I couldn't sleep at all from worrying , worrying about how I'd cope , how I'd manage it, I mean I always wanted children but not in these circumstances. I can't and will not put a child through what I've been through.I've just been sat a the computer researching clinics, am I a horrible person I mean what kind of women doesn't want her unborn baby just because of who the dad is? Am I meant to be greatful for this baby and see it as the light at the end of the tunnel? I don't even know what to think anymore I mean Michelle was 16 and faced with the prospect of raising her bestfriends dads baby and at 25 I can't even imagine raising my ex husbands.though I suppose she always was slightly more mature than me.

I was broken from my thoughts when I heard the front door slam open , that'll be mum home.

"Mum?." I shouted.

"Oh Sharon sweetheart, just who I wanted to see." "you okay?."

"It's not me I'm worried about right now " "I've not seen you like this in ages."

"Well you don't find out your daughters pregnant and doesn't know if she even wants your grandchild everyday."

That was it that's what she really thought , that I was being cold hearted and unreasonable. My face drop must of showed what I thought about her comment.

"Oh shal I didn't mean it like that darlin."

"No but you did , drink speaks the truth remember , that's really what you think of me that I'm being heartless , but you don't know the half of what I went through when I was with grant and I'm not speaking about the violence. I could just about Handle that. But the mental.it was awful and I can't go through that again I don't know if I'd survive a second time , and it's not the baby it's the fact the baby's his and I know for a fact if he overheard Michelle and Pauline talking about it he'd be on the first plane to hunt me down and to see his son or daughter." " and do I really blame him not really no , but the fact is I wouldn't be able to face him I just wouldn't , so please can you just support me in my decision."I sobbed

"Oh Sharon I'm sorry , I really didn't mean it like that , I'm the selfish one not you , but your the best thing that came out my marriage to your dad , so I didn't understand what the problem was if I good thing can come out of a bad situation then why not take it but I get it , it's okay."

As I stood almost frozen in time, crying in a sort of daze not really taking anything she was saying in.

"Come her Shal come here"

As I made my way over to her,i hugged her it was longer than most of our embraces but it was aslong as we both needed.

"You see mum this isn't about me and grant , it's not about not wanting the baby it's about needing to protect my baby and myself from the clutches of his control and I don't know if I'm srong enough to the point if he ever came looking that I'd be able to stop him from doing anything" "to either of us. Even to you the Mitchell's their unhinged , they don't care who they hurt aslong as they get what they want."

"Okay darling , I know I know , try and get some sleep yeah we'll speak properly in the morning and whatever you decide I'll be here every step of the way."

"Thankyou" I then kissed her on the cheek and made my way to bed to hopefully get some much needed sleep after I've got that of my chest.