Author's note:
Well, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but we're going on 4 months now and I was only halfway done, so I decided it would be a part 1 and part 2 chapter. Faster to get out and easier to edit. I don't know when part 2 will come out.
Hmmmm, no trigger warnings that I can think of... beyond the usual depressing subjects at least.
I know you're all wondering when or if Brooklynn will come back... It's going to be a while. There's a lot between the campers and their families that has to happen. A lot of buildup. I'm trying to get through it. I don't know how many chapters it will take to get to the big finale.
While I don't know how many chapters it will be, I do know how long it will take to reach the finale in the campers world. It takes 13 days from when Brooklynn attempts to the finale. Chapters 57-63 happen on day 13... Yeah, apparently a lot happened on that one day, lol. This chapter spans day 12. So if y'all are so anxious as to keep track of the days in the campers world, you'll have an idea of when it'll come. (Finale is on day 0... cause I kept messing myself up with the counting)
Enjoy!
The lid began to shake, the pressure from the boiling water pushing on it.
Kenji tried to ignore it, twirling his fork between his fingers with irritation. Where was Roxie? She was the one cooking breakfast.
The lid danced even harder, the water beginning to bubble over. It hissed as it touched the hot stove top.
He took in a slow, angry breath. His father didn't notice the pot. Neither did Dave, and it was his own house. Was Kenji the only one who noticed the boiling pot had reached its breaking point?
More water spilled over.
"Roxie! It's boiling!" he called, fed up.
"Take the lid off, please!" Roxie called from down the hall.
"Nope…" he said to himself. The water was bubbling and popping all over the place. He didn't want to get burned…
Finally, Roxie came in and removed the lid. "Hot! Oh, you left this for me to do?"
Kenji shrugged apathetically, masking his frustration. It was just a pot… Why did it make his heart race…
"You could've turned the heat off and moved it off the stove top," Roxie suggested, making herself a scalding hot cup of tea.
"Wish I could do that with real life," he thought sadly. Fear, worry, and pain began to bubble up inside him at the thought. Brooklynn… Sammy… Yasmina… All were torn from him in some form or fashion… His father danced in and out of his life, sometimes there for him and sometimes not. Darius and Ben? Could he count on them? Could he trust them? Could he truly believe they wouldn't die or drift away or cut him to pieces?
No one in his life was safe… No one in his life was stable… Everything was out of control and everyone was leaving him in some way…
Like the pot, the feelings began to bubble and scald him internally.
He didn't dare take the lid off.
Trying to move his internal pot off the heat, Kenji sticks in his airpods and blares music as loud as he could, ignoring Sammy's voice warning him of hearing loss…
Breakfast was quiet. Roxie and Dave had worked together to cook a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, and sweet, fluffy pancakes. Syrup, butter, and blackberry jam sat amongst the heaping plates of food.
It felt so… homely. So intimate and familial. Something Kenji hadn't ever had until after the island…
His heart hurt so much…
Hungry but lacking appetite, Kenji picked at a few bacon strips, a small serving of eggs, and one pancake. He left a slice of butter to slowly melt on the pancake, then glanced longingly at the syrup. So sweet and sugary…
He drizzled it on the singular pancake, then took a tentative bite. The syrup left a sickeningly sweet taste in his mouth. It was sticky, lingering longer than he wanted it to. It stuck in his throat, leaving an awful aftertaste.
He used to love syrup… It used to be sweet, sugary… It used to be his favorite part of breakfast… But now, he couldn't stand how sweet, sweet, sweet, it was. It felt so fake. So processed. Nothing like what it used to be…
Kenji glared at the syrup bottle. It was the cheap, dollar store kind. Not the real, authentic maple syrup… The cheap, fake stuff was all he had…
And he could never go back to the sweet, genuine syrup… No… He had screwed up… Sammy had screwed up… Painting all their interactions with a sticky, fake sweetness. No more genuine laughter. No more stolen glances and comforting hugs and deep talks. The sweet syrup that used to add life to his breakfast now turned his stomach sour…
Kenji considered scraping off the syrup and just eating the pancake… Dealing with the lingering taste… But no, the syrup had seeped into the pancake. He couldn't have his pancake without the syrup…
He felt bad getting rid of the pancake on account of the syrup… But he shouldn't be forced to eat something that made him feel sick just so he wouldn't hurt Roxie's feelings… Why did he put the syrup on in the first place…
Moving onto his measly portion of eggs, he began to salt them. He continued shaking, unsatisfied with the amount of salt. "Make it salty… Like me," he thought. "Like Yaz… Like Yaz and her stupid sense of humor and stupid knife and stupid murdering thoughts and stupid Leah…"
Yeah, those eggs were trash with the amount of salt he put on them.
Kenji stuck a piece of bacon in his mouth and turned his mind to something else before he could associate that with his friends. He'd rather go back to that closet door. The one that led to the woods…
If only it was real and not just his imagination.
Craving an escape from the mundane but suffocating life in front of him, Kenji opened that imaginary door, returning to that magical land. What had he called it? Zouneia, that's it. He had wandered through the woods of Zouneia, exploring the lush forests. The animals were similar, but slightly different. Bigger, for starters. And much more fantastical. His imaginary world felt so romantic and feminine that Kenji felt embarrassed by it. He'd tell no one about it, but the whimsical, fantasy vibe was… comforting… It felt magical enough to make him forget his worries and pain.
"Where's Elspeth?" he wondered as he trekked through the woods again. He had met—well… created—a Zouneian the night before. She was a giantess, about twice his height. Large, silver antlers poked out from her blonde hair. Her dress was plain, and her smile was carefree when she twirled through the trees.
Elspeth hadn't known what to do with him when she met him the night before. "You're so small!" she had exclaimed, a strong Scottish-ish accent marking her words. "You seem to be a young man, but you're the size of a toddler! Where are you from? What are you?"
"Um… I'm Kenji. I'm a human," he had told her.
"A human! I've never heard of that," she had tilted her head, examining him from her point of view. "Are you a spirit?"
"No, just… running away from home," he had sadly told her.
"Aw, why would you do that? Home is amazing! Home is where your family is! Home is where you can dance and be merry with those you love!" she had twirled around.
"I don't have a home to do that in, or loved ones to dance with…" he looked down at his shoes. "Could I… stay with you and your family?"
"Well, I don't think they'd mind!" Elspeth chirped cheerfully. "My sister is a healer! And my wonderful niece is following in her footsteps. My younger, beautiful niece has just the most delightful voice you've ever heard. She silences all the spirits I hear when she sings. Did I happen to tell you I'm a seer?"
Kenji had smiled, taking long strides and skips to keep up with her as she babbled on about her life. It was nice to escape…
"Kenj?"
Kenji looked up and paused his music. Dave held his plate out. "You want my eggs? I'm full, anyway and yours are… salty."
Kenji blinked then declined the offer.
