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Jess looks over her body with a worshiping type of appreciation, splayed out in front of him on top of his desk at home. It was a normal Sunday morning for them; well, the new normal with the recent changes she made, anyway. The conversation last week, where she revealed she's ready to have children with him, on the one hand, caught him completely by surprise. While they had alluded to family type stuff over the last year, they had not had a serious talk about it, not since that time that she had a pregnancy scare and it was determined that she wasn't ready yet. But, on the other hand, once she said it - that she had put all these plans in action, without talking to him, to start a family - he realized that there were signs. The change in her regarding her miscarriage- when she found her pregnancy journal after the dance marathon, and did not shed one tear, he thinks was the first. The next that came to mind was her initial disappointment when the idea of him going on a book tour was brought up in December. Even that morning, before he knew about the New York Times list, she had been acting differently. Not finishing her breakfast, randomly calling him for a walk in the middle of the day; even the meeting with her boss she seemed nervous about, which was very unlike her. Not to mention all of the ways he's caught her looking at him while taking care of Connor, starting with that day in his office. He had chalked all of these situations up to how weird it must have been for her finally coming home after multiple trips to a tumultuous place; just a consequential emotional struggle, because he knows she cares about everything and wants to help everyone, and so he's sure she felt guilty in her very Rory way for being in the comfort of her home again.
But it was her final article that she wrote in December about her year in Ukraine that's implications seem much clearer to him now. It was an amazing piece, describing the unnecessary devastation, while juxtaposing the strength and beauty that simultaneously exists there. She had an interview with a pregnant woman, he remembers, who was excited to give birth despite other challenges in her life. Rory had written about her so brilliantly, using her as a symbol for the potential of the country's future if things can change. The closing lines of the article were: There is always the promise of rebirth. It should not require total devastation, and there are injustices that need to be corrected retroactively and immediately. But the rebirth will be more powerful than what it has been put through; its embryonic qualities including peace, equity, and prosperity - there is a beautiful future to be seen here. It is already in the hearts of many of its citizens, and I am grateful to them for allowing me to see it so I can share it with you.
He can see this was as much personal as it was for the public. And especially the concept of rebirth is something they have both used in their respective works, and in discussion with each other. It's clear that the previous year affected her deeply, yet its outcome is something intricately positive. He is aware of all the parts of her choice, he is aware of what it has taken to get to this place for her and for them. It's funny, in a way, that he was so worried about something happening to her each time she left last year. He never considered that what might happen could be a good thing.
When she confessed a few days ago how far back this process went, he at first was a little hurt that she kept this secret desire from him. Of course, he would have chosen to stay home to work on a family, instead of going on a book tour. But she knew that, and when she asked him to put himself in her shoes, he understood. He would have done the same thing. If he's being honest, he has done the same thing. He has been ready to do this with her for a long time. The hurt metamorphosed to appreciation; he loves her for valuing his work as highly as a decision like having a baby.
He knows her inside and out too, and even though he didn't know precisely where her mind was all this time, his subconscious surely picked up on something. Maybe changes in her energy. He has felt a craving to open up to her more, compounded perhaps by their distance while he was traveling. Being so far away from each other had him grappling for ways to connect with her other than the phone calls and messages. It's why he read what he did to a room full of mostly strangers at that book store in Rhode Island. It's why he finally showed her a place that he lived, as jarring as it was at first for him. And it's also why he cracked himself open a little bit in the car that day, revealing a crumb of some of the insecurity he feels about Connor, and kids in general. Safe adults were hard to come by when he was a kid, but the few that he did have over the years (including Luke), made a world of difference. There should have been more though, and that's why he feels an immense weight when it comes to caring for people like Connor and Liam, and Brandon and especially his sister. He never wants to be a person that a struggling adolescent would be afraid to talk to, or that has no faith in his abilities to make any difference to them. Her assurance, and the fact that she said the words out loud to him before he even asked, made him want to open up to her even more. And so, he did, in the form of his journal that he kept while she was away last year. He decided it's something sacred, that should be kept between the two of them rather than ever published into something for the world to see. It's meaning will stay inscribed in their hearts only.
With all of these truths, feelings and realizations culminating to that conversation, the week has been full of him deifying her through love-making and words. They were supposed to keep their hands off of each other today though, they made that pact yesterday afternoon when he caught her wincing as she sat down on the couch:
"You're in pain."
"No!" she tried to argue, but conceded at his sharp look, "okay, I'm sore. But it's not a bad kind of pain. I'm enjoying it."
"Pain is pain, Rory. Maybe we overdid it this week, I'm sorry. It's been hard to keep my hands off you."
"Do you hear me complaining?"
"I don't hear you, but I do see your body complaining," he answered smartly, "no sex for the rest of today or tomorrow. Deal?"
She pouted but gave in with a sigh, "okay. A day off is probably a good idea."
He held his hand out and they shook on it.
