The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and I'm back to bring you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Well, The Summer of Disney is over and summer is about to come to an end. Guess it's time to close out the end of summer with a summer-centric movie as Sean goes back to the 90s when he takes a look at the direct-to-video animated movie Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation. So, let's take a look at the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Sit back, relax and enjoy this hilarious review.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation is owned by Warner Bros. and Amblin Entertainment.
Episode Ninety-Seven
Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation
We open with our favorite critic Sean J. Archer, a.k.a. The Mayhem Critic, sitting on his couch playing Marvel's Avengers on his PS4 and drinking a bottle of Minute Maid fruit punch. He pauses the game and sighs in boredom, not because of the video game he's playing, but being bored of how this summer turned out.
"Man, this summer blows. Because of this pandemic going around, the stuff that I had planned to do over the summer have been canceled to next year. I could be going to the Food Truck Rally in West Chester, I could be going on a river rafting adventure. Hell, even going to amusement parks like Kings Island. Okay, Kings Island is open on the weekends and you have to come in wearing a mask. I could be going to my family reunion. Plus, this week was supposed to be the week of the Cincinnati Comic Expo and my girlfriend and I wanted to meet Thora Birch because we're huge fans of Hocus Pocus. But no. I gotta be stuck in the house because of some bullshit pandemic that just canceled my plans so I have to review movies at home. Unbelievable." Sean said before introducing himself. "Anyway, good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. Well, it's September and Labor Day is coming up, which means it's the last day of summer and everybody's going back to school or taking online classes at home just to be safe. For those of you going back to school, wear a mask and stay safe. But anyway, time for me to do some reviewing. Let's go back to 1990 and a little animated show from my childhood aired… TINY TOON ADVENTURES!"
(The intro to "Tiny Toon Adventures" is shown, followed by clips from the show)
Sean: (Narrating) Before Animaniac, Pinky and the Brain and Freakazoid, Tiny Toon Adventures was the one that started it all. Produced by Steven Spielberg and his team at Amblin Entertainment, Tiny Toon Adventures was the first show to launch Warner Bros. Animation renaissance in the 90s. The pilot episode aired on CBS, then it aired in syndication and it aired on Fox Kids. The show centers on a group of young cartoon characters who attend Acme Looniversity to become the next generation of characters from Looney Tunes and they're being taught by the Looney Tunes characters and they have their own little adventures. Now, this is how you do a new generation of Looney Tunes right.
(A picture Loonatics Unleashed is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Oh… yeah. I completely forgot about that one. As much as I love Animaniacs, I really liked Tiny Toon Adventures.
"So why am I talking about Tiny Toon Adventures? Well, I'm going to review the direct-video-movie Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation." Sean said.
(The title screen for the movie is shown followed by clips from the movie while the theme music plays)
Sean: (Narrating) Released straight to video on March 11, 1992, a month after I was brought into the world, How I Spent My Vacation was a fully animated hour and half movie packed with hilarious storylines, this was a movie that should've been released in theaters. So, they released Batman: Mask of the Phantasm in theaters and Tiny Toons: How I Spent My Vacation was only released straight to video. Well, from what I've read executive producer Steven Spielberg insisted on a direct-to-video release. Which is no big deal but they should've released the movie in theaters.
"So let's close out the end of summer and let me bring you a dose of comedy, this is Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation." Sean said.
(The movie begins)
Sean: (Narrating) We open in the town of Acme Acres and we cut to Acme Looniversity, where we see our favorite characters waiting impatiently for the last day of school to end. Yeah, this is what the last day of school was like.
"Me however, this is what the last day of school was like for me." Sean said.
(A clip from The Simpsons is shown)
(We see the students of Springfield Elementary pulling out their weapons of destruction. We then see Nelson wielding a flamethrower and Bart armed with a machine gun)
Principal Skinner (Voiced by Harry Shearer): (On the PA) Now let's trash this dump!
(A bunch of students start destroying stuff and the school while "School's Out" performed by Alice Cooper starts playing)
"Okay, I'm kidding. We actually watched movies and took pictures and played music." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) As they eagerly wait for the clock to strike three, they begin to sing a song about it and I just love Bugs' expression in this scene. He's just like, "Really? You have to sing a song about the clock to strike three rather than learning?". But there is something about the song that has me thrown off. Which was something that Babs was singing in the lyrics.
Babs Bunny (Voiced by Tress MacNeille): (Sings and changes into a bikini) In the summer, I will get a golden tan.
"What?" Sean asked, looking confused.
Babs Bunny: (Sings) In the summer, I will get a golden tan.
"Babs, I hate to break it to you, babe. But you're a bunny and you have fur. Bunnies can't get golden tans because you'll become roast bunny." Sean said.
Everyone: (Sings) We have all been waiting patiently. Waiting for the clock to set us free. We beg for summer on bended knee. Come on, stupid clock, please strike 3. Strike one, strike two, strike three!
(The clock strikes three and the bell rings as Gogo Dodo pops out of the clock)
Gogo Dodo (Voiced by Frank Welker): You're out! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
"Wait, was Gogo Dodo living in this school all this time? Why bother figuring him out? That dude is weird." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, the clock strikes three and the student run out of the school saying "Sayonara, Acme Looniversity! Hello, summer!" and we get a modified version of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song.
Buster Bunny (Voiced by Charlie Adler) and Babs Bunny: (Sings) We almost went loony from counting days till Juney. Now this afternoony…
Everyone: (Sings) Summertime is here!
Plucky Duck (Voiced by Joe Alaskey): A three-month vacation…
All: (Sings) For kids across the nation.
Fifi La Fume (Voiced by Kath Soucie): (Sings) Whatever your location…
Buster and Babs Bunny: (Sings) It's the best time of the year. Visit Acme Acres for a cooldown in the sun. Beat the heat, it's a treat. Lunch for everyone. We're tiny, we're toony…
All: (Sings) We're all a little loony…
(The title screen for the movie is shown)
Buster and Babs: (Sings) It's Tiny Toon Adventures with some summer fun. Now the video's begun.
"It sure has, indeed. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and I'll see you guys next time." Sean said as he gets up from off of his couch and leaves.
(The credits roll while "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears starts playing… but immediately Sean rushes back to continue the review)
"Oh, that's right! There's more! Sorry, I couldn't stop there. We have a lot of different plots to cover." Sean said.
"They'll re-do the theme at the end, by the way." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) We get the first plot of the movie, which involves Plucky Duck voiced by the late Joe Alaskey and Hamton J. Pig voiced by the late Don Messick, walking home to Hamton's house while Plucky talks about what they want to do over the summer.
Plucky Duck: Now, what will we do first? The beach? (Plucky starts surfing. He gasps as a wave comes crashing down on him) Camping? (He starts to go in his tent and fights a bear) Or shall we simply veg the whole 12 weeks away in front of the boob tube?
(His eyes turn into a TV set while the "Tiny Toon Adventures" intro starts playing)
Buster Bunny: (Sings) We're tiny…
Babs Bunny: (Sings) We're toony…
Both: (Sings) We're all a little…
(Hamton gets irritated and pulls out a TV remote to turn off the television)
"Hey, I was watching that, you little porker." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Hamton breaks the news to Plucky that he's going out of town this summer. To where, you might ask? Well, his folks are taking him to a little amusement park called Happy World Land.
Plucky Duck: Happy World Land? Not the happiest place in the hemisphere, go on all the rides till you barf fun for kids of all ages Happy World Land?
Hamton J. Pig (Voiced by Don Messick): Uh, yeah.
Plucky Duck: Gasp and drool. That's every duckling's dream.
(Plucky's dream cloud pops up and the image of the Happy World Land logo pops up with the hat laughing)
"Happy World Land, a parody of Disneyland. Hey, Warner Bros. have been poking fun at Disney. Just wait till they poke fun at The Lion King on Animaniacs." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Plucky stops Hamton from leaving, but the little piggy uses the Jaws of Life, a Spielberg reference, to pry Plucky off. Hamton leaves with his family, leaving Plucky alone for the summer. But that's not gonna stop Plucky from being left behind. We then cut to Hamton's family as they begin their road trip to Happy World Land and we're introduced to his father Wade Pig voiced by the late Jonathan Winters, Winnie Pig voiced by Edie McClurg and Uncle Stinky voiced by Frank Welker.
