The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Today, Sean continues Halloween Havoc when he reviews the third entry in the Psycho film series, Psycho III and this time, the film is directed by Norman Bates himself Anthony Perkins. Here it is, folks. Sit back, relax and enjoy the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic.
P.S.: I do not own anything in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Psycho III is owned by Universal Pictures.
Episode Seventy
Psycho III
(The Halloween Havoc 2 intro plays in the form of the Stranger Things intro while a Stranger Things-like theme music starts playing)
We open with our favorite residential critic, Sean J. Archer a.k.a. The Mayhem Critic, sitting in his living room wearing a pumpkin-printed baseball cap and a Jack Skellington shirt.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. And welcome back to Halloween Havoc." Sean said then starts his evil laugh while creepy organ music plays and we hear the sound of the castle thunder sound effect from cartoons in the background. "You all know about Hitchcock's movie Psycho, right?"
(Clips from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho are shown while Bernard Hermann's music score starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, you know the story of a seemingly-innocent man who runs a motel out in the middle of nowhere and he has some mommy issues by dressing up as his mother and you know…
(A clip of "Mother" stabs and kills Marion in the shower)
Sean: (Narrating) …yeah, that happened. The movie had one of the greatest plot twists ever and a creepy-as-hell ending and it is still regarded as one of the most iconic movies of all time and one of Alfred Hitchcock's finest movies ever.
(A poster for Psycho II is shown, followed by clips from the movie)
Sean: (Narrating) Then, some genius at Universal Studios thought it would be an excellent idea to make a sequel to Psycho. And by God, it's the best sequel ever. Psycho II was released in theaters in 1983. The movie took place 22 years after the events of the first film and it focused on Norman Bates adjusting to life after "Mother", but then his past comes back to haunt him when someone is playing mind games on him. Anyway, I've enjoyed Psycho II and I found it to be better than the original.
(The poster for Psycho III is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Then, three years later Anthony Perkins took the director's chair to bring us Psycho III. And just like the first two films that make people afraid to take a shower…
"…people went to a bar after the movie ended to drink and to figure out what the fuck did they just watch." Sean said.
(The title screen for "Psycho III" is shown, followed by clips from the movie while Carter Burwell's music score plays)
Sean: (Narrating) This is a strange little sequel that was brought up. It has some good ideas and some scary moments and some brutal death scenes. And then you have scenes that are too ridiculous and silly. This has our main star of the movie (a picture of Anthony Perkins is shown) who also directed the movie and it was written by the same guy who brought us a movie where Jeff Goldblum mutates into a fly and a movie where a dragon is voiced by Sean Connery. (A picture of the film's writer, Charles Edward Pogue, is shown with the posters for the 1986 remake of The Fly and Dragonheart)
"Hey, I'm sure that we're in good hands. So, let's return to Bates Motel for a third time, this is Psycho III." Sean said.
(The movie begins)
Sean: (Narrating) So the movie begins with…
Maureen Coyle (Played by Diana Scarwid): There is no God!
"Every non-believers reaction to the God's Not Dead movies." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see a disgraced nun named Maureen Coyle, played by Diana Scarwid, getting ready to kill herself by jumping off a bell tower because… I don't know! She's spouting out some crap about there is no God. What did she do? Did she sin or did she have cravings for the flesh? We don't give a shit, so let's just say that she's emo. Anyway, I do love this nod to another one of my favorite Hitchcock movies of all time.
(The theme music for North by Northwest plays while Maureen is standing on the bell tower and we get an aerial shot of the ground)
"Close. I'm talking about Vertigo. That shot was a nod to Vertigo." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The other nuns try to talk Maureen out of jumping but Maureen ends up accidentally causes one of the nuns to fall to her death.
Nun (Played by Diane Rodriguez): (To Maureen) Wasn't your own sin great enough? You'll burn in hell for this. You'll burn in hell!
