A/N: The last chapter before regular posting, I hope you enjoy it!

TW: Siezure

Chapter 3

Vulnerability

Hogwarts Castle

August 2, 2000

The grounds of Hogwarts were fresh and green; the sun was delightfully warm, and it felt like the perfect day as we approached the cottage. It was a charming building with a round tower attached to it. The stone was scrubbed clean, and it looked like the plaster had been freshly whitewashed. The door was a beautiful purple and looked to be freshly painted as well. There was a short set of stone stairs which looked to also be newly cleaned.

Entering the cottage, I could smell the faint scent of lemons and fresh pain. Diamond-paned windows and wooden floors gleamed. Glancing around, I saw a stone hearth swept of any ash, a thick wooden mantlepiece, and nothing else. The walls were newly plastered, and the beams gleamed as brightly as the floors. The row of house elves standing in the middle of the space looked up at me eagerly, I grinned.

"This looks fantastic, thank you so very much. I hadn't expected such a beautiful space."

"Profser must look in bedroom." The elf pointed to the wooden door that was cracked open. Entering the room, I found a second fireplace and a similar-looking room to the first if not a little smaller. There were two doors; one led to a walk-in closet, the other to a sumptuous bathroom. From the brick and new style of the bathroom, I assumed it had been a recent add-on. Going back to the main room, I noticed a back door that led out into a charming lawn, and garden area. As I came back to Hobbs cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Now that ye be seein' da cottage, what be you wishful of doing with it?" I tapped my chin, thinking. The next half hour was spent drawing up a plan for the different rooms. The elves pushed me out of the cottage, insisting I take a walk while they made the place livable. I took their advice and walked for a little while, then tiring, I found a patch of grass and decided to sit by the side of the lake. I conjured a blanket and several cushions, then pulled out Romancing Mr. Bridgerton.

"Excuse me, Astrea," Someone was gently shaking me, I groaned and opened my eyes. At some point, I had fallen asleep, my head pillowed on my arms, and the book lay page up less than an inch away from my face. I sat up groggily, looking around; I noted the sun had moved, and then I realized Severus knelt next to me. Immediately, I flushed; my robes were askew, and my hair was an unruly mass of auburn curl. Then I felt a seizure come, it had been a couple of weeks since my last so I had been expecting one at any time.

"Seizure." I croaked out before my body went limp, and I could only dimly sense what was going on. It was a shorter one; my healer called it an atonic seizure. I had different types, but this one was the easiest, though it left me tired and with a headache. Coming back, I found arms holding me upright and slightly forward. A voice was murmuring what sounded like the steps to a potion recipe.

"Thank you." I heard myself whisper, things still felt a bit distant, and I realized I was dizzy.

"You're welcome, should I let you go." I shook my head which was a bad idea, my hand came up and latched onto one of the large hands holding me up.

"No, dizzy, still coming, coming, out of it." After a moment, Severus spoke.

"I have a general healing potion, can you take it?" My brain worked sluggishly so it took me a bit to think through it.

"Yes, should help." My eyes were closed since it lessened the dizziness, I felt Severus shift and then heard the faint pop of a cork. Then I felt cool glass touch my lips, opening my mouth, he helped tip my head back. I swallowed slowly, the faintly bitter taste seemed to perk me up, and soon, the dizziness faded. I still felt weak and didn't try to move away from the loose hold I was in. I did, however, look up at Severus. Now that the dizziness was over, I experienced the usual wash of fear, helplessness, and then gratitude for his unexpected help. I had been diagnosed with epilepsy as a child, but the mix of fear and helplessness was a constant despite my acceptance of my situation.

"Thank you." This time, he slightly smiled, and it was a soft, wonderful thing to see.

"You are welcome; I apologize if I caused this." I attempted a small smile.

"You didn't; I've been expecting one for a couple of days, I'm surprised it didn't happen yesterday." My voice caught, and I cleared my throat, not wanting to think about the funeral.

"I did not know you could feel them coming on, though I admit I am uneducated about epilepsy."

"It's fine. Usually, if no one were here, I'd try to lay on my side, but it's better to have a person helping me just in case." I realized how close he was to me as I spoke, why was I so attracted to this man, I had known him for less than a day. Now that all my faculties were coming back, I started noticing a distinct scent; it was earthy, and there was a hint of amber and spice. Turning my head as I followed the scent, my sluggish brain realized it was wafting off of Severus. I didn't realize how close we were; I looked up into his eyes, and his usually unreadable expression held concern.

"You have the loveliest eyes." I realized I had spoken aloud, hopefully softly enough he hadn't heard.

"Would you care to try and stand?" He asked, his voice a deep murmur.

"Erm, yes, but please, don't let go." My voice broke a little at the last bit, again that small smile that utterly changed his dower expression.

"I promise I won't let go until you ask me to." My breath caught, but I was too busy trying to get my legs underneath me to process what those words did to my still-jumbled-up insides. Once I was on my feet and felt somewhat stable, I decided to see if I could take a step, which was a bad idea as my body decided not to work properly. Frustrated, I started to swear under my breath, this last episode must have been longer than I had realized. I found my body tended to be more sluggish, and my fine motor skills took a bit longer to reboot.

"I'm sorry, I thought I was ready if you need to attend to something, I'll just sit here for a bit until my body's ready to move properly." I felt a little awkward now; I was mostly being held up by him I was surprised he wasn't tired by now.

