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Rated M Scene Ahead!
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"What do I need to do to get pregnant?"
Her question is abrupt, as she sits at a nice lunch with Paris at a restaurant near her office; they had just been talking about the twenty year Chilton reunion they received invitations to. But this question has been bubbling up like a powerful potion in her stomach since she sat down with her friend.
Not one to be rattled, Paris replies easily, before putting a forkful of perfectly cooked salmon in her mouth,
"I know Chilton's sex education was lacking, but I do remember them teaching us the basics."
Rory glares at her and places her own fork of pasta down onto her bowl.
"You know what I mean."
"No, I do not. Because if you're actually asking me for strategies on how to get pregnant, then I should have already known you were trying in the first place. So why is this the first I'm hearing about it?" Paris barks back, fixing her with a raised eyebrow and hard frown. Rory rolls her eyes.
"I'm so sorry for telling the man I'm trying to have a baby with before you. It was an honest mistake."
"Uh huh," Paris spears zucchini on her plate, "and how long have I been in the dark?"
Rory shrugs one shoulder and looks upwards in thought.
"Well, I've known that I want to have a baby since last winter. But, the timing wasn't right with our jobs until more recently. I stopped taking birth control in June and told him in July when I got back from Europe. So…a month?"
Paris scrutinizes her, dropping her fork on her plate.
"You're kidding. You've only been trying for a month, and you're already asking me for help?"
Rory's look is vexed, and her cheeks lightly tint as she replies, "well, yeah. Isn't that kind of…your thing? Getting women pregnant?"
"Yes," she nods, "for people that have been trying for a long time unsuccessfully. Or, that don't want to put their body through childbirth and instead want a surrogate to do it."
Rory's shoulders slump slightly, "what do you mean?"
"Rory," Paris asserts, "it's me! You know me, you know who I am, and you know how I am. Do you really want me involved in this situation already?"
"Paris, you're one of my best friends. What does that mean?"
"That's all very Ya-Ya Sisterhood, but you do not want me involved yet, Rory. I promise you. And even if you do, Jess definitely does not."
She frowns, shoulders slumping further. Paris sighs and speaks even more frankly to get her to understand.
"I'm invasive, I'm intrusive. Some may even say I'm obnoxious," Paris explains, "and I am all of these things, proudly. Don't get me wrong. But, being that you're my best friend, I am telling you that you do not want the pressure of Dr. Paris Geller breathing down your neck until it is absolutely necessary. Especially you Rory, because I will take it on as if it's a CIA mission. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Rory's eyes widen at her words, but she knows her friend is right. She nods slowly and moves a piece of hair behind her ear.
"I just…want it to happen. I got my period recently, and Jess was a good sport about it of course. And I understand it doesn't happen for most people right away, but honestly it felt like a dagger to me. I mean…we've had sex a lot of times since I've been home. A lot," she whispers the last words, mindful of the dining room they're in. Paris looks her over with her intense gaze, and then sighs.
"Listen to me," her usually aggressive friend says these words with a borderline kind look, "I'm going to give you advice, and I'm giving you this advice because you're my friend. And you're not paying me a fortune for a guaranteed baby. Not yet anyway…"
Rory's eyes narrow, "is the advice coming?"
"Let this be fun, for at least the first few months. If it gets to four months and you're still struggling, call me."
Rory bites her lip, chewing on her words. She shrugs.
"It's not, not fun. It's just also stressful."
"Because you're making it stressful."
"I don't think I am…"
"Rory," Paris scoffs, "you're coming to me for help after one month of trying! Sorry, did you want to be in a throuple with me, you and Jess? Because I will watch to make sure he's doing everything right, if that's what you want me to do."
"God, Paris! No!"
"Okay, well," Paris throws her hands up, "that's what I'm saying. There is no need to get anyone else involved yet. Have fun! Enjoy each other's bodies, enjoy finding new positions to get that sperm as deep as you can. Have so much sex without worrying if you're doing it at the right time. I bet you have an app and a basal thermometer, don't you?"
Rory blushes, at all of her words, and admits in a mutter, "maybe."
"Delete the app. Lock the thermometer up."
"That seems counterintuitive."
"Rory," Paris leans in closer to her, "I have seen relationships destroyed by this stuff. I have had studies conducted, and have analyzed the results myself, that prove that stress can put you more at risk for pregnancy loss. Don't put pressure on this. Not unless it's necessary."
"This is…so unlike you. You're usually so…scientific. I expected you to tell me exactly what days and exactly what ways to make this happen."
