The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers and welcome back to another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. I hope that you all are staying safe and staying healthy. When we last left off, Sean kicked off Halloween Havoc III by taking a look at the 1988 fantasy comedy Beetlejuice. Today, Sean finishes up the Psycho film series by taking a look at the final entry of the series. The 1990 made-for-television movie Psycho IV: The Beginning. Is it a hidden gem or is it a sequel that deserves to be forgotten. Well, let's tune in and find out. This is the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Psycho IV: The Beginning is owned by Universal Television and Smart Money Productions.
Halloween Havoc III Part II
Psycho IV: The Beginning
(The intro begins as we open with a little homage to The Outer Limits)
Sean: (V/O as Narrator) There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. I am controlling transmission. If I wish to make it louder, I will bring up the volume so you could hear real loud. If i wish to make it softer (Doesn't say anything). I will control the horizontal. I can control the vertical. I can control the aspect ratio of your movie. I can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity or I can change the color or make the screen very bright just to blind you. And you're probably wondering why this intro is a parody of a show from the sixties that was rebooted in the nineties. For the next hour, sit quietly and I will control all that you see and hear. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and hilarity which reaches from the inner mind to…
THE
MAYHEM
LIMITS
Sean: (V/O) The Mayhem Limits. Please stand by.
We open the show with Sean J. Archer a.k.a. the Mayhem Critic, sitting on his couch in his living room wearing his usual Halloween getup before he talks about the topic of today's review.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean said. "You know every horror franchise has it's bad apple, right?"
(Posters for the movies Halloween: Resurrection, Jason X, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare and Jaws: The Revenge are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) You have films like Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Jaws that tends to have a sequel that's bad. Now, I know that there are some in the franchise that have the best sequel, but you know the one after that tends to suck ass. To quote Stephen King: "Sometimes they come back… to suck often.".
"And today's movie shows why every horror franchise has a sequel that sucks. Psycho IV: The Beginning." Sean said.
(The title screen for the movie is shown, followed by clips from the movie while the "Psycho" theme composed by Bernard Hermann plays)
Sean: (Narrating) Psycho IV: The Beginning was a made-for-television movie that aired on Showtime on November 10th, 1990 and it stars Anthony Perkins for the final time before his death in 1992. (A picture of the movie's director, Mick Garris is shown, along with a few other works of his) The film was directed by Mick Garris, who you might recognize him as one of the screenwriters of The Fly II and Hocus Pocus and he also directed such classic films like Critters 2: The Main Course, Sleepwalkers and a half a dozen Stephen King adaptations like The Stand, The Shining and Riding the Bullet. (A picture of screenwriter Joseph Stefano is shown) The film was also written by Joseph Stefano who also wrote the screenplay for the original film, he came back to pen the final chapter and close the book on Norman Bates. Just to let you guys know that this movie is a prequel/sequel in which we see how Norman Bates became a psycho.
"So, will this movie be awesome? Spoiler alert: no, it will not be awesome. It's gonna suck, trust me. Let's go back to the beginning with Psycho IV: The Beginning." Sean said.
(The opening credits are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) The movie opens with the classic Psycho theme by Bernard Hermann and during the credits sequence, we get this very annoying editing choice. You have two frames followed by words. After the opening credits end, we open with a shot of some guy's mouth for like 30 seconds, again very annoying. Actually, it's a radio talk show where we see a talk show host by the name of Fran Ambrose, played by CCH Pounder, you know Bertha from RoboCop 3…
"Oh, great. I'm mentioning an actress who appeared in a shitty sequel that I reviewed last year for Sequelitis Month." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that she's talking about matricide, which is the topic for her show. And no, matricide is not what you call the act of murdering your mattress, it's what they call murdering your mother.
Fran Ambrose (Played by CCH Pounder): And matricide is what we're talking about on the Fran Ambrose Show tonight. Our guests are Dr. Leo Richmond, clinical psychiatrist and author of The Mother Killers: Boys Who Kill Their Mothers. Dr. Richmond is going to help us find out what makes them do it. Mr. George Emeric, the grandfather of that paroled mother killer, and of course, Raymond himself. Raymond, you're able to talk about what made you do what you did?
Raymond Linette (Played by Kurt Paul): I've been talking about it every day for the past four years.
"My mother wouldn't let me wear the clothes that I want to wear or eat ice cream before I went to bed. Hell, she never even took me out to Build-a-Bear Workshop because I asked her over and over and over again. The bitch had to go!" Sean exclaimed, while imitating Raymond.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that one of the guests happens to be Dr. Leo Richmond, played by Warren Frost. Dr. Richmond talks about a certain patient of his who he was involved with 30 years ago.
Dr. Leo Richmond (Played by Warren Frost): A young man had turned himself into his mother out of guilt for having murdered her.
Fran Ambrose: Turned himself into his mother?
Dr. Leo Richmond: Dressed up in her clothes, spoke in her voice, killed as her, all to create the illusion she was still alive, that he had not committed matricide. As I said at the time, matricide is probably the most unbearable crime of all. And most unbearable to the son who commits it.
"And yes, Dr. Richmond is the same doctor from the original film, except his first name was not Leo. In the original movie, Dr. Fred Richmond was the name of the doctor who explained Norman's condition. Uh, why couldn't that guy be Dr. Fred Richmond instead of Dr. Leo Richmond, you idiots?!" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Fran gets a call from an unknown caller named Ed, but it turns out to be Norman Bates, played by Anthony Perkins, using the alias "Ed", you know, as in Ed Gein?
"Didn't they base Norman off of Ed Gein?" Brian asked.
"From what I've read, yeah." Sean replied.
Fran Ambrose: Are you saying you killed your mother, Ed?
