Prologue: Hired
It started one morning as an alarm clock rang out. A red hand slammed it shut to stop the alarm. It was followed by a grumble of a girl in bed. The silhouette stood up and got out of bed, letting the blanket fall off of her nude, crimson red body as she scratched her head. She would've liked to sleep longer, but today was too important to just sleep away.
She had a moderate bust of Double-C's. That said, she would've liked to get a bigger bust... What she didn't like, however, was her scraggly black hair dangling down in front of her eyes. She grumbled once again before she brushed it down behind her with her hands. picked up a red and black plaid shirt, followed by a dark gray jean jacket and a black skirt before putting them in one at a time. Then, she went to a mirror and looked at herself. She had two demon horns sticking out of her short, chin-length black hair with red tips at the end. It was at that moment when she heard someone call down from below.
"Andi! Are you all dressed up for work yet?" her mother asked. Andi looked at herself in the mirror and smiled, seeing that her hair was brushed nicely despite the horns sticking out. She had blood red skim and yellow eyes with black spots inside, though the outside of them had pink pupils surrounding them.
"Just finished, mom! I'll be right down!" Andi called out. Before that, she opened the window and looked out of it. The first thing she saw was a giant building with demon horns sticking out of both sides. She breathed in the air before she replied.
"Good morning, IMP. Wish me luck."
Andi closed the windows and went outside the room. Going down the stairs, she found someone waiting for her at the bottom. She had hot pink skin, an hourglass figure, and a barbed spade-shaped tail with a black tip. She had two black tipped horns with a black star on each side and her left horn is slightly taller than the other. Her name was Verosika Mayday.
Her eyes were hot pink with yellow sclera and a black heart under the corner of her right eye. She had long ombre-white hair with pink undertones, from lighter to darker towards the tips, and a darker pink streak down the length and across the bangs.
She also had a red heart-shaped tattoo on her right upper arm, which had Blitzo's name, whoever it was, written within it that has been crossed out with a big black 'X'. Her hair matched her accessorized pink fur coat, under which she wore a tightly-fitted white and black mini dress. The dress featured a prominent contrasting 'X' and 'O' pattern on the chest, as well as a star design on the abdomen.
She also wore long black thigh-highs with black high heels that have a heart motif and three X-shaped cutouts down the sides, along with a pair of round shades with pink heart designs in the lenses. She held her arms out as she hugged her daughter.
"Aw, my little peanut-butter cup is getting a job~" Verosika cooed. Caught in her vice grip, Andi was caught in-between her chest mounds. She reached her arms around her mother to hug her back. After that, she used her arms to move her mother's off of her. Needless to say, she was embarrassed by the gesture rather than the result.
"Mom… come on. I love you, but you know I can't be late." Andi pointed out. Verosika had a bashful look, realizing she overstepped a bit.
"Oh. You're right. I-I can't get in the way of you getting hired." Verosika paused for a moment to mutter under her breath.
"Even if it's by that fuckstain…"
Andi placed her hand on her mother's to get her out of it. "Mom, you know this place is the only thing that can help me with my…" Andi looked left and right to make sure nobody else was around before whispering into her ear. "My urges…"
Her mom sighed before she replied solemnly. "I know. I know… It's just… it's hard to let go. Work with him long enough, and you'll know what I'm talking about." Andi gave her mom a gentle hug before she reassured her.
"I'll be okay, mom. Really." Andi said softly. Just then, she heard a bus honking outside. "Oh! That's my bus! I gotta get on!"
Andi took off in a rush. But in her haste, Verosika noticed one key detail.
"Oh, wait, Andi!" she called out. Andi stopped before she could reach the door. She turned around to see her mom holding a flail in her hands. It was a long metal stick with a wrecking ball that had spikes on it.
"You forgot your flail!" Verosika said as she held it out. Andi gasped before she grasped it from her mom. After retrieving it, she ran out the door.
"Oh, that was close. Thanks, mom! I hope you have a nice day at work!" Andi waved before she ran to her ride. The demon mom watched as her daughter boarded the bus with her weapon in tow. She had a longing smile on her face as she held her hands together.
"You, too, Andi Mayday. You, too…" Verosika spoke to herself with pride.
20 minutes later, the bus parked just at the front of the building Andi looked at earlier this morning. It was much bigger up close than she thought it looked. She stared at it in wonder before she walked in through the entrance. Once she got in, she saw a hellhound at the end of the entrance hall.