(Uncle Stinky belches)
"Ewww! He has flies buzzing around him. Man, this guy will be a nightmare for Sal Vulcano from Impractical Jokers." Sean said.
Wade Pig (Voiced by Jonathan Winters): Oh, look, honey, Old Bessie's about to hit 100, 000 miles. We have to record this for posterity.
(Wade pulls out his camera to record this milestone)
"Okay, who in their right mind records their pedometer trying to reach 100, 000 miles? It just doesn't make sense." Sean said.
"Hmm, if I remember right. Something goes wrong while he's recording?" Brian asked.
"Well, let's tune in and find out." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Plucky pops out from out of the bushes and dresses up as a construction worker and tries to stop them.
"God, this won't end well." Sean said.
(We see Plucky trying to stop the vehicle. As the car approaches, we get a close-up of Plucky's face. Then, the screen turns black and white as the movie pauses on his face)
Announcer: (V/O) It was at this moment that Plucky knew, he fucked up.
(Plucky gets run over by the Pig Family, flattening him. We cut to the Pig Family as we see that the pedometer has hit 100, 000)
All: Hooray!
Wade Pig: (Notices that the lens cap was still on his camera) Whoops. Ha, ha. Forgot to take off the lens cap.
Winnie Pig (Voiced by Edie McClurg) & Hamton J. Pig: Aw.
Wade Pig: Ah, we'll back up and do it again.
"Yeah, let's not forget about the duck on the road that you've flattened." Sean warned.
(Wade backs the vehicle up, causing him to run over and flatten Plucky again)
"Jesus! How much more hits could this duck take?" Sean asked.
(Plucky gets up and turns around as he sees Wade's car coming right at him. He ends up getting run over and flattened again. Meanwhile, Wade records the pedometer for real as it hits 100, 000)
All: Hooray!
(The vehicle drives away as the camera pans down to a flattened Plucky)
Plucky Duck: I think the left front tire is a little low.
"Okay, that was pretty funny." Sean chuckled a bit.
Sean: (Narrating) While Hamton's family is busy driving out on the road, Plucky attempts to flag them down by doing this.
(Plucky pulls up his left leg, revealing a lady's leg underneath)
(A clip from the Superman: The Animated Series episode World's Finest Part 1 is shown)
Harley Quinn (Voiced by Arleen Sorkin): Whoa, mama! Check out the cute hitchiker!
(Wade sees this and stops the car before backing up)
Winnie Pig: Why, Plucky, did you want to come on our trip too?
Plucky Duck: (Acts sad) No, no. No, ma'am. I'll just spend my summer here, alone and forgotten. (Sobs)
Hamton J. Pig: Gee, Dad, can't we take Plucky with us?
Plucky Duck: (Begs) Oh, please, please, please.
"Please say no." Sean said.
Wade Pig: (Laughs) Why, sure.
Sean: (Narrating) And thus, Plucky seals his fate with the Pig Family.
Hamton J. Pig: Yay! Welcome aboard, Plucky.
Plucky Duck: (Hugs Hamton) Hi, Hammy.
(Plucky sniffs and realizes that the smell is coming from Uncle Stinky)
Plucky Duck: Put her there, Uncle…
(Uncle Stinky shakes Plucky's hand by lifting and lowering him repeatedly and smacking him against the rear window. Plucky notices a brown substance on his hand, sniffing it. The smell is horrible and Plucky "checks out" by turning a black and white checkered pattern)
"Well, we can all say that it was one shitty handshake." Sean said as a comedic drum riff plays in the background.
Sean: (Narrating) Boy, Plucky is gonna wish that he rode with the Griswolds. While Plucky is on the road trip from Hell, we move on to our second plot of the movie, which involves Buster and Babs Bunny, no relation, as we see Babs voiced by Tress MacNeille, trying to look sexy in her purple bikini and doing her impersonation of Robin Leach from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.
Babs Bunny: (In a British accent) Here's the world-famous Babs Bunny starting her vacation. She has her fabulous beach chair, her state-of-the-art sound system and her fabulous view of the French Riviera. (Pulls down a background of the beach and lies down on her beach chair) Ah. How does she do it? (In her normal voice) It's a toon thing. (She applies some suntan lotion on herself and relaxes)
Sean: (Narrating) But Buster, voiced by Charlie Adler before he was voiced by John Kassir a.k.a. the voice of the Crypt Keeper, decides to mess with Babs while she's relaxing by spraying her with it.
(Babs screams and makes a run to her burrow. She runs past her younger siblings and she jumps into her mother's lap and drinks from her infant sibling's bottle, causing him to cry. Buster runs up to her while he's still armed with his squirt gun)
Babs' Mother (Also voiced by Tress MacNeille): Buster Bunny, don't you dare squirt Babs with that water pistol inside the burrow.
"How dare you try to squirt Babs with that water pistol while I'm busy bottle-feeding the baby? You should be ashamed of yourself!" Sean exclaimed while imitating Babs' Mother.
Sean: (Narrating) Babs' Mother throws her and Buster out of the burrow and Buster continues to spray her with it. Having enough, Babs goes for her squirt gun and decides to get revenge on the little blue bunny.
(Babs runs out of the burrow and tests her squirt gun by spraying at the camera, which leaves everything blurry)
Sean: (V/O as Director) Oh, goddamn it. Stupid bunny.
(The director wipes the water off the camera)
Sean: (Narrating) So, Buster and Babs have an epic water fight which ends up becoming World War III.
(A clip from the 1982 miniseries World War III is shown)
Commander Alexander Vorashin (Played by Jeroen Krabbe): My orders are to take this place.
Colonel Jake Caffey (Played by David Soul): My orders are to stop you.
Announcer: This time, the game couldn't be stopped.
Gen. Aleksey Rudenski (Played by Robert Prosky): The first strike initiative.. is ours.
"You wish. Even though it would be hilarious to see Babs and Buster Bunny take on Soviet paratroopers in Alaska." Sean said.
Buster Bunny: (While hiding behind a tree) Over here, Barbara Anne Bunny.
Babs Bunny: (Runs over to the tree) Don't call me that!
(Buster hides behind another tree and sprays Babs with his squirt gun. Babs runs over to the tree as Buster sprays her some more as she screams. Babs looks behind another tree as Buster pops out from another tree and sprays her. Babs screams and runs up to a tree with a nest and an egg in it)
Buster Bunny: (Inside the egg) Do your ears look better dry… (The egg hatches, revealing him) ...or wet?
(Buster sprays Babs in the face with the squirt gun before running away. Babs chases him)
"Hey, with these two involved, you know something crazy is going to happen." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We then cut to the crazy animal abuser Elmyra Duff, voiced by Cree Summer, trying to teach Furrball, also voiced by Frank Welker, how to swim.
(Elmyra dunks Furrball into the kiddie pool)
Elmyra (Voiced by Cree Summer) Kick and breathe and kick and breathe.
"Oh, man. That poor cat. Can somebody save him, please. He's being tortured by that crazy little girl. That reminds me, need to keep my cat away from her. Also, why would she try to teach him how to swim? He's a fucking cat! He hates water. Well, Maine Coons like water. But still!" Sean exclaimed.
Buster Bunny: (Runs through the backyard) Gangway. Coming through. Pardon me.
Babs Bunny: (Grabs the kiddie pool) Oh, great. Just what I need.
Elmyra: Hey, Miss Bunny-Head-Head, that's my baby kitty poolie-woolie.
(Furrball tries to cut his own tail off with a pair of scissors)
Elmyra: I want it.
Babs Bunny: You want it?
Elmyra: I do, I do, I do, I do!
Babs Bunny: It's all yours, sister.
(Babs tosses the pool onto Elmyra, frightening Furrball away)
Elmyra: (Emerges from the pool) Come back! We've got skydiving lessons at 4!
