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Twenty minutes later, the diner is cleared of everyone except Jess and Rory. The table cleaned hastily by Luke before leaving, all the lights shut off and any sign of life gone in the dining room downstairs. Jess now has Rory pressed against the door in the apartment above. Hands holding her face sweetly as he kisses her. When they break apart, she asks, "How did you manage to get an emergency town meeting called?"
"Don't worry about it," he mutters in response, face alight with mischief, "wouldn't want to implicate you."
She bites her lip to stop from smiling at his antics.
"Tell me, I want to be implicated. We're in this together. Bonnie and Clyde!"
"That did not end well for them. It's better I keep you out of it."
She rolls her eyes in faux exasperation, "Jess!"
He chuckles and kisses her again, "nothing crazy. I prank called Taylor and told him Woodbury had already collected over five thousand cans for their annual can drive, and I just knew it would result in a town meeting. He would be nothing without his minions."
"Very clever, Mr. Mariano," she compliments, running her hands down his chest.
"I try. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's knowing exactly how to set someone off."
"And get someone off," Rory jokes with a raised eyebrow, the dirty words catching Jess by surprise.
"Oh, I see what you wanted to come up here for then. You want to break in the new mattress, don't you?" he smirks and leans forward to begin placing electric kisses down her neck. She melts at the luscious feeling, thoughts already beginning to go hazy.
"Mmmm yes. Wait no, but also yes!"
He chuckles against her, his hands glide down her body and his words vibrate on her skin, "which is it? I'm hoping for yes."
His tongue licks in a distracting motion from her neck and across her collarbone. She moans and closes her eyes for a moment, enjoying his mouth all over her skin.
"Seems like a yes," he eventually mumbles before moving his mouth over hers. She yields to him completely, bodies pressed together, and mouths fused. He slows his kissing to take a breath and holds his body away from hers just enough to run a hand from her chest to just below her hips, fingers dipping into the top of her jeans. The location of his hand, in the spot on her body that gave nothing away in the pictures they looked at down stairs, reminds her of the actual purpose of being alone. She pulls her head back from him, catching an adorable glimpse of his face still in kissing mode before he opens his eyes and looks at her. She takes a breath, his hand moves lower and he has fingers pressed against the outside of her cotton underwear. With a devilish smile on his face, he puts more pressure there. She bites her lip, suddenly wanting to get lost in this sensuality and wait to talk to him about their future later. He studies her face expectantly as his fingers hook around the fabric and sink inside of her. Her breath catches at the feeling, and she throws her arms around his neck to start kissing him again.
Just as his other hand manages to unbutton her jeans, they hear footsteps outside the door and someone calling Jess's name. He pulls away from Rory and lets out a deflated, disappointed breath. Face bright red and cursing, she yanks at his hand until he pulls it out of her pants and buttons them back up.
"Jess! Are you up here?" the high pitched voice comes from behind the door. Jess closes his eyes and shakes his head.
"I'm going to kill her."
"That's your little sister!" Rory chastises him, hitting him on the arm, then shouts to her, "we're here Doula! Just a second."
Jess glares at the door, and calls out, "what do you want?"
The door handle shakes, and then she says in an astounded manner, "this door is locked!"
"No shit Sherlock. It's to keep out unwanted guests."
"Jess!" both Rory and Doula exclaim at the same time.
He groans in frustration, and bows his head, cursing to himself. Finally, he pulls away from Rory's body, and watches her reaction as he sticks the fingers that were inside her in his mouth.
"Cut it out," she hisses, placing her hands on her face to try and cool down the fiery flush. He smirks and winks at her, leaning in to kiss her once more before unlocking the door. They move out of the way and Doula immediately throws it open and strides inside like she lives there, sitting down at the small table in the kitchen.
"Sure, come on in. Make yourself at home. Completely crash my evening with Rory," Jess deadpans, stepping up to the table with his arms crossed. Doula sticks her tongue out at him and Rory chuckles at them.
"It's okay. Is the town meeting over already?"
"Ugh, I don't know. Taylor called me out and told me to leave and go to bed, so I look 'bright eyed and bushy tailed' for the can drive tomorrow. It made me mad."
"So you came here to make us suffer too, huh?"
"You can pretend to be mean to me all you want, but I know you love me. You even like me! I'm your favorite sister."
He rolls his eyes, "you're my only sister."
"Nuh uh, don't you kind of have one from your dad?"
That gets his attention, and he regards her suspiciously, "what are you talking about?"
"Mom told me that you have been talking to your dad, and that you didn't really know him for a long time. She said to be extra nice to you because you're probably stressed out about it."
Rory looks between the siblings, Jess looking vexed and Doula looking a bit oblivious.
"Why is she talking to you about that? And what else did she say?"
"I asked her if you knew your dad. Because one of my friends at school doesn't know his dad and he said he doesn't care, and so it got me thinking if you know yours. And if you care."
He stares at her, unsure of what to say. Uncomfortable with having parts of his life discussed without being present.
"Anyway, she said you stayed with him for a little while and got to know him and his new family when you were younger. And that he has a step-daughter that she thinks is closer to my age than yours. So…I do have competition, actually. But I know I'm the favorite."