"You and Jess are in love. And while I don't remember the meaning of the word," she grumbles with an eye roll, "I know that it is cosmically strong between the two of you. I don't want to see that ruined. Making a baby should be fun for people like you. Just lots of rolling around in the sheets, not worrying about what your body is or isn't doing inside. Maybe Jess can worry about doing his part, but that's on him. Just…enjoy all of the love he wants to give you. He is not the type to ever make you feel bad about something outside of your control. So, listen to me. Have fun."
Rory takes a deep breath and considers her words. She eventually gives Paris a small smile.
"Okay. I'm going to listen to you. I'll delete the app off my phone right in front of you," she picks up her phone and does show, earning her a nod of approval from Paris.
"But can I ask you another question?"
"That was a question."
Rory rolls her eyes.
"I got my period a day early in June, when I was still on birth control. Is that anything to worry about?"
Paris practically glares at her.
"A day, Rory? No. A day early is not anything. Now, five days early I might want to talk more. But don't waste my time with a day."
Rory sighs.
"Okay. What about prenatal vitamins? I've been taking them since December. Should I stop?"
Paris gives her a look of annoyed disbelief.
"No, that would be dumb. Why would you stop doing that? What are you taking? Show me."
"I thought you didn't want to get involved!" Rory exclaims, holding her purse close to her chest. Paris holds her hand out with an eyebrow raised.
"This is something that I can mandate now. Let me see."
Rory sighs again and fishes them out of her bag, handing the gummies over. Immediately, her friend's face screws up in disgust.
"This is basically candy, Gilmore! Why are you taking this crap?"
"I don't know, it looked good! I love candy."
Paris huffs, "where'd you get this? Duane Reade?"
Rory squirms, "maybe."
"Jesus," Paris mutters and pulls her bag off the back of her chair, "it's a good thing I have my computer with me. What pharmacy do you use? I'm sending a proper prenatal there for you."
Rory gives her a look, and then smiles wide.
"Now this is the Paris I know. I like the CVS on 7th Ave. Gives me a reason to go for a little walk while I'm at work."
"Great, whatever. I'm sending it now, please pick it up on your way home I'm sure it will be ready," she slams her laptop shut and puts it back in the bag. As the waiter comes by, she grabs him and hands him the gummies.
"Throw this garbage out for us, will you? Thanks."
"Jeez, how can any vitamin be that bad?" Rory questions, returning to her bowl of pasta.
"You'd be surprised," Paris mumbles over her glass of iced tea, "by the way, how much of your diet is carbs? What proteins do you eat? Have your doctors ever mentioned an iron-deficiency in your bloodwork? You've always looked a little pale and cold to me. You know what, what are you doing now? You should come by my office and get some fresh bloodwork done."
Rory's head spins in a circle as Paris goes off, and finally she holds her hand up.
"Stop! You said no stress. This is stressful. I am now stressed!"
Paris glares at her, but then Rory notices she starts to smirk. Her jaw drops.
"Was that a test to see if I would let you take over my life?"
"Yes, and I'm proud to say you passed. Good work, Gilmore."
"Thank you Sensei," she mumbles, pushing her plate of food away.
The waiter comes by again, and Rory orders a coffee.
"Serious question, how much coffee are you drinking regularly?"
Rory's eyebrow lifts, "I'm not answering that. It's a trick."
"No, this I really want to know."
"Well, if that's genuine, I genuinely don't want to tell you. Because I'm sure whatever advice you will give me about drinking it will stress me out."
Paris sighs and sits back in her chair, "Fine. So, you'll go to the reunion with me right?"
"If I must," Rory acquiesces, sipping her coffee that was just dropped off, "when is it again?"
"October 7th."
"Ugh, right. The day before my freaking birthday. What a nice gift you're forcing me into."
"Hey, maybe you'll win a bunch of money. It's casino themed. Think we should learn to count cards before then?"
"You want to pull a heist on Chilton?"
Paris waves her hand, "it's nothing. I give them plenty of money every year. They can give us a little something back."
"Hm, no thanks. Being arrested once was enough."
"Oh, that's right, I forgot you have a record," Paris nods, then gives her an inquisitive look, "you think Jess would do it with me?"
"Wait, is he supposed to come?"
"Yes! God, did you listen to a word I said before you word vomited about getting pregnant?! Spouses are invited."
"I heard that, but he's not legally my spouse! I didn't know if he counted."
