thank you for reading/reviewing!
I got soooo sick with the flu after Christmas, like couldn't get out of bed for four days, nonstop 100 degree fever sick. thank you for your patience and please be patient with me still with the next few chapters as I get my life and brain back together :)
hoping that 2025 starts healthy and happy for all of us
enjoy xoxo
disclaimer: i own nothing
She stares down at the metal step, attempting to will it with her mind to suddenly turn into an escalator. She doesn't look up from it, not wanting the reminder that she still has a whole second flight to cover. One hand rests on the railing, the other on her thirty week bump. Somehow, she keeps getting bigger despite the fact that she feels like there's no room left to grow. Her legs and body ache, from the work day and from traveling to and from. She has the rest of the week before she starts her leave. But she was kind enough to offer to train someone to take over her position while she's gone, and it's made her work days longer recently.
Against her will, her eyes gaze upward on the staircase. They take in the intimidating length and effort between her body and her home, where Jess no doubt has dinner waiting for her. Probably dessert too. And not to mention, his strong hands that like to massage her legs and feet on the couch while they watch TV before bed.
"Ugh," she groans, stomping one of her feet, "so close but so far."
She takes a huge inhale of oxygen, and then moves her foot to the next step and propels herself forward. She makes it up to the next landing, with her struggling grunts and breaths bouncing off the walls around her; making her feel like she's an elephant trying to climb a steep, narrow mountain. Her legs quiver, and she whines as she slowly sinks down to sit. Her eyes fill with hot tears, frustrated with her body and with herself. The baby kicks her particularly hard then, probably annoyed with the growling sounds of hunger surrounding her, and Rory yelps.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying!"
She rubs her hand over her stomach, hoping to soothe her daughter and her hunger pangs; she ate before she left work, but her appetite is still ceaseless. The baby kicks her again and she groans while she shoves a hand in the pocket of the light jacket that's starting to make her sweat.
"Okay, okay, fine! I'm calling your dad."
The line rings only a couple times before he answers,
"Hey I was starting to worry about you."
She huffs, "I can't move."
"What?!"
"It won't turn into an escalator!"
There's a pause before he repeats again, this time more puzzled than worried, "what?"
She sighs and drops her head down against her free hand. Clearly she cannot avoid just asking him for help, despite her efforts. Even over seven months pregnant, and even with a partner like him who never makes her feel like she's helpless but loves to help her, as her pregnancy goes on she feels more useless each week.
"I can't make it up the stairs, Jess," she finally admits in a defeated grumble, and compounds it with a string of more honest statements, "there are too many steps! My legs hurt and the baby keeps kicking me and-and this coat is making me sweat but taking it off alone is just as annoying as leaving it on to sweat. And I am so so hungry. And I ate before I left work, I swear I did. I've been eating every hour just like I have been since California, you know, so I don't get so hungry, but I am somehow still starving! It's getting so hard -"
She suddenly hears a door above her slam open and pounding footsteps descending in her direction.
"Oh, great now I'm going to get run over too!" she whines, trying to pull her body closer to the wall and away from possible foot traffic, then she shouts up, "pregnant lady with her flashers on down here!"
The steps get louder, and she hides her head; not wanting a stranger to put a face to the weak woman on the staircase.
"It's me," the voice calls back and then suddenly he's next to her and placing a hand on her shoulder, "it's just me."
She drops her hand from her face to meet his; she feels his loving and calm energy settles over her and she drops the phone from her hand. She sulks and admits,
"I need help."
He nods and offers her a deeply kind look, definitely trying to keep her from feeling anything negative about that statement.
"Can you stand up?" he asks, holding his hands out to her. She nods and instead of taking them, pulls herself up by clinging both of her hands to the banister. He stands close by, hands up and waiting if she needs them, but doesn't fuss over this choice.
"I'm up," she stands across from him, feeling some of her dignity come back to her by that independent movement. He nods and smiles, then places a gentle hand on her arm.
"How can I help? Do you want to put your arm around my shoulders and take it slow, or will you let me carry you?"
She hesitates, looking past him up the next flight of stairs and contemplating how independent she is really feeling. Her eyes meet his again and she says softly,
"You can try to carry me."
"I don't have to 'try''," he replies, sweeping an arm under her legs and the other around her waist, "I can always carry you. Just like I said I would be able to."
The ease of which he begins to trek up the stairs inspires a pink blush over her cheeks; partially embarrassed at the differences in their physical abilities, and partially aroused by his effortless strength. But her stomach growls again, overpowering any sexual desire she felt with hunger. He looks down at her in his arms as he steps down the hallway to their home.
"Dinner is all ready for you both," he promises, leaning down to kiss her head.
Then he pushes the door open and softly places her down by the door. He turns her to face him before she walks away.
"Before you go to the living room, you need to know that she sent more stuff. I am running out of places to put it all, so there's a giant pink dresser slash changing table in the living room. Be careful."
Rory gasps, and quickly fumbles to get her coat off.
"No way! What is wrong with my grandmother?! We can hardly even move in the nursery as is with the freaking multiple rocking chairs she sent and the giant crib and the bookshelf and the toy chest and all the other random baby stuff she's sent since we told her we're having a girl!"
She huffs as she shakes her arms, trying desperately to get the offending coat off. He steps in then, seeing a potential explosion simmering in her, and pulls her free of it.
"I know. I'm pretty sure she's trying to tell us something," he mumbles, and meets her eyes with a timid look, "and with the staircase issue you just had, I'm not so sure she's wrong…"
Rory's face falls, and even though he delivered the words carefully, they poked their pointy fingers right into the bruises covering her ego. She turns away from him and attempts to stride down the hall with ease.
"I'm calling my mom. She'll know what to do about Grandma."
He's right behind her, "you need to eat first."
"I can do both at the same time!" she argues, kicking the kitchen door open, "I can multitask! I can still do things."
He watches from a safe distance as she pulls out the chair to their kitchen table, which happens to be a high-top.
"I'm not saying that you can't but more that you shouldn't," he mumbles, running a hand through his hair and eyeing as she attempts to climb up and into the raised seat. She puffs and groans, and turns herself around, putting one hand on the table top and the other on the back of the chair as she attempts to hoist herself up.
"Why?! Because I choked on a tortilla chip?! It was an accident!" she pushes and presses, making attempts at propelling her body upward that are foiled each time by her beach ball shaped middle.
"The funny thing about accidents is that they can happen more than once," he mutters, eyes growing in nervousness as she turns back around and tries to lift her knee up to the top of the chair. He can't be a bystander any longer, as he sees her stomach get awfully close to pressing into the seat; he jumps to her aide.
"For the love of God, Rory, please let me help you into the chair," he begs, gripping onto the back of her arms to carefully pry her backward. She stumbles and he catches her, holding her close to him with her back against his body. He feels her shoulders sulk against him.
"Can we just eat in the living room?" she asks in a meek mumble. He takes a calming breath; the escalating stress from moments ago fading out of both of them. He loosens his grip on her arms and rubs his palms from her shoulders down to her wrists.
"Yes, we can eat in the living room," he kisses her head where it sits near his and adds in a tender yet teasing tone, "like we've been doing every night anyway."
She sighs and pulls herself from him.
"I'm going to call mom," she steps away, pushing the kitchen door open.
He sighs too, "okay, I'll fix you a plate."
As she walks into the living room, the imposing dresser stares back at her by the window across the room. She grimaces, because it's actually really pretty and she would love to keep it but doesn't know how that will be possible. She trudges over to the couch and slowly sinks back into it. She pulls out her phone and calls her mom.
"Hi honey and hi to your mini-me too!"
Rory looks down at her stomach,
"She didn't kick so I guess she doesn't say hi."
"Wow! Rude. I don't know if we should name her Lorelai if she has all this contempt for me."