"Keep running, little kitty. Run away from that crazy bitch!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, things get really crazy as Babs unleashes her evil maniacal laughter by going to the Acme Acres Dam and opening the floodgates and she floods Acme Acres.
Babs Bunny: Perhaps I've gone too far.
"With that crazy stunt? Yes, yes you did. Think about how many lives that you've ended all because you're trying to get even with Buster." Sean said.
Babs Bunny: But Buster will get drenched for sure.
Buster Bunny: (While riding a jet ski) I wouldn't say that.
Sean: (Narrating) Then, Buster decides to kick it up a notch by dropping a barrel of TNT into a volcano, causing it to erupt and causes a massive tidal wave, which ends up flooding Acme Acres. So, any comment on the thousands of lives that these two ended? No? Nothing to add? Well, good. And so begins Buster and Babs' adventure downriver along with Byron Basset. While all this is going on, we begin plot number three as we see Shirley the Loon, voiced by Gail Matthius…
"Who you might recognize her as one of the cast members of Saturday Night Live back in the 80s. And she played the voice of Martha Sven-Generic in the hit Fox Kids show Bobby's World." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Shirley witnesses the entire event through her crystal ball and realizing that Buster and Babs are in trouble but she's stuck having a summer job as a fortune teller and she can't save her. But then this loudmouthed son of a bitch named Fowlmouth, hilariously voiced by the great Rob Paulsen, tries to ask Shirley out to the movies.
Fowlmouth (Voiced by Rob Paulsen): How's about going to the dadgum movies with me?
Shirley the Loon (Voiced by Gail Matthius): Like, go bowl for dollars.
(She shapes Fowlmouth into a ball and smacks him away, sending him flying towards a volleyball)
"Well, that's one way to reject somebody." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that Fifi La Fume, voiced by Kath Soucie, walks up to Shirley and tells her about her dream to meet actor Johnny Pew. Shirley takes a clear look at Fifi's aura, or her skunky pheromones as she sees Johnny heading towards the Acme Resort Hotel and Fifi channels her inner Pepe Le Pew.
Fowlmouth: Come on, Shirl. Let's take in a dadgum flick.
Shirley the Loon: Not now.
(Shirley grabs Fowlmouth and flattens him with a mallet, then throws him like a frisbee)
"Geez, how desperate is this guy to go out on a date? I wasn't that desperate to ask Taylor out on a date when I first asked her out." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from that, poor Dizzy Devil, voiced by Maurice LaMarche, has some problems of his own. Turns out in the summertime, Tasmanian devils like Dizzy shed their fur and if he spins, he'll end up losing it. So, Shirley gives him some advice.
Shirley the Loon: You need to get in touch with your feelings, Diz. Don't deny your inner self. Spin for the sheer joy of spinning.
(Dizzy starts spinning, losing his fur in the process. He stops spinning, then realizes that he doesn't have any fur anymore and screams)
"Hey, Dizzy. Next time, don't take that fortune telling duck's advice. You're better off taking advice from Joey Tribbiani." Sean said.
(A clip from Friends is shown)
Joey Tribbiani (Played by Matt LeBlanc): I got two words for you… threesome.
"Not that kind of advice that I'm talking about." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But because of Dizzy losing his fur, he picks up a cardboard box to cover himself up and comes up with a new fashion trend. Then, Fowlmouth becomes extremely desperate for Shirley to go to the movies with him. Dude, when a girl says that she's not interested, she says she's not interested.
Fowlmouth: You just gotta go to the dadgum movies with me, Shirl. Please?
Shirley the Loon: Oh, all right.
Fowlmouth: (To the viewers) See, the girls just can't dadgum resist me.
"And by the girls just can't resist him, they just want to take a nailgun to their eyes and cut their tongues out." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We check back in with Plucky as his road trip with Hamton and his family continues as the Pig Family drives through the scorching hot desert while singing.
(The Pig Family sings "100 Bottles of Non-Alcoholic Beverages on the Wall", which drives Plucky crazy)
Plucky Duck: Sheesh. The von Trapp family, they ain't. Uh, call me picky, but isn't that song actually "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall"?
Winnie Pig: We don't drink in our family, Plucky.
"Hey, tell that to my Uncle Wade. He tends to get drunk at family gatherings and parties. One time, he got drunk at Taylor's 25th birthday last year and he tried to make a move on her. I had to sort his ass out… by knocking him out with a beer bottle." Sean said.
(Wade hums "Pop Goes the Weasel" while driving through Heck with several volcanoes erupting and one car drive straight into one)
Wade Pig: (Sings) Pop goes the weasel! (Chuckles)
Plucky Duck: Say, Dad, you know anything else? Like, uh, I don't know, "Old MacDonald"?
(Wade hums "Old MacDonald")
Wade Pig: (Singing) Pop goes the weasel!
"Boy, can you imagine him singing the National Anthem?" Sean asked.
Sean: (V/O as Wade Pig humming the National Anthem and starts singing) Pop goes the weasel! (Chuckles)
"Let's just say that he's going to become a nice, juicy roast pig with a honey glaze and a little pineapple if he butchers it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After a rousing game of "Spot the Car", the Pig Family comes across a tunnel. Hamton tells his family to hold their breath and make a wish. But Plucky says that it's childish. Hamton points out to Plucky that if he holds his breath the whole time, his wish will come true.
(Plucky holds his breath)
Plucky Duck: (While trying to hold his breath) I wish I was in Happy World Land. I wish I was in Happy World Land.
(Hamton and his family all hold their breaths as well while they enter the tunnel. It is revealed that the tunnel is seven miles long)
"Seven miles long. Are you talking about the tunnel or the size of my di…" Sean said.
(A clip from the BTAS episode Deep Freeze is shown)
Mr. Freeze (Voiced by Michael Ansara): Silence.
"But let me just finish my dirty joke for a min…" Sean said before he gets interrupted again.
Mr. Freeze: I SAID SILENCE! (Fires his ice gun)
Sean immediately ducks for cover as Mr. Freeze fires his ice gun at him. "Alright, alright! I won't do the joke. Jesus Christ, man!"
Plucky Duck: I wish I was in Happy World Land. I wish I was in Happy World Land.
(Plucky struggles to hold his breath)
Plucky: I can't make it!
(Plucky exhales, which causes the force of his exhaustion to push him out the Pig Family's car. He holds onto the bumper of the car as it drives out of the tunnel. Hamton and his family finally exhale, launching themselves, Plucky, the exterior of the car and the luggage into the air)
Plucky Duck: I miss school.
"Hey, you wish you stayed in Acme Acres for summer school." Sean said.
"Man, and I thought my first flight was bad." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) After their little game, things go back to normal but Plucky's wish didn't come true. Hey, can somebody let Uncle Stinky know that the game is over?
Plucky Duck: Hey, the game's over, Uncle Stin-
(Uncle Stinky exhales on Plucky, erasing all of his colors)
"You know I've heard the saying "I'll beat the black off of you" but I've never thought of seeing someone exhaling their hot breath on someone which causes them to erase the color off of them and make them look like the same shade of color like William Sadler from Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Luckily for Hamton, he has his handy, dandy easel with him to repaint the colors on Plucky.
Hamton J. Pig: Speak to me, Plucky.
Plucky Duck: Auntie Em, is that you?
"No, it's just a fat little butterball." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, let's check back in with Babs and Buster as we see them continue to float downriver. And for some reason, floating downriver for quite some time has sped up Babs to puberty.
Babs Bunny: Hmm. His music does have a certain rustic je ne sais quoi, romantic charm, (in a sultry voice) if you know what I mean.
(Buster stammers as Babs snatches him into her arms)
Buster Bunny: Humma, humma, humma-
Babs Bunny: Why, Buster Bunny, are you falling for me?
Buster Bunny: You might say that.
"Hey, only I do the puns around here." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But they end up going down a waterfall and we get a little cameo from the Man of Steel auditioning for his own show in about four years.
Superman: (Catches Babs, Buster and Byron from falling) I do, kids.
Buster Bunny: Hey, pal, this is our story.
Babs Bunny: Yeah, get your own video.
Superman: It's your call.
