/01/2024: in case any readers come back here and see this...just wanted to say thank you SO much for the incredible feedback on this chapter and my story! you guys got me feeling all emotional :'). seriously I can't thank you enough for your reviews and for reading. I love writing this and it's a wonderful feeling knowing that people enjoy reading it! FYI I am working on the next chapter, however my spring semester started and my job gets really busy this time of year (taxes) so I don't know how soon that will be out i'm sorry! that's why I wanted to leave an extra note here. so...
THANK YOU! I appreciate you all so much! xoxo
"Good morning my beautiful daughter!" Lorelai's chipper voice causes Rory's eyes to blink open. She looks around and sees she's on the couch in her mom's living room, sitting up right with a blanket over her. She yawns and turns to Lorelai who is waiting, perched on the edge of the couch with a steaming cup of coffee outstretched. Rory takes it with a smile.
"Thanks for making sure I don't get pillow face."
"Oh of course, there's really nothing worse!"
"Nothing at all? I think some of the people I spoke to in Morocco, Turkey and Spain would disagree with you."
Lorelai glares but it only lasts a second before she breaks into a proud smile.
"I love that you're following your dreams. Even if it is making you cleverer than me."
Rory lights up under the sincerity of her mom's words, and giggles at her second statement.
"Cleverer than you? Never! I think maybe only Mae West could compete with you."
"Well, good thing she's dead then, no competition for me!"
"What a terrible thing to say!"
"Just kidding, you know she's one of my role models. I've always wanted a tongue as sharp as hers, and not to mention a chest as bodacious as hers. I don't know why we got stuck with these," she grabs at her chest, "when the original Lorelai Gilmore had some knockers on her!"
Rory cringes, "Mom! How did we go from talking about my dreams to the size of our breasts? And I'll have you know, I've received no complaints about mine!"
"Of course not, that boyfriend of yours looks at you like you were made just for him. Which is crazy because, hello, I'm the one that made you - for me. To have a mini me. Forever."
Rory blushes at her insinuation, "You didn't even make me on purpose."
"No, but I'm a glass half full kinda gal. Unexpected baby at sixteen? Try unexpected best friend that has to deal with me for the rest of her life because I'm her wonderful, delightful, gorgeous and a little manipulative, mother! I got very lucky."
They share an identical grin of gratitude.
"I'm the lucky one. You've been encouraging me to follow my dreams since I was born. And you set a great example for me. I was so proud of you for opening your own inn, and I'm so proud of you now for expanding it! You're doing amazing things."
"We are doing amazing things," Lorelai smiles wide, grabbing Rory's hand, "is your job everything you dreamed it would be?"
Rory sighs, "Not exactly, but I still love it. I've been gone a lot more than I expected to be as a newbie."
"They're probably testing you a little bit. To see how dedicated you are. Really unnecessary, they could have just called me, and I would have told them about how you loved watching CNN like a little weirdo as a child. I would beg you to let me watch Fresh Prince and you would be all 'but mom! It's the news! There will be reruns of the Fresh Prince, you can't redo the news!' and then I would have to cover my ears the next day while the other employees at the inn talked about all the ways Will and Carlton pissed off Uncle Phil in the newest episode. Anyway, if anyone is dedicated to depressing, scary, and sometimes downright boring news stories, it's you my dear."
Rory rolls her eyes but laughs at the anecdote.
"Seriously, I don't think it will be that way forever. I can't imagine Christiane Amanpour doesn't see her family for almost eight months straight a year. It's because you're new, you're young, and as messed up as it might be, you don't have a family."
Rory pouts, "But I do have a family. I have you, Luke, Grandma, and…"
Lorelai smirks, "Go ahead, say his name. Don't think I didn't notice you let that boyfriend comment slip. You two are very comfortable together, aren't you?"
Rory bows her head to hide the smitten smile that crosses her face. She takes a sip of her coffee to have a second to respond.
"He's been extra great lately, mom. And he's been so carefree this week, it's such a nice change to how he was when I left in February. It seems like things are a lot less stressful for him now, and I love that he isn't carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders."
Lorelai sips her own coffee and nods knowingly, "Things are better, hun. With Liz and everything. Luke has been the same way and I feel ya. I mean I don't think I could ever describe Luke as 'carefree' necessarily, but he's much lighter and it makes me so happy to see that. In Jess too."
Rory's smile turns weak, and she chews at her lip. Lorelai lifts an eyebrow and leans forward to place her coffee cup on the table. She turns back to Rory and places a hand on her arm, bringing her attention to her face.
"Honey? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong and that's kind of what freaks me out. It feels like things are going in the right direction all of the sudden. I didn't expect it to be that easy. Jess was already amazing, but now he's starting to act like, like…"
"He loves you? Like you're in a real mature relationship? Like he's ready to give you the world?"
She looks up at her mom and nods softly.
"Rory, nothing about this has been easy. Why do you think that? All of the crap you went through last year, then taking a job that, even though you love, has you leaving home for long periods of time. The stuff with Jess's mom. None of it has been easy, babe."