He blinks a couple of times, processing her words, and then sighs.
"Why didn't you text me to ask me these questions? You love to text me the most random crap I've ever seen in my life. Like a picture of baby Yoda replacing Simba in the Lion King or, god, you must have sent me twenty different pictures of Keanu Reeves with words on them in the last month alone."
Doula exclaims, "those are called memes! Everyone loves memes!"
Rory chuckles to herself, taking a seat at the table, "he knows they're called memes. He just pretends he doesn't to be cool."
"That sounds pretty lame to me."
Jess heaves an annoyed sigh, "this is all beside the point. The point is, you text me incessantly so why didn't you just ask me your questions?"
She takes a second to think before shrugging, "I thought it might annoy you."
"That doesn't stop you from doing literally any of the other things you do to me."
"Yes but that's fake! You pretend to be annoyed. Rory knows. We talked about it. You're actually very nice in your heart."
Jess makes a face at that, looking between Rory and Doula. Rory just shrugs in response.
"Whatever," he grumbles, letting the topic go, "Why did you come up here?"
She picks up the backpack she brought with her and takes out a notebook.
"Because. I wrote a book report and it's due on Monday. Can you read it for me and tell me if it's good? Since you seem to care about my future at school so much," she pushes it across the table to him. His disgruntled appearance softens, and he finally takes a seat at the table too.
"Why do you want me to look at it?"
"You like to read, and you know everything about books. You even write them. I want to know if you think it's good or not. You're the expert."
His mouth twists into a genuine smile, and he good naturedly rolls his eyes and takes the notebook.
"Fine. I will read it. What book is it about?" he asks, as he thumbs through the pages. He stops at a drawing of hearts, with a name in the middle, and asks, "who's Kayla?"
Doula's face tints pink, and she takes it from his hands, "no one! I bookmarked the report, you don't need to go through my whole notebook."
Jess and Rory exchange a look.
"Is she a girl that you like? I remember you said you think girls are pretty. Is she one of them?" Rory asks carefully, looking at her with a kind smile.
"Maybe," she mumbles in response, handing the notebook back to Jess on the right page. Then she adds quietly, "she doesn't really talk to me outside of class though. We have art together and she draws the best animal pictures. She's really good and she's really nice too. She always compliments me on my drawings but when class is over and I see her in the hallway, she doesn't always say hi. I don't know how to talk to her more or hang out with her outside of school."
They listen intently, and something dawns on Rory.
"Is that why you texted me last week to ask how Jess got my attention when we were in high school? You wanted ideas?"
"What did you tell her?" Jess asks with a big smirk.
"Books and magic tricks."
He gives a pleased grin and starts to open his mouth, but she cuts him off, "I told her specifically that the books worked, the magic tricks most definitely did not."
He frowns and gives her a look.
"But even if you didn't like them, they got your attention. Annoyed attention, but attention nonetheless," he remarks cleverly, then turns back to Doula, "want to learn some magic tricks?"
She makes a face, "no thanks. I don't want annoyed attention."
He shrugs then looks down at her book report and grins, "To Kill a Mockingbird. That's a good one. Did you like it?"
He doesn't look up, instead starts to read her words, "by the way, love that you wrote this on paper instead of typing it on a computer."
She shrugs, "it was okay."
His eyes lift up briefly to look at her, "one of the most popular and arguably significant novels of the last century, and your raving review is 'it was okay'. You are something else."
"I just didn't really get it!"
"Really? It's pretty obviously about social issues like racism. You didn't see that?"
Doula crosses her arms over her chest, her face screws into a look of upset, "just tell me if you think I'm stupid."
Jess freezes and swiftly looks up at her. His mouth twists, and Rory can easily read the mix of guilt and uncertainty on his face. She's sure his mind is going a million miles a second, trying to make sense of what just happened. She leans forward on her elbow on the table, and her other hand discreetly rests on his leg in support. Slowly, he shakes his head.
"I don't think you're stupid at all."
She doesn't say anything but looks down at the table, irritation clear on her face. He takes a breath and leans forward to tap the table in front of her, getting her to look back up at him.
"I don't think you're stupid, Doula. I'm sorry if I made you think that. Sometimes…my words don't come out quite right. And I don't always think things through before I say them. You're very smart, and it's totally okay that you didn't like or understand the book. I just meant to say, your perspective is unusual. And that's not a bad thing."
She hesitantly nods but doesn't say anything. He is about to say more when a phone starts ringing. Doula looks up at him and pulls it out of her pocket.
"You left your phone downstairs," she holds it out to him, "that's the other reason I came up here. I forgot."