(Superman drops them and flies away)
"Okay, that is some shit that Regime Superman from Injustice would do." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from being dropped by Superman, Babs ends up falling into the water below and ends up in a parody of Disney's The Little Mermaid.
Sea Creatures: (Singing) Beneath the ocean. Beneath the ocean. We make big commotion beneath the ocean.
Babs Bunny: Oops. Wrong cartoon.
"Hey, they were singing here." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) As for Buster and Byron, they land on a branch which ends up cracking and Buster uses the dog as a parachute to land safely near the water while the sea creatures and Ariel kick Babs out of their cartoon and she lands near Buster and Byron while looking like a bloated bunny.
Buster Bunny: You okay, Babsy?
(No answer from Babs. Buster stands Babs up. He picks up a bucket then runs over to Babs and picks up her ears. She opens her eyes, revealing them to be filled with water)
"No wonder she looks like that, she has all that water weight." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But Buster manages to empty the water out of Babs, then he throws water at her to wake her.
Babs Bunny: You splash me one more time, blue ears, and I'll…
(The sound of animals chattering is heard)
Buster Bunny: Shh, shh. What's that?
(They look around only to see three possum tails hiding themselves in the bushes)
Babs Bunny: Okay, we're obviously outnumbered. We'll just quietly retreat.
(A shadowy figure hides behind a rock and plays his banjo as Buster and Babs scream and run away in fear. The shadowy figure is revealed to be a possum named Banjo)
"Aaah! POSSUM WITH A BANJO! RUN!" Sean screamed out.
Sean: (Narrating) This little hillbilly possum with a banjo is simply named Banjo the Woodpile Possum, also voiced by Rob Paulsen. Buster recognizes Banjo from the bridge and shakes his hand until some of Banjo's family members appear like something off of Deliverance. Oh, who am I kidding? This is a parody of Deliverance! So, they take them to Banjo's house and three female possums are standing by the stewpot and they're whipping up something delicious.
Buster Bunny: Look, they want us to stay for dinner.
(The male possum pulls on Babs)
Babs Bunny: For dinner or as dinner?
Buster Bunny: Relax, Babs. Don't be so judgmental.
"Besides, these possums are friendly yet packed with rabies. Besides, I think one of them got a proper possum massage from the Opossum lady." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Buster tells Babs that they can still relate to the possums and demonstrates this by playing his tongue like a banjo while Banjo plays his banjo and they begin to play the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song while the other possums try to eat Babs.
(Buster and Banjo play the Tiny Toon Adventures theme song)
Babs Bunny: (Yells) BUSTER!
(Babs escapes the stewpot and tosses the female possum in it)
Sean: (V/O as Babs Bunny) Stop playing dueling banjo tongues and save me from these crazy hillbilly possums! (Screams)
(Babs runs into a hollow log while the two female possums and the baby possum chase her. Babs reaches the other end of the log and sees the male possums running towards her and runs back inside the log)
(A clip from Scary Movie plays)
Shorty (Played by Marlon Wayans): Run, bitch! RUUUUUUUUNNN!
Sean: (Narrating) Babs outwits the hungry possums by tying their tails and tossing the log in the river with them in it as her and Buster leave after that amazing performance. So, they head down the river once more and they pass by a billboard advertising Acme Suntan Lotion with a picture of Elmyra and Furrball and we get a nice little transition to Elmyra trying to put suntan lotion on that poor cat.
(Elmyra is trying to apply suntan lotion on Furrball. Furrball escapes from her)
Elmyra: Come back, kitty, you'll get a sunburn.
"Keep running, Furrball. She may take your life, but she will never take YOUR FREEDOM!" Sean yelled out as he imitates William Wallace from the movie Braveheart.
Sean: (Narrating) And then we get plot #4, which involves Fifi La Fume as she arrives at the Acme Resort Hotel where she attempts to meet Johnny Pew and get his autograph. As she enters the hotel, she runs into the hotel manager, who is also voiced by Rob Paulsen.
Manager (Also voiced by Rob Paulsen): Yes? How may I help you?
Fifi La Fume: I am here to get Johnny Pew's autograph. He is my favorite movie-star skunk hunk.
(The hotel manager kicks Fifi out)
Fifi La Fume: This may be a bit more difficult than I imagined.
"Look, I love getting autographs from celebrities that I meet, but Fifi's just taking this thing a bit too far." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Well, so much for "Plan A", it's time for "Plan B" which involves Fifi wearing a disguise and calling herself Michelle Lovitz while speaking in a Brooklyn accent in order to meet Johnny Pew. But there's one little, well, huge problem.
(The hotel manager leads Fifi to the couch, where the real Michelle Lovitz is sitting at)
Manager: Now, then, you both claim to be Michelle Lovitz.
(The real Michelle Lovitz and Fifi look at each other)
Manager: Will the real Michelle Lovitz please stand up?
(Fifi stands up on the couch while the real Michelle Lovitz stands up, but then sits down on Fifi)
"Disguising yourself as that person, only to see that the real person is there and for you to get crushed by her big fat ass, which I swear that's a ten on the richter scale." Sean said.
Fifi La Fume: (In normal voice) It isn't over till the fat lady sings.
Roseanne Barr (Also voiced by Tress MacNeille): (Sings badly) O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
(Roseanne falls off of the balcony and lands on Fifi, then spits)
"Okay, I get a laugh every time I watch this scene. I swear, Tress MacNeille nailed that Roseanne voice perfect." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But Fifi cries about not getting Johnny Pew's autograph but then she sees a caterer with a dish who's taking it to a Hollywood celebrity, which gives Fifi the opportunity to jump in and hide underneath the dish as the caterer heads up to the eleventh floor, which happens to be a TV studio packed with talk show hosts like Johnny Carson…
Johnny Carson (Also voiced by Joe Alaskey): When I ordered room service, I was hoping they'd send up another room.
(Ed McMahon and the audience laugh)
Sean: (Narrating) Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters…
Barbara Walters (Also voiced by Tress MacNeille): Oprah, what kind of tree are you?
Oprah Winfrey (Also voiced by Cree Summer): Well, girlfriend, I'm a weeping willow. (Starts sobbing)
Audience: Aw.
Sean: (Narrating) And you also have David Letterman and Arsenio Hall.
David Letterman (Also voiced by Maurice LaMarche): So, what's with the hair?
Arsenio Hall (Also voiced by Tress MacNeille): Hey, let's get busy. (Hooting)
David Letterman: Oh, my, we're having some fun now.
"If this was done today, you would see some of today's talk show hosts like Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Conan O'Brien, Trevor Noah, James Corden, Lilly Singh, Samantha Bee. Is Craig Ferguson still doing his late night talk show?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) But that plan fails as the drummer hits the dish, causing Fifi to freak out and run through the window and she cries about not meeting Johnny Pew until Johnny, also voiced by Rob Paulsen, walks up to her.
Johnny Pew (Also voiced by Rob Paulsen): (Pulls out a tissue) Ugh. Blow your nose.
(Fifi speaks in French and grabs the tissue, blowing her nose until she realizes that Johnny has just passed her)
Fifi La Fume: (Jumps in excitement) Johnny! You!
(Fifi jumps onto Johnny)
Fifi La Fume: Ah! Could I have your autograph?
Johnny Pew: Uh, I don't have a pen.
Fifi La Fume: (Looks for a pen in Johnny's pocket) Got to have a pen. Oh, please. (Whimpering then starts sobbing)
"Jesus! Is this how every girl act when they see a guy?" Sean asked.
(A clip from The Babysitters Club is shown)
Stacey McGill (Played by Shay Rudolph): Where have you been keeping him?
"Well, unless you're boy-crazy like Stacey McGill." Sean said.
Johnny Pew: Hey, relax, babe. We'll find one. Come on.
Fifi La Fume: I would die for you.
Johnny Pew: I know, but that won't be necessary. You can just carry my stuff.
(Johnny empties his beach supplies from out of his car and places them on top of Fifi)
"Boy, this guy is gonna represent every single bad boy that attracts all the girls, then breaks their hearts and leaves us nice guys having to deal with the aftermath, isn't he? Looks like I have a new picture for my target dummy. You're off the hook, Justin Bieber." Sean said while he's holding his MP5 submachine gun.
