Author Notes - It's been a little while since I've done a one-shot, I think. And it's really been a while since I did something centred around romance. AND it's REALLY been a while since I did a proper Deema/Goby story. I think my last Doby adventure was 'Come On Be Curious', which was all the way back in 2020. About four-and-a-half years. So if you've been craving a little extra Doby in your life, you've certainly come to the right place!

THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND FOR GOBY

For many students, high school meant one thing and one thing only: dating. Some students saved it for later and some others had no interest in it at all, but it seemed like most of them were joining in.

Such as Molly and Gil. Deema was simply trying to have her lunch at a bench a few metres away from them, and she could hardly pay attention to her own meal. How could she with all that sappy love talk going on?

'No, Gilly, you should have the first bite.'

'No, Molly, you should.'

'But you already gave me those lovely flowers. You deserve it!'

'But just yesterday you puppysat of all Bubble Puppy's puppies. All fifteen of them!'

Deema groaned, loudly. The romance between Molly and Gil was as amazing as ever. When Gil first asked her out, all the Guppies had been celebrating for weeks. It didn't make all the lovey-dovey talk any less annoying, though. And the way they constantly took bites out of each other's food and smooched every three seconds didn't help matters.

'Are you okay, Deema?'

Oona was sitting with her at the same bench, halfway through her lunch already. Deema loved hearing her voice for many reasons, and interrupting her focus on Molly and Gil's lovey romance talk was one of them.

'Yeah, I'm good,' Deema replied. 'I just wish Molly and Gil would shut up for two seconds.'

Oona giggled. 'Don't you find their romance talk adorable?'

'At first, I did. But now it's all they ever do! Do they have nothing better to do?'

'So it's kind of annoying. I think it's cute!'

A third guest joined them at the table: Nonny, who sat down right next to Oona and placed his green lunch box next to hers as well.

'Hi, Nonny!' Oona said.

Nonny waved to her. 'Hello.'

Almost as soon as he sat down, Nonny and Oona leaned into each other for a small peck on the lips. It made Deema's heart go crazy; it was absolutely adorable.

'Complaining about Molly and Gil again?' He asked.

Deema groaned again. 'I wouldn't say complaining. Just… getting annoyed with them doing it all the time. It was cute, but now I just want them to stop. Like, I get it. You're the world's most perfect couple!' She paused. 'It isn't even true. I mean, you two exist, and you guys are clearly the real perfect couple.'

Nonny blushed intensely, while Oona just laughed.

'Thanks for the compliment,' She said. 'But what about you and Goby?'

'Pffft, we're obviously perfect too,' Deema replied. 'Just… less perfect. Seriously, you two are the greatest couple in the world. Goby and I don't even come close.'

She kept up a smile, but had to resist the urge to frown. Her mind was immediately bringing up some less than pleasant thoughts. Goby had not been her first date; not even close. While Oona and Nonny were each other's first love, and both Molly and Gil only had one lover before, Deema had gone through… four now, she believed?

First it was Jacques, a sweet boy from France. Then, there was Stephen, an up-and-coming artist. And after that - as a brief experiment - Bubblia, a girl with a love for rescue work. All three relationships had proven a bit rocky, to say the least. They were all lovely people, but it all boiled down to the same story:

The lustre of dating a former Bubble Guppies star appealed to them, only for Deema's 'weirdness' and 'overdramatic attitude' to prove to be a major roadblock.

'Uh, Deema?' Nonny said. 'You're staring into space again.'

'Oh. Sorry!' Deema said, shaking her head back into focus. 'I was just… thinking.'

'About what?' Oona asked.

'About… stuff. Personal stuff.'

'Goby?'

Deema, realising that her cover had been blown, scoffed her entire meal down in seconds and almost choked in the process.

'That is a great - ack! - idea, Oona!' She said, pounding her chest. 'Maybe I should - oh my god - check up on Gob-ski. H-He might need my help for his maths exam.'

'I thought he was helping you.' Oona said.

'U-Uh, yeah. He can help me. A-Anyway, bye guys!'

And she dashed away before they could ask another question. At least it left Oona and Nonny by themselves.

'So… what did you get for lunch today, Oona?' Nonny asked.

Oona peered into her lunchbox. 'I got a peanut butter sandwich, and some carrot sticks.'

Nonny opened up his lunchbox. 'I got a cheese sandwich and some…'

With a deadpanned expression, he pulled out a bag full of carrot sticks. They were cut and stacked in a way that resembled a brick wall, with cheese sauce serving as the 'mortar'.

'Carrot bricks…' He sighed, as Oona giggled. 'Dang it, Mom.'