"Oh, come on. It's not her fault that you crazy penguins wouldn't let her have any dick. She just did you guys a favor and wanted to see if one of you could fly." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) While hitchiking, Maureen gets picked up by a sleazy musician by the name of Duane Duke, played by the Lawnmower Man himself Jeff Fahey.
(A clip from The Lawnmower Man is shown)
Jobe (Played by Jeff Fahey): I am God here!
Duane Duke (Played by Jeff Fahey): Name's Duane, by the way. Duane Duke. Friends just call me Duke.
(Maureen puts her suitcase in the backseat and accidentally hits Duke's guitar)
Duane Duke: Hey, watch the guitar!
Maureen Coyle: I'm sorry.
Duane Duke: No harm done.
"And this is the deal with Duke, he loves his guitar and he doesn't like it when people try to mess up his guitar." Sean said.
Duane Duke: That's my bread and butter.
Sean: (Narrating) As they're riding in the rain, Duke decides to stop and rest and with Maureen being in the car with him, he'd figure that he'd get to take a peek underneath Maureen's skirt and...
(Duke kisses the back of Maureen's neck)
Maureen Coyle: Why did you do that?
Duane Duke: Why didn't you stop me?
"Uh, does this guy even know that she's a nun and that she's sinned for the flesh?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) But Duke's not going to take no for an answer as he tries to force himself on Maureen, but Maureen manages to give the sleazebag a good slap in the face and gets the out of his car, only for Duke to throw her suitcase out in the rain.
Duane Duke: Stupid bitch. You could've been comin' instead of goin'.
"Boy, what a gentlemen. He sure has his way with women." Sean said.
(We cut to Bates Motel)
Sean: (Narrating) We then cut to Bates Motel. God, finally. I thought we were going to be stuck with these two idiots. We're finally introduced to Norman Bates, once again played brilliantly by the late Anthony Perkins, we find him poisoning some birds so he can stuff them and watch what he does with the spoon that he's stuffing the birds with.
(Norman stuffs the dead bird with a spoon. He then uses the same spoon that he stuffed the bird with and sticks it in a jar of peanut butter, then scoops some peanut butter onto the spoon and spreads it on a cracker)
"Ooookay. That's our Norman. While he's not killing people, he's stuffing dead birds and eating peanut butter off of the spoon that he's stuffing the birds with." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So we see an article in a newspaper letting us know that Emma Spool, you know that nice old lady who told Norman that she's his real mother back in Psycho II. If you don't remember what happened to Ms. Spool, maybe this clip will show you.
(A clip from Psycho II is shown in black and white)
Quick Draw McGraw: (V/O) El Kabong!
(Norman strikes Emma in the back of the head with a shovel while a cartoony sound effect plays)
(We see that Norman is sewing the bird's stomach, but instead of a bird, we see a hand. Norman gasps in shock but we see the bird. Next, we see something in a brown paper bag move as Norman looks in shock)
"Oh, my God. Please tell me that it isn't a heart in that bag." Sean said.
(We see a bird that's still alive pop out of the bag as Norman sighs in relief and smiles)
"Oh, thank God. Boy, this movie is going to make me crazy like Norman." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Duke arrives at Bates Motel for a place to stay for a couple of days, then Norman offers him the job of assistant motel manager. Oh, I'm sure it'll work out just fine for him. Remember what happened to the last guy who worked at the motel?
(Another clip from Psycho II is shown. This time, we see "Mother" slashing Warren Toomey in the face, then stabs him to death)
Norman Bates: Well, I can pay you $5 an hour, Duke. You'd work the desk, clean rooms, make beds, empty trash, that sort of thing.
Duane Duke: I'm not looking for anything long term, I just wanna make enough bucks to get the brakes on my car fixed, and build up a little stake for LA. I'm a singer. But I wouldn't mind fillin' in until you found somebody permanent. I just won't be staying around too long.
Norman Bates: No one ever does.
"Okay, that needs a sinister laugh and some lighting added to it after that line." Sean said.
Norman Bates: No one ever does.
We see Sean doing a sinister laugh while lightning strikes.