Norman Bates (Played by Anthony Perkins): Oh, I've killed before. And now I'm going to have to do it again.
"And this is where Anthony Perkins takes the Norman Bates role very seriously. From what I've read, he found out that he was diagnosed with HIV while filming this movie. I bet that made an impact on his performance, I'm sure it made him a lot more serious and sad and probably just emotions I can't even imagine that he was feeling during these scenes and he does a really good performance. Just wait until the end because it gets silly, trust me." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So yeah, Norman Bates is once again rehabilitated and we see him living the good life at his home. He talks about how he killed some other women too besides his mother. So, who was the first woman he killed? Well, it was a girl who just wanted to have sex with him. And then we get our first flashback of the movie. Fun fact: the flashbacks were originally supposed to be shot in black and white to reference the original film. But instead, it's shot in color and Mick Garris has done an amazing job here. Anyway, flashback to young Norman Bates, played by Henry Thomas. Who you might recognize him from E.T. and Cloak and Dagger.
(A picture of Henry Thomas in the movies E.T. and Cloak and Dagger are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) That's right, that's little Elliott from E.T. The Extra Terrestrial. In this movie, he's not little Elliot now, Elliott is a teenager. So, we see young Norman just chilling outside by the motel while some blonde bimbo named Holly, played by Sharen Camille, walks up to him and starts hitting on him.
Holly (Played by Sharen Camille): You look glad to see me.
Young Norman Bates (Played by Henry Thomas): (Smiles a bit) Anyone would be.
Holly: Come on. Let's go watch the fireworks show in the park.
Young Norman Bates: I can't leave the office.
Holly: You know what fascinates me about you? The way you keep to yourself. I bet you're good at keeping your mouth shut about things.
Young Norman Bates: What kind of things?
(Holly looks down at his Payday candy bar, picks it up from off of his book and takes a bite out of it)
"Now, there's a woman that would love to get a taste of his nu…" Sean said before he gets interrupted.
(Right when Sean is about to finish the line, we cut to a clip of the YouTube representative, played by Dave)
Dave: (as YouTube Representative) Nope! You can't say that on YouTube unless you want to be demonetized! (Cackles)
"What the hell?!" Sean asked, throwing his arms up in frustration. "I had one good dirty joke to use for this review but now I can't say it because of the goddamn YouTube standards. Alright, let me think of a kid-friendly joke. Um… maybe she saw the sight of his Payday bar and it made her hungry for it. I mean, all she wants is a Payday. GODDAMN YOU, YOUTUBE! You ruined a perfectly good dirty joke!"
(Holly sees the fireworks up at the sky)
Holly: Do fireworks get you hot?
Young Norman Bates: Not inordinately.
Holly: Inordinately. I love sexy words.
"And apparently she's horny for Norman because fireworks make her horny. Now, that's a woman for me. And she's bangably hot too. She deserves the award for Hottest Chick." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Holly wants to get a good view of the fireworks and asks Norman to take her up to his and into his room for a little bedroom action, but Norman decides to take it into the office, in which she does not approve.
Holly: Where? On the floor? What kind of a girl do you think I am?
Young Norman Bates: There's a parlor in the back.
(One of the motel guests step out of their room)
Motel Guest: Hey, boy! We got a clogged-up toilet in here.
"I can't even drop a deuce in the toilet because there's a bunch of toilet paper in it." Sean said, imitating the motel guest.
Sean: (Narrating) Norman goes to unclog a toilet while Holly waits for him in the parlor, but instead, being the dumb horny blonde bimbo that she is, she decides to head up to the house and look around for a bit before she decides to see what's behind door number one.
(Norman steps out of his mother's room and sees Holly)
Young Norman Bates: What are you doing here? Just what the hell are you doing?
Holly: I was just going to give you a little scare, that's all, scaredy-cat.
Young Norman Bates: Why were you going in my mother's room?
Holly: I thought it was your room. (Shushing) We're gonna wake up your mother.
"We don't want her to hear me screaming loud." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So Norman takes Holly up to his room and immediately, she starts taking her clothes off and giving him a glorious view of her boobies and being an all-around cocktease.
(Holly throws her panties at Norman as he catches them and looks at them)
Holly: Put them down. Well, is it a good smell?
Young Norman Bates: Not inordinately.
(Holly laughs)
Sean: (V/O as Holly) After I'm through with you, big boy, you're gonna be calling me Penis Breath.
(A clip from E.T. The Extra Terrestrial is shown)
Mary (Played by Dee Wallace): Elliott!
Sean: (Narrating) So while Norman is tantalized by touching a woman's naked body, he gets startled by the sound of fireworks and goes to check on his mother.
Mother (Voiced by Alice Hirshon): Get that whore out of my house.
Young Norman Bates: She's not a whore, Mother.
Mother: I said get rid of her. Or do I have to do it myself?
Young Norman Bates: No, Mother, I'll get rid of her.
Mother: Kill her.
Young Norman Bates: Kill her? I can't! No! No, I can't!
Mother: All right, all right. Then I'll do it for you.
"Must I do everything for you, Norman? God, you're useless as your father." Sean said, imitating Mother.
Sean: (Narrating) But Mother whispers something into Norman's ear to convince him to kill Holly as he grabs his Mother's wig and dress and changes into them while Holly enters his mother's bedroom, only to be met with a kitchen knife.
(Holly turns around and sees Norman and screams as he stabs her to death)
Young Norman Bates: Mother. Oh, God, Mother. Blood. Blood!
"Oh, yeah. We gotta throw that line in because he said it in the first movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We then cut back to the present as Norman and Fran continue to talk about his mother. Then, Dr. Richmond questions him about where he was living when he killed his mother. In which, he doesn't answer the question and hangs up the phone and continue his cooking. He ends up cutting his finger and washes the cut and we get a shot of blood going down the drain. Again, first movie did it! Meanwhile, he gets a phone call from his wife Connie, played by Donna Mitchell respectively.
