Author's Note:
Hello! And the story continues – here is Chapter 27.
This one is a bit of a transition chapter, as I wanted to give Yusei some time to recover before I bring some plot and action back. In the middle of this chapter I also added a huge flashback to Aki's Duel Academy days, to flesh out some background behind her distrust and lack of confidence. I think I'll keep adding a few of these memories in the coming chapters too.
As always, thank you for viewing and for reading, and for all the reviews and favourites that you take the time to do. You are all wonderful.
Disclaimer: this whole thing continues being kind of bleak and depressing, sorry.
NineInchNailed.
"She's mostly gone, some other place.
I'm getting by, in other ways.
Everything they whispered in our ear,
Is coming true."
~"Lights in the Sky" by Trent Reznor
"Wake up, Yusei."
The soothing oblivion. The warmth, the comfort and the state of Happiness.
"Wake up?" Aki murmured and fluttered kisses across his marked cheek, then a few on his chin. "Mmm?" she smiled brightly when his eyes opened. Her hair was messy after sleep, she wore no make-up, the sun rays kissed her skin and illuminated her red hair. She was at her most beautiful. "We should start getting ready so we can go for your duel with Jean." He draped an arm over her and she giggled when he playfully pulled her down to his chest, trying to get her to go back to sleep again. His eyelids fell; he was still so tired.
"Wake up, please," Aki begged. Pale, tear-stained face, red eyes, bruised temples and the shaking hands with which she held him on that warehouse floor. Seconds now. Only seconds away from Nothingness.
Her face morphed into something else. She grinned a foreign smile. She began saying something and black blood began escaping through the corner of her lips. Skin sinking in, sockets bulging out, body drying out from the inside by the parasite within.
"Wake up, Yusei," and he jerked awake with a shout, frightening Rua who was standing by the bed and shaking his shoulder.
"Rua," he gasped. "I'm sorry." He was covered in sweat, shivering. His heart was thumping wildly in his ears, horrible images still circulating before him.
"Sorry too, I think you were having a nightmare," the boy said, still uneasy. "I came to wake you. It's late and you've been asleep for 16 hours."
"Thanks," he mumbled. "I'll…come down."
The young Signer nodded anxiously and left.
Yusei lay back down and placed an arm over his sore eyes. The light of the grey afternoon seemed to burn through the cornea. He let himself lie still for awhile, to catch his breath, to think. There were sounds of the city coming through the second-story window: traffic from cars driving through the plaza, the chirping of the birds, the whispering of the trees flurried by the wind, the distant conversations from passerby pedestrians. Life.
Finally, he got up. Slow. Every muscle ached deeply and he was cold, as if having battled high fever throughout the night. There was a glass of water and the prescribed bottle of medicine on the bedside table, the lamp helpfully fixed back up by someone after he'd crashed it last night. He took a couple of the iron-rich pills and downed the water in two large gulps. Then he made it to the bathroom where he took a long shower, gradually turning the temperature up until it became nearly scolding. He gritted his teeth and let it cleanse him.
It was almost an hour before he finally made it downstairs, as he had promised Rua.
As he approached the kitchen, he heard his friends' voices. Some indiscernible, separate phrases. He had walked in as he heard: "I just…I just don't understand what may have happened. You saw on the news, right? It can't be, right?" It was Carly's voice, shaking in resonance.
"Yusei!" Ruka exclaimed, seeing him. Carly paused her dialogue and Crow – sitting across from her at the table – looked up. Bruno was rummaging through the fridge and turned to see him, as did Rua who was grabbing food from a large pot on the stove.
"Yusei. How are you?" Crow asked, carefully.
"Fine," Yusei pulled up a seat at the table. Rua hurriedly placed a plate with food in front of him before he had a chance to say he wasn't hungry…at all. It was a fresh batch of chicken sukiyaki, still steaming. As Yusei studied it, he felt nauseous.
"Good!" Ruka smiled. Carly pushed chopsticks his way. Rua filled his own plate again and then claimed the seat next to him. "Crow and Carly made this! It's so good, I got seconds," the 13-year-old told him excitedly.
Yusei nodded stiffly and forced himself to take a few bites. As he chewed, he couldn't taste anything but the heat and the texture of it.
A tense silence settled over the group. He had clearly interrupted something that they did not feel comfortable talking about, with him here. Maybe they were waiting for him to say something first. He thought he may as well get it over with. "What happened yesterday-" he began.
"Oh! It's okay, if you want to finish eating first, at least," Carly quickly jumped in, apologetically – "No rush." Rua was nodding. Crow was quiet and serious, staring at him.
"It's fine," Yusei said and told them about last night (except for the part where he destroyed his own D-Wheel and when that thing kissed him). Mahdi didn't die. Something had happened back at the hospital, where he used Aki's power to take her over. Mahdi challenged him to a duel yesterday, as Aki. He took away the Winged Dragon of Ra and now had the use of all her psychic power. There was no presence of Aki, not anymore. Aki was gone. And Jack had joined them, somehow; he had been brainwashed and converted into a semblance of a Dark Signer.
Once he finished, Carly had run out of the kitchen, tears in her eyes. Ruka's hands were over her mouth and Rua's eyes were wide. Bruno was looking from one Signer to the other, sad and slightly lost.
Crow slammed his fist on the table and jumped up, "God…god DAMN IT. Damn it!"
