Chapter 29: Deep End

TW: This chapter deals with suicide along side mentions of sexual assault.

Nobody had seen Leora since the stomach churning dinner with Minister Thistlewood and all the living victors. Her terrified eyes made its home in the back of Sera's mind whenever she thought about the older victor.

How terrifying it must've been for her to learn that her 'workload' increased. The way she trembled expressed how Sera was feeling when Minister Thistlewood announced her own increase of 'workload'.

Now she was the one who needed the pity.

She was so careful, so meticulous yet she still didn't know how it happened. Whenever she thought about the fact that soon she'd be selling her body, she shook violently as she wrapped her arms around herself to stop herself.

Finnick's promise echoed in her mind. He promised he'd try to help her but how? He couldn't even help himself. She didn't know what to do.

Things were only getting worse for Sera as the new decade of games officially began and she was called in mid-preparations to take Leora's place again.

Another year.

The second year, Sera was filling in for Leora. The year before she had no complaints but now, she couldn't afford to take Leora's place again.

Her aunt's sickness had gotten worse again and now her brother was heavily injured, she had her hands full. To Sera, it was clear her aunt may not make it through this time. She wanted to be by her side through it all. Ramiel was getting through it but aunt Dahlia wouldn't.

Unfortunately, things didn't work out that way for her. First Huxley was chosen as the mentor then Leora fell 'ill' again, Estelle offered to go in Sera's place to everyone's surprise but Minister Thistlewood insisted Sera replace Leora, much to her annoyance. That man was determined to ruin her. He even commanded her to hurry to sell herself in the absence of President Snow.

It angered Sera which was another surprise for her, she never knew she could feel such rage against anyone yet she did.

She hated how she foolishly believed she had done enough to be safe.

She hated how Plutarch Heavensbee was right.

Most of all she hated Janus Thistlewood.

Ever since the night of Director Walston's ball, Minister Thistlewood had taken a strange interest in her. He had asked her age once and eyed her before asking her to come visit her when she had time.

Back then, Scarus, thankfully, carefully turned his offer down. He made sure to mention the President. He tried to do the same as the dinner but clearly it didn't work. Instead, Minister Thistlewood offered Sera to him. She felt like breaking when she heard those words. Scarus accepted his godfather's offer claiming he did so out of protection. She didn't believe him. She knew the way he looked at her just because she threw a small grain of kindness his way and like a starved dog he had pounced, refusing to let her go with anyone or be with her own thoughts. His mother was right.

The world was unfair to her. She did everything she could. She hid her true nature and her thoughts, erased her emotions and buried her desires, for what? To be used and abused, eaten and spat out by those pathetic people who looked like a flock of exotic birds. She'd rather die.

It was true she valued her life over everything including her thirst for knowledge. She'd decided she'd look the other way and play along with the rest of the victors. She'd play the innocent lamb they wanted, so long as she kept her peace. It was all she wanted, her peace. Even if Finnick had told her the secret behind the curtains, she'd act as if she didn't know. She'd look the other way while everyone around her bled, cried, screamed and pleaded. It was as long as she had her peace but that was now wishful thinking—all gone thanks to that bastard of a man called Janus Thistlewood.

With much difficulty she managed to negotiate with the President a little, she would temporarily take over Leora's place, however, she'd have to check in with her. In turn, President Snow would discuss her extra 'workload' with Minister Thistlewood. A very bleak deal and Sera knew Leora was breaking inside—if she wasn't broken already. Sera wasn't a fool, she had seen the marks and the constant visit of Leora to her aunt's shop were not to buy flowers rather painkillers, healing balms or pills for sleeping. Like always, she had looked the other way and minded her own business.

Unlike the year before, Leora was not admitted to a hospital. A week before the chariot parade, Leora disappeared. There was no sign of her. She never showed up at the training center. Her apartment at the Victoria Building was locked but it wasn't checked as Leora hardly spent time there. They found no sign of her anywhere else.

Leora Shelley had disappeared.

Sera decided to check her apartment again. She knocked once at Leora's door. No answer. She knocked a few more times and pressed the doorbell. Still no answer. Taking a step back she took a breath in and let it go before taking a step forward.

With her shaking hand, she reached for the door knob and carefully turned it over. She expected it to be locked but to her surprise, the door opened. She expected the worst already.

