Mad Love Chapter 1, a baldur's gate fanfic

Foreword: This piece of writing is dedicated to the Larian studios, Paris Paloma... And everyone who ever loved Astarion.

Trigger warnings: all of them, not for anyone under 18, in my opinion, no one below 25 should read this. It discusses in details rape, suicide and extreme violence. It starts gently, but then it completely goes off the rails. It discusses pedophilia, abuse and literally, every trigger warning you can think of. There are incredibly disturbing scenes and seriously, not for everyone. Please, do not read if these themes are distressing for you.

- smut peddler from Sharess' Caress

Mad Love

Prologue

Cremate me.

Deliver me to safety

So that when it's spent maybe

It will be my own

Scatter ashes

Leave no marker where you plant it

So the hordes will be disbanded as they search

On a treasure map for my headstone

Leave me to the beasts and bears

I'd rather that the feast was theirs

They can't reserve neighbouring plots

Or request to be buried on top

Leave me for a day or two

To make sure that I turn blue

For the first time since I drew breath,

I'm undesirable again

I'll tattoo it

Just so they think it's ruined

and if they think it's ruined

It's easier to save

But please hurry

If you really love me

you'll dispose of me

Unceremoniously in the waves

Leave me to the trees and air

I'd rather that the feast was theirs

They can't reserve neighbouring plots

Or buy cuttings of my priceless locks

Leave me for two days or three

'Til my fingertips turn green

For the first time since I drew breath

I'm undesirable again

And they will come

In such dismay

That they never did discover where I lay

And I will burn

My flesh and form

Screaming the words

"it will never be yours"

I'll take the flame over desecration

Promise you'll make on these arrangements

Don't you dare think it's overkill

I wouldn't wish the watching on anybody

So if for that reason only

Swear to me you will

Leave me to the beasts and bears

I'd rather that the feast was theirs

They can't reserve neighbouring plots

Or request to be buried on top

Leave me for a day or two

To make sure that I turn blue

For the first time since I drew breath,

I'm undesirable again

Paris Paloma, album:"Cacophony" album released 2024, song "The last woman on Earth", Label: Nettwerk Music Group, youtube link: https/watch?v=l4DBvgB61hA

Chapter 1

("Be gone", I say)

I could burn your motherfuckin' village to the ground

I do not roll over like a motherfuckin' hound

I could crack your skull between these motherfuckin' thighs

I could doom your lineage with one look from these eyes

I could name the date in which they'll put you in the ground

You're the one who said it's justice watching witches drown (Mother!)

Touch me again and I'll cut off your hand,

There are some things you'll never understand

You do not dance everyday with the fear, of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer

I could tell your mother 'bout that night you held my drink

What I wouldn't give to empty you into my sink

You can think you own me cos you pay to see my loins

But I'm the one whose naked with a pocketful of coins

You can slay the dragon like a motherfuckin' man

But give me three days you'll both be eating from my hand

Whore, mother, sister, slut

I am I am the divine goddess of the smut

Nurse, sinner, virgin, bitch

I am the I am the vengeful daughter of the witch

("Be gone", I say)

Touch me again and I'll cut off your hand,

there are some things you'll never understand

You do not dance everyday with the fear, of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer.

Whore, mother, sister, slut

I am I am the divine goddess of the smut

Nurse, sinner, virgin, bitch

I am the I am the vengeful daughter of the witch

Whore, mother, sister, slut

I am I am the divine goddess of the smut

Nurse, sinner, virgin, bitch

I am the I am the vengeful daughter of the witch

Touch me again and I'll cut off your hand,

there are some things you'll never understand

You do not dance everyday with the fear, of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer.

I am not your angel, I am not your saint

Let's put you in a corset, now let's see who faints

Take me to your leader, shackles 'round my wrists

I'll get down on my knees and prove, the goddess exists

Der Himmel ist mein Zimmer

Same old energy pt. II, Burn Your Village, Kiki Rockwell, album: Rituals on the bank of a familiar river. Link: https/watch?v=fMtnktpF_t0

Save the Nightsong, a voice whispered.

Livia woke up…A memory… She was… On a Nautiloid? A pod released her!

A memory… In a mind flayer pod. A mind flayer… No, no… Was inserting a tadpole into her eyes. They looked like baby frogs, so tadpoles.

