Author's Note:
So now I have finally made it to the last chapter of Part I: Carpe Diem for this fanfiction. After this chapter Part II officially starts. Here is to hoping it takes less than 6 years for me to finish the second part…
This chapter had been written awhile back and I just had to do some editing for it this past week, so that's why it's published faster.
Thank you all for your support and for the time spent reading this story.
Spoiler alert: this story continues being depressing.
NineInchNailed.
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. For when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you."
~Friedrich Nietzsche.
At 8:57am the ambulance carrying Yusei Fudo arrived at the Seiroka Byoin ER, where he was met with a team of surgeons and nurses. Earlier in the ambulance they used shock paddles and succeeded in bringing back an erratic heartbeat, stabilizing him enough for transport to the trauma room
Jack, who nearly tailgated that ambulance, kept respectful distance while watching them wheel away Yusei. When Carly pulled up in the car with Rua and Ruka, he rushed them so they could all go inside.
A few minutes later the ambulance carrying Mahdi pulled up, followed by the one with Aki and Crow. A batch of Public Security officers arrived with them which included Ushio and Mikage this time.
Finally, a quarter after 9am, some press arrived to cover the latest news in the dueling world of Neo Domino and to keep the public up to date of the current King of Games' dire condition. Somebody had tipped them off but thankfully the hospital would not let them inside so they had to make do by the doors.
As Aki was not in need of immediate medical intervention they wheeled her into the main lobby to wait with other non-urgently sick people. A nurse briefly came by to check up on the IV bag, eyed Crow with disapproval (probably having seen his marked-up face and assumed he was an ex-murderer of sorts), and hurried elsewhere.
Crow sat by Aki's stretcher and thought of Yusei in surgery somewhere in this building. He briefly deliberated if he should caress Aki's hand to comfort her, but instead settled on fixing up a blanket on her. As it was clearly a less weird and inappropriate thing to do.
Another nurse was passing by and he tried to get her attention. "Hey! Sorry we've just arrived but my friend is very sick-"
"We apologize but we are very busy. We thank you for your patience and a doctor will come see you as soon as possible," she retorted with a well-practiced response and motioned to a vending machine nearby. "Please help yourself with refreshments while you wait." She promptly hurried away.
"Fuck!" Crow mumbled under his breath but got up to see what the machine had to offer. He had passed up on Carly's eggs and bacon offer earlier and now, despite all the stress, began feeling numbed twinges of hunger.
He got a stale chocolate bar, a water bottle and selected a cup of instant coffee. He watched, part disgusted and part mesmerized, as hot unappetizing goo poured into a flimsy plastic container.
When he had gathered all that food into his arms and turned back, he saw Aki slowly sitting up.
"Aki!" he exclaimed and nearly dropped everything he bought. He approached and quickly appraised her: she still looked pale, tired and disoriented.
"Where…" her pallid lips moved, words nearly inaudible. Her gaze followed the length of the IV tube starting at the apparatus and into her arm. What is this, huh? a voice in her head asked.
"We're at the hospital," Crow answered and held out snacks to her. "Want something to eat?"
She didn't appear to hear, still lethargically studying the IV. And then she reached down, fumbled at the tape stuck at the top of her forearm, and then simply ripped the needle, straight out. Crow's mouth fell open at the sight of blood starting to escape. Aki covered it with her hand and folded her arm at the elbow.
"Whoa whoa, what are you doing," a nearby orderly intervened, as he happened to be passing by. "You can't just do that!" he reproached the patient and tried to push her down to rest up and so he could get the IV back in.
"I'm fine," Aki sat up again, pushing back against his help and putting her feet down. "I'm feeling fine. I need to go see someone. He should be in surgery right now." Or in a morgue, a high voice mocked inside her head and her whole body broke out with a layer of chill. Did they hear this? she thought, panicked and sickened, quickly looking at the fellow Signer and the hospital worker but not noticing anything. Maybe…maybe I'm just tired.
The orderly eyed her with trained disbelief.
Crow got over his initial shock and joined in her plea. "It's true! He's in surgery and we need to go see him. If Aki is sure she's feeling alright…"
"I am," she argued, trying to add notes of confidence to her weak voice.
The healthcare assistant continued studying her but then sighed, relenting in the face of other people needing help and the lack of necessity of holding back a person who appeared to be feeling alright. "Okay but don't leave here yet. And drink carbohydrates and get something to eat." He used a gauze to clean up the trickle of blood that's escaped her and put a fresh cotton swab over the puncture site, putting a tape over it. "And wait an hour before taking it off this time, okay?"
Crow gladly offered his snacks again.
This time Aki accepted and downed the coffee in two gulps. The chocolate was harder to eat due to her nonexistent appetite and nausea but under the orderly's watchful eye she forced herself to eat it.
The helpful man nodded and left them alone.
Aki slowly got up to her feet and swayed but Crow was instantly at her side, supporting her. "No, I'm okay, Crow," she muttered. "Please just lend me your arm."
I would carry you the whole way if you were to ask me, he thought ruefully, watching her clutch to his arm. Nonetheless she didn't lie, she could walk, and so they began their trip.
He didn't say or ask her anything. Only thing was when they stopped in front of the hospital map and he looked up the trauma division. "Third floor, East Wing," he said out loud and led them towards the elevator.
Aki was looking down on the floor as they walked, white static in vision and buzzing in her ears. If she listened hard enough to it she could overhear bursts of laughter (this is what madness sounds like). And looks like, the voice echoed with a smile. If a voice could smile this was it.