Disturbed from his fantastical world, Kenji observed the table. His father had his tablet out, reading the news or something while he sipped his coffee. Every now and then, his father would glance up and study his son, before returning back to his reading. He wasn't paying attention… Not truly. Not enough. Kenji hated him for it… He wanted to hate him for it… And yet, the only thing he felt towards his father was this pitiful plea for attention. This childish need to be held and comforted through this horrible time…
"You're seventeen," Kenji reminded himself harshly. "Grow up already. Just deal with it. Besides, he won't be there for you. He never really was… No need to beg for something you won't ever get…"
Could he ever get it? Get… love… comfort… Could he ever get something more than fleeting check ins and abandonment? And if he could, would they live? Would they stay out of prison? Could a relationship be safe enough for him to have?
He just wanted to disappear…
"It's time for school," Roxie interrupted his thoughts.
Kenji stopped with his fork still in his mouth. "Sgool?" he asked.
"Well, I think it might be good for you to go," Roxie said. "If anything, it's something to do during the day. Something to take your mind off of things…"
Kenji nodded quickly. "I'll go. Just let me finish my bacon."
He reached for his plate to find that the bacon was gone.
"Oh… Alright," Roxie said, glancing between the two men. They had all obviously expected more of a fight from Kenji.
Kenji didn't mind school. He welcomed it if it would keep him busy. Anything to distract him from this hell…
Sleep evaded Sammy the entire night. She tossed and turned, hot beneath the covers, but cold outside of them. No position was comfortable. Not even the foot of her bed… Her mind was too busy. Her heart was too heavy…
Round and round her worries went. First to Brooklynn, then to Yasmina. Then to Kenji, then to everyone, and then back to Brooklynn… The cycle viciously repeating. She beat herself over the head with it, but she couldn't stop worrying. "God, I just can't stop," she silently cried into her pillow.
Where did that revelation go? She thought she had truly gotten ahold of some truth back at the hospital. Either it wasn't planted that deep in her heart, or the situation was piling dirt on top… Refusing to allow truth and hope to sprout in her heart.
How did it keep getting worse? She thought breaking up with Kenji was the worst that week could throw at her. And then for Brooklynn to go committing suicide? And on top of that, Yasmina lost her cool and tried to kill someone? Sammy wanted to say it couldn't get worse, but she was afraid to jinx it…
The sun rose and she blinked blearily. It took everything in her to not burst into tears again. "God, I don't want to do this," she clenched her teeth. "Can I just skip to the good part? If there is one? No… There's a good part. There's gonna be a good part. It just hurts. It just hurts so much… I don't wanna go through this. I don't want to go through this…"
Time ticked on, oblivious to her pain.
Sammy slid her legs off the bed and reached for her wheelchair. She really wished she could just skip over this part… All the pain. The inability to do anything. The waiting…
But did she want to skip to the end? Did she want to see the end? Why couldn't she just have faith…
"It's not… my problem," she reminded herself, trying to take her worries and toss them to God. It felt like her worries were glued to her hands…
Her sisters rose with her, and Ghaleb appeared in the doorway, having slept in the spare room with Jabari. He looked like a zombie. "D'ya sleep?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes and pushing back his hair.
"Nope," she yawned.
He nodded, closing his eyes. "Need help getting down?"
"Just give me a minute…" she murmured. She'd get dressed… She wasn't about to shower. Things sucked anyway without water being added into the mix…
Breakfast was a solemn affair. Even her chatty younger sisters kept quiet for the most part. The only thing that punctuated the silence was Rio's icky sneezes. Sammy picked at her food. It felt slimy and disgusting going down. She had to fight her gag reflex with every single bite. Thinking about Brooklynn, Yasmina, or Kenji made her stomach churn. She had no appetite, anyway…
She looked at Ghaleb and Miriam, who seemed to feel the same way.
"Do we have to go to school?" Shelby asked.
"Yep," her father sighed. "Let's try to make this a normal day."
None of the kids were happy about it. "But I wanna see Brooklynn!" Shelby whined.
Sammy threw up in her mouth, swallowing the bitter taste.
The corners of Ghaleb's mouth twitched at her reaction. "It's easier to send us to school. Keep us out of the way."
"No," Mrs. Gutierrez sighed, even though the older kids knew fully well it was at least partially true. "It'll do y'all no good to sit around and worry. Go to school and think about your subjects for a change."
Sammy knew she was right. It wouldn't do them good to do nothing but worry. But she was also wrong… Going to school wouldn't take her mind off of Brooklynn…
She felt like a horrible friend. Brooklynn needed her. So did Yasmina and Kenji. Darius and Ben, too. It was just that… this whole situation made her nauseous… She kept seeing the video… She wished she hadn't watched it…
Maybe that was selfish of her. To wish she could go back and not see it. To live in blissful ignorance of what happened to Brooklynn. Yeah, that was definitely selfish… If she lived in ignorance, how could she be there for Brooklynn? She couldn't, not fully… But seeing that video was so gut-wrenching… Her mind kept replaying the images…
"Imagine how Brooklynn felt… Her mind would be constantly reliving the sight… the sound… the feeling… the pain…"
Flashbacks to drowning were awful… Brooklynn never seemed to have flashbacks to her rape… Did she? Did she sleep at night feeling his hands on…
She was going to throw up if she continued that thought.
"So Yazzy and Darius found Brooklynn?" Habeeba whimpered quietly, her heart visibly heavy with the recent events.
"Yeah… they drove her to the hospital," Miriam confirmed.
Habeeba's eyes were watery. "They were staying at our house… I didn't hear them leaving… I didn't hear anyone leaving."
"Would you have wanted to see that?" Jabari shrugged, apathetic with a hint of anger beneath.
Habeeba shook her head, a single tear falling.
Ghaleb released a heavy breath. Sammy couldn't tell what he was thinking… Perhaps he wished he had been there, just as she did… Was he mad at Yasmina? As far as she was aware, the younger Fadoula's hadn't been informed about her actions. Sammy wasn't about to break it to them… That had to be what was on his mind. How he felt about it, she couldn't tell…
She was worried. They hadn't heard a peep from Yasmina's parents. About whether Yasmina was arrested or not… Sammy didn't know how that worked. Was the arrest immediate? Could she visit the prison and say goodbye? How often could she visit? It would never be the same… It would have to be through a glass window, right? She could only talk through a telephone. At least, that's how she had seen it done in the movies…
She didn't want to say goodbye to her best friend… She hoped Yasmina could be set free… But it was grim… Attempted murder was a serious crime… She didn't know what the punishment would be… But it was safe to say, if Yasmina wasn't declared innocent, she wouldn't be seeing her friend again for a long time…
"God, how am I losing three of my friends?" she forced down another slimy morsel. "I'm trying. I'm trying to stand in faith for all this."
Again and again, she had given all of this over, and then reeled it back in. She couldn't stop. It was like trying to climb back up a steep slope. Every foot she gained, she lost two later… She didn't want to know what was at the bottom of that slope… Her problems were like glue. Every time she threw them away, they bounced back with one more… Her heart felt like lead with all the mounting problems…
"Time for school," her mother sighed.