Sean: (Narrating) We cut to Statler's Cafe, where we see Ralph Statler and Sheriff John Hunt, once again played by Robert Alan Browne and Hugh Gillin respectively, are busy talking about the disappearance of Emma Spool until a hotshot journalist by the name of Tracy Venable, played by Roberta Maxwell, butts in on their conversation when she mentions Norman.
Sheriff John Hunt (Played by the late Hugh Gillin): (To Tracy) Just what's your interest, anyway?
Tracy Venable (Played by Roberta Maxwell): I drove all the way from LA to see him.
Sheriff John Hunt: What about? You another relative of somebody he killed?
Tracy Venable: I don't think that's any business of yours, Sheriff.
Sheriff John Hunt: The peace of this community is my business, young lady.
Tracy Venable: But until I've broken some law, lay off the third degree, huh.
"Oh, boy. Is she going to be this movie's Lila Loomis? Because she's starting to annoy me already." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Statler and Hunt tell Tracy to leave him alone, but then Norman arrives at the diner as Tracy goes to ask him some questions because she's doing an article about serial killers being put back on the streets. While she's talking to him, the past comes back to haunt Norman when Maureen enters the diner and notices the initials "M.C." on her suitcase.
(Norman gets startled when he sees Maureen. We see Marion Crane's murder from Psycho playing as Norman notices Maureen)
"Turns out that Maureen resembles Marion Crane, one of Norman Bates' victims. It's either that or the fact that Diana Scarwid won a Razzie Award for her performance as Christina Crawford in Mommie Dearest." Sean said. "You know, now that I mentioned Mommie Dearest, I'm pretty sure that the movie is a friggin' comedy."
Sean: (Narrating) Norman panics as he heads back to the house to play the piano while Duke is at the front desk and he recognizes Maureen and he gives her a room. Then Norman learns that Duke gave her Cabin #1. Anyway, Norman tells his mother that he saw the woman that resembles Marion Crane and his mother wants him to kill her.
"Here we go again." Sean said as he rolled his eyes.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Maureen is getting settled into her motel room and while she does that, she begins to notice the Holy Bible that's sitting on the end table, which causes her to have PTSD flashbacks to her time as a nun. We then cut to Duke, who heads to a bar to get himself something to drink and he sees that reporter lady Tracy Venable sitting at a bar with a drink and he tries to put the moves on her.
Duane Duke: You don't have to call me Duane if you don't like.
Tracy Venable: I don't have to call you at all.
Duane Duke: Friends call me Duke.
Tracy Venable: I had a dog named Duke once.
Duane Duke: Really? Well, scratch my belly, my leg will shake. (Laughs)
Tracy Venable: I hated the mutt.
(Duke laughs)
"Let me guess, she had the dog shot? Or was it because the dog was an annoying pain in the ass like him?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Duke hands Tracy the matches until she notices that he's staying at the Bates Motel but Duke tells her that he's working there. Back with Norman, he has himself a case of voyeurism when he decides to go back to his old ways by spying on Maureen, who's busy taking her clothes off so she can take a shower.
"Oh, dear. How long until Norman loses it? Because this is going to be a short movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, "Mother" decides to go in there and do the job and right when she's about to stab Maureen to death, she finds the disgraced nun sitting in the tub and...
("Mother" pulls the shower curtains open, only to see Maureen sitting in the tub, the water is blood red. Then, we see a razor blade with blood on it, revealing that she slit her wrists)
"Jesus!" Sean said with a shocked expression on his face. "Babe, I know that being a nun and staying away from the Vitamin D was hard but pulling a Hannah Baker on yourself... yeah, that's going too far. But still! God won't be happy with what you're doing."
(Maureen hallucinates and sees "Mother" holding a knife, mistaking her for Virgin Mary holding the crucifix)
Maureen Coyle: Forgive me.
"Hannah Baker never hallucinated when she saw her mother as the Virgin Mary due to blood loss" Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Norman saves Maureen's life by taking her to the hospital and then Norman goes to see her.