Connie Bates (Played by Donna Mitchell) Guess what I didn't have time to pick up today?
Norman Bates: The cake?
Connie Bates: I'm sorry. Can you do it?
Norman Bates: I can bake one easier.
Connie Bates: Yeah, but you couldn't say on it what I'm saying on it.
Norman Bates: I'm not so good at icing.
Connie Bates: So, will you?
Norman Bates: The bakery will be closed by now.
Connie Bates: Nope, it's in an all-night market.
"Oh, my God. This dumb bitch. So apparently while he was in the mental institution, Norman met this psychologist named Connie and they fell in love with each other and he gets released and they get married. Who in their right mind would marry a psychotic serial killer?! It's like the Joker getting married to Harleen Quinzel after meeting her in Arkham and he goes back to normal." Sean said.
(A clip from Death Race 2 is shown)
Weyland (Played by Ving Rhames): You see that? That's a stupid bitch.
Connie Bates: Are you upset?
Norman Bates: About?
Connie Bates: What we spoke about before? The good news.
Norman Bates: If it's such good news, why would I be upset?
Connie Bates: It'll work out, Norman, you'll see.
"Oh, don't worry. I would spoil the surprise for you, but I'm gonna wait until later on in the film because trust me, it gets stupider." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Norman calls the station again and… (Sees John Landis having a cameo in the movie) Wait a minute, is that John Landis? It is! John Landis is in Psycho IV? What is it a favor for Mick Garris after he had Mick appear as a zombie in the Thriller music video. Let me guess, he's gonna have Mick appear in one of his movies?
(A poster for the 1996 movie The Stupids is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Goddamn it!
"Look, John. I love you but stick with directing movies. Acting in them is not your thing. I'm sure that you have a bad movie in the nineties that you should be working on like Beverly Hills Cop III and Blues Brothers 2000?" Sean asked.
Mike Calveccio (Played by John Landis): Give me a break.
Sean: (Narrating) So Norman calls the station and he continues to talk about his mother and how she drove him to become what he became.
Fran Ambrose: Ed, what we need to know is what she did to you? Did she smother you in some way? The way some of us mother's do with our kids.
Norman Bates: Not inordinately. She just made me feel unsure. I never knew what to expect from her. She'd be sweet one moment, then she'd suddenly turn… mean. She was that way with my father, too. Of course with him she was also, you know, frigid.
Fran Ambrose: You sound very sympathetic, Ed. You must have loved her a lot.
Norman Bates: A boy's best friend is his mother.
"Look, we get it, movie. We fucking get it! Stop trying to reference things from the original movie because it's getting pretty annoying." Sean said.
Fran Ambrose: What about your father? How'd you feel about him?
Norman Bates: He died when I was six.
"Oh, bullshit! Your father died when you was five, not six! Five!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, we get another flashback to Norman's life as we see him as a little boy, played by Ryan Finnegan. We see him and his mother at his father's funeral. What happened to his father? He was stung to death by bees.
"So, Norman Bates' father was Thomas J. from My Girl?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, we get a flashback to his father's funeral and we get a flashback to the happy days with his mother Norma, played by Olivia Hussey, and….
"Oh, my God! Norman Bates' mom is hot a fuck! Whoo! Who would've thought that this lady ended up becoming this woman?" Sean asked as a picture of Norma Bates alive and a corpse is shown.
Fran Ambrose: This is Fran Ambrose on KTK Talk Of The Town, and tonight we're talking with a caller who says he killed his mother.
Norman Bates: Plus her boyfriend with her.
We cut to Sean as we see him sipping on his Shirley Temple, then does a spit take after hearing that Norman killed his mother and her boyfriend.
"Excuse me, what? A boyfriend?! When did she have a boyfriend? I thought he just killed her. And now, there's a boyfriend into the picture. What did he ever do to Norman?" Sean asked.
Fran Ambrose: Did he abuse you, too? Your mother's boyfriend?
Norman Bates: No, but she didn't need him. He didn't make her life any better than it was when all she had was me.
"Momma's boy! MOMMA'S BOY!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) We then get another flashback of Norman in his teen years as we see him running the motel by the time he was 15 and he was practically being the man of the house and taking care of his dear mother. Especially when she was scared at times like being scared of thunder and lightning.
"Maybe she needs Norman to sing the Thunder Buddies song." Sean said.
Norma Bates (Played by Olivia Hussey): Norman, come over here.
(Norman enters Norma's bedroom, his clothes are soaking wet)
Norma Bates: No, not with those wet clothes. Take them off.
"Pardon?" Sean asked.
(Norman takes off his shirt and his jeans. He is left in only his underwear. Norman then gets into his mother's bed)
Norma Bates: Now hold me.
(Norman holds his mother)
"Uh, I guess that this is the intimate part of his relationship with his mother." Sean said.
Norman Bates: (V/O) All of a sudden, that night, I realized that I was, well, I guess you could say I'd gotten a little too big for my britches.
Norma Bates: What's the matter with you?
(Norman gets up from out of his mother's bed and leaves the room)
Norma Bates: Norman? Norman!
"Uhhhhhhhhhh…" Sean said.
Singers: Incest in the morning…
"No, no. Maybe he must've thought of something naughty. Maybe it wasn't just him holding his smoking hot mother in his arms and she gave him an erection." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But when Norma goes to check on her son to find out what's wrong with him, she happens to come across his secret stash of naughty magazines featuring women in lingerie. That pervert!
