King: Happy Halloween!

Knox: Enjoy the day of spookiness!

King: Now, let's enjoy getting scary~

Knox: No shit we were doing this. But come on, any day but Halloween? Really? Dude's our favorite character in the show.

King: Speaking of, congratulations to Vivziepop and the gang for getting picked up! I wish you all luck moving forward and hope you kept creative control. See you Hell~!

Knox: That would sound so bad outside of context.

King: Yep~ Now, I hope you all enjoy.

Inspiration: Hazbin Hotel's Alastor / Alastor's Game by the Living Tombstone / the HuniCast

(Note: This wasn't showing up for some reason, so I'm attempting to republish it to the story. x2)

/\

And so began a new round. A new story. This can only end well.

The screen opened without anyone having a moment.

The scene opened to show a woman walking through a white hallway. She was older and wore fairly high end clothing. That said, her white hair was frayed and not quite altogether despite it being held up.

Weiss and Winter recognized her instantly, and weren't necessarily happy to see her.

Weiss groaned, "Mother…"

Yang sat back in her chair, "So that's your mom, huh?"

Winter sighed, "And by the state of her appearance, she's drunk again."

Willow rubbed her eyes as she passed a window, revealing it was late into the night. She had spent the early hours of the night drinking and a few more washing it down. She groaned as she made her way somewhere to do… something. Probably vomit from how much she had. Jacques's Study then. She was vindictive to a fault today.

Weiss just buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.

Winter shook her head, disappointed.

Willow made her way through the hall to eventually find the room in question. She attempted to pull it open in her drunken stupor, only to remember it opened the opposite way. Once inside, she made her way to the desk and used it to hold herself up on her feet for now. She took deep breaths as she leaned over the oak desk. She wanted nothing more than to let it out and be done with it. Jacques knew what she was now and couldn't do anything about it if she did. But it just wasn't happening.

Weiss and Winter sighed in relief, if only for their own sanity.

But sanity was soon to be lacking. Ever since she entered, she heard an odd sound. Radio static. She looked over to find an old wire radio Jacques kept in the room.

She groaned and picked up the device, "Why does he bother to keep this stupid thing? We have scrolls. Holographic screen systems. Yet he keeps this piece of junk?" She just sighed again, grasping her head with her free hand. "Damn thing's giving me a headache." She went to unplug it from the wall, only to find it wasn't. It wasn't plugged in. Come to think of it, doesn't he keep this thing on the same frequency twenty-four-seven?

"Oh… that can't be good." Harriot braced herself for the worst.

"Hang on…" Willow finally found her way out of her drunken stupor to realize something important. "Jacques doesn't own a wire radio."

The camera moved to show as a shadow formed behind her like an ever shifting silhouette. After a moment, a glowing grin spread across the area of the jaw.

This made everyone feel a chill up their spines. Something about that smile made them all uncomfortable. That hellish smile…

Willow felt a chill and spun around, ready to strike whatever was behind her. A hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, preventing her from striking whoever was on the other side. The camera slowly moved to show a blond man in a blood colored suit with dark pinstripes. His blue eyes seemed to burn like flames with a light of hell itself. A small pair of antlers jutted out from his hair, two sections of which stuck up like ears. As he chucked, radio tuning static accompanied with it.

This got many to freeze up.

"No…" Weiss was shaking.

"This can't be good." Ruby shrunk in her chair a little.

Jaune released her wrist and took a half step back, "I must say, those reflexes are quite well honed despite your intoxication~!" Of course, his voice sounded as though it came through a radio.

Willow stumbled back, falling to half rest on the table, "Who are you?!"

Jaune's smile never faltered. "I believe that doesn't matter to you, now does it." He walked to the bookcase, running his finger down the line until he found one he liked. He picked it off the shelf and opened it, reading a passage out loud, "And so he turned to me. I was uncertain, but the deal was too good to pass up. Too good to be true. And, it will no doubt be written in my passing, too costly no matter what I achieve." He closed the book he held in one hand with a chuckle. "I love that part. Wonderfully entertaining that Volgris."

"Won… You say that like you knew him."

"I did~"

"He's over three hundred years old!"

"And he's a demon." Tai shuddered remembering seeing the infamous Radio Demon for the first time.