"I guess. But, didn't it take years for Liz to stop drinking before? He said she just suddenly stopped a couple of months ago. How does that happen and how can that be sustained? I'm just nervous. I don't want Jess's happiness to be taken from him again. From us."
Lorelai eyes her daughter and sighs.
"Jess hasn't really talked about the Liz stuff with you, has he?"
She shakes her head, "no and I don't want to push him to discuss it."
"It's hard for him sweets. And I won't divulge everything out of respect to their privacy, but he and Luke both put themselves through the ringer for months. It hasn't been a straight line of progress. There were tons of ups and downs. And our men did what they needed to do to make sure Doula didn't feel any of the roller coaster ride. I did what they let me, which wasn't much because trying to help a protective Danes man is like trying to move a brick wall, but everything else was all them. It cost them time, money, sanity, peace."
Rory slumps back on the couch, "God, now I feel terrible that I haven't been here."
"No," Lorelai shakes her head, "It's good that you weren't here. You would have felt just as helpless as you did across the world because Jess would not have involved you to the degree that you'd like. It would have just caused problems. Babe, everything worked out the way it was supposed to. And it continues to do that."
She looks at her mom and eventually nods in acceptance.
"As for Liz not drinking all the sudden, I don't know if I actually had anything to do with it, but she came to me after she got into that fight with Jess. She showed up at the house crying, wanting to talk to another mom. So, we had coffee and talked, for hours. Liz wanted to get better the whole time, she was just at war with herself. To her, it seemed impossible that she could ever redeem herself with Jess and now with Doula. Her mind would just go in circles of wanting to get better, trying to get better, and then resigning to what she thought was the fact that she can't fix those things so she might as well do something to forget about it, to numb herself."
"What did you say to her?"
Lorelai shrugs, "I didn't really give her advice. But I did tell her just about every single mistake I felt like I made as a mom. And I think my honesty, and her knowing how close you and me are now, helped push her towards change. I think, or I hope, I helped her see that even though we can't change the past, we have control of the future, and the most important thing is to try and make things better."
Rory reaches out and takes her hand with a sympathetic smile. Lorelai mirrors it.
"I told her about the small things like how long it took me to properly change a diaper. And the heavy stuff too, like pushing you away when you wanted to take a year off school. Sleeping with your dad…numerous times. Marrying him without talking to you or letting you be part of it. Sleeping with, and almost marrying, your teacher. Making school harder for you. Treating you like a sister and starting petty fights with you rather than treating you like my daughter. And Liz told me all the mistakes she remembers making too, and boy do I have even more respect for that man of yours now," she squeezes Rory's hand to emphasize that statement, "I mean, I could barely muster driving your grandmother around when she had eye surgery and the worst she ever did to me was ruin a relationship that I was able to put back together. Emily never put me in danger. He is doing much more for a woman that put him through much worse."
Rory gulps, "I know. I've heard some stories. I hate that he grew up that way. But, you're right. She can make it better. Jess may not be one to forget, but he does forgive. I know that from personal experience."
Lorelai breathes in deeply through her nose and then sighs as she pulls Rory into her arms.
"The point is nothing has been easy. It's a huge feat that Jess has the capacity now to show you the kind of love you deserve. He wants to give you the world because you are his world. Don't spend your time waiting for the other shoe to drop, or you'll conjure one up yourself. And it won't be a small little kitten heel, it will probably be a big steel toed boot knowing the strength of your overthinking!"
Rory laughs but scrutinizes Lorelai's words and face.
"Do you know something I don't know? How do you know he wants to give me the world, and what does that mean?"
Lorelai gapes and mocks offense, "I know nothing! I'm as clueless as Cher Horowitz!"
Rory squints at her, "A central point of that movie was that Cher isn't as dumb as people treated her. You do know something!"
Lorelai groans, "Don't implicate me, please! I don't want to face the wrath of Jess! He is equally scathing as he is caring. And he gave you and I space to have our girls night last night. I will not bite the hand that feeds, literally he serves me at the diner all the time now!"
Rory bursts out into laughter and hugs her mom closer.
Lorelai whispers in her ear, "Accept the good and accept the love. Don't question it. You deserve it. Both of you."
"It's been great traveling, but I am just so excited to sleep in my bed tonight! Not a hotel bed or an Airbnb. Not my twin size bed in Stars Hollow. My very own queen size bed in my very own apartment!" Rory gushes from the passenger seat as Jess drives them towards New York.
He smirks, "I seem to remember you spent most nights this week in my bed at Luke's."
"Well, no offense but, that bed isn't that great either. Aside from the person that sleeps in it."
"Boy do I know that. My back was stiff for the first month sleeping on that mattress," he shakes his head at the memory, "I'm not sure if my body is used to the bed now or just used to the pain."
"Poor baby. You didn't get to go back to your place in Brooklyn much, huh? Must have made you a little crazy."
He ponders her words before shrugging.
"Once people in Stars Hollow realized that I'm not such a blatant ass as I used to be, they started to annoy me less."
"You were never a blatant ass! You just…didn't trust people. You're not meant to be a small town guy, it's okay."
"While I'm certainly not researching real estate in Mayberry, being in a small town was the least of my worries for the last eight months."