Shit. I am gonna be a thrall.

Fuuuuck.

You're not going to be a thrall. Those tadpoles are a fucking blessing. Or will lead to a blessing. Spoke the other voice. Did she? Talk to… herself?

Was she insane? Was she… possessed? Was this… normal?

No.

Livia raised her arms in frustration and held them out: the hells? And glimpsed the other's thoughts mirror right after this time as an image: an image of a… creature? White fur and… weird, frankly, face and body, positioned sitting, with its arms exactly in the same position as if to say "the fuck, mate?"

You're weird, she said to the other, after she dismissed the image she glimpsed in other's mind.

Rich coming from you. You cannot access your memories, but I can still taste the shape, see the structure of them. And holy shit girl, that's a lot of corpses and blood.

Livia felt pleasure spread through her at the thought. The other shifted uncomfortably, and disappeared…?

Livia desperately tried to see within her own head, without breaking it with an axe. Memories? None. What's my name?

Dark… Urge… is what I am. Liv…ia.

Someone thought… It's funny a murder incarnate to be named in connection with life, she felt.

Livia.

"Pleasure" to mind within you, the other said. Ana.

Weird, mysterious visitors who spoke to you, as if they were you? Was this her own voice too?

I am still here. But I am not you. Yes, it's normal if people speak to themselves in second or third voices. And there will be one more actual outside voice speaking, the Dream Visitor. For most folks, every single person is actually more like 15 people and at least three of them are uncivilized savages. That's healthy and normal. I am not of you and I woke up in your mind, in your body. I will not encumber you, because it's wrong. You didn't ask for me to be here. I will do my best so you won't even feel me, unless you cross me. I am happy to teach you how to shield your mind and use the scant telepathic powers tadpole will give you. You won't change into a thrall - unless you fail. The entire journey is about fighting this threat successfully, to the source of it. It's all I can say.

This is a bigger design at play and I can only… recall little bits at the same time. I didn't ask to be here. I don't know why I am here and how I am here. I am… not of this plane.

What, like a gith'yanki?

Further away, I feel. So because you didn't ask for me I just will be here as if I am not here at all. But listen to me well: I can feel the shape of you. And you will control the urges. Or I will control you. It's simple as that. I will try to gain your consent if I want to do something, but you won't be murdering and slaughtering with me here. You see, I am not morally opposed to it. In fact, I don't give a fuck. I just have enough bad memories of my own without new memories on top of them. And you will be practical with me… or I will be practical with you.

Livia barely stifled a smile. Cute.

Although… How did you make plans against someone who could hear you inside your own head?

You will learn, I will show you how to put up boundaries, so I cannot see things you don't want me to see.

Usually this kind of confidence was someone's downfall, but Livia's instinct warned to be of care.

Why would you do that? I would get rid of you? Kill you, hurt you! Livia shouted suddenly knowing hiding anything for now was pointless.

Please, go ahead, I don't want to be here. I have places to be, you know. Maybe killing me will make me go back, the girl spat at her calmly, almost bored.

I won't be controlled by some… some passenger! A stowaway!

But I am supposed to be quiet like a mouse in this body, and watch you commit atrocities? No. I didn't sign up for that and I won't stand for it. Murder in self-defense, go ahead. But do not even try to act on those urges you feel. Don't think you can cheat me. I see through you.

Atrocities, smatrocities. Maybe a few corpses here and there.

Good. Keep it at "few". And get going. Shadowheart is waiting.

Shadowheart?

Livia couldn't recall how, but she was experienced with intimidation and threats. And this time, she wasn't relying on body language and voice to analyze opponent. She could feel the mental impressions, because they literally shared a mind. This other wasn't fucking around with her. The tone of voice alone, the way she spoke… This mind… It acted as if it could control her and direct her completely, like a puppet, take over her fully. She didn't do so, because she chose not to. Lesson Livia learned late, but did learn: in some people… never mistake kindness for weakness. This other could be a poster child for that phrase. Harder to beat, but not impossible.

So for now, we work with her. As a scion of evil… Scion of evil? Where did that come from? She worked against so called good people, and this one could be a good person you didn't pick a fight with. Or her defeat would be that much sweeter.