"Please, I'm sure you two are closer to married than ninety percent of the miserable couples at this event that most likely married each other to combine generational wealth. Nothing romantic about being shackled by a prenup."
She laughs and shrugs, "okay, well I'll ask him. About coming, I mean. Not about counting cards. I don't really want him to get arrested either."
"Jesus Rory don't be such a Mary! The government does not give a damn about a bunch of wealthy idiots gambling at their old high school. You'd sooner get arrested for the length of that dress you're wearing."
"What?!" Rory looks herself up and down, "what's wrong with my dress?"
"Nothing, if you've become a woman of the cloth," Paris murmurs, looking at where it hits on her ankles, "please tell me you'll change into something sexier before Jess gets home from work? He'll never be able to get his sperm in the right spot if he can't even navigate the tent that is your dress."
"Oh my god!" Rory groans, "between you and my mother, you would think I walk around looking like a nun!"
"If the shoe fits."
"Well, this has been fun," Rory opens her wallet and hands Paris cash for the bill. She shakes her head and takes out her card.
"No, no, no. This is a business lunch. I'll expense it."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm my own boss, Rory," she shoots her a look, "of course I'm sure. And I don't want your money. You might need that for your little family."
"That felt condescending, but alright. Thanks."
"Any time. And if in a few months you do end up needing my help, don't worry. There will be plenty of free lunches in it for you."
"Wow, you really are the best in the country."
"Oh, don't flatter me, Gilmore. I will still force you to reduce your coffee intake if it comes down to it."
"Rats."
As she walks down the street from the pharmacy, with her 'proper' prenatal vitamins in hand, she gets a phone call. She sticks her hand in her purse, feeling around for it, because even though her dress is a 'tent' as Paris called it, it doesn't have any pockets. She manages to get it out and sees that it's Jess calling her, and she smiles.
"Hey you."
"Hey," he replies, and the tone of his voice is not his usual flirty sound, "I need to ask you a huge favor, and I'm sorry I have to at all."
She stops and stands against a wall of a shop, out of the way of sidewalk traffic.
"Don't be sorry, what do you need?"
"Brooke was supposed to start her shift at noon, but she had to call out sick. I've been calling around to see if someone can come in and cover her and haven't had any luck. I have someone coming in for a meeting with me, and normally I would just put a sign on the door and close the shop but I'm waiting for a shipment to come in -."
"Jess," she stops him, "you're rambling. Do you need me to work at Truncheon for the afternoon?"
He sighs, "I hate to ask you because I know you were looking forward to working a half day."
"I'm happy to help," she insists, looking around for the nearest subway entrance and walking towards it, "I'm in midtown right now, but I'm running to the subway station, and I should be there within the next half hour."
"Running?"
She laughs, "speed walking."
"Thank you so much, Rory. As soon as my meeting is over, you can go home."
"I'll stay as long as you need me. See you soon."
"Thank you. I'm going to get you any dessert you want in the state of New York tonight."
"Well, that's more than a fair trade," she giggles, "I'm about to get on the train."
"Okay. Be safe. Thank you. Bye."
She stands behind the register an hour later, head bent down as she flips through pages of Chris's new and soon to be released poetry book. The poems are a different vibe from what she's read of his in the past. She can clearly see the deep impact that becoming a father has had on him through this work, and it makes her smile. She wonders how becoming a father will affect Jess's writing one day, because she's sure that it will. But she feels an ache of longing throughout her too, since she has no idea when that will actually be.
She looks up from the book as she hears Jess come out of his office with the writer he was meeting with. They say their goodbyes and then Jess walks back from the door towards the register.
"You're a lifesaver," he declares, stepping up next to her and putting his arm around her. His eyes move down to the desk, and he smirks, "you're also a thief."
She laughs, "your shipment came in, by the way."
"Yes, I see that," he teases, looking back up at her, "what do you think?"
She grins warmly.
"It's beautiful. I love the one about, at least I think it's about, Chloe being half of his heart and half of Mabel's, and together she is this whole creation of their love for each other. And even though she's made up of both of them, she's a heart that 'beats to her own rhythm'."
Jess smiles, his eyes brightening as he visualizes that poem in his own mind.
"I like that one a lot too," he murmurs, and then half smiles, "I think the whole thing is going to be a great seller."
"Absolutely. It's so different from anything he's done before, that he'll have both old and new readers picking it up," she agrees with a confident nod. He grins and pulls her closer to kiss her on the head. The bell at the door rings, and Rory looks up to greet the customer.