The door creaked and moaned as it opened. "Sera." Sera flinched, her heart nearly jumping out of her chest as she turned on the spot to glare at Finnick. "What are you doing here?"

"I should say the same to you." Sera answered, patting her chest to calm her nervous heart.

Finnick smiled and held the door open for her while ushering her in. "Looks like I'm not the only one who has a habit of breaking into people's apartments."

"I'm not breaking in, I'm checkin' on Leora." She paused and quietened down before looking around. "...President Snow asked me to look for her. She's been missing for a while."

"Oh." Finnick's smile faltered and he swallowed thickly before looking away. He knew something. "There's…a chance that she's…you know…busy…with—"

"I considered it but no." She cut him off and brushed past him to check the halls. "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He said with a grin. "I followed you."

"You need a hobby."

"I have one, right here." He pointed at her and she rolled her eyes, exasperated by his flamboyant behavior.

Leora wasn't anywhere to be found but she did find a sad Wells in the kitchen. "What are you doing here?"

Slowly, Wells looked up. He looked haggard with reddish and dark eyes and sagging skin. "W-what do you think? I'm looking for Lee." He slurred out.

Pushing her behind his back, Finnick stood in front of her, much to Sera's annoyance. She didn't need a guard and Wells was not a threat to her. "How long have you been here?"

"J-just arrived—broke the door or the lock, not sure, which." Wells coughed and slurred before looking at the young victors. "What are you two doing in 'ere?"

"Looking for Leora." Sera spoke from behind Finnick's back.

Wells snickered seeing the two before his laughs turned to violent coughs. Between his coughs, the distant sounds of running water could be heard. Sera turned and quietly walked around the apartment.

"She's…not in her room. I checked." Wells said, following her.

But Sera wasn't looking in Leora's bedroom. "Did you check the bathroom?" She carefully asked. Wells stood still and then shook his head. He didn't check.

Sucking in a deep breath, Sera prepared for the worst and carefully knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. She tried again and again but silence and the sound of water running was all that greeted her. Finnick and she stared at one another, silently debating whether or not the two should break the door.

Finnick, without wasting a moment, picked the lock, surprising her. She chose to not comment and went in but paused in horror.

A darkened flooded bathroom greeted them. Light from the bedroom reflected onto the watery floor of the bathroom. When the door opened, the water washed into the bedroom. Water covered the entire floor of the bathroom, soaking their feet and wetting their clothes in an instant. The three tried hard to get through the water but it kept rising like the drains in the bathroom were all blocked.

Suddenly, the faint stench of a familiar wet-iron hit their senses and the trio glanced at each other before looking down. They couldn't see much but they already suspected the worst. Wells stumbled backwards and hobbled over to the light switches, flicking them on.

Lights flickered on violently, nearly blinding the victors as Sera looked down and let out a sharp gasp of horror. The water was red. Swirls of red painted the rising waters that were nearly at her waist despite being drained a little mere moments ago.

The nauseating stench of blood disgusted her and made her stomach churn as she swallowed back the urge to vomit. Finnick reached for Sera and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up and holding her close. He covered her mouth and nose with his hands while whispering at her to go back but she couldn't. She had to find Leora.

Wells, in panic, hurried towards the end of the bathroom. The bathroom, like all the other bathrooms in the Victoria Building, were huge and was bigger than the living room back at Sera's childhood home. It was no wonder, Wells panicked.

"LEORA! LEE! LEORA! LEE!" Wells screamed out, half jumping, half swimming towards the end of the bathroom while Sera and Finnick floated towards him. "LEE! WHERE ARE YOU? ANSWER ME!" The typically relaxed man screamed out while his face turned red and white in pure panic. His eyes were wild and his face drenched in the bloody waters.

Sera's eyes caught the sight of a drain nearby. Like she had suspected, something was blocking its path. She tried to separate herself from Finnick but her unlikely friend tightened his grip on her.

"Are you insane?!" Finnick hissed at her. Annoyed, Sera pointed at the blocked drain. "Stay here." He left her near the showers and went down to unblock the drain.

She watched as he pulled at the heavy black silicone stopper before finally pulling it out with a hard tug. The water began to flow faster down the drain, it was getting easier to move around but there was still too much water. The stench of blood didn't fade either.

"You okay?" Sera asked, holding out her hand towards Finnick.

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm good. Could be better." Sera let out a soft laugh at his comment and said nothing else in response as he snaked his arm back around her waist and helped her find Wells.