Rory rolls her eyes, "we were never going to name her Lorelai."
"Never?!"
She sighs, "okay, it's not not an option. Just unlikely."
"Ow. It can be so heartbreaking when children break a family tradition."
"You sound like your mother."
Lorelai gasps, "bite your tongue!"
"Mom," Rory exclaims in aggravation, "Grandma won't stop sending us stuff!"
"What stuff?"
"Ever since I called her a couple months ago, when we found out that we're having a girl, she's been sending all of this…stuff to our apartment! Furniture, baby toys, clothes. I have two different types of rocking chairs from her!"
"Oooh, what kind?"
Rory clicks her tongue in annoyance but answers, "a wooden one and like a modern one with an ottoman."
"They sound nice! Can I have one if you're not using it?"
"Mom," she groans, throwing her head back on the couch, "the room that we're using for the nursery is full! And now there's a huge, but really pretty, dresser in our living room, right next to a box of newborn baby clothes. And honestly, based on how hungry I have been this whole pregnancy, I'm not sure the baby is even going to fit in them out of the womb!"
"Aw, you can donate them?"
"Yes, of course. But that's not the point. The apartment is already crowded, especially since we had to convert the room from an office to a nursery. Our desks are in our bedroom now, and let me tell you, they love to attack my toes in the middle of the night when I'm just trying to pee because the baby is resting right against my bladder!"
"Those desks," Lorelai tuts, "I've always felt that desks are a little sinister. Could never explain it. But alas, we have proof."
"How do I get her to stop?"
Lorelai sighs, "she clearly wants you to move."
Rory is quiet for a moment. She turns and looks up as the kitchen door opens to see Jess with a plate piled high for her. Her tongue flits out to lick her bottom lip.
"I know that," she admits to Lorelai, "but what I don't get is why?! Why does she care and why is she being so…passive aggressive about it?"
"Why is always the question when it comes to Emily Gilmore, babe. And guess what? That's exactly your answer. Just because she's Emily Gilmore, and she can."
Rory shoots Jess a grateful, small smile and he takes it as the peace offering it is. He leans down to press a quiet kiss against her head.
"We don't need to move."
"Really? I heard your apartment is crowded."
"Because Grandma keeps filling it!"
"Uh huh, not like it wasn't going to get filled up anyway after the baby comes. Right?"
She lifts the plate up and sets it on her bump that's big enough to double as a table now. She sticks a fork in the macaroni and cheese on her plate and takes a big bite to give herself time to think.
"Oh, what did Jess make you for dinner? I hear you chompin'!"
She swallows and looks down, "mac and cheese and chicken tenders. And cheesy broccoli. Really into comfort foods right now."
"Wow he's good to you. Luke would never put that much cheese on my plate for dinner."
She looks over at the man in question, a little guiltily, as she replies,
"I know."
"Why don't you want to move?"
Rory swallows another bite of food before admitting,
"Well, before it was because I was a little scared. That something could still happen. But little baby Gilmore-Mariano is sure to let me know a million times a day that she is well and kicking."
"She sounds talented already," her mom teases, and then questions softly, "and now?"
"And now…maybe I'm just being stubborn," she confesses after a beat of honest introspection, "and I don't want to give into Grandma, because I know that means she probably wants to help us get a house or something."
"Probably, but what's wrong with that?"
"What do you mean what's wrong with that?! How about all of the generous things she's already done for us? Truncheon, my engagement ring, and she's also offered to finance me taking this extra time off work to devote to writing the book. She cannot help us with a home too. It's too much!"
"Honey…" Lorelai sounds in her soothing mom tone, "listen. I understand struggling to accept that kind of help, especially from Emily, but Rory…you and I have very different relationships with her. You're her granddaughter, and you're giving her a great granddaughter! Can you even imagine how exciting that must be for her? She's been without dad for so long now, and I know she's living a good life, but you, and Jess, are about to bring so much more brightness into it. That is not a small thing, sweets. It's a big thing. Some would say big enough to not feel bad about letting her help you move into a larger home."
Rory thinks over her words as she eats more of her dinner, looking over at Jess who sits beside her now. He notices and meets her look with a tender smile.
"And by the way, I think I remember you mentioning you want more than one Gilmore-Mariano baby, am I right? Knowing how infatuated Jess is with you, I'm sure he's going to try and reproduce for as long as you let him."
She coughs, the bite of chicken in her mouth going down the wrong pipe at those words. Jess immediately has a hand on her back and a look of worry on his face.
"I'm okay," she croaks, "my mother is just being…well, herself."
"That was a nice way to say that, thanks sweetie," Lorelai comments. Jess hands her a cup of water and she gladly pauses the conversation to take a few sips.
"Anyway, yes to your question. But…it's a lot of money to buy a place to live. Or to move somewhere bigger in New York. She's already invested so much in Truncheon."
"And Truncheon is doing very well from what I hear," Lorelai replies factually, "and you do not have to worry about her and money. Let my mother help if she wants to. Her husband was in the insurance business, you know - and the kind of money he has no doubt left her with Rory, she couldn't possibly spend in ten lifetimes."
She sighs, feeling a little defeated. Because everything her mom is saying to her makes sense, but she already has a difficult time accepting help in the first place, and her over seven month pregnant state has made that an even more touchy subject for her.
Reading her daughter's mind somehow, Lorelai says gently, "Just think about it, sweets."
Rory nods even though she can't see.
"Okay," she says quietly, "In the meantime, I'm looking forward to seeing you this weekend. And staying somewhere that doesn't feel like I'm living in an obstacle course."
"Oh, did I forget to mention that we're renovating the house?"
"No! Really!? Is there furniture everywhere?"
"Nope, just messing with you."
"Cruel."
"We have plenty of room, for you and Jess and baby belly makes three. You'll be comfortable, I promise."
"I can't wait to celebrate your birthday and give you your gift. I've been holding onto it since California!"
"Well, I hope you've been feeding and bathing him all this time! That man needs to eat a lot, you know, and I have to say I would be more than a little disappointed if I receive a skinny Brad Pitt for my birthday."
Rory laughs and shakes her head, "it's not Brad Pitt, sorry. And I think I could give him a run for his money right now as far as eating a lot goes."
"Okay, well let's get off the phone then so you can eat in peace. And not choke."
She frowns, "did you have to add that part?"
"I remember when you were eight years old, and we were eating Chinese food for dinner. You were eating so fast I had to chop up your sweet and sour chicken!"
"I get it, okay! I was always destined to choke. I've learned my lesson."
"Good! Bye babe, make sure you chew like a cow on grass!"
"Hate that image of myself," Rory mumbles in response, "bye mom."
She hangs up and sets her phone and her fork down on the coffee table. Then she carefully, and with a humbled look on her face, turns to Jess. He drops his fork too and gives her his full attention, sitting back on the couch so his arm rests behind her. She takes a breath; she sighs and finally admits,
"We need to move."
He shrugs one shoulder easily.
"Okay. We'll discuss it starting tomorrow. You had a long day. Let's relax and talk about something fun."
"Okay," she nods, taking the last few bites of her dinner, "like what?"
He gives her a sweet smirk as he grabs his Bose headphones off the coffee table. He removes the now empty plate from her belly and slips the headphones on.
"I made her a new playlist," he explains in a sweet mumble, scrolling through his phone to find it.
"Another one?" Rory asks in a tone of admiration. The side of his smile lifts higher, and he nods his head. He presses play and hands her the phone.
"Yep. This one is all songs that are girl names. So if she hears one she likes, she can kick you and let us know."
Her grin in response stretches across her face while she looks him over.
"That's adorable," she puckers her lips, and he leans in for the kiss she's asking for.