"Aki-san is gone? What do you mean? She's still in there, of course. Right, Yusei? Yusei?" Ruka was asking, despaired.
He couldn't answer her. Instead he tried to focus on finishing at least half of the food on his plate. Even if he had no appetite he needed the strength.
"I'm sure, Ruka," her brother jumped in. "It can't be. We just…we all just need to fight Mahdi, again. We can save her!"
"That's right!" Bruno agreed, attempting to smile.
They don't know, Yusei thought as he mechanically forced the food down. They weren't there. They haven't seen…it. The way the Black Rose Dragon meant nothing. The way none of it meant anything. I had looked into its eyes.
"But Jack? Damn it! DAMN IT!" Crow continued raging. He fumbled for a TV remote and turned the screen on to the news channel. "This is what they're reporting now. It's like we're back at that fake-Jack-dueling-robot fiasco!" The news showed grainy security footages of Jack Atlas, the former King of Games, terrorizing the Neo Domino and Satellite cities: he challenged any duelists he came across, forced them into duels and defeated them, mercilessly. Any riding duelists he ran off the road. And even though the dueling prohibition was still ongoing, he continued getting away.
"We ask for help from anyone we can," Ushio (red-faced and stuttering) was saying during a high-profile interview, with Mikage by his side. "If you see Jack Atlas, please dial for Public Security im-immediately. Please keep your distance and do not, under any circumstances, engage him in a duel."
"Anyone caught dueling with Atlas-sam-…with Jack Atlas, will also be fined and sent to prison," Mikage piped-in, facing the camera. "Please help us catch him."
The news flipped to the newscaster who promptly started reporting the weather forecast.
Crow turned off the TV. By then, Yusei finished eating and pushed the plate away. He wasn't able to taste it but he at least felt some strength return to him.
"This is crazy," Rua mumbled. "How can we fight our friends? Both Jack and Aki, evil?"
"We can do this!" Bruno exclaimed. "We just need a plan! Then we can go and rescue them, the way Team 5Ds has always done! Right, Yusei?"
Yusei silently got up and simply walked out of the room. He heard his friends' voices calling for him but he had disconnected at that point. Instead, he headed down to the garage.
His D-Wheel was parked, leaning against the wall as it was no longer able to stand by itself. It was practically junk. Nearby, Aki's red D-Wheel stood, clean and shiny, having been brought to Poppo Time by Bruno after that fateful duel.
He came over and studied her bike. Remembering the labour put into it by him, Jack and Crow, the happiness it brought, and the person it used to belong to. Memories echoed, touched him with their past lives, and disappeared.
Then he turned to his own D-Wheel and got to work.
A red dragon flew up into the sky and released a mournful cry, spreading the petal wings to soar higher.
Aki Izayoi raised her head from her folded arms and looked around.
She was in the Biology classroom, ten minutes to eight in the morning. Other classmates had just began pouring in. She detested how many would show up after class would start.
High school. Grade 10. She had turned 15 years old only four days ago.
The classmates who entered the room, pointedly ignored her and she was fine with that. She looked outside the window and absently watched the clouds sail across the bright blue sky. Her hand twitched to play a solitaire of sorts with her cards but she knew better than to do that after what happened last week.
When the teacher entered the room they've all got up to their feet to greet her. Afterwards, Aki poured herself into the class, absorbing every word like a sponge.
After the lesson was over she lingered to speak to the teacher, asking about an extra credit assignment she could complete. This particular teacher was very nice to her and believed in her enthusiasm for knowledge. "Aki-san, I know you do very well in your chemistry class too. Consider going to study medicine in university?"
She smiled brightly and shrugged: "Don't know yet but right now I would love too! I'm not doing all that well in physics but thankfully I won't need to take it after one year."
"Good!" the teacher handed her the sheet of paper. "But I've no doubt that you'd do well. And now, off to the dueling class!"
Aki's expression darkened and, after grabbing the assignment, she nodded silently and made her exit.
She took an unnecessary long trip to get to the arena even though it was just down the stairs. She slowly walked the length of the entire second floor and detoured to the girls' bathroom on the first floor. There she took her time brushing her hair repeatedly and then studied her face closely in the mirror. Her complexion wasn't great today and the mascara she was wearing wasn't doing much. Maybe she could try stealing her mother's eyeshadow kit one of these days but, if she got caught, she wouldn't be allowed to come home for yet another weekend. Aki wished that she could go and buy some of her own make-up after school but for those unlucky students who had to live in the dorm there was a tight curfew so she couldn't just go out shopping.
For a hundredth time today she thought how much she hated her parents.
Some voices and laughter from outside and two girls entered the washroom. Upon seeing her they've become quiet and, exchanging a look, ducked into the stalls. Aki pretended not to see them but couldn't prevent anger from bubbling within her. Whatever, I don't care about them, she thought. She procured a sticky red lip gloss from her purse and applied it. She reckoned it made her look slightly better. She wondered if it could make any difference in making her look attractive. She's never had a boyfriend. She's never even had someone admit to liking her. She's never been kissed.
But did it make any difference? Earlier this week she overheard some of her classmates gossiping about her. One of the guys was saying, "Well, Izayoi isn't ugly but I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole after that!" Aki had frozen behind the corner, listening while her pulse raced. One of the girls (who was now hiding in a bathroom stall) joined in, laughing: "That was sooo creepy, right? She made a hologram alive. She's done it before, you know? Freaky!"