"Always enjoy doing business with you," he teased, "I'm going to go get some ice packs. Lay down and rest."
"Jess! So unnecessary!"
"Can't hear you."
"You're too much."
"Well, you are everything, so I need to take care of you."
But somehow he's now found himself buried inside of her on top of his desk. They started the day off with a stroll to a local coffee shop, taking their time there to sip coffees and eat a small breakfast. Then, because it was a nice day, they ended up walking down to Truncheon to say hi since no one there had seen Rory since she returned from Europe. Of course, while there, he was handed a manuscript that came in the day before and he ended up taking it home with him. He decided to get working on it, at Rory's insistence that it would be good for both of them to have distractions, and so he did that while she sat keeping herself busy in the living room.
About fifteen minutes ago, however, she came in to the office with one of those enthralling sheepish smiles on her face, and a lovely blush creeping up her cheeks. It easily snatched his interest from the manuscript about a betrayal between two brothers, and he took in every single one of her words and shy body movements with enraptured attention.
"I found out something interesting from this app that I got us."
"I'm beyond intrigued."
"Well, you see, I didn't take into account that I stopped birth control when we first talked about this last week. So, my period started a little earlier than usual."
"Uh huh."
"And so, when I put in all of my menstrual cycle info for the last couple of months, which was easy thankfully because my journals have been very detailed lately, I found out that it's actually incredibly likely that I have been ovulating this week."
Immediately, the smirk appeared.
"You don't say. It's a good thing we've been putting all that work in then, huh?"
His eyes snapped to her bottom lip then, being rolled between her teeth; her blush increasing like a glow around it.
"Very good."
"You look like you're embarrassed. Why?"
"I'm not embarrassed," she mumbled, and then admitted, "it's just that, today's supposedly the last fertile day until next month."
He had her in his arms, and pressed against the desk in a matter of seconds.
"Well, we can't let that go to waste, can we?"
He already made her tremble until she splintered with pleasure, sitting in his desk chair with her pressed up to his mouth, her legs spread and rested on his shoulders. Now he's plunging into her as thoroughly as he can, while attempting to keep a gentle pace because the tightness surrounding him is a certain sign that she is still sore from the week's activities. His eyes sweep continuously over her body; often landing on the place between her hips that he's trying to infiltrate with his half of the work to create something there. Her whines and moans are soft and subtle today, her hands planted lovingly on top of his where they're grasping at her hips. Everything about her right now is a pillowy dream, and despite the marathon-like intimacy they've been having that would exhaust and empty out any forty year old man, her suppleness and the possibility of conceiving manages to make him explode inside of her rather easily.
He moves his hands from her hips to frame her head on the desk, leaning down to give her a tender kiss on the lips.
"You okay?" he asks, voice quiet compared to the loud groan that escaped him just a moment ago, "feels a little swollen down there."
"I'm okay," she nods with a small smile, "we broke our agreement."
The side of his mouth perks up, his eyes look between hers.
"For good reason. Right?"
She nods and pushes herself up on her elbows to kiss him. Their faces break apart, eyes locked in a trance and bodies still connected between their legs.
"I can't believe we're really doing this," Jess confesses in a vulnerable whisper, "I've had dreams about it. I've thought about it in great detail. You and I have discussed it many times. But now…"
"We're actually doing it. I know," she matches his sensitive tone, "I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around it myself, and I've been ready for longer than you knew."
A gentle smile blooms on his face.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Jess."
He takes a breath, and then Rory watches as his face switches to playful.
"So, did you do anything special when you stopped taking birth control?"
"What do you mean?" she chuckles, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Like, give it a special send off. Light candles for it, bury it somewhere with flowers, you know. Something special."
She throws her head back and laughs loudly.
"No! Why would I do that?"
"Because," he argues, pushing himself to a standing position between her legs, "it deserved a nice send off. It was really good to us, you know. Only gave us that one scare ever, and god knows we've tested it."
She can't control the amused laughter that won't stop bubbling out of her.
"That's adorable, what would you have done with it?"
He brings a hand to his chin in though, "I think I would have buried it in a garden with beautiful flowers."
"How sweet," she giggles, "but that would be bad for the earth and the animals. That's why I had to dispose of it properly. In the Netherlands you have to bring any medicine that you want to get rid of to a pharmacy, so that's what I did."
He frowns, "how very clinical. Nobody wants to die that way."
"I'll be honest, it was a little weird for me. It's been a part of my daily routine for over twenty years."
He grins, "well, you've added vitamins every morning so that should make up for the loss."
She grins back at him. He runs a hand up her leg, landing between her hips where he soothes his thumb over her skin.
"You should take a warm bath. It's good for soreness," he murmurs, "I'll go run you one."
"I'm really okay."
He finally pulls out of her, "I'm running you a bath. And I will pick you up and drop you in it if I must."
"Drop me?!"
He shrugs, pulling his underwear on, "gently."
"Right," she sighs, "I'll take a bath. You don't have to force me."