Wells had dropped to his knees near the bathtub, sobbing uncontrollably while yelling soft 'No's'.

"Wells?" The man didn't answer and only cried hard.

"Julian?" Finnick called out instead and again the man only responded with louder sobs.

Nearly stumbling back, Sera gasped at the scene in front of her. Her eyes widened with fear and her lungs constricted, blocking her airways, making it harder for her to breath. Pain shot through her chest as she began to pant loudly and tears welled up in her eyes, blinding her.

Moving quickly, Finnick caught her in time and gently drew circles on her back with his fingers, trying to calm the bubbling panic and pain Sera was feeling. "Breathe." He quietly commanded, ignoring the pale unconscious figure of Leora Shelley and focusing on the panicking Sera. "Come on, Sera. Look at me." He turned Sera around, his hands still around her waist. "Focus."

Sera tried to follow his instructions but her vision was starting to cloud and darken. Finnick's face started to flicker and morph into another's. No. No. No. Not now, she almost cried out as Eugene's face started to appear in front of her before changing to Ripley's and then Gaius'. In fear, she shut her eyes.

It wasn't real.

They weren't real.

She tried to tell herself but she couldn't stop shaking. "Breathe…" Finnick's lips were close to her ears as he whispered words of comfort to her. "It's okay, just breathe. There you go, Sera. Come on, focus on my voice." His voice pulled her out of her fearful trance and she found herself huddled in his embrace.

Swiftly, Sera pulled away though Finnick was reluctant to let her go. She went over to Leora. Her pale body was half-submerged in the murky red water, only her eyes were above the water. With shaky hands, she reached out to pull Leora out.

In protective anger, Wells almost attacked Sera but Finnick held him off. "Pull her out." She breathed out.

Wells hurried to pull Leora's body out of the water. He took off his coat and laid it down on the floor. The water was almost gone.

He laid Leora down and without wasting time, he tilted her head back and lifted her chin, checking for Leora's breathing. When he couldn't hear anything, he laid her back down and placed his hands in the middle of her chest, one on top of another before pushing hard and fast while counting under his breath.

Sera huddled close to Finnick, counting along under her breath as she scanned the bathroom. She emptied the bathtub and it was only then did she notice a sharp blade at the bottom of the tub. Her eyes naturally went to Leora's body and only then did she notice the large cuts across her wrist on her right hand alongside dark circular marks that also littered her whole body and deep bruises as if her hands had been tied.

The cut was deep and horizontal, Leora had slashed her vein. Finnick followed her gaze and let out a pained breath when he noticed it.

This wasn't good.

Sera quickly dropped to the floor and crawled to the older victor and took off the satin scarf around her neck. She quickly tied it around Leora's wrist, stopping the blood flow as Wells continued to desperately bring her back to life.

"Julian…" Finnick called out to Wells but he was ignored. "Julian…" He tried again. "I think she's gon—" He never finished his sentence as Leora gasped loudly, sitting up.

Leora's chest rose and fell as she looked wildly around the room before letting out a loud and ugly cry. "NOOO!" She shrieked, hitting Wells before grabbing him by the collar. But she had no energy left, she dropped her hands and swayed side to side. "Please…" She sobbed softly. "Please…let me go." Her cries were haunting. "W-why…why didn't you let me die?"

Her former mentor stared at her in anger before sadness washed over him. His gaze softened and he took her hands into his. "You know I can't do that, Lee." He quietly tried to comfort her, brushing her damp hair back. "I promised…I can't let you die."

"I don't want to do this anymore. I can't—" She sobbed before violent coughs ripped through her. Finnick passed a dry bathrobe to Wells and he wrapped it around his former mentee as she shivered violently. "Please…" She cried, sobbing hysterically as hot angry tears rolled down her face. "Let me die. I can't—I can't live like this. PLEASE!"

"No. No. No, I can't, I'm sorry." Wells was sobbing with Leora as Finnick gently pulled Sera back, cradling her small body and almost blocking her view.

Carefully and gently as if Sera was made out of glass, Finnick tucked one of his arm under legs, the other on her back before he picked her up and carried her out of the disappearing murky bloody waters. Sera wasn't really paying attention, she was craning her head to look at Leora. If she was in her senses, her cheeks would be stained in a light pink shade or she'd make a fuss telling him to put her down.