"Come on, we don't get a day off because of Brooklynn?" Jabari asked.
"Why? You're not the one who's dead," Rio snapped darkly, her allergies making her even more agitated.
"We did when Yasmina 'died,'" he snapped back. "Why are we over here, anyway? And where's Yasmina?"
"Maybe she tried to kill herself, too," Rio muttered.
"No!" Shelby shouted. "Yazzy wouldn't do that! Brooklynn's just sleeping! She'll wake up soon!"
"She's in a coma, Shell, that's different!" Rio yelled.
"Hey! Stop it!" Mr. Gutierrez said sternly as Sammy fought back tears. "Yes, Brook's in a coma. It's like a deep sleep. We're standing in faith that she'll wake up. Just pray for her when she comes to mind."
Sammy glanced at Ghaleb, who tensed for just a second before relaxing and glumly going back to eating. He reminded her of Kenji for a moment… Making her gag on her food.
"In the meantime, it's good to go to school. It'll get yer mind off of things," her father continued. "Let's go."
"Permiso…" Sammy excused herself to the bathroom, feeling sick to her stomach. She couldn't catch her breath. Everything was falling apart around her. Everything was slipping through her fingers.
"God, please, don't let Brooklynn die! Don't let Yaz go to prison!"
She fought the urge to vomit, but it was no use. She heaved into the toilet, tears slipping out. It all felt so hopeless…
Her stomach at least felt better empty.
Wiping her mouth and cleaning up the evidence, she wheels herself out the door. At least she didn't have to pretend she was fine… She didn't want to tell anyone else about that… Her family and friends had enough to worry about… Besides, her appetite would get better with time… It was literally only a day after Brooklynn's attempt… It was nothing to worry about.
The table was quiet. Sleep was difficult with such a painful weight on their hearts and minds. Exhaustion only carried them so far before they stirred in their sleep, plagued by dreams of Brooklynn and uncomfortable on the couch. Eventually, the boys had moved to Ben's bed where they all tossed and turned.
Ben's mother sighed. "Finish eating. You guys have school."
All three boys were tense. No one wanted to go to class and trudge through those halls with that on their mind. Plus, word was getting around fast. The edited video Leah had posted was steadily climbing in views. Not too fast, thankfully. But already, word of Brooklynn's suicide attempt had gotten to the news, which brought attention to the video and the situation in general. None of them wanted to go to school and be pestered with questions. "Have you seen the video?" "What do you think of the video?" "Why did she do that?" "Is she okay?" "How did she do it?"
No one wanted the invasive questions… Or the pitiful stares.
"School?" Darius frowned. "Right now?"
"Yes," she nodded. "Let's try to treat this like a normal day. As best we can."
Darius clenched his fork and knife. "A normal day? Brooklynn almost died! She's in a coma! How can this be a normal day?!"
"It can't, not fully," Mrs. Pincus agreed. "But Darius, it's good to get back into your routine."
"How can I when she's not here?!" he snapped. "I don't want to go to school, I want to see her! I want to be there for her!"
"I know it's very, very tempting to stay by her side for every second," she said gently, but firmly. "But you can't do that. You can't be there the entire time. She could be in this state for days, weeks, or even months. Your life has to continue on. You can't die with her."
Darius stared at her in disbelief, chest heaving. "It's only the second day! Am I not allowed to be shocked? Hurt? Upset? Do I not get a few days to process this? Without jumping back into school and regular life?"
"Believe me, Brooklynn will be all you think about regardless of what you're doing," she murmured. "But sitting there, watching her, is only going to amplify it all. It's not healthy to sit there and do nothing but wait for her to wake up."
Darius turned away, anger boiling beneath his features. "Right, believe you… cause you lost Ben for a few weeks…" He tightened his jaw for a moment before saying, "And how long did it take you to get back to a 'normal day?'"
Mrs. Pincus sighed sharply, a little provoked. "Darius, that's not—"
"So I'm expected to bounce back and be fine, but you are a different situation!" Darius snapped.
"That's not what I'm saying!" she protested.
"How long did it take you to get back to work?!" he pushed.
"She worked at Jurassic World, her job was gone with Ben," Brandon mumbled.
Darius stuttered before snapping again. "Okay, well, how long did it take you to find another job? Or clean the house? Or do anything you'd normally do? How did you get back to a normal routine when you didn't have to take Ben to school? When you didn't have to pick him up? When he wasn't there at night? How do you go back to a 'normal day' when something so important to your day is gone?!"
She inhaled shakily. "I didn't… get back to a normal routine. Not until Christmas, when I heard Ben's voice again."
Ben sat beside Darius, numbly looking at his plate.
"Oh," Darius said, face changing to a false calmness. "So this is kind of a 'Do as I say and not as I do' sort of situation?"
"Because what I did was not healthy and I don't want to see you doing the same thing!" she snapped.
"A couple days!" he threw his arms out. "I can't have a couple days?! What happened to you? You felt sad? Depressed? Felt like your whole world was turned upside down? You know, a normal reaction to something like this?!"
"Normal doesn't mean healthy," she hissed. "Being unable to get out of bed and function is not healthy, and I don't want to see any of you fall into that!"
"A few days!" he shouted.
"And then what?" she argued. "A few days turns into a week, which turns into several weeks and then what? Are you going to put your life on hold the entire time? What if she doesn't wake up, what are you going to do then?"
"Mom!" Ben snapped, his hands trembling.
The table was at a stand still. Neither Darius nor Mrs. Pincus wanted to back down. Ben felt conflicted. On one hand, he felt it was unfair to expect them to return to a normal setting so soon. He knew Kenji and Sammy were going back to school that day, and a part of him felt they should take some time off. It was very soon, and the kids at school would be hard to handle. It probably would do them some good to take another day off.
But on the other hand, his mother was right. Wallowing in their misery with nothing to do but entertain their fears and pain wouldn't help either. Returning to a semi-normal schedule was a smart move. A sense of normalcy would do them some good and take their mind off of what could've or should've happened… Or what would happen. Sitting around and watching Brooklynn all day left their minds solely on her and the problems. Darius especially needed something else to think about. This was stressing him out… It wouldn't stop until some sort of resolution came… But at the very least, he could have a break… The stress alone would take him out.
But on the other hand, his mother was coming down a little too hard. Not to be harmful. She was simply drawing from her own personal experience and didn't want them to make the same mistakes she did.
But on the other hand, that was exactly what Ben feared Darius would do. What he was doing. Darius was silent, barely speaking. He was mentally distant, his mind constantly trained on Brooklynn. It was already unhealthy… Ben feared he would shut down his life until this was over, regardless of what everyone else told him or even made him do. But that didn't mean they needed to concede to his unhealthy habits…
But on the other hand, the kids at school would surely keep reminding them all of what was happening…
Ben had too many hands.