Maybe I am crazy now. Would Yusei love me if I'm insane?
How can he love you if he's dead? the voice screeched. His corpse is lying on that operating table. Nothing they could do. You'll see!
"Crow," she attempted. "Can you hear anything?"
"Hmm? No. Wait," Crow listened intently and Aki held her breath. "The song playing over the hospital intercom? Yeah it's alright."
They got in the elevator with a few other patients and visitors and it began moving up. She was still hanging to him, slouched and unsteady and he stood tall, in posture finally comparable in height to hers.
Nice try. But others can't hear crazy people's thoughts.
Crow was concentrating on the small TV screen above them. It was showing the weather forecast for the week and a small moving ribbon at the bottom gave current headlines; one of those was about an unknown accident that involved the current King of Games and the press on the scene was to give updates soon. This update flashed as quickly as it appeared but he hoped desperately that Aki wouldn't notice.
Who are you? Aki was studying the floor.
I'm you. The darkness within you. You had so much of it. It was ripe for the taking. It was so easy to see. Matter of time, really.
"Aki, I'm glad you woke up…I was so concerned, you know," Crow's quiet voice floated out. Aki dazedly looked at him. He was looking somewhere on the side, maybe at the other patients in the elevator.
"T-thanks."
"I should tell you a funny story one day," he continued mumbling, quiet so only she could hear and not anyone else. "Once Yusei wakes up. I don't think you know this one. But Jack and I once tricked him and took him to this strip club. He had no idea. You should have seen his face. Oh and then we paid this one girl to… Basically he ended up with this ridiculous hickey. But you know I won't spoil it," he made eye contact and smiled gently. "I know how this sounds but it's a good story, I promise. Even then he couldn't get you out of his mind, you know?"
Aki made a semblance of a smile, this quick preview tugging a familiar memory in her. Who cares, the impatient voice floated out. Enough of this teenage drama bullshit. Look at how "him having you on his mind" turned out? Are you happy?
On the third floor, it didn't take them long to ask where the appropriate surgery room was and to find the rest of their friends camping out in the area outside.
"Aki!" Carly exclaimed, getting up and running over. "Are you injured?"
Rua and Ruka turned their heads but Jack continued watching the double doors leading to the operation room.
"No," Aki said shortly to her friend, face expressionless. Carly tried to offer her a small smile and touched her shoulder but she didn't react. Instead, she looked at Rua, seeing the boy's pain and anxiety over Yusei. She passed him over and focused on Ruka. Clearly upset and distressed but didn't she also look kind of furious? You see it, don't you? the toxic sickness whispered. She hates you for what you've done. She loved Yusei too. And she's thinking, this bitch – she killed him.
Aki almost recoiled from the pain the inner voice caused and looked down from the young Signer. That voice was almost alive, almost taking on its own existence. Well it was right in everything it's said so far, no?
She barely felt it when the younger girl ran over and embraced her tightly. "Aki nee-san," the gentle girl whispered. "I'm so happy you're okay. We were so worried about you."
Aki felt as if a clunk of ice fell off her heart. She embraced Ruka back and whispered, "Thank you." What the hell is wrong with me, she reproached herself and her disgusting thoughts. At that they briefly recoiled but continued hissing somewhere deeper inside.
When Aki finally got a chance to sit down, she landed on a couch next to Crow. Almost immediately she slumped and leaned her head against his shoulder, finding it challenging continuing staying upright. There they sat, mirror images of the day she sat with Yusei when they were waiting for results on Takashi. And it was okay because nobody noticed nor cared, not when what was happening in the emergency chamber just across of them.
Inside the room, Yusei had been transported from the stretcher onto the table. There was a thick layer of blood, from his stomach to his feet, all the way around on both sides of his body. Regular CPR had kept an unsteady heart rate (slow weak beats, almost like aftershocks), pulse at 60 over 35 and dropping. His pupils were fixed and dilated with no evidence of neurological function.
The doctors had begun performing blood transfusions in an attempt to re-establish blood circulation and opened him up to find severe internal bleeding. Liver was damaged and veins were emptied of blood. Doctors applied pressure to the wound, rushing to close it before units of blood from the transfusion would spill out, and administered drugs into his heart.
After five minutes the head surgeon had finished stitching up the damaged organ and the bleeding seemed to have been mostly brought under control. They began making preparations to close him up when the heart monitor went flat, once again. The supporting team had grabbed the paddles and began trying to restart him.
Outside Aki felt a sudden crushing and sharp weight on her chest and had trouble catching the next breath. She tried not to hyperventilate with panic and forced herself not to move so she wouldn't alarm her friends. She submitted to this batch of suffering.
Her unconscious laughed. This is it. Start counting the remaining seconds. He's given up on fighting.
Maybe he wouldn't have had to, Aki thought. There had to be limits to his strength.
If only you worked harder and helped him more, the voice hissed. Continued CPR longer than those few seconds you did it. Instead you've given up and reduced yourself to a sniveling and weeping animal.
I…I couldn't. It was… she tried to speak up against herself.
Yeah. There you go.
Doctors had shocked him twice. Now a third time. They did not want to give up: not when the damage had been contained, not when they were so close.
I won't lie, he's put up a good fight. He's stayed alive much longer than I thought he would. Almost impressive. But it's impossible to defeat all the odds. He can finally rest…in pieces.
I wish I were dead, Aki thought hard. I wish I were dying instead of him, she wished desperately.
It's true, it would be so much better. Everyone would be happier.
Yes, she agreed. A good, just person in exchange for something rotten.