Rory eyes him, his face focused on the road ahead and features calm. She takes the opportunity to try and learn more.
"Do you want to talk about it? I get the feeling things were harder than you let me believe."
He briefly looks over at her before returning his focus to the road.
"I could say the same to you. I'm sure you experienced some scary stuff. I read your articles. You were in the middle of unrest and protests, and you flew out to Spain just days after a terrorist attack. Yet, you haven't mentioned being anything other than calm and collected, besides that day you were hot and annoyed."
Her argument catches in her throat as she realizes he's right. There were times she felt scared, there were times she was sure she would get hurt or in trouble. But she never admitted those feelings out loud and refused to share them as to not put that on his plate or her mom's. She falls back in her seat with a thoughtful sigh.
"I guess we both wanted to avoid worrying each other."
She watches as Jess smiles softly, but there's no mirth in it.
"Didn't stop me."
She places a hand over his on the gear shift and mirrors his look.
"Me either. I asked mom about you sometimes when I felt like you were holding back from me."
He chuckles humorlessly, "Funny. I did the same thing."
An honest laugh escapes Rory, "Seriously? We both ran to Lorelai Gilmore, and she didn't rat either of us out?! What a woman my mother is."
"That she is," Jess nods in agreement, a real smile on his face now, "how about we share those things with each other in the future? If we're going to worry anyway, we might as well do it together. What do you think?"
She grins, eyes casting over the side of his face is adoration.
"I think that's a great idea."
He brings the hand resting on his up to his mouth for a kiss. She can't help the words that tumble out of her mouth at his sweet proposal and gesture.
"I love it when you talk about the future. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
The smile that stretches across his face warms her even more. He slows down and parks the car, then turns to her.
"I'm really glad to hear that."
"You are?" she asks with hope, then noticing their surroundings she frowns slightly, "Where are we?"
"Sorry, it's one of my errands. Hope you don't mind. It's on the way to your place so rather than going back and forth…"
"I don't mind, but what are we doing? This doesn't look like a store or anything. It's just an old building? Oh, are we meeting one of your clients? How fun! I can't wait to watch you in action!"
He chuckles as he gets out of the car and walks around to her side. He opens the door for her and catches her with a quick kiss as she steps out.
"You're adorable. Come on," he takes her hand and leads her towards the building.
Just as they reach the entrance, a tall, slim older man steps out and waves.
"Hey Jess, Rory. Glad you could make it," the man smiles at them both, a hint of a French accent in his speech.
Rory smiles but looks at Jess inquisitively.
"Right, sorry. Rory this is Jay DeValle. Not sure if you remember his name, but you helped me edit one of his manuscripts."
Rory's smile widens at his name.
"Yes! Of course! Petit Dieu, I loved your novel. About a French philosopher that lived a life completely opposite from what he preached. I think because it was the only way he truly felt he could exercise his freedom, by going against the moral code he deemed to be true. Right?"
The man grins and takes Rory's hand in his to shake it hard.
"Yes, mademoiselle. It is truly a pleasure to meet you. You are just as impressive as Jess harped about," he states with a playful wink in Jess's direction. Jess doesn't even bat an eye. He is unashamed and proud of her.
"I told you. She deserves all the credit for finally getting your book published this summer. And she did it while reporting for the New York Times from Morocco," Jess turns his proud eyes to her, sweeping over her with a brilliant smile. She blushes slightly under his praise.
"Remarkable. It is good that people like you put your intelligence to better use than people like us," he elbows Jess who smirks in return, "who use it to put more bullshit in the world."
"Hey, fiction is very valuable to humanity! It's therapeutic and it allows people to experience many things through a story that they would never had experienced in their own life. All I do is inform people about the horrible things that are happening in the world without actually being able to help. The work you guys do is invaluable."
"Stop it," Jess scoffs, "you're out there in harm's way so people on their couches can get a firsthand account of what's going on in the world. Your work brings awareness, perspective and hope. You know I've read all of your articles. You always point to something promising amidst the chaos."
Rory now blushes furiously at his words. Jay looks between the two and smiles knowingly.
"Ton amour est beau. Parfaitement jumelé."
She turns to Jay with a small grin, "Pardonne-moi, mon français est…comment dit-on 'rusty'?"
The man laughs good-naturedly and pats her on the back.
"Rusty is rouillé, ma chère," he winks at her, "And your french is much better than your boyfriend's who asked me if I want to sleep with him when we first met."
Rory giggles and smiles at Jess, "You quoted 'Lady Marmalade' too?! Mom did that at Thanksgiving one year to some of my grandparent's french friends."
"I'm sure that went over well," he huffs out a laugh and then turns to Jay, "and she's better than me at most things."
"You are both treasures to me. Which is why I'm doing this for you. I wouldn't give this offer to just anyone."
Rory looks at both men quizzically. Jay takes in her look and grins.
"You haven't told her, Mr. Mariano?"
Jess simply smiles and shrugs in reply.
"Comme c'est excitant, c'est parti!" Jay opens the door and waves them inside.
"What did he say?" Jess stage whispers to Rory as they follow him up a staircase. She laughs,
"He said 'don't keep secrets from your girlfriend, she hates surprises!'"