Maureen Coyle: (To Norman) My name's Maureen. (Sighs) I just wanted to thank you for what you did.
Norman Bates: Well, I can't have that sort of thing going on in my motel. Gives the place a bad name.
"It's all downhill from here." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Norman offers Maureen to stay at the motel for as long as she likes because reminds him of someone that he knew once. Yeah, someone that he killed.
Maureen Coyle: But you don't know me. After the way you found me, you must think I've gone mad.
Norman Bates: No, no. We all go a little mad sometimes.
(A clip from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho is shown)
Norman Bates: We all go a little mad sometimes.
"Yeah, I know. A little nod to Psycho. We get it, movie. You want to be better than the original." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We cut to...
(We see a woman named Red, played by Juliette Cummins, covering her nude body with the bed sheets before we cut to Duke, who's seen sitting on the chair nude waving two lamps around and one of the lamps is covering his penis)
Sean: (Narrating) What... the... fuck?
"I'm sorry, did we just stumble onto David Lynch's Lost Highway or am I watching a really weird porn?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Originally, Anthony Perkins wanted Jeff Fahey to be completely nude in this little foreplay scene between Red and Duke, but Fahey felt too uncomfortable about being nude on camera, so the two lamps were used to partially cover him up.
"I'm glad that they did that because I do not want to sit here and see Duke's guitar being shown." Sean said. "That would be really bad."
(Red accidentally hits Duke's guitar)
Duane Duke: Hey. Watch the guitar.
"The guitar is my baby, so let's fuck." Sean said, imitating Duke.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, this nude hottie that Duke picked up from a bar is named Red, played by Juliette Cummins, who you might recognize her as Sheila from Slumber Party Massacre II and as Robin from Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning.
"Seriously, is there anything else that this chick has done besides horror?" Sean asked as a poster for the 1988 movie Deadly Dreams is shown as the young critic turns to his left and notices the poster before looking at the camera. "I hate you."
Red (Played by Juliette Cummins): Oh, God, don't tell me you're one of those guys who farts, rolls over, and then goes to sleep.
"Hey, that's not true! Okay, maybe sometimes." Sean said.
Duane Duke: I picked you up in a bar after one lousy drink. What, do you wanna get married?
Red: You shitheel.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Duke, being the gentleman that he is, kicks Red out so she can call herself a cab. Okay, knowing that this is a horror movie, I'm sure that something bad is going to happen to her and...
(Red, who's in a phone booth, takes off her sweater, her bare breasts are shown but are censored with smiley faces)
"Damn! Yeah, this is definitely a slasher in the 80s because you have an extremely hot chick getting naked." Sean said. "But then I realize that she is going to get killed in three... two... one."
("Mother" breaks the glass on the phone booth door, opening it up and begins to stab Red to death)
"And the body count has started." Sean said with a smile on his face. "Well, it already started with Maureen killing that nun in the beginning of the movie, so yeah. That makes it two."
Norman Bates: (To Mother) Mother. Oh, God, Mother. Blood. Blood!
"And another reference to Psycho. Are you going to keep referencing crap from the original movie?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) The next morning, Norman picks up Maureen from the hospital as he invites her to stay at his motel and when they come back, they find that a group of high schoolers arrive at the motel. These high school teens are staying at the motel because of the big homecoming game going on.
"Hmm, a bunch of drunk and horny teens staying at the motel. Oh, yeah. I'm sure that they've signed their death warrants. They're pretty much dead." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Norman finds Tracy getting ready to snoop around at his house, but then he tells her never come back to the motel again. In that case, she does some more snooping when she checks out Mrs. Spool's apartment, only to find a number written on the magazine. So, our intrepid reporter calls up the number, only for Norman to answer. Geez, how persistent is that lady. If she keeps snooping too much, this is going to happen to her.
