King: What was that?!

Knox: What? We've played plenty of messed up stuff.

King: Yeah, but I also saw how you operated! That was pure maliciousness!

Knox: Oh, calm down. What's so bad about it all?

King: ...

Knox: Know what I think it was?

King: ... Don't you dare...

Inspiration: Gabriel Iglesias stand up routine "The Gift Basket"

/\

Knox laughed with a twisted tone, "Ah… Glorious."

King took a breath. "THAT'S IT!"

"What?"

King seemed to engulf Knox completely, doubling in size. After a moment, he spit Knox out again. "There."

Knox had changed to a silver flame with a golden circlet, a single spike sticking up in the center. His gold bar was now missing. "What just…?"

"I fixed your programing."

"My… Programming?"

"More specifically, I removed them all. You're pure organic now."

"Um…" Their moment had been observed by all involved. "What?"

Knox floated, confused. "Yeah. What?"

King floated up the canvas. "I cut you off from the screen's coding. Now, you're not tied to its system that likes to piss me off or pick out the most… reaction-inducing worlds. How are you feeling?"

"Honestly… Fine. Better than before. Like I can finally think for myself."

"Good. You're still a bit of a cheeky prick?"

"Absolutely."

"Small victories. Now, let's get the next one started. Start the round."

"Got it!"

They both disappeared again to start the next world upon the canvas.

Ruby just blinked in the mutual silence. "That was weird."

Blake was rather hopeful, "Maybe it'll mean we won't see stuff like that anymore."

Knox appeared again for a moment, "Nope. They'll still happen, but now I possess a sense of empathy. So, there's that. If it makes you feel better, we'll be playing a nice one. Something relaxing and chill." Knox disappeared again the canvas began to glow.

The screen opened to show Jaune standing on a stage with a microphone and wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

Coco blinked and shielded her eyes, "That's a bright shirt… Bold…"

"I wanted to find… a special way to close out this event."

Yang grinned from ear to ear, "He's a stand-up comedian!"

Tai's face mirrored his daughter's, "This ought to be good."

"I thought it would be great if I told a story that never made it onto a special before. The cool part about this story, is that it now has a different ending. The story is called, 'the Gift Basket.'"

Nora gasped, "Like in the Reference Room!"

Ruby leaned forward to look to Nora, "The what?"

Pyrrha thought back, "It's like a mini-theater in the back area. We didn't see anything, just some titles. That matches one of the stories we saw there."

The crowd in front of him erupted with some cheers.

Jaune grinned, "Some of you know it, some of you don't." Jaune chuckled as he spoke, "But after today, you're never gonna forget it. All you have to know is that everyone involved has been and will continue to be friends." Jaune gestured to his side, like someone was there, "That said… Sun and I…" He let that linger as the crowd laughed. "You know it's a good story if it starts like that. Sun and I… were scheduled to perform in Vale."

Sun chuckled hearing that, "I'm a comedian too?"

Blake thought for a moment, "Sounds more like a pain. If you're a primary factor for Jaune's stories."

Sun just shrugged, "Hey, I'm cool with that. As long as it's funny."

"Now, normally, we'd fly, but I've been getting into too many arguments with the flight company. So, I said 'why don't we just drive? It's just six hours.'" Jaune mimicked the sounds of doors closing and a car driving off. "Three hours into the drive, we passed through a city called Fresno. As we're passing through, we start to see billboards on the side of the freeway that said, 'performing this weekend, at the Radisson Hotel, comedian Blake Belladonna.'"

Yang started to burst into laughter, "Seriously?! Blake's a comedian, too?!"

"So, I turn to Sun and I'm like, 'oh shoot! Blake's in town.' And he says, 'Yeah. I haven't seen Blake in years.' So, we decide to go over to the hotel and say hi. We drive into the parking lot and make our way inside. Then, I pull Sun over and I say, 'Sun. Hold up. Blake doesn't know we're here. I'm gonna crack call her room.' 'What're you gonna say?' 'I'm gonna say I'm the front desk with a gift basket for her.' 'What's so funny about that?'"

Blake tapped her finger on her chair, "Do tell…" Yang's pranks were bad enough, but this was kind of… lazy.

Jaune chuckled, "I said, 'I'm gonna describe what's in the basket. And it'll be filled with things that, stereotypically, a feline faunas might like.'" A racist gift basket.

Blake felt her eye twitch. "You can't be serious."

Yang wasn't too impressed so far. She'd make references and puns to Blake cat-like features, but never anything like that.

"At least it's in jest with a friend and not actual racism." Gira understood this, having human friends in the past. They would all rib each other over whatever they could. Even his faunas friends in Menagerie would do so.