"Ugh, what a jerk." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) While Fifi follows Johnny around so she can get the Vitamin D from him, we check back in with Hamton and Plucky as the Pig Family stop for lunch.
Hamton J. Pig: Mm. Yum. Mayo and cream cheese on white with the crusts cut off. My favorite.
Sean begins to vomit a little in his mouth after seeing and hearing what Hamton and his family are eating.
"Sorry about that, I accidentally threw up a little in my mouth. I thought what they're eating made me sick to my stomach. Mayo and cream cheese, really? Why bother to bring your own food? You're at a fast food restaurant. At least get some real food. I'm sure that Plucky will get himself something to eat." Sean said.
Mitzi: That's five waters to go. Are you sure you don't want anything else?
Plucky Duck: Why, yes. I'd like a jumbo cheeseburger, chili fries, a cherry pie- Unh.
(The Pig Family immediately grab their waters)
Wade Pig: (Pays Mitzi) Thanks, miss. We're fine.
"What the hell, dude?! At least give the poor duck some real food. No need to torture him. Man, I hate to be in the car with that family. And I'm in the mood for a burger. Excuse me for a second, I'll be right back." Sean said as he gets up from off of the couch and leaves the house.
(We see the words "Five Minutes Later" on the screen)
Narrator: Five minutes later.
Sean returns from a trip to Frisch's Big Boy as he enters his house and sits down on his couch before taking off his Avengers face mask. He reaches into his bag and grabs his Super Big Boy with extra tartar sauce and fries. Before he could take a bite out of his burger, Sean looks at the camera.
"What? I was in the mood for a Big Boy and I decided to drive to Frisch's and get me one." Sean said. "Look, I know that I'm supposed to be eating healthy but sue me."
Brian enters the house, with his own Big Boy and fries in hand and a Coca-Cola.
"You too, huh?" Sean asked.
"Yep." Brian replied.
Sean: (Narrating) So much for a nice burger and fries. Well, at least Plucky brought his comic book to read on the trip.
Plucky Duck: A pristine, mint-condition first printing of Immature Radioactive Samurai Slugs. Number one.
Winnie Pig: Oh, no, Plucky, we don't allow Hamton to read comic books on family trips.
"Why not? He's a kid. He needs something to do during this boring as hell car ride. It's not like comic are violent towards children.
Hamton J. Pig: It's not that. (Looking queasy) Reading in the car always makes me, gulp, carsick.
"Oh, shit." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So Plucky tries to get something for Hamton to puke in, but it looks like the little pig has found his target to puke on.
(The camera cuts to a view outside the Pig Family's car)
Plucky Duck: No, Hamton, not on the comic!
(Hamton throws up all over the comic anyway as Plucky screams in disdain)
"Okay, Plucky said that the comic was pristine and in mint condition. Why would he have that anywhere near Hamton where it could get ruined. As an avid comic book reader and collector, he could've kept it safely away at home and years later it would be worth a shitload of money. But no. He done fucked up now because the comic is now covered in pig puke." Sean said.
(A clip from Wedding Crashers is shown)
Chazz (Played by Will Ferrell): What an idiot!
Sean: (Narrating) We check back in with Buster and Babs as we see them rowing along the Mississippi Bayou and Buster tries to woo Babs in his very own special way.
Buster Bunny: You know, Babsy, in this moonlight, you look just like Morey Amsterdam.
Babs Bunny: Morey Amsterdam?!
Sean turns to the left and pulls out a photo of Morey Amsterdam and Babs Bunny and putting the two side-by-side. "Yeah, I can see the resemblance."
(Buster pulls out his squirt gun and sprays Babs with it. He turns around and notices something right when Babs is about to kill him)
Buster Bunny: Hey, look.
Babs Bunny: (In a Southern Accent) Well, shut my mouth wide open. A southern mansion.
Sean: (Narrating) They come across a southern mansion which turns out to be the home of three alligator girls. Let me guess, distant cousins of Leatherhead? (A picture of Leatherhead from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon is shown) So, they bring him inside and tie him up to a chair. The alligator girls Big Boo voiced by Tress MacNeille, Sissy Boo voiced by Gail Matthius and Little Boo voiced by Kath Soucie...
"Geez, how many characters have they voiced in this movie? Damn!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) They think that he has come to their little Fourth of July soiree, but Buster tries to hop away but he ends up bumping into their father.
Big Daddy Boo (Voiced by Sorrell Booke): Well, skin me alive and call me luggage. (Sniffs Buster) What have we here?
"This is what happens when you turn Uncle Lou Marcano from Mafia III into an alligator, folks." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Big Daddy Boo, voiced by the late Sorrell Booke, who you might recognize him as Boss Hogg from The Dukes of Hazzard (A picture of Sorrell Booke as Boss Hogg is shown), asks his daughters what's going on and they tell him that Buster's come a courtin'.
Buster Bunny: I'm not courting anyone.
Big Daddy Boo: Well, of course you're not, son. Courting's over. (Unties Buster) It's time for the wedding.
Buster Bunny: (Shrinks in fear) What?
Big Boo (Also voiced by Tress MacNeille): Ooh. A Fourth of July wedding. How romantical.
Big Daddy Boo: Now, which one of you hasn't been married for a while?
Big Boo: Me, Big Daddy.
Sissy Boo (Also voiced by Gail Matthius): (Grabs Big Boo by her dress) No, it's me.
Little Boo (Also voiced by Kath Soucie): (Grabs Sissy Boo by her tail) Me. It's my turn.
(Big Boo grabs and runs away with Buster)
Big Boo: Ha, ha. It's mine. (Gets tripped by Little Boo)
(Big Boo falls on top of Buster. Buster pops out from between Big Boo's big boobs)
"Okay, that's not a kid-friendly image for a kid's movie. But then again, Buster's getting himself some big-ass titties in his adventure and it's not Babs'." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The sisters continue to fight over Buster until Big Daddy Boo proposes an idea.
Big Daddy Boo: You'll all marry this one.
Big Boo: I'll get the wedding rings.
Sissy Boo: I'll get the flowers.
Little Boo: I'll get the oven ready.
Buster Bunny: I can't marry all three of them. That's bigamy.
Big Daddy Boo: No. That's big of me.
"Okay, first of all, let do all the bad puns here. It's my job. And second, for those of you that don't know what bigamy is, then why don't you watch Big Love? It's on HBO Max." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating in a southern accent) Wanting to stop her beau from being the husband of three gators, it's up to this lovely pink bunny to save the day. And with her being the master of basic cartoons, she disguises herself as Chuck B. Charlatan, a fireworks salesman. Also, her foes have mush for brains and they fall for disguises.
Big Daddy Boo: Well, I don't know?
Babs Bunny: (In a southern accent) I am authorized by the Acme Fireworks Company to offer you, at no charge whatsoever, a free fireworks demonstration. (Hands each of the Boo Sisters a sparkler) Nice dress. Make it yourself? Here you go. Greetings, Godzilla. (To Buster) Looking kind of peaked there, son.
Buster Bunny: You took long enough.
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life miserable and married to these three gators who want to eat me." Sean said, imitating Buster Bunny.
Babs Bunny: Goodbye, good luck and bon voyagey.
Sissy Boo: Goodbye!
Big Daddy Boo: Bye-bye.
(Babs lights the fuses to the fireworks. Buster notices this and jump out of the gazebo in the nick of time and the fireworks launch the gazebo into the air and explodes)
Babs Bunny: (In normal voice) Happy Independence Day.
Buster Bunny: And as Ben Franklin once said, "Let's bolt."
"Or as Will Smith would say…" Sean said.
(A clip from the 1996 movie Independence Day is shown)
Captain Steven Hiller (Played by Will Smith): Welcome to Earth! (Sits on alien plane and puts a cigar in his mouth) Now that's what *I* call a close encounter.
"And if you want me to mention the 1983 romantic drama that the Cinema Snob reviewed Independence Day, which involves a house exploding which was caused by Dianne Wiest." Sean said.