She had a pointed, dog-like muzzle with sharp and pointy teeth, and a dark gray nose. Her eyes had red sclera with white irises, and she wears dark gray eyeshadow. She also had a piercing on her right eyebrow.
Her fur was white with gray encircling her face, gray patches on her shoulders, and long, voluminous silver hair swept to the side to reveal her dark gray ears - the right of which is pierced with two small hoop earrings, the left which is ragged. She has a large, dark gray bushy tail with white on the underside. And her own bust of Double-D's was close to Andi's, but only by one size.
Her outfit featured a spiked black choker. Her tattered gray, off-the-shoulder crop-top is held up at the neckline by a series of criss-cross spaghetti-straps that form an inverted pentagram. She also wore shorts that were tattered at the hems, with a crescent moon detail on the right side. She was accessorized with fingerless gloves and black toeless stockings, with her black claws protruding due to her digitigrade stance.
At the moment, she was watching something on the computer, seemingly full of disinterest. Andi figured she was more mellow. She cleared her throat and walked up to the Hellhound, albeit a bit anxiously. When she was up in front of her, Andi tried to speak up.
"Uh, excuse me." She tried to introduce. "Hi. Um, my name's Andi. I'm here to apply for–"
Before she could finish, the Hellhound cut her off. "Sorry, but we're not looking for appointments right now."
Andi blinked her eyes with a confused expression. "Uh… but your sign said you're hiring." Andi pointed behind her towards the Help Wanted sign plastered near the entrance doors outside. The Hellhound noticed it too, and she realized where she was getting at.
"Oh." The Hellhound realized. "Hang on, kid. Let me just call my employer real quick. He's a bit of a prick." Loona dialed on the phone, dragging her fingers on the circle to the line before holding the bone phone up to her ear. It rang for a moment before someone picked it up.
"Yeah, what is it?" the employer asked.
"Someone's here to apply for a job. Said her name was Andi." the Hellhound spoke.
Suddenly, the voice on the other end shouted into it.
"ARE YOU SHITTING ME, LOONA?! We're not looking for any appointments right now! This is a bad time for it!" He cried out in fury. Andi flinched when she heard him swear at the Hellhound. Did she come at a bad time after all...? She only sighed before she glanced at Andi.
"Yeah, sorry. You gotta come back later." Loona said dismissively. Andi had a nervous laugh as she rubbed the back of her head.
"Well, uh… the thing is my bus won't come pick me up until 3:00, so…" Andi said awkwardly. It came much to her disliking, but Loona spoke back into the phone as she explained it to him.
"She said she can't leave until 3:00." she replied.
The voice on the other end sighed in defeat.
"Does she at least have a weapon?" he asked incredulously.
Loona held her hand over the speaking end before she repeated a question.
"Do you have a weapon?" she repeated blankly. Andi nodded and held out her flail she nearly forgot to bring.
"I got a flail. Not to brag, but I'm pretty good at getting the swing of things." Andi blinked her right eye in reverence to her joke. "Huh?" Loona continued to stare at her unimpressed before she answered.
"She's got a flail." she bluntly replied.
"Well, fan-fucking-tastic, Loona. Send her over." her boss called out before the call abruptly ended. And with that, Loona put the bone on the telephone before she looked at her.
"Okay. It sounds like you're in." Loona responded. Andi had an excited face as she gasped.
"Yes! I'm finally in IMP Headquarters! This is gonna be so cool!" Andi beamed, her hands shaking in awe as Loona stood up from her desk.
"Well, prepare to be surprised."
A few minutes later, Loona and Andi were in front of the door to IMP headquarters. On the door was a crude sign made from a sheet of notebook paper that read, "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it under the flickering light. Andi was left speechless at the sight.
"Huh. I thought it would look a little more impressive than that. The hall's pretty nice, though." Andi spoke honestly. Loona kept her dispassionate look as she knocked on the door. A few seconds later, someone opened the door. He had crimson skin with white blotches of various sizes that cover parts of his forearms, chest, and his tail, as well as most of the right side of his face. He had black spines on his head and upper back, as well as on his tail, which ends with a triangular point that has a black spot at the tip. He also had fairly broad forearms and hands, pointed feet with boot-like heels, and a long, narrow head, out of which extended large, curved, black and white striped horns. His eyes were red and his sclerae were yellow, lined with a thick circle of black. He had a heart-shaped skull symbol on the center of his forehead.