(Norma is shocked to find a lingerie catalogue in Norman's bedroom)
Norma Bates: (Hits Norman with the magazine) You dirty, little pig! Take that right out to the garbage!
"Aren't you all glad that we have Internet porn now instead of using magazines?" Sean asked. "But that's not porn that Norman has. It was just a friggin' Sears catalogue featuring women in lingerie. Was that kid trying to pull a George Costanza and have a little fun with it by indulging his sick fantasies?"
(Norman grabs his clothes)
Norma Bates: No! Go as you are! Maybe the rain will wash some of the dirt out of your system.
"And sending your son outside in the rain in only his underwear so that way the rain can wash the filth off of him. Jeez, this lady is certifiably nuts." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So yeah, we see that Norman's mother tends to abuse him by teaching him that sex is sinful. Aside from seeing how abusive she is towards Norman, we get a flashback to when Norman peeped into the cabin from the hole that his father made and he watched his mother losing her mind. In other words, she suffers from schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder. We then get another flashback in which it's the hottest summer in history and Norman gives his mother some iced tea with vanilla extract just to cool her off.
Young Norman Bates: (Gives his mother some iced tea) Just the way you like it.
Norma Bates: (Sips her iced tea) I'm gonna die from this heat. You'll wish you'd been nice to me. (Chuckles a bit and grabs a bottle of orange flower water) Blot me with some orange flower water.
(Norman opens the bottle)
Young Norman Bates: What should I use to blot with?
Norma Bates: Your fingers. Unless my skin disgusts you.
"Lady, your skin does not disgust me. Let my fingers do the work on you, if you know what I mean." Sean said with a naughty smirk on his face.
Norma Bates: Do my legs first. Start at the ankles. Find the pulse.
Sean: (Narrating) So Norman starts blotting his mother with some orange flower water by starting with her legs, which gets a little oddly sexual because of her getting friggin' aroused by her son's touch. And then for some reason, they start wrestling on the floor.
(Sexy porno music plays as we see Norman and Norma rolling around on the floor. Norma laughs and Norman laughs)
Singer: Incest in the morning.
(A sound clip from Beavis and Butt-Head plays right when Norman gets an erection, which shocks Norma)
Beavis: Boing!
Butt-Head: He has an erection.
(The record scratches)
Norma Bates: (Pushes Norman off of her) Get off of me. (Hits Norman) You are going to forget once and for all about that filthy thing of yours!
"What? It's not his fault that you gave him a stiffy. You're hot as fuck!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Now, this is where things get silly in the movie and it's Olivia Hussey's acting. What can I say about it? It's so over the top and laughably bad and trust me, you'll see more of her overacting in this movie. So, Norma fucks with her son's head by making him dress up as a girl and put lipstick on him after he got an erection.
Norma Bates: See? Look at yourself, boy. Ha! Girl. Yes, girl. Mama's little girl!
Young Norman Bates: No, not a girl. No. No, Mother, please.
(Norma locks Norman in the closet)
Young Norman Bates: Mother! (Starts banging on the door) Please, Mother. Don't leave me here.
(Norma opens the closet)
Norma Bates: (Hands Norman the pitcher) Here, take this. You're gonna need it. You're gonna stay locked in there until you learn not to say no to your mother when she tells you you're a girl. And you'll probably have to make wee-wee…
We cut back to Sean, who breaks down in laughter. "Okay, it comes to a point where I hear Norma say "wee-wee" and I laugh my ass off. Come on, lady. At least say pee."
Sean: (Narrating) So after that traumatizing flashback, we cut back to the radio station, where Dr. Richmond tells Fran's station manager Mike Calveccio, played by John Landis, and her producer Ellen Stevens, played by Cynthia Garris…
"Great, not only Mick has put John Landis in this movie, but he gotta put his wife in the movie as well?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Dr. Richmond deduces that their caller "Ed" is none other than Norman Bates.
Dr. Leo Richmond: The point is any threat that Norman Bates makes must be taken very seriously.
Ellen Stevens (Played by Cynthia Garris): He said, "And now I'm going to have to kill again."
Fran Ambrose: I better get him to tell us who he intends to kill, huh.
Dr. Leo Richmond: How do you propose to do that?
Fran Ambrose: I don't know. My own style, I suppose.
Mike Calveccio: Which means she'll just ask him flat out.
"And if that doesn't work, she'll just get Vic Makey to interrogate the guy." Sean said, referring to the show The Shield.
Dr. Leo Richmond: Let me go to work on him. I think I ought to know how to reach him. Remember, I was the one who examined him right after he killed that girl in the shower.
"Fu... no, it's Fred! Fred Richmond! Dr. Fred Richmond was the one who examined Norman, not you! Why don't you go have an affair with John Cheever!" Sean yelled out, referencing Warren Frost's character from Seinfeld.
Sean: (Narrating) They continue the show as Dr. Richmond continues to question him but Fran decides to keep Ed on when we get another goddamn flashback and more of his mother's freakouts.
(Norma takes her frustrations out on Norman by hitting him with a newspaper)
Young Norman Bates: What's the matter? What did I do?
Norma Bates: Nothing, nothing, nothing!
Young Norman Bates: Then why are you hitting me?
Norma Bates: Who else can I hit?
"Yeah, what did he do? Why are you hitting him with the newspaper for no reason?" Sean asked. "I mean you gotta have a reason to beat him with a newspaper. Hell, Taylor's mother has a reason to beat me with something."
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
(Sean is sitting in the living room watching Teenage Bounty Hunters on Netflix, until all of a sudden Katie enters the living room and starts beating him with his deluxe Blu-Ray gift set of Batman: The Animated Series The Complete Series)
Sean: Ow! Ow! Ow! What?! Why are you beating me with my own DVD?! What did I do wrong?!