(A clip from the 1983 movie Independence Day is shown. In the clip, we see the character Nancy Morgan, played by Dianne Wiest, holding a match as her abusive husband Les, played by Cliff De Young, sees that she's about to strike it)
Les Morgan (Played by Cliff De Young): You crazy…
(Les tries to stop Nancy, but Nancy strikes the match and the house explodes, killing both her and Les)
"Well, at least ID4 '96 has better explosions." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) You know, this has been great so far. We only have four plots in this movie. Which is great. I mean, it's not like we're gonna have another plot which involves…
(We cut to the Wild Safari Zoo, where we see Elmyra and her family is driving the car towards)
Elmyra: Why my kitty ran away? I want a kitty-witty head.
"No. No, don't do this to me, movie. Please tell me that Elmyra doesn't have a plot of her own." Sean said as the word "YES" in big, red letters pop up on the screen as the young critic looks down and noticed this. "SON OF A BITCH!"
Sean: (Narrating) Yes, our favorite torturer of animals has her own plot of her own and plot number 5 involves Elmyra terrorizing the wild kingdom. And what does she do? She jumps out of the car just to get a cheetah and she bothers the poor thing by taking his fur. Then, she torments a bunch of lion cubs and setting up her own school with a bunch of animals tied up. And look what she does to the gazelle.
Elmyra: Ooh, ooh. Here's a pretty picture. Look, Mr. Pretty-Faced-Gazelley. That's you. (Shows the picture to the gazelle and smacks it in the face with the book) Kiss yourself. Kiss yourself. Kiss yourself.
Sean picks up his phone and starts dialing the number for the animal police.
"Hello, animal police? Yes, I would like to report a crime. Yes, a crazy little girl with red hair and a bow on her head with Mr. Skullhead on it is terrorizing the animal kingdom. You have to stop her. Also, she's wearing a cheetah's fur. Hurry!" Sean exclaimed.
(While Elmyra is busy skipping rope by using the tail of the cheetah's fur and skipping rope and singing, a panther spies on her, planning to eat her)
"Oh, hell yeah! This is going to get interesting." Sean said.
(The Wakanda theme from the movie Black Panther plays as the panther follows Elmyra through the jungle)
"Kill her, panther. Kill her. Just bite her head off." Sean said.
(As the Wakanda theme intensifies, the panther follows Elmyra across the river. The turtles turn to face him and as they see him they dive into the water, which the panther ends up falling into the water and the sound of a record scratching is heard)
"What the?" Sean asked.
(Elmyra skips up a hill and jumps on top of a boulder, she jumps off which causes the boulder to roll down the hill. The panther pokes his head out and he looks around until the boulder lands on his head, flattening it. The panther sinks back into the water)
"This maybe the night that this panther will see all the stars circling around his head." Sean said, making a joke about the Kendrick Lamar and SZA song. "Rest in peace, Chadwick Boseman."
Sean: (Narrating) But the animals have had enough of Elmyra and her abuse towards them as they complain to the Lion King that Elmyra has been causing problems. And when she arrives he goes over to deal with her and end her reign of terror in his jungle.
Elmyra: Well, if it isn't the king of the jungle.
(The Lion King roars at Elmyra)
"Hmm, let's see what could happen." Brian said.
(We see several clips from TruTV's World's Dumbest involving people getting attacked by lions)
Sean: (Narrating) This doesn't fazes the little hellspawn as she decides to shave Mufasa's mane and give him the Bart Simpson-style and she chases the animals off and they go GTA V on Elmyra's parents and drive off and I begin to ponder why Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain was made. Back with Plucky and Hamton, they stop off at a gas station for a potty break by putting on Hazmat suits. What?
"Why would they need Hazmat suits to use the restroom?" Sean asked.
Wade Pig: Commence restroom sterilization.
(The Pig Family, dressed in Hazmat suits, enter the restroom and begin to clean them before using them)
"Guess they didn't want to deal with the Coronavirus either." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But Plucky notices a water fountain and with his mouth being dry, he tries to get himself some water but the Pig Family drag Plucky away from the cool, crisp, refreshing water. My God, these people are horrible. I just want them to drive off a fucking cliff.
Wade Pig: How about some music, Winnie?
Winnie Pig: Ooh, lovely.
(Wade turns the radio on)
Elmer Fudd (Also voiced by Joe Alaskey): (On radio) This is K-FUDD radio. Restful rhythms for weary wayfarers. (Laugh)
(An instrumental easy-listening version of "Pop Goes the Weasel" plays on the radio, which annoys Plucky)
Plucky Duck: This is sheer torture.
"That's how I feel every time Taylor listens to the Spice Girls in the car." Sean said.
"Sean. have you seen my Spice Girls CD?" Taylor asked.
"No." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But let's skip ahead as we cut to a dark, stormy night as the Pig Family pick up this creepy, looking hitchiker named Mr. Hitcher, voiced by Rob Paulsen. As they pick up Mr. Hitcher and give him a ride, Plucky gets freaked out by the guy when he hears a radio announcement describing the guy.
Radio Announcer: A psychotic killer has escaped from the state maximum-security prison.
(Plucky looks up at Mr. Hitcher)
Radio Announcer: The raving maniac is described as a lanky man with scraggly hair and a pasty complexion. When last sighted, the homicidal fiend was wearing a dirty baseball cap, tattered overcoat and green high-tops.
(Plucky is relieved to see Mr. Hitcher wearing orange high-tops)
Plucky Duck: Phew.
Radio Announcer: Wait. I'm sorry. That's orange high-tops.
(Plucky is shocked when he sees the orange high-tops)
"And those idiots picked him up?! Are they insane?!" Sean asked. "But wait, there's more about this guy. Just wait till you hear this."
Radio Announcer: Doctors report the slavering lunatic has a psychotic aversion to pork.
"He has a psychotic aversion to pork. And he's in a car with a bunch of pigs. Question, what set him off to pork? Did his family get killed by a group of pigs? Did a pig attack him when he was a kid?" Sean asked.
(A clip from The Babysitters Club is shown)
Kristy Thomas (Played by Sophie Grace): Hard drugs?
Mary-Anne Spier (Played by Malia Baker): Kristy!
Kristy Thomas: What?
"And yet, Hamton and his family are clueless to this guy being in the car with them and him wanting smothered pork chops for dinner." Sean said as he slaps his forehead in disgust.
(Mr. Hitcher laughs evily and puts on a hockey mask)
Mr. Hitcher (Also voiced by Rob Paulsen): (While starting a chainsaw) Bacon. Pork chops. (Laughs) Hog jowls.
(Plucky runs up to the Pig Family and tries to tell them that Mr. Hitcher is a psychotic killer)
Plucky Duck: It's the… It's the… It's the… (Runs up to Uncle Stinky and stops) Whew. Ee. Ay. (Runs up to Mr. Hitcher and then stares at him and screams as he runs into Winnie's bonnet and hides)
Winnie Pig: No roughhousing in the car, Plucky.
(Winnie pulls Plucky from out of her bonnet and sits him next to Mr. Hitcher)
"He's trying to tell you idiots that the guy you picked up is about to kill you. Jesus, learn to listen, you dumbasses." Sean said.
Mr. Hitcher: (Starts his chainsaw again) Spareribs. Ham hocks. Carnitas.
Sean: (Narrating) Plucky sends an SOS to Shirley and drops it off at a mailbox until a postman picks it up and gets into a mail truck and we get this little bit involving Road Runner.
(Road Runner is standing in front of the mail truck)
Road Runner: Meep Meep!
(The mail truck runs over Road Runner and flattens him)
"Okay, I wonder if Wile E. Coyote was driving that mail truck because he just murdered Road Runner." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The postman delivers the letter to Shirley, but before she reads the letter, Fowlmouth drags her to the movie. So, the two of them arrive at the movies and he immediately causes some trouble at the concession stand.
Husband: (To his wife) Honey, what do you want?
(Fowlmouth cuts in front of the husband and his wife)
Fowlmouth: Ha, ha. He called me honey. Let's see. I'll have one giant dadgum popcorn, two wieners, hold the dadgum mustard. Hmm. Goobers or Raisinets? Goobers or Raisinets? Heh. Ain't that the eternal question?
