The Return of Clayface
Author's Note: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Episode 7 of my Batman '66 continuation! As you might guess, this one features Clayface, who only appeared as the main villain in one story in Batman '66, followed by a smaller role in another. He also appeared in Batman '66 Meets Wonder Woman '77, but this continuation series treats that crossover as non-canon due to several out of character moments in it, such as the Joker killing Alfred by causing him to have a heart attack, as well as Batman killing somebody and feeling guilt. These moments would have never happened on the show at all, hence why I act like it doesn't exist. Anyways, on with the story, and I hope that you enjoy it!
On a busy day in Gotham City, the Gotham City Museum was hustling and bustling with many eager, youthful faces-some of which might be very familiar.
"The North African Spinosaurus," said a tour guide with a name tag that said "A. Poe" in a monotone voice as he, alongside Dick and Bonnie's high school class, walked through an exhibit hall, "is believed to have been around fifty feet, which is ten feet larger than the tyrannosaurus rex, which is believed to have been around forty feet…"
"I can't believe it, Dick," Bonnie joked as she sneakily led Dick to a nearby tyrannosaurus rex skeleton which looked down upon them, its jaws wide open. "That guide makes paleontology sound more boring than peas and carrots at dinner-time."
"Tell me about it," Dick chuckled. "What's your favorite part of paleontology, Bonnie?"
"The adrenaline of discovery," Bonnie replied, her eyes lighting up. "That feeling you get when you discover something new buried deep within the dirt and rock matches nothing else-except my newly discovered love of crime fighting, that is."
"You're really finding your footing," Dick told her. "I'm proud of you."
"Thanks, Dick," Bonnie blushed. "Remind me to introduce you to paleontology one day. Who knows-maybe it could come in handy during one of our crime fighting adventures."
The two of them made their way back to the tour guide, where he was winding their class past a small collection of porcelain jewelry locked behind a glass case.
"And these porcelain jewels," the tour guide said in his usual voice, "were excavated right here in Gotham City around two hundred years ago. They're believed to be worth around two million dollars. Isn't that something?"
"If only we'd get interrupted by a…substitute now," Bonnie giggled. "This man is driving me up the wall."
"Are you sure about this, Bonnie?" Dick asked her, and Bonnie gripped his hand.
"Of course I'm sure," Bonnie answered him. "In my experience, especially with paleontology, it's always the in-field training that yields better results-hey, what's this?"
Bonnie looked down to the floor and saw that one of her shoes was covered in a brown, sticky substance. She took one finger, wiped it on her shoe, then began sniffing it.
"What is it?" Robin asked curiously.
"It smells like…clay," Bonnie said, confused, "but it's too fresh to have come from an ancient artifact. It's almost like-"
As Bonnie said this, a chorus of screams was heard coming from the other side of the exhibit, and everyone saw a hulking brown figure in the shape of a man walking towards the glass case containing the porcelain jewels. Muck was dripping off his body with every step he took-the same kind of muck that Bonnie got on her shoe only moments before.
'Holy quagmire!" Dick gasped. "It's Clayface!"
As the museum descended into chaos, the tour guide remained unfazed by the presence of the intimidating Bat-villain.
"...and these clay artifacts were found in the lower marshlands of Gotham," he was saying, "known for their unique composition and—"
Clayface smashed open the glass case, grabbing the porcelain jewels with his muddy hands.
"Unique composition?" Clayface boomed. "You're lookin' at the most unique composition in Gotham right here!" He laughed, globs of clay landing onto the tour guide, who stared at Clayface with a blank expression on his face.
The guide blinked once. "Please refrain from handling the artifacts…"
Bonnie tugged on Dick's arm, pulling him toward a side corridor. "Let's go, Dick!" she whispered. "Time to trade this field trip for a crime-fighting expedition!"
"Holy clay chaos," Dick muttered, scanning the crowd to make sure they weren't being watched.
The two darted into a nearby bathroom, and Bonnie rummaged through her purse and handed Dick a bundle of clothes containing his Robin costume.
"It's a good thing I packed for more than just a museum tour," Bonnie quipped, pulling out her homemade mask and Robin-themed scarf.
Dick smirked. "You're getting faster at this."
Bonnie tied on her mask with an extravagant flourish. "Well, practice makes perfect-and with your track record for interrupted dates, I get plenty of practice."
When Robin and Bonnie ran back to where their class was, they saw their frightened class, all the while the tour guide was trying to soothe them in his monotone voice.
"Stay calm, children," he was saying, "and I'm sure that Batman and Robin will come help us…"
"I'm here, sir!" Robin shouted, and the class looked at them in excitement. Everyone ran up to him in eagerness, and the children began speaking all at once.
"It's Robin, the Boy Wonder!"
"Can I ride in the Batmobile!"
"Where's Batman?"
"One question at a time, citizens!" Robin said, raising his hand to the concerned teenagers. "First things first-did anyone see which way Clayface went?"
"He went that way, Robin!" said a teenage girl urgently, pointing towards the entrance of the museum, where a trail of gloopy footprints oozed across the museum's marble floor.