"Now let's see what you've got on here," she sighs happily as she scrolls through the songs, "'Layla', 'Cecilia', 'Polly', oh that one is a little dark to name her after don't you think? 'Cherry', that's cute. Oh, Jess. 'Lorelei'?"
"Of course," he insists with a smug smirk, "not only is it a beautiful name, it's a beautiful Pogues song."
She playfully rolls her eyes and asks, "so if she kicks me when she hears it, are we going to use that spelling instead of mine and my mom's?"
"Nah, she won't know the difference. We would keep the tradition alive."
Their eyes stay locked, grins playful and loving. She places a hand on her stomach as she feels a kick.
"Oh! She just kicked," she hands the phone back to him, with an excited smile "see what's playing."
His mischievous grin is telling, "'Penny Lane.'"
She shoots him a sharp look.
"You just can't help yourself sometimes, can you?"
He shrugs one shoulder up as high as his smug smile, "I saw an opportunity and I went for it."
"Of course you did," she sighs and pats his hand, "skip to the next song, William Miller. We're not naming her after a suicidal groupie."
"So, you're saying you'll think about it?"
"Jess."
"Okay, next song."
"You promise I don't look like I'm wearing a tent?" Rory asks, for the third time, as they get out of the car at the Dragonfly. She stands by the passenger door, looking down at herself with what looks like a hint of disappointment as she takes in her knee-length, baby blue wrap-dress. Her fingers skate over the stringy tie that rests under her left breast, but on top of her bump. The other hand attempts to smooth out the fabric on the side of her stomach, so it hugs her more than it cloaks her; but not being able to decide if she likes that better or worse, she keeps pressing it in and then pulling it off her skin.
Jess watches at her side, utterly confused but trying hard not to show it - because he doesn't want to make her feel crazy.
"Rory," he calls her attention to him softly, "you don't think you look beautiful?"
She looks back at him while chewing on her lip.
"It's more that I don't feel beautiful. I know that…what my body is doing is a beautiful thing. But, you know what goes on behind the scenes of all these…curves and this expanding bump. You know it's getting harder to sleep at night, and that I feel constantly hungry, and that I'm still having indigestion issues and all that freaking lovely stuff. And that I can't walk up two flights of stairs alone! It just kinda feels like I'm…dressing up a pile of garbage."
He regards her with deep, sympathetic eyes; he reaches out to take the hand resting on her stomach and hold it in his.
"I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable," he murmurs kindly, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, "I know this is hard, and I know it's been getting even harder lately. But please know that even when you feel those difficult things, when you feel like crawling out of your skin because your body can't catch a break…you're still beautiful, Rory. I promise. And that doesn't fix all the discomfort, I know, but let it be one less thing on your mind, huh?" he lifts her hand to his lips, then holds her gaze and says confidently and with no room for argument, "you're gorgeous."
She softens, her lightly lined blue eyes lowering into something close to content. Her stomach ripples with a kick and it snaps both of their gazes to it. Jess smirks.
"See, little Penny Lane agrees."
She quickly levels him with a look.
"You know we're not naming her that."
"But that was the first song she kicked for."
"Sorry but I'm the one that has to bring her into this world, and therefore I have veto power."
"Fair enough," he nods towards the car, "do you need me to grab Lorelai's gift?"
"Oh, duh," Rory turns and opens the passenger door of their new SUV. The record is wrapped and flat on the floor; she looks down at it and then down at herself, and then over to Jess. He steps forward, with a tiny smirk, and kisses her face, then leans down and gets it from the floor of the car.
"You and your flat stomach made that look very easy."
"Me and my flat stomach cannot do what yours is doing, so I think it's a fair trade," he takes her hand in his and starts walking them at a comfortable pace towards the inn, "speaking of names, have any others in mind yet? Other than the list of songs she kicked during. I know that's not the ultimate decider."
Rory sighs, "not really. I thought about naming her Emily, but that's so common nowadays. And I think I'd like to break away from the name repeating tradition, for now anyway."
His eyebrow perks up and he looks over at her, "for now?"
She meets his eyes, then looks forward again with a little shrug.
"While we were at Truncheon last week, after you let me organize the children's bookshelf upstairs while you worked, I went down to the library and had a little talk with my grandfather's portrait," she confesses with a sentimental tone and a light blush, "I think if we ever have a boy, I might want to name it after him. Or at least make it his middle name. If you're okay with that of course."
He matches her soft tone in smile, and says jokingly,
"Well, I really had my heart set on a Jess Junior, but Richard Gilmore-Mariano sounds pretty cool."
She gasps and teases back, "we can name our daughter Jessica!"
He throws her an unamused look, as he opens the front door to the Dragonfly.
"Absolutely not."
"How about Jessalyn?"
"No."
"How about Jesse?"
"Nope."
"How about just Jess?"
"How about just no."
"But I think it would be really cool, clever and a little gender bendy if we name a girl after you!"
Just as he's about to give her another look, they are both stopped in their tracks by a loud, "surprise!"
Rory jumps at the sound; Jess holds tighter onto her hand and ignores the party in front of them.
"You okay?"
Her jaw is dropped as she takes in the room, filled with balloons, gifts, and people she loves. Lorelai stands at the center of it all, holding up a sash that says 'Mommy to be'; the familiarity of it all strikes her, bringing her back to that surprise thirty-third birthday party at the inn years before. But, her eyes move to catch the ribbon in her other hand that says, 'Girl dad to be', that's clearly meant for Jess, and she's brought back to the present by a happy rush of emotions. This is a day for both of them. Her eyes water with the immense love she feels from the room; she looks over at Jess as he squeezes her hand again.
"I'm okay. You didn't know about this, right?"
He shakes his head and turns back to the dining room, "not at all. Fully thought we were having lunch here for your mom's birthday."
That makes her even happier, that he's being treated to something special as much as she is.
Her smile broadens and her and Jess step forward to meet Lorelai.
"Mom, we're supposed to be celebrating your birthday," is all she can say, as Lorelai places the sash over her body.
"Oh, we'll do that later. Don't worry, I would never forget about myself," she jokes with a wink, giving both Rory and Jess a hug, "but for the next few hours, it's all about you two! Well, you three."
"Thank you mom," she gushes, and looks around the room to see who's in attendance.
"Oh my god Paris! And Lane! I'm going to go say hi."
Jess stays back while Lorelai fixes the ribbon to his shirt. He gives a playful shake of his head, but as their eyes meet he states genuinely, "thank you, Lorelai. This is nice."
She grins and nods, "you both deserve it. Luke will be here soon. He called me a few minutes ago to let me know he got stuck getting yelled at by Taylor for not helping with the easter egg hunt this year."
Jess chuckles and looks around the room, at all the people gathered there to celebrate his budding family with Rory. His smile waivers with a swell of emotion coursing through his chest. He turns back to Lorelai.
"Some things never change."
Her grin calms, and completing his thought she says, "and other things change in the most magical ways."
Before the sentimental feelings in him can turn into actual tears, he excuses himself to join Rory in greeting people. He sees a table with Liz, TJ, Doula and her girlfriend, Hannah, who sticks out in her all black outfit against the room full of rose gold and sparkly decorations. He grins at that, glad that his sister found someone so special in this Mayberry town; Doula meets his eyes and waves. He waves back and holds a finger up to indicate that he will visit her in a minute. First, he finds Rory sitting in a chair at a table with Lane, Zack and Paris. As soon as he steps up behind Rory's chair, Paris turns to him with her trademark irritable look on her face.
"It's annoying how gorgeous she looks at basically eight months pregnant. Do you know that?"
Rory looks up at him with a tint of red across her cheeks; he places his hands on her shoulders and gives her a smug wink to say I told you you're beautiful.
"I don't find it annoying at all," Jess mumbles in response, and looks over at Paris, "but I do know she's gorgeous, if that's part of the question."