For his attire, he wore a tattered slate-gray collared coat with red buttons down the breast, black knee-high boots (incidentally matching the same heeled shape as his feet), and elbow length black, fingerless gloves, featuring large, rounded, yellow decorations on the upper side of them. He also wore a red skull charm around his neck.
"Okay, we don't have time for an interview right now, so let's make this quick and–" Loona's boss began, but before he could finish, he took a good look at Andi beside Loona. She anxiously waved to him with her flail in her other hand.
"Uh… hi." she responded with uncertainty. For a moment, he stood silent before he sped up the introductions.
"Hey, my name is Blitzø the O is silent, get inside." Blitzø promptly said. He took Andi by her hand and dragged her inside as Loona went in, too, followed by the loud slam of the door. Blitzø took Andi over to the seat on the far left end of the table. Loona sat down beside her while Blitzo spoke to her.
"Okay, I'm sure you came here to apply," Blitzø pointed out, "and really, I can't blame you, but we have a REALLY fucking important meeting to cover right now, so bear with us, alright?" Andi was confused by the way her new boss started off things, but she nonetheless agreed.
"Okay." Andi nodded. Blitzø smiled at Andi, pinching her little cheek.
"Oh, I think I'm gonna like you already." Blitzø smiled. He walked away from her before Andi met the rest of the crew. One of the demons, Moxxie, had red skin and white freckles on his cheeks with his white pointy hair leading up to his curvy black and white striped horns. He also had yellow sclera with black slit pupils, along with a long, red thin tail with a quadrilateral barb at the end, as well as lanky digitigrade legs ending in what appeared to be cloven red hooves, reminiscent of artiodactyls. His outfit consisted of a navy-black coat with red buttons and white cuffs, black pants a white shirt that had a black turtleneck, a large red bow-tie, and fingerless gloves.
The other demon, Millie, had a long, devilish tail, along with red skin with white markings on her forearms and tail; eyes with yellow scleras and black pupils; darker red eyeshadow; black lipstick on her lips; and long black eyelashes that extended beyond the sides of her hair.
She also had two black horns with three thin white stripes and dark gray hair worn in a messy bob style with bangs that covered half of her right horn. She had a beauty mark on her left cheek and a gap between her front teeth. The demon also had a black tattoo in the shape of a heart on her left shoulder. Her head was noticeably more human-like (although still without a nose) than a lot of other imps, having rounder proportions and front teeth that usually appeared flatter than the sharp conical teeth most demons have.
Her usual attire consisted of a black cold-shoulder crop top with gold buttons where the straps at the top meet the torso piece, black fingerless gloves, a black choker around her neck, torn black pants, and black toeless footwear that exposed her hoof-like toes. They both stood there and waved to her with Andi waving back to them before Blitzø started the meeting in front of a whiteboard.
"Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here… Moxxie." Blitzø gave Moxxie a glance as he said it before the imp gave him a more incredulous one. "Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?"
Millie's eyes sparkled as an idea dawned on her. "What about a car wash?" she perked up. The idea made no sense to Andi. Why would they need a car wash for, and when has business become slow?
"This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay?" Moxxie pointed out.
"Uh, why would we need-?" Andi tried to ask Blitzo, but he cut her off quickly.
"Bup-bup-bup! Save your questions until the end of the meeting!" Andi grumbled as she slumped back against the chair.
"Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?" Blitzø eagerly suggested. He waved his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles flew out. Moxxie only rolled his eyes, knowing full well it wouldn't cut it, especially not with their apparent budget.
"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Moxxie chided coldly with a turn of his head.
Blitzo wrapped his arm over Moxxie's shoulder, clearly not in the mood to hear his critique.
"Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now." Blitzø sarcastically responded. He pushed Moxxie away before he got down to business. "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"
Blitzo turned on a TV that showed the I.M.P. crew. First, it showed Blitzo whacking a man in the face with a mallet. Next, Moxxie was blown away as he fired a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair. Then, Loona swung a man back and forth in her mouth like a dog with his chew toy, and Millie decapitated someone with a harpoon and laughed. Andi stood there in awe as everyone else watched it with Loona and Blitzo eating popcorn.