Brandon finally spoke up. "Brooklynn's… attempt is all over the news. They don't say what she did. Only that she tried to kill herself and that there's a video out there… Kids are going to be asking us a lot of questions. Maybe it… will be better to just lay low. At least until there's less questions to be asked."
Darius raised an eyebrow, never taking his eyes off of Mrs. Pincus.
Ben's father gently touched his wife's shoulder. "Alright. We'll drop you guys off at the hospital. We have work, so Brandon, keep an eye on things. Stay safe."
Mrs. Pincus shot her husband a glare but gave in.
Darius went back to his cereal, returning to his distracted state.
Ben felt conflicted as they left for the hospital. He knew instinctively this wasn't right… Darius was falling into something bad. But he didn't know how to stop it.
And then there were the others. He hadn't seen Kenji since their last argument… Nor Sammy since they had a heartfelt talk. Had any of his words gotten through to them? How were they faring with things?
And then there was Yasmina… He hadn't heard anything… If he went to her house, would she be there? Would she be in prison already?
He felt a little dizzy in the car. There was so much happening. He wanted to be there for all of his friends, but he was just one guy. He was just one guy! How could he take care of all of them?!
"I can't," he admitted to himself. A part of it hurt to admit, and another part felt relieving. "I can't help them all… Guess there's only one thing I can do and trust you… I'm just the messenger, not the hero."
Admitting it felt like a weight was removed from his shoulders. "Lord, where do you want me to go? Who do you want me to talk to and what do you want me to say?"
"Go to the hospital with Darius and Brandon."
"Okay… What do I do then?"
"Be a comforting presence. A silent, comforting presence."
"So let Darius grieve," he thought as the three entered the hospital.
Yasmina woke with a weight on her chest, making it difficult to breathe. For once, it wasn't sleep paralysis. Just the weight of her guilt…
She closed her eyes again, wishing she could numb the pain and guilt. She felt it so acutely in every moment it came to mind. It was tormenting; she couldn't do anything to fix it. It was as if she had been stabbed in the gut by Brooklynn, then proceeded to take that knife and stab everyone else… Now everyone had that stinging, sharp pain in their gut. Now everyone was bleeding out and feeling angry and betrayed. But she couldn't fix it. The wounds were already there. The knife was already covered in blood. No matter how much she said it, "sorry" wouldn't bandage the wounds…
A short rap on the door caught her attention. Her step-father slowly opened the door. "Breakfast," he mumbled, looking down at her leg. "Need to use the bathroom?"
She nodded, accepting his help.
Yasmina stayed there longer than normal. She could hear her mother bustling about in the kitchen. Her words played back in her head. "I don't know how you claim to love us so much and then do this! It tears you up that we moved for you, and then you go and do this?! Do you want to stress me out and make me miscarry?!"
Her lower lip trembled. If she stressed her mother out so much she miscarried, Yasmina might never forgive herself…
She finally forced herself to leave the bathroom and limped to the kitchen.
The tension was so thick, Yasmina couldn't even cut through it with her knife. Her mother stood at the stove, her back turned. She made no acknowledgment of Yasmina's presence. Awkwardly, Yasmina sat down at the table, cautiously eyeing her mother.
Her mother handed a plate to her step-father, then turned off the stove. The three sat down to eat. Her mother refused to even look at her…
Yasmina ate in cold silence, eating with her left hand so her right could cover her ear and shield her face from her mother. It was uncomfortably quiet, but she didn't dare break the silence.
Mrs. Fadoula finished breakfast first and stared at the wall, waiting for her husband and daughter to finish. As soon as Yasmina finished, her plate was whisked away with irritation, still with no acknowledgment that she was there.
"Thank you…" Yasmina whispered. Even after all she did, her mother still made her breakfast…
Nothing but cold silence.
Her mother gave her step-father a stiff goodbye and kiss before starting the dishes. Her step-father helped Yasmina back to her room. "I love you," he whispered, giving her a hug. "Stay in your room for now."
"Do you think the police will come today?" she asked, hands trembling.
"I don't know," he shook his head. "I… maybe…"
They said goodbye before he left for work.
Yasmina swung her hands, releasing a heavy breath. So… now what? Her mother wasn't speaking to her. She wouldn't even look at her. She was confined to her room. Her friends were probably either with Brooklynn or with family… She was left alone to wait for her arrest.
How would that go down? Yasmina shuddered, afraid to even think about it.
She sat down on her bed with a notebook, journaling all her feelings. The events that had taken place. At least she could keep a record of the events…
"God, I still struggle to understand you," she admitted internally as she wrote. "How… I know everything I just did is paid for. I'm… clean… You've named me innocent, even though I'm far from it… But HOW?"
Three knocks on the door.
Yasmina jumped. Was it her mother? Her friends? The police?
The door tentatively opened and Miriam poked her head in. "Hey," she said softly.
Yasmina's face contorted in confusion. "H-hey?"
"How are you feeling?" Miriam asked, coming to sit beside her on her bed.
Yasmina tried to keep her composure, but her breath caught at the last moment. "Um, well, you know… I… feel like s*..."
"Fair enough," Sammy's older sister nodded.
The two sat in silence for a moment awkwardly. "So," Miriam cleared her throat. "You, um… You and Leah, huh?"
"Yeah…" Yasmina sighed. "You know, I joked about killing to protect… And I'd do it if I had to… I just didn't think I'd actually have to… I didn't think I'd try to hunt someone down…"
"You hunted her down?" her jaw dropped.
"Well… not really," she murmured. "I… wanted to kill her for what she did to Brooklynn… I was developing a plan to go after her and… another guy… Do you know about the video?"
"Yeah, it's starting to go around the Internet," Miriam nodded.
"No, the other one," Yasmina said. She started to explain it when her voice cut off. She couldn't speak. She couldn't talk about it…
"There's… another one?" Miriam whispered.
Slowly, her throat allowed her to speak. "Her ballet teacher… raped her… He had it on video… Leah used it as blackmail to hurt Brooklynn…"
Miriam froze, eyes darting between Yasmina and the bed. After a minute she choked out, "... Why didn't you go through with it?"
Yasmina chuckled bitterly as Sammy's sister rambled on. "How can Leah live with herself?! To find that video—to have that video—how did she get that video?! And to use it against Brooklynn?!"
"Brooklynn's not the only one," she swallowed. "Leah's got footage of him doing that to other girls."
She stuttered. "Well… Okay, I never felt bad for Leah to begin with, but maybe you won't get sentenced then? I mean, I kinda wish you had taken her life, except I wouldn't want that for you… Just… If Leah doesn't go to prison for a long time… The guy, too. That predator. He's the one who really needs to be killed!"
Miriam sighed, her teeth grinding. "I don't think you should be sentenced. Leah deserved it. You could argue you were defending Brooklynn!"
