Chapter 60: Trust

Only when the sun rose did their train leave the station, Zephyr stared out at the rising sun, his eyes bloodshot as he played around with an antiqued pocket watch, almost hidden away in the cover of his dark blue-gray coat. Sera did nothing but turn pages of an old worn-out book that once belonged to her aunt.

Illustration of flowers and plants covered each page along with printed words in black that were underlined or highlighted. It was accompanied by scribbles that were either done by her late aunt or her grandfather who she never knew. She didn't know but along their notes was her in black ink, blending in with the other scribbles.

"It's stupid." Zephyr said, watching the Capitol station fade out into the distance.

Sera looked up from her book, her pen hovering over the page and her finger pressing down on a folded corner of a worn page. "Is this…about the meeting or the train leaving the station late?" She asked, eying the quiet avoxes in the room, serving them an early breakfast.

"Both." He replied and sighed, drumming his fingers against the table in a loud annoying rhythm. "First, the train. It's ridiculous that they decided to go ahead and give the shiny new victors the latest state of the art, never before ridden, train. We never got that."

She shook her head, folding a corner of a page to mark where she was and closed the book. "You got your own train. I didn't and neither did Huxley and the ones before us."

"Yeah but mine wasn't new and I didn't hold up the other trains. We left on time and didn't delay the other trains."

"You know they add and change stuff every other year of the games, right?

"Oh, yeah. What did you get during yours?"

"An extra boost to the winnings." At least that's what she'd heard Huxley say once. He had compared his winnings to hers, well, Miel did.

Miel compared the winnings as a joke and then made fun of it all. He'd said that the Capitol must've decided to give extra compensation to Sera for her health. She did almost die many times in the arena without her fellow tributes doing much.

"That's it? Kinda lame, if you ask me."

"I'd take the extra money over a shiny new train that I'll ride only a few times any day." She said dryly. "Besides, I liked sharing the train with other passengers when I won. It really helped me settle back in." And Finnick's face appeared in her mind. She still couldn't forget that night even if she tried. It was equal parts bad and good but she wouldn't erase it even if she had the choice.

"Money is good but come on, it's a new train. There's so much to see." He leaned forward and shut the pocket watch with a quiet click. "I just know there's gotta be something more to those new trains—"

"And you're making this a bigger deal than it is." She fired back. "I get it, our train left the station later than it was supposed to. Give it a rest, will you?"

He sighed and leaned back into his seat, throwing his head back. Sera looked away. She didn't say a word more until he'd say something back. She'd let the silence stew for a while until he'd drop the subject because she knew exactly why they changed things around

That wasn't the real reason why the Capitol decided to give victors a separate train. It would've been an eyebrow-raising thing to do if the Capitol really didn't improve the state of the games and the rewards every other year. But Sera knew exactly why they decided to make that particular change.

The hijacking of her train back when she'd won had gotten and held their attention. They never knew who did it. But it was big enough for them to change things. They couldn't have victors being subjected to that again or getting the wrong idea and joining something the Capitol didn't want them to.

Thirteen's desperate actions had triggered that change and Sera didn't know a thing about it until last year when Plutarch had finally let her in on his big secret.

"The meeting—"

"Zephyr." Sera interrupted and her eyes swooped around the room before settling back on Zephyr.

He rolled his eyes and leaned forward, his hands clasped. "I'm not stupid."

"Then don't act like you are."

"I'm just saying, I can't believe we're playing nice."

"Unless you have another plan or way, I'd be quiet."

He snorted and flipped over the plate in front of him, letting an avox serve him breakfast. They left their car when they were done, leaving Sera alone with Zephyr.

"All I'm saying is…this all seems too easy. I know you're thinking the exact same thing I was back there."

"Doesn't matter what I think. I'm just annoyed that this whole thing was sprung up on me only last year." She grabbed a mug and filled it with boiling hot water, covering the handle of the kettle with a cloth napkin to dampen heat. She threw in a random teabag, not caring what tea it was.

"I'm sure that must've been so hard for you, unlike me."

"Okay." She put down the cup, the scent of warm jasmine filling the air in soft waves. "What is your problem? I get you don't trust them—again, we don't have a choice. We need all the help we can get and you know what they say—"

"Enemy of my enemy…" He mouthed and sighed. "I don't trust any of them and I'm gonna keep my eyes open."