"Ahh, those were the good times." Blitzø reminisced fondly. "Stick around long enough, Andi, and pretty soon, that's gonna be you, too." Andi perked up a smile from Blitzo's words. Sure he was a bit… weird. But he really knew how to encourage her. Which was apparently more than Moxxie could say.
"I don't need any reminding, sir." Moxxie spoke with disdain. "Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches."
"Actually, that ad's how I got here." Andi spoke up to make a counterpoint. Blitzø turned around and spoke up.
"First of all, thanks Andi, love your enthusiasm." Blitzø And second, Moxxie, what's 'obnoxious' about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!"
Millie added to his point with eagerness. "People love musicals, sir."
"Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical." Blitzø concurred. He did jazz hands to make a point before he put on a somber look. "Are you gonna crush my musical theater dreams, like my dad did?"
Moxxie looked none too pleased with the direction he was going. "Sir–"
"'Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside."
Andi looked a bit confused, though sympathetic to him while Millie gave Moxxie a seductive smirk.
"Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?" Millie asked, perplexing her husband.
"I- What?"
"I thought I knew you~" Millie went close to him as she flirted with him.
She playfully stuck her tongue out at him as Moxxie blushed and rolled his eyes affectionately. Andi saw the interaction and grinned at them. They were the exact definition of a perfect couple, and she already loved them so much for it. Then, Blitzø continued sharing his "pain" to Moxxie.
"I can't believe you, Moxxie! After I made you employee of the month!" Blitzø tearfully held up an employee of the month plaque with Moxxie's picture on it. Needless to say, it wasn't a very flattering angle. If Andi didn't know better, she'd swear that it was just Blitzø using his makeup. Although, the eyes were a dead giveaway that it was genuine. Moxxie was dejected and defeated before he spoke to him with disdain.
"Okay, sir!" Moxxie snapped. "I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theater. Nobody actually likes the jingles!"
Millie gave her two cents about it personally. "I liked it."
"Do not- Do not agree with him in front of me!" Moxxie spoke flustered.
Andi raised her hand up, making Blitzø look over to her. "Yes?"
"Permission to introduce myself, sir?" Andi asked. Blitzø smiled at Andi before he nodded.
"Granted."
Andi took a deep breath.
"Okay, my name is Andi. And I wanted to apply for a job when I saw your ad. And I liked your jingle." Andi introduced.
Moxxie stared at Andi in absolute shock before his mouth hung itself open while Blitzo called him out.
"Aha!" Blitzø cried, rubbing it in his employee's face. "In your fucking face! Now, on to the next order of business: what we're supposed to do with this little shit."
Blitzø pointed past Andi towards a kid in a hospital bed. He was wearing an orange shirt with a blue hat backwards, and he seemed to be in a comatose state. He was lying on a table with three wires from a heart monitor attached to his stomach.
"Huh. How come I didn't see it before?" Andi asked, personally puzzled. Blitzø went up to her as he explained it.
"Well, we were about to hit our target, but Mr. Trigger-Fucking-Finger here got the wrong guy!"
Blitzø pointed at Moxxie, knowing exactly who to blame.
"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple." Moxxie shifted the blame quickly. Loona didn't bother looking up from her phone as she made a dry remark. "Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie."
"YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d- DO YOUR JOB!" Moxxie roared.
Blitzø was quick to stand up for the Hellhound. "Hey, now. We don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay? She didn't do anything wrong~"
Blitzø hugged and nuzzled Loona, who snarled at him. Andi became a bit nervous from seeing her growl as Moxxie retorted.
"...Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful! First, she withheld a call from Millie who got STABBED! Then, she gave me a card for weight loss, of all things! THEN–!"
Before Moxxie could continue, Blitzø cut him off.
"Okay, she's not perfect, we get that." Blitzø admitted. "But look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family."
As Blitzo held her in high regard, Loona looked up from her phone and briefly smiled, touched by his words. Andi noticed the smile and eased up a bit more. It was nice for her to know that she could smile. Of course, Moxxie remained ever adamant.
"We aren't a family, sir!" He called out. "You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!"
While Moxxie ranted, Loona continued looking at her phone, slowly flipping Moxxie off. Naturally, Blitzø took offense to that as he walked away from the table and went to the window and raised the blinds.
"That is offensive! Without homeless people, I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!" Blitzo put his face up against the window, cracking the glass, and saw a homeless demon, looking sad and holding up a sign that read "Monee helps. Satan bless." A succubus is on her cellphone and turns away from the hobo. Blitzø smugly waved at him, before lowering the window blinds as Moxxie continued while making air quotes with his hands.