Meanwhile, everyone around Jaune was watching for any signs of possession.

"That he is." Jaune returned the book to the shelf. "But we're not here to discuss the departed."

"Then why are you here?" Willow's intoxication was waning now that a threat was present.

"I'm here," he swung his hand from the side to point toward her, "for you."

"Me?"

"Her?" Weiss and Winter were a little surprised. Then again, their parents were the types that seemed likely to make deals with devils.

"Yep~" Jaune walked about the room, his tap-shoe soles clicking against the floor. "I'm here to make a deal. If you're interested."

"What kind of deal?" She wasn't all there, but still smart enough to ask questions.

"Simple. I want to give you power. Wealth. Anything your heart could possibly desire. You could have anything," he snapped his fingers with a small spark tracing his fingers, "like that."

"And what do you get out of it?"

"Entertainment~! Oh! And your immortal soul."

"I'm sorry… WHAT?!" Harriot shouted.

"I wasn't kidding." Tai shook in light fear. It was hard not to be when this guy was on screen.

Willow had to take a moment to really understand that. "My what?"

"Your soul. I'll give you anything you desire, and in exchange, when you die, your soul is mine to collect. And while you go, I get sme entertainment out of it~ If you're interested, we can shake on it." He held his hand toward her, a bright golden glow starting to radiate from his hand.

"Well that's not ominous at all!" Mercury spoke up sarcastically.

Willow stood back onto her own two feet again, "You're hardly inspiring confidence. I have no reason to believe you."

"No, you don't." Jaune summoned his walking stick / microphone. He swung it to the side and the books on the shelves were replaced with gold. Solid gold! With another flick of his wrist, he tossed one to her. It was actual gold! A book of gold with pages written with silver.

Roman whistled, impressed, "Damn that's sweet~ Wish I could get my hands on that~"

Willow looked between the book and him, back and forth. She placed the metal book onto the desk as she looked back to his eyes. Those unholy eyes. "I could have… anything?"

"Anything your dark heart desires~"

Willow could think of so many things she wanted. So much she desired. Then she looked back to him. "Alright."

Winter facepalmed. "Damn it mother…"

She took Jaune's hand as they shook on their deal. Jaune's grin became wider as the radio resting on the desk seemed to tune itself, eventually finding old timey music, with a modern hint, to play. And so, Jaune's song began.

"Oh here we go again." Mercury sighed, annoyed. He wasn't a fan of these music ones.

"I've got a game I want to show you~ If I tell you my name you'll have to play too~"

He stepped away and walked around a few steps to the side, all the while Willow tracking his movements. He turned away before turning back to point toward her.

"I've been here for years biding my time. Until I could find you~!"

He created a paper and placed it on the desk.

"Just sign on the line and we can be friends. I'll be here for you until your world ends! Enjoy all your toys I will supply~ You only live once. And you'll be mine! The day you die, I'll have my payment. Your eternal soul's enslavement. Did you divine our dark arrangement? You were lovely entertainment!"

"This actually sounds kind of nice." Nora had to give it that much.

"It can't last." Weiss just knew this would fall apart eventually.

"The dark desires you've been serving. You can bet that you're deserving!"

Jaune took a step toward Willow, now within a few inches. His hand rose to place itself under her chin to bring their eyes to meet each other.

"No regard for who you're hurting. Why it's almost like you're flirting~"

"Is… is he hitting on her?" Elm glanced toward the two Schnee in the audience to gauge some kind of reaction.

Weiss wanted to retch thinking about that, but more than anything she was afraid. This was a demon. A dealmaker. Apparently one of the most dangerous and powerful beings in Hell.

Winter… was of an odd state. She knew her mother would be better off with anyone else than her father. But the idea of a step-father, so to speak, that was younger than her was just weird.

Then the drop. The moment snapped to show Jaune's grin become massive and malicious. This was the Radio Demon in all his revelry. And the music dropped from old time to a metal song.

"Come into my world, take a look at me! I am the nightmare on the dark side of the moon! I'm your first last resort so call me, when you need a helping hand! Play your cards wrong and I'll see you soon!"

The drop made many jump at the sudden change.

Weiss… was not a fan. She was okay with the old timey music over metal, that was for sure.

