AN: Again, rape will be discussed in this chapter. Please be aware that this chapter and story could be triggering.
Luckily, we had to go to another building for biology, meaning Atlas could use the bathroom on the way to class. He was quick, not much sniffing. He was on his best behavior, and I was so proud of him. Unfortunately, we still captured the attention of the students outside, and Mike was talking my ear off. Mike was nice, but he was annoying too. He and Jessica had a lot in common.
"I know you didn't want to tell Lauren, but what is your dog for?" Mike asked. He looked at me, his eyes curious but innocent. Lauren must have been the girl who sneered at me. For some reason, thinking about the memory made me dislike her more.
"I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable sharing." I held my breath for a second, but let it go swiftly. Mike seemed disappointed, but he recovered quickly, instead talking now about how difficult our biology class was. Biology had never been a difficult class for me, and I had always been in honor classes. I doubted that I would struggle in this class, but I stayed quiet as Mike ranted. It just seemed easier that way. Disputing what he said would do nothing but bring more attention on me. That is exactly what I did not want.
We reached the biology classroom door, and Mike was still talking. I was honestly impressed at his determination, though I barely answered any of his questions the way he wanted me to. I wasn't exactly fond of digging into people's pasts in such a way, but he failed to catch onto that.
"You can go sit," I told Mike. "I have to have the teacher sign this slip of paper that the office gave me."
"Okay, we can talk again more later." He smiled, and then he entered the room, finding his seat. I didn't particularly want to talk to him more today, but it would be rude of me to say that. Maybe this is what I needed, to make friends. This entire situation was depressing, so maybe I just needed to accept things and open up. I had never been good at that in the past. Maybe now it was my turn to let the attention fall to me. Regardless, it still made me feel very uncomfortable.
I walked up to the teacher, introducing myself quietly and handing him the piece of paper that needed signed. He took it and smiled. "There's one open seat, up front with Edward."
I turned and looked where he was gesturing, and everything happened very suddenly then. I saw Edward tense, grabbing the desk roughly. His face morphed; animalistic anger painted it. Atlas bristled at my side, and I glanced down to see him silently snarling, hackles up. I felt my heart drop to my feet, and I tensed as well. This was not like Atlas. He had never acted this way to anyone…except Phil. I bristled as well then, unable to swallow or breathe. Without a single word, I turned and ran out of the classroom, originally dragging Atlas, but then he started dragging me out of the classroom. What the hell was going on?!
We stopped in the empty hallway for a second, but I was completely lost, dissociating and confused. Atlas whined, bumping me with his noise, and I tried to ground myself, running my hand through his fur. It wasn't working. I looked for an escape. I saw a bathroom sign at the end of the hallway, and I ran for it. The stalls were all small, and I chose the last one to squeeze into. Atlas crowded into the stall with me and I slammed and locked the door, dropping to my knees next to the toilet.
I knew what was coming, but I wasn't prepared for it. The room transformed in seconds, and before I knew it, I was in my bedroom at my mother's house in Phoenix. I was ten, and I was alone. My room was blue, a light shade of blue, my favorite color. My mother had just went to sleep, but I couldn't sleep, even with the room dark and quiet. I hid under my blanket, reading a book with a flashlight.
A loud thumping noise caught my attention. I looked up from my book, pausing for a second. The loud thump came again. I set the book down, removing the blanket from over me. I kept the flashlight on me as I got out of bed and stood up. The thump came again. I creeped forward. Suddenly, my door was thrown open, and my mom rushed through the door, grabbing my hand. Her hand was wet with sweat and trembling from fear.
"Keep quiet, Bella," my mom whispered, leading me back to the bed, except this time we hid behind it instead of laying on top of it. My mom was feather brained. She had no cell phone, and hadn't remembered to pay the bill for the land line. We had no way to call for help.
The thump came again, except this time it was followed by a slam. The door had been opened and thrown into the wall. My mom held her finger over her lips, encouraging me to stay quiet. The intruder was not quiet though. He was loud as he went through our things, and the sound of glass shattering made me flinch. We could hear him walk through the hallway, opening my mother's bedroom. He didn't stay there long, and he opened my bedroom door next. We stayed hidden behind the bed, praying that he would leave. That was clearly too much to hope for.