Yasmina shook her head. "Leah came into Brooklynn's room. I think she was apologizing to appease her parents… But I went for her throat. Held a knife to her throat. I dragged it out. We argued. I wanted her to know exactly what she did to deserve that. I… I don't think I could argue defense. Leah was unarmed. She wasn't hurting Brooklynn…"
"But how would you know that? After everything she had done to Brooklynn? For all you knew, she could've been there to finish the job!"
"And I did think that, but I waited too long. I dragged it out…"
Miriam threw her hands in her lap. "It's just not fair…"
"Believe me, I know…" Yasmina whispered. "... Why'd you come?"
"Oh, Ben asked me to come over before my shift," she explained, pulling something out of her bag. "He… asked me to bring you this."
She handed Yasmina a thick Bible with a beautiful, brown leather binding. In gold lettering, the title sat on the front page, as well as the letters "NIV" on the bottom and along the spine. "I don't know… I'm just following what Ben said…" Miriam stuttered, fidgeting with her bag's strap.
Yasmina fought back a wave of tears, a smile forming. "Thank you…"
Miriam frowned, one eyebrow raising in question.
"Oh," Yasmina laughed. "Yeah, I didn't kill Leah because God told me not to."
Miriam jutted her chin forward. "Well?! I need the rest of the story!"
"I had the knife to her throat when a voice told me 'Don't kill her,'" she explained. "It sounded audible. It sounded like Ben… But I knew it wasn't Ben, and I knew it was in my head. He said it again, and then I started telling him what Leah had done. He said that vengeance was his. Don't overcome evil with evil, but overcome it with good. Then I started thinking about what I was doing… Realizing how much I was going to hurt everyone else… So I backed down. Leah's parents came in, Leah blew up and admitted a bunch of stuff… Then Ben came in and we had a long talk. I… I finally, truly accepted Jesus. On the floor in Brooklynn's hospital room."
Miriam squealed and pulled her into a crushing hug. Yasmina gripped her in return, letting out a breath she didn't know she held. After the cold silence she had been receiving…
"Oh, I'm so happy for you," Miriam whispered in her ear. "I thought I was in for a big fight bringin' this to you. That's good. That's good you listened. It's probably better ya didn't kill her, though my flesh wants to think otherwise."
"Yeah…" Yasmina said softly. "I know I'm forgiven. But it's so hard to accept it, sometimes…"
Miriam hummed in thought. "I guess I kinda take it for granted…"
"You've also never attempted murder," Yasmina said, her deadpan sense of humor returning a little.
She laughed. "Yeah, I haven't really done anything to make me question his forgiveness. I also grew up with his love… Sometimes I wish I hadn't grown up in a Christian household. I mean, it's a good childhood, but sometimes I wish I could… I don't know. Growing up with God, sometimes you take things for granted. It's not like I've known a life without him."
Yasmina blinked incredulously at her. "Why would you want to not experience his love? His love was… it's so hard to do it justice. I've never felt anything like it before! Nothing can compare. It's probably the only thing keeping me from going insane. Well, more insane."
Miriam looked down at her hands. "Yeah, it's kinda selfish to think that… It's just… God changed your life… It's kinda hard to change mine when I was so little… I'm not really trying to complain. I just sometimes wish I could've had a life altering experience…"
"I guess…" Yasmina mumbled. "How's Sammy doing?"
Her sister shrugged half-heartedly. "Not well, but not bad, I guess. I don't think she slept well. She's at school right now."
"School? After all this?"
"Mamá and Papá thought it would be good to go and get our minds on something else."
"Fair… Wish I didn't have to be stuck in the house with nothing to do…"
Miriam patted the Bible. "Guess that's what Ben wanted with this."
Yasmina nodded, and a lull settled between them. "I wish I wasn't so reckless," she said under her breath. "I wish I'd stop messing things up for my family… I want to help. I want to contribute… I guess the best way to do that is to just not do anything at this point…"
"Yeah, I get that…" Miriam murmured. "Our… our family's struggling with money and such. We're fine right now, but the pipes just started leaking upstairs, so that'll cost us… I offer some of my savings, but Papá refuses the offer. He says he wants me to save up for my future… I don't know if he's being prideful, or if he truly feels like he's taking wrongfully from me… But sometimes I just get worried and wanna help…"
Yasmina smiled sadly, pushing a lock of hair out of her face. "No, I get that. There's so much to worry about right now…"
"You think you'll be arrested?" she asked.
"Definitely. Leah and her family agreed to report me. There's no way the police won't take me in… It's when they do that's the question… Darius's Mom already agreed to represent me."
"That's nice of her. You'll have a great defense then. I'm sure you'll be declared innocent, especially with what Leah did."
"Actually…" Yasmina grimaced. "God told me to plead guilty."
Miriam's face contorted in confusion. "Why? Are you sure?"
"Yeah…" her voice sounded anything but sure. "He told me not to resist it. To plead guilty and be honest."
"But… attempted murder is serious," she whispered. "You'd be in there for years!"
Yasmina shrugged. "Then I guess I'll be in there for years… I'm just doing what God told me to do… I know his voice now. It sounds kinda like Ben, but I guess that's because Ben's voice sounds like the voice of reason." She snickered. "It doesn't make much sense… Unless it's better for everyone that I be removed from the group… I don't know… I've spent way too much time being reckless and stubborn. Look where it got me… Maybe it's time to follow God's voice, no matter where it takes me. He certainly can't make my life worse than what I've made it…"
"If you know that's what God wants you to do, then the best thing you can do is do it," Miriam said solemnly.
The two fell into an awkward silence. "Well, it's almost time for my shift," she mumbled, moving in for another hug. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," Yasmina murmured, accepting the embrace.
"Try not to worry too much," she said.
"Yeah, do as I say, not as I do, right?" Yasmina quipped with a small laugh.
"Hey… what else am I supposed to say? You're doomed?" Miriam lifted one shoulder.
"Good luck, maybe," Yasmina suggested, picking up the Bible. Her fingers trace the lettering carefully. "I'll try not to, though. It'll be nice to read this. Before… whatever happens happens."
Miriam gave her a small smile before closing the door. Yasmina can hear her bidding her mother goodbye before leaving.
Yasmina heaved a great sigh before opening up the book.
"How is she?" Sammy asked as Ghaleb wheeled her into the hospital room. A shuffling entourage of Gutierrez and Fadoulas followed behind her.
Darius sat slumped in a chair on Brooklynn's left, closest to her. His head was resting on the bed, one arm supporting his chin and the other gently stroking her arm. He made no acknowledgement of their presence.
Ben sat in the chair beside Darius, arms gently hugging his torso. He smiled softly at the new arrivals, so calm and gentle in the face of everything. Brandon had been pacing, but with the group spilling in, he came to lean against the wall. His fingers tapped anxiously against the gray walls.
"She's stable," Ben informed them. "No changes, good or bad."
The usually bold Shelby had suddenly become very timid, hiding behind Rio and peaking out nervously. "You can approach her," Ghaleb assured her.