"I'm not telling you to close them." She retorted. "If it makes you feel any better, I don't trust them either. We just have to do what we have to. Not to mention—I think—back there, she was testing us."

He paused, mid-action with a piece of bread slathered in a green sauce in his hand and smoked ham in the other. "What do you mean by that? I thought she was just being…difficult like she usually is."

"No, that wasn't it." There was something about Coin that was bothering Sera. "Don't you think it's odd that someone who waited years is trying to jump the gun? It doesn't look right to me."

"Maybe she's impatient."

"You really wholeheartedly believe that?"

"Honestly," He took a big bite of his toast and waited before carrying on. "No, I don't."

"Exactly, she knows where we stand and she knows that I'd throw the entire board if I have to. Maybe she was trying to see if I'd take her bait and throw everything away."

Coin didn't trust Sera and Sera didn't trust Coin.

That was an open secret everyone on the rebel side knew. The President of Thirteen was wary of the 68th victor—not that Sera blamed her. She was, unfortunately, known to be close to President Snow. And if she wanted to, she could jeopardize everything.

But that would be a stupid move on her own part.

Unfortunately, President Coin didn't see that or care enough to ease up around her.

"And I don't really have a horse in this race. I'm just doing this for the sake of it." He grinned and Sera shook his head.

"Don't say that in front of anyone else." She said quietly and grabbed a few pieces of toast herself. She wasn't that different from Zephyr. At least, she could pretend to care about the rebel cause.

"I think there's something wrong with her. It's obvious she doesn't trust the rest of us. We're the means to an end."

"Means to an end." Sera echoed back. "We're all using each other in the end anyways so why does that even matter?"

"Then what happens when it's all over?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "They'll resurface again and start living above ground along with the rest of us."

"No, I meant about us." He said. "I meant what happens to all of us when it's all over?"

"We're free."

"And then what? What do we do with that freedom?" He kept biting his lips nervously while carrying on. "Do we just…forget everything and settle down?"

It was like the train had stopped when Zephyr asked the question. Funny how the question of a future, of something that was so out of reach for her kept coming up. Sure, she tried to make plans for a future with Finnick but the more she thought about it, the harder it was for her to picture her own future.

She could picture Lissa and Huxley with their kids with ease. Miel would be fine burying himself in his work and if he wanted to, he could find someone to spend his life with but her brother wasn't in a hurry to do so. As for Nox, he'd manage his mother's shop. That was something Nox had wanted to do for the longest time.

But when it came to herself, Sera had nothing. Maybe, she could move to Four with Finnick when it was all over but then what? She didn't know. Sure, she could settle down like her sister. But Lissa was also a doctor.

Sera had none of her siblings' talents.

With her head down, she took a bread knife and spread a thin layer of herb butter on the bread. She topped it with some egg. She took small bites of her breakfast and avoided Zephyr's heavy gaze.

"So what happens?" Zephyr asked again, crossing his arms against his chest. "What's the big plan when the storm blows over? Hmm. You got nothing do you? Not even settling down with Finnick Odair."

Sera's eyes widened and she dropped the piece of toast in her hand. It landed on her plate but she wasn't looking at it. "Zephyr." She hissed out, her quiet voice was a mixture of fear and anger.

Zephyr leaned back with a lazy grin. "Relax." He said, whipping out the antiqued pocket watch again. "We're not bugged."

"How do you know that?"

He held up the pocket watch. "You should give me more credit, you know."

The pocket watch gleamed brightly under the morning sun. He turned around and quickly shut the windows. It was obvious that the watch that he'd been tending to all this time was one of his or Beetee's inventions.

"I work my butt off to keep both our necks intact while you're too busy frolicking around Capitol with Panem's boytoy Finnick Odair." He said.

"Can you not—don't call him that."

"I'm just saying." He mumbled under his breath. "I don't see what you see in him of all people. Sure, he's pretty and charming but come on, he's a liability. He's a surefire way to get yourself exposed."

"You don't think I know that?"

"But you don't care."

"I'm not having this conversation with you. I already got an earful from Huxley years ago and we're not rehashing that again." She tried to shut the conversation down and resume her breakfast but Zephyr was relentless.