"While we're on the subject of 'family', can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work?" Moxxie questioned irritably. Millie tried to help him ease up.
"Come on, sweetie. It's not that big a deal." But in doing so, she ended up stifling Moxxie, who made a shocked face from hearing her say those words.
"Excuse me... WHAT?!" Moxxie yelled. "Do I need to remind you how INVASIVE he was to our privacy?! He even tried to record us before we went to Pound Town, for crying out loud!"
"I don't see what the issue is." Blitzø shrugged, as if he didn't understand the concept at all. "There somethin' you don't want me seein'?"
Moxxie's eye twitched in anger. "No…!"
Loona snickered at the same time Blitzø was talking as Andi watched the whole conversation.
"You a baby-wiener-haver?"
When she heard her boss say it, Andi began to blush bashfully at the very idea.
"Uh, maybe don't talk about wieners around me, please…" Andi meekly asked, despite her smile. All the same, Moxxie couldn't agree more.
"Yes, sir, please stop that." He concurred. "What you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!"
"Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!" Millie laid her hand on Moxxie's shoulder to try to calm him down.
"I AM CALM!" Moxxie furiously shouted. He even started whimpering in anger while looking back at Blitzø, ready to chew him up to pieces.
"Shh-shh-shh. There, there."Millie comforted him. Andi stood there in confusion. She was about to ask how his panic attack looked, but Blitzø stopped her before she could try, talking to Moxxie while he motioned his hands, implying sexual activity.
"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside work hours. So, don't judge me!"
Andi felt something rising in her when Blitzø made his motions with his fingers. Loona noticed this and frankly became a bit concerned.
"Are you doing okay?" Loona asked.
"Uh, yeah. Just feeling a little horny…" Andi said awkwardly, "Oh, fuck you, Succubus genetics…!"
Andi held her hands all over her body, trying to keep herself stable. Loona rolled her eyes and wrapped her one arm around her and pulled her close, making her stop before she sighed with a blush.
"Feeling better?" Loona asked with a smirk.
"Yeah. This is fine… Thanks." Andi spoke contently. Loona gave Andi a small smile. The Hellhound softly rubbed her head, hearing her pur as Moxxie snapped at Blitzø.
"Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually!" Moxxie chided. Trying to prevent any further confrontation, Millie tried to pull him back down to his seat.
"Mox, he's our boss!" Millie warned. Of course, Blitzø didn't take any offense to Moxxie's remarks.
"No-no-no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive?" He smiled smugly before he spoke. "...retarded."
Andi gasped dramatically the moment he said that word, stopping her purring altogether. Of course, Moxxie was none too pleased, as usual.
"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?" Moxxie scowled. Blitzø leaned towards Moxxie with a smirk.
"It actually does." He admitted. Loona chimed in as she looked away from her phone to glare at Moxxie, fed up with his previous accusations.
"The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!" Loona scolded. Millie slammed her hand against the table, looking at Loona with anger.
"No, he's not, you BITCH!" Loona growled at Millie when she flipped him off. Andi tried to stand up for her, especially when her angrier side was being more rough with her than before.
"Okay, okay! Can you please not call her that and apologize?!" Andi urged.
"Yeah! Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!" Blitzø chimed in.
"Yes, I am!" Loona agreed.
Just then, the kid on the hospital bed broke up the argument. "You guys are all fucking assholes."
Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Andi, and Loona's eyes all widened in surprise when they turned to look at the boy Moxxie accidentally shot earlier. Blitzø had enough of the kid's nonsense.
"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!" He scolded. Moxxie pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing as he took in how much of a bad situation IMP was in.
"Ugh, this company is such a mess! How is hiring a new recruit who followed the whims of a pointless tv ad going to possibly help?" Moxxie doubted.
Andi took offense to that and was saddened sadly. Was she really not cut out for this, she thought. Moxie saw her sadness and realized his mistake as he tried to comfort her.
"Uh, no offense to you, of course." Moxxie tried to apologize. But it only filled some of the pain when Andi replied back.
"Some taken…" Moxxie began to feel guilty as Blitzø tried to lighten the mood, mostly for her sake as Loona sneered at Moxxie.
"Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit." Blitzø suggested. Andi raised her eyebrow in confusion.
"But nobody was talking about that."
"Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?" he asked. Andi rolled her eyes and snickered. "Yeah, it's pretty good…"
But the kid had had enough. He stood up from his hospital bed and pointed at Blitzø as he detached the tubes of the heart monitor from him.
"It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want death!" he mocked.
He once again pointed at Blitzø as he went on a roasting spree. "You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"
As much as he felt Blitzø deserved it, Moxxie felt it was too forthcoming. "Hey, now! That's not very–"
The kid interrupted Moxxie, intimidating him.
"If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit." the brat insulted. Millie slammed her hand on the table, with the other gesturing at Moxxie, who smiled from her support.
"That's my husband you're talkin' to!" Millie threatened. The kid only laughed at her.
"That's your husband?!" he mocked. Moxxie and Millie snarled at the kid as Andi watched. "I figured you for a slut. But I didn't know you needed dick that bad! And you!" The kid pointed at Loona next, making Andi very worried as the Hellhound looked up from her phone.
"What? What about me?" Loona snarled. The kid only crossed his arms with a prideful grin.
"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person." he proudly teased. Loona gave him a wide-eyed glare as she whined at the kid with anger, and went back to looking at her phone.
"You know, that last one wasn't so bad in comparison. It's his loss, anyway, am I right?" Andi sighed in relief. But sadly, she didn't know half of it.
"And then there's you." he pointed. Andi looked at the kid with wide eyes.
"Huh?" Andi gasped.
"You're probably just a nympho using some PSAS disease excuse to sleep around with other people!" Andi frowned at his comment, not liking what he said.
"Hey! I"m more than a nymph who sleeps with people, you little ass!" Andi snapped, growling like a feral Hellhound.
"Oh, really?" the kid bullied. "Let me guess: You came here to learn how to kill people, right? But how can you do that if you're so horny all the time? What, did your daddy forget to teach you how to fight when he left? Oh, wait. You never had one that stuck around, huh?"
As the kid mocked her with his laugh, Andi started growling and grunting, her fingers curling and her nails scratching the wood. Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie stared at her in horror as she glared at the brat. Even Loona was getting anxious.
"Andi…?" Loona asked worriedly.
"Urge to kill… rising…!" Andi warned with grunts in her voice before suddenly, her eyes went wide with fury, her teeth grinding like metal against asphalt. Her yellow eyes even turned into a black void with seething red outlines. She then let out the most bloodcurdling roar that anyone ever had the misfortune to hear.
Play Pantera Music: Pre-Hibernation
The kid watched in terror as the whole room turned red, and the newly vicious Andi set her sights on her unfortunate prey.
"You said you wanted death, right?" Andi spoke with a low growl, her voice distorted. She wasn't going to let it go. Not now. Not ever… She picked up her flail from behind her and flailed the spiked ball in the air as she shouted.
"WELL, HERE'S SOME DEATH, YOU TITTY-SUCKING PARASIIIIIIIIIITE!"
The kid immediately ran for his life before Andi gave chase, swinging her flail at the hospital bed with a roar. She smashed it to pieces in one strike, many of which flew right out of the window like rockets. It was only a matter of time before she followed pursuit. Blitzø snapped out of his momentary stupor and shouted.
"Ah, shit, she's loose! Don't let her kill that kid, or it's curtains for our business!" Blitzø
As the IMP squad chased after Andi, the kid was running down the hall, trying to get away from the berserk hybrid. But the feral Andi was hopping from wall to wall like a savage animal. And she was catching up too quickly. Andi roared as she lunged at the kid, ready to smash his head in, only to suddenly get waylaid by Loona, who pounced on her, making her drop her flail to the ground.
The kid watched in horror as Loona held the demonic Andi at bay. They were locking hands as one tried to overpower the other. It seemed to be a stalemate until Andi smirked and pulled Loona close. In one swift move, she head butted her, using the lapse to toss her through the wall.
Andi glared at the boy and walked menacingly towards her, only to get shot through her arm. She felt nothing but irritable from the wound, turning around to see that it was Moxxie who shot at her.
"Andi, I'm sure you must be a very reasonable succubus, but I can't, in good conscience, let you—" Moxxie tried to reason with her, but Andi grasped his gun and lifted it up from him, pointing the barrel right at his face!
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, BABY WIENER!" Feral Andi shouted. She struck him in the head with the barrel of a gun, much to Millie's dismay.