He takes it without bothering to check it and sticks it in his pocket. He looks her over and is reminded of how young she is by her face, still looking round and childlike. Yet, at the same time, she looks like she's about to be a teenager, with a couple of blemishes on her skin and her arms looking leaner, like the baby fat there is vanishing more and more every day. She's taller than the last time he saw her in person too, which was for his birthday dinner in Stars Hollow. He realizes that she's at a point in her life where things will start to affect her more than they used to. Where she is most likely becoming overly cognizant of the way she and the world around her is changing; that weird place between childhood and adolescence where she doesn't quite have power over her life but she's becoming painfully aware of what she might want from it. And he understands suddenly the level of sensitivity needed on his part. In the back of his mind, he thinks about the daughters he dreamed about on his birthday and has a sort of emerging hope that he's being tested in preparation for that future. Otherwise, he will feel like he's just been an insensitive jerk with no lesson to be learned.
"I haven't been your age in a long time," he finally says quietly, as though he feels guilty for an age gap he had no control over, "I forget what it's like to be…all mixed up about yourself."
She looks at him curiously, but frowns when he continues,
"And I'm sure that girls have it harder, with hormones and such."
Rory facepalms next to him, "Jess! Don't blame her reaction on hormones. You were doing so great. That's just…not the right thing to say."
His phone starts ringing again, and he quickly feels in his pocket to turn the sound off, needing his full attention on this conversation. He curses to himself.
"I'm not!" he exclaims defensively, then turns to Doula, "I'm not blaming it on your hormones. I'm just saying, at your age I know that things are confusing. You don't know exactly who you are yet, and you're just getting into this awareness of other people perceiving you. It's a weird time, and I'm sure even weirder for girls."
His sister makes a face, "you mean because of…periods? Rory did you tell him?!"
"No, of course not! I wouldn't betray your privacy like that. I don't think that's what he meant."
"God, no, that's not what I meant. I didn't know about that, Rory didn't say anything," Jess huffs, and the struggle of this conversation is visible all over his face and body language. She wants to help him, to steer the conversation back in the right direction somehow; but at the same time, it's his sister and she knows he will want to make it better himself.
"Well, now you know! I have a period now. And it was already awkward enough when mom threw me a menstruation party and invited two of my friends. Now my brother knows too."
Jess covers his face with his hands for a moment trying to organize his thoughts. Rory waits with bated breath for his response. He takes a breath then uncovers his face and can't help but ask,
"What the hell is a menstruation party?"
Doula looks unsure about replying for a moment, then sighs.
"She bought all red colored foods, like strawberries and Twizzlers, and made some sort of knock-off Kool aid. Then she planned to not only tell me and my friends the story of when she got her first period, but she wanted us to do a flower dance to celebrate like some Native American tribe she read about."
Jess grimaces, "that sounds like straight up appropriation. What a lunatic."
She nods in agreement, "but I called Rory and she called Aunt Lorelai and Aunt Lorelai saved me by calling mom in to work an emergency shift at the Inn. Me and my friends ended up having a good time actually, we had all those snacks and watched a movie."
Jess's eyes shift to Rory with a kind but questioning look in them, completely unaware that she had this level of a relationship with his sister. She smiles softly, her shoulder moving slightly in a small shrug.
He looks back to his little sister with a raised eyebrow and in a teasing tone asks, "Do you need me to adopt you? Get you out of that asylum?"
Her lips twitch as she tries to keep from smiling, and she rolls her eyes at him. He changes to a look of sincerity and apology.
"What I was trying to say before is," he starts, looking up at the ceiling and then back down to her, "I'm an idiot sometimes. I'm sorry."
She nods and then with a smirk jokes, "sometimes?"
"Gonna let that go since I'm the one groveling here," he mutters, "I want to reiterate that I don't think you're stupid. I actually don't think anything bad about you at all, in case you didn't know that. I find it interesting, compelling even, that you didn't like the book, is all that I meant."
He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, signaling another phone call. He groans and finally takes it out to see who is calling. Rory watches as his face goes from annoyed to curious. He stands up and says to the table, "I have to take this, it's work. Be right back."
He steps away to the hallway outside the apartment and answers the call.
"Hey Brooke, everything okay? Surprised to see you call me this late."
"Hi Jess," his employee responds, and her nervous tone worries him, "sorry, I'm still at Truncheon because I had to stay late to reconcile the register. I've been at it for the last hour but can't make sense of it. There seems to be three hundred dollars missing."
"Huh. And you checked to make sure it wasn't a credit card transaction accidentally marked as cash?"
"Yes. The amount is completely missing. I hate to suggest this but…I was thinking maybe you can check the security footage? See if you find anything weird."
Immediately, he reads between the lines of her words. And he appreciates her delicate approach.
"Good idea. Thanks for calling me. Listen, you go ahead and finish up and just leave the register at a variance. I'll fix it when I'm back. I appreciate you staying late to try and take care of this, and make sure you enter your hours for overtime."
"Okay, will do. Thanks, and have a nice weekend with Rory. You can tell her we sold another Hemingway today, and please describe to me how hard she rolls her eyes next time we work together."
He laughs, but it's a distracted response at best, and says, "Okay. Bye."
He ends the call and just stares at his phone screen for a minute. He closes his eyes and sighs heavily. After another moment, he scrolls through his phone until he finds the app for Truncheon's security cameras. He finds the videos from the camera above the register for that day and starts to comb through. His throat tightens and he slows the footage as he sees Brandon, one of the student employees, hovering around the cash register at around five pm - right before he was scheduled to leave for the day. He sees him check his immediate surroundings before leaning slightly to cover the register from view. But Jess can easily make out the bills being snatched and crumpled into his pocket.