Deema rushed through the schoolyard, desperate to find her boyfriend. The way she was zooming, you'd think lunch time was almost over. In reality, there was still another twenty minutes to go. She finally found him when she swam around a corner, but by then she was so out of breath she couldn't even talk. Her vision had blurred a bit, and it took a little while before she could see clearly.

She gasped; Goby was talking to three other people. Which wouldn't be worrying at all if they weren't her former partners.

Goby groaned. 'I'm not sure why we're even bothering with this.'

'We're just worried, Goby,' Jacques said. 'Deema's a lovely girl, but she seems… out there, does she not?'

Deema gasped again. There was only one student in the whole school with that name, so they were talking about her!

'Don't get us wrong,' Stephen said. 'Deema is pretty awesome. There's just no way in hell that she's good dating material.'

'I mean, look at her!' Bubblia said. 'The way she wears her hair should let you know right out the gate just how… weird she is!'

Deema wanted to speak up for herself, as she often did, but there was another party involved that made it difficult: Goby himself. The sight of him talking to these people made her stay in her spot. His reaction was sooo important. She smiled; surely, he'd go to her defence.

He laughed. 'Yeah, you're right. She's definitely a weirdo.'

And Deema's everything stopped. Her heart skipped a beat. Her brain failed to pick up anything else that they were saying. It didn't matter at that point. Goby had agreed with her former partners. And that was all she needed to hear.

She zipped back around the corner before Goby could see that she was there, swimming as fast as the fences of the high school would allow her.

'Okay Deema…' She murmured to herself, pacing back and forth. 'I-It's fine. It's totally fine.'

Her racing heart and panicked chest said otherwise.

'So what if Goby agrees with your exes that you're too weird to be good dating material? T-That doesn't mean anything. He knows you really well, a-and he…' Her shoulders slumped. 'Oh, who I am kidding? If he agreed with my exes, that's the end of it. Just another failed relationship.' She puffed out her chest. 'A-Alright. This is fine. I can handle this. I will face this with dignity!'

'WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! GOBY DOESN'T THINK I'M A GOOD GIRLFRI-I-I-IEND-DUH!'

Deema was sitting on a brick fence, crying and wailing hard enough to flood a river. Zooli was sitting next to her, trying her best to be a good supportive friend. Unfortunately, she had little experience when it came to something like this.

'I'M SUCH A WEIRDO-O-O-O!'

'Deema,' Zooli said, at the earliest opportunity. 'I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding or something. He-'

'THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT ME!' Deema wailed. 'I'M THE ONLY KID NAMED 'DEEMA' IN THE WHOLE SCHOOL! AND HE AGRE-E-EED WITH MY EXES! … WAAAHHHHH!'

Zooli sighed, and rode out the storm; stopping Deema when she was in a mood was like trying to stop a hurricane. She was certain that the blonde Guppy could only have so many tears in her body, but Deema hadn't stopped. She didn't want to admit it, but Zooli understood the reaction: it looked bad. Usually, this kind of stuff came from an obvious (and frustrating) mistake. This time, Goby outright said that Deema was weird.

Eventually - and I do mean eventually - Deema's bawling calmed down a little. She was still a mess, but at least now Zooli could hear herself think. With a sigh, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a small box of tissues. It was typically used whenever Nonny's allergies started acting up, but they worked for comforting a friend too.

'Alright, Deema,' She said. 'That's enough. We're not going to get anywhere if you're crying your eyes out constantly. Use this.'

Deema took a tissue from her, and proceeded to blow her nose into it very loudly. So loudly that Zooli couldn't help cringing, especially when Deema handed the soaked piece of paper back to her. It dripped with a clear, thick liquid.

'Thanks…' Came the teary reply.

Zooli's face contorted with disgust, and she was forced to carry the tissue by the only corner that wasn't soaked. She disposed of it as quickly as she could, feeling bad for whichever janitor had to empty out that bin.

'You've had people break up with you before,' Zooli said, sitting back down. 'And you were never this upset over it. Why now?'

Deema sniffled. 'B-Because Goby is special! W-We've known each other for years. Even before we went to school together. I-I can't lose him!'

'No one said you were losing him! He can still be your friend, you know.'

'I-It wouldn't be the same…'

Zooli rolled her eyes. 'This again? I've had a lot of guys say that they wanna 'remain friends'. I don't see what the problem is. It isn't like it feels much different from a friendship anyway.'

Normally, Deema would've taken the time to say that Zooli was missing something, that typically it was a totally different feeling. But she wasn't in the mood.

'I-If Goby just wanted to be friends, that'd be okay,' She said. 'Really, it would! B-B-But… he doesn't even like me for me anymore!'

'Don't you think that's a-?' Zooli tried to ask.

'Why would he want to hang out with someone he thinks is a w-weirdo?'

