CHAPTER 4

"He's broken. Definitely broken." Howard emphasizes his point by spearing a piece of diced potato on his plate. He eyes Sheldon who slowly, methodically, eats every single piece of his food while staring at his plate with unblinking eyes. Every once in a while his fingers will twitch, like he's making a mark on an equation suspended in the air.

"I'm really worried about him this time," Leonard says with sincerity. He just finished updating Raj and Howard about the oddity of last night after getting back from Howard's mom's place. When Leonard got up, everything had been cleaned up with absolutely no trace of a mess from last night. Not even a mark on the whiteboard. Sheldon had been sitting in his spot—showered and dressed and ready for work. He was doing then basically what he's doing now. The only difference now is he isn't speaking. Once in a while, Leonard will catch him mumbling something, but it's always just a little too quiet to make out.

"Maybe we need to do one of those interventions?" Howard says, more as a joke than for real. "Like in the movies. Could snap him out of it if we list all the reasons he shouldn't stop his life just because Penny isn't in it anymore."

"I didn't realize he cared so much about her," Leonard muses. His brows furrow as he watches his friend pause with his fork halfway to his mouth, shift his gaze back and forth as thoughts whirl in that big brain of his, then continue eating. Leonard wonders if Sheldon is even hearing what they're saying. He turns to the friend on his left. "What do you think, Raj?"

Raj has also been unusually quiet. When Leonard addresses him, he sits up straight, opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before shrugging. "Beats me, dude. Maybe his mind actually went back to work since, you know, he cleaned everything up."

Leonard sighs. He rubs his forehead. "I don't know anymore. I am glad he cleaned up, though. And that he's eating more."

"I could get Bernadette to talk to him," Howard offers. "She could maybe dislodge something in his brain."

"Might be a good idea," Leonard agrees. "She's not Penny, but she's the next closest thing to a girl who's a friend that he has."

"What about Amy?"

"He doesn't know her that well yet. Plus, she doesn't have the same…people skills Bernadette has. Might help if he has someone who reminds him of Penny or at least associates with her."

"Cool. I'll give her a call."

Raj remains silent throughout this exchange as he assesses Sheldon out the corner of his eye.

What he hasn't told his two friends is that Sheldon visited him this morning, early. Early, early. Like the sun's rays haven't even peaked over the horizon kind of early.

It was a frantic, rhythmic knocking accompanied by the call of his name that had Raj stumbling in all his bedtime glory to the door. He was so groggy, he didn't process that only one person in the world knocked like that, opening the door for his tall, gangly friend to rush inside, whirl around, and offer a proposition before Raj even closed the door behind him.

After several stumbled starts to the conversation, confused back and forth, and lots of coffee, Raj finally got the gist of what Sheldon came to Raj's apartment at the crack of dawn for. Sheldon had come to request the use of the CalTech telescope and wanted to use Raj's clearance to move it to the coordinates he required. When Raj asked why, Sheldon said it was for personal reasons, and he would be willing to offer Raj the entirety of his comic book collection in order to make it happen.

To say Raj balked at that would be an understatement. Sheldon's comic book collection? The entire collection? What could possibly be important enough in the cosmos for Sheldon to offer some of his most prized possessions? Sheldon would not give that information, but he handed Raj a handful of papers Raj understood about half of what was written.

"In case the other faculty ask, you can offer this as explanation."

Raj squinted at the work. "But…Sheldon, I don't understand this."

"Because it is falsified information."

"What?!"

First, offering his comic book collection, now, forging mathematics in order to get his way. This can't be Sheldon standing before him. Sheldon said his reasons were justified, but he was not allowed to share them yet, therefore, he needed a backup explanation. This convoluted mess of science gibberish made just enough sense that anyone who didn't know exactly what Sheldon was talking about would only sigh at the paper and take Sheldon's word at face value.

Sheldon said he understood the moral dilemma of the situation and offered to sweeten the deal by offering Raj his collector's edition Flash action figure.

"But, Sheldon—"

"Please."

Raj really looked at his friend then. He saw the black marks under Sheldon's eyes, his gaunt form from a lack of eating, his skin tone paler than normal and not at all healthy. What really got to Raj was the strain in Sheldon's features. It was not subtle. With that "Please", Raj saw the desperation in his friend.

Raj put down the papers and took a hold of his coffee mug in one hand and rubbed his eyes with his other. "If I do this for you, will it help you be healthier? I mean, help you get passed…help you with your grief."