She rolls her eyes and Lane jumps in next.
"It really is unfair. Every single part of me was swollen to three times its size by thirty weeks!"
"You had twins, Lane. And you were still beautiful," Rory argues and turns to Paris, "and you too. You were beautiful while pregnant!"
"Yes of course I was," Paris answers quickly, "but I had to put in a lot of work to stay pretty. Facials, massages every week, body treatments, IV infusions. You're all natural!"
"Stop it, I'm huge."
"Not really! You're all cute and perfect, ugh. It's like when we got kidnapped in the middle of the night at Chilton and you looked like a freaking princess. Meanwhile I looked like a proactiv commercial."
"Okay, can we stop talking about the way I look maybe?" Rory pleads as she reaches across the table for a rattle shaped cookie, "I'm so happy you guys are here. But I should probably go say hi to some other people. Oh, these cookies are amazing! I'm going to eat so many of these."
Jess squeezes her shoulders, "Doula and her girlfriend are here."
"Did you know that Hannah sings?" Lane asks Jess with an excited smile, "we're trying to find a venue where she could perform with the band one night. Being under eighteen and all, she can't really do the bar thing…"
"Yeah I'd love to do some Fleetwood Mac with her," Zack jumps in and then throws Lane a guilty look, "sorry babe. You don't quite have Stevie's range."
"Oh, I know my limits."
"She's so cool," Rory gushes, "I kinda hope they stay together forever."
"Hey you," Paris interrupts the conversation to call a waiter over, "can I get another espresso martini please? Lighter on the Kahlua this time, I'm not a child."
The waiter puts on a pained grin and nods as he walks away.
"Paris, please don't harass my mother's employees."
"I wouldn't have to if they brought me a good, stiff drink like I asked the first time. Baby showers can be so boring. I need the booze to keep me entertained. No offense to you, of course."
"Okay," Rory mutters and pushes herself up slowly from the chair. Jess holds a hand out and helps her all the way up, "we're going to go say hi to the rest of the room. Lane, try to keep her from scaring the staff?"
Lane laughs loudly, "you're funny."
"By the way," Paris speaks again, calling Rory's attention to her, "I noticed you haven't given your doctor your birth plan yet. Do you need help putting it together?"
"What?!" Rory asks in disbelief, "what do you mean you 'noticed'? How could you have noticed something confidential and completely unrelated to you?!"
Paris opens her mouth but knowing that she's about to be overwhelmed by whatever Paris is going to confess, Jess physically pulls Rory away from the area with an arm around her back.
"Catch you guys later."
"Wait but- "Rory sputters and Jess shakes his head.
"Paris is going to be Paris," he mumbles in her ear, "it's better if we don't know."
…..
Almost an hour later, Rory and Jess are ushered to two seats that Lorelai moved to the center of the space. In front of them, tables are pushed out of the way by Inn staff. Rory looks around in confusion, not seeing her mom anywhere. She sees Lane wave in the corner of the room, where she has been handling music for the party, and suddenly the opening sounds of "... Baby
One More Time" echo out. Jess reaches over and nudges Rory. She turns her attention back and gasps in amusement as Doula, her girlfriend, Lorelai, and Martha dance into the room dressed in schoolgirl outfits similar to the music video.
"Jesus," Jess huffs out a laugh, "they are lunatics."
"I think it's cute!" she exclaims, bouncing in her seat, "much better than doing karaoke without saying the word 'baby'."
"Huh?"
She turns briefly from the choreographed dance in front of them to say, "did I ever tell you that it was us who devil egged your car? We did it that day. The day of Sherry's baby shower."
He blinks in surprise, "no, you did not tell me that."
"Sorry," she smiles apologetically, "I was a little annoyed with you, and with you…touching that girl in front of me all the time."
He blinks again, before the smirk appears.
"I'll take that as a compliment, then," he tilts his head to her mother attempting to kick her leg high in the air, "enjoy the show, you rascal."
She laughs and turns back to the room, cheering on the group.
Suddenly, the song switches to "Push It" and Rory watches curiously as they huddle together at a nearby table. But as they turn back around, she erupts into giggles as she sees they all now have baby dolls stuffed under their tops.
"Oh I am not watching my little sister pretend to give birth," Jess mumbles, covering his face with his hands. She playfully hits his arm.
"It's just baby dolls. I love this! However I am worried about my mom, she looks a little out of breath."
"She's never worked out in her life and she's trying to keep up with teenagers," his words are garbled against his hands as he refuses to watch, "I'm sure she's more than out of breath."
They mimic pushing until they drop the baby dolls on the floor from under their shirts and the song ends. Rory claps happily and ambles over to Lorelai who is now lying flat out like a starfish on the floor.
"That was great!"
"Did little Lorelai like it?" she asks between labored breaths.
She rubs her belly, "I think she's sleeping. She tends to do that when there is a lot of noise and movement around her, and then when it's quiet and I'm trying to sleep she's awake."
"Darn," she mutters, "I hope Luke got a good video so we can show her when she's older."
"Lorelai, what on earth are you doing in that tiny skirt?! It looks like it's made for a toddler!"
Rory's eyes shoot across the room to where her grandmother stands, with a judgmental hand on her hip and appalled look on her face at her own daughter spread eagle in a mini skirt on the floor.
Lorelai groans, "it's a skort, mom. See?"
She flips it open to show that she has shorts underneath.
"Dear God, this is a baby shower, Lorelai. Not a bachelorette party!"
Lorelai throws Rory a desperate look and she nods.
"Grandma! I'm so happy you're here," she starts to waddle towards her; Jess steps in and laces an arm through hers, to assist her travels.
"Oh, I'll come to you dear," Emily insists, crossing the room to greet them "I would have been here sooner, but traffic in New York only seems to have gotten worse since I last visited."
Rory wraps her arms as best she can around her, then pulls back with a confused look, "New York?"
Emily ignores the question and turns her attention on Jess, "'girl dad to be'? What does the gender have to do with it?"
"Coming from the woman that cast the most judgmental eye over us for not wanting to know the sex right away," Jess quips in reply, not missing a beat. Her brow and lip rise.
"Touche. However, girl dad sounds like you're morphing yourself into something more feminine to raise her. Is that the case?"
Jess meets her brow raise with his own, "oh, I've always had a gentle heart, Ms. Gilmore. No morphing needed."
"Can we get back to the part about you coming from New York, please?" Rory begs, and Emily turns back to her then. She smiles as she looks over her.
"Pregnancy looks amazing on you Rory," she reaches out and places a hand on her arm, "please tell me you plan to do it again? You'll try to have more than one child, won't you?"
"Grandma," Rory rubs her belly, a blush blooming on her face from her words, "why are you staying in New York?"
She sighs and opens up her purse to hand a folder to Rory.
"Because. I needed to do some house tours," she crosses her arms over her chest, "I wanted to give you quality options to choose from. So. I went to see a few today, which is the real reason I'm late."
Rory stares at her for a moment, then looks over at Jess and then down at the folder in her hands. She opens it up and takes a shaky breath as she flips through pictures of a few different homes; all of them nice, and all of them way too big of a gift. Jess steps closer, with a hand on her lower back as he reads over her shoulder.
"You can't buy us a house, Grandma," Rory says softly, looking back up at her, "that's too much."
"And who gets to decide that? That it's too much? You would think it would be the giver."
Rory bites her lip and turns to look at Jess again. He looks back at her, eyes surveying and interpreting her look. He turns to Emily.
"Are you staying in town tonight?"
"Lorelai is holding a room for me here, yes."
"Okay," he looks between the eldest and the youngest Gilmore, "why don't we talk about this over breakfast tomorrow, then? Maybe we can come to an agreement that everyone is comfortable with. And for now, enjoy the rest of this wacky, but lovely, party. I hear that they're going to make all the men here do a diaper changing race. Wouldn't want to distract from that kind of entertainment."