'I couldn't tell you. I really couldn't.'

Deema wiped her eyes, though more tears quickly replaced them. It was, after all, in her nature to overreact to everything.

'There's… there's only one thing I can do about this,' She said. 'Well, two things, really.'

'And those two things are…?' Zooli asked.

'Either I completely forget about Goby and let him live his life without a weirdo for a girlfriend…' She clenched her fists. 'Or I fix myself up for his sake!'

Zooli's jaw dropped. 'Wait, you're going to do what now?'

Deema jumped to her tailfins. 'That's it! If I make myself less weird, then he'll want to date me more! Oh, this has gotta be the best idea I've ever had.'

'Um, more like the worst idea you've ever had. Which is saying something. If Goby is in love with you, then he wouldn't-'

But it was too late. Deema was already swimming away to start her little plan. Zooli couldn't help feeling bad for her; she had seen more cliché rom-coms than she was proud to admit.

'It'll be okay, Zooli…' She murmured. 'She'll realise what she's doing wrong. Surely.'

Deema had done a lot of research on being the 'perfect girlfriend', perhaps more than she should have. But this was serious, dang it!

The first step on Deema's plan was to go for Oona and her small make-up collection. After all, the 'perfect girlfriend' wore a decent amount of make-up. Enough to hide her worst features while highlighting her best, but not too much to make her look like a doll. Oona liked wearing a little bit of make-up herself, more than the other female Guppies, and this seemed like a much more simple step compared to the others.

Many of which involved her changing up her personality considerably…

The only problem was that Deema hadn't really tried to wear make-up before.

'So, uh… how does this stuff work?'

Sitting in Oona's room, she stared at a tiny hinged mirror with a cotton ball and a bunch of powder. There was probably a proper name for it, but she had no idea what it was.

'Deema, you have to take this slowly,' Oona said. 'If you're going to try make-up, for the first time in five years, you have to be gentle.'

Deema tapped the big pink cotton ball thing into the powder, several times. And perhaps a little too hard, because it was scattering the powder into the air and all over the desk.

'Deema, you can't-'

Suddenly, Deema dropped the cotton ball and recoiled when she felt an irritating tickle in her nose.

'Deema, are you okay?'

'Ah… ahh-!'

'Wait, don't-!'

'AAAACHOOOO!'

A little known fact about Deema was that she sneezed with the force of a hurricane. And loudly enough to wake an entire kingdom. This sneeze left rather dazed for a moment, but quickly noticed all the powder that had scattered just about everywhere on that desk. Including all over Oona's annoyed face.

'Oops,' She said, grinning nervously. 'That powder's a little… sneezy, isn't it?'

Oona dusted her face off, trying not to get it in Deema's face again. Anyone else would've left the room or given her a glare, but Oona just giggled.

'That's alright!' She said. 'I'm remembering why we stopped trying to powder your face years ago. Which makes me wonder… why are you suddenly so interested in make-up again?'

For the first time in her life, it seemed, Deema found herself lost for words. She knew her intent well, but that didn't mean that she wanted to admit it so willingly. But she couldn't deny Oona's expression of worry.

'Well, I…' She took a deep breath, and proceeded to explain herself very rapidly. 'I overheard Goby talking to my exes about me and I know it was about me because I'm the only one named Deema in the whole school and they were saying I was bad girlfriend material and a weirdo and-' She took a quick break so she could breathe. 'AND THEN HE AGREED WITH THEM!'

She buried her face in her palms, about ready to break down crying again.

'Wait, what?! That doesn't sound right.' Oona said. 'I don't think he would… Wait, what does this have to do with you wearing make-up?'

Deema sighed. 'Well, since Goby doesn't think I'm good girlfriend material, I realised that I would have to be the perfect girlfriend for him. It's all he deserves. And, according to my research, the 'perfect girlfriend' wears just the right amount of make-up.'

'Oh, Deema…'

Oona would practically feel her heart sinking. In all her years of knowing Deema, she'd never expect the curly-haired Guppy to show any self-esteem problems.

'You gotta help me.' Deema said. 'I have to be a perfect girlfriend, and you and Nonners are, like, the perfectest couple in the great wide ocean! I'm sure you can help me out.'

'If Nonny and I really are the 'perfectest' couple,' Oona said. 'It's because we just be ourselves. You should do the same.'

'But I can't be myself. 'Myself' isn't good enough.'

'I'm afraid I can't really help you. I've always believed that people should just be themselves. Unless they're just a big mean jerk. Jerks should change. But you're not a jerk. Not at all! You're Deema, and that's pretty damn special.'

For a moment, Deema was truly considering her words. Believing that she may have been right. Until, of course, she remembered what her exes were saying about her, and the casual way in which Goby seemingly agreed with every word they said. So, she pushed her chair back and headed for the door.