At the word "grief", Sheldon had stiffened. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. He opened his mouth, and Raj was sure he was about to hear an explanation of some kind, but Sheldon stopped himself, folded his hands on the table, and nodded.

"If you do this for me," Sheldon said, "I will eat every bite of every meal, get a regular eight hours of sleep—outside of tomorrow night, of course—and…and do my best to reintegrate back into normal life."

Raj had agreed. Hours later now, sitting with his friends in CalTech's cafeteria, watching Sheldon eat every bite of his food with unfathomable thoughts going on behind those distant eyes, Raj wonders if it was the right thing to do.

Bernadette knocks on Sheldon's bedroom door and enters with a gentle call of his name. "Sheldon?"

Sheldon is standing next to his bed with several comic books open on his bed. Each one has several pages marked. Sheldon is scribbling on a small notepad. He doesn't look at Bernadette when she opens the door without his permission.

That worries her. Howard was right to give her a call. Sheldon certainly is not doing well if he doesn't admonish her for entering his room without permission.

"Hi, Sheldon," Bernadette tries again to greet him.

"Bernadette."

Well, that's something at least.

"What are you up to?" Bernadette asks.

"Taking notes," Sheldon says simply.

"What for?"

"I am going to photocopy all relevant pages from my comic books before—" Sheldon swallows. His eyes flit to Bernadette before going back to the notepad. "I am working on a personal project."

Bernadette takes a look at the comic books. Certainly if she had an interest in the hobby, she would recognize more of the names and characters strewn across the bed. However, she can name only a couple of the big names—Superman, Captain Kirk—and nothing else.

"Does this personal project have anything to do with Penny?" Bernadette asks as gently as she can.

Bernadette watches Sheldon's writing hand clench around the pencil. He narrows his eyes at Bernadette. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you have done nothing else besides look for her since she disappeared, Sheldon," Bernadette says. She steps forward. Her caring nature tells her to reach out and touch Sheldon's arm, but she knows he wouldn't appreciate it. Respecting his boundaries will get her far in this conversation. He won't close up as quickly.

"It is a project," Sheldon says simply which explains nothing.

Bernadette realizes she won't get very far with this line of questioning. She goes for a different strategy. "You care a lot for her, don't you?" She makes sure to use the present tense and not the past tense that Howard accidentally does sometimes. None of them have fully given up hope, but they feel the strength of their hope waning. Nobody acknowledges it.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Sheldon says.

"She cares about you quite a lot," Bernadette says, undeterred. Despite Sheldon not responding to this, she knows he's listening because she sees his eyes flicker to her for a brief moment. "She talks about you all the time."

Sheldon makes a derisive noise. "No doubt to complain."

Bernadette smiles. "Sometimes. But mostly I just hear the love in her voice."

The tip of Sheldon's pencil snaps. Bernadette sees his upper lip twitch into a sneer. He carefully deposits the broken lead into the garbage, grabs a pencil sharpener from his desk, and gets to work.

"I didn't mean to startle you with that. I thought you knew," Bernadette says. She stays standing by his bedside. "I think you're her best friend, in a way."

"I hardly think that information is accurate," Sheldon says sharply, like he doesn't want to hear or believe the words.

"Most of the conversations we have revolving around you and the boys have your name coming up more than any other," Bernadette says honestly. "There may be complaining, but it's crazy how much she cares about you. She cares about you so much, Sheldon. She wouldn't like to see you like this."

Sheldon whips around and glares at Bernadette with an amount of emotion Bernadette has never seen from Sheldon.

"And how could you possibly know what she would want? There may be other factors at play you could not possibly comprehend. Maybe she is focusing on something completely separate from anything going on in our lives at this given time."

Sheldon's face twitches in a way that makes Bernadette worry even more. She realizes she stepped across a line she was unaware was there. She immediately starts to reverse course.

"You're right," Bernadette says Sheldon's favorite words. "I have no idea what she's thinking right now, but, Sheldon, do you really think she would want you to live so unhealthily if she were here right now in this room? You're not eating, you're not working. I'd venture to say if she were here, she would probably force you to take care of yourself, don't you think?"

The pencil in Sheldon's hand snaps in half. "She's not here right now," he says very slowly.

"I know, and that hurts, doesn't it?" Bernadette can't help the tears that form when she says this. "I miss her." Her lower lip trembles.

The anger dissipates from Sheldon's features and is replaced by confusion and bafflement. He stands up straight again, still staring at Bernadette who wipes away the few tears that managed to escape.

"I know you miss her too," Bernadette says. "You're not alone in feeling pain."