Jess looks at her sharply with a grin, "My girlfriend, huh?" Her cheeks redden again. Before she can respond, Jay stops abruptly at a door. Rory looks around and realizes they are in what looks like an upscale apartment building.
"There is no elevator, but that wasn't so bad right? Only two flights." Jay comments, as he pulls a key from his pocket and puts it in the door in front of them.
"Nope, I don't exercise and I'm not even that winded," Rory replies, but her facial features are set in confusion as Jay opens the door and she takes in the area.
"Come in, come in. It's not the biggest place but I personally think it has some beautiful aspects. Come see the living room, you will love it."
Rory looks over at Jess, who ignores her questioning look but takes her hand and pulls her along through the empty apartment. She gasps as they get to the living room. There are book shelves built into the walls, the floors are hardwood, the walls are exposed brick and there is even a fireplace. The room is much more spacious than her own living room.
"Wow! This is a beautiful space. I would kill to have these shelves in my apartment!"
Jay shares a knowing smile with Jess.
"If you like that, you will love the bedrooms. I would say kitchen too, but I've heard you're not such a cook."
"I am definitely not," Rory confirms in a mumble with a puzzled look once again thrown towards Jess. His smirk stays put but he still won't meet her eyes as they follow Jay to the bedrooms.
"This one has a walk in closet, which all women love of course. But my favorite part about this room is the bathroom because I added a gorgeous bath tub. The shower itself is nice too, but the tub is what dreams are made of," Jay gushes as he briskly leads them to the bathroom. Rory's jaw drops.
"Does that thing have jets?!"
"Oui, oui mademoiselle. I thought up a lot of my book in this tub. It is truly an inspiring space," he leans forward to whisper conspiratorially to them, "and, trust me, it can fit two comfortably with room for activities."
"Oh my," Rory mumbles in reply, a confused smile on her face. Jess chuckles and turns to Jay.
"Okay, okay. Thank you, man. I need to talk to Rory for a few minutes. We'll meet you back in the living room?"
Jay leaves the room with a wink, "Take your time, amoureux."
Jess faces Rory, taking in her expectant, but cheerful, look. He smirks and lets his eyes wander over the intricacies of her lovely face for a moment. Though she enjoys his perusing, she can't take the silence a second longer.
"Jess…what's going on?"
He takes a deep breath in and places a gentle hand on her arm.
"That was my stuff in Luke's apartment. The books, the boxes. All mine."
Her eyebrows scrunch together, "I had a feeling, but why?"
"My lease in Brooklyn was due to end in August. And they require two months' notice at least if I'm not going to renew. At the time, I was in the midst of some heavy shit with Liz, and I was hardly ever making it to New York. It made sense to move out and live in Stars Hollow. Temporarily."
"Oh Jess," she sighs and leans in to hug him. He returns her embrace and then pushes back to look her in the eyes.
"What do you think of this place?"
"It's beautiful," she remarks as her eyes scan around the room, then meet his again, "are you moving here? It's crazy nice! I can totally see you living here. Though the bathroom is a little opulent, the rest is all you."
Jess nods, and with a twitchy, nervous smile he asks, "What about you?"
She blinks, "What?"
"Can you see you living here too?"
Her jaw drops slightly, and she stares at him, words eluding her. Jess watches her steadily, waiting with bated breath for a response.
Finally, she stutters out, "Wha-what do you mean?"
"Can you see yourself living here with me, Rory? Are you ready to do that with me? Because I'm ready. I'm so fucking ready."
She stays quiet, jaw open and eyes wide in disbelief. He continues in her silence, never breaking eye contact with her.
"I've held on to this hope in the back of my mind for the last few months, and it grew stronger with every day that things got better with my family. Even when things were crazy and it didn't seem like it would ever get better, I would think about you and me, and how it will be possible for us to really start our lives together if I just push through. And now we can do it. If you want. I'm ready to live together. To be in a full on relationship with you. Obviously, we would wait until your lease is up in December and move in then. And I don't know, until then I can live in Stars Hollow, stay with you sometimes or -"
"Jess," Rory finally interrupts him, an animated smile plastered on her face, "you're rambling. That's my thing!"
He looks at her bashfully, the tension in his body softening at the look on her face, "I don't usually admit this sort of thing but, I'm nervous."
She puts her hands on both sides of his face and kisses him deeply.
"Don't be. Of course I want to live with you! Of course I'm ready. This is amazing! But Jess, there's no way we can afford a place like this. A two bedroom apartment that actually has space in it and a fireplace and really nice bathrooms? This must be at least $6k a month in New York!" She speculates as she steps from his arms and wanders around the bathroom and bedroom. He stands in the doorway watching her with a pleased grin.
"It's not. Not for us at least. Jay is moving back to France. He's actually a successful businessman, moved here a long time ago. He's been wanting to move home, but the last thing he wanted to do in the states was publish a book. And we helped him do that. He owns this condo and wants to lease it to us for a very reasonable price. I promise I wouldn't put you in a difficult situation. This is a great opportunity."
Rory just gapes at him for a few moments.
"You're serious?"
"As a heart attack."