(The husband angrily kicks Fowlmouth out of the line)
Fowlmouth: Guess I'll never know the eternal answer.
"You're right. Goobers or Raisinets is the eternal question like "How many licks does it take to get to a Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?". The world may never know." Sean said.
(Fowlmouth looks for Shirley and bumps into other customers, including Roseanne Barr, Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep, Cher, Pee-Wee Herman and Woody Allen)
Fowlmouth: Pardon me. Gangway. Excuse me, you walking area code. Could you move your…? Ow. Dadgum it. Excuse me. Ooh. Dadgum it!
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. Go back to that one celebrity cameo that was sitting in between Meryl Streep and Cher." Sean said.
(The footage plays back and pauses on Pee-Wee Herman)
"Okay, that was Pee-Wee Herman in a movie theater. So we have Pee-Wee Herman in a movie theater eating french fries. Thanks God, because I thought he was going to be whacking off in a public theater again. For those of you who didn't get that joke, there was a little incident back in '91 involving Pee-Wee Herman playing with his little Pee-Wee in a movie theater. Look it up." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And hey, what kind of monster would I be if I don't show this memorable parody.
(The sound system promo parodying the THX Cimarron variant from 1988 begins, much to the fear of Shirley and the other customers)
Shirley the Loon: Guy, the sound-system promo!
(Shirley puts on a helmet and ducks as the sound system promo play, making a loud, droning noise and the logo "THUD" is shown, ending with the slogan "The Audience is Now Deaf")
Announcer: The audience is now deaf.
(A clip from The Simpsons is shown)
Grandpa Abe Simpson (Voiced by Dan Castellaneta): Turn it up! Turn it up!
(We then see Fifi and Johnny looking for seats while Fifi is carrying the food that Johnny ordered)
Sean: (Narrating) And not only Fowlmouth and Shirley are in the theater, Johnny and Fifi are there too.
Johnny Pew: (Jokes) Hello. Are we putting on a little weight, n'est ce pas?
Fifi La Fume: Popcorn pour vous. (Hands Johnny the bucket of popcorn)
Johnny Pew: Babe, take out the unpopped kernels, okay? They'll chip my caps.
"How long until Fifi sees what a piece of shit Johnny Pew is?" Sean asked. "Because I want her to let him have it sooooooooo bad." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, the movie begins as Fowlmouth proceeds to talk during the movie.
Fowlmouth: I've seen this a hundred times. There's Horatio, the skunknophobe.
Man: Shh. Come on. Down in front.
Fowlmouth: Okay, look, Shirl, Horatio is about to get a dadgum flat tire.
Audience Member: Shh.
Fowlmouth: "Shh" yourself! (Blows raspberry)
"See? This is why I don't like going to the movies. It's because assholes like Fowlmouth tend to talk through the goddamn movie. Do you know how many times that I have to deal with that shit?" Sean asked.
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
(We see Sean sitting in his living room watching Halloween 2018. While watching the scene where Michael Myers kills the babysitter Vicky, Sean hears someone talking during the movie)
Man: Get yo ass outta there, white girl!
Sean: Shut the fu... Mmmmm!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Fowlmouth: Okay, Horatio is terrified of skunks, right? Watch what happens when he gets out to change his dadgum tire.
"Dude, shut up. Let people enjoy the movie. Nobody needs to hear your interesting commentary." Sean said.
(Fowlmouth starts laughing)
Fowlmouth: You think it's a real dadgum skunk. But it's only the stinky state trooper again.
"Shut up!" Sean growled.
(The audience member who was sitting in front of Fowlmouth turns to face him and ties his legs into a knot and puts his feet in his mouth)
Shirley the Loon: Happy?
"Thank you, big man who put Fowlmouth in the pretzel position." Sean said.
Horatio: (In the movie) Ah. Nothing like cool, fresh well water.
Fowlmouth: Look out, Horatio!
"I swear to God, I'm gonna curb stomp this little fucker like Edward Norton from American History X if he don't shut his big mouth." Sean said.
Fowlmouth: That scene really scared me the first time I saw it.
Audience Member: That's it! I'm moving!
Fowlmouth: Don't forget to write.
Crowd: Shh!
Fowlmouth: Oh, you just missed the best part of the movie.
"Can I choke the chicken now? No, not like that! I'm talking about the chicken flapping his beak during the movie. Forget it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But Fowlmouth gets his as the audience has had enough of his big mouth and throw him into the movie, which lead to the actors of Skunknophobia tossing him out of the theater, thank God. That's one plot down, four to go. During the movie, Fifi finally sees what a scumbag Johnny Pew is when he checks out this Bimbette Skunk and signs Fifi's photo and gives it to that skank and Fifi goes full-on Miss Piggy on his ass.
Fifi La Fume: That was my photograph. I cannot believe you.
Johnny Pew: Yeah, well, I am pretty unbelievable. Heh.
Fifi La Fume: You are nothing but a selfish, worthless waste of skunk. (Grabs Johnny) You, Monsieur Pew, stink!
(Kicks Johnny out of the theater as the audience witnesses this and cheers)
"Whoo! You go girl!" Sean cheers.
Sean: (Narrating) And to make matters worse for Johnny, he lands right into the arms of Elmyra, who she thinks is a kitty. Well, at least he's Elmyra's problem now. So, that's three plots down, two to go as we head straight into September, where we see that Buster and Babs are still downriver and Buster tries to be romantic.
Buster Bunny: You know, you look kind of pretty there standing in the rain. I love the way the wind rustles through your ears and that shine the water makes on your fur. And your uncanny resemblance to a drowned rat when you get drenched.
Babs Bunny: Drowned rat, huh? I'll show you.
(As Babs is about to hit Buster with her oar, she holds it up, which causes lightning to strike and shock her)
"Dang, God's trying to kill her during this trip." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) As much fun and exciting this trip is for Babs, she misses home. She misses her family, she misses performing. She miss being dry because Buster keeps spraying her with his squirt gun. But the steamboat is headed right towards them as they jump off of the table, with Buster landing on the boat while Babs is still in the water.
Buster Bunny: Babs, grab the lifesaver!
Babs Bunny: Who can think of candy at a time like this?
"Hey, he was chanting the Life Savers candy jingle by Ladysmith Black Mambazo. He had it stuck in his head during the trip." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Buster saves Babs and gets her on the boat until we see the captain of the steamboat Delta Burke, named after the actress from Designing Women, named Tupelo Toad also voiced by Joe Alaskey, approaches them and sees them as stowaways.
Tupelo Toad (Voiced by Joe Alaskey): I'm Captain Tupelo Toad. Now, I don't cotton to stowaways aboard my good ship Delta Burke.
Babs Bunny: Call me kooky, but that sounds like a song cue to me.
(Babs spin-changes into a costume resembling Shirley Temple)
Babs Bunny: (Singing) On the good ship Delta Burke.
(Buster grabs Babs' lollipop and silences her by shoving it in her mouth)
"That's not the only lollipop that Buster is going to shove in Babs' mouth, if you know what I mean." Sean said, winking naughtily at the camera.
Sean: (Narrating) The good captain sees that Babs is just what they need for their big show after he gets impressed by her impression of Shirley Temple and Babs becomes starstruck about wanting to be in the show and Captain Tupelo Toad thinks that they can make some sort of deal. Which we'll get back to later because we go back to Plucky's trip and it turns out that Mr. Hitcher wants roast duck for the menu and he tries to murder him.
(Mr. Hitcher tries to kill Plucky with a chainsaw)
Plucky Duck: (Tries to get Wade's attention) Dad. Oh, Dad. Wade. Mr. Pig. (Screams)
Sean: (Narrating) But luckily, the Pig Family manage to drop him off because it's as far as they could go.
Wade Pig: Now, remember, if you're ever in Acme Acres, drop by and we'll chew the fat. Ha, ha. Little pig joke there. Hasta lumbago.
