A few hours later:
I'd got the antibiotics but i hadn't been able to eat/drink for the whole afternoon , you know when you think about what you've done to much and reality hits to the point you feel physically sick that's how I'd felt the whole afternoon.
I knew mum was worried just by the way she was looking at me , but I couldn't help but think why should I get to live and enjoy my life after what I'd just done to an innocent life , a life that was nothing like Grant but then the thought of looking at my baby and seeing grant was to much to bare. I'm half relief and half confused over wether I did make the correct decision, all I am sure of is the fact the Mitchell's can never find out I mean could you imagine Peggy she'd have a few words to say maybe a slap but that's nothing compared to Grant he'd probably kill me.
"Shal darling are you okay?, I've made you a cup of tea"
"I'm fine no amount of you asking would change anything even if I wasn't!" "and thanks for the offer but I'd prefer a gin"
"Your on antibiotics, have you taken one yet?"
"No... I can't "
"You'll make yourself Ill Sharon."
"And what do you care , why would I take advice of you anyway I mean your not exactly a saint when it comes to drink are you?.."
"One Sharon I care because I'm your mother and no matter what you have or haven't done I'll never stop caring and two no I'm not but take it from someone who knows it doesn't solve anything , you just wake up with a banging head and regret well until the next time you do it."
"Well we'll see about that. I'm off out."
I hear he shouting my name as I storm out but to be honest it's like white noise I need to get out of there I can't cope with it I feel like I'm suffocating, you know that feeling when you feel like you can't breathe and just need air because I've been feeling it none stop for the last two days.
Later on in the pub I'm a few gins down and I feel the best I've felt all day , like the old Sharon before the Mitchell's came and complicated everything.
Somehow I ended up in a club dancing on tables and flirting with any man I came across if mum could see me she'd be so angry with me but I don't care it's nothing worse than she's ever done.
It was 6am when I got back, I walked in to see mum sat on the settee with the tv on not really into it more just daydreaming whilst staring at it.
"Oh shal where did you get to darlin , I've been so worried."
"Oh worried was you ange , you shouldn't of been I've had the night of my life."
"Look at the state of you."
"Look at the state of me? , I've had to see you in this state from being about 7 so if I'm a state at least you know how it feels."I scoff.
"Oh you know what Sharon I'm off to bed now I know your safe I'm not arguing with you at this time , and if I was you I'd do the same and if your heads not to sore in the morning maybe think about your actions and grow up."
"Grow up? Grow up? I've been just as about grown up as you if not more grown up since I was sixteen you don't get to tell me to grow up."
"Whatever shal , alot has happened and your drunk so I'm not taking any of this to heart." She says as she walks of to bed.
I'm not far behind her and thanks to all the vodka and lemonades plus the gin and tonics I'm asleep in minutes who knew it was this simple to sleep no wonder mum used to do it so much.