Who would agree to such a great trade off, the voice cackled.
Rua sighed heavily and wiped away a sudden influx of tears. Ruka looked sick. Even Jack didn't look as calm as usual. There was something bad in the air and it was everywhere: in the harsh light, in the sick and chemical hospital smells, in the anxious sounds, in the atmospheric pressure. All the Signers were feeling it weigh down.
"Ah-…Um…" Crow started and his voice was weak. He cleared his throat and faced Jack. "Did you…should we give Martha a call?"
"No, why?" the tall man retorted angrily and stubbornly.
Don't make me say it, you bastard, Crow fumed.
"I don't feel very good," Rua struggled to say. He sniffled wetly. Ruka leaned over and hugged him tightly, wordlessly.
It's true, the boy doesn't look very healthy, the voice narrated to Aki as she mindlessly looked over at the twins. Did he inherit his sister's heart problem? What a weak sort.
She absently wondered when the voice started sounding like Mahdi, like Divine and like herself, all in one. But it made sense that if she had lost her sanity that these would be the voices guiding her.
She blinked slowly as a static stretched over her field of vision. Through it she saw Yusei as he lay on the surgery table. Tubes and needles and machines and medical personnel all around. Gore on his body. Electroshock paddles over his bare chest, his gray face turned to the side, limp head jerking as electricity circuited through him (the way it did at the end of that fateful duel) but without avail.
It was a disturbing and stomach-churning vision. She shook her head, horrified at what her imagination had conjured up and fought back a wave of nausea. She turned her face away and buried it into Crow's shoulder. She thought she had whined out loud or shed some painful dry tears but the guy did not react at all. He sat there, staring at the ground, trembling imperceptibly. She could smell his cologne and faint traces of sweat and something comforting on him. Something like food.
At that moment all the Signer marks lit up. Shining bright and blood red. And it scorched every one of them, deeply and purposefully. All but Aki jumped up, grabbed on to them and cried out loud. Aki, who lost her support, fell back against the couch and relished in this agony. She willed it to be stronger. She wished it'd burn white hot on her flesh. Maybe then something could cleanse her. She felt putrid. Nothing can though, the voice mocked.
"What's happening?" the Team 5D's panicked.
"The Crimson Dragon," Jack managed a guess. And they all understood that if they were to look out the window now that they would see majestic celestial beast soaring across the sky; bellowing. Crying a song for a fallen Signer.
YOU KNOW, THEY KNOW – HE IS DEAD! the voice roared and Aki covered her ears, eyes staring up at the ceiling. How can they not hear this? she marveled.
"Damn it," the head surgeon said wearily and motioned for the paddles to stop.
There was a pause. Then a nurse looked at the clock. "Time of death: 9:24am. Blood loss and cardiac arrest."
"I knew who this was," another doctor spoke up solemnly, as she reached and switched off the ECG. "Fudo Yusei. He saved the city half a year ago. He saved my son, too. He was his hero."
"Yeah," the main surgeon remembered and shook his head. "It's a tragedy."
Nothing more tragic than unfulfilled potential, the voice reckoned.
The things he could have still done, hearts touched, the lives saved, Aki thought in her head. She's begun shaking hard. Cold. Numb. Yusei…Yusei…
And you're still here.
Because he's sacrificed himself to save me. I lead him there. I did this to him with my wretched power.
The worst sacrifice he could have done. Life thrown away for garbage.
It's true, she agonized, hot tears gushing down the side of her face. How can I live with this? With what I've done? I can't. Yusei! Please, please don't go. Please don't go. Yusei!
Then don't live with this, the voice helpfully suggested.
I won't. I'll get this over with within the hour. If only Mahdi had cut my throat earlier. This never would have been.
Do you wish to end yourself? Better yet: do you wish to switch places with Fudo Yusei?
I wish it from the bottom of my heart. That decaying organ covered in gooey mounds of rot. Completely drowned by the poisonous, hissing shadow. Ferociously pumping black viscous fluid. Rhythmically contracting as if in frenzy, spurting blood at its seams.
She flashbacked to just the night before. The smiles, the laughter, all troubles forgotten, just a day to themselves. Fingers intertwining. The warmth of his lips. The deep, attentive sapphire of his eyes. The sound of his voice. The way she knew he loved her. The way she could never have (and never should have) doubted it, not even for one second, not even if he's never had a chance to say it.
The way she looked at him and how she wished they'd never be apart.
Do you? Then make a deal with God and get him to swap your places. If only you could do something like that, huh?
"If only I could," Aki echoed, the beats of her heart loud and slow; in synchrony with the pulsating wishes of her brittle soul.
Then why don't you, Izayoi Aki?
Aki turned to lie flat on her back, eyes rolling up and a bright white light engulfed her.
Yusei saw his friends' shining futures and it overflowed him with happiness.
He saw Rua and Ruka, both grown up and living in England.
Rua was an accomplished Duel Rider, competing with the best of teams. He'd drive Ruka to university on mornings that he could. Ruka shone in her studies, at the top of her class and a heartbreaker like no other. Surrounded by all her friends, kind and sweet, she waved at her brother who sped away for his trials in the next big duel tournament.
There Yusei saw Crow with his new dueling team. Successful and generous, he spoke to his new teammates and encouraged them to accept Rua into their circle. They wouldn't regret it. He had potential like no other. As for him? Crow gave his signature lopsided smile. He would go on adventures to better himself and to face off against the current King of Games. Jack Atlas was waiting for him.
