Screen: Gentlemen~ First things first, I had a lot of fun with this one. I used to have Jaune's speech here memorized! I need to get back to that... Anyway, with the finale coming out over this time, I felt it best to bring this into the fic. Now, I could have made Jaune play the protagonist, but where's the fun in that~?

King: ... The fuck?

Screen: What?

King: Why are you here?! This is supposed to be my space to speak to the readers! How did you even get here?!

Screen: No idea~!

King: Ugh... Whatever. Like the glorified canvas said...

Screen: Hey!

King: This was fun to write and I hope you enjoy it. The next chapter is already decided (you'll see why soon), so keep this in mind. Also, this little skit is totally a filler to get the word count to an acceptable level.

Screen: Nope.

King: Pardon?

Screen: I'm canon, baby~ Not filler.

King: ... shit.

Inspiration: Hellsing Ultimate Abridged

/\

The screen was allowed to pick this one. This can only end well…

The first thing to see was a series of lights passing by. They could also hear footsteps on a metal floor. Then, they heard someone speaking, by the voice they could tell it was that guy Watts that showed up with Salem. "I'd say that was a complete success."

The camera moved to show Watts walking behind Jaune, dressed in a white military uniform. "You zink it vent vell? Herr doctor. I vas zere." He spoke with the same accent as his time as the Medic. "Und much like our former boss…" He turned to Watts and had a large grin on his face. "I killed it."

Ruby groaned in her seat, "Another Psycho-Jaune…"

The two approached as a chair descended from the ceiling, "Zen let's hope ze same does not happen to ze Major~" Sitting on the chair/throne was Blake, complete with her cat ears, dressed in kaki shorts and a tan uniform. "Ve don't have ze freezer space for ze accidental leftovers." It was hard to tell if this Blake was male or female.

Yang grinned seeing this. "Damn. There's a joke here…"

King appeared for a moment, "And how would you know that?"

"What?"

"The joke is Schrödinger's Cat. A scientific/philosophical experiment where the subject is considered both alive and dead until such a time as it has been observed."

"That's… actually what I was going for… Why do I know that?"

"Hmm…" King disappeared again.

Jaune chuckled, "Ah~ Doctor, usually it is considered a faux pa to give a pet as a gift. But I love her!"

Blake felt her eye twitch, "Pet?" She was not happy to hear that word.

Yang, however, nodded, "Okay then. Girl. That was figured out."

Watts grabbed Blake's shirt collar and pulled her off the chair. "Major! I am so sorry for her disrespect!" Blake was an experiment created by Doctor Watts, and therefore his responsibility.

"Experi… What?!" Blake was just confused now.

Blake had been formed splicing several creature's DNA into a single form. Not quite human, certainly a monster. But… then again, most of them were by now.

Jaune laughed it off and took his seat. "Do not vorry. I enjoy a bit of playful cattiness among my staff."

Blake pointed an accusatory finger toward Yang and Tai, "Not a word!"

Both were stuck in a pre-pun pose.

Jaune smirked, as the chair ascended into a massive room with electronic maps. "Soon, our little Emerald will be in place. Such a clear threat will have to met by the Schnee family's dog. And zen, ve will finally be ready to proceed."

One of the soldiers to the side, dressed in a black uniform with a red armband, called out to the group. "Blackbird jet on route to ze carrier!"

"Excellent. Zis fight vill be a slaughter." His plan was simple, lure Neptune off into the sea.

Neptune blinked in a bit of shock, "Okay… So, I'm the 'Schnee family's dog'?"

And once there, he'll be stuck for the foreseeable duration of events. As a vampire, he cannot swim.

Neptune's eyes went wide, "I'm a what?!"

The soldier from before turned around again, "Contact! The plane touched down on the carrier!"

Jaune grinned, "Bring up ze video feed."

The screen showed Emerald, armed with an old musket rifle, standing opposite Neptune dressed in a long red trench coat. The entire carrier was on fire with a giant hulk of metal that used to be an airplane sticking up from the surface.

Emerald was freaking out. This was the hellish vampire, the prince of evil, who is said to cast shadow on darkness itself. She shook, but she regained her composure despite her fears. "I… I am Emerald Sustrai! And I command your respect!"

Neptune seemed unfazed, "No. You demand my attention."

Emerald fired her bullet into Neptune's shoulder, only to have it spin around and fly through his gut as well. It continued over and over, puncturing the vampire as it went. "I don't have to take this from you! You racist, degenerate, patriarch propagating, misogynistic pig!"

Neptune smiled and caught the bullet in his teeth. "The funny thing is…" He snapped his jaw shut and shattered the lead ball in his teeth.

Ruby felt a shiver run up her spine. To catch an apparently magic bullet in his teeth and snap it apart with just his teeth! That was just crazy!

"In any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the 40s, I hate everyone equally, and there isn't anyone alive who could comprehend my sexual preference." Neptune punched Emerald in the jaw and held her against the steel of the carrier, her ow rifle pointed toward her chest. He pushed the barrel into her chest until popped through the other side.

Emerald recoiled in pain seeing that.