Katie: You told Taylor that your mother's lasagna was better than mine?! (Keeps beating Sean)
Sean: Stop! Careful! You'll end up breaking the disks!
Katie: Good!
Sean: Couldn't you just beat me with the Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain DVD? That show sucked!
Katie: My lasagna is better than your mother's! Let that be a lesson to you!
(Katie continues to beat Sean with his DVD set)
Sean: OW!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) So why is Norma beating Norman with the newspaper for? Well, it's because of Fairvale getting a new freeway, which will be bad for business. And then we get another one of Norma's freakouts.
Norma Bates: You, you're just like my father. Never a drop of sympathy!
Young Norman Bates: I'm sorry.
Norma Bates: Sorry for what? What the hell good are you if you can't show a little sympathy?
We cut to Sean, who makes a look on his face while watching the movie.
Young Norman Bates: Well, I don't know how.
Norma Bates: No, you just know how to cause trouble. Because of you my bladder's damaged. I can't hold my water.
"What the fuck?" Sean mouthed quietly.
Norma Bates: That's why I'm always running to the toilet. Did you know that?
Young Norman Bates: Yes, I know.
Norma Bates: I was fine until I gave birth to you! You caused a lot of damage!
A shocked look appears on Sean's face after he hears what Norma said to her son.
Norma Bates: I should have gotten rid of you the day I found out I was gonna have you! Not one thing you've ever said or done has made all I've gone through with you worthwhile! Not one blessed thing!
Sean continues to watch the scene with a shocked look on his face.
Norma Bates: I should have killed you in my womb. You sure as hell tried to kill me getting out of it.
"Oh, fuck this! I'm killing this bitch myself." Sean said as he pulled out his AMT Hardballer .45 ACP pistol. "Where's my face mask?"
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from Norman getting abused physically and verbally by his mother, at least he's wearing a face mask.
Fran Ambrose: She sounds horrible.
Norman Bates: But it wasn't always like that. You didn't know her. My mother was a remarkable woman.
Dr. Leo Richmond: So remarkable that you murdered her?
"Why do I get the feeling that Dr. Richmond is going to screw this up? And he calls himself a professional. Yeah. Professional, my ass." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) You know what I have noticed? They haven't even mentioned the events of Psycho II and Psycho III. You know, I hate it when a movie ignores continuity. They haven't even mentioned the other murders that happened at the motel. They haven't mentioned Lila Loomis, Warren Toomey, the horny teenage boy, Dr. Bill Raymond, Emma Spool, Red, Patsy? Not going to mention any of them? Well, the real reason why this movie ignores continuity is because screenwriter Joseph Stefano didn't like Psycho II and III. So while he was gearing up for Psycho IV, he decided to ignore the two sequels. Like, for example, that business in Psycho II with Emma Spool being Norman's real mother.
"So in other words, they've decided to pull a Halloween 2018 on our asses. Except, Halloween 2018 is a better film than this movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back at the studio, Fran and Dr. Richmond get into a dispute about Norman and the good doctor's actions and Fran suggests that Dr. Richmond should stay out of this and let her handle it.
Dr. Leo Richmond: Are you asking me to leave?
Fran Ambrose: No, Ellen will make you a cup of coffee, I'll tell the audience…
Dr. Leo Richmond: You're gonna question a psychopathic killer without professional help?
Fran Ambrose: Maybe he's had enough professional help! Maybe he needs somebody unprofessional.
Dr. Leo Richmond: Do you want to be responsible for whatever he does after he hangs up on you? I suggest you trace that call, then contact the authorities.
Mike Calveccio: In the first place, we can't trace calls here. And in the second place, I don't think I like your attitude.
Dr. Leo Richmond: I'm not gonna be a party to this.
Fran Ambrose: Oh, now just a minute.
Dr. Leo Richmond: My way or yours?
Mike Calveccio: Goodbye, Doctor, thank you for letting us plug your book.
"Damn, the doctor got told off by John Landis. You know it's bad when John Landis kicks you out." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Fran decides to try it their way because she wants to hear his story and the audience wants to hear his story too, dammit. So, Dr. Richmond leaves because he doesn't want to be a part of this. And it's a good thing too because he was trying to push Norman's buttons. So, Fran continues to talk to Norman and you know it's getting late and his wife will be getting home. And she asks him where did he meet his wife.
Norman Bates: At the institution.
Fran Ambrose: Sounds romantic. She was a patient too?
Norman Bates: She works there. She's a psychologist. One of the very best. I knew it the moment I met her. I said, "You're gonna bring peace to a lot of tormented souls." And I wasn't just coming on to her. She liked me for that.
Fran Ambrose: So you fell in love with her at first sight?
Norman Bates: She says she did. It took me a couple of more sights.
"Ah, the Joker and Harleen Quinzel of this movie. Except, that bitch was dumb enough to marry him." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) They continue on with the topic and we get another damn flashback to when Norman found out that his mother brought a man home with him. And being the little peeping tom that he is, Norman decides to look through the little hole and spy on him while he's taking a shower.
(Norman looks through the hole in the cabin and sees the man taking a shower)
"Okay, let's be glad that the man that Norma brought with her wasn't Uncle Frank, because this is what would've happened if Norman was spying on them."
(Norman is peeping through the hole and we hear Uncle Frank singing "Cool Jerk", then a clip from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York plays)
Uncle Frank: Get out of here, you nosy little pervert, or I'm gonna slap you silly!
(Norman puts the picture up on the wall while Uncle Frank continues to sing)
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, the only good thing we get to see in this movie is Olivia Hussey naked.
(We see Norma, who's naked. Her breasts are covered by Norman's head as a censor bar. We see that Norma is about to make love to her boyfriend while a sound clip from Animaniacs plays)
Yakko and Wakko: Hellooooooooooooooo, Nurse!