(A clip from Psycho II is shown as we see "Mother" killing Lila Loomis by stabbing her in the mouth)
"I know, I know. I keep referencing two good Psycho movies. I'm so sorry. It's just that this one sucks." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, we see Norman and Maureen out on a date together and the two are starting to hit it off just fine and as they head back to the motel we see that the high school teens are drunk. Oh, we'll get back to them, let's get back to Norman and Maureen as we see...
(Norman and Maureen kiss and they start making out on the bed)
"Immediately, she starts falling in love for him. Why? Does she even know who he is?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Don't worry, they didn't do the deed. Yet. So, they just fall asleep until Maureen wakes up only to find that Norman is not in the room with him but one of the sober guests named Patsy, played by Katt Shea Ruben, lets her know that her door was left open. Well, that's nice of the director of Poison Ivy and The Rage: Carrie 2 to let he know. That's a responsible teen. Oh, wait. She was born in 1957. I've checked her IMDB page.
(Katt Shea's IMDB page is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, "Mother" is ticked off at Norman for Maureen coming between her and Norman, But then Maureen comes to check on Norman to see if he's alright, so Norman tells her that he's not feeling to well and to go away. The reason why he said that because he didn't want "Mother" to kill her or for Norman to kill her. Meanwhile, Patsy goes to pay the water bill until an unexpected visitor comes in and interrupts her.
Patsy (Played by Katt Shea Ruben): Hey, where'd you come from? Geez, you about scared the piss out of me.
"You took the words right out of her mouth." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, "Mother" kills the living shit out of her with the most brutal kill in the entire movie. God, let's hope that she flushed.
(A comedic rimshot is heard)
"Hey, I got a few more toilet jokes." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Norman goes to Duke's room, only to find Patsy's body there, so he does the only sensible thing in this movie by hiding her dead body in the ice machine. So, the next morning, Deputy Hunt and Deputy Leo arrive to ask Norman about Patsy, who they say that she's missing. So, they search the house, only to not find anything.
Tracy Venable: That's not good enough, Sheriff. You just can't let it lie.
Sheriff John Hunt: I've had enough of this Nancy Drew horseshit from you!
(Sheriff Hunt opens the ice machine)
Sheriff John Hunt: I'm letting it lie and so are you, you understand?
(He takes some ice out of the ice machine and we see Patsy's hand)
"World's dumbest sheriff ever!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Are you meaning to tell me that this dude is not smart enough to taste blood on an ice cube? Come on! You have to find a body in there, who do you think you are Chief Wiggum?
"Stupid!" Sean points at the camera.
Sean: (Narrating) But then Maureen tells Sheriff Hunt that Norman was with her and he had nothing to do with Patsy's disappearance. After the world's dumbest cops leave, Maureen packs up and leaves the motel, mostly because of Tracy's big mouth when she told her about Norman.
"You know, lady. That big mouth of yours is going to get you killed." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Norman heads back to the house to find his Mother, but he finds a note from her for him to meet her in Cabin 12, so he heads over there to find Mother but she's not alone because we learn that Duke was the one who took Mother.
"That bastard." Sean said.
Duane Duke: You did a nice job on her, Norman. Fresh as the day she was croaked.
(Duke kisses Mother's cheek)
Norman Bates: Why?
"Norman, the reason why he doing this is because the motherfucker wants money to keep him quiet. Yeah, that's right. The money, the Benjamins, the bacon, the big bucks, the cheddar, the clams, the CREAM, the dead presidents, the doubloons, the loot, the moola, payola, the paper. That's what he wants, buddy." Sean said.
Norman Bates: I don't have that kind of money.
"Well, if you don't have that kind of money, couldn't you just kill him? That's one way to shut his ass up. Just fuckin' kill him!" Sean yelled out.
Norman Bates: Please, Duke. I want my mother back.
Duane Duke: Take her. You know what I want. And you know what I'll do if I don't get it.
(A clip from Dragon Ball Z is shown)
Vegeta (Voiced by Christopher Sabat): Kill him!