Emily smirks, "I would love to see Lucas attempt to change a diaper."
Jess smiles.
"Wouldn't we all? Come on. Let's get you a drink."
….
"I guess we shouldn't be surprised that Zack won. He's had double the practice of most parents," Jess reasons, sipping a beer next to Luke in the corner of the room an hour later, "I am however shocked that you know how to change one at all."
Luke frowns, "you're forgetting that your mother used to love dropping baby Doula off at the diner without warning. I've got plenty of practice too."
"Good, you'll need it when you babysit for us. It would be unfair to leave all the dirty work to your wife," Jess teases with mirthful eyes.
"You mean whenever Jimmy's not doing it?" Luke mumbles into the neck of his beer bottle.
His face falls as he shoots Luke a confounded look, "are you…jealous that we're letting Jimmy in?"
"No, no," Luke immediately shakes his head, realizing how his words must have sounded, "I'm not jealous. I'm just…cautious about it. He's not the most reliable."
"Preaching to the choir. But…he really has been trying."
Luke regards his nephew, and Jess understands what his body language and lack of words is trying to convey- concern for him and his family. Jess softens under this protective care and tries to explain where he's coming from.
"He cares about Rory, and he was so…fatherly towards her when we visited him. So even though I never got to experience that myself, I'm cognizant of him treating the people that mean the most to me so well. I'm happy for her to have another paternal figure in her life, besides you. And I'm glad that our baby will have it too."
He watches as his Uncle's shoulders drop in understanding, "he has some good qualities, I guess. Like not panicking when Rory choked."
Jess's mouth ticks up slightly. He takes a swig of beer and shrugs.
"I've come this far. I'm not shrouded by my own contempt. I'm not going to limit the amount of love other people are able to receive from a man that took over thirty years to really show me any. Who would that benefit?"
Luke looks him over again and releases a sigh of pride.
"You're going to be an excellent father, Jess."
A loud giggling catches their attention then, and they find Rory surrounded by Doula, Liz, Martha and Sookie who each have a hand on her stomach. Jess smiles, because he knows what that means - their baby girl is making her presence known for everyone. He wonders if this will be a quality that extends outside the womb. Looking over at Lorelai and Emily, who stand nearby watching, he sees so much strength running through their DNA, and he is excited to see that in his own daughter. But he is dually determined to be there for her in a way that she doesn't always have to be strong; he has seen how that has affected all three Gilmore women, and he knows that he is guilty of the same trait - resisting help. And even though those genetic odds are stacked against it, he is prepared to teach her that she can safely rely on him and other people in her life.
"June is getting closer," Luke's mumbling voice snaps his attention from Rory, "are you nervous?"
He breathes out a sarcastic laugh.
"What idiot would say they aren't nervous? About birth, about becoming a new parent - anything related to bringing a child into the world."
Luke laughs now too and shrugs his shoulders up.
"I'm sure some cocky dude out there thinks he's fully prepared."
"I am cocky about some things, but this is not one of them."
"So…you're nervous."
"I am nervous. I'm nervous that Rory will be in a lot of pain – I mean she already is uncomfortable most of the time now, and it kills me because there are only a limited number of things I can do to help with that. I'm nervous that there could be delivery difficulties. I'm of course nervous about worst case scenarios. I'm nervous that I might inadvertently neglect any responsibilities taking care of a newborn," Jess pauses then and meets Luke's eyes, "but…I'm not nervous in any way that shakes up the good feelings. You know what I mean?"
"I think so. Not like I've ever been in your place before."
"You have, in other ways. When you took a chance on sharing your feelings with Lorelai…I'm sure there was something terrifying about that. But it didn't drown out the good stuff. That's what I mean. And that's how I know that, even though I'm nervous, I'm ready. I can't wait to love and care for a baby, together with Rory. And I can't wait to…be there for Rory in new ways."
"Yeah," Luke states after a few moments of silence, "you're ready. You guys like the new car?"
Jess shrugs, "I like that it's safe and easy to drive. Can't say that I've ever dreamed of owning an SUV but at least it's a Volkswagen. Makes it a little cooler."
Luke frowns, "because it's German?"
"Germany is cool," Jess insists, then backtracks, "well not always. But it is cool now, promise."
"Right. Still think you should have gone with a ford."
"Sorry, the found on road dead thing has really stuck with me. Can't take the chance."
"They're much better now! Also, you drove a freaking motorcycle. Anything is safer than that."
"I didn't want 'anything'. I wanted something I can feel good about Rory driving in with our children in the car from New York to Stars Hollow, because I'm sure there will be lots of that in the future."
"We'll come to you too, you know."
"She'll want to come here. You know that."
"Jess," Doula's bouncing form and exuberant voice appears in front of them. She clasps her hands together and practically jumps as she says, "I felt her kick! I felt my niece kick finally!"
Her excitement is both cute and touching, and he responds to it with a sincere grin.
"She must have loved your performance."
"Oh my god, she loves Britney Spears! I bet she's going to love Lady Gaga and Beyonce too. I cannot wait until I can teach her choreography and take her to concerts and - "
"Jeez, you know you're going to have to let her pop out and I don't know, learn how to walk and talk first, I think."
"Sorry, I'm just so excited to be an aunt! This is the best benefit of having a brother so much older than me."
"Not my sage advice?"
"Uh, no. This definitely tops that."
"Wow. I helped you get a date with your first girlfriend and everything."
"Okay, I don't need to hear any more of this conversation," Luke excuses himself then. Doula grins at Jess.
"Oh maybe I'll help your daughter with her first date!"
He frowns, "okay that's enough of pressing fast forward on my life."
"Fine," she sighs and then gives him a more serious look, "mom's excited too you know."
"For what?"
"Jess," she rolls her eyes, "Becoming a grandma?"
He nods slowly, "Right."
"Are you going to…let your daughter know her that way?"
His whole face scrunches in confusion.
"Of course. She's my mother."
Doula shrugs.
"Okay. Maybe you should mention that to her. She hasn't exactly said it, but I can tell that she's secretly afraid you're going to keep your distance. Since you have uncle Luke and Lorelai. And because of, you know, everything you went through with her."
"What am I supposed to say to her?"
"I don't know, you're the adult!"
"Jesus. Why am I forever accountable in some way for her feelings?"
Doula frowns, "it's not just you, Jess. She's like that with me too sometimes. And with dad and with uncle Luke. She's made a lot of mistakes, and I think she knows that and sometimes needs reassurance that we trust her now."
He takes a breath and pats her arm in understanding.
"Fine. I'll tell her that her grandchild can't wait to meet her or some crap like that," he looks her over, "how did you get so wise?"
She winks and teases.
"I have a much older brother," her eyes move past him, and she mumbles, "maybe you should tell her now."
He looks up to see that indeed Liz is heading right for them, with a small gift bag in her hand. He quickly looks at his sister, "please don't go."
She gives him a look, but she softens as she sees that he's serious. She nods.
"Your baby is quite the kicker, Jess. I don't know how Rory does it," Liz proclaims happily as she joins the group, "hey, maybe she'll join The Rockettes!"
"God, what is with you and Doula planning out her future already? I'm still waiting to actually meet her, you know."
Liz gives him a sweet smile, "I know, I'm just teasing. All the waiting is going to be so worth it, son, I promise. You're just going to…cry once you get her in your arms. Oh, it's going to be amazing! You're going to be amazing, Jess."
He doesn't respond, but he looks back at her with unusual patience; an inkling of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He feels Doula place a supportive hand on his arm before saying,
"I'm going to go have some of that cake Sookie made. With Lorelai and Rory circling the table, I have a feeling it's not going to last much longer."
He meets her eyes and nods, "save me a slice."