Without a word, he grabbed my mother by her hair, dragging her onto the bed. My mother screamed out of pain and fear. She fought back, but she was small compared to the intruder. There was no chance she would win. I had no idea why this was happening, and my mother didn't seem to know either, asking him over and over again what he wanted. He never replied. Instead, he ripped my mother's clothes off. She screamed again, terrified. He undid his belt and pulled his pants down. Within seconds, he was inside of her, and she shrieked in fear and pain. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes, but it felt like hours before he finished and let my mother laying on the bed, crying.
The intruder looked around the room briefly before coming around the bed and grabbing me. I screamed, again and again, but it did nothing. I felt myself wet my pants, and my mother pleaded in the background, "Please, not my daughter. Please, leave her alone."
He looked at me for a second, seeming to debate his next move, and then he threw me to the floor and ripped my clothes off. I fought him, clawing him with my finger nails. I was no match for him, and he entered me as well. The pain was excruciating, and the fear took over everything. When he was done, he left me on the floor. He glared at me angrily, and I was confused how a stranger could hate me so much.
The man exited the room, and the sound of more slamming continued as he destroyed our things. What was he looking for? My mom was still on the bed, crying. I crawled over to her, taking her hand in mind. After what seemed like hours, things went quiet. My mother had recovered somewhat, and she stood up, still holding my hand as she listened carefully to outside of my room. It stayed quiet. She carefully opened the door, looking in both directions. The man was gone. Our home was destroyed, and broken glass and ceramics made the floor dangerous to walk on. My mother navigated the room with caution, pulling her skirt back up and wiping the tears off her face with her pale, trembling hand.
"Bella, stay here. Hide and I will go and get help."
I nodded my head, backing up trough the door and making my way over to the corner behind the bed again. I grabbed my pants off of the bed and put them on, hoping I wasn't making too much noise. I was ashamed, in pain, and traumatized. I sat there and cried, waiting for my mom to return.
The room began to transform again, and I could feel that I was crying. Atlas licked my face, trying to ground me. I wasn't in my room in Phoenix anymore. I was in the bathroom, on my knees, crying hysterically. Luckily, the bathroom was empty still. I grabbed Atlas's fur and leaned into him. He was clearly concerned, whining and continuing to lick me. It seemed like forever before I was ready to get to my feet. I wiped my snotty face with my sleeve, knowing that was gross, but not quite caring.
I wasn't going back to class. I knew that much. My last class was gym, and I was not ready to handle that. I was already bad enough at sports without dealing with flashbacks and panic attacks. I picked up Atlas's leash, though it wasn't truly necessary. He wouldn't leave my side. I looked out the bathroom door, not seeing anyone. They must still be in class. This was my opportunity to escape without question. I hustled my way to the parking lot and loaded Atlas into the truck. I knew Charlie wasn't home yet. He wouldn't notice that I left school early. I wasn't ready to talk to him about my past trauma. I might never be ready. So it was good that he wouldn't realize I left school early.
The entirety of the ride home I tried to block every aspect of my flashback, but I wasn't successful. I wasn't panicking now, but I was suffering. My trauma felt raw like it had before I started therapy and got Atlas. Why was this? Was moving to Forks a mistake? But no, I realized it wasn't. All I had to do was remember Phil, and I knew that leaving Phoenix was the right choice.
The drive home seemed to take forever, but I also wasn't used to driving in this weather or area, so it might have been my nerves making me feel that way. I hopped out of the truck as soon as I parked, grabbing Atlas and my backpack and going inside. I immediately collapsed on my bed. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without nightmares, so instead I laid on my bed in silence, looking up at the ceiling. My thoughts wandered, but I remembered then the look on Edward's face, and I felt my throat close. Silent tears began to stream down my face. The look on Edward's face reminded me of the expression of my attacker. What had I done wrong? What did I do to deserve this?
I laid there in silence until I heard Charlie open the door and come into the house. I took a deep breath, wiping my face off again. I could do this. I was strong. I could do this. I got up then, heading down the stairs to see what the plan for dinner was.