'Wait, Deema!' Oona called. 'Where are you going?'

'I get why you don't wanna help me,' Deema replied. 'You like me for me. And I appreciate that. Really, I do. But Goby doesn't, and I have to fix it. And if I fail and lose him anyway… well, I have to know that this won't work. If I don't try, I'll be thinking about it for years to come.'

'Deema!'

But the curly-haired Guppy had already left the room, and was probably on her way home. Oona almost got up to chase her, but kept herself in place; she knew better than anyone that Deema was a very stubborn Guppy indeed.

'I hope she realises what she's doing…' She murmured to herself. 'Or she'll only get herself hurt.'

When Goby got a message from Deema, asking for another date as soon as possible, he wasn't too surprised. If anything, he found himself laughing. It wasn't unusual at all for Deema to demand dates at the earliest possible moment.

What actually surprised him was when, in the middle of his own reply, she delivered another message: On second thought it doesnt need to be now. Maybe next week? It was the first time that she had suggested delaying a date for any reason at all. Even when he replied by telling her that the next day was just fine, the usual all-caps excitement to be found in her messages was almost non-existent.

He didn't see Deema in her bedroom, with her face in her arms.

'Oh god…' She muttered. 'Oh god no, I've already screwed up and the date hasn't even begun yet.'

She had spent multiple days researching how to be the perfect girlfriend. There was a lot, but it all boiled down to one thing: don't be weird. Or perhaps more accurately: don't be Deema. It was such a cynical way of thinking about it, but she didn't know any other way to look at it.

With a sigh, she glanced at her pet turtle, still living happily in her glass tank. Beyonda was seemingly oblivious to her owner's conflict, drifting blissfully around in the nice warm water.

'Do you think I can do it, Beyonda?' Deema asked. 'Or am I screwed?'

The turtle said absolutely nothing, for obvious reasons.

'Don't give me that look!' She groaned. 'I don't know why I go to you for advice.'

She was unaware that Ben, her little brother, was peering into her room with the most baffled expression in the world.

'MOOOM!' He yelled. 'DEEMA'S GONE CRAZY AGAIN!'

Deema groaned again, for a good three seconds. 'Leave me alone, Benny! I'm dealing with a lot right now.'

'I can't. Julia's locked me out of the room again.'

Deema bashed her face into the nearest flat surface. Though she fainted when she first received the news, she had been quite excited when her mother announced that the Swimmer family was going to have twins. She truly did love her little siblings, but the amount of times that Julia and Ben (named by their mother after her favourite tragedy) had a falling out was almost unbearable.

And she just wasn't in the mood for it.

Deema stood outside of Goby's house in a panic, feeling like she could puke out her stomach at any moment. The only thing stopping her from doing so was the knowledge that the 'perfect girlfriend' would not throw up all over her partner's porch. She recited her rules in her mind over and over again.

Don't be loud. Don't be awkward. Don't be dramatic. Don't be spontaneous. Don't be weird. Don't be… For a second, her mind ended that sentence with 'Deema'. Wild. Don't be wild. All of them were 'do not's. There weren't many 'do's to go around. Every bit of advice she could find told her what not to be.

And it all boiled down to one thing: don't be Deema.

Plucking up her courage, she finally knocked on his door. The faint reflection of herself in the small window made her cringe - she could see her iconic 'golden cinnamon rolls' hairstyle staring back at her. It had been one of the many things she had tried to change, but her hair was stubborn. No matter how many times she tried to shape it, it always snapped back to that style. Not many people knew that hairstyle was totally natural, and so changing it at all was nearly impossible.

She could only hope that she could make up for it.

'Coming!'

Deema stiffened. That was Goby's voice. His beautiful, handsome, smooth voice. It was still cracking from time-to-time, but it was typically as deep as the ocean. He was coming. She had to resist the urge to giggle about how that sounded without context. Laughing at things that accidentally sounded kind of dirty was not something the 'perfect girlfriend' did!

The door opened, and her heart almost leapt out of her chest. Goby stood right there, looking as gorgeous as ever. Deema could even see the beginning of a moustache just above his lips. It suited him so well. He wasn't bringing much with him. Just a small bag slung over his shoulder.

'Hey, Deema!' He said. 'You said you wanted to go out today?'

It wasn't just his appearance that made him so great, of course. It was his imagination. His calm attitude. His kindness. Deema didn't deserve him. She knew it. But today was her chance to work hard enough that she did.

'Yeah,' She said, calmly. 'I think it would be nice.'

Goby raised an eyebrow. Typically, Deema would start these dates by being loud. Excited. Sometimes doing something totally wild and unexpected. This time, however, the 'unexpected something' seemed to be doing none of that. He didn't think much of it. After all, Deema was highly unpredictable. Maybe 'calm and quiet' was simply what she was doing today.