"Great. Hey, can you do me a favor while I'm doing that?"
Her head cocks in intrigue.
"Mind reading the editing notes I just left in here," he places his hand on top of the manuscript, "it's only a handful of pages so far. Let me know if this guy is going to think I'm an asshole or not?"
"I would love to," she smiles wide, moving from the desk to the chair to read.
"Thank you," he kisses her head and heads out of the room.
He walks down the hall to their bedroom, and to the bathroom where he starts the tub. He really only asked her to stay behind and read his editing notes, so that he could have time to make this extra special for her. Adding bubbles, Epsom salts, and the body oil that smells like flowers that she loves so much - even though it will make him smell like it for the rest of the day, since he plans to get in too. It's an easy sacrifice to be in her company. He runs the jets and looks over the welcoming bubbling water, thinking it is going to suck to lose this bath tub when it's time to move to a bigger place (but nothing else about it will be bad). He turns and walks out to the kitchen, expeditiously putting together a plate of fruit, candied walnuts (the only way he knows he can get her to eat them), and pieces of dark chocolate. After filling a cup with lemonade, he made the day before, he heads back to the bathroom to find her nude and getting in the tub. She turns to him with a delighted smile.
"Is that for me?"
"Yes ma'am," he confirms, setting them carefully down on the side of the tub, "anything else you want?"
She slowly sits in the steaming water with a relaxed sigh. She looks up at him under her lashes.
"Only for you to join me."
"That was happening anyway," he assures with a grin, "anything from the kitchen I mean? Are you hungry for real food?"
She shakes her head, "nope, your sneakily healthy snacks are perfect. Get in here."
He gives her a clever smile before stripping and joining her.
"This feels amazing, thank you. Did you put the body oil in here?"
"Sure did. We will smell like a bouquet of flowers together for the rest of the day."
She giggles and reaches over for a handful of walnuts.
"And our skin will be so soft too!"
"There is that," he nods, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing the side of her head, "what did you think of my editing notes?"
She frowns, "Um, you were a little harsh."
To her surprise, he smiles, "good. That means maybe he'll listen this time."
"You basically told him to change the entire plot!"
"Brothers fighting over the same woman is a tired concept. He told me this would be original. I wouldn't have a problem if it was actually written well, but on top of his crappy plot he seems to only know four adjectives."
She listens to him with a tiny smile of love on her face; she always enjoys hearing him talk about work, especially when he gets worked up.
"It was kinda weird that he devoted four whole pages to describing their body types."
"Kinda is not the right word."
"Why did you agree to publish then if you don't like it? And why are you stuck with editing it?"
Jess groans, "because, I'm an idiot."
She laughs.
"What happened?"
"This guy was at one of the book events, in upstate New York. I was signing his book, and he asked about my wife, because, as you know, I wore a wedding ring to keep weirdos away."
She bites her bottom lip to curb her growing, pleased smile. She nods.
"I told him about you, and he knew who you were. He said he loved your articles, and he has family in Ukraine and so he really appreciated your honest updates and the piece you wrote in December especially."
"Oh wow, that's so nice."
"It was. He charmed me, for lack of a better word," he mumbles, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling, "and then he mentions that he has a manuscript he would love for me to read and publish. I figured he's smart enough to like and appreciate your work, and mine - he's probably a decent writer."
"But I guess that's not the case?"
"Nope. Definitely not the case. I already read through it once last month and sent it back to him with tons of constructive criticism. This time I need to be a dick about it. Or maybe I'll just burn it in our fireplace and ignore his calls."
"Jess!" she laughs in amusement, "you can't do that. I'm sure he has an electronic copy anyway. He'll just keep printing them for you."
"Damnit," he mutters, "if he hadn't mentioned you…I wouldn't be in this position."
"Aww, poor baby," she pouts and then smiles brightly, "so, I have a fan. What does he look like?"
"We have a fan. And he looks like he should be good at writing books but he's an imposter."
"And how exactly does someone look that way?"
He shrugs slightly, "can't really explain it."
She makes a face, but then smiles, "we have a fan. Cool!"
"I'm not sure he's very cool."
"But he likes us both. That's cool," she enthuses, then with a thoughtful look she asks, "do you think we'll ever create something together?"
His eyes burn through her with an intense heat at her question. He looks her over; landing his gaze towards the lower half of her body under the water. All playfulness escapes her momentarily, as his eyes meet hers again with consuming honesty.
"We're working on that now," he murmurs in response. It's not what she meant, but his fierce yet soft energy leaves her speechless. Suddenly his look softens, and he turns to get her a piece of chocolate.
"We will really take a break now, okay?" he insists, pushing the small, sugary chunk into her mouth, "I'm putting us on a celibacy hiatus. For at least four days."
"Really? You think you can control yourself?" she asks, eyebrow raised high in challenge as she chews her treat.
"I can if I see you wincing when you sit down. Or walking a little funny," he matches her look, "it will be no issue."