The younger girls approached Brooklynn as if one misstep would result in her flatlining. Slowly, they panned out, still and white. "Can I talk to her?" Shelby whispered, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
"Yeah, you can talk to her," Ben nodded, smiling softly. Sammy was grateful for him. Grateful that he could step up and be strong while she crumbled at the sight of her sisters talking to a comatose Brooklynn…
None of the girls spoke up. "What do I say?" Shelby whispered again.
"Whatever you want," Ben whispered back.
"Can she hear me?"
"Maybe, maybe not. But if she can… Maybe you can cheer her up."
Nervously, Shelby stepped forward, slowly reaching towards Brooklynn. She looked at the boys for approval before running a small finger over Brooklynn's skin. Gently petting her, she said, "I hope you wake up. I miss you."
Rio stood behind her, sobbing silently. Her face was flushed. Small tears trickled from the corners of Habeeba's eyes, but she seemed numb. The sight before her was too surreal. Sandra was stunned, standing there with a rather blank expression on her face. She was neither sad, nor angry. No one would've known she was gazing at a dying friend.
Sammy shut her mouth tightly and pressed her fist to it. Holding her breath, she glanced behind her. Jabari leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets. The corners of his mouth turned down in irritation, but his eyes darted around uncomfortably. Ghaleb leaned against the wall beside Brandon, their shoulders brushing. His expression was troubled; there was anger and grief, but also hopelessness. Apathy and restlessness mixed in his posture. He felt compelled to do something while knowing there was nothing to do.
Sammy fought against the emotions bubbling up like lava. She couldn't say everything was fine; her ability to put on a fake smile had crumbled completely. But she couldn't break down again. Not in front of her sisters. Not like this…
"Why is she like this?" Habeeba asked. "What did she do?"
"She overdosed," Ben explained softly. "She took too much medicine and her body couldn't handle it."
"And she did it on purpose?" Shelby sniffed.
Ben nodded.
"Why?" the six year old whimpered. "Was she hurtin'? Did she take more stuff thinkin' it would make her feel better?"
"... Yes… She was in pain and… she thought this would make her feel better," Ben exhaled slowly, unable to say it any other way.
Sammy held her breath, then slowly released it. Why was he right…
A half sob, half hiccup broke the silence. Ghaleb silently moved over to Rio, pulling her into a half hug and rubbing her shoulder. Her sobs were mostly silent, save for her sniffles. She leaned into his chest, saliva slowly dripping down her chin.
Lip quivering, Habeeba pressed into his other side, tears leaving marks on his shirt. Sammy wanted to reach out to them.
Rio looked over the bed, a shudder running through her. "Is Darius going to do the same?" she choked out, squeezing her eyes shut.
"No, no, Rio, he won't," Brandon quickly assured her.
She couldn't hold back the sob that welled up. And Darius still didn't move.
"Can we go home now?" Sandra murmured, still staring emotionlessly at Brooklynn.
"Yeah," Jabari seconded the idea.
Ghaleb nodded, inhaling slowly. "Let's drop you guys off at the ranch, and then we'll head back home."
"Can we join?" Ben asked. "To see Yasmina?"
"I don't… have any room in my car for you," Ghaleb grimaced. "I only have six seats."
Sammy wiped her eyes. "Mamá's comin' to pick us up. She'll take y'all home. I'll go with y'all to see Yaz…"
"Can we wait in the parking lot?" Sandra asked, frowning at Brooklynn. "I… I don't like this."
"Let's head to the parking lot then," Ghaleb murmured, herding the younger kids like ducklings out of the room. "You coming, guys?"
"I'll see if Darius wants to come," Ben said. "Meet you guys outside."
With her siblings gone, Sammy released the shuddering sob from her chest. "Thank you, Ben," she inhaled shakily. "For talking to her…"
Ben gave her his gentle, sad smile and nodded. Turning to Darius, he softly touched his shoulder. "Darius?"
The kid didn't respond.
Ben shook him. "Darius. Let's go see Yaz."
Darius was unaware of his presence.
"C'mon, D," Brandon frowned, lips pressed tightly together.
Sammy blinked back tears at his lack of awareness, Rio's words playing in the back of her head.
Ben firmly turned his chin towards him.
Darius blinked and sharply pulled away, as if Ben had assaulted him. "What?"
"We're going to see Yaz," Ben repeated.
"Okay," he shrugged, turning back to his original position.
"No, Darius," Ben grabbed his arm and pulled him back, regaining his attention. "You're coming with us. You need to say goodbye."
This got Darius's full attention and he stared at Ben with fear. "G-goodbye?"
Sammy wiped her nose on her shirt. "Darius… Yaz is going to be arrested. If she hasn't been already…"
Though it had been discussed around him, Darius had not processed this fact. "Arrested?!" he leapt to his feet.
"She tried to kill Leah yesterday," Ben said gravely. "She held a knife to her throat when Leah came to Brooklynn's room. Leah survived, but… as far as we know, Leah and her parents are going to report Yaz to the police. We need to say goodbye before she's arrested."
Darius stared in shock, his mouth moving but his brain unable to decide what to say. "She… Yaz… I…"
Ben nodded. "We're waiting for Sammy's Mom to pick up her sisters, then we'll ride with Ghaleb to his house. Hopefully we have time to say goodbye."
Darius began to hyperventilate. "No, no, no, not Yaz. Not Yaz, too. Not Yaz, too! We already have… she's here…" he glanced at Brooklynn. "Not both of them, no… No, this can't be happening, no… no… I…"
Sammy and Brandon shared a painful look. Everytime they thought it couldn't get worse, it did. Their world was shattering, slowly crumbling before them, and the only thing they could do was watch.
Darius sank back into his seat, breathing heavily. He sat there for a moment, before shaking his head. His breath slowed, and he leaned over Brooklynn's bed, crossing his arms beside her and hiding his face.
"Darius?" Brandon asked.
Darius didn't move. He refused to acknowledge them or anything else that was going on.
Sammy's phone pinged and it was Ghaleb. "Mamá's here," she sniffed. "Ghaleb wants to go."
"Darius, we have to go," Ben insisted, gently shaking his arms.
Darius pushed him away. "Then go!"
"But Yaz—" Ben started.
"Go!" he snapped. "Yaz is fine!"
Ben stumbled back in shock. "Darius, she's going to be arrested!"
"D, she needs you!" Brandon gaped, hands shaking.
"No, she doesn't," Darius growled, tension running through his posture. "Yaz is fine."
"Darius…" Sammy breathed, unable to finish her sentence. "You're our leader. You're Yaz's leader. You should be there for her!"
"Darius," Ben said, his voice low and stern.
"Brooklynn needs me," Darius hissed, ignoring them all to look at her.
"Darius, when she's in prison, you'll…" Ben started to snap, then inhaled slowly. He took a moment to breathe, clenching his fists. "Fine… We'll go."
"I'll stay with Darius," Brandon whispered, eyes glassy.