Mostly because… she felt like an evil person… on the side of good, who didn't let their urges out of control, ever. This was maybe even an enemy to respect! Livia was suddenly excited about mental sparring with this other. And then other sparring. Victory would be delicious…

Even if I would teach you everything I know about mind structures and I am planning to, I have decades of experience on you, even though I feel like I lived not as long as you have. You cannot defeat me. Seduce me, yes. Tempt me into your choices, yes. But not overpower me.

Why?

Because I am stronger than you, came quiet, simple answer.

But I… am not like the Emperor. I won't take your choices from you unless you will leave me nothing else to work with. And yes, I will do my best we separate as soon as possible. Yeah, by the way I know the direction of your thoughts now: outside of your body I still can and will make you behave.

Pfft. Please, Livia thought and knew she managed this one thought privately. As if sharing a mind was an unbreakable link. She will teach this stowaway a lesson.

Energy is… different here, the other continued. This world… is full of magic. I may be able, if I materialize more in your mind, literally materialize and step out of your body. For now, just be careful of the Emperor. And others. Voice quieted, mumbled and… disappeared. The other did have holes in her brain, same as Livia. Memories scattered, fragmented, unintelligible though viewable, half-formed impressions and images, all so chaotic and dark… Some so steeped in pain or wrath touching them just hurt, just looking at them from afar hurt, before she gained any real access.

Who?

You will meet him soon. Asshole, for real. The voice stayed mumbling, as if speaking exhausted her. Don't trust him. We have to work with him, but Gods above, do not trust him. Ever. He can see inside your and others minds as freely as I can, which is one of the reasons he is such a dangerous enemy. Livia could've lost her memories, but she didn't lose her intelligence.

What's the other reason?

Beware of everyone, anyone, who uses words with such ease, they don't even have to resort to violence. And he isn't doing it because he dislikes killing or has a moral problem with it. In many ways, he is worse than you. You feel as if you make meat salad out of people with blades. He makes meat puppets out of people with words alone. Not magic words, mind you.

He is that good at speaking. I aspire to learn from him. Vague image of an… illithid? But… not acting as a thrall? What in all hells?

Livia also felt vaguely… Offended at the words of the other and realized she, too, wanted to impress this invisible passenger.

I am impressed aplenty, trust me. Let's go. The pod released you, you have shit to do. There will be a half-elf, a gith'yanki and mind flayer fighting a cambion. You have to leave before the ship crashes. Get on with it.

Livia didn't ask how the other woman knew.

She did, in fact, got on with it.

And then fucking crashed, the last thing she remembered was falling to sure death from the burning Nautiloid.

Wake up, whisper.

Nooo. Lemme sleeeeep.

Okay.

Suddenly there was a sound… and it was a pleasant sound. Instruments… music. A song. And then quiet, quiet singing. Like, a… song was playing in her mind and the other was quietly singing alongside the artist.

I can burn your motherfucking village to the ground…

I do not roll over like a motherfuckin' hound

I could crack your skull between these motherfuckin' thighs

I could doom your lineage with one look from these eyes

I could name the date in which they'll put you in the ground

You're the one who said it's justice watchin' witches drown (Mother!)

I like this song! Livia woke up fully, sat up. Looked around. In the back of her mind, song continued, quieter. The singer sang quicker and quicker as she whispered the threats. And Livia could get behind this… feminine fury.

Get up, get Shadowheart again and I will teach you all the lyrics. And go East. There will be an elf there with pale curly hair. Livia sat up, looked around. Dragons… attacked…

How are we alive?

Dream Visitor saved us from certain death. Go. Nautiloid crashed, we have to go.

Chapter 2

So let me get this straight.

In the camp, dusk was falling. Livia was starving so she helped herself furiously to a pork loin they lifted from the grove. There were others with them now. The half-elf, full elf, human and wizard. No sign of gith they met on Nautiloid.

I propose: we burn the grove with the druids alive and trapped inside, especially that fucking healer bitch and her bird, steal the idol, kill the children and rape the females…

You're disgusting.

You know, you're absolutely right. That is so sexist of me. AND males too… And then celebrate with the goblins. And fuck Minthara I spotted in your mind, when you were thinking. But nooooo. You directed me - directed me! - to save some tiefling brat from a snake and told everyone we will seek the druid Halsin! That bitch tried to kill us!