She stands there looking dumbstruck for a few more moments, before she finally registers everything and shrieks. She bounces to Jess and jumps into his arms. He captures her with a laugh and brings his mouth to hers for a loving kiss.
"Boy am I glad I offered to help you edit," she states then leans in to whisper in his ear, "this is almost as good as the orgasms you paid me with."
He lets out a hearty laugh, "Almost is good. But this isn't payback for anything. Even if you hadn't helped me edit, I would have found a way to make this happen. Maybe not here in this apartment, but I would have figured it out."
He sets her back down on her feet and looks down at her earnestly.
"This is what we deserve, to be together without anything in our way. Seeing each other every day that you're not traveling. Cooking you dinners or taking you on dates, or hell, even ordering Indian food for you. Sharing a bedroom and a home office. Sharing a bed. Listening to music while we clean the apartment together. Watching old movies with our fireplace crackling in the background on a snowy winter day. Silently reading books next to each other for hours until your stomach growls," he swallows, his emotions thick in his throat, "God, Rory. I want all of that with you."
She melts under his look and all the beautiful words that she has been wanting to hear for so long. Rory brings her hand to her heart, trying to calm the fluttering in her chest so she can speak.
"Jess…there are three words that I really want to say to you right now. I don't want to say them for the first time out loud in a bathroom though," she smiles up at him, but he's too laser focused on her words; his concentration doesn't crack, "But please know, that's what I'm feeling about all of this. About you."
He wastes no time in holding her close, kissing her so hard they separate panting.
"That's…this is," he starts, but can't complete his thought. There are too many feelings coursing through him.
He inhales deeply then smiles, "Let's go talk to Jay before I take all your clothes off."
He takes her hand and pulls her gently to the living room.
"What do we think, amoureux?" Jay greets them with a playful grin.
"This place is amazing! I can't believe you want to rent it to us. I'm sure you're losing money," Rory replies, speaking quickly with an excited smile. He shrugs and laughs kindly in response.
"You both helped me accomplish the one American dream I had left since coming here from France. This is nothing. And I have never seen this man smile more than when he is talking about you," he nods towards Jess, "It is a privilege to be able to help bring you closer together."
Rory grins wider and walks up to him, "I'm sorry but I need to hug you."
She throws her arms around him, and he pats her on the back with a chuckle.
"Forgive me for not joining in. I'm not much of a hugger," Jess states, arms crossed over his chest with a smile as he watches his girlfriend's giddy reactions.
"I could give you a kiss on the cheek, which is the typical French greeting," he offers Jess with a teasing smile. Rory steps away with a laugh and returns to Jess.
"I'm good. Thanks for the irresistible offer," he deadpans.
"Very well. I will draw up paperwork, just to make it all official and such, and email it over to you two. When will you move in?"
"End of November."
"Really? You are not desperate to leave your hometown?" Jay asks.
"Jess, you can move in sooner," Rory nudges his shoulder, "I'll help you move."
He shakes his head and turns to reply quietly to her, "No. I want this to be our place. I don't want to live here without you."
She smiles wide at that, "Okay fine. You can wait on one condition."
He grins, "Name it."
"You stay at my place as much as you want until then."
"That sounds like more of a sacrifice for you than me."
"Oh no, no sacrifice at all. I know what I'm getting myself into. Homemade meals, housekeeping help, a movie companion," she lists triumphantly, smiling and batting her big eyes at him.
He smirks, "I'm a decent baker too. I can follow a recipe."
"Can you make pie?"
"Never tried. But for you, I'll figure it out."
"Now you're making me want to propose to you," she faux swoons into his arms.
"There's a jewelry store right around the corner," Jay jokes with a wink. Rory gasps in excitement.
"What do you think, Jay? Should I go platinum or gold? Oh, maybe rose gold! I bet that would really compliment your olive skin."
"Alright little Lorelai, calm down. Let's go explore our future neighborhood. I saw a coffee shop and a book store on our way here."
"Really? Did you see them within the two minutes we drove through the neighborhood?", she playfully taunts him, "Or did you look them up before we came here?"
He grabs her hand and pulls her towards the door.
"Thanks for everything, Jay! Talk to you soon."
"Bien sûr! Have fun."
"Bye Jay nice to meet you!" Rory shouts as Jess continues to pull her by her hand, "and you, you definitely looked it up! That's so cute."
He rolls his eyes but smiles.
"It's no big deal. Just opened a browser on my phone and googled it."
She smiles and leans into his side, he wraps an arm around her shoulders and kisses her on the head as they exit onto the street.
"You looked it up. All of this," she says more seriously now, admiration in her voice.
"Why do you sound surprised that I did something thoughtful for us?"
"Oh Jess, I'm not surprised by your thoughtfulness! I know your heart," she places her free hand on his chest as she says this, "It's more that I can't believe it's real."
He turns his head to meet her eyes briefly before kissing the side of her face. He pulls her in closer to his body.
"It's real baby," he whispers in her ear, "we're doing this."