"If you say so," she mumbles with a shrug of her shoulder, "though it probably is a good idea. I'll be back in the office again tomorrow, it could be awkward if I'm walking around funny. Everyone knows I don't work out."
He chuckles and picks up a strawberry, holding it up to her mouth until she bites it.
"Speaking of that," he mumbles, turning slightly in the tub to look at her better, "does…anyone else know? About what we're trying to do?"
She swallows the fruit and gives a gentle shake of her head.
"Not really. The pregnant lady I interviewed in December does," she shrugs, and then adds on with a cringe, "oh, and I guess Lane. I kinda called her in a bit of a panic that day when we found out about the book being in the top ten. I just…needed a sounding board. I'm sorry."
He tilts his head, brows furrowed and eyes soft, "why are you sorry? It's your body, Rory. You can tell whoever you want. I expected you to say you told Lorelai and Paris, at least."
She shakes her head.
"It's not just me involved, Jess. This is something between us. It's special. I don't really…want to let other people in on it. Not yet, anyway."
His face relaxes and his smile is sweet for her.
"Okay. It's between us."
She inspects him, "did you want to tell someone? I don't want to stop you, if that's something that would make you happy to do."
"Nope," he quickly refutes, "I was more asking in case Matt or Chris mention it. They still have a habit after, god, almost twenty years, of trying to talk to me about my personal life. But if you wanted people to know, I would tell them. If asked."
He holds another strawberry to her mouth, her hands being under water; her lips lift in an adoring smile, and she takes a bite. She chews it while thinking over his words.
"Not yet," she finally states, voice more resolute than she expected. He flashes her a genuine grin of understanding and kisses her head again.
"Tell me about this app."
"Oh, I read about it in a book," she explains, looking around the room for her phone, "I guess I left my phone in the office, I'll show you when we get out. It helps us track my cycle. I don't expect you to really use it, I know how much apps annoy you, but I'm still going to download it on your phone for you."
He smirks, "you read about a phone app in a book? Was Virginia Woolf more ahead of her time than I remember?"
She shoots him a playful look of annoyance; he feeds her a piece of chocolate.
"No, I bought some books. Before I met you at the train station last month. That's why I was almost late…I passed a Barnes and Noble on the way to pick up the Bukowski letter from Bauman's and couldn't help myself."
"I am very interested in hearing more about this story."
"There's really not much more to it," she shrugs, "I went in and asked for help and got some books."
His smirk lifts higher, "you asked someone for…what kind of books? Tell me more."
"You just want to make fun of me!"
"Never," he scoffs, "I never want to make fun of you. I just enjoy picturing you out in the world, doing things without me. Like asking an employee at a book store for help finding books on, let's see, how to get pregnant I assume? Please tell me every word that you said to them."
She huffs but of course gives in.
"I went in and asked where I could find books on women's health."
"Uh huh, nice and vague, that's what I expected," he nods with an amused look, "and then what?"
"It's not that vague!"
"At a book store that big, it's pretty vague Rory."
"Ugh, anyway. She asked me what subject and I said family planning. Like, pregnancy books."
"Wow," his mouth is so wide she thinks his face is going to crack open, "so actually, it's the lady in Ukraine, Lane, and this Barnes and Noble employee that know you're trying to have a baby. That's a lot of people. Three's a crowd, you know."
"You are impossible, do you know that?"
"I do. I also know that you love it."
She rolls her eyes but with an introspective look she turns serious.
"You were really nice to me that day."
His eyebrow raises, "am I usually a jerk?"
"I'm serious, Jess," she presses, "you handled an embarrassing situation for me with so much care and delicacy. You've done it in the past too. It means a lot to me."
He is touched, eyes soft and listening to her words.
"And that's just one of the many reasons I know you're going to be an amazing dad," she places her hand on his face, "I was thinking it that day too, and it made me hope so hard to be able to make you one soon."
He doesn't know what to say to all of that, because it makes him feel so many things at once. Instead, he leans in and shows her how much it means to him with a devouring kiss. He pulls his mouth away but reaches into the bath to find her hips. He picks her up and moves her to his lap, where he holds her close and kisses her repeatedly. She rests her head next to his, gazing over at the snack plate.
"Darn now we both have wet hands."
"Shit, sorry," he chuckles, "I couldn't control myself."
That makes her smirk.
"You're definitely forgiven."
He kisses the back of her head, leaving his lips there in thought.
He mumbles against her,
"You were stressed about my fortieth birthday that day. But in reality you gave me the greatest gift you possibly could. And I'm not talking about the Bukowski letter."
Her heart flutters, but she teases, "that one was pretty good though, right?"
"That one was very cool," his lips move down to her ear, the hand that's not around her shoulders skims down her body under the water until it rests at the apex of her legs, "but this one Rory…it's a gift straight from my dreams."
"You excited to start at Temple soon?"
Jess stands in the store with Brandon, both of them stocking the shelves with new books that came in. He shrugs.