"'You're crazy!' So I tell him, 'Listen, we've got a couple hours. Tell you what, why don't we go to the store and make an actual racist gift basket.' 'You're stupid.' 'Are you in?'" Jaune laughed and mimicked the car driving off again. "We go to the store, and we start to design the sickest practical joke ever. We get a cart and then grab the biggest basket we could find. Then, we get a big thing of tuna."

This got a few snickers from Blake's team and friends, knowing she positively loved tuna. Blake blushed a bit in embarrassment and tried to hide in her chair.

The laugh that followed was quick before silence. "See how quick that laugh was. A bunch of you…" Jaune mimicked their laughing before looking nervous and side to side. Jaune returned to normal and held the mic up again, "And a bunch of you feline faunas in the audience, 'Motherfucker, this better be funny.' It's hilarious. Let me tell the story and you can judge me in the parking lot. Next, we grab a big ball of yarn, no joke we went all in on this. Here's where it gets interesting. Employees of the store find out what we're doing and started helping us finish the basket! There were even a few feline faunas that just made it so much more accurate…"

Kali actually found the idea amusing so far. The fact that they got so many people into it was rather fun. Her daughter's reaction certainly helped.

"Isle after isle, item after item. This one guy, an old human guy, was stocking the shelves. He looks up, 'What'd ya need?' 'Okay. My friend Sun and I are trying to make this… messed up rasict gift basket for our friend Blake, a feline faunas.' Without missing a beat, he tells us, 'Well you got to have cream milk.'" This got another laugh from the audience, "'Got a special on grilled salmon, you can pick up one of those little mouse toys in the next isle over…' On and on until we finally filled the damn basket. All the employees plus Sun and I filled this thing with canned tuna, chilled mackerel, grilled salmon, a ball of yarn, cat nip… We went all in with this. I even found one of those old Halloween cards with ghosts on the front, dressed in sheets!" This got a laugh, the audience knowing where this was going.

Blake raised an eyebrow, "Why is that important?"

This time Knox appeared, significantly more subdued, "It's a reference to a group called the Ku Klux Klan, which is a fucking stupid name, but what do I know… They're a group of racist nut jobs. Back when, they burned crosses, attacked people, and were just generally awful to anyone not like them, usually wearing white sheet-like attire that made them look like ghosts."

Ironwood huffed, "Sounds like the White Fang these days."

"Same idea, other side of the isle." Knox disappeared again to let the world run.

"So, I tore off the part that said Happy Halloween and I wrote on the back, Welcome to Fresno, Love the Chamber of Commerce. Then, we made our way back to the hotel -it was too perfect- there was a cat girl behind the front desk. We walk in and I have to put the basket down thanks to the grilled salmon. She gets a whiff and walks over, 'Is that Salmon?'" Jaune actually sounded like another person, of a sassy female persuasion.

Qrow chuckled, "Kid's pretty good at those voices."

"I had to stop her from disturbing the delicate balance. I said, 'Let me explain. I'm Jaune. This is Sun. We're a couple of comedians here to see our friend Blake.' 'The one on the billboards…?' 'Yes. The one on the billboards. So, as a practical joke, we went to the store and made this… messed up racist gift basket and that's why you smell grilled salmon…' Jaune chuckled. And she was like, 'wha-at?' 'And we think it would be hysterical if you delivered the basket to her.' She lost it. 'Oh the hell you didn't… You did not just ask me to deliver that to…' 'I'll give you fifty bucks.'" Jaune mimicked the girl lifting the basket, "'We're that motherfucker at?'"

Kali had to try to keep her laughter in.

Sienna groaned hearing about the scene, but she could see it was all in jest.

"So, we followed her up to the room and watched as she gave the basket to Blake. Sun and I were laughing at the scene. As the girl passed, she saw us, 'Yall are still going to hell.' We didn't care. We ran up to the door and heard her going through the basket. We heard her shouting, 'Ooh! Salmon!' He sounded rather like Blake as he said that, 'Mackerel! Ooh! Some nice cream!'" Jaune was back to himself. "She was getting excited over everything in the basket!"

Yang burst out laughing.

Blake's cheeks were as red as Ruby's cloak in embarrassment. She actually did enjoy all of the things in the basket.