"Ah, Olivia Hussey. You know that brings me back seeing Olivia Hussey's cleavage in Romeo & Juliet back in my 9th grade English class. Oh, man! That was a formative moment for my manhood right there. I tell you..." Sean said.
"Uh, dude." Brian said.
"What?" Sean asked.
"Olivia Hussey was 16 at the time when she made that movie." Brian said.
"She was 16 when she made that movie?!" Sean asked before turning to the camera. "Excuse me."
Sean immediately gets up from off of the couch and runs to the bathroom before we hear him throwing up.
"Why do I even bother?" Brian asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, God. Why? The next morning, Norman enters the kitchen only to find his mother being cheerful and fixing breakfast. But Norman stays quiet when she realizes that Norman was spying on her and her boyfriend doing the devil's tango.
Young Norman Bates: What are you talking about?
Norma Bates: You were at the window when we drove up. You saw me and Chet, didn't you?
Young Norman Bates: Chet?
Norma Bates: Chet Rudolph.
"Wouldn't he be related to Shay Rudolph, by any chance?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Norma then announces to Norman that her and Chet are going to get married but as soon as he gets his divorce. Norman isn't happy about this and the fact that he's going to work at the motel and will be living under same roof as him. And speaking of living under the same roof, we meet Norma's boyfriend Chet Rudolph, played by Tom Schuster, and he gets to meet Norman.
Chet Rudolph (Played by Tom Schuster): Hi there, Normie.
Young Norman Bates: You take my father's robe off.
(Chet keeps the robe on and chuckles)
Chet Rudolph: No underwear. You see, Norman, you only wanna be naked around a lady when you're having sex with her. Any other time, it just ain't respectful. (Chuckles) Good toast.
(Norman glares evily at Chet)
"Norman demands that you stop eating his toast, Chet." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) With Chet living with Norman and his mother, this gives the two of them time to get to know each other and bond with one another. Besides, he is going to be Norman's new daddy. And what better way to bond with your girlfriend's son is by teaching him how to box.
(Chet boxes with Norman. Norman just stands there and does nothing)
Chet Rudolph: Oh, come on, Norman!
(Chet hits Norman's arm. Norman turns to him and hits him back. Chet chuckles and hits Norman in his chest)
Chet Rudolph: I'm sorry. I guess sometimes I just don't know my own strength. Now you come on and get me back, all right. Come on. Get even. Come on.
"Come on, Norman. Punch his lights out. He's screwing your mother, wore your father's robe, ate your toast and he's living in your house. Kick his ass!" Sean exclaimed. "What do you expect him to talk shit about you?"
Chet Rudolph: You're not a girl, are you? (Chuckles) You know your momma swore to me you was a boy. (Laughs) And she said you wasn't too badly hung, either. (Laughs) That's what she said! (Continues to laugh)
Young Norman Bates: Shut up!
(Norman takes a swing at Chet, but misses when Chet dodges the punch. Chet then punches Norman in his stomach and punches him in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Norma looks down at her son while a sound clip from Friday plays)
Smokey: You got knocked the fuck out, man!
"Damn, Chet won this match. So much for me getting that Playstation 5. Let me call Lucas and give him his money, he won that bet." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We then cut back to the present, where we see Norman ripping an apple in half with his bare hands because of that memory. Fun fact: that scene was improvised by Anthony Perkins because in the script, Norman was supposed to take a butcher knife and slam it into the apple, but Perkins felt that it was too corny. Anyway, during the commercial break, Ellen tells Fran that she called the police in Fairvale and the response that they told her right after she asked about Norman Bates was privileged information. But the commercial break is over when Norman calls again.
Fran Ambrose: Look, about this business of having to kill again, is your mother making you do it?
Norman Bates: My mother has nothing to do with this. Not directly. But she always has had and always will have a strong effect on my behavior. After all, I have her seed in me. After the last murder four years ago, um, murders, plural, I wanted either to be executed or locked away for life so I'd never hurt anybody again. I wanted to protect the world from this aging bad seed known as Norman Bates. So instead they sent me to a place a lot like Sidonia. The same rough therapy. The same phased re-entry into society.
"The same treatment that Alex from A Clockwork Orange has been getting." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Fran then asks why is he going to ruin this great new life of his and is it worth losing everything. Norman then mentioned another murder that he committed, which was an older woman. And then we get another flashback…
"Oh, my God. This movie and it's flashbacks. It's giving me a headache." Sean said while rubbing his temples.
Sean: (Narrating) We see Norman in the car making out with an older woman named Gloria, played by Bobbi Evors.
Gloria (Played by Bobbi Evors): (After kissing Norman) Baby, you got a tongue like an elephant's memory. (Norman tries to kiss Gloria again, but she stops him) No. Wait. (Panting) Let me catch my breath, okay?
"Come on, I'm just getting started. I want a piece of that sweet cougar booty." Sean said as he imitates Young Norman Bates.
Sean: (Narrating) But before he could get some action, Norman realizes that he forgot to give his mother her 2:00 medication. So, he leaves the car so he could give his mother her medication but he gets yelled at by Mother for bringing a woman over. So while Gloria is getting ready for Norman, this happens.
(Norman, dressed as Mother, enters the back of the car and wraps a rope around Gloria's neck, strangling her.)
Young Norman Bates: (In Mother's voice) Drive, whore!