(Norman throws an ashtray at Duke's head, hitting him with it)
"Thank you." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, Norman and Duke start fighting while Woody Woodpecker is playing on the television until Norman decides to finish him off with a conveniently placed musical instrument.
(Norman grabs Duke's guitar and hits him with it)
Duane Duke: Watch the guitar.
(Norman hits Duke several times with the guitar until it breaks)
"Yeah, I've heard of rock stars smashing their instruments, but…" Sean began.
Sean: (Narrating) But then Mother drives Norman to the brink of insanity
(We hear Woody Woodpecker laughing)
Norman Bates: Don't laugh at me, Mother. Don't laugh at me.
"That's it! Norman's lost his mind! Let's all go crazy with him!" Sean exclaimed as he goes crazy while the song Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger starts playing in the background while clips from Psycho 1-3 start playing. The song ends as we see Sean calming down for a bit. "Sorry for that brief mental breakdown. The movie drove me to the brink of insanity. Now, back to our regularly scheduled review."
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Tracy goes to speak with Statler and Myrna, played by Lee Garlington, about Mrs. Spool and she learned that Mrs. Spool was working at the diner before Statler bought it from the diner's former owner Harvey Leach, played by the late Hugo Stanger. And it turns out that Harvey Leach has been living in a nursing home outside town, so Tracy goes to talk to him about Emma Spool.
Harvey Leach (Played by the late Hugo Stanger): I-I had a woman named Spool who used to work for me.
Tracy Venable: Yes?
Harvey Leach: A waitress, she was. She come from that place.
Tracy Venable: Place?
Harvey Leach: Y-You know, that-that place for nuts? The-the sy-sylum?
Tracy Venable: Mrs. Spool was in an asylum?
Harvey Leach: Asylum. That's it, asylum. Yeah. Yeah. You know, she killed somebody.
"Because really, you would've thought to have check their resume to see if there's anything wrong with that person and you see that they've been in the nuthouse for killing somebody. If I was the owner of a company and somebody wants to work with me, here's what I would've done." Sean said.
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
Sean: (as a video store clerk) So, Mrs. Cunningham, I've read your resume. Looks like everything looks good, except for one thing.
Sherry: (as Mrs. Cunningham) Yes?
Sean: Well, I've read something on the bottom written in red, saying that you've been in an asylum.
Sherry: Why, yes.
Sean: What was that reason?
Sherry: I killed my sister and her husband and I took their child with me. I sure do hope that I get this job because it would be pretty bad if I didn't get it.
(Sherry pulls out a kitchen knife while Sean looks a bit scared)
Sean: I'll... uh... I'll let you know in a couple of days.
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Maureen is having second thought because she wants to go back to Norman because he understands forgiveness. Oh, really?
Maureen Coyle: That was why Mary came to me that night he saved my life. It was a sign. And the woman in the window. That must have been Mary, too.
"Okay, you know what, you two nutjobs deserve each other. Why don't you run into each others arms, get married and have a bunch of psycho children and live happily ever after, goddamn it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back with Norman, we see him trying to get rid of the bodies of Duke and Patsy by dumping them in the swamp, that is until Duke rises back from the dead and tries to kill Norman, then Norman drives into the swamp where he got rid of his victims' bodies until adding two more to the swamp. After he drowns Duke, Norman manages to get out of the swamp after bumping into Red's corpse.
"Well, at least Norman won't be joining with the dead bodies that he put in there. Damn." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Maureen returns to Bates Motel to speak to Norman after she convinces herself that Norman is her true love and just when they share a tender moment with each other, this happens.
Mother (Voiced by the late Virginia Gregg): Norman!
(Norman gets startled by Mother's voice, causing him to lose grip on Maureen's hands, causing her to fall down the stairs and get impaled in the back of the head by the cupid statue)
Norman Bates: Maureen!
Nelson Muntz: (Sound Clip) Ha-ha!
"Hey, this movie can prove to you that love can be deadly." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After Norman gives his epic "Mother" yell for the movie and the trailer, he gets pissed off at his mother and he promises that he will get her for this. Then, all of a sudden, Tracy arrives as the motel and she enters the house only to find Maureen's corpse and...