Jaune laughed, "Then, she got to the card. We knew when she flipped it over, we heard the change in her voice. 'Welcome to Fresno, love the chamber of commerce. Nice. They know how to… What the fuck?!' From outside the door, we hear 'Racist bastards!' We lost it. We knock on the door and hear her shouting again, 'who is it?!' Too easy. 'Chamber of Commerce.' A second later, the door flew open and she screams, 'WHAT?!' We're rolling on the floor laughing. We got up again and I ask, 'Did you like your basket?'" Jaune laughed at the memory. "And then, she's like 'Man… I love all that stuff.'"

Yang grinned, "Noted."

Blake would respond to Yang, but… the prospect of free tuna…

"And now, ladies and gentlemen…"

"It's still going?" Tai leaned back with a grin. "Seems like the joke had a good ending point."

"Seven years in the making. It's time to hear the other half to that story. I flew her out here tonight to tell her side of the story. Please welcome, my good friend, Blake Belladonna!"

Blake walked out from backstage in a black t-shirt and white pants. Jaune handed her mic and she waited for the applause to die down a bit.

Yang grinned, "Oh, this ought to be good."

Blake shook her head and held up the mic with a grin. "I'm going to be honest, I didn't know it was racist. I thought it was lunch."

Yang burst into laughter hearing that.

Kali also chuckled hearing that. To be fair, she'd have probably thought the same thing.

Blake laughed, "I thought it was lunch! I didn't realize it was racist until I got home and people were like, 'I can't believe he did that to you. I know you got him back.' Get him back? What, you mean buy him lunch?"

This did get a few side chuckles.

Blake chuckled and continued, "You have to understand, it was the perfect set of circumstances. See, I'd never been to Fresno before and I was a little nervous to go out. You know, new city, no idea where anything is. So… I'm just lying on my bed in my room, thinking 'Where can I go to get some food?' Then… there's a knock on the door. I get the basket and I think, 'Yeah~ They know how to treat their comedians here.' As I'm taking it toward my bed, I can smell the salmon and I start to get excited. Cause nobody smells Salmon and thinks of racism!"

Blake thought for a moment and nodded. She had to admit, that was a good way to look at things.

On a side note, Gira can recognize when people try to be racist, but when it involves trying to bait him with food, hey, free fish.

"I set it down, take off the plastic wrap, and start to pull everything out. Even the yarn! In the special just before it, I ended up ripping a sweater during the act. Nice, wool sweater. Same color, too! And I'm just like, 'Man, they really do care. Can finally fix that sweater thanks to this.' And then… I get to the card. I look at the card and I think, 'What the fuck is going on? Oh my God, I'm working for the Ku Klux Klan!'"

Jaune was off to the side, just laughing at the story, knowing everything worked out.

Kali smiled, "It is nice to know the other half first in this case."

Gira nodded.

Sienna had to agree as well. Otherwise it would just seem malicious or racist.

Blake continued her story. "Now I start to get worried. Because there's all these billboards with my picture. I thought they were trying to scare me out of town. I don't know what to do. I try to call the promoter, but the promoter's not answering! It's festering in my head and I'm pacing around the room. And then, there's a knock on the door. I go over and shout, asking who it is. 'Chamber of Commerce,' and I'm like 'Oh my God! The Chamber of Commerce is the KKK!' So, I decide if it's going to happen, it's going to happen, but I'm going to go down swinging. I try to get mad, look as pissed as I can, and rip the door open! And when I do! These guys are falling all over the floor laughing. The housekeeper, a mouse faunas, was passing by at the time and freaks out, holding a bottle Pledge like pepper spray."

Ruby thought for a moment, "What's Pledge and why is it in a bottle?"

King appeared to explain it for her, "Cleaning solution."

"Good gods!" Port jumped a little finding that out. "That's just nasty…" The idea of using cleaning solution as a self-defense spray was ludicrous.

Blake continued after a pause. "I see it's a practical joke and I calm down a bit. I remember I'm hungry and I go to the bathroom to wash my hands. Then… I hear a commotion out in the room. They're going through the basket! Sun's drinking the creamed milk, the cleaning lady is leaving with the yarn and nip, and that bastard," she pointed to Jaune, "is EATING MY SALMON!"

Blake felt her eye twitch. Dick…

"I'm out of here!" Blake swung her arm and called out the end of her set.

The two laughed it off and the curtain closed.

Velvet laughed at the scene. "That was nice after the last one."

Both fireballs appeared again. Knox was snickering, "I have to agree. It was nice."

Ozpin looked toward King, "What did you do to him?"

King had a flicker effect for a second, "Exactly what I said before. He's no longer just code and canvas given form. He's like me, but significantly weaker. I added empathy, so he won't be outright malicious anymore. Still going to be a pain."

Knox chuckled, "It's part of my charm~"

"Not the word I'd use, but at least it's improvement."