"I'm excited to finally get out of New York, at least for a little while."
"Philly is cool, and Temple is cool too. I took a few classes there years ago. You'll love it."
"It's going to be a little weird not working here anymore."
"You'll have Matt and Chris," Jess promises, and gives him a small smile, "but it's going to be weird without you here too."
"You and Rory better visit," he insists, then asks, "is she coming in a few weeks?"
"To help you move to Philly? No, sorry. But you'll have me and Liam."
"Oh, no. It's all good. I was just wondering if she would at least go along for the ride. I know how hard it is for you to separate from her on your days off."
Jess rolls his eyes as he breaks down a now empty box.
"I'm not attached at her hip, jeez," he tosses the cardboard on top of a pile of trash, "but maybe she will come for the ride, I didn't think about that. Just don't want her moving stuff."
"Why?" Brandon asks with a raised brow, "is she okay?"
Jess catches himself; unaware that he was the type of person to let details of something he's not supposed to talk about slip. The move is almost a month away, and he's not taking the chance that she'll be pregnant and not realize it yet.
"Yeah, she's okay. She just doesn't generally lift heavy things. She would be more of a liability than anything."
"Ha, I'm sure she would love to hear you say that," Brandon bends down to open another box, "she keeps your crankiness to a minimum though, so her presence would be greatly appreciated."
"Smart ass."
"As if you're not."
"I'll ask her. For your sanity."
"Appreciate that, boss."
"Won't be able to call me that for much longer," he clicks his tongue, "I rented a small U-Haul for you, supposed to be big enough for a studio apartment. That's enough space, right?"
"That's probably more than enough. I'm not even taking my bed."
"What about books?"
"True, I do have a lot of those. I'm sure it's big enough."
Jess nods and the two work quietly for some time. When he hears a loud engine go by the shop, something occurs to him.
"What's your transportation situation? You drive your brother's car here, I assume you're not taking that with you."
Brandon shrugs one shoulder, "I don't really have one. Just gonna travel by foot and public transport."
"You sure? Public transportation in Philly is nothing like it is here. It can be a pain in the ass to get from one part of the city to another."
"I don't really have a choice. My savings is going towards college and room and board."
"You should have taken us up on the offer to live above Truncheon."
"And lessen the opportunity of running into college girls? No thanks."
"Hey, Truncheon is hip. Plenty of college students shop there."
Brandon gives him a look of disbelief, "anyway, I'll figure it out."
Jess sighs, he stands up and crosses his arms over his chest, facing Brandon now.
"Ever driven a motorcycle?"
He shakes his head, "nope."
"Any interest in learning how to?"
He turns to him now, face full of curiosity.
"Maybe…why?"
Jess sighs again, kind of not believing that he's about to do this.
"I have a bike in Stars Hollow that's pretty much no use to me now. Do you want it? I won't charge you for it, but you do need to get a license."
His brows furrow hard, and his mouth gapes slightly open.
"You want to…give me a motorcycle?"
Jess simply nods.
"But…why? You could sell it. Don't you like to ride it when you visit there? Isn't that the reason it's at your Uncle's and not in New York?"
"Like I said," Jess nods his head forward, "it's really no use to me anymore. Do you want it?"
"You're serious?"
"I'm serious for about the next ten seconds, but then I'm taking it back. It should not take a twenty-one year old, that wants to impress college girls by the way, this long to accept a free motorcycle. I'm disappointed in you."
"Okay okay! Fuck, yes. I definitely want it. Thank you."
"Great," Jess nods and pats him on the arm, "Rory and I are going to Stars Hollow this weekend. I'm teaching my sister how to drive a car. Do you want to come with? I might as well be a driving instructor for the day. Much safer than trying to learn on these streets."
"Sure," he nods repeatedly, "I'm off this weekend and have no plans. This is awesome."
"Yeah, make sure you look into what you need to do to get a license in Pennsylvania. We'll pack it on the truck when you move."
Brandon smiles, possibly the widest Jess has ever seen, "this is crazy. You're crazy. But thank you, that's super cool of you."
"Yeah, yeah. I trust you won't kill yourself on it."
"I'll be careful."
They get back to working quietly, but Brandon can't help but ask one more time.
"Jess, why are you getting rid of it? Really? Did Rory ask you to or something?"
He makes a face, "do you think she's like that?"
"No, but it's just…an insane thing to give away for free. Trying to make sense of it."
Jess contemplates his answer, looking back at the book shelf.
"There's nothing to make sense of. It's just…time," he shrugs and turns back to Brandon with a small smirk, "it's a little reckless for a forty year old man, don't you think?"
Brandon chuckles, "I hear forty is the new twenty."
Jess scoffs, "who told you that? It's definitely not. Not physically, anyway. My workout recovery period is much longer than it used to be."
"I don't know," he laughs, "it just seemed like the right thing to say. You're giving me a motorcycle, I don't want to offend you."