"I can't believe they're letting a freak like that go to school here!" the other girl exclaimed, unhappily.
"You think she has other creepy powers too, what if she can read minds?" the original guy resumed and quickly went "Boo!" to a girl and caused her to squeal with fear and delight.
"Did anyone else hear that the reason she always wears long sleeves is because she's hiding something on her arms?"
"I heard it was this gross, red scar!"
"Oh my god. Do you think it's a burn? What if she's lit herself up? Can you imagine? Sick!"
"Ew! Or what if she's cutting herself and hiding the scars?"
"Hahahaha."
"I would not want to have my dick anywhere near that," another guy declared and the whole group laughed again. At that, Aki ran away in the opposite direction and had to collect her composure in the stairway, turned away into the wall so nobody passing could see her face.
Aki had finished washing her hands and rushed out of that washroom before she'd have to face those girls who gossiped about her earlier, again.
Finally, she made it to the dueling session. She succeeded being fifteen minutes late and, as a result, was able to sneak-in relatively unnoticed by other students who've already begun their fun practice.
The teacher of course noticed and reproached her, so she mumbled an apology and proceeded to sit out in the back, near another student who had a medical reason and a doctor's note. Aki simply did not wish to participate, not after the accident last week. It was as those people have said: once again, she had accidentally materialized a monster and, when it had attacked, the fiery impact had blasted her opponent and he fell, hurting his back. They had to summon an ambulance and call her parents. Her mother began weeping hysterically over the phone and her father barked: "Why can't you just try not to hurt others, Aki? Why can't you just try?" It was a weekly repetition of that lovely memory she had from a couple of years back, when she had summoned Giga Plant and had scared other kids during dueling class. That night, her father had slapped her so hard that she had fallen and her cheek was red and bruised for a day.
Her parents were geniuses and forced her into Duel Academy, after all of that. It was a school where normal study workload was at 100% capacity but also with additional 3 hours of mandatory dueling practice four times a week. This place was for aspiring duelists who disliked normal classes and strived for the practice sessions. But the way her condition had made her, she only wished she was in a normal school with regular classes. But why would her parents listen to logic? Of course, those other schools were publicly funded and had been pushed out into less affluent Neo Domino neighbourhoods. Duel Academy was the most elite school of them all. So naturally her dad, being a senator, only cared about his reputation. How could he possibly send his daughter somewhere that wasn't the most exclusive, expensive and private school? That would be ridiculous! How else could he face all those other rich politicians during their tea parties? No, Duel Academy was the only choice and he did not care to hear otherwise.
And recently her powers have gotten worse. Stronger. That disgusting red scar on her arm had started to appear every time now and sometimes, despite all the layers she wore, it would show through and give it all away. Everyone started taking notice. Her dueling had gotten worse and she began losing on purpose just so she wouldn't have to attack anyone. But last time she had been provoked…and she attacked directly…
Teachers and students were frightened. The principal had regularly sent for her mother to come in and threatened suspension. She came and she was so ashamed. She apologized repeatedly on Aki's behalf, kept promising that this would never happen again and that they must continue letting Aki attend this school. And watching her mother fumble and make empty promises made her sick and hurt, beyond belief. She didn't do this on purpose! Why did they all think she did? As if she hasn't tried controlling this! As if she enjoyed doing this!
Sometimes the thought of her parents made her rage with such fury that she'd begin to shake.
She was able to get away with not dueling for a couple of days now but she knew they wouldn't let her do nothing for much longer. After all, despite her amazing academic performance, her dueling statistics were at the bottom of the class. And if she didn't improve soon, she'd fail. Maybe they'd finally expel her then. The thought of this made her happy.
But for a facility that prided itself in producing the world's best duelists with nonexistent expulsion rate, this was unacceptable.
Aki was playing on her phone when a teacher approached. "Izayoi-san, listen," he said, avoiding looking at her and studying some printouts. "I'm afraid that I need to ask you to duel today. I've assigned you a partner already. Jin. He's waiting."
She gasped and attempted, incredibly upset: "No, I can't. I'm… I'm not feeling well."
The instructor finally gazed at her with a mix of apathy and frustration. "Yeah, well, you've been out on sidelines for many days now. I can't just let you pass this course while doing nothing. Get up and go up there."
"But-"
"Do we have a problem here? Should I send you to the principal's office again?"
And send for my parents again, she thought. She shook her head slowly and stood up. Reaching for her dueling cards. "Okay, I'll try," she said in a small voice and went to find her opponent.
Jin was standing, chatting nervously to a few of his friends, and went quiet when she approached. He started looking at his cards, not wanting to talk to her. She had known Jin for almost 10 years now, having been classmates since first grade, but that sort of thing wasn't important apparently.
Aki pulled up a duel disk and started it up. She permitted Jin to take the first turn, which he did gladly. He started with a standard start: a monster in defense, one card face down.
She drew her card and realized that many other students tuned-in to their duel. Even the instructor who made rounds for all the duels and offered playing tips, stopped and began watching hers.
Aki felt angry and nervous with all this attention. She begged within herself for her powers not to reveal anything. Please let this be a normal duel. Please. I beg you.
She played a monster in defense as well, not bothering to attack. She had placed it facedown. Then she added a hidden Trap and ended her turn.