"Shit," Jess mutters to himself, unsure of what exactly to do. Because he's been there before. And he knows that if this kid is taking that money, it's either for a very good reason, or…it's potentially for a very bad one, and that's a path he doesn't want to see any of them go down. It's a sensitive situation, and he struggles with deciding whether he should address it or not at all. Whether he should let it go and just keep an eye on him. Or have a conversation with him the following week at work. He doesn't want to push him away or make him feel like he's being monitored because he's not trusted. In a way, the situation feels similar to what he was feeling only moments ago trying to mitigate the Doula fallout. While wondering why the universe is testing him this way, he gets an alert from the app that someone is near the backdoor of Truncheon. He assumes it's Brooke leaving, but clicks on it anyway to see that it's Brandon trying to get in. Jess feels a strange sense of relief, but it's short lived as realizes this means something is wrong at home. He clicks to connect to the camera and says, "Brandon, it's Jess."
The boy jumps in surprise and then attempts to put on a cool facade.
"Hey, sorry. I left something here earlier. I can come back and get it tomorrow."
"No. I'll unlock it for you," Jess stops him, and notices the slightest dip of relaxation in his shoulders, "And I'll be there in a couple hours, I'm just leaving Connecticut. Make yourself comfortable."
He watches as Brandon opens his mouth to respond, lips screwing up in an ever so familiar scowl, but he closes it as he hears the doors unlock. He then just shakes his head and walks inside. Jess locks the door behind him from his phone, then puts it in his pocket and steps back into the apartment. Rory's eyes meet his immediately, face inquisitive and concerned. He beckons her over to the door with a nod of his head.
"What's wrong?"
He leans in to say quietly so Doula can't hear, "I think one of the student employees needs help. He took money from the register today, and just now showed up at Truncheon trying to get inside."
Her eyes widen in surprise, and she looks Jess over. She can feel his anxious energy, and she knows what he wants to do.
"You need to go and talk to him. I'll help Doula with her school stuff."
His body relaxes slightly, and he quickly kisses her, "thank you. I'll be back. Either later tonight or tomorrow."
"Take your time," she insists, "and let me know what happens."
He nods and then walks to the table and grabs his jacket from the chair.
"Doula, Rory is going to help you with your book report. I have a work thing to deal with, I gotta go," he puts his jacket on and then gives her a small smirk, "trust me, you're in better hands with her anyway. She did go to Yale."
Doula stage whispers, "I know, but I think she might be too smart and that's why I didn't ask her in the first place."
Jess's jaw drops in faux offense, and she giggles evilly.
"I'm just kidding. It's okay, go take care of your work thing. I have plenty to talk to Rory about alone anyway."
He catches Rory's nervous look and smirks wider.
"Okay. You ladies have fun. And by the way, as for Kayla, draw her a picture and make it something you want to do with her. Like, a coffee cup to go to the diner or ice cream cone, or a bucket of popcorn for the movies. Write a note on the back to text you if she wants to do that thing with you, stick the drawing in her locker and wait it out."
With that piece of advice, he hustles towards the door and leaves them both with smiles on their faces.
"I would never say this to his face, but that's a genius idea," Doula comments moments after he's gone. Rory looks at her with an amused grin and the two break into laughter.
"Hey, what do you think your mom is going to do with the pilgrim outfit?" she asks as they settle down and look over her report together. Rory shrugs and smiles.
"I don't know for sure, but I would expect something witchy."
"Oh yes! Taylor is going to lose his puritanical mind," she smirks, "I hope Jess makes it back in time to see that."
"Well, even if he doesn't, we'll get to tell him all about it and I think that would be just as fun."
"You're right. Did something bad happen at work?"
"I wouldn't say bad. Jess will have to give you the details. But…remember how we talked earlier about him stepping in when you needed him?"
Doula nods, staring in patient curiosity back at Rory.
"It's not just you he's like that with. I think…it's all kids. I'm sure you know by now that he had a difficult childhood?"
She nods again in silence.
"He feels very strongly about that not happening to others."
"You mean like the students that are working with him? He told me about that at his birthday dinner."
Rory smiles softly, "yes. Exactly."
Doula pauses for a second and then asks carefully, "And that's also why he has trouble talking to his dad? His childhood? And why he's weird with mom sometimes too?"
After a breath and a small shrug, Rory replies, "I think so. But he's trying."
"Well, I think his dad is dumb. I can't imagine someone not wanting to be in Jess's life. I wish I could see him more."
"I fully agree. And you should tell him that. He would appreciate hearing it."
"Before or after he makes fun of me for saying it?"
Rory laughs, "both."
"Those students are lucky to have him," Doula states resolutely, "but just tell him not to talk to any of them about hormones. That was kinda weird."
Rory can't contain her laugh, "it was a little weird. But you know, he's taking this new role of his at work very seriously. I think he is trying to be as understanding as possible. He has good intentions."