Sera's face was tearstained, eyes red and there was indescribable pain in her chest. Oh. She was terrified. Leora. Leora might be her future. Being nothing more than a shell of a person who's only true purpose was to lay with random men and women she didn't know at night and kill random men and women during the day all with a smile on her face. Oh. This was going to be her future.

A choked gasp escaped her and she clutched the seat of sofa in Leora's apartment, only realizing she was on a sofa then. Finnick was crouched in front of her, his hands in hers.

"This is…this is my future isn't it?" She asked Finnick in a small voice, tears in her pinkish silvery eyes. He bowed his head in shame of not being able to give her the answer she wanted to hear. She let out a pained breath and tried to pull her hands away from his. "I don't want this! I don't wan—" She was about to choke on air as she struggled to breathe.

Cool hands cupped her face and shook her lightly, trying to break her out of her trance. Finnick had let go of her hands and cupped her face. "Look at me. That's not going to be you."

"No, I'm going to have it worse." She cried out, shaking violently. She wasn't stupid even if everyone tried their best to shield her from the horrors of the Capitol and the games—she knew the truth, she always knew that the moment she won, it wasn't over. She knew from simple observation that all the victors were miserable and that was before she was even reaped—she just didn't care, she just wanted to pretend like it was going to be fine. "You don't understand, I…I—" She couldn't find the words to tell him that she always knew more than she let on and that she had in her plan to stay in peaceful ignorance had accidentally won over many enemies on both sides of the conflict.

To President Snow, she was a liability. She saw it now. She was a problem that needed to be silenced or brought in line and he could only use her family for so long before she got overconfident and did something he didn't want her to. She knew too much from her job at the hospital. In just under two years, she knew secrets of dying Capitolites, many would kill to know but she just had to stroll in and tell those on their deathbeds some sweet yet believable lies, make them confess their deepest darkest secrets and then parrot it back to the President.

Didn't matter if the people she was screwing over wanted to stab President Snow in the back or wanted to see a change in Panem—she spilled all their secrets. She had so much blood on her hands, more than what she had spilled in the arena. Even then it wasn't her own hands she used to spill blood, outside the arena, she'd killed more than inside. Of course she had enemies.

Minister Thistlewood was just an opportunist. He was probably hoping the stress from her new 'responsibilities' coupled with what was going with Sera's family and her own health would lead her to an early grave but not before giving him a taste of Sera. It sickened her to even think about his hands—

"Everything's going to be fine. I'll do my best to make it eas—"

"I don't want it easy, Finnick. I don't want this at all." Said Sera, still half lost in the maze of her own thoughts.

"I'll help you."

She didn't need help. She needed a way out. "You don't get it. Scarus is going to be the first person that'll I'll be sleeping with and he hates me. I'm sure he fantasized me dead many times. I can't do this. I might as well just do what Leora did—"

"NO!" Finnick shouted, startling her. "No! You can't!" He held her head in his hands, forcing him to look at her. "Dying is easy. Once you go past that. There's nothing. People like you and me, we know that—we survived the arena. Don't…don't throw that away."

"We shouldn't have survived."

"Well we did and all we can do is make the best of what we have."

"We have nothing."

"Nothing except hope."

In disbelief she stared at him, pulling away, softly shaking her head. "Hope for a better future?" She asked sarcastically, tears threatening to spill.

"Yes, there's hope."

She swallowed all the curses she had in her that threatened to spill out of her like a fountain and took deep breaths. She needed to calm down. Leora or Wells could be listening. In a quiet and calm voice, she started to speak. "There is…no hope, Finnick. Look around you. Leora is not the only one falling apart. I know you're barely holding on and there's so many more. I saw Cashmere throw up her insides while being touched in places she didn't want by some random woman and an old man she didn't even know at some ball we went to." She struggled to stop herself from crying and let go of Finnick's hands, balling up her fists instead. Her nails dug into her flesh and all she tried to focus on was the pain. "I don't want that. I'm sorry I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am. I can't do this because I have no hope."

"You have hope. You have your family. Look at them and you can go on. I know you can. I know you're stronger than this."

If only things were that easy. "My aunt's dying. She's not going to make it to winter—to Nox—to her son's next birthday. Ramiel lost an arm, maybe next time it'll be his life—I don't know. Nox is going to be all alone and Talissa's life depends on how good Huxley and I'll be." The more she spoke, the more she realized that she was one blow away from losing everything. "I can't live in fear. I can't!" "I'm…scared…no…I'm terrified of the future…of Scarus…of everything."