Later that night, they burst through the front door of Rory's apartment in an inseparable bundle of arms and legs. Jess kicks the door closed behind them and haphazardly walks them to the couch. He falls onto it and Rory follows, straddling his lap and trailing kisses from his mouth and down his neck. Jess tugs at the bottom of the short sleeve top she's wearing with one hand and unbuttons the top of her jeans with the other. Rory pulls her head back and eyes him with a look that Jess can't quite interpret.
He raises an eyebrow, "Yes?"
Rory sucks in a breath and on her exhale babbles out, "Tell me something. So I can feel closer to you."
He frowns.
"Closer than this? Your tongue in my mouth and my hands in your jeans?"
She rolls her eyes but smiles, "Not like that. Like a secret or something."
He shrugs, "Okay. I told Luke and your mom about my plan for us to move in together. Not for their approval. More so that they would tell me if I was being an idiot and just couldn't see it."
Her face softens at this, "Not an idiot at all."
"Thanks. That was the general consensus."
She grins, "Good. Tell me more."
"Rory," he groans, eyes rolling up slightly, "you asked for a secret. I gave you one."
"Please," she begs and hesitates slightly before asking, "Like what about the fight you got into with Liz that caused you to lock yourself in Luke's for days? Something bad must have happened."
His face turns sour, and he stares at her, a painful look in his eyes.
"Lorelai?"
Rory nods slowly, trying to hide her nervousness at asking him such a personal question. It shouldn't scare her, he's so much different, but then again he hasn't opened up to her about their time apart willingly yet.
"Jeez," Jess mutters and runs a hand through his hair, "You want to talk about this right now? Why?"
"Because."
"Because…?"
"Because..I just…I loved today. I mean, a beautiful surprise apartment that we're going to live in together, then coffee and book shopping, and then you take me out to dinner. And all this past week you've been acting very…significant other-y."
"And these are bad things?" he asks, eyebrows raised in total confusion.
"No! These are all great things. You're doing everything right, everything that I think we both want. But I feel like we just jumped over the details of our lives and went from Christmas morning to today, even though so many things have happened since then."
"Are you thinking I'm not ready for this or something? Or are you trying to say you're not?" he asks slowly, preemptive pain already etching on his face.
"No Jess, not at all. I'm not saying that. I'm saying…I care about you. I want the wonderful relationship stuff you're giving me, but I want the other stuff too. The hard, scary stuff that you keep locked away up there to deal with yourself," she taps gently on his head and then runs her fingers through his hair and down his face. It's slightly longer than it was in winter, and his end of day stubble is starting to come in. She scratches it lightly, "I want all parts of you."
He sighs.
"I'm not bottling everything up. And you know me better than anyone, Rory. Isn't that enough?"
She bites her lip and gives him a pleading look.
He groans, "Do you really need to use the puppy dog eyes?"
She bats her eyes and hits him with the pout too. He places a hand on his chest, over his heart.
"You're killing me, Gilmore."
She smiles softly and leans in to give him a sweet kiss.
"Please let me in."
"I've let you in more than anyone."
"I know," she acknowledges quietly, "if you really don't want to talk about it, it's okay. I just want to understand you as much as you understand me."
He softens slightly and pulls her face to him for a cherishing kiss. Instead of separating, he then pulls her head to his chest, the side of her face pressed against it. She moves her arms to hold him around his middle. After a few beats of his heart, she hears the murmuring from his words echo through his chest.
"It wasn't just one thing that day. It was a culmination of bullshit. At that point, which was right around the time I decided not to renew my lease, Liz had been difficult at every turn with me and Luke. The only thing that she had committed to was the marriage counseling, so we're talking almost six months of her defending all of her poor choices by saying she was 'doing marriage counseling, what more do you want?'. Luke was pressing the drinking issue more and more as time went on, and instead of helping, it made her behavior worse. The week before we had that fight, she showed up at Doula's school to walk her home, drunk. She called me fortunately and I picked them up, and Doula stayed with me at Luke's for a couple days. That pissed Liz off more. She then got into an argument with TJ at a counseling appointment and the both of them decided to fucking disappear without making a plan for Doula or letting anyone else know. I went over to the house to help Doula with homework and found her completely alone with no word from them. Liz shows back up a few days later at Luke's, looking for her daughter and I just lost my shit."
The story makes Rory's heart ache, and she can only imagine how much worse Jess must have felt. She knows he doesn't like pity, so she doesn't say any words, but she runs her fingers in soothing circles on his back and places quiet kisses on his chest.
"I locked myself in the apartment at first because I was furious, and I didn't want to talk to anyone. Then, I got some inspiration and started writing. I couldn't stop. I hardly slept that week. And before you get too excited, it isn't really anything yet. Seems like it might become a collection of short stories."
Rory sits up to look him in the face at that, and she gives him a proud smile.
"That's amazing, Jess. Did writing help you cope too?"
He nods, "It did. And therapy. I started doing video sessions with my therapist in March and I've kept to a twice a month schedule. I have one with her next week. And I know it sounds stupid or childish, but the bike helped too. It was something I got to do for myself that I enjoy. Something fun and a little reckless to let off steam."
"That's not stupid at all," Rory whispers and gives him an encouraging squeeze, "you deserve that."
"After that fight with Liz…I don't know what happened, she got better. She suddenly just stopped drinking and put in the effort to get healthy for herself and her family. She even apologized to me and Luke. So as much as it was a horrible moment, it was a turning point."