"He doesn't need to try so hard. He already understands better than most adults I've ever spoken to."
"We know that," Rory smiles and pats her leg, "and he will realize it too at some point. So, back to the book report?"
"Fine," Doula sighs, "but please remember that I have no desire to go to any fancy schools. Go easy on me."
"Noted, little Jess."
Some hours later, Rory wakes up slowly to the feeling of someone's body getting into bed next to hers. She would panic if she couldn't already tell that it's Jess, by the soft sounds he makes as he gets comfortable under the blankets and by the touch of his hand on her shoulder. She rolls onto her back, and he kisses her head.
"Hi. What time is it?"
"I think it's about two in the morning," he mumbles, slowly wrapping his body around hers.
"That's late, you could have stayed in New York to sleep. I hate to think of you driving all that way in the middle of the night."
"I didn't want to sleep alone."
She exhales softly and kisses his head where it rests next to hers now.
"What happened?"
Jess doesn't answer for a minute, and she thinks either it was too soon to ask or he's asleep. But then he answers, in his nighttime rumble of a voice.
"His dad has been taking the money he makes at Truncheon from him. He didn't say what for, but I can guess well enough. They got into a fight about it, and his dad kicked him out yesterday. He locked all the doors and windows and hid all the spare keys. Left his son homeless and with very noticeable grip shaped bruises on his arms."
"Oh God," Rory gasps.
"He had no resources and resorted to taking from the register and sneaking into the store to sleep tonight. And I…know what that feels like. To be that desperate."
She runs soothing fingers down his arm and waits for him to continue.
"That's why Liz sent me to Stars Hollow, you know…I got in trouble for stealing money from a dumb job at a pizza place."
"I didn't know that," Rory says quietly, careful not to shatter this bubble of safety they're in. He nods his head against her shoulder.
"The difference is, they called the police on me instead of trying to help a kid that was very obviously in a bad situation," then he mumbles, "but, I was a punk with a bad attitude, so I don't know. I guess I don't really blame them."
"What did you do tonight?"
"Gave him more money. Talked to him as much as he would let me. I found out he has an older brother who lives outside the city that he trusts but of course, he didn't want to ask for help. I think I convinced him to get it though. I told him it's just for a little longer until he's done with school and can be on his own anywhere, and that I wish I had taken advantage of the help that was available to me at his age. I told him it has the potential to make a huge difference in his life, and I know that the cost of his independence and dignity seems high, but that it will be worth it when he looks back one day to see he wasn't all alone."
"Oh Jess…"
"But if that didn't work, I told him he can only sleep in my office if he calls his brother right in front of me. So, he did and he's going over there tomorrow, or so he says."
"Were you bluffing?"
"Of course. But I would have forced him to sleep in the library, under Richard's big, watchful eyes if he hadn't called."
Rory releases a much needed laugh at that.
"I don't know what happened today. It feels like the world was testing me to make sure I really am the reliable adult I have worked hard to be. Between Doula and Brandon…"
"What about Doula? You helped her and gave her great advice."
She can tell in the dark that he's moved his head to look up at her.
"Were we not in the same room earlier when I had that dumpster fire of a conversation with her?"
"Jess…what are you being so hard on yourself about?"
"Rory, I made her think that I think that she's stupid."
She tsks kindly, "that was just a misunderstanding."
"A horrible misunderstanding that has the potential to destroy her self-esteem," he argues, "then, even according to you I said the wrong thing when I mentioned hormones. Which led to basically forcing her to discuss very personal things with her brother that is more than twenty years older than her. She must have been so uncomfortable."
His tone is regretful and ashamed, and it concerns Rory the level at which he is overthinking it all.
"It was just a mistake. You meant well, we all know you did. I get what you were trying to do, the only reason I said it was the wrong thing to say is because I want to make sure she knows not to let people get away with that sort of thing. You're not a girl so maybe you don't realize it, but our hormones, and periods, are often used to dismiss our emotions. It's frustrating. But you didn't do anything wrong."
After sitting with her words for a moment, he takes a deep breath.
He murmurs against her skin, "God, you're going to be an amazing mother one day."
Instantly, her face melts into a touched look; soft smile on her lips and grateful eyes.
"And I'm probably going to be a terrible father."
In another instant, she becomes alarmed.
"No, you're not! You're going to be incredible too. You are so good with your little sister, this was just one time and it wasn't like you were purposely mean or malicious. And she forgave you so quickly, Jess. Because she loves you and she knows you have a good heart."
He doesn't respond, but she feels him shake his head. She cautiously snuggles closer to him under the sheets and places a hand on his arm that lays across her.
"You've never been this hard on yourself when it comes to Doula. What's going on?"
"I have been, I've just kept it to myself before. I…know I say the wrong things sometimes. Especially when it comes to her life with Liz and everything. I always feel like I'm a breath away from making her life feel like a joke to her."
She looks at him in the dark, putting a finger under his chin to meet his eyes, "I want you to know that I'm listening to you, and that your feelings are valid. But, I also need you to know that you're crazy."
