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Tris the Virgin
*** Like always, I have no claim over the Divergent series or the characters, all rights belong to the one and only Veronica Roth. ****************
**** I also want to give credit to the inspiration of this storyline to the creators of Jane the Virgin. Love that show… had to be done****
Trigger warning: This story will contain sexual content, mentioning of child abuse and possbile other trigger warnings. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
**** Warning, many scenes have been rewritten to fit this story line. Nothing is of what you may have remembered. Just go with it.*****
About: Tris thought it was just another day in Dauntless, just another doctor's visit… How was she to know that 7 weeks later her world as she knows it would turn upside down when she learns that she was accidentally artificially inseminated. To make things worse… The biological father is none other than the unbeatable Four (a cancer survivor) who is married to her former best friend. Things become complicated quickly in Tris' world.
Chapter 1
Tris' POV
The night before the Aptitude test
There is one mirror in my house, it's behind a wooden panel upstairs. My faction allows me to stand in front of it the second day of every third month. The day my mother cuts my hair.
I stand in front of my mother as she cuts my hair, when she is done she twists it and turns it into a bun. She has an art of losing herself. It has always seemed to come so easily to her. I stare at myself in the mirror when she isn't paying attention. Not for the sake of vanity, but out of curiosity. A Lot can change in your appearance in three months.
My eyes are a light gray blue, my cheeks are still thin, my lips still small. I still look like a child.
I don't know my exact birthday, such celebrations are prohibited in the Abnegation faction. Although I do know it was a few months back that I turned 16. They consider it self indulgent here in the faction that I was born in. Silly little dates have to go unnoticed and uncelebrated.
"There," she says, pinning my hair up. My eyes instantly go to hers in the mirror. It's too late to look away, but instead of scolding me she smiles at our reflection. Why didn't she reprimand me for staring at myself? "So today is the day." She says.
"Yes," I replied.
"Are you nervous?" She asks.
I stare into my own eyes, for a moment. Today is the day that I take the attitude test. Which will show me which of the five factions I belong in and tomorrow at the choosing ceremony I must decide on a faction. I will decide for the rest of my life. I can either decide to stay with my family or abandon them.
"No." I say, the test doesn't have to change my choice.
"Right." She smiles.
"Thank you for cutting my hair." I only hope it isn't the last time. I leave the last part out, not wanting to ponder on it more than I already have. I turn, just in time for my mother to slide the panel back in place and over the mirror. She pushes in the numeric code that I nor my brother are allowed to know.
My mother could be beautiful in another world. Her body is thin beneath her gray robe, she has prominent cheekbones and long eyelashes and when she lets her hair down at night it hangs in waves at her shoulders. But she must hide that beauty in Abnegation.
She stops me on the way to descend to the kitchen, placing a hand over mine. She gestures for me to follow her to her bedroom. A place that although I have entered many times before, never without her or my father's approval.
"Have a seat won't you, Sweetheart." She says, her voice tender and sincere. "I think it's time we had a little chat."
"What is it Momma? Is everything okay?" I ask, bewildered as to why she would want to have such a private conversation. I take a seat on the small two seater couch across from her bed. My mother sits beside me.
My first and only time such a conversation happened was when I woke to a large red spot in my bed one evening, years ago. I didn't understand what was happening to me. The truth is for a split second I was selfish and thought I was dying. It wasn't until mother found me, helped me clean up and took me into this very same bedroom to explain to me what exactly was happening to me.
It's one of the more annoying things about Abnegation. While you would think preparing a girl for natural changes of life, they take it as selfishness to have the knowledge of one's changes in the future. But I beg to differ, holding such a knowledge should be deemed selfish. To not prepare one, to let them fear changes…. That otherwise would come so naturally to others in different factions.
"My sweet girl.." She says, taking my hands into hers. For a moment, I fear she will tell me the worst. That the unthinkable has or is about to happen. "I wanted to have the same talk that I had with my mother and she had with her mother the night before our own aptitude test. Beatrice, my sweet girl… I don't know what the next two days will bring you. Which path you will choose, but I do know that wherever it is you go… You will always be my little girl." She says, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. She reaches for the side table near her, retrieving a box she slowly opens it and gives me the contents of it. A white flower, the pedals are soft and delicate.
"Now look at the flower that I have placed in your hand. Notice how perfect it is. Now my sweet girl, crumple it up." She demands me, waiting until I actually do the task in hand. My hand squeezes, crushing the flower. I cringe as I hear the pedals crunch against itself. I pause, my hand still tightly around the flower, waiting for further instructions. "Now try to make it look new again." She demands again. My eyebrows crease together, knowing it's an impossible task. But I do as she asks, opening my hand and trying to put the broken, bruised pedals back together.
"I can't." I finally admit.
"That's right. Because in life there are things that happen that you can never take back. That includes when you decide to give up your virginity." She says, pointing out her reasoning behind this. I feel myself internally hiding, not wanting to talk about this of all things with my mother. "Never forget that. It's the one thing you have that you can hold onto and it's okay to be a little selfish." She explains. "I hope you keep that in mind."
After Tris' fear landscape test
"You okay?" Four says, touching my cheek. His hand cradles the side of my head. My heart beats ten times faster. His long fingers slipped through my hair. He smiles and holds me in place as he kisses me. Warmth spreads through me and so does fear. The picture of the wilted flower, broken and bruised in my hand the night before my aptitude test comes to mind. The feeling only intensifies, as Tobias pushes my jacket off my shoulders. I flinch as I hear it drop to the floor and push Tobias back. My eyes are burning.
It's at this moment, that I know no matter what place I just got in the rankings, no matter what faction I have ended up in… I know I must keep the promise I made to myself the night my mother explained about the flower to me. It's something that I feel that although many don't care for, I want to give to my husband one day. But how do I tell him? How do I tell a man that belongs to a faction of bravery and adventurous choices that I want to keep this one little thing. I push my palms to my face, covering my eyes.
"What's wrong?" Tobias asks. I shake my head, not ready to explain. I wonder how it ist that people talk so openly about these things. "Don't tell me it's nothing." He demands, his voice cold as he grabs my arm. "Hey look at me." I take my hands off my face and look up at him. The hurt in his eyes and the anger in his clenched jaw surprises me.
"Sometimes I wonder, what's in it for you. This. Whatever it is?" I get out.
"What's in it for me?" He steps back. "You're an idiot Tris."
"I'm not an idiot. Which is why I know it's a little weird that from all the girls you could have chosen you chose me." I point out. "So if you're just looking for… You know…that." I say, my voice sounds embarrassed.
"What sex?" He scolds me. "You know, if that's all I wanted, you probably wouldn't be the first person I'd go to." He announces. I feel like he just punched me in the gut. Of course I'm not the first person he would go to. Not the most desirable, not the sexiest. I blink a few times, fighting the tears.
"I think I better go now," I say, turning towards the door, I don't stop when he calls out for me. I don't turn back, I don't say another word. I just hurry out, hearing his footsteps fall right behind me I scream out, "Let me go!" I ran out of his apartment and down the hall as fast as I could. Thankful that I don't hear him following behind me.
"I'm sorry.:" I think I heard him say before his door closes.
A/N
FDFobsessed and I agreed that the best time to release a new story would be the first day of Spring. I hope this chapter meets everything that you guys have been holding out will be back with another chapter next week. So don't forget to comment, let us know your thoughts
Revised by: FDFobsessed
Like always, happy reading, stay safe and be healthy,
Trini