Rory swallows before admitting, "She talked to my mom around that time. Did you know that?"
He eyes her curiously and shakes his head.
"Yeah. Mom said that she showed up at the house because she wanted to talk to another mom. Liz was worried that…wait, do you want to hear this?"
He half shrugs, "I don't see how I could hear anything that would hurt me more at this point."
Rory deflates slightly, "I'm sorry it was all so much harder than I realized. My mom said that Liz wanted to change, but she felt beyond redemption and so got caught in the cycle of shame and drinking. Mom told her all the mistakes she made with me, to get her to see that all mom's screw up sometimes and the past can't be changed but it's worth the effort to make the future better. I told her that was good advice because Jess may not forget, but he does forgive. Right? I mean, you did that with me."
His eyes are fixed in an intense gaze over her face, and slowly he breaks into a gentle smile.
"See. You do understand me as much as I understand you."
Her chest heaves slightly at that statement, and then she leans in to kiss him passionately. When she pulls away she stands up to quickly discard her jeans and underwear. She kneels in front of the couch and undoes Jess's jeans for him. She puts her hands under the band of his boxer briefs and tugs at them. He lifts his hips slightly and she pulls them with his jeans down to his mid-thigh. Jess sucks in a breath as Rory leans her head towards his lap. He groans as she presses her lips softly to the underside of his dick and looks up at him with her wondrous blue eyes.
"Thank you for telling me that," she mutters against his sensitive skin. The feathery touches of her mouth and breath make him hiss through his teeth.
He closes his eyes and leans his head back on the couch.
"It wasn't as hard as it used to be," he admits quietly. She places another teasing kiss on his skin.
"No?"
He opens his eyes and lowers his head to look down at her. He moves his right hand to the top of her head, tangling it gently in her silky hair.
"Not as hard as it is to restrain myself right now."
Her mouth perks up. She bats her lashes and runs her lips softly along his length.
"Restrain yourself from what?"
He shakes his head at her feigned innocence and tugs gently at her hair. He smirks as she gasps slightly. He nudges himself between where her lips have parted.
"From making these beautiful eyes sparkle with tears because you can't catch your breath. Can I do that?"
Her big, dark pupils now match his, and she nods, wanting but wordless, against the tip of his erection. He grunts as he pushes himself further into her mouth, taking his time to feel all the small movements of her tongue and the quick pulls of oxygen she takes in preparation. A rumbling moan moves through him as he inches in further. He loosens his grip on her hair to run his fingers through it lovingly. His free hand moves to her face, and he cups her cheek. She leans into his sweet touch with her eyes closed, relaxing her mouth around him.
"Beautiful," he mumbles and her eyes open to meet his. Her lips try to curve into a soft smile as she feels his look of worship and desire flood over her. He leans forward to kiss the top of her head, simultaneously pushing his length in more. She hums in approval around him, causing him to lean back and watch as he timidly thrusts into her mouth. After a few strokes, she starts to match his movements and urge him deeper.
"Fuck," he grunts and throws his head back momentarily, then looks back down to meet her watering eyes. He grins and rubs his thumb on her cheek.
"So sexy. Tap my leg if it's too much, okay?"
At her nod of agreement, he pushes as far as he can into her mouth and rocks in and out. She thrums around him as she watches the expressions of pleasure and desire on his face. When she feels like he's at the edge, she pulls back from him and stands up. He grabs her hand.
"You okay?" he asks, concern in his eyes. She gives him a reassuring nod and smile before she straddles him on the couch.
"Just didn't want you to finish without me," she teases as she lowers herself until he's inside of her. He groans and pulls her face to his.
"You know I would have taken care of you baby," he mutters in her ear, then runs his tongue down it and sucks at a sensitive spot on her neck.
"I know," she moans and tangles a hand in his hair, "but this is what I wanted."
He kisses down her neck, moving his hands down her breasts, to her hips, and then to her ass. He keeps one hand there and moves the other to her front. He places his palm flat against her stomach and caresses her clit with his thumb. She moans and he pulls his face back to admire her flushed skin and mussed hair.
"What did I say the first time we ever had sex?"
She bites her lip in thought but finds it hard to respond as he increases the pressure of his thumb. He starts to guide her hips to ride him with the hand that's on her ass, and she gladly rolls them to meet his thrusts.
"I said I want to make you feel good in every way. And that goes for everything all the time, but especially sex."
His words are hot and stimulating; she feels them all over her body, but all she can do is hum and moan as he hits a delicate spot inside her.
"So, if you want to sit on my lap," he grunts and drives deeper into her, "and ride me until we come together, your wish is my command. Always."
"Fuck Jess," she groans and starts bouncing in time with him, "your words…I just…I can't. Oh my god," she can't finish her sentence as garbled sounds of pleasure emanate from her throat instead.