"You deserve employee of the month," Jess whispers to her with a wink.
"That would be rude to all of your other employees, who have given more than a couple hours of their life to this job."
"Well, I guess I am biased."
"Just a little."
"Excuse me," a man's voice breaks up their conversation, and they both turn to help the customer in front of them. She feels Jess's arm drop from around her body and she stands up straighter, assuming he is trying to be more professional.
"My daughter asked for a signed copy of a book called The Subsect for her birthday," the man explains, and as he speaks she can feel Jess tense up next to her, "her mother told me I could get that here. Can you tell me where I can find it?"
Rory turns to Jess, thinking that he might want to answer that question. But when she looks at him, she is taken aback. All color has left his face, and his eyes are trained intensely on the man in front of them; as she looks him over, she sees that his hands are clasped tightly behind his back, his fingernails digging in to his skin.
"Hello?" the man looks between them, and Rory decides to take the reins. She turns back to him with a friendly smile.
"Sorry, just had a moment. Um, I'll grab one for you. Be right back."
As she walks away, Jess leaves the desk, and she watches him walk back to his office and slam the door shut. The sound of it makes her jump slightly, and she's now full of concern for him. She hurriedly finds a copy of the book and checks the man out at the register. When he's gone, she locks the door and puts up a closed sign, and jogs to his office.
She knocks on the door before pushing it open. On the other side, she finds Jess slumped over his desk with his head in his hands. She wants to ask him a dozen questions, but she knows he's the kind of person that needs a little time to share. Instead, she pulls up a chair next to him and leans over to wrap her arms around his middle. His body fills with a deep breath, his ribs expanding against her arms. On its exhale, he moves a hand from his face and places it on her arm in a gesture of gratitude. She gives him a couple more silent minutes, before she finally asks,
"Are you okay?"
"I will be," he replies after a beat, words muffled against the hand that's still on his face. She squeezes him to show her support, and he finally turns his head towards her. Thankfully, the color is back in his face, but his eyes still look a little spooked.
"Sorry," he mumbles, "first you had to help run the store on your half-day-off and now you have to baby me."
Her face twists in concern.
"It's not babying you. I'm here for you, and I'm so glad I am. You clearly just went through something, I saw the look on your face. Who was that man?"
Her eyes shoot to his neck as he gulps hard before responding.
"He was…one of my mother's lovely ex-boyfriends. I recognize him and his voice, even without the slurring and bloodshot eyes."
She gasps in surprise at this revelation, hand shooting to her chest.
"Jess…" she whispers, eyes looking all over him, "did he…hurt you?"
He immediately averts his gaze from hers, focused now on the desk in front of him.
"It doesn't matter," he mumbles.
These words send an agonizing stab through her, because she knows what they mean. She takes a breath, gathering her strength for him, and places a gentle hand on his face to turn it back towards her.
"Of course it matters," she states, voice fierce despite the mayhem her imagination is casting on her as it plays scenes of him as a little boy in her mind, "he hurt you, didn't he? He hurt you when you were a kid, and he has absolutely no idea who you are now. That is so…cruel, Jess. I'm so so sorry."
His look is troubled as he shrugs and says after a pensive moment, "that's life. People get to hurt other people and walk around with no one knowing. Not even themselves sometimes."
She swallows hard to keep her emotions down and opens her arms to him again. His face softens slightly, and he gives her a sad smile as he leans in to accept her embrace.
"It's ridiculously unfair. I wish I had known, I wouldn't have helped him."
She feels a rumble against her chest, like he tried to laugh but can't quite get it out.
"At least I got some money out of him, I guess. Not like I would ever have gotten anything else."
She breathes in deeply and holds him tighter as she exhales. He nuzzles his face into her hair and neck; she moves a hand up from his back to hold his head.
"You deserved so much better. And you don't deserve to be blindsided by the appearance of someone that caused you physical harm," she says quietly in his ear, "and god, he said he has a daughter. I hope she's okay."
"He looks and sounds like he got clean. So hopefully that made a difference," he replies, pulling back from their embrace. He meets her eyes, and her chest settles a little bit as she sees they look much calmer now.
"You deserved better."
His mouth folds into a muted smile.
"I did," he agrees, and moves his hand to take one of hers, "but I have a good life now. And an amazing person by my side for when those shitty people rattle me," he lifts her hand and kisses it, "and I'm not going to spend too many moments in this good part of my life thinking about the bad. I'm okay. Seeing him shook me up, but…you've helped me stabilize. Thank you for being here."