Jin took the second turn. He seemed a little braver after realizing she wasn't going to attack. This could be an easy win for him and something he could boast about afterwards: fighting the creepy girl and winning with his own strength. He played a Magic card that boosted his monster's attack. Then he summoned a second weaker monster on the field. And then he ordered his boosted one to attack hers.
She felt a strange mix of satisfaction and anxiety. His monster lunged but she flipped up her hidden monster card. The special effect destroyed his monster and dealt 200 points of damage to his score.
And even though she made zero effort, the impact of destruction sent a gust of wind towards her opponent. Everyone in the dueling room panicked, Jin included. The teacher warned her angrily.
She stared at him. Anger boiling black. She didn't do anything. She did not even attack. How was it her fault that Jin's monster was simply weaker? They wanted her to duel, she didn't even try a basic strategy and they were still angry with her. She was set up to fail and she could not refuse and plead inaction.
She hated all of them so much. Maybe this is just how people treated those they were afraid of? This is how they treated monsters, like her? Maybe she should be getting used to this already? She bit down on her lip, hard, and clenched her fists.
Jin decided to continue his assault. He activated his monster's special effect, saying that he could inflict 800 points of damage to her when he had a certain monster in his Graveyard. And at that everyone who watched this duel cheered him: "Do it! Go! Go! Go!" A jock on the sidelines encouraged him, "Show that witch the true power of a duelist!" Two more joined in: "You can do it, Jin! Show the nasty witch how to duel!" The teacher stood there, listening and saying nothing.
Aki looked around, listening as their chants battered her psyche. She felt tears beginning to sting her eyes but she refused to let them fall. No, never again. Never again will any of these people have the pleasure of making her cry. She let every nasty word seep into her blood like poison and fume into anger. You know what, she thought, Screw all of you.
She flipped open a Trap card. "Battle Teleportation!" she announced. "When I control a face-up Psychic Monster I can attack you directly this turn. Take 1500 points of damage!"
It all happened then, worse than ever. The ground shook and the blast had thrown not only Jin but a few others as well. It was a bonafide explosion and a part of the gym's ceiling collapsed. Everyone started to scream in fear.
And as she watched them, she felt…satisfaction. She climbed up on those ruins and stood there, looking down at all of them from it. Daring them to continue taunting her, challenging her.
At that moment, she knew then that her dueling academy days had come to an end. She had ended it that day. She felt it then but (I knew it too, as I had lived through this. The worst feeling of dejavous) there was no escaping it.
With all that chaos and commotion, she ran away from school and headed to her parents' place. Maybe she could see them before the principal would call them and tell them what she'd done today. Maybe she could try explaining herself, maybe ask if they'd consider sending her to a new school being that she was likely expelled now. And maybe…maybe speak to them, have them understand.
By the time she had made it on foot, the evening fell. And what she had seen when she came home dumbfounded her.
Her parents were both there. And they were laughing and celebrating. They had a bottle of wine open. She was at school, crying and screaming herself to sleep every day, and here is how they spent their time while she was away. They're laughing, she thought, devastated. Papa and Mama are enjoying themselves. Is it because I'm not around? They were happy. She was the one that made them miserable. Her existence was but a sad afterthought in their world.
The rage and the pain that had pent up within her bubbled over and spilt; black, hot, gooey and destructive.
They had turned and seen her through the window and she saw their shock and maybe they were trying to explain something at her but it was too late.
She had activated a Trap card and caused all the windows in her family home to break, all the lights to go out. She saw her parents get out but what did it matter? As the pieces of glass fell all around, they were pieces of her home and all her memories within it. She herself had shattered too and she was now full of holes and fragments on the inside; an incomplete and sick thing, something different from a human being. She had turned and ran away, hearing them call for her but not caring. She ran as fast as she could and forced herself to laugh. Because if her parents were laughing, then maybe she could laugh too. She was leaving and she was never coming back.
It was all mostly a blur from that point.
That same night she sneaked back into Duel Academy and into her dorm. There she stuffed any belongings she could take into one travel bag. She had left behind nice clothes, dresses, makeup, books she loved. She took only necessities. Finally, she changed into a small mini skirt and corset, pulled up knee-high socks and threw on a red coat. She's always loved this look but never had a chance to wear it because of the Academy uniform and because her parents said it was inappropriate. Now, if anyone thought she looked like a slut she would relish in this feeling because she had nothing else left to feel, really.
Then she hit the streets.
She had money in a trust fund that her parents hadn't yet been smart to block yet. They also hadn't set a daily limit, having always trusted her with these matters and never expecting her to need money.
She went to the ATM and took out 10 million yen which she stuffed into multiple envelopes and hid in her bag. She may have become homeless but she wouldn't need to sleep outside – she was able to rent out a decent hotel room. In that room she had started spending the majority of her days, only going out to the nearby library and grocery store. But one evening she decided to pay a visit to the dueling underground that she's heard about. But she wanted to keep her identity secret, if possible… So that same day, while passing by a costume store while trying to find a place to eat, she saw a white mask in their window display. If she could hide her face (ugly from all the holes), she could become even more powerful. If she could hide herself in anonymity and conjure another persona, she could do anything.
She had lingered at the shop and found a large purple cape as well.
That night, hiding her face under the mask, she was the most successful duelist in the game. She had let her powers loose. She had become even stronger. There was no limit to her confidence and power. She had put her opponent down like a sick dog and it was only after it was over did she realize that she had a huge smile on her face the whole time. She could do this! She was free!