"I know baby," Jess's hand grips her tighter behind, and his thumb glides faster around her clit. She can feel the rough denim of his jeans against her bottom every time she sinks down on him, and the mix of sensations has her quickly teetering at the precipice. He brings his mouth to her chest, he nibbles and licks at her until she's yelping in pleasure and squeezing all around him. He holds her body tighter with both hands, lifting her up and down to help her ride out her orgasm and reach his own. She collapses, boneless, against him just as he finds his release. He holds her close and kisses her repeatedly through his jerky grunts.
"Jesus," he mutters against her hair.
"Mhm," is the only response she can muster. He kisses her softly on the side of her face and cups the back of her head.
"Rory?" her name is soft on his lips, as he prepares to say something delicate to her.
"Hmm?"
Her dazed response has him switching gears slightly; he realizes that he doesn't want to say those three words to her right after sex. He opens his mouth then closes it. She leans back slightly to catch his eye with a tilt of her head.
"What?"
He swallows then runs his fingers down the side of her face.
"You didn't tell me something about you."
One eyebrows raises, "What do you mean?"
"Tell me about something difficult you went through that I don't know about. Something that scared you on one of your assignments maybe?"
"Oh," she deflates but nods in understanding. She puts a strand of her hair behind her ear, "I guess that's only fair."
She removes herself from his lap to stand up, "Let me just get cleaned up first."
He grabs her hand to stop her, "I'll shower with you after we talk," he adjusts himself back into his pants and then lies down flat on the couch.
"Come here, girlfriend," he pats his chest with a wink. Even under the weight of this serious conversation, she can't stop the giddy smile his words pull from her. She carefully rests her body on top of his. He kisses her briefly on the lips before putting her head to his chest. He runs his fingers soothingly through her hair and patiently waits.
"Nothing that bad happened to me," Rory finally mumbles after minutes of silence. He traces her neck with his fingers and gives her a gentle squeeze.
"That's not what I asked."
She sighs.
"As you probably read in my article, there were ongoing protests and marches in Morocco while I was there and even before I got there. The authorities were mostly understanding and kept the peace, but other times they were violent and arrested people for no obvious reason. I was at a protest that seemed secure, but all hell broke loose once authorities caught on to it, and it was specifically an anti-police brutality protest. I don't know if that made them angry, but one second I'm interviewing a man whose brother suffered disabling injuries at the hands of police, and the next I'm being knocked on the ground as people all around me are getting arrested and getting into altercations. The man I was talking to was on the ground next to me being forcefully arrested and without thinking, I just started yelling at the officer. Another cop grabbed me and told me to shut up or I would be arrested too. I got pulled out of the crowd and finally thought to show the officer my press credentials and he let me go. I watched all these people getting arrested and beaten around me and I couldn't do anything about it."
She can feel Jess's deep breath pressing against her stomach, and he releases it softly against the top of her head.
"You told their story, Ror. You stood with them, and helped their voices be heard through a powerful medium. That's not nothing."
She shakes her head against him.
"But I don't know what happened to that man, Jess. He didn't do anything wrong! What if they hurt him like they hurt his brother? That's the scariest part to me. I connected with him, and with other people, that maybe didn't make it out of those fights unscathed like I did."
"Rory," he mumbles against her head, his arms holding her tighter to him, "you can't fight everyone's battles. I know you like to have a sense of control with your life and your work, but baby, that part of your job is always going to be out of your hands. You can talk to people, listen and tell their story, you can get involved in their activism and help out, but you can never guarantee the outcome."
"That's difficult to live with," she whispers weakly against his sturdy chest, "Maybe I'm not cut out for this."
"You are," he insists, voice strong and sure, "You care and that's exactly what the world needs. And whether you're doing the work or not, those things are still happening. Isn't it better to be involved in some way than not at all?"
She bites at the inside of her lip as she thinks over his words.
"Yes. It is."
She can feel the small grin that forms on his lips against her head. She turns so her chin is resting on his chest, light blue eyes meeting his amber stare. He looks over her features tenderly, like he's surveying something precious for marks or wounds.
"Promise me something," he mumbles, the timbre of his deep voice reverberates against her chest.
"What?"
"Please don't put your life on the line for others."
She softens against him, "I wouldn't have died, Jess."
"You don't know that. You just said you don't know what happened to that guy."
She gulps.
"I don't know if I can promise that, but I will try. It's sort of instinctual, don't you think?"
He nods and kisses her head.
"Okay. Can you promise to not start a fight with international authorities?"
She laughs and dips her head in a nod, "Okay. That I will promise."
"Thank you. I hear it's much more difficult to bail someone out of jail in another country."
"I wouldn't know, I only have experience with that in the United States."
Jess looks confused but then smirks, "The yacht. I finally get to hear your thievery lore?"
She purses her lips, "Maybe after the shower you promised me."
"Can we meet halfway, and you tell me in the shower?"
She grins and sits up, legs bent on each side of him. She holds out her hand and he takes it.
"Pick up ice cream for us afterwards and you've got yourself a deal."
"Your deals always involve food or dessert," he laughs and shakes her hand, "But yes, deal. Pleasure doing business with you, Bonnie Parker."
PS - I was reading your reviews on "We'll always have Paris", thank you! And just want to confirm that this story will include parts that take place closer in time to the one-shot, and are more directly related to it. I am just taking my sweet time getting there! thanks for reading my work xoxo