Her features melt at his words, though her eyes still hold sadness.
"I'm glad I was here for this," she replies earnestly, "but it's okay if you're not okay, Jess."
"I am. I really am," he promises with a squeeze of her hand, "tell me what you had originally planned to do with the rest of your day?"
She looks him over once more for anything troubling before she responds.
"Well, I was going to clean and organize my closet, do laundry, reorganize my desk drawers. Maybe take a bath as a reward."
"That sounds like a Rory Gilmore afternoon if I've ever heard one," he teases with a happier looking smile, "go ahead. I'm okay here. Go home, I'll see you there later."
She frowns, "I don't want to leave you."
He lifts a hand and pushes her hair back until his hand is on the back of her head; he pulls her towards him and gives her forehead a kiss.
"I'm okay, Rory. I won't be okay if I know that Truncheon is taking up any more of your day," he pulls back with a small smirk, "come on. I know you've been wanting to organize your closet. You've mentioned it a few times this week."
Her cheeks tint as he calls her out, and with a conceding sigh, she nods.
"Alright. I'll go home," she stands up, one hand still in his, "I love you, Jess. So much. We will make up for all of the bad home memories you have. I promise."
His face lifts, and he stands to meet her lips with his.
"I know we will. I can't wait," he kisses her again, "now beat it, Gilmore."
She is knee deep in piles of clothes, sorted by what she wants to donate and what she wants to offer to Doula (since, much to her confusion, early 2000s fashion is cool again), when she hears the faint sound of the front door closing over her music. Nervous panic sets in; she's only been home from Truncheon for a little over an hour. She stands up from the floor of her closet with a quiet grunt; turning to look around for something to use as a weapon just in case. Her eyes land on a pair of high-heeled boots in her donation pile, and she picks one of them up. She cautiously steps out of the closet, holding the pointy heel out in front of her, and as she comes around the wall the bedroom door opens, and she screams.
"Damnit, Jess!" she throws the shoe on the floor, "you scared me! You weren't supposed to be home this soon."
His eyebrows are raised high, and he looks guilty as he steps up to her. But she also notices that any scary feelings from earlier seem to have completely left him.
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to," he gently places his hands on her arms, "I texted you."
"You did?" she asks, taking her hands away from her face. He nods, taking his phone out of his back pocket to show her the message he sent twenty minutes ago, 'closing the shop and coming home early. See you soon'.
"You did," she calms, "I was listening to music, I guess I didn't hear the notification. Sorry for pointing a stiletto at you."
"It's all good, I'm glad you were prepared to protect yourself," he shrugs, then smirks, "please tell your mom about this, though. She will get a kick out of you using your shoe as a weapon."
"Why?"
He winks, "a little joke between us."
"You have an inside joke with my mom?!"
"Kinda."
"That's so cute."
His mouth ticks up in a more sinister grin before he gets even closer to her, placing his head in the crook of her neck. He starts to kiss and lightly sucks on her skin there.
"I didn't come home to be cute," he mumbles against her; she shivers.
"No?" she asks, wrapping her arms around him to pull him closer, "what did you come home early for?"
"Well," he begins, kissing a trail up her neck, jaw and finally meeting her lips for a deep kiss, "my app says you're ovulating."
Those words catch her by surprise, and after her talk with Paris earlier, make her feel a little weird. She pulls back slightly from him.
"Wow. It only took the prospect of putting a baby in me for you to learn how to properly use an app."
He looks over her face and then smirks, "it is a very inspiring prospect."
His mouth moves to her neck again, planting wet, rough kisses there as he pushes her body in the direction of their bed. He releases her from his arms, and she falls backward onto the mattress. He leans over her, smiling at the messy bun in her hair and the striking blue of her eyes. But then he frowns, as he takes in the strange look on her face.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," she shakes her head, "it's just…I had lunch with Paris today."
He tilts his head, "you did? I don't remember you mentioning that."
"I know. I didn't. Because I didn't want you to read too much into it. And then with what happened earlier…it wasn't the right time to bring it up."
He looks her over again, and realizing they need to have a conversation about whatever is on her mind, he moves to sit next to her on the bed. She sits up and faces him.
"It wasn't just a friendly catch-up sort of lunch, was it?" he asks, and then adds on, "and I'm using the term 'friendly' very loosely. It is Paris."
Her mouth lifts into half a smile.