He turns back to Liz as Doula walks away. Staying silent for as long as he can is most comfortable for him when in situations with her, but with his sister's words on his mind he says,
"I am…" he starts, running a hand through his hair, "Rory and I are…beyond excited."
His mother's smile widens, and she places a hand over her heart.
"She's going to be a wonderful mother. Growing up with someone like Lorelai, how can she not be?"
That sours his softness towards her a little bit, and the hint of a smile on his mouth twists itself into a frown.
"Does that mean someone without great parents can't be a great parent?"
Her shoulders and face drop, she shakes her head.
"Of course I don't think that! I just said you're going to be amazing," she reiterates, and holds his eye contact, "I'm not oblivious to the fact that you do not have me to thank for that. Or your father."
"You can just call him Jimmy."
"Right," she nods once, "and you say that he's going to be in your daughter's life, right? Like…we should expect him at next Thanksgiving?"
Jess sighs, "I don't know those kinds of details yet, Liz. I just barely made amends with him two months ago. But, yes. I do hope he's present."
Liz looks away from him then, towards the floor as her arms cross over her chest. He briefly rolls his eyes up towards the ceiling, and then forces himself to say the words that will turn this conversation around.
"Liz," she looks up at him, "I hope you're around too."
Her whole face brightens, and she takes him by surprise as she wraps him up in a hug.
"I will be, Jess. I will be," she squeezes hard and then pulls back, holding the small bag out to him, "here. For you."
He looks at it, "oh, I think we're doing that new thing where we take the gifts home and open them there."
She shakes the bag.
"This one is just for you. There's a gift for Rory and the baby over there."
He pauses, stricken with confusion, before taking the bag from her hands. Her voice is soft with remorse as she explains,
"I know that you won't remember, and that you might not believe me, and I don't blame you but, I swear I was a decent mom for the first few years of your life."
The bag still sits in his hands, as he listens with a hardening look.
"I took care of you. I really did. It just…things got hard by myself, and then I was old enough to buy alcohol and well…anyway. I have a few things from when you were little. This is one of them Go ahead, open it."
He's instinctively annoyed, as any discussion with her about his childhood usually brings about this feeling, but he keeps quiet and opens the bag. He pulls out an old, somewhat beat up, copy of a Dr. Seuss book. He finally meets her eyes.
"I think I'm a little old for Mr. Brown Can Moo, don't you think?"
"Oh stop," she laughs, "it's for you to read to your little girl, Jess. This was a gift, I don't remember from who. Probably Luke. Anyway, I read it to you whenever you got fussy as a baby, and then read it to you before bed when you were a toddler. You loved it."
He swallows, feeling a little uneasy about the sentiment of her gift, and just stares at it in his hands.
"I thought this would be a good thing to pass on, since you and Rory are bookworms. I'm sure your kids will be too," her smile softens to a vulnerable looking frown as she continues, "I know I gave you hardly anything that you would want to share with your family. I regret that deeply. But don't let that taint everything about your childhood. This, this book and reading to you, they were good things. I hope you'll be comfortable sharing that with your daughter."
He takes a deep breath, still not quite sure what to say. The unease is accompanied now by a confusing gratitude; he realizes that it is good to have something safe from his childhood to share with his kids. He knows how curious children can be, and when they ask him about his own life…it will be nice to not have to lie or only share stories from his adult years. He turns his eyes on Liz then and offers her the lightest nod and the tiniest smile he can.
"Thank you."
She nods back and says quietly, "there's something else in there too. Open the book."
He frowns again and waits a beat before doing as she says. As he opens the cover, he finds a plain white envelope with his name on it.
"You want me to open this too?" he asks without looking away from it. She chuckles.
"Yes. It's important and you should put it somewhere safer."
With furrowed brows he pulls the envelope out and places the book back in its gift bag. He opens the flap of the envelope and immediately sees that inside is a check. His eyes shoot up to hers.
"What's this for? We don't need your money."
"That's fine, because it's technically your money."
Further confused, he pulls the check out to see it's written out to him for four thousand and two hundred dollars. The number is familiar, and he looks back up at her to confirm what it is.
"I'm paying you back. From when you, and Luke, got us caught up on our mortgage before."
He exhales a heavy breath, envisioning that time that he found they were on the brink of losing the house.
"Liz…I didn't ask you to pay me back. I don't expect it."
"You're not responsible for my nonsense, Jess," she argues in a regretful tone, "and yet you stepped in and handled things that I…refused to deal with back then. Please take the money. If not for yourself, put it in a little savings account for your daughter."
"Rory and I do just fine -"
"Just take it. Please."
Though he is still uncomfortable with the prospect, he gives a half nod in response and tucks the envelope into his back pocket.
"Thanks."
His eyes are drawn then past where Liz stands in front of him, and he finds Rory walking towards them; one hand on her bump and the other holding a plate with cake on it.
"I'll talk to you later," he excuses himself, stepping quickly to meet Rory halfway.
"I saved you some cake," she holds it out to him with a sweet grin.
"Thank you," he takes it and leans in to kiss her cheek, "will you come sit with me while I eat it?"
She smiles wider and nods, following his comfortable pace over to a table. He watches as she sits down slowly, sighing out a breath as she leans back in her seat.
"Are you enjoying your party?" he asks as he eats a bite of cake.
"It's our party," she corrects him, "and that's my favorite part about it. That they surprised both of us."
His eyebrow lifts, "that's your favorite part? Not this insane cake? It tastes like chocolate…and chai?"
She giggles, "yes, it's chocolate cake with chai buttercream. It goes great with coffee if you want some."
He shoots her a look, "decaf right?"
"I'm sure it goes great with either decaf or regular coffee," she replies playfully; he continues to stare at her. She laughs.
"Yes, you crazy man. I had decaf with my cake."
He nods and takes another bite, "Just making sure. Out of morbid curiosity, how much cake did you eat?"
"More than one slice but less than six."
He cocks his head and states, "it's a wonder how you passed the glucose test for gestational diabetes."
"My body is certainly experienced with processing sugar. It's no wonder at all," she replies with a clever smirk.
He grins in appreciation of her, both her mind and her body. As he looks her over, his eyes catch onto a rose gold necklace he doesn't remember seeing before. He nods towards it.
"That's pretty. Where'd it come from?"
She holds it between gentle fingers and smiles warmly.
"Mom gave it to me. I don't know if I ever told you, but remember that day she showed up at my apartment in Queens? And you had slept over and we sort of got into a fight."
"Oh, I remember," he mutters in a way that makes her nervous about bringing it up; but then he looks at her with his warm honey eyes and says, "it was right before you made a lot of important changes in your life. It's not a bad memory."
She pushes hair behind her ear, "that's a generous portrayal of events."
"I disagree," he responds firmly, "and I'm still waiting to hear the story behind this necklace."
Her smile expands and she continues,
"Mom wanted to take me to Tiffany's to buy something nice just for me. Since it was supposed to be my last Christmas without a child. So, I guess she took the baby shower as an opportunity to do that for me now. She gave it to me a little while ago, you were busy talking to Brandon I think, and I put it on right away." She looks down at the necklace and holds up the single rose gold heart pendant attached to it, "she said since it's just for me, it's one heart but that she will gladly add more hearts as we have kids if I want. It made me cry. It's so thoughtful."
He stands up slightly to place a kiss on her head, running his fingers briefly through her hair in a cherishing motion. When he sits back down, she meets his eyes and holds his hand on the table.
"So that's why she showed up unannounced that morning," he surmises with a cute grin, "to take you for breakfast at Tiffany's."
She laughs but it quickly turns into a yawn.
"You feeling okay?" he asks with an intent look.
She shrugs, "I'm tired, and my back is bothering me. Nothing unusual."
"Party is almost over, right?"