Noticing what she was doing, Finnick took her hand back into his. He unfolded her hand and traced his fingers around the freshly made scars. "It'll be okay." He soothed. Deep down he didn't believe what he was saying but if a sweet lie could make her live, he'd lie to her face even if it hurt him to do so. "You'll be okay." He repeated, letting go to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"You promised." She spoke quietly, barely audible enough for him to hear but it was almost muffled by the voices of Leora and Wells in the other room. "You promised you'd be honest."

Finnick stared at her, unmoving. He did promise her. They both made a promise to be honest to each other on things they did speak about. He was stuck and she could see he was stuck. Torn between comforting her and preparing her for the worst. She could see the conflict in his eyes. Finnick was too good to tell her the truth but he needed to because that was what wanted. Her need was outweighed by her want.

"...I was fourteen, almost fifteen." He began. His calm composure breaking as he looked down at their joined hands. "The same 'proposition' came for me. I didn't get a choice or a…fancy dinner to 'welcome'—no, they just threw me in there." Bitterness seeped through his words even though he tried his hardest not to let it show. He was a little bitter about the choices Sera got but he never did. Still he understood her fears.

Sera tightened her hold on Finnick's hands as if to comfort him. "Finnick, I—"

He wasn't listening. "I said no. I said I'd rather die than sleep with some random man or woman ten times my age." He almost choked while speaking but he still persisted. "You know what they did. They took my family. My sweet supportive mother who begged me not to join the Careers' Academy back at Four, my strong father who could survive even the worst of storms and my little brothers who had a long life ahead of them—all gone." He had started trembling and she had to place a hand on his shoulder to steady him before he broke down in tears. "...All because I said no." He added in a quiet voice as he swallowed back his oncoming tears.

"I'm so sorry but…" She swallowed the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill from her ears. "Are you telling me to just give in?"

Finnick vigorously shook his head. That was the last thing he wanted "No. I'm saying I—we'll find a way out. Okay? I promise you. We'll be okay." He wasn't just looking at her. It was like he was speaking to his younger self. "I have hope and if worst comes to worst, I'll throw myself in there for you."

She didn't understand why? Why was he going that far for her? Was it because she saved his life once and stitched his wounds? She didn't understand. "Why…" She croaked out, voice broken from holding back her cries of despair. "Why would you do that? For me?" She had to know if there was something more, maybe a little light in the hole she'd been pushed into. "I didn't do anything for you."

"Is that how you see it?" The laughter and chatter from the dinner night at Sera's apartment still echoed in his ears and he smiled fondly, remembering how happy they all were. He wanted to remember those times. Most of all he remembered how happy she was. Seraphine was kinder than she acted. He knew that first hand. "You have no idea what you've done for me and…besides, we don't need to do anything for eachother to care about one another and I know you care about me."

"More than I can admit." She muttered, looking away as a faint redness coated her cheeks but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared when she heard the sounds of footsteps.

Abruptly, she stood up, letting his hands fall and leaving him sitting on the floor. There was still a tinge of pink on her cheeks and the redness from her eyes but the blank smile on her face told him everything.

Leora hobbled into the living room, changed into a simple but thick robe dress. Her weight was supported by Wells. She looked a little better than before, her arms were poorly bandaged—a work of Wells, no doubt.

Sera motioned the older victor to sit down before she disappeared out of the apartment to go up to hers. She came back a few minutes later to find the three remaining victors in a heated argument and Leora in tears, covering her face.

"You two do know you shouldn't agitate patients, right?" Sera eyed the three victors in the room and dragged a heavy box of first aid inside. Zephyr, Mags and Huxley followed behind, with Huxley locking the front door once they were safely inside. Finnick got up to help her and she handed him the box to take a seat on the floor in front of Leora.

"Easier for you to say." Wells grumbled under his breath. She raised a brow and stared at him to carry on. Her gaze was heavy on him, her silver orbs felt sharp, like daggers piercing through him and he had no choice but to look away. "You're so detached from all of this that you don't even care."

"Is that how you see it?" Wells wasn't completely wrong. He was partly right.