"It was supposed to be just a regular lunch, but I couldn't help bringing up the…baby stuff. I mean, she's an incredible doctor and I'm so lucky to be friends with her. How could I not mention it?"
He gives her a small nod and an encouraging look to go on.
"I asked how to get pregnant."
His eyebrow perks up in amusement, but then as he thinks about recent events, his face drops.
"You're worried. Because you got your period."
It's not a question; he knows the answer. She makes a face, a delicate look of embarrassment and insecurity is reflected to him, and it pulls at his heart.
"I understand, Rory," he leans forward to gently move stray hairs from her face, "it's okay. What did she say?"
She sighs and throws up a hand, "that's the crazy thing! She told me not to worry about it for now, and if we're still having trouble in a few months to let her know. She said not to stress about it, and she made me delete my app! She also told me to 'lock up' my basal thermometer but it's so advanced, I haven't even figured out how to use it yet so that doesn't matter. Jess, I thought she would be thrilled that I came to her for help! It was so strange."
He listens to her semi-tirade intently, watching closely all of her gesturing and thinking over her words. When she's done, he holds one of her hands.
"It sounds like she's being a good friend," he states softly, shrugging one shoulder, "it must take a lot for her especially to put her doctor hat to the side and do what's best for you. As her friend. I'm sure it's completely in your best interest, Rory. Otherwise, she wouldn't have done that."
She looks back at him and finds herself smiling a little bit.
"I know," she nods, "I really appreciate her. And I'm going to listen to her, as best as I can."
He gives her another encouraging smile, that turns to a smirk in a flash.
"You can do it. You've always been a good student," he winks, "very good at following instructions."
Her face heats up, picking up on his salacious undertone. She meets his awaiting look with a raise of her eyebrow.
"Oh yeah? Do you have instructions you want me to follow?"
"I sure do, Miss Gilmore, thank you for asking," he replies playfully, and nods his head towards the bed, "lie your beautiful body down for me."
She grins impishly and does as he says. He lies down too, turning on his side and propping his head up on a hand, the other skimming over her body outside of her clothes. He has been heavy with appreciation for her since the start of the weird afternoon. So, when his phone lit up with a notification about her cycle, he knew immediately how he wanted to show her all this love and he rushed home.
"You're so beautiful, Rory," he mumbles, eyes slowly dragging from her hypnotizing curves to her bright eyes, "since the day I met you. Crazy beautiful."
She holds a hand up to his face to urge him towards her for a kiss.
"You too, Jess," she mutters against his lips, "you've always been devastatingly handsome."
"Really? You don't seem devastated."
"Oh, I am. Internally. I am all…molten lava for you."
His grin stretches wide against her mouth, and he mumbles,
"I think I'm going to have to check that out for myself…"
He pulls back slightly and looks in her eyes, moving one hand down from her chest to her lounge shorts, "we are going to have some cute babies."
His words are confident, if not a little cocky, but she understands their intent; the hidden promise in his statement meant to reassure her. Her mouth twists as she tries not to smile too hard, she bites her lip as he inches his fingers under her waistband. He looks down at her shorts with a smirk.
"I'm glad you changed out of that dress you were wearing earlier," he teases as he gets beneath her underwear.
"Not you too! Paris already made fun of that dress."
"Hey, it was a very pretty dress," he assures her, and she loses the fight within her as his fingers glide between her lips, "but it would have taken me a lot longer to figure out how to get where I'm trying to be."
She moans as his fingertips linger and lightly pet around her already swollen bundle of nerves. He glides them down to push inside of her. She squeezes her legs together to get pressure again where she wants it, trapping his wrist between her thighs while he pushes deeper.
"I know you need more, baby," he mumbles, "I'm going back, don't worry."
She groans, and to his previous statement asks, "where is it you're 'trying to be'?"
He grins down at her, and carefully moves his body so he's kneeling on the bed next to her now. With his freed hand, he first holds her face, then travels down until his hand is resting on her lower stomach.
"Right here."
Her face burns with a fiery blush; he thrusts his fingers in and out.
"What are you waiting for?" she asks, squeezing her legs harder as she tries to find relief for the growing pulse there. He pulls his fingers out to place both hands at the band of her shorts, tugging them down and off swiftly. He quickly strips his own clothes off standing at the end of the bed, and Rory waits with heightened anticipation for him to return. He kneels between her legs, and she opens them up wider to him. He grabs one of her legs, lifting it up to rest against his shoulder. He grips her thigh there and nudges himself closer until he's thrusting inside her. She moans and wraps her free leg around him.