It didn't take long for her to gain some notoriety and it was addicting. Letting her powers run free, her head tranquil and pure, and all that magical bitter energy that's been pent up just poured out of her. At the end of each day, she felt stronger…freer. And she could finally duel and improve her skills without holding back…and seeing all the people frightened of her and yet some of them still insisting to duel her… She had also started making a little money from betting on herself to win.
One of the evenings, when she returned, she was on yet another winning streak. Her opponent actually shed some tears as he was losing. And watching him with disgust as snot poured down into the corners of his greasy lips, she delivered the finishing blow with Gigaplant.
Afterwards, when she headed to the basement to the dueling ring's manager's office to obtain her hard-earned money, that same greasy opponent followed her. He had cornered her. He said that she was a freak and that she was a cheating little slut and that he needed to teach a girl like her a lesson. Otherwise girls like her would never learn how to behave around adult men. Then his hands started fumbling with the belt on his pants.
That was the first and only time (no, you'll do it more times in the future but things like that aren't natural, they're not meant to happen) that she had summoned a monster without putting it on a duel disk. The vines sprouted out of the device without her even realizing what was happening and smacked the man away, so hard that he hit the wall and slumped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. He wasn't moving.
Sick fear coiled like a snake in her insides. Aki sprinted out of there. Money and everything forgotten. And she ran and ran until her lungs were on fire and then she stopped in an alley and leaned against a wall, trying to catch her breath. Each breath came in ragged and there wasn't nearly enough air to take in.
She didn't know how long she had spent there, in the world all by herself, struggling to recover. Her whole body was shaken and she felt frightened, helpless. She did not want to think about what happened in that basement and what could have happened if... miraculously her duel Monster did not save her. How did she do that without putting down a card? It couldn't have been. She imagined it. She had definitely put a card down and activated it…
"You are magnificent."
Aki jolted at the voice next to her and jumped what could have been two meters.
A tall guy had spoken this. Even in the dark of rainy night she could see the red light in his hair, the emerald in his sharp eyes, and a crooked smile on his lips.
"Who are you, what do you want?" she demanded in a voice that, to her dismay, came out trembling and high pitched. Her hand instinctually jerked to the cards and the disk.
"I had seen you in the dueling arena. The way you've fought and the way you've won. I have never seen anyone like you before. Simply exquisite."
"Then you know what I am capable of?" she was ready to summon a monster to save herself. She was ready to hurt anyone who stood on her way today or who'd even try to touch her.
"I do. I was watching you, Izayoi Aki. You are a Psychic Duelist. Like others with the same powers you are capable of materializing Duel Monsters," the stranger said.
Those words froze her in the spot. Her hand dropped softly from her duel disk. She did not even notice that he had used her name, knowing who she was somehow. "Others…with the same powers?"
"Yes. Including myself," the guy held up a Magic card for her and then pulled the side of his coat to reveal a duel disk. Then he activated the card on it and Aki watched, with wordless wonder, as a rose bush materialized from Solid Vision. He picked off a fragile flower from it – as real as purchased from a store – and handed it to her. Aki reached slowly and accepted it, studying as it gently disappeared in the palm of her hand.
"I…I thought…" she began but didn't know how to finish. She felt like crying and laughing at the same time, completely overwhelmed and suddenly exhilarated.
"That you were alone? No, Izayoi Aki. There are many of us. But none as gifted as you."
"It's a wretched curse," she whispered under her breath. "It's ruined everything. It turned everyone against me. I don't have anyone left."
The guy smiled. He said nothing for a long time, as if savouring her outburst. Finally, what he said was: "I can teach you how to control and grow your power. With me, you can show the world that's betrayed you. You will see it pay for everything it's done to you. Let them all be terrified of what you're capable of…"
His hand reached forward; slowly, tentatively. She watched as if memorized and gasped when he pulled the mask off her face. He drew in a short sharp breath.
"…And be astonished by your beauty," he murmured. He was named Divine.
For the next four days after the duel with Aki-thing, Yusei did the following: slept, talked as little as possible, saw others as little as possible, and worked on his broken D-Wheel.
His emotional state fluctuated violently from numb to deeply pained. It was as if he was on some strong medication and then it'd wear off suddenly and shock and incapacitate him. Did he accept what Mahdi had said and what he had seen, that Aki had died and Jack joined the other side, that there was nothing he could do to fix this broken world or did he believe he could fight this? As his mentality swayed on a ferocious pendulum, one side (She's gone) to another (I can save her), he could barely hold himself from screaming in his powerlessness.
It was easier not to think, not to talk, not to feel.
At night, he was tortured by suffocating nightmares plagued with memory of the pain and perpetual feeling of loss. The first hour in the morning he felt more tired than when he went to bed.
But at the end of each day, as he stepped back and appraised his progress on the D-Wheel, he felt just a little bit stronger and saner. It preoccupied him and placed his ailing mind back into what he knew. He had control over this. He could find the parts, mold them, smooth out the faults and fix this.
As he slowly put the bike back together, he was doing the same for himself.
His friends did not understand but respected his wishes and largely left him alone.