He sighed. "Look, I'm trying to look out for you. I get it. He's pretty but come on—"

"I knew him before I even knew you existed." She cut him off sharply. "I get it, you're trying to help but he was a good friend to me before everything and I really do like him."

He fell silent and nodded. "But you can't picture yourself in the future with him, can you?"

"Why are we talking about this?"

"I just want to know what your plans are when it's over because between the two of us, you don't—we don't suit the whole life of settling down with marriage and kids. You and I—heck even Beetee, Wiress and Plutarch—the five of us—we don't suit the picture perfect life." He said, grabbing a mug and filling it with warm water. "People like us thrive in higher places, not in the suburbs and you do look like you're good at this kind of stuff and so am I."

As much as she hated to say it; he was right. She did—well, a small part of her did prefer to work behind the scenes and pull the strings that held Capitol in the palm of her hands. She even liked it a little. Though, she'd never admit it out loud.

"I can try it." Sera said quietly. "No, I want to try it. The normal life—the one with kids and marriage, something like Lissa and Huxley. It's what I wanted before…before I became sick. I don't mind moving to Four, it's not that far from Five."

"I don't know. I can't picture you like that."

"Doesn't mean I can't do it." She turned away and grabbed her cup, taking a small sip. "If I don't try I won't know." She winced at the coldness. Her tea had gone cold and so had the rest of the food on the table. She wasn't in the mood to eat anymore. Neither was Zephyr.

The two sat back, a whole table full of food laid out in front of them, barely touched. She looked away from it. There was nothing she could do. Her appetite was gone even if her guilt towards the wasted food built up, she couldn't do anything.

"You know…" Zephyr eyed his partner and former mentor, playing around with the chain of the pocket watch. It clanged quietly as it moved like a lifeless snake in his hands. "It sounds like you've already talked this all over with…him."

"That obvious, huh?"

"You're not trying to hide it, at least not from me."

She smiled, her nails tapping the porcelain mug in a quiet rhythm. "Because I trust you."

It took him a second to react but when he did, he didn't expect himself to drop the pocket watch on the carpeted floor. The fall was muffled by the carpet but it did land with a quiet thud. He bent down under the table to pick up the watch and stayed on the floor in a crouching position for a second too long.

"You…" He stood up. "Trust me? You actually trust me?" He asked again, a silent hope marring his voice as he leaned forward and gripped the side of the table tightly. The pocket watch dangled from his wrist helplessly.

"I mean, unless you give me a reason not to." She answered, the smile not fading. "I meant what I said though. I don't mind moving to Four with Finnick." She quickly changed the topic or Zephyr would've started tearing up for whatever reasons she didn't know but she had a feeling it might've had something to do with his uncle.

He rolled his eyes and he sat back into his seat. "So he proposed?" He asked with a hint of disgust in his voice.

"You're acting like that's the worst thing in the world."

"And you're acting too calm for someone who's future husband-to-be is Capitol's heartthrob, the minute everyone even gets a hint of your relationship with him, you'll have more attempts on your life than ever and might I remind you, Talissa doesn't like him."

Sera had completely forgotten about it. Her sister did not think too highly of Finnick. Even before the two had ever met, even after the last dinner they all had together, Lissa didn't like Finnick at all. To her and Huxley, he was too much of a flirt—not that it was his fault.

They were both sure, Finnick would break anyone's heart with ease. Except it was Sera that had broken his heart, not once but twice and she hated herself for it. Lissa didn't know anything about it and Sera didn't know how to break it to her family that she'd promised to marry Finnick Odair of all people.

Lissa had practically raised her along with aunt Dahlia. Maybe if aunt Dahlia was around, she'd be able to convince Lissa. She really liked Finnick and saw him for who he was, even begging Sera before she left to stay with him.

Miel would be fine. He was happy with whatever that made Sera happy. Lissa, not so much. Huxley would follow whatever her sister did and Nox was a wildcard that she wasn't even sure of. Maybe that was a bridge she could cross later.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Zephyr teased.

"It just slipped my mind." She did in fact forget. "But it's not like Lissa's gonna be marrying him."

"And there's no way she's letting you move to Four."

"Not like she can stop me."

"She can try."