Everything returned to old time music.

"Sorry, I don't mean to alarm. If you asked me to stay, I would be charmed to. You all have such cozy little lives. How do you survive? I kind of wish I knew~! But you've got a lovely little secret. You're tired of feeling awful small. So you give Mr. Arc a call to make a deal. Because you're hungry for the sights, you wanna see them. Earthly delights, you feel you need them. Your appetites, I'll help you feed them. I'll be your sweet Radio Demon~"

"A little on the nose there." Harriet joked, because she didn't know.

Vine took on a thinking posture. There had to be more here.

"And once your hunger has abated, don't forget your friend who waited. Watched as you indulged your thirst and, did I mention that you're cursed~?"

With a snap of his fingers, Jaune's song dropped into the harder music form again. "Come into my world! Take a look at me! I am the nightmare on the dark side of the moon!"

"Okay, but what is the dark side of the moon?" Ruby asked.

It was a valid question as their primary focus on the moon is the fact that it's brokken to hell and back.

King was the one to help explain it, "The side of the moon you see is light reflected from your sun, the star not the guy."

This got a snicker out of Tai and Yang. Even a half laugh out of Sun, himself.

"Point is that the opposite side doesn't get that light. It is, as such, the dark side."

"Oh! I get it~" Nora giggled.

"I'm your first last resort so call me when you need a helping hand! Play your cards right and I'll see you soon. You lay your chips out on the table now! When you gamble souls the house will always win! I'm double dealing in betrayal and I'm here to cash my payout! Hope it was worth the life of sin! Welcome to my world take a look around!"

Glyphs of hellish red began to burn in the air itself. Portals to the end. To Hell. Each showed horror, unholy torture.

"Inside your nightmare beyond the mortal veil! You made a wrong turn at the crossroads, now you're at the final episode. Eternity with me in Hell!"

Weiss wanted to feel bad, but she was pretty vindictive at times anyway. A part of her wants to believe she wasn't as bad, but part of her thinks Willow probably would end up in Hell for everything. If, according to King and Knox, sloth/laziness was a sin it was pretty certain.

The music returned back to normal as he laughed.

"Pleasure to play, how I enjoyed you. Suffice to say when I play I don't lose. Collect on your debts that you accrued. It was such a gas. I really am amused~!"

He walked behind Willow, placing a hand on her shoulder and leaning toward her.

"Have a dark thought, I'm right beside you. A casual whisper just to guide you. Look over your shoulder and I'm gone."

He disappeared into a flame and reappeared in front of her.

"Remember this song. And I bid you adieu~"

He snapped his fingers and everything cut.

Suddenly, Willow jolted up in her bed with no memory of returning.

"So, a dream?" Elm crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

"It would explain what just happened." Marrow nodded.

Jaune tapped his chair in though, "Unless it was just non-diegetic." People turned to him, confused.

Neptune sighed. "First, I'm glad I'm not the only one that knows what that means. Second, it means it wasn't happening for them, it was for us."

Willow clutched her head as her hangover started to form. "Whatever brand that stuff was, I should avoid it in the future. Then again, I've had worse dreams. At least thi guy was good looking."

Weiss shivered again in disgust.

As she stood, she found that she'd somehow changed into her sleep ware: a pale blue nightshirt and pants. "Odd… these are usually sloppy if I remember to change at all."

"How much does she drink?" Blake turned to her teammate for an answer if possible.

But Winter gave them their answer, "Too much. It's all she drinks some days."

Willow reached toward her dresser. As much as she hated him, she was still married to Jacques and had to wear that ring, only to find a ring-like design on her left ring finger. She held her hand up to find it resembling a tattoo, painted into her very skin. As she turned her hand, she found lettering around the false band, [You Soul is Mine], followed by a pair of twin arcs.

As the camera pulled away, it showed Willow through a mirror standing in her room. It showed her hands in chains as they wrapped over and around her neck. And at their end, over her shoulder, was the man in blood red with a hellish grin.

"So… not a dream." Harriet finally got it. This was a true demon. But she didn't know how powerful he was. Truth be told, that just made it worse for her as her imagination played against her.

Yang shivered as she remembered the end to the last time they saw him. "That guy gives me the creeps."