"It would be the height of rudeness to leave you like this, would you allow me to carry you to the castle or somewhere else?" I couldn't help myself and chuckled.

"I'm taking over the old gamekeeper's cottage, and if you want to levitate me there, that might be easier." Severus snorted.

"I levitate recalcitrant students, Astrea, please allow me to help you." I nodded and lifted my arm, taking that as agreement he picked me up in his arms. His chest was broad, and it was very tempting to lay my head on it, I had never been carried like this. The few times I had joked about doing so, my boyfriends at the time had joked back about me breaking their backs.

"Are you sure about carrying me, I don't want to hurt you," I mumbled the last but looking up I could tell he heard.

"You aren't hurting me, Astrea, I've handled cauldrons much heavier." I felt tears prickle at my eyes, and my throat tightened at the answer.

"Thank you." He gave me another small smile.

"You are once again welcome; you do not need to keep thanking me, it is what any decent person would do." His tone was brusk, but I heard the undertone of warmth. The sun was sinking behind the sharp pines and glimmering on the lake by the time we reached the cottage. The elves must have anticipated us as the door was slightly ajar, Severus gently kicked it further open with his black booted foot. When I caught my first glimpse of the cottage fully furnished and put together, I felt tears come to my eyes. Severus sat me gently on one end of the dark green sectional, touching the fabric, I found it felt like cashmere. The loveseat, wing-backed chair, and ottoman looked similarly plush. When the elves asked me what I would want, I had given my pipe dream version, thinking they wouldn't come close, but they had matched it exactly. The aesthetic was that of a country cottage mixed with modern comforts, and I loved it. I also couldn't believe it was mine and had a hard time believing that it was mine and that I could deserve it.

"I, I didn't expect this." My voice came out broken; I desperately needed to stifle my emotions, I didn't want to make Severus uncomfortable. Hovering next to me, he frowned and looked around, taking in the small kitchen, the wall-to-wall bookcases with a deep, comfy-looking window seat.

"Is this not what you asked for?" His frown produced a crease between his eyebrows; my fingers itched to smooth it out, but I resisted it.

"Oh yes, it's just this is too much, I don't, I didn't think." I pressed a hand to my mouth in hopes of stopping the tears that were building up.

"I do not understand?" His confusion left when he met my eyes; he cleared his throat. I took in a deep breath, feeling acutely embarrassed and vulnerable, I ruthlessly thrust my emotions back, doing my best to meet his eyes.

"Are you well?" My smile was brittle, but it stayed as I spoke.

"I'll be fine, thank you for your help, I should be good from here, I've inconvenienced you long enough." I tried to prevent my tone from being clipped, but I saw a minute expression of hurt; it was gone, and his cold mask was back. I cursed my emotions, insecurities, and the whole situation.

"Very well then, I will leave you." His tone was frosty, words precise and clipped. He turned and started to stride away; I had to fix this. Taking the little amount of courage I had, I stood and wobbled towards him.

"Severus, wait." I tried to catch his sleeve and stumbled, "fuck me, Merlin be damned, fucking lack of coordination." I stumbled again and was headed for the floor when Severus caught me, again, I swore an oath and then intentionally met his eyes.

"I'm sorry. You helped me so much, and I shut you out, please, if you can forgive me, would you allow me to explain?" The frigid expression warmed a tiny bit. He helped me back to the couch and then sat next to me when I padded the spot next to me. I clumsily turned towards him once he sat and took a deep breath.

"Again, I apologize, you've been nothing but sweet and patient with me, and I acted like a bitch." A snort, "I don't know you all that well, and coming in here to see all of this was, is, overwhelming. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with my emotions, especially when you barely know me. I don't want you to think I'm weak; it's just been one hell of a summer for me." I played with the hem of my robe, darting glances up at him, feeling trepidation at what he would say.

"I am unused to having someone taking consideration for my comfort." His tone was less icy but the words were still clipped, almost painfully precise. The pause was so long that I felt a growing worry, and then he spoke, "I indeed do not know you well. However, your aunt speaks of you quite often and in detail. Due to that, I do not consider you a stranger. I am unfamiliar with what should be done to comfort one when one is upset." I could tell the subject was uncomfortable for him, but I appreciated his attempt.

"Well, depending on the closeness relationship-wise, a hug is appropriate, or holding a hand, what you did when I had my seizure was a good example. My aunt really talked about me that much?" He made a sound that I interpreted as a chuckle, though it sounded rusty.

"Yes, she is quite proud of you, if you would like, I can leave so that you may rest." Not thinking, I took his hand, needing to communicate my intent. His hand was warm, and I could feel his calluses, I looked up from his hand and met his eyes again.

"Please forgive me, Severus, I don't want to be a stranger to you, not after all your help." His hand turned over in mine, his large, long fingers playing with mine.

"Astrea, I forgive you, thank you for explaining." He lifted my hand to his mouth and placed a lingering kiss on the back of it, then gently set it on my lap, squeezed it, stood, and left. I was stunned, how dare he do that and just leave? His lips on my hand occupied me through the rest of the night, including dinner, I was still turning it over when I slid into the sheets of my new bed. The thoughts followed me into my dreams, which were filled with a tall, shadowy man whose touch made my nerves sing.

A/N: Thank you for reading, if you would be willing to review I'd love to know what you think, cheers!