The first two days were difficult, once he's broken the news of Aki and Jack. Later that evening, Carly came by the garage and explained to him, quietly and painfully, that her and Jack had a fight a day prior. She thought he'd just gone off somewhere by himself to think but she didn't think it'd be anything like this! "I think it was all my fault, Yusei," she buried her face in her hands, round trifocal glasses fogged up with tears. "I think I didn't support him enough in the chase for his dream. I think he felt like he had lost it."
Ushio and Mikage visited Poppo Time during all of this and expressed their frustrations. They didn't understand how Public Security still could not catch Jack. The D-Wheel was fast and it may have been challenging during a turbo duel but on the ground?
Yusei had to share with them the apparent finding he'd learned during his duel with "new Mahdi": that it appeared that some parts of Public Security were paid off. Unfortunately, he had no concrete evidence for this but Ushio and Mikage took that tip seriously and, after initial disbelief and denial, promised to investigate.
"We need to find that smug bastard and to beat some sense into him!" Crow raged. Everyone agreed, including heartbroken Carly. Yusei approved lethargically but did not actually do anything. He warned them to be careful but didn't stop Crow and Carly from going out and trying to catch Jack. Instead, he locked himself in the garage, asked Bruno to leave him alone too, and worked there from sunrise until dawn, tolerating only occasional disruptions.
The only good news during this tortuous time were that at least the blood duels had finished with the death of original Mahdi. That, despite his apparent resurrection through Aki, those duels had not started up.
At least not yet.
The third day went by quietly. The fourth day was the most challenging.
Crow did his usual rounds. He came to check up on him in the morning while he worked. Asked how he was. Yusei always answered that he was doing fine. Then Crow would share any news he's missed and then go off to do his pizza deliveries, only to come back late at night and check in again. Rinse and repeat.
On that fourth day, Crow lingered. Yusei did not realize that he hadn't left right away until he accidentally looked up and saw him standing nearby with a guilty look on his face.
"Crow, what's wrong?"
"I don't know how long I can keep it. It's been eating me inside, Yusei," he answered quietly. "I think…it was my fault. What happened with Aki."
"How?" Yusei asked vacantly. Not really invested or ready to believe in what his friend would say. After all, how could any of it be possibly due to Crow's doing?
"Jack and I were going to challenge Mahdi instead of you that day. The day you were originally going to duel him but Aki went instead."
"Jack told me that before I went to rescue her. But never why."
"Because we did not want you to be the one to do everything. We wanted to help you. You understand, don't you? We've always thought you've been burdened with too much. We only wanted to help."
"You should have talked to me first," Yusei responded, still apathetically.
"Would you have listened? Would you have agreed with us?"
Yusei looked away. "I don't know." To be honest, he actually wished Crow would wrap this up already so he could resume his work and not have to think.
"That's why we tried doing this behind your back. We weren't sure. We just wanted to help."
Yusei said nothing.
"You've had it tough, Yusei. We know. We noticed," Crow said. "So when all those blood duels happened… You know, we all thought Mahdi was probably targeting you. He…he told me during my duel that he was looking for the owner of the Sky Dragon. It was you. That's why, we thought we could-"
Yusei looked up, quickly, suddenly as if having awoken from a dream state. "What did you say?"
Crow paused. "Sorry?"
"You…knew that he wanted to find the owner of the Osiris card? That he was going after me? Did you know he was Set?"
"Oh. Not like... Well. We didn't know but we suspected he may have been."
"And…no one told me?" Yusei asked, slowly. Not when I asked you to your face if you remembered anything from your duel with Mahdi and you told me you didn't? Not when I made plans to duel him? No one warned me? "Who else knew? Did Aki know?"
"She…" Crow gulped and had to look away. "Jack and I thought this may have been the case. It was just a theory then, Yusei. We thought we could attempt at dueling him, just in case it was true. I didn't want to tell you anything in case it was nothing, just a stupid thought I had." He repeated it again then: "We only wanted to help you. To take some responsibility off you."
"I get that," Yusei interrupted, harshly. Right now he honestly did not care for any of Crow's useless excuses, he only wanted to hear the whole story. "Did Aki know? Did you tell her? Is that what you wanted to say?" Is that what you feel guilty about? Tell me the truth!
"Yes…" Crow answered quietly and quickly began talking before he could say anything: "But I only told her during your duel with Jean! I just wanted to get her thoughts on it. I told her what I knew and what our plan was. She agreed with us! And she told me at the hospital, when we were waiting for you. I guess before Mahdi took her over or whatever. She said that she went to duel Mahdi that night because she wanted to help… You know, to take some responsibility off you… After…After what I've said to her."
Yusei's eyes were wide. He was staring. Inside him, a latch on a gate had broken and released that same sick, helpless energy he felt when he brought down a pipe repeatedly on his D-Wheel: consuming anger, crushing devastation.
"And that was because of what I'd said. Yusei, I'm…" Crow faced him, exasperated. "Yusei, I'm so sorry! It was all my fault! It's killing me on the inside, I had to tell you. Please…I had to tell you."
Yusei looked away, trying to calm his breathing. The repairing D-Wheel was in front of him but he only saw red, detached (disembodied) flashes of it. He wanted to pick up the wrench and smash all that progress away again. It wasn't what you've told her, Crow, he thought, looking over the D-Wheel rapidly but not seeing. It's what you haven't told me. What you've kept from me. If only I knew. If only I wasn't in the dark. I had searched for her in panic that night, I had gone to find her tied up and drugged, I had watched that bastard torture her and there was nothing I could do. I didn't know what happened, I didn't understand how it all came to that. Instead, in-between gasps for air, he managed to say: "I… I can't talk to you right now, Crow."