(Mr. Hitcher approaches the Pig Family's car and as they drive away just in time, he slices off the trunk of their car and a telephone pole with a chainsaw)
Mr. Hitcher: Die, piggy swine!
(The telephone pole falls on Mr. Hitcher and pounds him into the ground)
"I want roast pig with honey glaze and a little pineapple. Get me out of the fucking ground!" Sean exclaimed, imitating Mr. Hitcher.
Sean: (Narrating) Well, at least the Pig Family and Plucky got a kiss from the Angel of Death because good news, they're almost to their stop. Which is HappyWorldLand, which Plucky is ecstatic. And man, this place is poking fun at Disneyland, just look at the castle.
Singers: (Singing) Welcome to a land where the fun never stops. We have six thrill rides and 400 gift shops…
"Uh, shouldn't that be 400 thrill rides and 6 gift shops. Kings Island you ain't." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, they get on the monorail to take them to the park and Plucky checks out every ride and once the monorail ride is over, Plucky gets ready to go on every ride and…
"Sean!" Taylor exclaimed.
"What?" Sean asked.
"Don't spoil it for people who haven't seen it." Taylor said.
"Oh, come on. I have to talk about this part." Sean said.
"Yeah, well if you talk about this scene and ruin it for people, they won't be surprised by the outcome of this. So please, for once, don't spoil it." Taylor said.
"Fine, I won't spoil it. Okay, I'm not going to spoil what's going to happen. Let's just say that the outcome of this is so mean spirited, you'll end up hating on them because they are nuts. If you want to see how it ends up, just watch it on Hulu. They got it on there. Or you can order the DVD from Amazon. It's not that hard." Sean said.
"Let's just say that they have other plans." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) We check back in with Buster and Babs as we see them performing on the Delta Burke for the crowd, with Babs doing some comedy of her own and annoying Buster while he's trying to talk to the audience about their little adventure. They get a bunch of laughs from the audience and they want to see their audience. So when the lights are turned on, they see it's the creeps that they've encountered during their little adventure, which means….
Babs Bunny: Possums.
Buster Bunny: Gator.
Babs Bunny: Dinner theater.
Buster Bunny: Main course.
Babs Bunny: Options?
Buster Bunny: One.
Babs Bunny: Bolt.
Buster Bunny: Bingo.
Babs Bunny: Ready?
Buster Bunny: Go!
(The audience pounce on them as Buster and Babs run away)
Sean: (Narrating) So yeah, Buster and Babs are on a ship filled with people who want to eat them. And as they get cornered by Tupelo Toad and the passengers on the ship, who will be there to save them?
(Byron looks down and sees Buster and Babs in trouble)
Babs Bunny: So where's Superman when you need him?
"Probably killing Shazam right about now." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So Byron swoops in and saves Buster and Babs like Superman and look what they did to poor E.T. and Elliot.
(They fly past the moon and E.T. and Elliot's bicycle, causing it to fall out of the sky)
"I get a laugh every time I watch that scene." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So after they land, they make a run for it as everyone is out to get them. And to make things crazier, Mr. Hitcher arrives and he wants to add welsh rabbit to the menu, but then they're saved by a familiar possum.
Babs Bunny: Oh, no, one of those possums.
Banjo (Voiced by Rob Paulsen): Oh, shoot. Don't fret none, missy. I ain't like my simple backwoods cousins. I'd never eat a guy who could play his face.
Buster Bunny: See, Babsy, I told you music was the universal language.
Babs Bunny: And here I thought it was Esperanto.
"Uh, Babs. Buster speaks english." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And this is where things get bat-shit insane in a little parody of the mine cart chase from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with Mr. Hitcher trying to kill Buster and Babs. And then we cut to the end of Plucky's trip as they return to Acme Acres. But the madness isn't over yet as Plucky has to sit through the horrors of watching a slideshow with the Pig Family. Oh, the horror!
(While the Pig Family and Plucky are watching the slideshow)
Winnie Pig: Ooh, there's that bathroom at that motel we stayed at in Yorba Linda.
Hamton J. Pig: It was so clean.
(Stinky grunting)
We cut to Sean as we see him putting his head down on the table.
"Oh, God!" Sean exclaimed.
Winnie Pig: There's that nice young man we met.
(Plucky screams)
Winnie Pig: Did you give him our address?
Hamton J. Pig: No, Mom. I gave him Plucky's.
Plucky Duck: What?!
Hamton J. Pig: Oh, look, the parking lot of HappyWorldLand.
(Plucky sobbing)
Wade Pig: And that's the last slide.
"Oh, thank God! I thought I was going to shoot myself if they continued their slideshow." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And thus, Plucky's summer vacation from Hell is over. We then get to the climax of the movie as the mine cart chase continues but they manage to fend of the creepy guy by pulling a switch to point Mr. Hitcher to the opposite direction, which causes him to fall off a cliff. Well, he's dead. And so are Buster and Babs as they see that the bridge is out.
Babs Bunny: Oh, Buster. I never got a chance to tell you…
Buster Bunny: Shh. I feel the same way.
"Oh, well. At least they both feel the same way about each other before they die." Sean said.
(The mine cart crashes through the sign as Buster, Babs, Byron and Banjo fall out of the mine cart and they fall into a hole with a sign that reads "PLOT HOLE")
Buster Bunny: A plot hole?
Babs Bunny: I was wondering how those hack writers were gonna wrap things up.
"Hey, those hack writers got you a Daytime Emmy Award. Watch what you say about them." Sean said.
Babs Bunny: (While falling through the plot hole) Head towards the light.
Buster Bunny: What? Do we got a choice?
"Carol Anne, stay away from the light! Stay away from the light!" Sean said, imitating the character Tangina from the movie Poltergeist.
"Wrong movie." Taylor said.
"Sorry, I had to make a reference to Poltergeist." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But it turns out that the plot hole sends them back home to Acme Acres and in front of Acme Looniversity, which means it's the first day of school and it's the end of Buster and Babs' little adventure, which pisses off Babs.
Babs Bunny: Way to go, Huck Finn. We spent our entire vacation downriver. Summer's over.
Buster Bunny: Yeah. And I can't think of a better way to have spent it, Babs, than with you. (Kisses Babs' hand)
Babs Bunny: (In a lovestruck state) Really?
Buster Bunny: Absolutely.
(Babs sighs. Then, Buster pulls out his squirt gun and sprays her with it. Babs growls furiously as Buster laughs while she chases after him)
"Well, the only good thing about this trip is that Buster manages to get Babs wet the whole time." Sean said as the audience boos at his bad pun. "What? What? What? Come on! You gotta admit that it was funny."
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, our little movie ends with summer being over and school is back and we get the characters singing the Tiny Toon Adventures theme once more and before the movie ends, Babs gets her revenge on Buster.
Babs Bunny: (Sings) And now you are just damp.
(Babs pulls on a rope, which dumps a large pile of water on Buster, drenching him)
Babs Bunny: I just can't help myself!
"And that was Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation and man, this movie is so darn good." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie are shown once more)
Sean: (Narrating) It's incredibly funny and fantastically animated. The movie has some brilliant writing and what makes this movie work is that the writers get their audience. We've all been on that road trip from Hell, we've dreamed of that river raft adventure. It's brilliant writing and comedy that has made Warner Bros. Animation of the '90s so memorable and nostalgic. It's a shame that the movie didn't get a theatrical release, but if it did it would gain a cult following like Batman: Mask of the Phantasm. If you haven't seen the movie, then for crying out loud order it from Amazon or watch it on Hulu. Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation gets 5 hilarious plots out of 5.
"And that's all the time we have for today. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and now my review is done." Sean said.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- (Singing) Pop goes the weasel!
And that's all for my review of Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation and man, did I have a lot of fun writing this review. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, get ready for some epic rage when Sean reviews the 1987 movie Jaws: The Revenge and this time… it's really personal. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Coming in October, Halloween Havoc III starts. Here are some of the movies that I'll be reviewing for Halloween Havoc III:
Psycho IV: The Beginning
The Return of the Living Dead
Scream 2
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (The Producer's Cut)
Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood
Hope you all are excited for Halloween Havoc III. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.