"Mhm, then we have to celebrate mom's birthday at the house," she looks carefully at him, "why? Is Liz bothering you?"
He begins to shake his head, then shrugs.
"Not too much," he eyes her as she yawns again, "just want you to rest."
"I could use a nap."
He puts his fork down, "then let's leave. Before it ends. So, you'll have time to sleep at the house."
"We can't leave our own party early."
"Why not? It's not like we threw it ourselves. For all they know, we could have had plans."
"Well," she looks up at the clock on the wall, "they probably need to start preparing for dinner service soon anyway. I guess we can go."
He stands up then and holds a hand out to her, helping her from the chair. She pauses with her hand on her stomach, and he asks, attempting to mask any panic in his voice,
"What's wrong?"
After a second she shakes her head and looks normal again.
"Braxton hicks. Nothing bad, just caught me by surprise."
He looks her over, "You sure?"
She nods, "yes, it's no big deal. Really. Sometimes it hurts a little but it's fine."
He nods reluctantly and starts walking hand in hand with her to Luke and Lorelai.
"We're heading out. If you can hold the gifts somewhere, I'll grab them later."
Luke waves a hand, "don't worry about it. I'll pack them in my truck for you."
"Wait, you can't leave!" Lorelai cries.
"Why not?" Jess questions, his tone quickly edging on harsh.
"Because! You just - you can't go back to the house without us."
"I just really need a nap somewhere quiet," Rory explains, leaning her head against Jess's shoulder.
Luke gives Lorelai a look then before turning to them.
"Go to the house and rest. It's okay. It doesn't have to be a whole thing, I just renovated your room a little bit."
"What?" Rory gasps in happy surprise, "When?!"
"Before the party. That's why I was late. There's a bigger bed in there now, I moved some empty furniture out and into storage. And there's a little crib thing, for when the baby comes, and you stay over."
"All his idea, by the way," Lorelai says proudly, turning to her husband with a bright look of love.
"Oh Luke!" Rory throws her arms out for a hug, which he carefully returns, "thank you so much. That's so sweet."
Jess meets his eyes over Rory's shoulder and nods in agreement.
"Thank you."
"Our home is your home too. You should be comfortable there always," he mumbles modestly in response, "Go ahead, go back to the house and rest. We'll see you later."
Jess puts his book down on the arm of the couch in the Gilmore living room; the one where he technically saw Rory for the first time, in pictures, before meeting her in person in her room nearby. The TV on in front of him, volume turned down a while ago when Rory fell asleep with her head in his lap. He looks down at her then, her cheeks rosy from a restful slumber, her long hair pulled back into something messy but out of her face. His eyes follow the rest of her form; the rise and fall of her round breasts beneath an oversized shirt (that's not actually oversized where her stomach is concerned), and down to the beautiful bump that he's been fully infatuated with at every phase of its growth. One of her hands rests on its side near her hip, and her legs are curled up beneath it as she lies sideways on the couch. He knows beneath her stomach is a pillow, though there's no sign of it against the swelling that covers it up.
His eyes are still locked on her form, lips curved tenderly in appreciation, when the front door to the house opens. Panics surges in his chest, not because of anything threatening - he knows nothing bad happens in Stars Hollow, but because he's afraid whoever is coming in is going to wake her up.
"Hello?"
He turns his head to see his sister standing nearby; he lifts a finger to his lips to quiet her. She rolls her eyes and steps closer to him.
"I thought we could all go for a walk and get ice cream before you go home," she whispers to him; her eyes turn to Rory, "but I guess she can't do that in her sleep."
He shakes his head.
"Sorry. It's getting harder for her to sleep at night. She needs this."
Doula sighs and takes a seat quietly in a nearby arm chair, facing the two of them on the couch. Jess watches as she looks between them, eyebrows furrowing in thought.
"What?" he whispers.
"Do you think you're having twins?"
His face drops and he gives her a hard look.
"What would possess you to say something like that?"
"Sorry! Her belly looks…big."
"There's a fucking baby in there, what do you expect it to look like? Given that we've had a million doctors' appointments over the last thirty weeks, it's safe to say we're not having twins."
"Jeez, you don't have to be so intense."
"Sure, and you don't have to be so insensitive."
She makes a face at him and crosses her arms over her chest. She sits back in the chair and observes them further. Jess picks up his book again to continue reading, when he hears her whisper once more.
"Jess?"
"What now?"
She leans forward on the chair, hands placed on the arm rests.
"Mom said I can get a tattoo before I turn eighteen."
He looks up at her from his book curiously and is met with a bright smile. He puts his book down.
"That's cool, but don't you turn eighteen this year?"
"Not until December. That's so far away!"
"Why do you want a tattoo?"
"Why not?"
"Okay then."
"I want you to take me. Will you?!"
He looks down at Rory, "I'm a little busy right now."
"Not right now, obviously," she rolls her eyes, "just before I turn eighteen. I'd rather go somewhere in New York, anyway. I asked Martha to ask Brandon for a list of places he likes, and he gave them to me today. I bet they're close to you!"
"I'm sure they are," he sighs and nods, "sure, I'll take you. Sometime before you turn eighteen. I don't know when, I'm going to be pretty busy the next couple months…and I guess every month after that too."
"It's okay, I can drive now so I'll come to you. And I just want something small, it will be a fast appointment. Oh, maybe I'll plan for it after the baby comes! So I can see her too."
"Just make a plan and let me know ahead of time. Do you know what you want a tattoo of?"
Her grin turns sheepish, "yes. I want pointe shoes. I think behind my ear."
He gives her an understanding smile.
"Sounds perfect for you."
Just then, Rory stirs in her sleep, and he once again holds a finger up to his lips to keep the conversation from continuing. He bends forward slightly to make sure she's still asleep and settles back with a book in his hand again.
"Do you think…" Doula starts after a solid few minutes of silence, and he looks up at her with an awaiting look, "do you think you would have been like this before? If you were like mom or Lorelai and had a baby really young. Would you have been like this?"
His eyebrow lifts high, "why are you asking?"
"I'm just curious. I feel lucky sometimes that mom had me later in life. It seems difficult to become a young parent."
He sighs and looks down at Rory, trying to be mindful of the kind of person he was back then, and admits quietly,
"As much as I would like to think I would have been, the honest answer is probably no. I don't think so. I did love Rory. But I was not emotionally mature enough, I don't think, to take care of her, or to adequately help prepare for a baby."
Doula nods slowly, as though she expected an answer along those lines. A small smile graces her lips, because she's pleased to know her brother so well and to have talks like this with him.
"I'm glad it's happening now then. Because you guys are really cute. Sometimes nauseating, but cute."
"Thanks. You're nauseating too."
The front door opens again then, and Jess winces as Lorelai's energetic 'hello' echoes through the house. He looks down at Rory to find her still fast asleep.
"Oops, sorry," Lorelai whispers as she steps into the living room, then smiles, "hi Doula!"
"Hi Aunt Lorelai. I wanted to go for a walk and get ice cream, but Rory needs to nap apparently."
"Aw, of course she does," Lorelai whispers with a happy smile on her face as she looks her daughter over from near the couch, "she's baking us a new friend! That's hard work."
"Can you two take your conversation to the kitchen maybe?" Jess whispers harshly, barely holding back an eye roll. Lorelai puts her hands on her hips.
"Only if you come with us! I'm dying to hear about your morning."
Doula turns sharply to look at him, "what did you do this morning?!"
His eyes roll upwards as he mutters to himself. Needing to move their discussion elsewhere, he carefully holds her head in his hand as he maneuvers out from under her. She doesn't whimper or wake up; he places the blanket on the back of the couch over her. He points to the kitchen and follows his sister and Lorelai inside. She immediately starts working on a pot of coffee; Jess leans against the counter nearby with his arms crossed over his chest, and Doula starts digging into the snack cabinets.