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Norman kills Gloria and gets ready to put her in the trunk and…
(Gloria gasps for air as Norman sees that she's still alive and she starts screaming)
"Norman, a little lesson on killing people: you gotta make sure that they're dead." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, Norman kills her and he makes sure that she's dead. So, he throws her body in the trunk of the car and dumps it in the car while she start banging and screaming in the trunk of the car while it's going into the swamp. Seriously, that bitch is still not dead?! Well, at least she'll die drowning in the back of the car. Again, make sure that they're dead, you fuckin' idiot! So anyway, Norman tells Fran about how he took his mother's body from out of the coffin and taking her wig and stuffing her body because he's into taxidermy. And then we get the shocking reveal to know why Norman wants to kill his wife.
Norman Bates: She deserves to die.
Fran Ambrose: You mean, you're gonna kill your wife? (Puts Norman on hold) Call that newspaper. Tell them it's a matter of life and death. Norman. Norman, why? You said she deserved to die. How? What did she do that she should pay for it with her life?
Norman Bates: She let herself get pregnant!
(Thunder rumbling)
"Oh, God." Sean said as he makes a facepalm in frustration and slightly sighs.
Norman Bates: I thought I'd convinced her what a mistake it would be for us to have a child. Long before we got married, I said to her, "No kids, Connie. I've killed damn near a dozen human beings, I may be well now but I'm not cured. I'll never be cured. I'm still who I always was. My genes are the same ones I got from my mother. I'm still her flesh and blood." I said, "Let the Bates line end with me." And finally she said okay.
Fran Ambrose: Couldn't she have gotten pregnant by accident?
Norman Bates: When she called me she'd just heard from the doctor. She said she hadn't told me she'd gone off the pill because she didn't want me to stop making love to her. That's how we always thought about it, as making love. But it wasn't supposed to bring forth another monster.
"There it is, folks. The shocking reason why Norman wants to kill his wife. It's because he got her pregnant." Sean said before raging a bit. "THAT'S THE DUMBEST EXCUSE THAT I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY FUCKING LIFE! So what if she got pregnant by you? It's no reason to kill her and your unborn child because your child will have your genes and your mother's. And seriously, you thought it was just all about making love. What the fu... what the fuck did you expect? Of course she'll end up pregnant. A child is a life! It can't be activated or deactivated simply. I wonder what happened when the two of them were in the bedroom.
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
(We see Sean and Taylor in their bedroom. Sean is only in his Batman boxers while Taylor is laying in bed in only a sexy Victoria's Secret satin floral cami lingerie set)
Sean: (as Norman) Connie, I know that we're married and all and we're about to make love and all that good stuff that I've never thought of doing before, but now I'm doing it. It's great. I think I'm all better. Just one thing, just one thing: I don't want any kids. Because I'm afraid that the mental illness that I got from my mother will be passed down to our child. That's my one stipulation.
Taylor: (as Connie) Norman, don't worry. I'm on the pill. I'm sure that I won't get pregnant. So, why don't you climb into bed and take me, big man.
Sean: Oh, I love you. Let's do this thing.
(Sean climbs into bed with Taylor and makes love to her. We then see a text that reads "Two Weeks Later" on the screen before we cut to Sean, who's busy playing Star Wars Squadrons on his Playstation 4. His phone rings as he pauses the game and answers it)
Sean: Hello?
Taylor: (on the phone) Hi, Norman.
Sean: Connie, hi. What's up?
Taylor: Well, I saw Dr. Otto this morning and I have some news to tell you.
Sean: What is it?
Taylor: Remember when I said that I was on the pill?
Sean: Yeah?
Taylor: Well, turns out that I was off the pill. Norman, I'm pregnant.
(A shocked look appears on Sean's face and the "Psycho Theme" plays in the background)
Sean: (Puts his hand on his face) Oh, no. It's starting again.
(The castle thunder sound effect plays in the background as well)
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) Fran tries to talk Norman out of killing his wife and unborn child but Norman's mind has made up and he's gonna do it with his own hands just like the first time he killed. And then we get another flashback and I hope that's the last flashback, to when Norman killed his mother and her boyfriend as we see him preparing something to drink for the two of them while they're busy screwing each other's brains out upstairs. And Norman has prepared a specialty drink for them, iced tea with vanilla and with a secret recipe... strychnine! So Chet drinks some iced tea and now it's Norma's turn to drink while Norman is peeping through the doorway to see her drink it and she does. And the results…
(A loud noise is heard coming from the bathroom as Norma turns around and sees Chet stepping out of the bathroom and he begins to vomit and collapse to the floor)
Norma Bates: What is it? What's happening? Chet?
Chet Rudolph: No! (Knocks the glass out of Norma's hand) He's poisoned us.
(Norma starts to feel the effects from strychnine as her and Chet both start gagging while Norman watches)
"Hmm, strychnine poisoning in humans." Sean said he picks up his phone and starts reading about it. "Ten to twenty minutes after exposure, the body's muscles begin to spasm, starting with the head and neck in the form of trismus and risus sardonicus. The spasms then spread to every muscle in the body, with nearly continuous convulsions, and get worse at the slightest stimulus. Also, the convulsions process increases in intensity and frequency until the backbone arches continually and convulsions lead to lactic acidosis, hyperthermia and rhabdomyolysis, followed by postictal depression and the subject usually dies within 2-3 hours after exposure. Well, let's see how long these two die, shall we."
(Norma turns and sees Norman)
Norma Bates: You dirty little bastard! You're dead! You hear me! You're dead! You're dead!
(Chet charges at Norman and attacks him)
Norma Bates: Kill him. Kill the little bastard!
(Norman knocks Chet off of him. Chet falls down the stairs. Norma shrieks)
"Jesus! Who does this lady think she is Sindel from Mortal Kombat?" Sean asked. "And yet, she's still alive?!"
Sean: (Narrating) So yeah, Norma and Chet finally die, thank God. And Norman drags Norma's body down into the basement and... (Sees that Norma is still alive) SON OF A BITCH! REALLY?!