"Yusei, please."
Get out. GET OUT! "I can't talk to you anymore," he said firmly. I don't want to see you again, don't ever come near me. "Leave me alone," he ended the conversation and turned his back to him. He closed his mind and put all his attention to continuing repairing the D-Wheel, letting the manual work overtake the desperation in his head.
Crow was staring at him, completely crestfallen. Not saying anything anymore but not leaving. His phone buzzed on vibrate, calling him on the deliveries, but he wouldn't pick it up.
Yusei worked on the bike and soon found it easy to forget anything else. No more Crow, no Jack, no Aki, nothing else but the machine in front of him. It's calmed his heart rate, anaesthetized his emotions, purged his thoughts. It must have been ten minutes before he turned to look for the blowtorch and accidentally noticed that Crow still had not left. Nor said a word. He was standing off on the side, still as a statue, staring at the ground. His face was red. It was then that Yusei also realized that he was sniffling wetly every couple of seconds or so.
The sick resentment was gone and all that's surfaced was the melancholy and encompassing regret. "Crow."
"No, it's fine, you're right, Yusei," the red-haired Signer mumbled. "I fucked up royally. I know and I admit it. It got you killed and now Aki is that…that thing, and Jack is out there terrorizing the city like an asshole he used to be."
"No," Yusei got up from the floor with a heavy sigh. Now that he had cooled down he could try being rational and objective, finally, without blowing a fuse. "No, it wasn't your fault."
"Wasn't it? How can you possibly believe otherwise?" his friend attempted with a small voice.
"Because there were too many things that had lead up to what's happened. It doesn't belong to a single person."
"I think maybe it belongs to me a little more."
"I think it all belongs to Set. He's started this whole destiny and got all of us involved. We are victims in his wake."
"You really think so, Yusei? You mean that? I'm so sorry," he hastily rubbed a sleeve across his eyes.
"I do. It's the only truth. This guilt and regret…I have them too." I think about what happened every hour of every day, Yusei thought. I replay the scenario, changing a little thing, imagining how it'd fix what's happened. Rewind and repeat. "It's easy to pass on the fault, to find somebody to blame. And if we blame ourselves and don't try to move on… it will only break all of us faster. We can't afford this. We are only four Signers remaining. We need our joined strength." Do I even believe what I've said to him or is this just to make him feel better?
"Do you want to punch me though? I think it'll make you feel even better," Crow suggested encouragingly.
"No."
"A freebie on me? Well, if you're sure."
"It's fine. Truce?" he held out his hand. "Just…speak to me, next time. No secrets."
"Yeah," Crow shook it. "I promise. As long as you let us help you, sometimes?"
"Deal," Yusei agreed despite the reluctance in his heart. I know I need to let people help in impossible tasks. But how can I after what's happened? A fear of a day, of a choice, of a mistake that's sent everything crumbling down. It had come true. "Forgive me for snapping at you earlier, Crow. I haven't been myself lately," he rubbed his tired eyes and let a glimpse of the helpless darkness inside him peak through: "After seeing Aki and Jack like that. I don't remember when I've ever been as…incapable." I feel crushed under my own powerlessness.
"Well, no shit! We know. Nobody blames you. You just take all the time you need. Then we'll talk about the next steps. I'm sorry too. I will never stop being sorry. For what I've said, for what I've done… It really hurts to think about. The mistakes."
"Yeah. I know," Yusei frowned and looked away to the distance, zoning out, retreating into a shell of regret, the circle of doubt. All the mistakes. And if nothing can be fixed? What if it's over? Do we give up? Aki…Aki, what can I do?
Crow left him alone soon after, rushing because he was terribly late for work, and promised to bring more pizza in the evening. Last thing he did before leaving was to give him an official envelope from the city of Neo Domino, saying that Yeagar entrusted him to pass it on at the hospital but that Crow's forgotten about it until now.
Yusei ripped open the envelope and read the letter, feeling remorse and another level of depression settle into him.
It had a standard introduction. Yeagar inquired of his health and said he hoped he was feeling better. Then business: the mayor was proposing that he joins the Momentum development team, to continue the research his father had started. He would start in a very senior role and he would be allowed to give it a shot and walk if anything wasn't to his liking. The board of counsellors voted unanimously in favour of this whole proposition. "It would be a beneficial and mutual partnership, for Neo Domino and for us all," Yeagar had written. Enclosed was a contract with a shockingly generous salary offer (numbers of zeros he never thought he'd see) and which Yeagar said was also up for negotiation. Annual bonus, sick days, vacation days, the whole package.
In the closing paragraph the mayor said he looked forward to his decision and to speaking to him soon. As well as that by taking advantage of this opportunity, he would continue his heroic path and take his father's legacy into the future, attaining greatness for himself and for the city that they all know he's capable of.
Yusei looked up from the letter and into the darkness of the garage, illuminated only by the small slits of windows near the ceiling and the slip of light coming through the door that Crow did not entirely close upon exit.
This letter and job offer showed a bright road laid out in front of him. The future he could only have dreamt of.