"That—"

Sera placed her hand on Finnick's, silencing him. "Maybe, but we all know I'm right." She unwrapped the bandages on her wrists and took a moment to observe them. "...I suppose I'll be filling in for you for another year." She said, cleaning her wounds with a cotton pad soaked with antiseptic before tossing those used cotton pads into a bag alongside the bloodied bandages that she planned to burn later on.

To say Leora's arms were hard to look at would be an understatement on Sera's part. Long deep cuts marred skin, exposing her flesh as if she had not only cut her skin but also attempted to dig or tunnel into her veins. There were also some odd bruises that swelled up a little dotted around her arms and neck. Love bites—was that what Clarisse called them? Sera couldn't recall though she did recoil in disgust when she saw them, she couldn't help herself, she was haunted by them. Some scratches were also littered on her neck—Sera couldn't tell if it was Leora's own doing or someone else. Nevertheless, she had to treat them.

Leora stiffened at Sera's touch and shook her head a little. "You don't…have to." She said quietly.

"No." Sera breathed out sharply, her gaze flickered to Leora's. "I don't but we all know I don't call the shots." And she didn't have any much of a choice in the things she did like forcing herself to sell her own body.

"I'll be fine…just give me a day or two."

"Like you will." Wells barked out and Sera rolled her eyes, already tired of this. "Look at yourself Lee. You're not in any shape to mentor anyone or do anything."

"I'm fine." Leora grounded out. "If," She struggled to breathe but tried her best to speak. Finnick got up to grab her a glass of water. "If they see me like this—if they find what I tried to do then we're all screwed." She tried to touch her wounds but Sera swatted her hand away and worked to clean them properly.

Nobody spoke for a while until Finnick decided to after handing Leora a glass of water. "...Then maybe you shouldn't have made an attempt on your life." He commented. There was no kindness in his tone and one look at him, anyone could tell he was furious.

The room's temperature dropped a few degrees, Sera almost looked away but she focused on the task in front of her instead of the brewing storm. Mags placed her small hand on Finnick's shoulder to hold him back from attacking Wells while Zephyr, sitting on the arm of the sofa, kept his gaze on his former mentor—he didn't want to get himself involved in this dispute.

Wells stood up and stomped towards the younger victor. "Say that again!" He barked out. "Go on! Say it again!" He kept on trying to goad Finnick.

"I said she shouldn't have tried to kill herself." Finnick repeated his words, not even moving or reacting to the District 5 victors. "Believe me, I know what she's going through—she's been doing this longer than me but let's think about it—if her attempts were successful and they discovered her, we would all be screwed."

Mid-action, Sera paused. Up until finding Leora, she hadn't been thinking about the repercussions of the older victor's actions. Too busy lamenting her future fate, she didn't even think about Finnick's words and it seemed neither did any of the other victors in the room.

Mags looked down at her own hands, wrinkly and scarred before she nodded. She backed off from her former mentee and sat down next to Leora. "He's…right." She said in a small voice, shocking Wells whose face crumpled in anguish. Of course, Finnick was right. If one victor makes a mistake then they all suffer. "...S-she w-as reckless. W-we would be punished because of her."

"He is." Zephyr chorused despite not wanting to take part in the dispute, he had found himself agreeing with Finnick. He looked away and ruffled his hair before carrying on. "Look, I'm sure Leora had a reason and I'm…sure it's tough but we all need to remember that we are in some ways a big team—it's hard to understand but we saw what happened at the last Presidential dinner…" Sera flinched as if she had been pricked by his words. "Leora and Cashmere were picked to do more than their usual share of work because Gladius died and then Sera had to join them and I know it's only a…" He struggled to speak, breathing out heavily as if he was in pain and covering his mouth to silence himself for a second before he could carry on. Mags patted his back in attempts to comfort him. "...I know—I know it's only a matter of time before they sell me too. I know what my future is like, it'll be harder if—if Leora did succeed."

"So you all want her to suffer? Look I don't want her dead but the least you all could do is comfort her!" Wells vigorously shook his head, disappointed that no one, not one single person was being sympathetic to Leora.

"She needs help." Finnick pointed out. "We're not saying we don't sympathize with her because I definitely do—nobody knows what it feels like to be us—to be in th-that spot than me. I just think she needs help."