Sheldon stares down at his bed. His eyebrows crease together in thought. Then he sets down the notepad and pieces of the pencil. He steps over to Bernadette, reaches out, and pats her on the shoulder.

"There, there," he says.

It's the usual comforting words of Sheldon but spoken in a non-Sheldon way. Bernadette is surprised to hear actual compassion—well, that may be a stretch. It's at least spoken in a less robotic way. That's certainly a milestone.

"Thanks, Sheldon," Bernadette says. She sighs. She did not intend to cry during this conversation. Shelon usually doesn't respond well to tears. "I'm sorry for intruding. I just wanted to…I want to make sure you're alright, you know?"

Sheldon retracts his hand and nods. "I understand. Thank you for your concern. However, it is no longer warranted."

"It's not?"

"A path forward is becoming much clearer."

Bernadette frowns. "What do you mean by that?"

Sheldon walks over to his door and holds it open, a clear indication that the visit is over, and he wants Bernadette to leave.

"Have a good night, Bernadette," Sheldon says as Bernadette leaves.

"Goodnight, Sheldon."

Later, when her Howie asks her how the conversation went, Bernadette summarizes it by saying, "Good…I think."

Raj drives, of course. Thankfully, with it being the middle of the night, traffic is lighter. He yawns as he pulls into CalTech's parking lot. Nobody will blink an eye at his ID card being used at one in the morning. It's certainly common for him. His guest, however, is not.

Sheldon is barely two steps behind. He sticks close, as if he fears Raj will leave him behind despite him being the whole reason for the visit.

It was a surprise to Raj at how easy it was to get Sheldon's request cleared. He was afraid of questions. There were a few, but as soon as Sheldon's name was mentioned and Raj attempted to hand over the fake paperwork, his supervisor immediately rolled his eyes and shook his head, shoving the papers right back into Raj's hands. After listening to a rant about "that lousy, know-it-all ass down in the physics department", access was granted. Raj assumed it was that easy because his supervisor didn't want to interact with Sheldon in any way. If he had denied the request, it was going to be a hassle not worth his time. He'd rather give the guy his stupid request than see his face down here complaining.

Now it's just Raj and Sheldon as they head up to the observation room. Others had heard Sheldon was going to be around and suddenly quite a few people are absent or sick or taking personal time.

Convenient.

"Would you mind setting the coordinates? You know the program better than I do."

"Sure." Raj gets the coordinates (unnecessarily) once again from Sheldon who all but drilled them into his brain on the way here. The telescope makes its slow move to the correct position. When it's settled, Sheldon immediately goes over Raj's work, confirms it to be where it needs to be, and pulls up a chair directly next to the eyepiece. He pulls out a binder and begins filtering through it. Raj stands in front of Sheldon and cannot see what is inside the binder.

Sheldon checks his watch then checks it again before continuing his perusal. He does not say nor do anything else.

"Is that it?" Raj asks.

"Is what it?" Sheldon asks, barely paying attention to Raj's inquiry.

"Is that all you wanted?" Raj clarifies. "I mean, you just looked at the stars and now you're going to sit there?"

Sheldon finally glances up at his friend. "It has not happened yet. It happens at two-thirteen exactly."

"What does?"

Sheldon opens and closes his mouth. He contemplates his answer before saying, "I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?"

"Something will happen," Sheldon says matter-of-factly.

"Let me get this straight," Raj rubs his eyes, unable to look at his friend right now, "you woke me at four in the morning to beg me to get you access to the telescope, giving up your comic book collection, your Flash action figure, have me lie to my supervisor about why you want it with fake papers only to sit here for thirty-six minutes until two-thirteen when something you don't even know might happen?"

"Something will happen," Sheldon clarifies.

Raj uncovers his eyes and stares at Sheldon. Sheldon stares back, unblinking. It's obvious he is not catching Raj's befuddlement.

Raj decides to leave it alone. A deal's a deal. "I'm gonna go get some coffee. Want anything?"

"No, thank you," Sheldon answers. He goes back to his binder.

Raj returns ten minutes later and waits in relative silence with Sheldon for the rest of the twenty minutes until whatever happens. He asks Sheldon about the binder, but when he does, Sheldon gets rather possessive of it, claiming it will become relevant after whatever happens, happens. Raj decides that he has done his due diligence in trying to engage Sheldon in conversation which he has been shut down at nearly every point. So he just sits there and waits with Sheldon. It's quite peaceful for a while, until about five minutes out from the designated time.