Ben maneuvered Sammy's wheelchair and began pushing her out the door towards the parking lot. Sammy slowly chewed on her nail, too shocked to cry. "Why…" she whispered. "He… He's abandoning Yaz… He's abandoning all of us…"
Ben sighed, anger showing through more than he would probably like. "It's… All he can do is think about Brooklynn. And that's overwhelming on its own… Guess it's easier to pretend Yaz is fine… I just know when things settle and he can process the rest that he's going to regret not saying goodbye…"
Sammy wiped her face. "I wish Rio hadn't said that… Do you think Darius would? You know, follow Brooklynn…"
Ben chewed on his lip. "Let's not entertain that, shall we?"
His answer didn't comfort her, and Sammy found herself worrying that things were going to get way worse. That things would be unsalvageable in the end…
"God, I'm sorry for worrying," she admitted as she pulled herself into the front seat of Ghaleb's car. "I know I should trust you… But if I'm being honest right now, I don't. I want to, but I'm scared… It looks like everything's going downhill… Do you really have it? Are you really in control? Can you fix what everyone's messed up? Can you fix Brooklynn? Yaz? Darius? Kenji?"
She hated her spiritual rollercoaster, but Sammy just didn't know how to be fixed on God…
The group entered the Fadoula house and were immediately hit with a sense of tension. "How was school?" Mrs. Fadoula asked, her jaw set.
The children mumbled various generic answers, walking on eggshells. Anger rolled off of her like fumes, and it didn't help that she avoided looking at Ghaleb and Jabari… Leaving her agitated attention solely on Habeeba, Ben, and Sammy. Jabari kicked off his shoes and sulked to his room, mumbling something about homework. Ghaleb stood awkwardly at the entrance of the kitchen. "Can I help with dinner?" he hesitantly offered.
Mrs. Fadoula inhaled slowly, her back turned to him. "Habeeba, go do your homework. Ben, Sammy, she's in her room. Wash the dishes for me."
The kids silently do as they're told, as if one word would set her off.
Ben knocks on Yasmina's door. "Yes?" she asked hesitantly.
"It's me," Ben said softly.
The door opened and Yasmina leaned against the frame, eyes drooping in sadness. "I keep waiting for it to be the police," she admitted. Looking down, a smile spread across her face. "Sammy!"
Sammy wheeled into the room and pulled herself onto the bed. Immediately, she was knocked back by Yasmina, who wrapped her arms around her in a bone-crushing hug and buried her face in her hair. Sammy chuckled with relief, tears slipping out as she smiled and nuzzled into Yasmina's shoulder. "Oh, Yaz," she sniffed. "I thought we would be too late."
"Yeah, same," Yasmina sighed as Ben joined the hug. "It's taking them a long time to come get me."
"Maybe they won't?" Sammy futility suggested.
"Maybe it's taking a while to process Leah's accusations and the paperwork," Ben pursed his lips. "Red tape and stuff."
"Guess this is why criminals get away so easily," Yasmina said dryly, earning a chuckle. They disassembled their hug and sat up. It didn't escape Sammy's notice that Yasmina gripped their hands tightly, as if they'd leave as soon as she let go. "It's been… a long day. Feels even longer when you have nothing to do. Miriam stopped by, but that's about it."
"Why'd she come by?" Sammy frowned.
Yasmina and Ben shared a glance. "You didn't tell her?"
"It's your story to tell!" Ben shrugged. "I figured you'd wanna tell her."
"Tell me what?" Sammy crossed her arms, beginning to feel a bit left out.
A shy, yet mischievous smile crept onto Yasmina's face. "After I… Well, how much do you know about me and Leah?"
Sammy dropped her arms and shoulders. "You're stalling. But not much. You threatened her with a knife, right?"
"Yes, my great-grandfather's knife," Yasmina clasped her hands together and pointed absentmindedly. She began to explain what led to her attempting murder, starting with her reaction to the video. Sammy could feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. This was so much worse than she had thought… While Yasmina explained things as if she was more or less aware of her actions, Sammy feared that wasn't entirely true… While her best friend seemed mentally sound at the moment, she wasn't so sure that was how she was all the time… Brooklynn's attempt had pushed her over the edge. Yasmina had lost her mind, her grip on reality. She needed help, professional help. She didn't need to be locked up… She needed therapy! She needed sanity!
But the system wouldn't care… It didn't matter why Yasmina did what she did, all that was important to them was that she did it… Hope began to sputter in her heart.
"I held the knife to her throat," Yasmina murmured. "We argued. Leah admitted that she did it, more or less… I was going to do it. I was going to slit her throat… And then… a voice… told me not to… It felt audible, like someone else was in the room. It told me that vengeance was the Lord's. Told me to hold off…"
Sammy blinked, eyes widening. Vengeance was the Lord's? Yasmina… didn't believe…
"I weighed the cost and realized I was hurting everyone else," she murmured. "I realized there was no way I could hide the body, go after Blizzard, and get away with it. I was only hurting you guys… I backed off. Then Leah's parents came in and they argued and… Well, her rant explained a lot of her behavior. Gave me a bit of closure, admittedly. They left and I… I was at my lowest point in life… Then Ben came in and… I…"
Her hand trembled, and Sammy couldn't help but fear the worst.
"I finally did it," Yasmina smiled tearfully at her. "I surrendered it all to God."
Sammy stared before the full meaning hit her. "You, wait…" she stuttered. "Wait…" Joy began to rise up. "Wait, you?"
Yasmina's smile widened and a tear slid down her cheek. Ben gently clapped his hands and pressed them against his mouth, eyes watering as well.
"You… You're saved?" Sammy whispered, her lower lip quivering.
"Yeah," Yasmina squeaked, pressing her hand to her mouth.
And they were both crying.
Sammy squeezed her best friend, gripping her shirt and sobbing into her shoulder. "I felt it, Sammy, I felt his love," Yasmina half laughed, half cried.
Sammy couldn't make any noise other than sobs. After several days of her life nosediving with no hope in sight, she couldn't help it. It was the best news she had received in days. The fact that Yasmina had finally come around with such sincerity. She had really come around. She had found Jesus. Yasmina really had… Sammy couldn't believe it.
Finally, she formed the words, "I'm so happy…"
Yasmina started laughing more than crying. "Me too."
Sammy relaxed against her friend, content to just hold her. Maybe God did have it. Maybe things were turning around.
The door creaked open and Ghaleb stepped halfway in. He wouldn't meet Yasmina's eyes.
"... Hey…" Yasmina croaked out.
He opened his mouth as if to speak, then shut it. "I can't… I don't…"
He shut the door again, leaving the group in awkward silence.
Sammy gently pulled back, looking at her friend. Yasmina's face was set with determination, but her brother's avoidance clearly hurt her. "I hate this… this… cold silence… My mother won't even look at me… Now Ghaleb…"
"He'll come around," Ben assured her softly. "He loves you. It's just… shocking…"
"I'm tearing this family apart," she whispered, looking sick to her stomach.
"No, no, you're not," Sammy insisted, taking her hands.