"Maybe, you could try it too." Sera said in an attempt to shift focus.

"Try what? Stopping you? Moving to Four?" Zephyr said with a weak laugh. "I mean I want to. I could move. Maybe with Clarisse but I don't know if Huxley would ever let me in." He smiled sadly and ran his fingers through his air, pulling at the tips and letting go with a deep sigh. "I can't see it." He said, hushed and leaned over to her. "I can't see my future either. I was hoping I don't have one."

"Zephyr."

She understood why exactly she found it hard to plan out her own future, Zephyr was another story. He was too complicated and she didn't like to poke him to find out. She could've asked Clarisse if she really wanted to.

Somehow, her only friend that remained by her side through her sickness, was close to Zephyr. How they met and what they had in common were a complete mystery to her. A mystery, she'd let go unsolved. It wasn't her place to dig at their relationship and she didn't want to.

Zephyr cleared out his plate and mug away from him, shoving them all to the side. He laid down his head on the cold marble-top of the table and stared out into the distance. He just sat there like that for what felt like hours.

She could hear the birds chirping outside and the quiet hum of the train moving alongside the ticks of the clock on the wall, her too quiet to be alive heartbeat and Zephyr erratic ones. It almost sounded like Zephyr was scared of his future.

Usually, she'd ignore it and pass him by. Zephyr didn't really like talking much about himself. "I don't want to be like my…father." He murmured, his voice muffled by the table. "I don't want to be like my uncle either. I don't know what I want to be."

"You can take your time."

"I don't think we have time." He lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes were reddened and moist. "I just…I don't know what'll happen when this is all over. I don't know what I'm going to do—maybe, we should back off—maybe, we should turn Plutarch in. Nip it all before it gets too much."

"Zephyr." Sera's warning was sharp and Zephyr looked down in shame. "We can't do that. A lot of people will die—a lot of kids will die if we don't keep going. There might even be several Neros in the future and so many other kids might lose their fathers and mothers like we did."

"We can just turn them all in." He wasn't listening.

"Zephyr." Sera left her seat and reached out to him. "We can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because we'll be going down with them as well." As much as it pained her to admit, she was far too involved to just let it all go.

Mechanically, he clasped his hands together on the table. His red eyes were focused on the pocket watch on his lap.

A momentary lapse of judgment, she wanted to think that was all there was to it. Still, she had to keep an eye on him and—

"You're right." Zephyr interrupted her train of thoughts. "I wasn't thinking straight. I don't know why I even thought about that."

"Stop thinking about things that are too distant." Sera offered. It was what she did whenever she started to get those kinds of thoughts. "It's better to focus on things you know will happen."

"That's too predictable."

"That's the whole point." She replied. "It's easier for us to just think about what we can do than what we can't. We'll cross that bridge when it comes to it."

"Even if the bridge isn't there." He said quietly. "I don't know if I trust Coin enough to think she'd let you and me live."

Sera paused. "Is that what's bothering you?"

"Just one of the many things." He answered. "I don't trust her. She calls herself 'President'. I get it. Her people bargained for their independence in return for throwing away the war but don't you think that's strange?"

"I do." That was one of the many things on her mind that she didn't say out loud to anyone. "And I–we have contingency plans for her and her people."

That got Zephyr's attention.

Up until that point, he'd believed that Sera and Plutarch were blindly following that woman for no reason other than her little army. He didn't know about any contingency plans. Sera didn't tell him. She didn't feel the need to. She'd guessed that maybe Zephyr would know but she was wrong.

"How long…how long have you two been making those plans?" He questioned and Sera wished the window was still open. The fluorescent lights made the little dining room look far too clinical for her own liking.

"Over a year but does it matter?"

"Yes." He answered without a moment's waste. "Yes, it does. I've been pulling my hair over this and wondering why on earth are we trusting this random woman who spent her entire life under a rock—"

"A mountain."

"I don't care what it is." He fired back. "I don't know why we're putting all our trust in her. I get it, they have the manpower but is it worth it?"

"I trust…Plutarch." She managed to say it. "He's banking on her men to get us through the tough parts before we take over and like I said, we have plans for her if she does something we don't want her to."

He sighed and collapsed onto his seat. "Guess, I have no choice but to go along with this."