"Dude, she'll end up dying within 2-3 hours after being exposed to strychnine." Brian said.
"Well, the bitch is taking too damn long to die!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) So, Norma finally dies after being exposed to strychnine. Thank you, Norman. And…
(Chet comes up behind Norman and tries to strangle him)
Sean: (Narrating and yells) GODDAMN IT!
"DOESN'T ANYBODY STAY DEAD IN THIS MOVIE?!" Sean asked.
(Chet finally dies and Norman pushes him off)
"Is he dead? No, really? Is that guy dead? Are they both dead?" Sean asked.
"They're dead." Brian said.
"Finally!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) So after that final flashback, Norman finally ends the call with Fran and he calls up his dear wife Connie and he asks her to meet her up at his mother's house so he can murder her and his unborn child.
(Connie sees Norman holding a butcher knife. Norman gets ready to kill Connie but he couldn't. Connie runs off as Norman opens his eyes and sees that she ran out of the room)
Norman Bates: (Yells) Connie!
Sean starts laughing a bit.
"Oh, my God! You could see some of Perkins' hammy acting in reminiscent to Psycho II and III. It's so hilarious. I mean, when he gets goofy like this, it's hilarious." Sean laughs. "I mean, he was like..."
Sean: (V/O as Norman) She loves me, I love her. Wait a minute, that bitch took off!
Norman Bates: Connie!
Sean: (Narrating) So, Norman goes after Connie and he gets ready to kill her.
Connie Bates: Look at yourself.
(Norman looks at the reflection of himself on the knife)
Connie Bates: That's not who you are anymore. You're not that person now, Norman. You're not a killer, Norman.
(A clip from Return of the Jedi is shown)
Luke Skywalker (Played by Mark Hamill): I feel the good in you. The conflict.
Darth Vader (Played by David Prowse and voiced by James Earl Jones): There is no conflict.
Connie Bates: Our baby won't be a monster. Don't I count? I've never destroyed a child's sanity. I've never taken anyone's life. I love you, our baby will love you. Give us a chance. (Cries) No more blood, Norman. Please. No more blood.
(Norman drops the knife and hugs Connie)
Sean: (Narrating) Norman doesn't kill Connie and he gets ready to get rid of the past by burning down the house.
"I know that there's a "The Roof Is On Fire" joke for me to put in somewhere." Sean said.
(The song "The Roof Is On Fire" by 2 Live Crew plays while we see Norman setting the house on fire)
(Norman leaves the room and comes across ghosts from his pasts, like his mother)
Norma Bates: I should have killed you in my womb!
Chet Rudolph: What's the matter, Norman? You're not a girl, are you?
Holly: I'm not embarrassing you, am I?
Sean: (Narrating) So Norman runs into a few ghosts from his past and tries to leave the burning house, but ends up trapped inside, which means that he'll die with the past, but eventually Norman gets out alive. Therefore, happy ending! The Bates' house is burned down and Norman is free from his past, which means that he'll live his life happily with his wife and child. And the movie ends with the shot of Mother's chair rocking chair still rocking.
(The wooden doors of the house cellar close on the rocking chair that continues to rock)
Mother: Let me out of here! Norman! You hear me, boy? Let me out!
(The film fades to black and we hear the sound of a baby crying)
"And that was Psycho IV: The Beginning and what a way to end the Psycho film franchise." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie are shown once more)
Sean: (Narrating) Now, I love the idea of the movie being both a prequel and a sequel. I loved the plot but the movie feels like two movies in one. Why not make one or the other? Just stick with one. They could've made it into a prequel about it leading up to the events of the first movie, that would've made a great prequel. Also, it's just Norman taking on the phone the whole time. And let's talk about the ending to the movie, I feel that the ending was weak. Anyway, on the plus side, the cast gives a solid performance. Anthony Perkins gives a solid performance as Norman Bates as always, Olivia Hussesy does a great job at playing Norma Bates, even though she tends to get silly at times and Henry Thomas does a good job at playing young Norman Bates and does a good job at playing somebody who doesn't show any emotion. Psycho IV: The Beginning is an okay film. Coming in at two poisoned iced teas out of five.
"And if you all are still asking me to review the Psycho remake, let me tell you what I think of it… IT SUCKS ASS!" Sean yelled out. "I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and tune in next time when I take a look at a classic 80s zombie movie, which I can put it in one word… brains."
Mayhem Critic Tagline- Oh, I've killed before. And now I'm going to have to do it again.
And that's all for the review of Psycho IV: The Beginning for The Mayhem Critic's Halloween Havoc III and yes, I am finished reviewing the Psycho sequels and I'm still not reviewing the Psycho remake that stars Vince Vaughn because I hated it. Which Psycho sequel review for The Mayhem Critic that you liked? Next time on The Mayhem Critic, Halloween Havoc III continues as Sean talks about the 1985 cult horror comedy The Return of the Living Dead and talks about how the movie left it's mark on all zombie movies after. As well as treating us to Linnea Quigley dancing naked in a cemetery. If anyone wants to join in on this review, maybe I could make it a co-review. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Aside from working on Halloween Havoc III for The Mayhem Critic, I will be working on something for Up All Knight and the celebration for Up All Knight will be either King-O-Ween, Craven-O-Ween or Carpenter-O-Ween. Here's the list of movies for those two:
King-O-Ween: Three films based on books by Stephen King.
The Shining
Firestarter
Misery
Carpenter-O-Ween: Three films directed by John Carpenter.
Halloween
The Thing
Prince of Darkness
Craven-O-Ween: Three films directed by Wes Craven
A Nightmare On Elm Street
Shocker
Scream
Which one should I work on for Up All Knight? Let me know in the comments. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.