Nettie didn't even raise a hand to you.

She wanted to!

Like you want to, all the time?

Uuuurgh!

Yes.

By the way, do you have a name?

Told you already. Your brain is full of holes. Ana. That's why I pushed you to introduce us as Liviana.

Makes sense.

My brain is full of holes too, Ana sighed.

And about the druid… The Druid is 350 years old and build like an oak. What followed was a mental image of a naked man's muscled back, his butt on display… He… was in fact… Very, very nice.

Do you know what a man learns to do with his penis, with his body and hips, his self-control, in 350 years of living and fucking? Ana asked absolutely calmly.

Livia considered.

Well. When you put it like that.

Speaking from experience.

What, you fucked a druid?

This druid.

HOW? You knew him? Met him before?

Told you I am not from here. And yet… I know I did, in fact, fuck that druid.

What followed what a sense of a delicious, longing sigh, but no hooks in those emotions, just pleasure and safety.

I don't… recall details. I just know I did and he. Is. Delicious. Like… seriously, best ever.

This wasn't a sheer thought. The… other impressions were connected, scrambled scenes and a sense of sexual almost ecstasy and Livia allowed them to inform her.

Well… If that's the case… We should help these poor tieflings and… and…

The grove.

Right, the grove. Are you sure Minthara we will meet won't be a better fuck?

I am sure.

You fucked this one, too?

No response coming, the other took a moment and then decided to speak.

No, not her. You like everything, I tried and I am just strictly into men. But also, stupidity pisses me off in everyone and Minthara bought into bullshit like the girly you spotted pretending she isn't a fucking Shar worshipper. Meh.

What like, completely? Only into men?

Yeah.

Do you know how rare that is? Livia asked, fascinated.

Yeah. The subgroup of people who are truly heterosexual with no leanings towards homosexuality is actually fucking tiny. It all exists on spectrums which are next to each other, but most women like women too, even if they like mostly men. I don't. I mean, I can do it in your body, if we must, but I prefer men, there is no sexual pleasure with women from lusting after them alone. And when it comes to inbetweeners… Masculinity draws me.

Heterosexual, homosexual? The terms meanings were obvious but where did they exist? Not in Faerún, that's for sure.

Alright. Where is he? Shall we go straight to him, tomorrow?

Please, do. He is in the goblin camp. They won't release him to you. He will be in a bear form, don't shoot at him.

Kinky!

You have no idea, voice whispered.

Livia caught a glimpse - and gasped, truly delighted.

What the fuck, woman?!

Giggling.

Yeah. Tried all versions with this one, he never, ever fails to deliver.

Livia scanned the feel of the memories, could barely hold onto them, navigating other woman's mind was harder even than her own: like crawling in complete magical darkness, with three arrows in your legs and fifty shooters surrounding you. Livia felt as hard as she could the other's sensations.

Except when it comes to evil and cruelty, she sagged in disappointment. Boring. Uncorruptible. Force for good, impressions said.

Yes, he is, voice confirmed.

And I can't kill him?! Livia whined.

No. Because if you don't, you can fuck him in his bear form and girly, he doesn't mind you fucking everyone around at the same time. Also, he has stamina in a way that horrifies me as his default setting. He literally is a force for good and STILL has a reputation as a fucking maestro. So yeah.

Well, shit.

But choice of course, is yours, the voice laughed as she spoke sarcastically. She knew what Livia would pick. Minthara looked nice, but a bear!

Ugh fine! We will kill the goblins!

Livia continued to eat and speak at the same time.

You know what is best about being able to talk to someone telepathically, even within your own mind?

Yes. That you can still use your mouth. Right now you're biting into a pork loin, but elf Astarion is looking at us chewing and at our throat moving and that makes me think of other uses of our mouth.

Livia started to laugh, and as a result choked on her food. Astarion came over looking at her as if she was a poor, poor idiot and slapped her back.

"Thank you" she said with mouth still full of meat, and took another bite.

"You know... you might want to consider eating slower, so you don't have a repeat of what just happened."

Astarion's voice caressed ears. For real, so pretty this one. Stupid - but pretty.

Livia automatically looked to the other for a riposte. Don't say anything, she directed instead. Wait, let him show his actual self to you, and then decide if you want to get closer to this one. A lot of people dislike him when they see more of this one, with good reason.