Speaking of Jack Atlas. Proud and ambitious the current champion had won another tournament. He walked with his head held high, as kingly as he had always desired. Holding trophies, surrounded by adoring fans and everything he ever dared to imagine as a kid grown up in the slums. And he had attained it with his own two hands, fairly. He called out a challenge to what sounded almost like meant for him but of course it was to Crow.
Where was…
Finally. There she was. Prestigious hospital in Germany. One of the highest regarded in the world. After hard work and many sleepless nights, she had become a physician. She radiated beauty, wit and kindness. And it was a perfect fit. She was always so tuned to others. She could perform miracles. She was meant to save people, nurture them. And Aki laughed as she watched Jack Atlas' win over live stream. She was happy for him and wished him all the best. Then she calmed a panicked nurse effortlessly. She spoke of Team 5D's and how their support helped her get here. And Yusei saw them all as they celebrated their win at WRPGs. That final, still, perfect image. The laughter, the celebration, the pure happiness that all of them had achieved with their hands. An ultimate day.
That image coloured this existence.
This was everything.
This was all.
And then… a small invasive thought nudged him.
He didn't think he saw Bruno. He was in that WRPGs image but he wasn't here. He saw everyone but him. What was he up to here? Where was he?
You don't see him because he's fulfilled his mission here.
What mission?
The same one he's fulfilled in your time too. Except here he didn't come back.
Is this not their future?
Not where you've come from.
I don't understand.
You will.
There was weight and it was unbearable. He thought he had fallen (on his knees) and then also (on his hands) and he breathed heavily the air that didn't exist.
He stood in front of him, average height, wild black, red and yellow hair, dark blue attire (golden shimmering robes).
You will have a chance to make a choice, he said without speaking.
"I'm tired of having to choose," Yusei whispered.
Choice is your power. Always has been. You can choose and change destiny.
"Mine or theirs?"
Eyes of deep amethyst purple held him as he answered.
The head surgeon had departed into adjacent room and began scrubbing off. He was mentally working through a script for when he'd need to go outside and tell the friends and family that they couldn't save the victim.
The other assisting physicians were on their way to joining him while the nurses had begun the preparations for the body to be taken away.
It was then that the clearly dead patient had started seizing up, terrifying the two nurses next to him and causing one of them to scream out.
The doctors ran back into the room and all had stood back, uncertain and innerved, watching the inexplicable seizure occur.
Before their eyes the open wounds have begun closing. Tissue threads spreading out, binding and repairing themselves.
Wordlessly the medical personnel approached and watched this happen up-close. Slowly, all the cuts and damages reversed until there was nothing left on the skin, only the slick coating of blood.
The seizure had ended as abruptly as it had started.
As if in trance, one of the nurses reached and turned the heart monitor back on.
The line was flat. And then a single phantom beep registered. Then another. And then the ECG showed a regular, continuous pattern of activity. The oxygen bag slowly began constricting. Chest moving lightly.
"What…the…" the head surgeon uttered. A bold doctor stepped up and pulled back the patient's eyelid, shining a small light. Nothing registered on the still, large pupil for a few seconds. And then, slowly, it contracted.
"Ever seen anything like this?" the physicians asked each other, exchanging the perplexed and shocked looks. It appeared that now, aside from blood and fluid loss, the patient was fine. If it wasn't for local anesthesia he could probably wake up.
It was 9:28am.
Outside the red mark had stopped burning the Signers. The light dissipated.
Breathing heavily, they all looked at one another, each thinking what had happened but none brave enough to say it.
Rua was first. "Yusei has died!" he cried out hysterically and began sobbing. He hugged his sister who was shaken by the same inconsolable state.
Carly ran over to Jack and buried her face in his chest. Jack stood still as a stone, pale as marble, eyes wide.
"No…it…can't…" Crow was attempting to deny it. But…they've all felt it, didn't they? It didn't need to be said. And the mark's light had ended. It was over.
Eyes red and watering, he looked over in dismay at Aki. She was lying on that stiff hospital couch, eyes closed, arm stretched out. She seemed to have lost consciousness.
At that moment, a surgeon in scrubs walked out of the operation room.
Upon seeing him, Rua wailed even louder. They knew, they knew already!
"So. I have good news," the doctor announced and a hush settled over the crying group.
"What?" Crow sniffled, feeling stupid.
"We were able to get Fudo Yusei stabilized. He is now being transferred to ICU where we will be keeping him under close observation for the next couple of days. We must run some tests. He is still very weak and we don't know when he'll regain his senses. But you may be able to see him in a couple of hours."
Crow made a shocked noise, something like a snort. They were all bewildered, reacting with delay. But then a happy laughter erupted and soon all the friends were laughing, hugging and rejoicing.
The doctor watched them with a smile, albeit still very perplexed himself. He decided to refrain mentioning the details of how this miraculous recovery had occurred. Ultimately, as weird as it all was, the most important thing was that the patient had made it.
"Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU SO MUCH, doctor!" Rua and Ruka cheered. Carly ran over to him and started shaking his hands, giving thanks over and over again.
"Aki," Crow neared her and gently shook her, the biggest grin on his face. "Aki, wake up – Yusei! Yusei is going to be alright!"
Aki stirred and opened her eyes. The usually bright amber looked hazy, confused. "What…" she moaned.
"Yusei! He's going to be okay! He's made it!"
Oh. Yes, my wish had come true. Which means… "Crow…I'm dead."
"What?" Crow laughed and then just pulled her into the tightest embrace. Still laughing, still crying happy tears. "He's okay! He's okay!"