Jess laughs too, but their conversation is broken up by the door to the shop swinging open and the sounds of a child wailing. They both turn sharply to the noise, and Liam walks by them holding his little brother's hand. Jess follows quickly behind.
"What happened? What do you need?"
"He ran the last block here and he tripped. Scraped up his knees," Liam responds, walking back to Jess's office, "he'll be okay. I've got him. I know where the first aid stuff is."
Jess nods and watches from the doorway, as Liam sits his brother on the desk.
"You're okay Con," Liam insists, gently squeezing his little hand, "and I bet Jess still has the Ninja Turtle band-aids you like."
Connor's sobs start to calm at that.
"I do, they should be next to the first aid kit."
Liam pulls open a cabinet, "got it. We're good if you need to go back up front and finish with Brandon."
"He's got it," Jess shrugs and walks into the office to face the young boy, "you okay? Why were you running here? Police after you?"
That makes Connor laugh, he wipes his face and looks back at Jess with big blue eyes.
"No, I wanted to see you and show you what Liam won me at Coney Island," he turns to his brother, "do you have it?"
"Yep, it's in my bag. But let me finish cleaning your knees."
Jess watches Liam's gentleness and care, admiring his relationship with a sibling so much younger that he only shares one parent with. It makes him think of himself, and he realizes that Rory was right: Liam is a lot like him.
"That's right, I forgot you guys went to Coney Island this weekend with your mom. Did you have fun?"
"Yes, we went on so many rides. I went on a really crazy roller coaster, and I only screamed once."
"He screamed more than once," Liam mutters, "but then he went on again."
Jess laughs, "that sounds cool. I'm glad you had fun."
"Yeah, it's a miracle those wristbands showed up in our mailbox," Liam's eyes shift from his brother's knees and over to Jess, "crazy world we live in."
Jess rubs a hand on the back of his neck, "yep, that is a miracle. The only thing I ever get in my mailbox is bills."
"Did you know that we can go as many times as we want? They said the wristbands are good for the whole summer!" Connor exclaims with a gleeful grin.
"No way! That's cool, maybe I can take you one day next month, before school starts again."
"You'll need a wristband."
Jess smirks, "not if I plan to just watch you guys make yourself dizzy on rides."
"All done," Liam pats Connor's leg and stands up. He turns to Jess, "you got it from here, Santa?"
Jess glares at him but nods. Liam opens his backpack and throws a stuffed Pikachu at Connor before heading out front.
"This is what he won me!"
"Cool, I know you love Pikachu. What game did he win?"
"He had to hit balloons with darts. He popped so many!"
Jess is taken by a sudden warm feeling of longing, as scenes from a dream he had on his birthday years ago are recalled by Connor's words. He swallows and smiles at the little boy. He nudges his shoulder kindly.
"Pretty nice brother you got there."
He shrugs, "he annoys me sometimes."
His words successfully pull Jess completely back to the present. He laughs quietly.
"I'm sure you annoy him too. That's how siblings work. Trust me, I know. I have a little sister who drives me nuts."
"Why'd he call you Santa?"
"To annoy me," Jess replies knowingly, "see? You're not the only one."
"One time my mom said he only annoys people he loves."
Jess smiles softly, "she's right."
"I think he's my best friend. Well, him and my friend Nick. Nick goes to my school, and he lives in my neighborhood. I like to go to the park with him and ride bikes sometimes. But Liam can still be my best friend too, right?"
Jess thinks over his words, and something tugs in his mind about conversations he has had with Rory about children. But Connor is looking back at him, so he taps him on the leg.
"Of course, you can have more than one," he assures him with a grin, and then promises, "and I bet you're Liam's best friend too, buddy."
He returns home that evening, a little later than usual as he decided to give the boys a ride home. From what he has gathered from conversations since that day they went on the boat, their mom has been putting in a bit more effort. He likes to drive them home every now and again, hoping to see her waiting at the door for them to return. He hasn't yet, but he will keep trying.
He walks into the apartment, dropping his things in the office, before wandering around to look for Rory. She's not there, even though she was supposed to be home before him. He sends her a quick message to see if she's okay, and then gets started on dinner. As he's searing cod to make fish tacos, he hears the front door open. He wipes his hands and starts to walk to meet her, but she soon kicks the kitchen door in. He surveys her in disbelief, as she walks in with a huge carton of eggs, a bag full of peaches and a basket of blueberries.
"Hi," she breathes out with a smile, "I went to a farm for work today. And they gave me all this stuff!"
He shakes off his confusion, and quickly steps up to take the items from her hands.
"Guess it was a good first day with local news then?" his smile is hopeful, because he has a secret concern about her regretting making that change.