'Yeah, that sounds awesome!' He said. 'What did you have in mind?'

Deema's heart skipped a beat. Oh no. She hadn't thought about that. All she had in mind was her 'perfect girlfriend' plan. Anything beyond that hadn't been planned out at all. Including what they were going to do on the date to begin with!

'Uh…'

Usually, she'd get out of a situation like this by blurting out whatever came to mind. But a solution like that was a little too Deema-ish.

'Um, it's been a pretty hectic week for me,' She eventually said. 'Maybe just a nice little walk through the town.'

'Oh,' Goby said. 'Yeah, we could do that. I'd like that. It's just nice being with you.'

'Yeah. It is. Uh, being with you, of course. I mean, I do enjoy being with me as well, but obviously I'm always with me and I'm not always with-' She cleared her throat. 'Should we head off now?'

Her insides were screaming. She had come that close to making a complete fool of herself and she had barely even started the date!

'Yeah, I'm ready!' Goby said. 'I'm always ready to be with you.'

Deema could feel her heart swelling. How she loved this boy! Hence why making sure her plan went well was so important.

She held out her hand. 'Wanna take my hand?'

Goby did so. 'Absolutely. Let's go!'

The young couple swam down the road together, heading straight for Downtown Bubbletucky. Deema loved holding Goby's hand. His grip was so nice and gentle. In contrast to her own grip.

'Dang, Deema,' Goby said with a chuckle. 'You're way stronger than me.'

'Uh, why do you say that?' Deema asked, afraid of the answer.

'Your grip is tight. Which doesn't surprise me. I mean, have you seen those arms?'

Deema's cheeks turned red. Her arms were thicker than his. And thicker than the rest of the Guppies for that matter. Somehow, she ended up being the strongest of her friends as she grew older. Normally, she was quite proud of her muscles. But the girlfriend wasn't usually meant to have the thicker arms, were they? All the pictures she saw of 'perfect couples' showed the girl being lifted up by the boy. Could she be the stronger of the two, or did that go against the 'perfect ideal' too?

This was turning out to be harder than she thought. She loosened her grip slowly and hoped he wouldn't notice.

Don't screw this up. Don't screw this up. Don't screw this-

'There is it!' Goby said. 'Downtown Bubbletucky!'

Deema let out a breath. Apparently she had been holding it? She was so focused on her 'perfect girlfriend' plan that she didn't even notice that. Indeed, they had arrived at Downtown Bubbletucky. The heart of their district. The place where all the shops were. Most notably, the supermarket that was located on the top of a hill for some reason.

'Wanna stop by for some cupcakes?' Goby asked.

It took Deema a moment to realise that she was being asked a question.

'Oh! Yeah,' She said, thinking about how to word her reply very hard. 'It'd be nice.'

As they approached the local bakery, the sweet smell of baked goods wafted over to Deema and grabbed on tight. It made her stomach growl, whereupon she realised that she hadn't eaten since breakfast. The sugary aroma of chocolate cake was especially strong on the slight breeze, and many people outside the bakery were lured in by the smell as well.

'Deema,' Goby said with a chuckle. 'You're drooling again.'

Deema almost had a heart attack. She was drooling? In front of Goby? In public?! No 'perfect girlfriend' would be caught dead doing something like that! She panicked and wiped at her mouth with her hand as hard as she could. So hard that it almost hurt. Of course, all that accomplished was getting saliva all over the back of her hand. She wiped her hand against the back of her tail, hoping that Goby didn't see that.

'There you go,' Goby said. 'That's better. You really want those cupcakes, huh?'

'Yeah,' Deema said. 'I guess so.'

Goby frowned for a moment. On every other date they had been on, Deema was the most enthusiastic person in the world. This sudden mood of hesitance had him just a little worried. Well, maybe more than a little.

'Are you okay?' He asked. 'Cos you seem a little-'

Deema cut him off with a scoff. 'Of course I'm okay. I'm on a date with you, and that's the best thing I can imagine.'

'Well, if you insist.'

'Now let's go get ourselves some cupcakes, huh?'

The offer for cupcakes almost sent Deema dashing away at the speed of light. That was certainly what Goby was expecting. But she didn't. She summoned what little restraint she had and stopped herself. No. None of that.

They swam into the bakery together. Deema expected the sweet smells, but she wasn't expecting the music playing on the speakers. It was one of their old songs. It was far from uncommon for her to hear those classics playing on the radio or in shops. And whenever she heard them, she couldn't help singing out at the top of her lungs.