Within that elated hug, Aki smelled that comforting loving scent on him. Yes, it was food after all. He smelled a little like pizza, maybe the world's best tasting pizza. How much of it was the result of his Blackbird Deliveries and how much of it just came with him, who knew.
I'm dead. This is a dream, she thought but a weak smile came to her features. It was the loveliest dream.
No, it's not a dream, it's actually happened, a voice floated out, loud and clear.
Crow released her, looked upon her with the happiest expression on his face, and ran to hug the others.
Oh yes. You were very successful, witch. Well done. I knew you had it in you all along. Not without my help though. Give credit where it's due. And pay up your promised price. You and I have made a deal.
Take it, she thought in a disembodied, dejected voice. Why am I still alive? You said: life for a life.
Yeah, I did. And so I will take your life, Izayoi Aki. Take it over.
Bruno, Ushio and Mikage had arrived and joined the rest of the team. They have all rejoiced in celebration.
You helped take mine from me. It's only fair, it hissed. I still have unfinished business.
"How is that going to happen," she whispered, with no one near enough to hear her talking to herself.
Easily. It's already begun.
She looked around in despair. Please give me a little more time. Give me time to say goodbye.
The medical staff had taken Yusei into a shared recovery room at the ICU. It wasn't until the sudden appearance of Yeager, the mayor of Neo Domino, who had pulled some strings, that they could place him into a dedicated private room.
"Some perks for our champion," Yeager said to the grateful Team 5D's. The clown man had come when he heard that there was trouble. He understood how much he and the whole city had owed to Yusei. To pay a visit at the hospital was the least he could do.
"Also, Hogan-san," he turned respectfully to Crow. Crow smiled politely, fighting off a shiver. The whole clown getup was just unsettling, even if the man was the best mayor the city has ever had. At the very least it spoke volumes when the city had elected him despite his…somewhat questionable appearance.
"Please give this to Fudo Yusei when he's awake," Yeager resumed and handed the Signer an envelope an official seal upon it. "It's something the council and I had thought would be a good mutual opportunity. Please ask him to look it over and get back to me personally with any questions. Or with his answer."
"Um, kay," Crow accepted the cryptic responsibility.
At that Yeager had to excuse himself. He had to get back to running the city, as much as he wished to stay a little longer. He wished the Team 5D's captain a quick recovery and departed with his deputies and bodyguards.
"Hopefully he takes care of the press outside too," Carly commented. "I bet they're waiting to get a scoop! But we all know that this will be a job for the very diplomatic Nagisa Carly!"
"Right. So do you know what actually happened?" Crow inquired curiously.
"Um…not really," Carly was embarrassed, "I'm hoping to get an exclusive scoop when Aki feels better and Yusei too."
"Maybe," Crow mumbled and looked over at Aki was sitting nearby, still mildly catatonic and in her own thoughts. She wasn't reacting to this conversation at all. Crow thought it was okay considering the stress she had to endure. But he wished she'd at least finish the water he'd given her. She still looked quite unwell.
Ruka had curled up on a couch outside, having dozed off. Next to her Rua was sitting, eyelids heavy and battling away the sleep. Bruno was slumped over a chair already. Now that everything seemed to be okay, stress had released them and was overtaken by extreme joy. They all had to crash eventually while they waited to see Yusei. As the head doctor said, it would take a couple of hours at minimum.
Jack had chewed on his bottom lip, pacing about like a jungle cat in a cage and then, without further explanation, disappeared somewhere while Carly wasn't looking.
Ushio and Mikage hung around for a bit. However, they soon realized that they were in the same boat as Carly in that they wouldn't be able to get answers from Aki or Yusei on Public Security matters. So instead they've decided to go check up on what was happening with Mahdi and what they could obtain for further investigation.
A nurse had exited Yusei's room shortly after. "He is still under and he needs a lot of rest. He has lost a lot of blood so we are actively performing transfusions. It is extremely unlikely that he will come to today."
"We're staying," Rua and Crow answered in unison.
The nurse sighed patiently. "Our visiting hours end at 8pm tonight. Still a long way to go. You are welcome to stay until then but you won't be able to see your friend until we can be certain that he's more stable. Please give us three more hours. But please note that he may not regain consciousness for a couple of days."
"We're staying," Rua and Crow repeated together again.
Aki looked up slowly, seemingly uncomprehending as to what was happening.
"You won't be allowed to see him until then. Please be patient. I'll be coming back to check on him again in a few minutes," the nurse promised and hurried away to attend on another urgent business.
"Crow," Aki said weakly and suddenly got up. She was unsteady and placed a palm against the wall to help her balance. "I'm going in there."
"What?" Crow panicked. "Aki you can't! She's coming right back."
"Can you distract her if she returns? I only need a few minutes," she begged. "Please, Crow."
He sighed heavily but it didn't take him long to agree: "Right. But please hurry."
Aki sneaked up to the door, looked out for any medical personnel passing by, and then slipped in there with the quietest dexterity she could manage.
The room was chilly, sterile and very white. There was a tepid, chemical smell in the air. A single window was partially open, letting a small breeze through. The morning was still cloudy and heavy as it spilled into the afternoon.
Yusei lay on the bed in the middle of the room. Two simultaneous IV's were connected to him, one with a blood bag that was so deeply red it looked almost purple. Another was clear. An oxygen mask was over his mouth, the bag contracting slowly next to it. A heart monitor was beeping slowly, steadily.
Aki stumbled back against the door and squeezed her eyes shut. She wished tears would come but she had none left, there was only dry despair and that awful, grating headache.