"It was great," she affirms, taking a seat at the small table in their kitchen, "it was so fun! I haven't reported on something so fun since…they sent me to Japan during the Olympics. And even then, I was reporting on environmental impact! I got to talk to a local farm today about their community initiatives. I spent the day with the two guys that own it, they've been married for ten years, and they both grew up on family farms. They decided to start their own together, before they even got married, isn't that cute? I love when couples inspire each other's work, like you and me. And we had a very long side tangent about Britney Spears and all of her struggles. We are going to reconnect after we read her memoir that's coming out this fall. It was such a fun day!"
He takes a steadying breath as her joyful energy fills the room around him. It is a huge relief to him to hear how much she still loves her job. Though it's only the first day and he's sure there will still be hard days, it makes him feel even better about the decision she has made. His face conveys captivated attention, and Rory begins to blush under this focus.
"Sorry, that was a lot of rambling. I had a lot of fun. Anyway, they wanted to give me more stuff and I told them it's just the two of us, and also that I can't cook or bake or anything. They made me take the eggs and peaches and blueberries and promise them that I would attempt to make a pie with you. So…will you do that with me?"
He steps forward and kisses her hard, once, on the mouth.
"Your rambling is always welcome," he promises with a grin, then he turns back to the stove where the fish is starting to brown, "and of course, if you want to. I've had some practice over the years now making you desserts. I think we can handle it."
"Really?" she asks with an animated grin, "you're going to teach me how to bake something? You're not afraid I will burn the place down?"
"I'll be supervising, and probably doing most of the work. I'm not worried."
Rory's energy calms slightly, and she shyly moves a piece of hair behind her ear.
"I'm kind of excited. Also, I don't know how many eggs it takes to make a pie, but I'm guessing not three dozen. I was thinking maybe you can show me how to make some other stuff too? Nothing too crazy, maybe scrambled eggs, yours are always so perfectly soft but not too soft. I would like to learn. And maybe a basic cake from scratch?"
His lips are turned up in an amused but confused smile.
"Sure, I thought you didn't want to learn to cook or bake anything. But I would be happy to guide you."
She shrugs, "I just feel like I should know a couple of things. So if breakfast is ever in my hands, I have the ability to make something more nutritious than a pop tart."
His face softens in understanding, he steps away from the stove to kiss her on the head and rub her shoulder.
"Of course I'll show you. I'm not sure there will ever be a situation where you will have to do that, but I'm happy to teach you."
"Thank you," she murmurs, "you never know. You could…want to sleep in some mornings or be sick. Or what if it's your birthday and our…kid asks me if we can make you breakfast? They would be so unimpressed by my toaster capabilities."
His heart floods with warmth, he kisses her on the head again.
"I think they will be impressed by everything you do. I know I am."
He kisses her once more and turns back to the stove to finish dinner. She smiles at his back in appreciation.
She sighs and asks, "so, fish again?"
"What do you mean again?"
"Well, we had it last week. And now this week again. Fish definitely did not used to be a weekly meal for us. Did we win the lottery?"
Jess chuckles and shakes his head. He turns to her and runs his hand through his hair and the back of his neck, in a sort of bashful way.
"You've caught me."
She raises her eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.
"You need omega-3s."
"I do?" she questions, but her mouth has curled into a pleased smile.
"Yep."
"Uh huh. And how do you know what I need?"
They stare at each other for a few quiet seconds, before he sighs and playfully rolls his eyes.
"You're still going to make me say it out loud after all these years?! Fine, I looked it up."
Her mouth is a shining full grin; white teeth bared to him and cheeks up high.
"Yes you did! What else did you look up?"
"Excuse me, I need to finish making these fish tacos."
She laughs and her smile relaxes, "okay, I'll stop needling you since you've managed to combine a healthy food with a greasy one for me."
"I would not expect you to eat a plain piece of fish and vegetables. I know you better than that."
Her smile is a sentimental one now, "yes. You do."
...
"I mean, it's edible."
Jess makes this statement later that night. He and Rory stand in front of the stove, staring at something that sort of resembles the dessert they wanted to make.
"It's kinda like…peach cobbler maybe?" she turns to him with a hopeful look. He holds back his chuckle and nods, giving her a smile of reassurance.
"It could totally pass for peach cobbler, yes," he kisses the side of her face, "great job baby."
She grins and turns back to the pie shaped food, "yeah. We just…won't eat the sort of raw crust."
"Or the charred pieces on the top."
"Right," she turns to him with a funny look, "come to think of it, I don't know if I like peach desserts. Maybe we should have made blueberry."
"You're not going to try your own pie?"
"Cobbler."
"Sorry, cobbler."
"I'm afraid."
"Why?"
"I don't know how to bake," she shakes her head and frowns, "why did I think I could bake? There's no way this tastes good."
"Rory," he laughs quietly, "I watched you make it. I helped you. It can't be that bad. Let's try it, come on."
She makes a face and then sighs.
"Fine, I'm making coffee though. I won't try it without something to cleanse my palate."
"I can give you something to cleanse your palate," he winks at her, grabbing a knife from nearby to cut into the dessert.
"No, you can't," she shoots him a taunting look, "you said no sex. Remember?"