'… be a princess, with a shining crown. Sparkling dress and a…'

'Hey, listen!' Goby said. 'It's one of our songs. It's the one you sang, isn't it?'

'Yeah,' Deema said, feeling her palms getting a little sweaty. 'Let's just get our food and get outta here.'

Goby grinned. 'Come on, sweetheart. You wanna sing along. You know it.'

She gulped. 'Uh, w-we're in public.'

'That's never stopped you before.'

The music on the speaker seemed so much louder than all the other people in the bakery. It was the only thing Deema could hear over her own heartbeat.

'She's gotta work for it each and…'

She gulped again, louder this time. It was getting close to the chorus. She knew that the second the chorus started playing, she'd start singing along to it so loudly that every patron in the bakery would hate her for it. This wasn't a simple trip to get some cupcakes. This felt more like an interrogation under the lamp light!

Don't sing along to it, Deema. That would be too weird. And too spontaneous. And goofy. And… and… and too Deema-ish.

That nauseous feeling in her stomach returned.

'Now tell me what she does!'

'On second thought!' Deema said. 'Maybe cupcakes are a bad idea after all!'

She ran out of the store as quickly as she could, right before the chorus could get in. So close. Too close. A second longer, and she would've made a fool of herself and Goby. She stood right next to the door, taking a deep breath.

The back of her eyes began to sting with tears. This was so much harder than she thought it would be. She'd thought for sure she could stop being so Deema-ish for the sake of her boyfriend, but it had taken every bit of energy she had just to keep it up. The date wasn't even half over yet. And she'd have to keep this up for the next one. And the next. And the next. And the-

'Deema?'

She pushed her acting talents and skills to their limits and put on a brave face. Goby looked so worried and it broke her heart. No way she was going to do that to him.

'I'm fine,' She said. 'Don't worry.'

With how good her acting skills were, Deema was all but certain that she had managed to fool Goby. Judging by that look coming her way, however, it hadn't quite done the trick.

'Are you sure?' He asked.

Deema could hear the worry in his voice. Internally, she was slapping herself. If she had done her job right, he wouldn't be worrying at all.

'Are cupcakes really a good thing to have on an empty stomach?' She said. 'I mean, really. I'd probably just make myself sick.'

'That hasn't stopped you before,' Goby said, laughing. 'Aw, man. Remember when you devoured all those cupcakes at once, and then ended up so sick that you had to puke it all up into a bin?'

Deema let out a nervous chuckle. 'Heh, yeah…'

She couldn't forget that day, even though she really wanted to. And it had been that very incident which convinced Jacques to break up with her. The 'final straw' after all of her nonsense and weirdness.

'Hey, the park's not too far from here,' Goby said. 'That oughta be a nice relaxing place for a little date.'

'Yeah,' Deema said. 'I'd like that.'

Goby was not a dense lad. He was quite smart, actually. So Deema's change in behaviour did not fly over his head. He chose not to question it too much - one learnt not to question Deema's weirdness after a short while - but it was slowly becoming harder and harder to ignore. Really, the invitation to the park was just to get her into a nice, quiet environment so there wouldn't be too many people around.

Never in his life had he seen her pass up the opportunity to sing in public.

The park, indeed, was a very calm place. There weren't a lot of people walking about, so the animals weren't quite as shy. Deema stopped at the pond for a moment so she could look at the frogs splashing about and the ducks flying around. Beep and Fernando were no longer around, but she was convinced that the ones living at the pond were their descendants.

'Deema!' Goby called from a nearby bench. 'Come and join me!'

You didn't have to tell Deema twice. She sat down right next to him. Her mind raced with questions and contradictions. How close should she get? Too close would be awkward, but too far would make it look like she didn't love him. Was too close? Too far? Was she even supposed to be on the bench to begin with? How-?

'Deema,' Goby said. 'Listen to me.'

'I-I'm listening!' Deema said. 'W-Why wouldn't I be listening?'

He held her hand in his, making her blush. The look on his face, however, made her tremble. He was frowning. Deema's mind immediately raced with awful questions and conclusions once again.

'I'm going to ask you a question,' Goby said. 'And I want you to answer it truthfully.'

'Alright,' Deema said. 'Hit me.'

He took a deep breath. 'Deema, what is going on?'

Her eyes widened. Had he caught on? He couldn't have. Not with her brilliant acting skills!

'W-What do you mean?' She asked.

'You know what I mean,' Goby said. 'You acted all calm at my doorstep. You didn't race into the bakery. You've had this nervous look on your face this whole time. And you just ran out of the bakery instead of singing along to the music! What's going on?'

'Noth-'

'And don't tell me it's nothing. I've been friends with you for about ten years now. I can tell this isn't nothing. Tell me, Deema, please.'