Finally, she approached. She leaned in and studied everything about him up close. He didn't appear to regain any significant colour: he still looked the same pale green as he did dying on that warehouse floor. Although this was significantly better than the ashen gray he looked later. In that dreary hospital garb he looked like he was drained of all colour; even his hair that refused to be combed under normal circumstances looked flat and bleak. He simply looked frail, a ghost of his former self. She couldn't believe this was Yusei. It was easier to believe that this was an impersonator, not a man she'd always thought was strongest out of all of them.
She pressed her hand hard against her forehead. Her head hurt so terribly it was blinding. Swaying, she turned away and stumbled into the bathroom. There she dry-heaved repeatedly until she threw up empty stomach acid, whole body squeezing. Afterwards she splashed icy water repeatedly on her face and felt marginally better. Then she glimpsed at her reflection for a moment. Instantly she had to look away, having seen her own somewhat recognizable form but doubled with something else; something scary and primordial. In the peripheral, it looked like herself, Divine, Mahdi and something else, all in one. Looming. Deformed. Maybe because that's what she perceived it to look like ever since it awoke. Or this thing simply took shape of your worst hallucinations.
Like what you see? the voice hissed with sinister amusement.
She ignored it and, turning off the light, she returned to the room. She approached the bed again and carefully took Yusei's hand in hers. It felt weak and cold in hers but his fingernails were no longer that deoxidizing blue hue. It was also very dry, a stark contrast to the pallid state every millimeter of his skin was just before.
"Yusei, you don't look great," she said and smiled. "But I have never felt more blessed than for this sight."
She carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, trying not to get in the way of any apparatuses. A crease of pain seemed permanent on his brow. She placed her cold hand on his forehead and caressed him gently, pushing back locks of hair. She wished he were to wake up now but him resting was far more important.
She reached and extremely carefully lifted the hospital shirt to look at his stomach. Flashes of the gore she had previously glimpsed at on the dueling field, then on the operation table. But no. He was all healed. There was nothing at all, not even a scar – the only one that was still there was from his past duel with Kiryu.
She fixed the shirt back and then, unable to help herself, scooched into that little space on the bed next to him and put her ear on his chest. Listening to the steady quiet beat of his heart. The slow rise and fall of his chest. And closing her eyes Aki let this soothe her. Whispering something to him, maybe something to herself, maybe something to them both, she thought of everything that was.
And all that could have been.
Carly went looking for her boyfriend and after scavenging through the entire hospital she managed to find him on the roof.
The tall Signer was standing near the heavy metallic door which was the entrance. Leaning against the wall he was intently smoking a cigarette. By his feet were two burnt out nicotine buds.
"Jack!" she exclaimed and propped her hands on her hips. Tapping her foot.
He ignored her displeasure and, actually, her whole appearance here. He released a particularly large smoke cloud.
"Why do you keep partaking in this disgusting habit!"
Jack tapped the ash lightly to his side and continued smoking.
"You never listen to me!" she fumed. When he didn't respond again, she got sick of his stubbornness and walked over to him, swiftly grabbing the cigarette out of his hand, throwing it to the ground and stomping on it.
"Carly!" he snapped. "Damn it, can you leave me alone?"
"Why, so you can continue standing here, sulking? Ruining your health?" she exclaimed. But then she smiled lightly and was about to make a joke, to tease him out these snobby Jack-Atlasy moods he got into sometimes, when he interrupted her:
"YES! And I WANT TO. Just leave me alone," he yelled.
Carly winced, realizing his real anger. He wasn't just moody and not truly serious like he usually was. He truly didn't want her here right now.
He did not apologize. He only reached into his pockets, pulled out the flat box of cigarettes, tapped out another one and lit it. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the wall again and folded his arms across his chest.
Carly stood, silently watching him and taking sharp breaths to hold back her tears. He could be so cruel sometimes but she still loved him.
Neither spoke for a long minute. Finally, she turned and attempted to walk away. But then she stopped, changing her mind. "Jack, I've been thinking about what you've told us this morning at Poppo Time. How back then you wouldn't put your friends ahead of your greatness. How you wish for your legacy to live on. I mean, I know you spoke of that in past. But…is that still something you think about? Do you think about it a lot?"
Stoic as a statue he answered nothing.
"I mean, I know Team 5D's means so much to you. But…"
He still wouldn't say anything for a long time. Carly couldn't figure out how to phrase the bad feeling in her heart and how to enunciate without her voice shaking.
Finally, he spoke up. "When I thought Yusei was dead," he said. "And I thought I'd become King by default. I didn't want it."
"Well, Yusei has been a friend to you, a brother-"
"No," he interrupted and his cool violet gaze pierced into hers. "I want to be King. But I don't want it if I can't win it with my own power."
"Oh," she felt a little better. Well, this was fine, this is what Jack has always said so…
"I can never become King again. Not until I defeat Yusei. And I can't defeat Yusei. I know it. Not the way I am now," he said.
Carly swallowed hard. "The way you are now?"
He wouldn't answer her.
"What do you mean? What way are you now?"
He resumed his silence.
"Jack. Do you…do you feel like we're holding you back? All of us?"
She waited for him to say something but he wouldn't. Then she spoke up, letting out the awfulness that's fostered in her: "Do you feel like I'm holding you back?"
Still nothing but she didn't need him to say anything this time.
"Because that's not fair, Jack! It's not fair! I never once tried to hold you back from anything, especially not from what was important to you! I've always told you that I'd support you no matter what you'd choose to do or where you'd choose to go! I would follow you anywhere, to let you follow your dream!"