"Moxxie!" Millie became enraged and charged at Andi with a spear, ready to stab her, but she used her gun to shoot at the spear, making it fly right off her hand and impale itself into a wall as Millie exclaimed in shock before her face got grabbed and she smashed her to the floor as she roared. Just then, she heard the cock of a flintlock pistol, looking up to see Blitzø holding his weapon up.
"Sorry, Andi, but it's your crazy-ass revenge, or our jobs!" Blitzø shot at Andi, but she learned her lesson from last time. She dodged the bullets, jumping from wall to wall as she got closer to Blitzo. Once she was in range, she kicked his golden pistol away from his hand and punched him to the wall. He only had a short recovery before noticing that Andi wasn't in front of him anymore. And neither was the kid. He heard pitter-patters up above him, and it got worse when he saw the hole in the ceiling.
"She's in the walls…! SHE'S IN THE GODDAMN WALLS!" Blitzø cried out.
Meanwhile, the kid who insulted Andi was running further down the hall. It didn't take long for him to realize that he was completely lost. And therefore, he had no way of getting back home. But it was about to get even worse. He started hearing Andi's sadistic voice all around him.
"Here, here, little pig. Let me come in. Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin…?" Andi creepily teased. The brat trembled in fear, sweat pouring over his face as he looked left and right.
"Then I'll huff… and I'll puff… and I'll BLOW YOU DOWN!" Andi roared as she pierced her claws through the floor underneath him. He backed away as he screamed with dust bursting up into the hall as Andi laughed like a maniac.
"HERE'S ANDI!" Andi crept up to him, wildly swinging her flail, to strike him dead. But luckily for him, Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, and Loona caught up with her with Millie holding the gun up at her as the boss spoke to her. They were badly bruised by the berserk demon, but they weren't out.
"Back up, Andi! Or shit will REALLY hit the fan here!" Blitzø warned. Andi snarled at them before they heard a phone ringing. Everyone had an awkward look on their faces before Andi pointed at the glow in Loona's pocket, the growl momentarily gone.
"Hey, what's that?" Andi asked.
End Pantera Music: "Pre-Hibernation"
Loona dug into her pocket and got out her phone. When she looked at it, her eyes widened as she received a text message.
"Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all." Loona spoke, giving the good news. Blitzø looked befuddled.
"Who?" He asked.
"Him." Loona answered, pointing to the kid.
"Me?"He had a look of disbelief before Loona replied smugly without even looking up.
"Yup." she smirked.
Andi blinked her eyes, confused as much as Blitzø was.
"They wanted us to kill an actual child?" she asked.
"That's what they're sayin'." Loona reassured.
Andi blinked her eyes before she smiled devilishly at the kid while Blitzø grew a smile.
"...Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God. Go ahead, Andi. Do your thing." Blitzø urged on.
"With pleasure~" Andi spoke, her dominc growl returning as she swung her flail around and started to laugh insanely before swinging it right at his head, killing him instantly.
"OWWWW!" His body crashed into the wall as he lost his head, covering it with blood as he says this while his head rolled on the floor with his eyes turned to X's. But it didn't stop there. She began to bludgeon the bully's corpse until nothing remained but blood and bones, his clothes shredded to pieces instantly.
"That's for making fun of my dad, motherfucker!" Andi yelled triumphantly. Andi panted her breath like a rabid dog before her eyes turned back to their normal yellow. Once she realized what had happened, she had an embarrassed look on her face. Seeing the terror on her face, Loona patted her in the back.
"You feeling better?" She asked softly.
"Not really…" Andi answered sadly. Blitzø went up to Andi and looked down at her, seemingly ready to kick her out after the trouble she caused them. She had a feeling that after how she treated them, she'd never get this job.
"Well… you definitely should!" Blitzø surprised Andi with a shout of joy.
"Huh? But—" Andi was puzzled, but he didn't even give her a chance to process it.
"Come on, Andi." Blitzø complimented. "You were a total badass just trying to track that little shit down. That was amazing! Even better than Moxxie!"
"Yeah, I'll have to take offense to that, sir. But everything else is accurate." Moxxie piped up from behind. Andi held her head down and spoke sadly.
"Moxxie… I'm sorry I called you 'little wiener…'" Andi apologized with guilt. Moxxie saw the dismay and guilt on her face before Millie replied.
"Aw, it's fine, honey. You were a real assassin, back there." Millie reassured, brushing her hand on top of her head.