"So?!" Lorelai asks impatiently once the coffee starts percolating, "How was the meeting with Stalin? Did Rory give into her demands?"
"Stalin? Demands?!" Doula asks in confusion, voice partially muffled by the cookie in her mouth.
"Emily wants to buy them a house," Lorelai fills her in quickly and then turns back to Jess, "so?"
"A house?!" Doula exclaims, "can I move in?"
"Doul, I love ya but let him answer! I'm begging you."
He half smirks at their exchange, and when both sets of eyes turn on him, he shrugs.
"We came to an agreeable compromise."
"I guess I'll get comfortable here at the edge of my seat," Lorelai mumbles in annoyance, reaching into the cabinet for a coffee mug.
"I'll take one if you don't mind. Rory not sleeping well means that I don't sleep well either."
Lorelai gives him a big, cunning grin, "you'll have to pay the troll toll, my friend."
"The troll toll?"
"Always Sunny? You lived in Philly didn't you? Watching it has to be a requirement for living there."
"No, believe it or not, the city of Philadelphia has less strict rules than Lorelai world."
"Whatever," she shakes her head, "tell me if you and Rory are going to be living like Friends or more like The Fresh Prince!"
"Certainly not Fresh Prince. They don't make houses like that in the city."
"Don't forget I'm the keeper of the coffee, Jess!"
"You're being infuriating," Doula adds on with a huff. He chuckles and finally tells them,
"We are getting a house under the agreement that we pay the mortgage, and Emily is going to make the down payment and pay the property taxes."
"That's so cool! What does it look like?! Is there a guest room for me?" Doula exclaims excitedly.
"And me!" Lorelai adds, passing him a mug of coffee. He takes a sip and shakes his head.
"We have to see them first. Emily has a few in mind that she saw yesterday, but Rory and I need to figure out what we want and tour them and do our own research. Otherwise, it feels like it's really just a gift."
"Totally understand that," Lorelai smiles and bats her eyes as she asks, "any of those options happen to be in Stars Hollow?"
"So that our children can be under the microscope? No."
Lorelai pouts.
"Children? You said no twins," Doula asks with a raised brow.
He gives her a look, "do you not like having a brother? We're planning to give her a sibling or two."
"How about Hartford? That's not so far for me to visit every day."
Jess turns to Lorelai, prepared to continue bantering with her, but he notices some raw hope in her look. He takes a second before responding, wanting her to know that he understands and he's taking her seriously. In a soft, comforting tone he says,
"I asked her, Lorelai. I promise," he sets his coffee mug on the counter, and leans against it on one hand as he meets her eyes, "she wants to stay in the city. I would have promoted someone to manage Truncheon day to day and worked remotely, if she wanted to live here instead, or anywhere else."
Lorelai softens and nods. She takes a couple sips of her coffee and regards him.
"You always seem to have things figured out."
He runs a hand through his hair and shrugs, "so do you. It's sort of a…survival thing, isn't it? Being prepared for anything?"
She gives him a soft smile, appreciating their similarities.
"I would say you're a little more flexible than me," she shrugs her shoulders up, "I wouldn't even leave this house for another one in Stars Hollow."
He smirks, "I am much more flexible than you in that regard."
"Who wanted you to move?" Doula pipes up then.
"Oh, your Uncle Luke wanted to buy us a big old house in town," she waves her hand, "he would have regretted it though. The house was so ridiculously big that I would have put an intercom in every room so I could constantly babble to him no matter where he was."
"You would have needed him to install them, would you not?" Jess teases and she sticks her tongue out at him.
"Anway, what I was trying to oh so nicely say before," she gestures as she speaks, "is that the whole being a step ahead thing will certainly come in handy for you as a father. Most of the time. Sometimes though, kids will still throw you for a major loop. Like Rory and Dean. Or Rory and the yacht," she mumbles at the end.
"I've had practice," he turns and looks pointedly at Doula, who then also sticks her tongue out at him, "I'm ready, or prepared I guess I should say."
"You totally are," Lorelai agrees, and gives him a scheming smile, "so when do you start hiring for the daycare? I have a great resume."
He chuckles, "you can't commute every day."
"Maybe just weekends then!"
"Your granddaughter won't be there on weekends."
"Damnit, I don't want to take care of other kids."
"Can I get a job there? I can sleep in the spare room of your new house," Doula proposes, "I would love to see my niece all the time."
"By the way, do you guys have any names picked out yet? I can only say granddaughter so many times."
"Sorry grandma," he mocks with a smirk, but his look settles as he replies, "we've discussed it, even implemented experiments to see if she's partial to any name in particular. But nothing really feels…"
"Special enough?" Lorelai finishes his thought with a warm look. He rubs his neck in semi-embarrassment.
"It sounds conceited to say that."
"No, no. Not at all," Lorelai insists kindly, "she is special. She's…made up of all these pieces of you and Rory. Not that Rory is not special to me, you know I'm obsessed with my daughter. But there wasn't…all this history behind her creation like you guys have. It was terribly easy to name her after me. But for you two, after everything, after what happened to her before…I get it, Jess. I do."
A shaky breath rolls through him in response to the weight of Lorelai's words; his tongue feels heavy with its inability to express his gratitude - for her understanding and for her recognition of their love. He looks away as he gathers his thoughts, but his attention gets caught by his sister's watering eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asks, and she hastily wipes a hand across her eyes.
"I'm fine!" she exclaims and looks at Lorelai, "that was really sweet is all."
Lorelai tsks kindly and wraps an arm around her shoulders to embrace her. She looks again at Jess and defends, "I'm getting my period soon."
He holds his hands up, "you don't need to defend yourself. I was just making sure you're alright."
"How about Belinda?!" Lorelai grins, bringing lightness to the conversation again, "that's a special name. I can't believe Rory gave me that signed record! I wasn't even holding a grudge about it or anything."
"Every time she's been in a record store since then she's looked."
"What an angel," Lorelai sighs, "by the way, Lorelai is a special name."
His reply is humorless as he says, "I know that."
She grins at the implication of his words.
Suddenly Doula gives him a familiar wicked look, "you can name her after me."
"No."
"You could have at least considered it!"
He makes a face, and just looks back at her as Lorelai continues to hug her sideways. As he looks between them, he's reminded of something he thought of the previous day during their dance routine at the baby shower.
He says then to Doula, "I'll pretend to consider it if you can help me with something."
"Me? Help you?"
He nods, "there's one thing at least that I'm not prepared for yet. That I want to be able to do."
Her whole face rises in suspense, silently waiting for the vexing conclusion of this request.
"Your hair yesterday. It was in braids, right?"
She nods slowly, "yes. Braided pigtails."
He nods too. He stands up straight, and humbly asks,
"Can you please teach me? How to braid hair?"
A smile slowly grows wide on her face. She nods repeatedly.
"Of course," she turns to Lorelai, "mind if I use you as a model?"
"Be my guest, I love a free hair design."
Doula skips to the table and pulls a chair out for her. Lorelai takes a seat, and Doula gestures for Jess to join her. He walks to stand next to her, standing a good five inches taller than her, yet she holds all the power in this situation. As she starts to part Lorelai's hair and fire off instructions, he looks down at her and places a hand on her shoulder. She stops talking and meets his eyes.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," she grins, "anything for my brother. And my niece. And my sister in law."
He chuckles and squeezes her shoulder.
"But," she continues, "you'll tell her one day that I taught you, right? I need her to know that."
He laughs again and playfully rolls his eyes.
"Of course. I'll tell her. She'll know you've always been the cool aunt."
"Perfect. Now, focus so I don't have to show you a hundred times."
"Yes ma'am."
AN: for those that might be wondering, i plan for the birth to happen within the next two chapters