She couldn't look at him anymore and covered her face with her hands, beginning to cry. "Do you regret being with me? Was this all a mistake? Do you want to break up so you'd be free to do what you need to?"
His strong arms wrapped around her then, pulling her to him, embracing her tightly. One hand stroking her hair. Still an uncharacteristic display of affection that he'd sometimes perform but was capable of. "No, Carly. No."
She nodded but couldn't be consoled for a long time. Despite his comforting gestures and his eventual words she couldn't let it out of her head: he had opened what was lying hidden within his heart. And maybe now he will be reluctant to love me.
It screamed in her ear then and Aki jolted from shock. She was still next to Yusei on that hospital bed. She must have dozed off briefly and whatever that primordial thing was, it was becoming impatient.
Let's go! it screamed. Your time is up!
She hurriedly got up and looked at Yusei. He was still unconscious and he didn't stir at all.
I must leave now, she bent down and gently kissed his forehead. Her body wouldn't let her cry. I love you, I love you.
She pulled back.
Look over there, the voice ordered.
She saw the chair by the bed. On it was Yusei's belt, where he kept all his duel cards. She picked it up.
Good. Now, take Ra back. He's pledged to my cause. He's an ally.
Her fingers twitched. Her head throbbed with that pain again, so severe it was almost crippling. But instead, rapidly she reached for her own deck, took out the first card she could and stacked it between Yusei's cards.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
For some unknown reason she could still refuse it but she also knew this wouldn't last long. So she bolted for the exit and at the same time heard a loud thud outside and commotion in the corridor. One last, lingering look at Yusei and she carefully opened the door.
Crow was rolling on the floor a couple of steps away, groaning about extreme and fake pain in his stomach, while a nurse with her back to the door was trying to get him to calm down. Rua, Ruka and Bruno all watched the scene with fascination.
Crow noticed that Aki had left the room and quickly jumped up to his feet, patting his clothes from dirt. "Oh! I feel so much better now, thank you. Must have been something I ate!"
The nurse scrutinized him with annoyance and then walked into Yusei's room.
Aki stood nearby, looking at him sadly and gratefully.
"Aki-neesan, how was Yusei?" Rua asked.
"He'll be okay," she promised. She thought it better not to mention the initial shock of seeing him the way he was: unconscious, colourless, weak and thinner somehow, too.
Rua and Ruka cheered.
Aki was turning to depart but Crow was faster. He ran up, grabbed her elbow and started pulling her with him, somewhere through the corridor. "Aki, can we chat?'
Seriously? Enough of this crap, the voice hissed. Tell him to fuck off.
"Crow, I can't, I don't have ti-"
"You see what I did there?" he turned to her with a sly grin. "The nurse was about to go in. You two owe me!"
"Thank you," she nodded, trying to calm the noise in her head. It thumped each neuron with incredible ache.
He stopped at the next corridor over and faced her. He looked serious and compassionate.
"Aki, so how are you?"
Oh my god, who cares.
She was taken back a bit. "Um. Been better I guess."
"Did Mahdi hurt you?"
"Ano…well…a little. But it's nothing compared to what he did to Yusei."
Correction, what YOU did to Yusei, it piped in. She agreed with it.
"How did he hurt you?"
Her throat closed. She looked away, suddenly feeling vulnerable. Wanting to cry. "He, um, he hit me after our duel and then…he injected me with something and…" her voice trailed off. He placed those things on me. He tortured me with electricity. He…he…he made me materialize…
This is funny. I didn't do anything that you weren't capable of doing, yourself. It was all dormant. Waiting to expel. I did you a favour, bringing it out. And you're trying to blame this on me?
Crow's eyes were wide. He looked horrified. She didn't finish saying everything but his imagination was working overtime.
"Crow. Look. What he did to Yusei-"
"I saw what was done to Yusei. It was awful. I've never felt so sick or so afraid." He couldn't have known but those words were direct slaps to her face. "But I want to know how you are. We were so worried, Aki. You've just disappeared. And…wait. Hold on, did you really just say you've dueled him!?"
His concern is actually kind of touching, the voice laughed. And Aki felt somewhat surprised at how alike they've thought now. "Yes. I've challenged him to a duel. But I lost. And then-"
"But why!?"
"Because…Crow. I wanted to help Yusei. Because he shouldn't have to take on every challenge. Every enemy. Because…because we're his friends and we need to try easing the burden that's fallen on his shoulders."
Crow stumbled back. His face anguished, hearing himself in those words. Hearing himself saying those words to her yesterday. And repeating them again in Poppo Time this morning, to others. "Aki. No…"
"Crow, it was the worst mistake of my life. What I would do…to turn back time and…" she shook her head and pressed a hand against her eyes. It all hurt too much. She wished she had tears left but she was empty and dry.
The voice in her head was laughing continuously at her pain.
"Aki. But. But Jack and I… We were going to do this. Why did you go and-"
A flash of anger, unparalleled and foreign in intensity, came over her. She glared at him with fury. "And what?"
The laughter became hysterical. I can tell you what you're thinking Izayoi Aki! Is he saying that if he and Jack dueled instead that they would have won? That this never would have happened? YES! YES!
Crow was impacted by the anger he saw in her. "I never should have said those things to you. I didn't realize…I didn't want you to get hurt, Aki! To be hit, to be kidnapped somewhere, to have seen what had happened to Yusei!" he despaired. "Oh my god!" he clutched his head. "I didn't! It was the last thing I could ever have wanted!" With that he launched towards her and embraced her. "Forgive me. Forgive me!"