"She does, it's long overdue." Sera chimed in, grabbing a medicinal spray Scarus had given her to treat some self-inflicted wounds. She did have a habit of digging her nails into her palms whenever she was angry or frustrated, unfortunately her guard had noticed. She uncapped the spray and sprayed it thrice on each arm, waiting for the coats of spray to dry before repeating her actions. "Leora needs help. You two can't keep doing this."

"Doing this?" Finnick echoed. He glanced between Leora and Wells then turned to Sera. He wasn't the only one, even Huxley was staring at her. "What do you mean by that? Sera?"

Huxley sighed, he had been ignoring the two since he found out about their secret. In the past, he chose to stay silent and on the side to look after Talissa and Clarisse but unfortunately, he couldn't stay silent anymore. "She means it's not Leora's first attempt."

"What?" Zephyr stood up, shocked and horrified. "Wait. You've tried before!"

Sera ignored Zephyr and picked up where Huxley left off. "Two winters ago, you tried to drown yourself and in turn, Wells saved you but you managed to hurt your foot. I remember because you came in for treatment at the store." Leora didn't meet her gaze. "You also tried to overdose yourself on some of the medicinal herbs my sister prescribed you, not once but at least a few times. Last summer—" A quiet sizzle interrupted her as the spray began to work and Leora's flesh slowly to heal. First it appeared like her skin was melting and re-joining. Sera didn't focus on Leora's arms and carried on. "Last summer, you asked me if District 5 was home to any poisonous plants—"

"I was just curious." Leora quietly tried to defend herself.

"You asked me if there were any poisonous plants and I said yes and you asked me then how and where I could find them. I told you I couldn't tell you. Then you asked me if I know when lake Leuce is the least busiest."

"I've seen you picnic with your family near that lake."

Sera stared at Leora, unmoving. Her heavy gaze caused the older victor to look away again. "President Snow asked me to check on you." Everyone snapped towards Sera who had stood up.

Leora looked up with wide trembling eyes. "...When?" She croaked out, her voice hoarse. She was afraid. Good. Perhaps fear would hold her back from being reckless.

"Last night. I had another meeting with him. I know it's not a secret that I've been meeting with the President."

"How nice. Another Porter." Leora chuckled sadly before her laughs turned to coughs. "But you're not Porter, are you? Porter would've ran to tell 'em."

"I'll tell him that you're not well and that you might need mental help."

Leora scoffed but Mags stopped her from saying anything that might set Sera off. "...That's a good idea. They go easy on the—" Mags paused, her face scrunched up as she tried to think of a kinder word to describe people like Leora.

"Damaged." Finnick finished. "They go easy on damaged goods." He spat out, immediately he regretted it and turned away. "You need help."

"But Sera can't take my place, her aunt and her family—" Leora tried to argue but Sera couldn't say anything in response without hurting her feelings so she shrugged.

"We don't have any other options." Huxley quietly commented.

Nobody said a word after that. Sera tried to stifle the bitterness she felt inside and busied herself destroying any evidence that might hint to Leora's suicide attempts. Finnick helped her but she wanted to be alone, of course he didn't let her. Zephyr hovered behind the two while Huxley tried his best to keep peace between Leora and Wells, it was nice that Mags was there or nobody knew how wrong things could've gone after that.

The more Sera thought about what almost happened, the more terrified she became. Her mind was a mess and between the chaos she could only think of the pot of lily of the valley back at her apartment, resting in her plant nursery.

Author's note: Heavy chapter with some heavy topic, I'm not sure if I did it justice.

That being said, I don't typically write these kinds of notes but I feel like I've been forced to. Someone or a group of people have been leaving my stories some 'interesting' review spams where they advertise their stories, I don't mind story suggestions or ideas. I do enjoy reading reviews, comments, critiques and conversations but I have to draw line at being threatened to have my stories taken down because I won't give them a review or check out their stories (some of them contain vore and other disturbing stuff). Please refrain from doing those sort of things. I will be posting this note on my other stories as well because they've also been targeted, fortunately, I've managed to have those guest reviews deleted as quickly as I saw them but once again, I would appreciate if people don't do those things or I will be forced to permanently stop uploading here, move to AO3 and Wattpad completely. That's just me mentioning the extreme case scenarios.

If anyone would like to keep up with me on those sites, I go by 'Fireflower17' on AO3 and 'Sylerisya' on Wattpad. I don't want to stop uploading here, this was where I first started uploading my stories and I'd hate to leave because of a few persistent people.

That's all I have to say. As always, happy reading!