Sinus Infections suck
Chapter 23 – Snakeroot Shenanigans Part 1
"You know, I'm starting to think Sorcerio guy doesn't know what he's doing," said Koga as he stared at Elfo.
"What makes you say that?" asked Elfo. Elfo's body diminished from his usual bright green color. Both Koga and Elfo were sitting in the stone hallways of the castle. "Well," Koga began as he reached into his coat pocket, pulled out an apple, and began to peel it with a knife. "Number one, the guy glued those stars to his hat, and I can see one of them peeling off, and number two," Koga hands him the peeled apple. "He's a complete dumbass just like the tall tight ass guy. What was his name?" He tried to remember. Elfo took a bite out of the apple and said, "Odval?" Koga snaps his fingers and replies, "Yeah, that's the guy!" Elfo swallows the bite he took out of the apple and says, "Well, even if the guy is a phony, I'm not complaining too much. I get a nice place to sleep, get free food, and most of all, I get to hang out with you, Bean and Luci." He said as he smiled up at Koga. Koga returned the smile and replied, "Yeah, that's true, I guess. It's not all bad."
"YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS!" Shouted Luci as he suddenly burst from around the corner. He had an excited expression on his face. "You guys gotta hurry and see this! Bean and her twin brother are fighting!" Once he delivers that message and runs off to where he came. Koga and Elfo look at each other, and they get to their feet and hurry down the hallway where Luci went. As they got closer, they could hear Bean shouting at the top of her lungs at Tavish. Her voice bounced off the stone walls causing it to Echo. Koga and Elfo had arrived and saw Luci peaking into the dining room.
"WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS, YOU KISS ASS!" Bean screamed as she glared a hole through her older twin brother.
Tavish shot back the same glare. "It is my business! I'm your goddamn brother! Every time I see you, you're always scorching alcohol into your body. Early in the morning, evening, AND night! How pathetic can you get?!" He shouted at her.
"I'm the pathetic one?! The only pathetic one here is you, you narcissistic piece of SHIT!" Bean yelled.
"Oh snap!" Luci instigated
Both Bean and Tavish would back and forth before Elfo tugged on Koga's right leg and asked, "S-Should we stop them?" He asked as he looked up at Koga. Koga shrugs. "This doesn't have anything to do with us. It's between them."
Elfo gulps. "I know, but-"
"You're so stubborn!" said Tavish. "If you'd stop chugging beer and putting so many drugs into your body, your brain wouldn't be a mess!"
"My brain is a mess because I have the worst brother In the whole damn world!" Bean screamed at him. The two siblings would glare at each other before Tavish turned away from Bean and walked out of the room. Koga, Elfo, and Luci step out of the way and watch as Tavish walks off to his room. The three of them looked into the dining room and saw Bean was standing in the middle of the room, holding herself. Elfo walked up to her slowly. "Um, Bean, are you ok?" He asked hesitantly. "Of course I'm fine!" Bean lied as she avoided Elfo's worried gaze. "I just-UGH!" She turned around and stormed out of the room, and she headed to hers.
"Wow…" said Luci. "You think they'll come back for round 2?" He asked, grinning up at Koga
"I hope not…" said Koga. "Let's give her a few minutes before we go and check on her.
After a few minutes had passed, Elfo, Luci, and Koga headed to Bean's room. The three saw that her door was open. Bean sat on her bed with her knees to her chest and her face buried between her thighs. Elfo was the first to approach her. "Um…Bean, are you ok?" He asked her softly. Bean would reply, but she didn't move her face from her thighs. "Yeah…I'm fine…." She said. Her voice muffled a bit. Koga would step forward. "You know…I've seen brothers and sisters have spats, but…that didn't seem like any normal spat," He said as he walked over and sat on the couch in the middle of the room. Luci would hop onto Bean's bed and say, "Yeah, I can't believe he would call you such nasty names like a bucktooth piece of crap!" Bean would lift her head from between her tighs and look at Luci. "He didn't say that…." Luci would reply, "Yeah, but you know he wanted to."
Bean sighed and got up from her bed walks over to her window. She began staring down at the fountain that was in the garden. "Every time I try to do anything fun, there he is, always criticizing me and telling me that I need to change my ways like he gives a damn…." Bean ranted on. "All he cares about is being King of Dreamland, so he can implement his stupid vision of what a real kingdom should be. He thinks he's so damn smart! He doesn't know anything!"