Even Mercury grumbled. That was just… twistedly messed up.

Jaune watched the whole scene. When it ended, he waved his hand, "Zat's enough." The feed ended and Jaune stood, a giant grin on his face. "Gather ze troops~"

Ruby groaned, "He just watched a girl get impaled on a rifle! Why is he smiling?!"

Winter groaned, "Worst of all… she seemed to be his own soldier…"

After some time, a series of men in black uniforms gathered in two columns before Jaune. He grinned as he addressed the troops. "Gentlemen… Operation Gem Bait was a resounding success! Neptune is incapacitated on ze carrier, and our true goal can begin at once!"

Emerald felt a growl forming her throat, "I was… just bait?"

Mercury groaned, "That's… seriously messed up."

"However… before ve can begin, I need to address some rumors floating about ze ship. Zere are rumors about stating zat I… like… var!"

Ironwood was familiar with rumors like that. People constantly believing he was a war hawk or a madman.

"I vish to dash zese rumors! I do not like var…"

Ironwood sighed. He hated the idea of war but saw it as an evil we may never be rid of. Surely, he was the same…

"I… LOVE… var!"

Ironwood was genuinely shocked. He had never met a man that genuinely loved war. Even the worst of war hawks in Atlas only saw it as a tool to a larger goal, not the goal itself.

"Zrough my life, I have discovered so many kinds of var! You get un in ze morning, you get into your shitty car, und you see a rich CEO who works half as hard as you do drive down the street in his Porsche! Class Var."

Eyes turned to Weiss and Winter for half a second. It didn't linger given the two had already proven themselves beyond the rich girl stereotypes. Their father and brother on the other hand… not so much.

"You make it to vork, vhere you find out ze annual drug test is today, and you just so happen to take a puff of your one-hitter a couple nights ago before dinner with your vife's awful parents! Drug Var."

Roman adjusted his cigar in his teeth. He considered peddling drugs back when, but it never came to anything. He preferred the more noble type of crime, grand larceny.

"But zen, you find out it is only your black and Hispanic coworkers that are being tested! Race Var."

Velvet, Blake, Ilia, Kali, Sienna, and Gira sighed in annoyance. But they were able to see their situations better now from both sides. Though, Ilia was still coping with that and would likely snap at someone who tried to challenge her on the issue right now.

"Zen you try to post about it on your Facebook and everyone gets up in arms about vhat's right und vhat's wrong! Flame War."

Neo turned to Cinder for a moment, only because of the word 'flame.'

"You finally get home, and you decide to vatch a program about, vhat's in ze box? Who gets ze box? How much is vhat's in ze box worth? Storage Wars~" Jaune chuckled at his joke based on a television program.

Yang would laugh, but the situation wasn't exactly too funny so far.

Jaune took a breath before continuing, "Vat I am telling you, my Nazi Army of one zousand vampires, is zat I am a purveyor of var!"

Penny's head tilted, "What's a Nazi?"

King appeared again, "A group in this world formed on the ideal of National Socialism, the principle that the government should control resources and act as a powerful safety net for the people of Germany."

"That doesn't seem that bad…"

"They were also responsible for a bit over 6 million murders in a government-led, mass genocide effort. Acting as the catalysts to bring that very word into existence. Killing men, women, and children by gas, gun, or starvation, only to burn the bodies or bury them all in mass graves."

"Never mind!"

"Und, vith your help, we are at ze precipice of our true goal! You see, I vant a simple var. No class vars, no drug vars, no race vars, no flame vars, UND CERTAINLY NO COLD VARS!" Jaune's anger gave out for a moment of pained reflection, "Blue-balled for 40 years… Vat I vant is a war only ve can bring! A true var! A German var! Ze sequal, you've all been vaiting for! I… VANT… VORLD VAR III!"

"World War III?" Ruby looked up to the fireball, silently asking for an answer.

King sighed, "In this reality, there were two large scale conflicts spanning the entirety of the globe. The first was once called the Great War and was responsible for the death of a generation of young men on the continent. The first modern war and the most hellish kind of reality. They hoped it would be the War to End All Wars. They were wrong. Mismanagement of the peace terms and capitulation politics led to a second conflict with equally disastrous numbers. This was the conflict spurred on by the Nazi Party. And now, he wishes for a third war, after nearly fifty years without a comparable conflict."

The soldiers all raised a single hand upward at an angle. All chanting, "SEIG HEIL!" over and over again. These were no longer men, but monsters (literally, they were vampires). These were soldiers, but fanatics. And they would soon descend on London, capital of the United Kingdom. For tonight, London shall fall. Buckingham Palace laid to waste. Big Ben toppled to the ground. The Houses of Parliament eradicated. The Tower of London annihilated! But they'll leave the Holocaust museum. No one shall deny what they have done. By night's end, nearly a million people would be dead, the Nazi swastika burned into the city itself. The War has begun~

As the screen ended, Cinder looked up toward King, "You said there wasn't a war like the last ones for a long time. Why was that?"

King sighed. "You really want to know then? So be it." The next world was set. It would likely last only a moment. But it's effects would ring on for eternity.