After mine and mums morning conversation, I was trying to make myself some dinner when all of a sudden I got a stomach cramp so sharp I actually keeled over for a couple of seconds. Luckily for me mum wasn't in as if she'd have seen I wouldn't of heard the end of it. There's telling your mum things then there's her wanting to know every single detail , I will tell her but I'll tell her when the times right and she has to respect that.

I promised mum I'd start taking my antibiotics but the truth is if binned them during my drunken rage last night without even thinking she was yet to find them in the bin though thank god. But my head was still such a mess asking myself questions like , do I even deserve to have more children I mean I've always wanted them and all I've always wanted even more is to make a good job of it which is yet another reason why I couldn't have one with Grant.

I poured myself a glass of white wine and went to sit down just as mum came back from shopping.

"You okay darling, should you drink that if you've taken your antibiotic."

"It's only one glass mum it'll be fine, don't pretend you've never done it."

"You've got me there love , make sure it's only one though yeah."

"Yeah."

Mum had packed the shopping away and was making some dinner she was still yet to find the pills in the bin though , that's how you know she doesn't look properly at what she's doing I laughed as I thought to myself.

"Mum just make enough for you yeah I'm not really hungry , I feel abit sick so I'll make something later."

"Okay darlin , do you want me to do anything?."

"No I think I'm going to have a lie down."

"Okay then you do that , love you."

"Love you too." I smiled.

Just as I got into my room I got another one of them sharp pains in my stomach. I did think it could be because I'm still bleeding after the abortion so I changed into a more comfortable shirt and slipped into my bed the silk sheets that i insisted on buying helped me comfort wise.

By the time I woke it was around 8pm so I got up and put some clothes on to go on a walk by this point mum was in her room chilling out with a book as she always did before bed well that and a glass of gin.

Around half an hour later I ended up wondering into a pub I went abit dizzy as I walked in but nothing too severe.

"Glass of white please." I said to the bartender

"Thankyou, how much is that?" I asked as he passed it to me."

"4 dollars please."

"There you go keep the change thankyou again."

Another hour passed and I was a few glasses down laughing and joking when suddenly I got another one of them sharp stomach pains this time like it had in the kitchen earlier it made me keel over.

"Are you okay?." A man who was stood with his wife or girlfriend I don't know said.

But before I could even reply my head spun and it all went black.

"Someone phone an ambulance."

A few minutes later,I woke up in a daze so confused.The same man was in my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine I'm fine , I must've just passed out."

"Okay well just stay there we've phoned an ambulance."

I won't lie it all felt abit drastic I mean I'd only passed out what's the worse it could be it's probably just through the blood loss , I sometimes used to have dizzy spells durning my periods because of the heaviness.

"Ow" I groaned as I tried to sit up

"Just stay there what's your name?." A paramedic asked me.

"Sharon it's Sharon." I said as my head spun again.

"Right Sharon we need to take you to the hospital as a precaution as we've been called, is that okay."

"Yeah it's fine it's fine."

In the back of the ambulance I was being asked questions I really didn't feel like answering.

"Has anything happened lately , or are you on a heavy period or anything?." A female paramedic asked

"Erm no not a period as such , but I did have an abortion last week , so I'm still bleeding from that." I say in an ashamed way

" oh... okay , and have you been taking antibiotics after that?.

"No well I'm meant to but I've been drinking so they wouldn't of worked anyway , and last night I binned them in a drunken rage after an argument with my mum my heads just been such a mess."

"Okay well I get that." She says in a nice way but to be honest it just seems patronising at the minute.

"Do you think that could be the reason?"

" I don't know until we get to the hospital and run some blood tests and do a scan but it is a possibility yeah."

"Oh... ok"

What have I done , what does that mean , will I even be able to have children if I have I mean I was warned about the risks but I've not even been thinking , if something does happen it'll be all my fault won't it.