"I mean…" Elfo began, "He did seem like he was worried about you, Bean-"
"You don't know how my brother is!" Bean snapped as she turned to Elfo and glared. "Didn't you hear what I just said? He doesn't give a shit about ANYONE!"
"Ok, ok!" Elfo said as he held his hands up and looked at Bean, frightened.
"Ugh! Why does everyone always take his side?!" Bean said as she kicked the chair to her desk and went back to staring out the window.
"I-I'm sorry…." Elfo said sadly.
Bean looks over at Elfo. Her frustrated expression turned to sadness, and she rubbed her head. "N-No, Elfo, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." She goes over to her bed and sits down next to Elfo and Luci. "This is why I wanted a drink. I'm just so irritated right now I don't know what to do!" That's when Bean hears the sound of yelling coming from outside. Both Bean and Koga get to their feet and walk over to the window. Outside running circles around the fountain in the garden, was Queen Oona, her pupils were wide, and she was howling.
"What the hell?" Koga said, confused.
Bean's eyes widened with an Idea. "That's what I need…Oona's little helper…."
"Come again?" Koga looked at Bean. "Oona's little helper?"
"Does she have a friend like me?" Elfo asked
"Nope!" Luci replied, "She has no friend! All she is a drug that makes her happy!"
"Just hold on a second," said Koga. "You want to take the stuff your stepmom is on?"
"Um yeah, why not? I just need something to take the edge off me," Bean said casually.
"So what are you going to do? Ask her for some? I don't think she's just going to let you have whatever she's got."
"Well…that's where you come in," said Bean with a grin. Koga raised a brow at her suspiciously. "All you need to do is just distract Oona and Elfo, Luci and I can sneak in and grab me a bit of her snakeroot!"
Koga crosses his arms and scowls at Bean. "Um yeah, I'm not doing that," He shook his head no.
Bean frowned. "Koga, please, I just need a little to calm me down!" Bean begged.
"AND some for your friends," said Luci
Koga groans and rubs his forehead. Bean steps closer to Koga and whispers, "Koga, please…just do this for me…." She said softly to him.
Koga looked down at Bean and stared into her pleading blue eyes. "Fine," Koga gave in. "Just tell me what I need to do."
…
After Oona had finished the drug session, she returned to the castle and headed into the master bedroom. Bean, Elfo, Luci, and Koga had followed her to the master bedroom, where Oona had closed the door. Bean began to explain the plan. "Ok, Koga, you're going to be on the opposite side when she leaves the room. When you're talking to her, we'll go in, get the snakeroot, and then you can let her go!" She explained quietly. Koga would nod silently to Bean, and he would go and knock on the door. The door would unlock, and Oona would face Koga.
"Um…Hi Queen Oona!" Koga said, waving at her. Oona would stare at Koga, confused. "Umm...can I help you with something?" She asked. Koga's eyes began to wander as he tried to think of a way to get her out of the room. "YES!" He yells out, and it causes Oona to flinch. Koga would grab her by her hands gently as he pulled her away from the door. "Umm, Queen Oona, you should look at the castle's architecture! It's amazing, isn't it?!" Oona would bare the expression of shock and disbelief on her face as Koga grabbed her by her hands. "What is wrong with you? Unhand me this instant!" She ordered him. Koga would look past Oona and see Bean, Elfo, and Luci sneak into the master bedroom.
"I just need you for a moment, Queen Oona! There's so much history that I want to know about the Kings and Queens of Dreamland! I'm just so curious!" Koga lied.
Oona would take her hands away from Koga and rub them. "Well, if that's what you want, you are talking to the wrong person! I do not know of any of that, considering that I married Zog so that we could stop the war that was happening with my homeland!"
"War?" Koga repeated.
"Yes, the land I come from, Dankmire was in war with Dreamland," said Oona. "It was over the ownership of a canal."
Koga's jaw dropped slightly. "You got to be kidding me," He said in disbelief. "That's so-"
"Stupid, yes, I know," Oona nods. "Very dumb reason to have a war that lasted one hundred years!"
"One hundred years?!" Koga shouts, "Over a canal?!"
"Very interesting, no?" asked Oona as she stared at Koga. She then took a minute to stare at him. "Oh! You're that new Knight that Zoggy hired! you came to Bean's wedding a caused quite the shock."