That gets him to crack a smile and a brief laugh.
"Doula absolutely adores you. And you adore her too, don't even try to argue with that. You guys play around because you're siblings, but there's nothing but love there Jess. You are blowing this one conversation way out of proportion."
"Sometimes it only takes saying one wrong thing," he mumbles, and then looks over at her, "you know that, Rory. It only took one asshole to make you question your dreams."
Her body language hardens a tad, "it was more than Mitchum saying that one thing to me. It was struggling at Yale, it was feeling unequal in my relationship with Logan, it was…years of burning myself out with schoolwork that brought me to that point where, yes, one asshole said the worst possible thing that could be said to me at the time."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to minimize what you went through. Jesus, I'm on a roll tonight," he turns to lay on his back on the mattress and covers his face with his hands. She places her hand on one of his and takes it off his face.
"It's okay. The point of explaining that to you is to say that, yes, sure. Sometimes it only takes one comment to derail someone. But it's built up off of other experiences and that one comment just happens to be the breaking point. The other point I am trying to make is that, you would never make such a hurtful comment. What Mitchum said to me was horrible, but he is a coldhearted, elitist, egotistical, miserable person. Not you. You would not want to stunt someone's growth, ever. That has been clear to me since we had ice cream in that car all those years ago and talked about the future."
Slowly, a smile tugs at his lips, and he listens to her speak with rapt attention.
"You're not the kind of person that would offhandedly say something as cruel as what Mitchum said to me, or any other terrible thing."
"I can be a jerk sometimes."
"No. You like to be a pain in the ass sometimes on purpose. But not a jerk. That's different."
His lips lift higher for a moment before settling into a pensive look.
"I don't want to screw any of those teenagers up. At Truncheon. I hope I did the right thing tonight but I'm worried that I didn't."
Rory takes a breath and nods, realizing this is probably the heart of the issue.
"You couldn't if you tried," she assures him, running her fingers through his hair, "you offered him safety and care. There is nothing more important than that, that you could have done."
She hears him swallow before speaking again in a low voice, "I'm not used to being in this role. Leading and teaching, helping people get equipped for the future. Making sure they aren't left behind. It feels…precarious sometimes."
She gives him a sympathetic smile and runs her fingers through his hair again, then runs her hand down his chest and body to rest on his hip.
"We will be great parents because 'we know exactly what not to do'. You said that to me in Paris, remember?"
He grins softly and nods.
"That goes for any…authoritative role you will find yourself in. Like at Truncheon now. As I said, you couldn't screw them up if you tried."
He looks her over in the dark, her tender face hovering above his, and nods in acceptance.
"Thank you."
They silently move back into more comfortable sleeping positions, Jess feeling at ease enough to rest now. Rory lays her head on his chest, body curled up in a cozy ball next to his. One of his arms wraps around her shoulders, holding her tighter to him. With a kiss to the top of her head, he closes his eyes and begins to ebb into the first layers of sleep. Hearing his name in a whisper pulls him back to wakefulness with a small tremor of panic.
"What's wrong?" he mumbles in response to Rory, hand moving from her shoulder to rest in her hair.
"Nothing's wrong. Though this may not be the right time, I have something I've been wanting to tell you since dinner."
"Something bad?" he asks, his voice giving away apprehension.
"It depends on your opinion of it, I think. To me, it's good."
He hums, "then I'd love to hear it. Give me something nice to think about while I fall asleep."
She kisses his chest and says softly, "It's about getting married."
She feels his body still, clearly unsure of where the conversation is going.
"I told you there's no rush to discuss it."
"I know. But I actually have an idea of what I want to do, and I'm hoping you will be on board with it too."
"I'm listening," he replies steadily, both of his hands resting on her body in full concentration.
Her stomach ripples with nervous butterflies before she goes forth with sharing her dreams.
"I want to have kids before we get married."
He releases a breath of relief, one that she can both feel and hear. Slowly his mouth upturns into a joyful smile against her head.
"Perfect."
She breaks into an elated grin that she's sure matches his, "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He kisses her once on the head, then lifts her chin with a finger to kiss her forehead and nose. Her whole body buzzes with warmth and she closes her eyes. She nestles into his chest more and decides that nothing else needs to be said tonight.
…
She wakes to hot but featherlike touches on her neck late the next morning. She tries to shrug her shoulder into that spot to relieve the small itch it makes her feel, only to run into something else.
"Trying to trap me here?" Jess mumbles against her neck. Her eyes open to see his body poised above hers, and he pulls his head back to greet her.
"I thought there was a bug on my neck or something."
"Ouch, I know I should probably use chapstick more often but, a bug? Really?"
She laughs, "No, not like that. I mean it was so soft and gentle, it didn't feel like your mouth."
"Hey, I can do soft and gentle," he argues, and leans down to exemplify that with a sweet kiss on her forehead, "Especially with how positively besotted I'm feeling this morning."
He pulls back from her face again, and her eyes meet his. She feels a deep fondness emanating from him. It causes oxygen to catch in her chest, and she is wordless in the face of this tender emotion. He nods, reading her mind and her body, knowing how affected she's feeling.