"It's not that often people actually give me a run for my money." Loona added to this with a smile. "In a way, that actually makes it kinda fun."
"You really think so?"Andi blinked her eyes, confused by their positive feedback. Loona placed her hand on her shoulder.
"That shit just insulted your father. I'd be surprised if you didn't go berserk. That's what I'd do." Loona explained. Blitzø couldn't help but smile at her words.
"Aw, you would...?" Blitzø said with a biggest smile on his face, only for Loona to move her tail up to his face to block him.
Andi blushed as she looked at Loona, cuddling close to her.
"Thanks… So, does that mean I get an interview now?" Andi asked, hopefully.
"Pfft! What? After that fucking fiasco? No way." Blitzø scoffed at her idea. Andi's face held itself down in sadness before he added to it. "You get a job, silly!" Andi's face instantly shot up in surprise as Blitzø held his hand out to Andi. "Welcome to IMP, Andi. We're very glad to have you aboard."
Andi began to have tears swell up in her face, smiling brightly before she wiped them away and shook his head.
"I'm honored to be here, Blitzo."
Blitzø patted her on the head before he looked at the remains of the kid that Andi eviscerated in her frenzy.
"Now, let's get ourselves a bloodbath!" Blitzø said as he got out a golfing club before hitting the head towards a wall, covering it in blood.
An hour later, Blitzo and Moxxie were kicking the boy's corpse while Millie was stabbing him. Loona was recording everything on her phone while Andi looked at the footage with curiosity, not realizing how close she was beside Loona. Loona looked at her for a moment and smiled before looking back at her phone.
"Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!" Blitzø voiced over.
Later, Blitzo and Moxxie were wearing full hazard gear, dismembering the body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively. Andi got the bag ready as the duo got to work. Then, in an alleyway, the group were next to a dumpster, putting the body parts in a garbage bag and tying it in a knot, followed by Blitzo hugging Moxxie, Millie, Loona, and Andi as he wrapped up the voiceover.
"So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it, because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares."
After a moment of peace, Blitzø spoke up to the group as he lovingly wrapped his tail around them.
"Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child." Blitzø spoke softly. "And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully."
They all smiled at him before Andi raised her hand up. "Can I say my idea, sir?"
"Of course, Andi." Blitzø nodded gently.
Meanwhile, in the human realm, there was a newscast, showing the kid's mother tearfully holding up a bad drawing of her son. A male news reporter held a microphone up to her, looking disinterested. The headline on the screen said, "Mom sucks at drawing own kid", while the ticker bar constantly reads "There is a missing boy! Yet another missing kid!" It was a slow news day to be sure, despite her tears.
"Please! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at–" her mother begged before suddenly, Eddie's bloody body bag fell into her arms. The grisly sight terrified her.
"OHHH!" she cried out. The mother and the news reporter looked up in shock as the camera followed their gaze. Blitzo, Andi, Moxxie, and Millie are shown looking down on them through a portal. Blitzo, who held a spell book in his hands, smiled and waved at them as he replied, "You're welcome!"
Play Stranger Things Music: "Portal Drill (1:07)"
The trio, plus the new kid, disappeared in the portal as it closed on them. But then, the footage went backwards, pausing right at their appearance. The footage was shown on a TV screen in a dark and damp place. Outside the room was a dark red sky with constant lightning striking the scene. And the lightning only illuminated a fragment of the watcher's face, but even then, it was still indistinguishable, save for the ominous blue glow in his eyes.
It seemed as though vines were building up to his entire body, as if to trap him there. But slowly, they began to give way to his movement, breaking apart and releasing an unnatural air. The figure stood up from his chair, causing the vines to shed themselves from him, taking slow but sure steps towards the screen, showing off his emaciated and decayed skin. He reached his silhouetted hand and raked his muddy, yet sharp fingernails on the screen, raking it across the imps as the screen shattered to pieces, the only one left untouched still fixed on... the book.
"Ah. There you are…" said he, his red eyes fixed on the imps amongst fractured glass...
End Stranger Things Music: "Portal Drill"
A/N: Ta-da! To clear up any confusion, this will be a crossover of Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. The prologue is based on Helluva Boss' pilot to show background for Andi. And the next chapter will introduce a new OC that will be of crucial importance in the Hazbin Hotel story. And they will share the same universe as each other, hence the crossover.