"This is what I was waiting for," he grunts out, "had to open you up, baby. I have to get really deep in here, you know."
She whimpers as he does that, pushing himself further inside until there's nowhere to go. She moves her hand between her legs, but he grabs it gently, bringing it to his lips before guiding it back down to the bed.
"I got you," he mutters, looking down at where their bodies meet with a satisfied smile, "let me take care of it."
She practically screams with pleasure as he finally brings his thumb to circle her clit, while he's fully sheathed within her. Her hands fall hard on the mattress, and she grasps onto the blankets there as he starts to drive in and out of her. Everything about him screams determination, yet he still manages to make it feel loving and gentle; turning his head every now and then to place kisses on the foot that sits on his shoulder. Running the hand that holds her leg tenderly up and down her thigh.
"Jess," she moans his name as his sweet movements make her skin break out in goosebumps. He meets her eyes with nothing but love and turns his face slightly to kiss her ankle. As she gets closer to her end, his fingers and palm splayed across her lower belly while his thumb works her in delicious circles, he pulls his body even closer to hers. Her leg is stretched out and pressed against his stomach, chest and shoulders; his pelvis pushes against his thumb and adds even more pressure to her building orgasm. Once he finds the deepest place that he can get inside her, he plants himself there and thrusts in small, quick movements.
"Oh god," she groans at all of the feelings radiating through her body. She closes her eyes and her back arches up off the bed, pressing herself against him even more.
"Yes, Rory," Jess mutters appreciatively, eyes raking over her form, "you want more? I can give you more."
Her eyes and mouth open, she gives him a pleading nod. She whines in frustration as he moves his hand from her throbbing bud.
"I know, hold on. I've got you," he promises, lifting her other leg up so that both are resting against his body. He uses her legs as leverage to get closer to her.
"Here we go, baby," he grunts, wrapping one arm around her thighs to pound in and out of her. She erupts with breathy noises; he brings his other hand back to her center to rub his thumb where she needs it again.
"Oh my god," she squeaks, words changing pitch every time he slams against her, "Jess, don't stop. I'm almost there."
"I know," he grunts out with a smirk, speeding up his circles around her clit, "I can't wait to see your pretty face while you come. Please let me see it, baby."
His words and motions pique her pleasure, and she makes sure to look up at him as she finally explodes.
"Oh fuck, yes Rory."
He watches with a satiated look and drives as deep into her as he can to feel every twitch from her tremors.
"So fucking pretty," he mumbles, as he starts thrusting in and out of her again, "always so pretty. I'm almost there, you okay?"
She can hardly breathe, but nods and manages to whimper out a, "yes."
He smiles over her appreciatively, running his hands up and down her legs. Turning his head, he kisses one ankle and then turns to kiss the other. When he looks back at her, she's blushing and still slightly panting from her orgasm. The feelings that the look on her face brings, and her body around him, make him hum with pleasure.
"You feel and look so good, Rory," he murmurs these words, as his praising thoughts of her escape him, "I'm so fucking lucky. I'm gonna go harder okay? Tell me if it's too much."
She smiles excitedly and nods; she moves her hands from the mattress and presses them against the headboard behind her. He smirks and wraps both of his arms around her legs now and holds on tight as he pounds into her until he's coming apart, body shaking and hips quivering against hers. He carefully lifts and drops her legs off his shoulders, leaning forward to rest softly on her chest.
"Are you okay?" she asks, running a hand through his hair, "that seemed like a lot of physical effort."
He laughs and places a kiss on her neck before rolling off of her. He turns on his side to face her.
"Don't worry about me. Are you okay?"
"Of course," she replies with a smile, "I've never not been okay during or after sex with you. But it's nice that you always ask."
His lips twitch but he shakes his head.
"I've definitely hurt you by accident before."
"That's not true!"
"Just because you don't say it doesn't mean I don't notice," he insists with a look, "I've caught a concerning face or two. When I went too deep too fast once. And another time I had your body curled up too much and you couldn't breathe."
She frowns, "I don't remember that. But I mean, I've hurt you too."
"I know, sometimes you forget that my dick doesn't bend in crazy ways."
Her jaw drops but then she laughs.
"Sorry."
He shrugs, "you haven't severely injured me yet so it's all good."
"Well, let's hope I never do. It would be a shame to have to go an elongated time without doing that."
He smirks and brings a hand to her face, the skin of her cheek hot against his palm.