"What you said last night. I think that's a great idea."
She smiles and brings a hand to hold his face.
He continues, "It's very original. Unexpected and non-traditional. In a good way. It's us."
"It's us?" her eyebrow raises at that description, her eyes stay locked on his face for more information.
"Oh yeah," he says, tone assured and nodding his head. He then lowers his body carefully, resting his weight on his forearms that now frame her head. His fingers tangle in her hair and he continues more softly.
"We have..such a deep love for each other that isn't contingent on anything other than that love. And we have crafted a beautiful life together without inhibiting either of our individual desires. That's not the norm, Rory. You would know. Like…someone wanting you to upend your life to follow his dreams to California," he says knowingly, then kisses her quickly on the lips, "we're different. Planning to have children before we get married is fitting."
A sweeping current of love and adoration flows through her chest. He often shows her that he gets her, that he understands every fibre of her being. But in this moment she realizes how much he gets them, together as a couple. She leans forward and kisses him hard.
"That's beautiful," she whispers as they break apart, "I was more thinking about how nice it was to be a part of mom's wedding. And the conversation last night…hearing how excited Doula is to be part of her parents' vow renewal. But, god, what you said is just as good a reason."
He smiles and tenderly traces an index finger over her cheek.
"You want them to be a part of our day, to be in the pictures and part of our love. That's beautiful too."
She nods with her big, shining smile. Then she swallows and her smile shrinks slightly.
"And looking at those pictures of us at the wedding…got me thinking about what was supposed to be. You know?"
His features turn serious. Holding her face with both hands, he kisses her chin and her lips. Then places his hands beneath her head on the bed and cradles it between them.
"I know. Something missing from the pictures, from our home. From the table downstairs last night, and even in this room right now."
She sniffs back her emotions and blinks a few times, but he sees it all on her face.
"I know, Rory," he says softly, "they would have been a part of our wedding day. I get that too. I didn't need any reasons other than your own desire to do it this way. But all of your inspirations for this decision are moving, and deeply significant. I can see your visions clearly…and I'm going to make sure they become a reality. Okay?"
She nods and sits quietly; his words and body cocooning her in warmth and safety. The way he is affected by what she's been through, the way he treats it so seriously, feels…special. Like they're a team and he takes any hits to her as hard as she does. It feels validating and is as beautiful as it is heavy. Needing to express her vast appreciation of this symbiosis, she is reminded of words she said but he didn't get to hear.
"Did I ever tell you that I yelled at Jimmy for describing our relationship as 'dating'?"
His mouth twitches but he shakes his head.
"No...we never really spoke about that conversation."
Rory smiles to let him know it's okay. He had spent most of that day, until early evening writing something. By the time he was done, he was exhausted, and they mindlessly watched movies for the rest of the night. After that day, he seemed lighter and like he had put it behind him. She didn't want to compromise that by bringing it up. Since then, she knows he's been communicating with Jimmy still in small doses, and while their relationship may not be a stable one, they are both still trying in their own ways.
"I told him that I'm irrevocably and eternally in love and in partnership with you. And told him to never use such tame language to describe what we are again."
She watches happily as his whole face lights up. He kisses her, lingering a bit long as he sucks gently on her bottom lip. He pulls away with a look that's somewhere between a smirk and a smile.
"Mind if I steal that for our wedding vows?"
She giggles, "You have plenty of time to come up with your own! You're a writer. You'll think of something."
He clicks his tongue, "Damn, I really liked that. It's going to be hard to capture the depth of my feelings for you, no matter how much time I have."
"You've done it plenty of times before," she kisses him and then adorably confesses, "I was nervous last night to tell you about this but I'm so glad I did."
"Why were you nervous?"
"I was starting to think maybe you…needed some time to decide if you still want kids."
He gives her a look of disbelief, "Are you crazy? God, of course I still want a family with you."
"I just thought…with everything you said last night, about Doula and Brandon, that you might be rethinking it."
"No, no," he replies sternly, realizing how his words must have sounded to her, "I didn't mean it that way at all. It was the opposite, actually. I was hoping that the universe is preparing me for the future of dealing with our own kids. That's why I tried so hard to relate to Doula especially yesterday…because I'm sure we will have a daughter or two."
Rory's lips stretch wide, "Really?"
"Yes. Really. And as for the Brandon stuff…if I can build a relationship with a kid that's not mine, and be someone that he trusts to turn to, it makes me feel like there's no chance I will end up like my father to my kids."
"That was never a possibility, Jess," her reply is immediate and forcibly sincere.
He nods and kisses her sweetly.
"I know there is plenty of room for improvement in my communication with the youth. But I have time to work on that," then he looks her over, "Right? You're not trying to tell me something else are you?"
"No, I'm not pregnant. And you're already great at talking to 'the youth', we established that yesterday," she says with a laughing smile, then more seriously says, "but…I'm going to start thinking about it. It does take some planning, you know. Especially with our careers."
"I understand. Please keep talking to me about it, okay? Whenever you have ideas or…run into something in your mind that you can't find a solution to. We'll figure it out together."