Deema could feel an unpleasant sting in the back of her eyeballs. Tears. She'd recognise that sensation anywhere. She gulped down the urge to cry as hard as she could. After everything she had done, she couldn't let it fail now. Though, by the sounds of it, she had never succeeded to begin with.

'Y-You don't have to worry,' Deema said, cringing at the way her own voice cracked.

'Of course I have to worry,' Goby said. 'You're my girlfriend.'

That 'G' word must've been the final straw for Deema and the dam she had built around her emotions. She tried to blink back the tears, but her vision became blurry regardless.

Don't cry, Deema. Don't cry. Don't make a fool of yourself. Don't make yourself look stupid. You can't cry in front of him. Not over something like this. You failed, Deema. It's on you. But just. Don't. Cry. That's what Deema would do. And above all else, you cannot act like-!

'Deema!' Goby yelled, standing up. 'You're crying!'

As soon as the first few tears leaked from her ducts and trickled down her cheeks, Deema realised that she had failed. And that simple realisation broke the damp entirely. The tears came rushing out faster than she could ever hope to stop them.

'I-I'M SORRY!' She wailed. 'I'm s-so sorry, G-Goby!'

Goby flinched. 'Sorry? What could you possibly have to be sorry for?'

'I-I tried! I really did! B-B-But…'

She sniffled, loudly. Her cheeks turned red as she realised that her nose was already starting to run. Which was extremely un-ladylike and very much not the look for the 'perfect girlfriend'. Her heart raced. She was becoming more and more Deema-ish by the second, and she couldn't stop it no matter how hard she tried!

'I-I couldn't…' She sniffled again. 'I couldn't do it!'

'Do what?' Goby asked, alarmed. 'You're not making any sense!'

She knew what kind of a mess she looked like. All she wanted was to stop crying for a moment! Just long enough to regain her composure and save this. But she couldn't. The tears kept coming. And her nose kept running. She wiped it with the back of her hand in a desperate attempt to save face. Of course, all that accomplished was getting the icky substance all over her hand and wrist.

Oh god. Oh my god. It's all over your- God, Deema, get a hold of yourself! Goby will dump you for sure if you don't-!

'Hold on!' Goby said. 'I'll get you a tissue.'

He rummaged through his bag for a whole packet of them, which he had with him during all his dates with Deema. It hadn't been the first time she had bawled her eyes out when they went out, but there was something distinctly different about it this time.

'Here,' He said, holding one out in front of her. 'Take it.'

Deema could hardly bear to look at him. She kept her face turned away from him.

Don't let him see your teary, snotty face. Don't look at him. Just stop crying!

'See? This is what I mean!' Goby said. 'You've never cared about people seeing you cry before. Even when your face is wetter than the ocean! What's wrong?'

She sniffled.

'At least take the tissue,' Goby said. 'We both know you need it. In fact,' He held out a few more. 'Looks like you need more than just the one.'

Deema didn't want to admit to herself, but Goby was right. She swiped the tissues out of his hand - without looking at his face - and blew her nose very loudly once again. The gross, bubbly sound only made her blush harder.

'Okay, good,' Goby said. 'Now I'm going to give you time to recompose yourself, and then you're going to tell me exactly what's going on.'

He gave her all the time in the world. Sometimes, Deema recovered in an instant. Other times, it could take hours. But luckily, it only took about ten minutes this time. And Goby sat through every second of it. Eventually, Deema's tears stopped trickling down her cheek and her nose stopped running. For the most part. She was still sniffling a little.

'If you think you're ready,' Goby said. 'Please, tell me why you're so upset. You kept saying that you tried and failed to do… something. What's going on?'

Deema summoned all the willpower she had so she could answer his question.

'I…' She replied. 'I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend.'

Goby was taken aback. 'Wait, perfect girlfriend? What are you talking about?'

'I-I overheard you talking to my exes the other day.'

'You're ex-?' He gasped. 'Oh. That.'

It was only a couple days ago at most, so Goby could easily remember the conversation. He certainly hadn't realised that Deema was there.

'Y-You said I was weird,' Deema said. 'After all my exes told you that I was terrible dating material. S-So, after hearing that, I tried to… to…'

'Oh, Deema,' Goby said. 'Please don't tell me that you're about to say what I think you're going to say. Tell me I'm wrong.'

'I… I tried to be the perfect girlfriend so you wouldn't dump me. A-And…' She stared at the ground. 'And in order to be perfect, I-I… I had to stop being like Deema.'

Admitting it to him did not make her feel any better. If anything, she just felt worse. She had made it Goby's problem now too.

'What?!' Goby cried, jumping back. 'Deema, why would you do something like that?!'

'Cos all my old dates were telling you that I wasn't good dating material!' Deema shouted. 'A-And you agreed with them!'