"Oh yeah, I raised a lot of brows that d-" Koga paused and saw Bean, Elfo, and Luci rub out the master bedroom. Bean gave Koga the thumbs up as they ran around the corner. "Well, Queen Oona, It was a pleasure talking to you! I gotta run!" Koga said as he sprinted past her and headed around the corner.
Oona blinked a few times. "What an odd boy"
…
"SCORE!" said Luci as he watched Bean open Oona's purple pouch, and she took a bundle of snakeroot and handed it out to Elfo and Luci. The snakeroot was a dry, light brown bundle of brown biscuits that looked like it could be broken into bits if you'd blow on them. Bean offered some to Koga, and Koga shook his head and gently shoved Bean's hand away. "I'm not taking any of that stuff," He stated. Luci snorts, "Oh, come on, Koga, don't be a wet blanket."
"I'm not putting any of that crap into my body. You three have fun," Koga said as he sat by the windowsill.
"Suit yourself," Bean shrugged as She, Elfo and Luci took the snakeroot. Five minutes would pass as the three waited for the snakeroot to take effect. Bean sighed, and she laid back on her couch. "I don't know, guys. I'm not feeling anything."
"Me either…" said Elfo as he pats his knees softly.
Bean looked over at Elfo and Luci. Bean's eyes then widened. Elfo began to shrink in her vision, and his pupils were getting bigger and bigger. Every time Bean would look around the room, it was a blur. Once she placed her eyes on Elfo and Luci, they began to shrink. Elfo would start to talk, but it sounded like he was talking extremely fast. And then, everything flashed and hit Bean, Elfo, and Luci. "WOW, GUYS! HOLY SHIT, GUYS!" Bean suddenly said, "WE SHOULD START A BAND!" She, along with Elfo and Luci, suddenly began clapping. "WOW, WE SOUND AMAZING! WE SHOULD START A BAND! WE'LL GO ON TOUR! PLAYING WHAT WE WANT! NEVER SEELING OUT! NEVER SPLITTING UP!" Bean paused and then turned to Elfo. "ELFO, YOU'RE OUT OF THE BAND!"
"What the hell?!" Elfo replied in disbelief and confusion.
Bean carried on, "WE'RE A DUO NOW! THE FANS DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE-LUCI!" She points to him, "YOU FELL OFF A BALCONY OR WERE YOU PUSHED? WE'LL NEVER KNOW! DREAMS COME TRUE AS I AM A SOLO ARTIST! THE FANS LOVE MY VOICE! AND I GET DREADLOCKS! BUT I SHAVE MY HEAD! LIKE A TRUE ARTIST! OH MY GOD, WHY IS THE CROWD BOOING ME? OH NO I'M THE TALENTLESS ONE!" Bean dropped to her knees in sadness and then turned to Elfo. "ELFO, YOU CAME BACK!" She hugged him. "LUCI, YOU'RE ALIVE? YOU FELL OVER, OR WERE YOU PUSHED? IT DOESN'T MATTER! WE'RE BACK TOGETHER! NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW! OH NO, I GOT CANCER?!WHAT?!" Bean would then fall over dramatically.
Elfo frowned. "I dedicate this song to our late friend Bean!" He, along with Luci, starts clapping. Then Bean lays up and starts clapping too. Koga looked at them blankly as they clapped in a catchy rhythm. "Well…" Koga said, "That was very entertaining."
"Oh man, I feel a fuzzy inside!" Elfo giggled.
"I feel like fucking someone up!" said Luci dementedly
"I feel like I can do anything!" Bean gleamed.
Koga looked at the three. Elfo was rolling around the room, Luci was laughing evilly to himself, and Bean was beginning to cartwheel around her room. She hits a table and falls flat on her back, and then she bursts out laughing. Koga rubs his head and lets out a sigh. His attention would then turn to outside the window, and he would say, "Well, looks like I'm going to be sitting here watching you three on a high for as long as it last." Koga continued to stare out of the window. He would turn to look at Bean, Elfo, and Luci. Koga's eyes widened as he saw that three of them had vanished. "What the hell?" He looked outside the window again and saw Bean, Elfo, and Luci running past the fountain.
"Oh no…OH NO, NO, NO!" Koga sprang to his feet and sprits out of Bean's room and headed for outside the castle, screaming,
"NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD!"