Aki felt her anger quickly cooling down. She let him hold her like this, feeling his body pressing against hers. He wasn't letting go. He was clearly quite upset. His arms were over hers so she couldn't hug him in return.
You know he's still thinking it. That you had ruined it for them. They had a pretty decent plan. You were the one that ruined everything.
I should tell him the truth, she thought, doubled with that wicked external voice. It's the last opportunity.
"Crow. I was the one who hurt Yusei. I was the one that…did that to him."
The Signer slowly pulled back.
"Yeah. It was my psychic power. It had awoken. And it was stronger than ever before." Don't lie, you liked it. Finally knowing the extent of it. Knowing what you're truly capable of. If only Divine were still alive to have witnessed it. He'd have been so proud of his little psychic whore.
"What?" Crow was frowning.
"Yusei came to save me. And I materialized a monster and watched it stab him," she said in a flat voice and instantly covered her mouth. She had nearly laughed out loud. What's wrong with me? she thought, half horrified and half amused.
Crow was still standing close. Hands still on her. This one is a little brave, after all. Or just incredibly dumb.
"Aki, did Mahdi make you do it?" he asked quietly.
Hahahaha, no! she laughed inside of her head. She looked at him with a wild look on her face. And then she winced and felt a deep stab of pain. Wait, no, that wasn't the truth. "He…he did. He did something," she managed in a small voice. She wanted to cry so bad but it wouldn't let her. "He did something to my head," she whimpered. Maybe he left a piece of himself there.
That's a lie! the voice hissed.
Help me, Crow.
"Aki," he said. Large gray eyes studying her. Watering a bit.
Help- shut up!
He leaned in close then but she did not recoil. Let the ginger boy kiss you, take pity. And she numbly thought that she wouldn't resist it if he did.
But he didn't. His lips touched her cheek. And then he embraced her again. Strong. Warm. The same arms that held her when she struggled to get to Yusei, when she lost her balance, the same arms that comforted her. And in some strange lost way she thought of a parallel, possible future, where if Yusei had never come along that Crow could have been the one for her. "Aki…it's okay. Yusei is okay. Mahdi has been defeated. All will be okay from now on."
But it never will be, again, she thought. Accepting. Distant.
He released her and stepped back, smiling. "I still think you should stick around here and have a doctor check on you to make sure you're okay. What do you think?"
She attempted at a semblance of a smile. "I just might. Maybe I'll do that now."
"Want me to come with?"
"No, it's okay. Thank you, Crow."
"Of course. I've always got your back, Aki. You know that, don't you?"
"I do."
"Team 5D's until the very end!" he grinned happily.
"Yeah. I'll see you around," she waved at him and started walking away.
"You know where I'll be," he waved and, stuffing his hands into his pockets, turned to walk back towards Yusei's room.
Go somewhere secluded, the voice commanded. She obeyed. She couldn't fight anymore. Walked up to the hospital floor plan. Studied it with unseeing eyes.
The roof, it decided.
She approached the elevator. Pressed the "up" button. The elevator next to her beeped, doors opened and patients, visitors came out. Carly was one of them. Despite her enormous eyeglasses it was easy to see that she was upset.
"Oh. Aki," she discreetly wiped her right cheek and sniffled. "How are you feeling after…all of this. We didn't really get a chance to talk much."
"I'm fine. I'm going to go see a doctor," her friend answered mechanically.
"Oh! Okay that's good. It's good to get a check up to make sure all is okay. I'll come with you."
"No, thank you," Aki turned away and walked into the elevator. Pressing the button of the top floor.
"Aki…" Carly stood, confused and disappointed. But the shy self-conscious girl would not persist when she could tell when she was unwanted.
The door closed and the lift began moving up.
Aki couldn't feel or think much anymore. She was so tired. She listened to the dark hum in her head and let it carry her.
They arrived and walked to the stairs entrance. In case of fire escape only. Ha. They pushed it open to nonexistent alarm and made it up to the roof. There, opening the door and walking out they stumbled upon Jack.
The tall champion reeked of smoke and was standing in a neat circle of cigarette buds.
"Aki," he greeted.
"Jack Atlas," a flat voice resounded. It sounded doubled, echoed, strange. "She needs to be alone."
"Who, Carly? Yeah. Whatever," he sighed, exasperated.
"Izayoi Aki," the red-haired Signer corrected. "Now, go."
"Why are you talking stupidly?" he asked, albeit quite uncaringly.
"I said, SCRAM!" his teammate screamed suddenly and he recoiled against the wall as if by invisible power.
"What the h-"
"FUCK OFF!" the voice screeched, deep and odd, but Jack decided that he had better things to do today than get yelled at by all the women of the group. Without attempting to invoke additional fury, he hurried downstairs.
Aki walked towards the edge of the roof and looked down. She briefly wondered if she should just fling herself all these stories down and make this easy for everyone.
A life for a life, Izayoi Aki. A delicate part of Great Balance. You gave a promise to bring him back. To break it means to break him, again. And it will be irreversible.
"Goodbye, everyone," she whispered and surrendered to the fate awaiting her. "Mama, papa, Crow, Carly, Rua, Ruka, Bruno, Jack…Yusei. Goodbye. Goodbye."
A flash of white had overtaken her and it all felt weightless. Unnecessary. Unneeded. It felt like flying and with it, all the feeling, all the thought evaporated; disappeared from that body.
And with that, Aki Izayoi was gone.