Raj glances at his friend and sees Sheldon having grown paler, like sickly-pale. Sweat is accumulating on his forehead, and his hands are shaking. Sheldon tries to hide this by gripping the edges of his now closed binder tightly.

"Sheldon? You ok?" Raj asks.

Sheldon's eye twitches.

Raj sits up in his chair. He sets his coffee cup down on a nearby desk. "Hey, Sheldon, what's wrong?"

Sheldon finally looks directly at Raj. "What if…?"

"What if…? What if what?" Raj asks.

Sheldon looks at his watch for the billionth time in the last half hour. "Doesn't matter, I suppose. I will have confirmation soon."

Raj frowns. He doesn't like how that sounds. "Sheldon…"

"Rajesh, please give me complete and absolute silence for the next three minutes," Sheldon says in his best professional tone. He even managed to pull himself together long enough to make it. "That is the last requirement in order to have complete ownership of my comic book collection and mint-condition Flash action figure. Are we in agreement?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll stop talking." Raj leans back in his seat. He picks his coffee cup back up. He watches as his friend does his thing.

Sheldon, for his part, had been completely calm until the five-minute countdown had begun. Then, as if a switch was flipped, he suddenly began to feel incredibly nervous. This reaction stems from several mental stimuli, mainly in the form of questions.

What if he's wrong?

What if his incredible brain had managed to conjure up the image of Penny and her message from the stars?

What if he gave up his precious comic books for nothing?

…but what if it's true?!

What is he about to see?

What vast wonders are deemed proof enough from visitors from another planet to prove their existence to humanity?

And how does Penny factor into all this?

Sheldon takes a deep, steadying breath, places his eye to the eyepiece and views the stars above.

He counts down from thirty. Closer and closer until—

Three…two…one…

There's a dull sheen of a flash that appears amongst the smattering of stars. A solid light that, to the naked eye, would not be seen, but with the telescope, can be. Then the light fades and an object is visible.

A ship.

A spaceship.

An alien spaceship.

Sheldon's brilliant, beautiful brain immediately gets to work memorizing every single last detail he can see of the ship. Its shape, its color, its orientation. Added to that, Sheldon's brain sprouts countless questions. What part would be the bridge? How does the propulsion work? How many occupants? How did the cloaking device manage to cover the whole ship?

Is Penny on that ship?

Then, just as it appeared, the ship once again disappears. The sheen of light covers it once more, then dulls into nothing, and there are only stars once more.

"Sheldon?"

No response.

"Sheldon? Sheldon! Sheldon, breathe!"

Sheldon jolts back from the telescope and takes a gasping breath. He hadn't even realized he stopped breathing. It feels like his chest is on fire as sweet, relieving air fills his lungs.

"Sheldon?" Raj has a hand on Sheldon's shoulder. His own panic is mirrored in Sheldon's eyes.

Then Sheldon looks once more through the telescope, but at a much shorter interval this time. Once he moves back, Raj takes a look. He sees nothing but the stars Sheldon had designated for him to look at. Raj leans back and gives Sheldon a curious look.

"What did you see?" Raj asks.

Sheldon is standing now. One hand covers his mouth as his brows furrow in thought. He is stiff as a board.

"Sheldon! Talk to me. What happened?"

"I…I'm feeling rather faint," Sheldon says. His voice is shaky enough that Raj readily believes him. The pasty look hasn't gotten any better. "A glass of water might help re-calibrate my senses. Would you be willing to get me one?"

Raj looks between Sheldon and the telescope a couple of times before deciding a glass of water would likely be a good thing for himself as well as Sheldon. He heads for the break room. When he returns, he sees Sheldon turning off the computer next to the telescope.

Raj's heart sinks. "Sheldon, what did you just do?"

"I have simply downloaded the half-minute segment from two-thirteen a.m. to two-thirteen and thirty seconds. It has also been wiped from the database. Your supervisor will not miss it. I've seen your reports. This computer needs updating and has had plenty of such recording glitches before. You will receive no repercussions to this."

"Sheldon, what is going on?!"

Sheldon turns to Raj with a vastly different look than the one Raj left him with. This one is that kind-of-crazy expression Sheldon gets when a scheme of his has come together perfectly. It's scary, but perhaps better than Sheldon near passing out.

Sheldon smiles his disconcerting smile at Raj and says, "Star Trek."

A/N: ABOUT CHAPTER 4: If for some reason it's still not showing up (despite me trying to fix it for weeks now), this story is cross-posted on ao3 if you can't see it here. I've tried ONCE AGAIN to fix it tonight so let's see if it works. I really don't know what else to do...any suggestions, anyone?