"Hmm, does that really count as sex though?"
"Would you be able to stop yourself from turning it into sex?" she inquires smartly, starting the coffee pot.
"You got me," he concedes, putting their food on plates, "how much coffee did you drink today? Ballpark estimate. More than 200 milligrams you think?"
She crosses her arms over her chest and gives him an offended look.
"Oh, we are not doing that."
He turns to her, taking in her attitude.
"I'm just asking-"
"No no no no. No. Just, no. I will let you feed me fish, and remind me to take my vitamins every day, and try to sneak new vegetables into my food-"
"You've had kale before!"
"Not in my tacos," she argues sternly, pouring herself a mug of coffee, "you absolutely cannot police my coffee intake. Not when I'm not even pregnant yet."
He looks her over, scrutinizing to see if she's just being cute or not. He finds that she's not.
"Okay. Fine," he huffs, "but I'm just saying, they recommend no more than-"
"Ah! No. 'They' don't know anything about the Gilmore body, okay? Coffee is basically water to us. If you cut it down, we will dehydrate and die."
"As soon as you're pregnant though," he begins in response, handing her a plate of the peach dessert, "I will be 'policing' your coffee intake. Sorry."
She rolls her eyes and takes a seat at the table with her fresh mug and plate of food. He sits across from her, giving her a hard look.
"Fine!" she sighs, "it won't be necessary though. I'm not that self-destructive. I watched my coffee intake last time I was pregnant."
He smiles softly and nods in understanding. At the same time, they put forkfuls of dessert in their mouths. Watching each other for honest expressions, and Jess is pleased to see Rory grinning.
"Hey this is pretty good! It's not pie, but it's good."
"I told you."
"Do you think Luke would be impressed? Can we bring the rest to Stars Hollow this weekend? Or make another one?"
He gives her an adoring smile at the optimistic look of surprise on her face.
"I'm not sure this will be good for that long, but that's okay because we can make another. It's good to have practice."
"Okay! What day should we make it? I want to put it in my calendar so I can come home from work a little early that day."
His wide smile softens to something tender as he thinks about those words.
"Whatever day you want," he mumbles. She looks over at him, his look causing hers to soften too.
"It's nice, isn't it?" she asks rhetorically, "to be able to make plans whenever we want now. Because I'm always nearby."
He pauses before replying, because he doesn't want to say anything that makes her feel guilty about the years past; he confesses anyway,
"Nicer than I imagined."
"Don't be afraid to say that."
He gives her a guilty look.
"Your support now is just as important and meaningful to me as your support when I traveled for work," she assures him, reaching across the table to hold his hand, "I feel really good about what we are doing. And really good about making this change with my work. I need to hear that you feel good about it too. So don't be afraid to tell me."
He sits with her words, understanding washing over him. All of the things he has been careful about saying are what she wants to hear, not because she thinks she made a mistake, but because she doesn't want him to think she did. She wants to make sure they are on the same page, and he knows how to make her believe that. Instead of giving her literal words of comfort and reassurance, he says,
"I'm giving Brandon my motorcycle."
His eyes stay locked on hers, as she computes his seemingly random words. But with a blink and a soft smile, he sees that she understands completely.
"Really? Does he know how to drive one?"
"I'm going to teach him. He's coming with us to Stars Hollow this weekend so I can teach him in a safer place."
"Wow, him and Doula in one weekend? You're a whole driving school, Mariano. That's so generous of you."
"I know, though I may pay the price with my sanity. No good deed goes unpunished, so they say."
"I'm sure the reward will be worth it," she gives him a reassuring grin. He nods with a half smirk.
"It absolutely will," he murmurs, and with a pensive look explains, "having access to something like that brought me consolation when I needed it. But now…thinking about getting on it doesn't seem worth it."
Her eyes roam over his face, "you don't have to give it up for me, you know. I trust you."
"I trust me too," he replies with a tick of an eyebrow, "I don't trust other drivers. It doesn't…interest me the way it used to. I'm interested in other things now. More important things, that require me to be more…mindful about my choices."
She takes a sip of her coffee, gulping hard; her affected blue stare hooked onto his promising goldish gaze. He puts down the fork in his hand and increases his intent look.
"And I think we should get a new car. Something…bigger and more reliable."
He watches as she takes a deep breath, nodding slowly in response.
He swallows, and asks quietly, "Am I overwhelming you?"
Her eyes widen slightly more, front teeth peeking out as they press against her bottom lip in thought. She shakes her head.
"Not in a bad way."
"You can tell me if I am. I never want to push you."
"You're not," she shakes her head again, "I just…have been nervous or scared, I think, to start thinking about the logistics. Too soon. You know what I mean?"
His eyes narrow in understanding, he holds on to her hand on top of the table a little harder. Her eyes shift from his to their hands; he waits until she meets his look again. His lips gently upturn as he repeats her words back to her.
"Don't be afraid."