You know what? Every time you seem like you're a little fun, you let me down again!

Oh you will have fun. Tonight, when we wake up with his fangs above our necks.

WHAT?

Yeah. Look at how he is looking at you. You are eating like a pig and he is almost hard. This is not a coincidence. He is really, really hungry. Spoiler alert: not for the pork and not for your pussy.

No!? He is a vampire and my pussy isn't interesting to him!? Livia shouted. The fucking gall of him! He into men only?

Oh no, he likes everything. Or… nothing. It's… complicated. Again, he has his reasons. He is looking at our throat working as we eat. And there is an opportunity in front of him like no other and one he never had before…

Astarion's red eyes almost burned in the firelight as he stared at her throat, not her eyes or face.

He is pretty, you know, Livia conceded coldly. I want to fuck him, since you didn't let me make him into a pretty corpse!

Then fuck him. But beware he won't be fucking you for you, but to secure his place in the camp.

Livia felt outrage. She knew she was beautiful. With her small body, tiny waist, pale blue skin, rich blue hair and blue freckles, full sensuous mouth, orange eyes burning on black corneas, her body never failed her when she needed to use it. Be it bedroom or battlefield or behind someone's back. Also, people underestimated her because of her size and looked at her face and saw an utter sweetheart. Lord, she loved being what she was and looking like complete opposite. And this vampire...?

How dare he?! This is insulting! I should kill him where he stands!

It is, other agreed. But it's not insulting when you want to fuck him just because he is pretty?

What the fuck, did you not have casual sex in your life or what?

As a matter of fact, no, though I do understand the rules.

That felt weird. The other felt… like she had every experience. The druid fucking impressions didn't mesh with what she said at all.

Livia ate. Choked on her food again. Astarion disappeared somewhere, and this time Wyll the famed Blade of Frontiers came with help to smack her back and this time she tried to say "thank you" without meat in her mouth to avoid thirds.

Oh, I don't know. Most men don't mind meat in your mouth.

Livia lowered the pork loin back to her plate on her lap.

I think I am full.

...Are you? Filled to the brim?

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Livia swirled wine around and drank. Red, rich and dry.

Go to sleep. He will come. I think. He will try to be quiet, but you will wake. Please, don't hurt him. Feed him and push him away after he has a few sips or he will accidentally kill you. And yes, I am asking you, but should you act stupidly, I can step in in a second and take over completely. And then, never release control to you again. So, weigh your options.

He can "accidentally" kill me, but you want this one in the camp and to feed him?! Are you mad? A fucking brainwashed Sharran, a failed wizard whose biggest fucking accomplishment was making a mistake, a dude who thinks he is a fucking hero, a fucking zealot idiot gith'yanki of whole twenty-one and a fucking spawn vampire?! What is next?

A hellion tiefling with an infernal engine for a heart, with red skin and the most incredible actual heart.

What?! Really? Anything else?

I don't think so. At least for now. And yeah, we have to get the hellion. Careful though, the "hero" thinks he is supposed to kill her. He is not. Don't let them come to blows and use persuasion.

Oh and careful Sharran and gith will come to blows too, do try to reconciliate them if you can. If not, get rid of the Sharran.

Oh wow. You would let me kill her?

I hope it won't come to that. But yes.

You really dislike her.

I do. I am not sure why. She isn't objectively worse than the others…

She lies to us too?

Of course, just like you are lying to them.

Anything else? Will the vampire attack and try to drink the wizard and we will watch how they do not please us by going shirtless in the mud or covered in baby oil? Does he also have any other curses other than vampirism?

What happened to wanting to fuck him? Or did you mean his corpse?

Livia considered. No, corpse-fucking felt a step too far, even for her.

Then let him eat. Drink, suck, whatever you want to call it. He won't let you get closer otherwise, you know. You can also sleep with the gith and wizard and hero, but not all of them at the same time and it's hard to maneuver. Pick… two. For now.

I vote gith! And vampire!

Good girl. Also, doable, for a while at least. So if you want him - ever - feed him. And it still might not be enough. He is distrustful, has every reason to be.

You know, it makes sense, that he is vampire. This explains why he is so pretty. He a master or spawn?

Spawn.