"Thank you, miss!" Robin remarked, his cape flying behind him as Bonnie grabbed his arm.
Following the trail, they arrived at the museum's heavy doors, where they saw the Batmobile parked outside. Batman stepped out, running towards Robin and Bonnie.
"I heard the news," Batman remarked. "Was anyone harmed?"
"Everyone's safe, Batman," Robin assured him. "But Clayface escaped with a collection of porcelain jewels."
"That Sinister Sculptor of Sludge," Batman said stoically, and he took out a small jar and a pair of Bat-Tweezers. Kneeling down, he carefully gathered a sample of the clay on the ground and sealed it inside with a cork.
"This clay may hold the key to unraveling Clayface's muddy machinations," Batman stated. "We must return to the Batcave for a full chemical analysis."
"Allow me, Batman," Bonnie offered, stepping forward. "I'm a paleontologist in training–analyzing soil, clay, and fossils is what I do best. I might be able to provide some insight."
"The Batcave is an extremely secretive location, Miss Linseed," Batman remarked. "Its security is of the utmost importance."
"She's already proven herself, Batman," Robin said eagerly, quickly chiming in. "Bonnie helped me stop the Harlequin's crime spree—and escape her Banana Split of Doom. If it weren't for her quick thinking, I'd have been blown to bits by her cherry bomb."
Bonnie smirked. "And I'd rather not have a repeat of that sticky situation."
Batman paused in order to consider Robin's words.
"Very well," he said after several seconds. "But be aware, Miss Linseed, that you'll have to be sprayed with our Bat-Sleep spray. We cannot have anybody finding out the location of the Batcave."
"Whatever you say, Batman," Bonnie said excitedly as she glanced triumphantly at Robin before following him to the Batmobile.
Batman took a canister of Bat-Sleep spray out of his utility belt and sprayed Bonnie with it. Sighing softly, Bonnie fell into Robin's lap, and everything around her faded to black.
"Rest easy, Bonnie," Robin murmured gently, trailing his fingers through her hair as she drifted off to sleep with a smile. "We've got this."
Bonnie was suddenly yanked back into consciousness via Bat-Wake as her eyes blinked and slowly opened. She let out a yawn, stretching her arms as she did so.
"How long was I out?" she yawned as she got out of the Batmobile and began following Batman and Robin around the Batcave.
"Not for long," Batman assured her. "Welcome to the Batcave, Miss Linseed."
"It looks amazing!" Bonnie exclaimed, her voice echoing throughout the secret lair. "And I thought that digging sites gave me the most adrenaline!"
Batman, Robin, and Bonnie walked over to the Hyper-Spectrograph Analyzer. The bulky machine was divided into two parts-a flat section on the left where the object to be analyzed was to be placed, and the right side was composed of many flashing buttons. Batman took the clay and gently placed it onto the machine's flat end and then pressed various buttons on it. The flat screen was flashing red and orange as it analyzed the brown mire.
"It's just as I suspected," Batman remarked. "This clay contains large quantities of bentonite."
Bonnie swiped some of the clay on her finger and rubbed it together.
"This bentonite clay is fresh," Bonnie realized. "Bentonite clay can only remain moist if it's near a constant water source. There's only one place in Gotham City that would allow Clayface access to everything he needs to retain his form-the abandoned Gotham Pottery Factory on Semple Road!"
"Holy hydrated hideouts!" Robin exclaimed.
"We have no time to lose," Batman said as everyone ran back into the Batmobile–Batman on the driver's side, Bonnie in the middle, and Robin on the passenger's side.
"Time to sleep like a fossil again it seems," Bonnie joked as Batman once again sprayed her with his Bat-Sleep spray. For a second time, she fell into Robin's lap, smiling as she drifted off to Dreamland.
After about five to ten minutes of driving, the trio arrived at the Gotham Pottery Factory, and Bonnie blinked as the world around her came back into focus. The Gotham Pottery Factory towered over them, and the smell of clay was clearly detectable in the air.
"This is it, you two," Batman said, taking a Bat-Grappling Hook from his utility belt. "As I always say…"
"Always use the window," Bonnie completed.
"Miss Linseed, you could make a great crime fighter with proper training," Batman told her proudly as the Bat-Grappling Hook gripped onto the roof of the Gotham Pottery Factory. "Remind me to teach you a thing or two once we've recuperated back at the Batcave."
"Gosh!" Robin remarked as the three of them began climbing up the abandoned building.
Once the trio reached a window, they climbed through it and found themselves in a room full of art supplies-mounds and crates of clay everywhere the eye could see, splats of paint along the walls, and even several kilns and heat lamps. Batman felt one of the heat lamps with the back of his glove.
"It's hot to the touch," he observed. "No truly abandoned building would have a hot kiln laying around."
"Look, Batman!" Robin exclaimed, pointing to the ground. "More footprints!"
"Nice observation, Robin!" Batman told his sidekick proudly as he, Robin, and Bonnie followed the trail left behind by Clayface. "Let's hurry so that we can mold Clayface's plans into submission!"