"I would still take care of you," he winks and pulls her face to him for a kiss. She grins but it softens as she says,
"Speaking of taking care of each other," she begins carefully, "are you sure you're okay? And I don't mean after sex."
His features turn more serious, thinking of the earlier event, and he gives her an earnest look.
"Yes. I'm okay," he kisses her nose. She looks back at him, her tender eyes inspecting his face. He smiles softly and kisses her again, "I'm okay, Rory. Thank you for asking."
"Okay," she finally whispers her acceptance, and Jess laughs when she says, "I wish I had charged him more. I could have told him it's more expensive because your autograph is worth so much."
"If anything, I think my signature tarnishes its value. You've seen my cursive writing, and you have shared your thoughts on it," he smirks, and she folds her lips to stop from laughing.
"All I said was that it's interesting to see someone take creative liberties with the cursive alphabet! Your J just doesn't have the amount of loops that I was taught to use."
"Well, I didn't go to a fancy school like you," he teases, and thinking of her fancy schooling, he finally asks, "So. Paris knows, huh?"
Her face falls slightly.
"I'm sorry," she confirms with a guilty frown, "I know it was my idea to keep it between us."
"Don't be sorry. I assumed you were telling her from the start, if you remember."
"But still. I should have been more patient."
"It doesn't bother me," he reiterates, and then grimaces, "except if she's going to try looking at my balls again. I don't really want to do that. Unless necessary."
Rory laughs loudly and shakes her head.
"No. She'll be good. Unless it gets to that point…"
He manages a supportive smile and kisses her again.
"If it gets to that point, Rory. I will do any weird thing that Paris tells me to. I promise," he mumbles and while his words are a little silly, he's dead serious, "I…read in one of your books that sometimes men can be weird about fertility stuff, because it's been largely framed as a woman's issue. But that's not me. You know that, right? I'm prepared for any test, examination, anything."
Her heart bursts with gratitude, and she nods emphatically.
"I know that, Jess. I trust you," she says softly, then tilts her head curiously, "you're reading my books?"
"Maybe," he shrugs, but his clever smile is telling.
"Are you leaving notes in them?"
"Maybe."
"I love you."
He grins, and effortlessly cages her body beneath his.
"You have no idea how weak that word is for what I feel for you," he leans down and kisses her gently once, "but I do love you too."
She sits up, taking him by delighted surprise as she pushes his body back against the bed. She smiles and then lies on top of him, her head on his chest and their legs entangled together.
He wraps his arms around her and kisses her head repeatedly. She listens to his heart beat in his chest, the sound soothing her inside and out. His question comes out as a rumble against her ear,
"Do you want me to delete the app?"
It takes her brain a second to recall what he's talking about. She turns her head to rest her chin on his chest and meet his eyes. As she goes to say yes, she thinks of what Paris said and tilts her head in thought.
"Well…she told me to delete it, and she told me not to worry or be stressed. But she did say that you can worry about doing your part. So…maybe you should keep it."
He is puzzled, eyebrows raised and mind trying to make sense of what she's saying.
"You know, so at least one of us knows."
Suddenly, he understands, and his face relaxes into a touched smile.
"You want me to be in charge of this? Of knowing what's going on in your body and taking care of it without stressing you out? You want me to…be in charge of getting you pregnant?"
The way he asks each question is laced with sweet surprise, and it makes her melt.
She shrugs one shoulder, "if you want to."
He looks excited as he holds her face with both hands and plants a luscious kiss on her lips.
"Fuck yeah," he enthuses, and it makes her laugh, which makes him smile wider.
"Seriously," he continues, still holding on to her face, "I would be honored if you let me have that kind of control and responsibility. It's all I want. Is to take care of you and make this as easy for you as possible. Let me track everything, let me make so much love to you. I'm happy to handle it, Rory. More than happy."
Her chest heaves with the amount of affection she's feeling, and all she can do at first is nod. He gives her a look though, and she knows she needs to confirm it.
"Okay," she finally says, voice tender but resolute, "you're in charge."
AN: okay i said there wouldn't be a zillion chapters of trying but there are a few. it's fun though, right?
also, I have started working on a research project that needs to be completed by mid December, and it's something that I plan to submit to a journal so I want to work hard on it. knowing me, it will probably not affect my story writing/posting - but I wanted to mention it in case it for some reason does. if more than a week goes by between chapters, please know I will be posting as soon as I can and be patient with me :) thank you! xoxo