"Mom pretty much screamed at me last night," she said grimly. "I deserved all of it… My step-dad's disappointed but he stuck up for me… And… apparently Ghaleb and Jabari have been getting into porn, which Mom was not happy about… And I managed to outdo both of them… If I make Mom miscarry…"
"That's why I had Miriam bring over a Bible," Ben smiled sadly. "It looks bad right now, but God's got a plan. A good plan. He's with us through all of this."
He took both their hands. "He knows our pain. He had to watch his Son die a terrible death. He watched him go down to Hell. he's not going to abandon us to deal with this alone. He hasn't abandoned Brooklynn, or you, Yasmina."
She smiled, calm and comforted despite the circumstances. "I know. I accept whatever consequences I get… Right now, I'm praying for my family. And you guys. Prison won't be fun, but God will be with me. I'm more worried about my family. He's with them, but they don't know that…"
"You're not afraid to go to prison?" Sammy blinked in disbelief.
"I mean, it's scary, don't get me wrong," Yasmina murmured. "But… I know where I'm going. And I know where my family's going right now. It's not good. Prison is temporary, but Hell… It's eternal. I'm more worried for my family and Brooklynn than me."
Sammy shuddered. She felt a storm of emotions in her heart. Fear, sadness, worry, and anger. Anger at herself for being so shaken. Besides Brooklynn, Yasmina was in the worst situation. And yet, she was calm. Upset, definitely, but her eyes were on her family, not her.
"Going to prison… The thing that hurts the most about it is what it will do to you guys," Yasmina whispered. "It hurts to know that Habeeba will have to go years without her older sister. My new sibling won't know me. You guys will miss me… That's why I'm praying for the best outcome for you guys."
Sammy sucked in a shaky breath and rubbed her friend's shoulder. "And I pray for the best outcome for you… Cause I can't bear the thought of you in prison. You know…" She decided to step out in faith. "God's the god of the impossible. Maybe they haven't arrested you because of him. Maybe you won't have to go to prison.
Yasmina and Ben winced. "God…" she grimaced. "Told me to plead guilty."
"What?" Sammy's heart stopped. "What do you mean?"
"He told me to plead guilty," she repeated. "To be honest…"
"No!" Sammy protested. "That doesn't… But then… You wouldn't have a chance! How many years would you be locked away?"
"Probably close to ten or fifteen," she mumbled.
"You can't!" Sammy pleaded.
Yasmina stared at her hands, tearing up again. "I can… I have to… I know God's voice. I know what he said. I don't think I have a strong enough defense to avoid it. I know if I followed through with my plan, things would be worse… And maybe pleading guilty will give me a lesser sentence? I don't know… All I know is that God can't get me in a worse situation than I can… Why not give his ideas a chance for a change?"
Sammy glared at her, angry, hurt, and jealous. Why did it feel like she had just gotten Yasmina back, only to find out she'd lose her soon? Why did God have to tell her that? Why did Yasmina not only obey without putting up a fight, but seem so much more confident in God's plan than Sammy?
Finally, she sniffed, wiping away her tears. "Yeah… I just… I hope… I hope he doesn't lock you up."
"Me too," Yasmina pulled her into another hug. "Guess the only thing I can do now is obey and see where he takes me."
"Yeah…" Sammy whispered, hoping this would end well. Hoping that Yasmina wouldn't be horribly punished and fall away from God. Then again… Yasmina's faith seemed infinitely stronger than Sammy's at the moment…
"Darius," Brandon whispered.
His brother didn't answer.
Brandon paced around the room, breathing loudly. "C'mon, D, stop doing that. I… I know little B's here but…" He glanced at Brooklynn, the sight of her making his stomach uneasy.
He slumped in the seat beside Darius and leaned his head back. The off white ceiling tiles with dust around the edges were way too familiar for his liking. He and Darius had been in hospitals too many times lately. Too many times, they had been losing someone close…
His head lolled to the side, watching his brother. He hadn't moved from his position; he was bent over, resting his head on Brooklynn's bed. First his father, now Brooklynn… Losing their dad had been hard enough on Darius. He had retreated to his room. Brandon barely saw him; he only appeared to go to school and eat meals. With their mother having to pick up more work, Brandon was left to take care of the house and Darius…
Why did they have to be back there again? Darius shutting everyone out and Brandon trying to take care of him?
"Darius, please," he begged.
Darius didn't move.
Brandon fidgeted in his seat. "You know, Rio scared me, man. What she said about you trying, too… I can't stop thinking about it… About if she… Would you…"
There was no acknowledgement.
Brandon wiped his face and put on his stern, big brother attitude. "Tomorrow, we're going to school, whether you like it or not. Alright? Mom's busy with work, so I'm in charge. I say we're going to school. No more of this staring at her business."
Nothing.
Brandon began to breathe heavier. "I know you won't like it, and I'll drag you to school if I have to. You're not okay, D. This isn't okay. Miss Emma was right. I should've sided with her. I didn't know I should, you know? I'm just trying to take care of you, man…"
He glanced at the heart monitor. "I miss her, too. I want her back just as much as you. She's like the little sister I've never had… But you gotta live, D. She'd want you to live. Please, talk to me."
Why should he have expected an answer…
"You should've gone with Ben and Sammy," he mumbled. "Yaz isn't fine. And if she's in prison, who knows how long it'll be until you see her again. When you can visit her… D, you have to see her before things hit the fan…"
He was afraid to touch Darius.
Brandon threw up his hands. "It'd be easier to talk to Brooklynn, man! I'm really starting to worry!"
Was… Was he doing this on purpose? At this point, there was no way Darius was intentionally ignoring Brandon. This was more than zoning out…
Brandon researched Dissociative disorders and how to help. "All it's saying is to help you get therapy and make sure you feel safe," Brandon sighed. "But this doesn't come from something during childhood… Did it? No, your needs were met as a kid. This… D, why are you doing this? How can I help you?"
At a loss, he researched more. "It's a sign of trauma and a coping mechanism… Sounds more like you," he murmured. "This is too much for you to handle, so… I guess it's easier to be detached from reality for most of the day? Sometimes that would be nice…" Brandon let his mind wander to the thought of doing that, before reigning himself back in. "Okay, how to bring someone back from dissociating…"
Unfortunately, most required talking to the victim, or something to taste or feel… Ice cubes seemed like an easy recommendation…
"I'm going to get ice from a nurse, D," he explained, moving to the door. "Maybe this'll bring you back."
Looking over his brother's catatonic state left a horrible sense of worry in his stomach, like he had contracted food poisoning. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm gonna help you, Darius," he whispered. "I have to. I promised Dad."
Author's note (updated April 1st, 2025)
I know season 3 of Chaos Theory is coming out this thursday. I have found a way to watch it, so PLEASE do not spoil in the comments.
IF YOU SPOIL IN THE COMMENTS... I will kill a character. FOR EVERY SPOILER THERE IS, A CHARACTER WILL DIE. TRY ME.