Knox snickered. "I think I know a way he'd endear himself to you."

"What?"

The worst of it passed, the screen showed a new scene. It showed a group of demons sitting around a table with a microphone in the middle. The group consisted of Jaune the Radio Demon, Ren as Angel Dust, and Velvet as a rabbit based demon.

"What is this?" Yang raised an eyebrow.

"It looks like a podcast." Tai tapped his chair in thought.

Velvet was snickering.

Jaune just continued to grin, "I have a question for you! What do you call cheese that isn't yours?"

Blake instantly blanched "Wait… is he…?"

Ren raised a hand, "Ooh! I know this one, but what is it?"

"Nacho cheese~!" He then let out a joyous laugh.

It got Yang and Tai to laugh, but the others groaned.

While Velvet laughed in earnest, Ren exaggerated his laugh, clearly not amused.

But Jaune wasn't deterred. "Here's one you don't know. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?" After a pause, "An Irr-elepaphant~!" Then his laugh followed.

This paused the group not including Yang and Tai who continued to laugh. But then, a snicker. Ruby was holding back her laughter.

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?" Jaune had a habit of telling dumb dad jokes, as they called them, on air.

And Ren often played the straight man (ironically). "No what happened with that?"

"Great food! No atmosphere!"

This one actually got Blake to smile a little. Kali actually let it go and laughed.

"I have another one! Why did the coffee file a police report?"

Yang took a breath, but couldn't find it possible to answer the joke through her laughter.

"It got mugged."

Ozpin actually cracked a smile there.

Velvet had a weakness for these stupid jokes, so she was becoming a giggling mess. "Why do you have so many on the ready?!"

Then this came back, "Oh Velvet~"

That was Velvet's other weakness, usually turning her into an embarrassed mess. "Oh no- what Jaune?"

"What do you get from a pampered cow?"

"N… what?"

"Spoiled milk~!"

This finally got Coco to crack, mostly the delivery and method of dragging Velvet in.

Ren, as always, had to play his part here, "You fucking hack! Get off the stage!"

Velvet took a breath to calm her laughing a bit, "Ren, let him tell his jokes. It makes him happy."

"Oh Velvet~"

"Oh, not again." They could still see her grinning though.

"This graveyard looks over crowded, don't you think? People must be dying to get in~!"

This one broke Mercury, Roman, and got Neo to crack a smile.

"So, what do you call a fish with two knees?"

Ren turned to him, confused, "Two knees? What?"

"A two-knee-fish!"

Gira had a quick chuckle at that one. Marrow, Vine, and Clover just laughed. Harriet groaned, but she still had a grin. Elm hid her grin behind her hand.

"You know, I heard Ren got some new shoes from a drug dealer the other day. And I don't know what he laced them with, but he was tipping all day~!"

This got Roman to actually double over laughing.

But Ren added a curveball, "Jokes on you mother fucker, I don't know how to tie my shoes!"

This made Nora crack up. To be fair though, Ren actually laughed as well. Not a quick snicker or just a smirk. That actually got him to laugh.

"I tried going on an all almond diet, but that's just nuts~!"

Cue Ren's curveball, "I like nuts." As a gay demon, of course he put it that way.

And it got more than a few of them to crack up again.

"Oh Ren!"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?"

Ilia blinked, a little concerned this might actually break her.

"That's what they all do, right?"

"No! He had Reptile-disfunction!"

Ilia shook as she held in a laugh. It was too stupid! It wasn't that funny! Don't laugh!

But, add curveball, "My dad has that."

And cue louder laughing. Ilia finally cracked as well.

Velvet took a few breaths before speaking again, "Damn it Jaune! You get one more. Then we have to move on!"

Jaune tapped his chin in thought before he seemed to have an epiphany, "Atheism is a non-profit organization."

That was the final nail. Weiss actually burst out laughing. The Ice Queen laughed at a joke.

The moment ended and the viewing ended.

Yang turned to Weiss with a giant grin, "So you can laugh!"

Weiss instantly turned red in embarrassment and turned away, "I can laugh!" Then she turned back to Yang with a smug grin, "Your jokes just aren't funny enough."

The look on Yang's face just seemed like Weiss had spoken heresy.