'Deema-'

'And I love you too much to lose you! So I thought that, maybe, if I made myself less weird and more like a 'perfect girlfriend', then you wouldn't dump me. B-But, I'm so far from the perfect girlfriend t-that I had to change almost everything about me. A-And I couldn't do it.'

She could feel the tears gathering in her eyes again.

'Deema-' Goby tried to say.

'Just dump me now,' Deema said. 'I-I can't stop being Deema. I tried. I tried really, really hard. But I just can't do it. So just make it easy for us both and-'

'Oh my god, Deema!' Goby yelled. 'Let me talk for a moment!'

Deema couldn't remember the last time that Goby yelled like that. He was usually on the quieter side. So no surprise, it managed to shut her up.

'Yes,' He said. 'I agreed with your exes that you're kind of weird. But I never said it was a problem! I was smiling. I was laughing. I know you're a weirdo.'

'T-Then why did you bother to date me?' Deema asked. 'You don't have to if you don't want to.'

Goby's jaw dropped. 'What? When did I say I didn't want to date you?'

'When you agreed-'

'I never said I didn't want to date you because of that. You didn't stay around long enough. Because I wasn't saying it was a bad thing.'

Deema looked up at him with the most puppy-dog-eyed look he had ever seen.

'S-So why are you dating me even though you think I'm a weirdo?' She asked.

'Don't you get it, Deema?' Goby said. 'I'm not dating despite your weirdness. I'm dating you because of your weirdness!'

She blinked at him. 'Oh. Huh? What?!'

Goby let out a long sigh. Well, you didn't date Deema without getting all the parts. And 'absurdly oblivious' was one of those parts.

'I've known you since preschool,' He said. 'And we've been together as friends long before you had the courage to ask me out. I know what you're like. Your exes knew nothing about you other than the fact that you're something of a celebrity. They didn't know the real you, and decided they couldn't handle it because they had some dumb expectations for you. But I do know the real you! That's why I said yes to dating you in the first place!'

Deema stared at him like he had suddenly grown a second head. Goby waited with bated breath for her response, which took a long time. And when he finally got a response, all he got was…

'Huh?'

'I chose to date you because I love you,' Goby said. 'Not what people want you to be. You don't have to- Oh god, this explains your behaviour so much. It explains why you're wearing make-up. You were repressing your own Deema-ish traits.'

'B-But, y-you…' Deema said with another sniffle. 'You love me for stuff like that?'

Goby smiled. 'Yes! I love you for it all. Your silly jokes. Your enthusiasm. Your intense emotions. Your habit of bursting into song in public. Your everything. There's not a single thing about you that I would change. As far as I'm aware, you're already the perfect girlfriend for me.'

The words slowly sunk in. And as they did, she smiled. It began as a small smile, but grew and grew and grew. Her eyes brimmed with tears again, but there weren't tears of sorrow. Well, for the most part.

'I-I'M SO SORRY!' She wailed. 'I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LOVED ME FOR MEE-HEE-HEE-UH!'

She leapt off the bench and ensnared Goby into one hell of a hug. It was always a little gross when they hugged while she was crying, because Goby just knew that her nose was running all over his shoulder. But he didn't mind. He simply rubbed circles on her back and spoke in a calm voice.

'Shh, shh, it's okay,' He said. 'You don't have to change. I don't want you to change. Be as Deema-ish as you can possibly be.'

'I-I can do that!' Deema said, sniffling for the fifteenth time that day. 'I'll be the most Deema-ish thing in the entire ocean! It can't be that hard. After all, I am Deema!'

'That's the spirit, Deema! Now there's the girl I fell in love with!'

Deema couldn't believe how blind she had been. The fans from the good old days had seen their romance coming a mile away. Perhaps it was just because fans in any fandom were obsessed with shipping, but they got it right. She could still remember seeing a drawing of their 'son' Luke from one fan, and another of their 'daughters' Amber and Diane from another. Who would've thought the fans got it so right?

Of course Goby loved her for who she was!

'So,' Goby said. 'What do you say to going back to that bakery, buying some cupcakes, and singing the radio music super loud?'

'Heck yeah!' Deema said. 'LET'S DO IT!'

With that, she zipped off into the distance. It hadn't taken long at all for her to snap back to her old self. Goby wanted that, and she was going to be the most Deema-ish person the world had known!

'WAIT, DEEMA!' Goby said, swimming after her. 'Wait for me!'

And somewhere, Oona and Zooli were preparing their 'we told you so' speeches.

THE END!

Author Notes - Fun Fact: I've actually had this story about one-third finished saved in Google Docs for a couple years now. It fell onto the back-burner in favour of more important projects. But I'm very glad that I returned to it, and I'm sure you guys are too!