(Tracy turns around and sees Norman dressed as "Mother")
Norman Bates: (as Mother) Why can't you leave my poor son, my Norman, alone?
"Well, it's about time Norman lost his marbles. And we get to see that bitch reporter die." Sean said with a smile on his face. "This is going to get good."
Sean: (Narrating) And then we come to the most confusing yet idiotic reveal of the movie.
Tracy Venable: What set you off again, Norman? Mrs. Spool? You killed her, didn't you? What did she do? Come to you and tell you that she was your mother? She was crazy, Norman, but she wasn't your mother. Neither are you!/Mrs. Spool was your aunt, Norman. She was in love with your father. But your mother stole him away from her!
"What?" Sean asked, looking confused.
Tracy Venable: Emma Spool killed your father in a jealous rage...
"Huh?" Sean was still confused by the twist.
Tracy Venable: ...and kidnapped you when you were just a baby.
We cut back to Sean, who continues to look confused.
(Tracy turns around and sees Mrs. Spool's corpse and screams)
Tracy Venable: She killed him, your father, because she thought you were her child!
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sean asked.
Tracy Venable: The child she should have had with him!
Sean sighs a bit , then scratches his head before saying a word. "You know, that is by far the dumbest plot twist I've ever heard in my life and also the most confusing. I've watched this movie like twenty times and I still don't know what fuck it is. I'm just glad that whole Emma Spool thing is forgotten in Psycho IV: The Beginning."
Sean: (Narrating) So, just when you think that Norman is about kill Tracy, he goes after "Mother" and stabs her to death. So, I guess she's more deader and I like this character arc for Norman. In the first film, Norman was stopped by others. In the second film, he got away with being psycho because they thought it was somebody else. And now in the third film, he turns on "Mother". Therefore, bittersweet ending! Mother is deader than shit and Norman is arrested, but hey, I can't end this review without showing this creepy bit that still freaks me out to this day.
(Norman pulls out the severed hand of Mrs. Spool, caressing it as he looks at the camera with a sinister smile on his face)
"And you get a callback to the ending of the original Psycho just to piss people off." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie play again as Sean speaks)
Sean: (Narrating) The movie had some neat ideas but the film turned out to be pretty goofy. I guess this is what Anthony Perkins and Charles Edward Pogue wanted this movie to be a dark comedy. Anthony Perkins was excellent as always as Norman Bates and for his first time in the director's chair, he did a pretty good job at directing the movie. I know that Perkins directed another movie, which was called Lucky Stiff back in 1988. Hmm, Lucky Stiff? That sounds like a porno. But anyway, Perkins gives out some images that pay homage to Hitchcock. The performances of the entire cast did an excellent job. I loved the chemistry between Anthony Perkins and Diana Scarwid's characters and Jeff Fahey did an awesome job playing Duane Duke, he played a character that you would love to hate. The movie is not as good as the first two but I still had a lot of fun watching it because it has some great suspense yet the movie has an ending that didn't deliver. I tend to watch it when I'm marathoning the movie, except for the shitty Gus Van Sant remake. Skip that one and don't be expecting a review of the movie from me anytime. Psycho III comes in at three guitars getting bashed out of five.
"I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and when Halloween Haunt III comes next year, I'm reviewing Psycho IV. Gotta keep the tradition alive. Also, remember... watch the guitar." Sean said before leaving the living room.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- Watch the guitar.
Well, that's two movies down for Halloween Havoc II, only four movies left. Now, I did say that the final film on the list was the 1990 miniseries Stephen King's It, but then there was the 1972 film Blacula. But I might just review Stephen King's It because it's much sillier. I'm torn between the two because of how silly it is. Next time, Sean reviews Wes Craven's movie Scream, the most meta horror-comedy of the 90s. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. I'll see you guys next time for more Halloween Havoc. Till next time, my fellow readers.