The group followed the footprints, and were close to the door leading out of the room when the footprints began to move by themselves and fly through the air!
As if flying to a centralized place, the globs of clay began to block the door. Slowly but surely they merged together to form the same grotesque man form that Robin and Bonnie saw in the Gotham City Museum.
"Well well," it laughed, sending shivers down everyone's spines. "Look who walked right into my little clay trap!"
The clay "footprints" were completely gone from the floor by now, and all that remained in the room now was Batman, Robin, Bonnie…and Clayface.
"Holy bentonite brutality!" Robin and Bonnie exclaimed at the same time, their eyes wide in surprise.
"Brutality is right," Clayface laughed, "but unlike those other Bat-Boobs, I won't be the one feeling it!"
Clayface's body began to split in half with a squelch, followed by each half splitting into its own half, and these halves began to morph into the shapes of Polka-Dot Man, King Tut, Catman, and Solomon Grundy. Color began to show in the forms, then life of its own, and after a minute, identical yet muddy clones of each of these Bat-Villains were standing in front of Bonnie and the Dynamic Duo.
"Great Scott!" Batman gasped. "Clayface has made an army out of our rogues gallery!"
"Batman: Mud Edition," Bonnie said, a trace of a smile on her face in the midst of the incoming danger. "Yuck!"
"Holy imitation intimidation!" Robin exclaimed.
"Dot's all she wrote!" laughed the Polka-Dot Man clone.
"Grundy smash Bat-bug!" the Solomon Grundy clone roared.
"My claws are sharper than any kiln-fired clay!" the Catman clone purred.
"Montu has marked your demise!" the King Tut clone grinned, pointing to the trio with a large golden staff in the shape of a snake.
The Solomon Grundy clone attempted to throw a piece of pottery at Batman, but Batman quickly jumped out of the way, and the pottery smashed against the King Tut clone when he wasn't looking.
CR-R-RACK!
"Woe is me, Anubis!" the King Tut clone cried.
The Catman clone quickly cornered Bonnie and looked down upon her with a smirk on his face.
"Nice kitty," Bonnie murmured as he picked up a table and attempted to throw it at Bonnie. Bonnie jumped out of the way, and the table smashed to bits against one of the walls.
CRASH!
Bonnie was now leaning against a small pillar as she continued dodging attacks left and right from the various Bat-Villain clones. The crime fighter-in-training quickly felt a thin stream of water trickling down her back.
"Batman! Robin!" Bonnie called out, both dodging and keeping her eye on the leaking clay at the same time. "This clay is still wet! There must be a water source nearby!"
Batman and Robin were nearby, fighting with the Solomon Grundy clone. They barely dodged a flying clay pot.
"Holy hidden hydrants!" Robin exclaimed. "You mean-?"
"Exactly!" Batman said, dodging a punch. "There's only one way that Clayface is able to keep his clay army stable!"
Bonnie nodded. "If we can just cut it off-"
Unfortunately, Bonnie's words were cut off as the King Tut clone swung his snake-like staff, forcing her to jump out of the way.
Robin wasn't having much luck, either. The Solomon Grundy clone cornered him, followed by a punch, sending the Boy Wonder slamming down onto the ground.
POWIE!
"Batman!" Robin cried. "Bonnie!"
"Robin!" Bonnie exclaimed, and she and Batman ran towards the Solomon Grundy clone. However, they were blocked by King Tut, who knocked them down with a swing of his staff!
While they were knocked down, the Polka-Dot Man clone took a dot from his suit, and it morphed into a bunch of small fists which rained down on the two heroes. Overwhelmed, the clones laughed as the fists pummeled them as much as possible. Bonnie managed to dodge a fist at one point, but it hit a clay jar, shattering it to pieces.
After about a minute or two, the fists disappeared, but the trio was much too exhausted to get up. Their vision blurry, they looked around and saw the villain clones merging back into Clayface, who was standing by a large table and making a tall clay jar.
"Let's heat things up, shall we?" Clayface sneered, placing the jar down on a slow-moving conveyor belt headed for an oversized kiln. He then picked up Batman, Robin, and Bonnie and placed each of them inside the jar, squished together like a can of sardines. "Presenting my newest creation, A Mid-Fight Villain's Dream! It's a shame that I can't be here to see it finished, though, because I've got to put my next clay crime into motion!"
With Clayface laughing as he walked away, the three heroes had defiant looks on their faces. They could only watch as the heat of the kiln felt warmer and warmer.
Will Batman and the Daring Duo escape Clayface's kiln of crime? Will Batman be barbecued? Will Bonnie be burned? Will Robin be roasted?
Find out tomorrow-same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
Author's Note: With that, Episode 7 is done! What did you think? I hope that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and stay tuned for Episode 8! Feel free to leave a favorite and a review if you like too, as those massively encourage me in my writing. Also, feel free to leave suggestions for future Batman stories too, such as villains you'd like to see, plots, etc. Thank you all so much for your support! It means a lot to me!
Until then,
Gabe S. :)