She smiled and turned away. "You could just carry on working at the Citadel and return to Five when the time comes. Wait for everything to blow over."

He snorted. "The Citadel is far more interesting than whatever Coin's cooking up."

"We don't know that."

"All I know is that I don't trust the people that sold the rest of the districts out once." He stood up and left the small dining area, leaving the sliding door open. Sera followed him, grabbing her book and closing the door. "Who knows what they'll do when it's all over?"

"That's where the contingency plans come in."

And Sera offered nothing more on that. Even when Zephyr stared at her, begging her to let him in; she refused to say one more word on those plans. That was between her and Plutarch—not even Beetee knew much about it.

"How's things going on in the Citadel?" She asked.

He sighed and ruffled his hair. "The same old. They're always working on some new mutts…just mutts. Oh, and they're updating the pods for some reason. I had a look at the layout of the Capitol, they're moving some of them around."

Sera frowned. Pods were Capitol's open secret, leftover relics from the Dark Days and something people from the district didn't know about. They were like mines dotted around the streets of the Capitol. Everyone knew about them but no one cared enough to speak about it. They felt too comfortable around it to care about its potential dangers.

She was fortunate or unfortunate that both Mica and Harp knew a little about the streets of the Capitol enough to tell her. She'd sometimes even pick up whispers of it from the two even when they told her.

Emilia had once even warned her not to wander off from one of her schedules. Her assistant even kept a close eye on her whenever she had to visit the poorer side of the Capitol. Even if they were supposed to be inactive, pods were still very dangerous. They were one of the last lines of defense the Capitol had against an invasion.

She knew enough to know that whatever the Capitol was planning would be a huge problem in the future. And that meant she'd have to plan around that. "...Someone might need to stay behind."

It wasn't the most ideal thing she could come up with but someone needed to stay behind and keep a line open for the rebels.

"That's…not a bad idea." Zephyr agreed with her. By the sound of it, he wanted to offer himself. The people at the Citadel trusted him enough. "I don't mind staying behind—I have no interest in whatever's beyond Twelve anyways." And sure enough, like she'd predicted, he offered himself up.

Sighing, she shook her head. "You're not supposed to volunteer."

"I don't see anyone else who could keep a line open apart from me, maybe you could but that's too risky."

"We'll just have to deal with that when the time comes." She really didn't want to deal with it. She'd rather forget about it all and busy herself with mundane tasks that required little to no thinking or plotting. "What about the mutts?"

"I don't know much about the ones they used in the games." He began. "They usually keep us out of that section but, you know me—"

"Nosy as ever."

"Nosy as ever." He echoed back with a grin. "I did a little snooping around and found a few interesting things, they brought over a few monkeys from the zoo along with a bear, some insects—like beetle—two or three kinds—I caught a name for two of them—click beetles and skin beetles and a few lizards."

"That's a lot." She guessed it was preparation for the upcoming games. 75 years of Hunger Games was not a simple feat. No doubt everyone in the Capitol was buzzing with excitement. All she hoped was that the games would be easier on whoever was going to be in the arena.

"That's not all." Zephyr said and came closer to her, until the two were standing right in front of each other. "They brought back jabberjays." He said quietly, almost hushed.

"Jabberjays?" She echoed back and he nodded. "Didn't they hunt them all down."

"Borrowed them from the zoo. Might be Plutarch's move." He guessed. "He was very fond of those things, didn't he bring those back for Huxley's games?"

"And it barely made it onto the screen."

"It made it, didn't it?"

"Yeah and then the advertisements cut it off." Zephyr made a face. "Which might've been a deliberate move now that I think about it."

It took her a second to realize that and when she did, she felt glad it was cut off.

Huxley might've not come across those things but the tributes that did, had a hellish time from the short clips she'd seen of that moment. Those birds were no song birds and the things she'd seen made her wish she never came across them any time in the future.

Almost like those tracker jackers. Just seeing their victims through the screen was enough of a warning for her. Then there were those mutts that looked so hauntingly human yet so beast-like.

Sera turned away and paused right in front of the doors leading to the corridors. She hadn't checked on Faline or Celsi's bodies since the two had been handed off to her and Zephyr. She never did check her tributes' cold corpses.

There was no need for her to.