But it wasn't the future that he wanted anymore. Not with the way things were now. Not without bringing Jack back. Not without trying to save Aki. He had seen the dream of the future, of what could have been, but now he needed Aki in it, too. Maybe this offer could have been accepted today if this had never happened. Maybe if he and Aki never got together. If none of this had ever happened.
This thought had unsettled him and he suppressed a shiver.
He put the letter away and returned his entire attention to fixing the D-Wheel. He let tranquility saturate into him and energy into his working hands. He purged all other thoughts from his head until it was late evening and he had to stop his efforts. Neck was sore, muscles stiff but as he appreciated the progress for the day he saw he had succeeded with more than he thought was possible. Despite tiredness he felt determined. Stronger. Healthier.
He vaguely remembered Crow stopping by sometime back, bringing more pizza and exchanging words that he could not recall. He chewed on cold dough and waited for Bruno to come to the garage.
The mysterious mechanic was there at the hour he promised yesterday. He handed him an oversized black jacket, a black cap and importantly – a new ID.
"How was it today?" Yusei asked.
"Busier than before. A lot have flocked to get away from Jack, it seems. He challenges FDA members formally and they can choose to refuse. It's only those that aren't part of it that have been ambushed and forced to duel."
"Interesting approach," Yusei said, tucking his hair under the cap.
Bruno answered the next question before it was asked, knowing it was coming: "I didn't see Aki anywhere. I've looked."
"Thank you, Bruno," he fixed the large jacket over himself. Coupled with the hat he looked like a different person.
"My D-Wheel is outside," Bruno gestured and came over to study the work in progress. "You're doing great work fixing it. You sure you don't want me to finish while you're out?"
And knowing Bruno, he could probably finish the rest tonight and implement some unpredictable improvements to it as well. He could probably do this in as short as a few hours. But Yusei declined his gratuitous offer. "This is something I need to fix all by myself. I'm close, anyhow. Fifth day tomorrow. I may be done by nighttime."
"If you say so," Bruno stepped away. "Good luck today."
"Thanks. For everything," Yusei stated and went out.
He was back at Poppo Time three hours later.
He went directly upstairs to his room. There he took off the borrowed clothes and sat down on the bed, placing a hand over the red coat by his side.
With his new disguise and ID, he was able to get into Free Duelists Association through the front door. This organization was no longer so secret anymore. It seemed like the whole Neo Domino dueling community was here now.
He and the rest of the good Signers were explicitly banned from entering the building. Carly was still banned, same way as from day one, due to her journalistic afflictions. Bruno was of incredible help because he could go there as he pleased due to being an unknown factor.
Checking for his own name on the ranking list Yusei saw that he was crossed out from the top spot. He was put into the cautionary pile, along with Crow, Rua and Ruka (who'd receive an official rejection when they turn 16 years old), and Team Ragnarok. He wondered if it was because the team protected by the North gods decided they wanted nothing with this farce and left the city. Mahdi did mention that he researched them.
Aki's name was nowhere to be found, at all.
Jack was now the top-ranking duelist on the list.
Actually, Jack appeared to have achieved his kingly dream already.
There was a throne built for him at the top balcony floor. He could watch and oversee every duel multiple levels down. Through those transparent windows that reached all the way to the ceiling he was also visible to everyone as the King he now was. And there he sat, observing all, sipping champagne. Halfway through he got up and announced over the microphone that he would turbo-duel the next brave challenger. There were loud cheers throughout the stadium and soon Yusei stood by the sidelines, watching as Jack's Wheel of Fortune drove by and he was summoning the Red Daemon's Dragon like it was all normal business. Yusei watched him from the shadows, a fallen duelist, like the way he watched him from the pits of Satellite while Jack ruled Neo Domino. Jack Atlas, behaving that same cocky and proud way he had done in the past, when he backstabbed them all, almost caused Rally to drown and stole Stardust and his D-Wheel. But his eyes were still pitch black, the same way that Dark Signer Kiryu's were. All underlying kindness and selflessness that he expressed for Team 5D's after the Fortune Cup and Dark Signers arcs passed, entirely evaporated.
Yusei also got to see some new wild cards that he played. Whether obtained from other duelists or from this place, they were truly powerful. Yusei even wondered if he'd be able to beat him if it came to that. But since he's been discarded it looked like he needn't bother to defend his title anymore in the underground dueling world.
Finally, Yusei was able to get a glimpse of Aki. Or that thing that took over her. She was in the somewhat tinted control room close to Jack's throne chamber, where he and her noticed Mahdi for the first time here. He couldn't get close enough to see well but she appeared busy and involved. She was holding conversations with men in suits. She was still wearing the same black riding suit she wore during their duel. That "thing" was smiling on her behalf and navigating effortlessly, confidently. Closing business deals or creating new ones.
Yusei had to leave very soon after that. It had become difficult.
In his room, pensively reflecting on what he'd seen that night, he picked up Aki's sleeveless red coat and just held it. The same coat that she'd taken off and put over him while he lay near death. The coat that soaked in his blood and was brought back home by Crow. Washed and tended clean, probably by Carly.
He took medicine for the night, as well as a sleeping pill, and let exhaustion drag him into unconsciousness.
Okay I'm hoping that this will be the last of these slow, sad 'recovery' chapters. Starting with the next, things will start moving and Yusei can at least try doing something about this situation. But I'm glad I at least gave him a few days to wallow in misery, I think we all have or have had days like this.
Thank you all again who bothered reading this and stay tuned.