She smiles, "Okay. And you too. If you have thoughts, or plans you want to discuss, talk to me."
He nods and presses his lips on hers again.
"You know," he says when they pull apart, a distant sort of look in his eyes, "I think I would really enjoy being a stay at home dad. Just something to think about."
She blinks and then smiles, she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him towards her until he's lying flat on top of her on the mattress. She kisses him deeply.
"I didn't expect that sentence to turn you on," he mumbles as he hovers over her. She laughs.
"It's not so much the sentence as it is you. I know we belong together, but there are just moments where it's so clear that I'm with the right person."
His eyes roam over her face, "and that was one of them?"
"Yes," she confirms, one of her hands tangle in his hair, "There's not another man that I've been with that would ever say something like that, and it's not even an idea that occurred to me. But as soon as you said it…"
"It sounds right, doesn't it?" he smiles softly, "you belong out in the world doing what you love. And it would be the greatest pleasure of my life, I'm sure, to get to stay home and care for little Rory's."
"God, Jess," she responds breathily, "if you don't stop saying these things, I'm going to want to start on that family right now."
He smirks and leans down to kiss her, tongue slow and exploring her mouth. He pulls back.
"Like I said, all you have to do is say when."
"I will. But right now, it feels like there is a second heart beating between my legs. Please help," she begs, raising her hips against his. He grins at the flustered look on her face, as she bites her lip and turns red. She reaches between them and shimmies her pajama shorts down. Jess sits back to help her tug them off, surrounded by the bed sheet and blanket. She sees that he's only wearing underwear and grins.
"Lay on your side, baby, I'm going to lay next to you," he mutters, nudging her gently. She quickly follows his orders and then lies next to her, so they are pressed together, chest to chest.
He pushes his arm beneath her, to hold her around the shoulders. Their faces meet and immediately his mouth is on hers; one of her arms goes around his neck. As they kiss, his other hand reaches to her leg, and tugs at her knee. She lifts her leg up slightly to rest on top of his, and with this new space, his hand goes under her underwear and finds the slippery place it was at the night before. She moans, her whole mouth humming around his tongue. She wasn't lying; he can tell she's already almost there as she starts to shake in his arms. His fingers push deeper, and his palm moves slower but more firmly against her swollen clit. He breaks away from their kiss to breathe and watches the pleasurable faces she makes with gratification. She's squirming and shaking, hovering close to her climax. Every move he makes she whimpers.
"Fuck, you're a livewire, baby," he mutters, captivated by her reactions. She is unable to speak; her nerves on fire and taking quick, hard breaths. He leans forward and puts his mouth on her neck. He licks and nibbles at her delicate skin, and suddenly moves his palm in bigger, rougher circles. She mumbles incoherent curse words, and moments later she shatters in his arms; panting and slightly disoriented.
"I didn't realize you were so wound up," he mutters against her neck, "do you need a minute?"
She takes a breath and nods.
"Just a minute," she takes a couple more breaths before saying, "it's your fault. I told you what your words were doing to me."
He chuckles and moves away from her neck to kiss her face. Slowly his hand moves from between them and caresses her chest.
"I'm thrilled that anything I do can make you feel that way. Feels powerful."
"You have all the power. You get me, you get us. It's the most powerful thing, how in touch you are. Sometimes it feels like…we're watching a movie together, but you wrote the movie, so you can see what happens way before I do," her words are low and slow, as she comes down from the peak she was just on, "every ounce of me is yours, Jess."
"Oh, Rory," he mumbles, "you're wrong. All the power is with you. The only reason I know what you want and need, and what's good for us, is because I hang on to every single thing you do. Every word, action, breath. You've got a lifelong hold on me, and I plan to make it a good ride for both of us."
His tone and his words make her shiver. Feeling recovered, she grins and bites her lip and pats her hand against the bed.
"Speaking of going on a good ride, ready to really test this new mattress?"
He smirks, and instead of responding, he grabs her by the hips and swiftly moves them so he's lying on the bed, and she sits on top of him.
"Wow, this mattress is much more comfortable in this position than the old one," she bounces in his lap a couple of times, "and much more buoyant."
His erection grows against her with each motion, and she smiles proudly down at him. His hands hold her firmly at the hips, keeping her in place.
"I did my research, baby, this mattress can take everything we give it," he mumbles with a lustful smirk, and as he grinds up against her he asks, "can you?"
"Yes," she responds easily, smile dropping from her face as her body quickly burns with desire again, "give me everything."
His eyes wander over her heated cheeks and her pink lips that rest in a plumpish pout. He drifts down to her chest, where the top of her round porcelain breasts peek out of her black camisole top. His eyes move back to her face again, but it's her heart he thinks about when he replies in a whisper, "I intend to."
AN: i really had a vision for this chapter, but executing it was a struggle. I don't know why. I'm going to blame vacation brain and say that my mind is still poolside in Las Vegas (probably drunk off of frozen daiquiris). truly hoping you can understand and see my intentions :)
thank you again for reading! and I noticed the story has gained quite a few new followers lately - welcome! so happy to have you!