Yet the almost human cat-like eyes and orange-red hair–no, fur of that mutt lingered in her mind. It was too human for her not to worry. What if the Capitol was doing experiments on the dead tributes? The thought alone horrified her.

She took out her ticket and was about to swipe it when Zephyr stopped her. "Where are you going?" He asked, pulling her back.

"Cargo." A short but simple enough answer to get her point across.

"Cargo?" He repeated with a raised brow. "To do what?"

"I need to check something."

"Like what?"

"Faline and Celsi—you didn't notice those new mutts that Crane introduced, did you?"

"Those ones…" He looked away and kicked the metal floor of the sitting area. "I was trying to forget those."

Sera bit her lips in pity. She shouldn't have told and just left without saying another word.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't forget a thing. That was the curse of his unforgettable memory. He'd always remember everything—from the smallest of details to the worst of his life. He'd remember it all.

"You want to check the…coffins together?"

He shrugged and wiped his face with one hand. Almost like he was avoiding her gaze. She didn't comment on it and again turned away, taking her ticket from him to leave.

With a single swipe, she pressed the unlock button and slid out of the room with Zephyr at her tail. A few Peacekeepers patrolling the corridor stopped to greet them. She kept her head down and made up a stupid excuse to get permission to go into the cargo.

There were questions but Sera handled it with ease, lying that she wanted to see if Faline and Celsi were comfortable in the cargo. They bought it. Even if Sera's lies were the stupidest ones that slipped out of her mouth, they bought it.

She watched quietly as a Peacekeeper punched a code into the side of the cargo door and threw a quick glance at Zephyr. He moved his head to the side, signaling that he'd committed the code to memory before they were let in.

Rows of boxes greeted them along with the stench of bleach and dust greeted them. There was also a thin scent of metal in the air that Sera couldn't quite track. It wasn't coppery or anything like blood but rather it was something else, something like rotten eggs.

"Sulfur." Zephyr mumbled, close to her ears.

Gunpowder. There were weapons in some of the crates and boxes, guns and maybe bombs. She made a note to send a message to Plutarch and turned away from Zephyr.

She went her separate way, trying to find Faline or her remains. The maze of boxes and crates were arranged like a maze in the wide cargo room. A metal net divider between the middle of the room, separating it into two. It did nothing to help her find where Faline and Celsi might be.

None of the crates of boxes were labeled with words. A few symbols and dots of color on them was all Sera noticed. Maybe Zephyr would know more about it. She didn't ask him and passed the boxes and crates before stopping at a row of back shelves that had a few boxes stacked and locked in.

Zephyr took the first step, looking around at the shelves. He stopped and flicked two of the coffin-sized wooden boxes, stepping away to make space for her.

The two wooden boxes were sealed shut and marked with an unmistakable '5' in deep violet on the front side. A crude coffin for the tributes. Not metal but wood, cheap wood. She should've expected it.

With shaky movements, she undid the straps on the coffin. The metal ropes fell to the floor with a clung. Standing on the tips of her toes, she reached over and opened the coffin, holding her breath for whatever waited.

She let out a soft gasp and backed away.

Faline was laid down on a cheap cotton bed inside the coffin. Her orange-red hair framing her pallid face was the only color inside the coffin. Her gray lips had been cleaned of any nightlock poison residue but there were a few specks of dried blood on her shirt.

Her amber eyes were shut closed, never to be opened again. She was still dressed in her arena uniform, still wrinkled and caked in mud that had dried hard on her jacket and boots.

But most of all, it was Faline, fully intact. No signs of tampering or anything. It was Faline. Still and lifeless. Not a beast or a mutt, just Faline.

There was no relief either way.

Faline was gone.

Sera turned away. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was heavy. She'd gone numb for a second after seeing Faline. It never got easier seeing the dead.

It wasn't supposed to.

"We should go."

Zephyr had already put everything back where it was and even secured Faline's casket back on the shelves. He didn't bother to open Celsi's and even blocked Sera's path. He didn't want her to check on Celsi.

She didn't want to anyway.

Without checking, she could picture his cold and bloody corpse. He was probably paler than Faline in death. She didn't want to see how they'd stitched him back together, put his guts back inside him. She just wanted to put those two behind her and move on like she did every other year.