Would his master enjoy him crucified? Livia suddenly thought, elated.

His master, would in fact, become best friends with you, if you did that. The other said and then stayed quiet.

But you won't let that happen, Livia spoke, as she tried, barely could, to navigate the other woman's complicated and partially hidden feelings. No… not hidden. So complicated, multi-layered and so, so dark she didn't have to even conceal them. They just were barely possible to navigate without her help.

No. You will let him slit your throat before you will even try to hurt him.

What?! You are insane! Are you in love with him or something? We just met him! You are, you seemed... So reasonable! You helped me kill the goblins at the gate and you're quite bloodthirsty and practical and now this?!

Yes. Now this. And if you are smart, no one's throat - but goblins and other guys to kill - will have to be slit.

No other explanation forthcoming.

You suck.

No, but he will, should we let him.

"Aaaarrrghhh!" Livia actually shouted out loud. Gale, Wyll, Shadowheart and Astarion all looked at her as if she in fact, lost her mind.

No such luck. She actually gained one.

Wait. I am feeling... unsettled.

Livia sensed the other woman's sense of... not looking within herself or her memories but for once, outwards, outside of them. Networks in the air... Strands...? In different colors, a layer of reality over visible reality.

Something… huge. You cannot go to sleep yet.

Woman, make up your mind! Last second Livia stopped herself from shouting as she was about to lie on the bedroll. But the other woman felt genuine trepidation, genuine nerves and resignation. Something… something huge, an insane risk... that... couldn't be avoided?

I don't know. It's important, but I don't know, the voice whispered helplessly. Did she... Feel in the other woman's feelings fear for the vampire?

Suddenly, Livia's senses pricked and abandoned the subject completely.

WAIT!

There in the bushes. Isn't that the bard we met earlier? Alfira? The other asked.

What the fuck is she doing here? Livia got up to confront the bard girl. Let her stay if that's why she is here. She is no threat. We have enough food and room, she whispered and was gone, as if she went to sleep. Livia agreed, bard was no threat and not the source of the... strands vibrating? As the other could feel them? She was also a strand, blue and gentle and pink, but it wasn't her that was the source of the feeling of being unsettled.

Livia was pissed, but willing to cooperate. You can always kill them later, but you often can not bring them back, she learned. Fuck it, let that bitch bard stay.

Neither of them knew. Both just woke up to the result already done. And an encounter so unsettling and yet to Livia, so familiar, they were both equally shaken.

Chapter 3

"I could burn your motherfucking village to the ground, I do not roll over like a motherfucking hound… " - Livia was singing very quietly under her breath. The song was amazing. Every bit of it.

"Nice song. Words to live by?" Astarion quipped. But everyone else was sober after the discovery they woke up to.

Livia shrugged and continued singing quietly, as if she couldn't tell it made others disconcerted.

Haha. Disconcerted.

They were walking through the Blighted Village. She managed to wash off… almost half of the bard's blood.

The other was silent a lot. Livia realized she felt… the other that is… truly horrible about the bard's death. Why? We knew her for ten minutes! She also sucked as a bard! And also, that she could navigate her a tiny bit better now. The darkness that was them now… seemed to have different shades of black, barely visible, ghost structures were revealed.

She tried to hide from the other that what truly unsettled her wasn't the corpse… but Sceleritas Fel, and his words, the whole visit. This was some bad, bad shit. Instinct told her Sceleritas maybe wasn't a threat - he just represented a force that truly was.

Right in the bullseye there, I feel the same, the other thought quietly back, as she again, touched outside of them, fingers weightlessly barely touching the strands.

In the moments she didn't speak or direct her, the only times she could feel her really present - but still weightless, without any sense of violation - was when the other woman was looking through her eyes at Astarion. He did not, in fact, come that night and it seemed no one else noticed he was a vampire… So obvious in hindsight. When she looked at anything else, the other was content to let her move her head as she pleased. When Astarion was concerned, she insisted on just keeping her gaze on him. And not even on his ass or something? Just his face, his hair, his body language. She... registered him.

So you are in love with him.

I am. And now that we settled that, is there anything else? The voice was bored to death.

Fuck. Tough to bite this one. But she was starting to respect this… Ana. Her first impression was correct. This was a goody two shoes… by choice, not nature. She didn't get why. Evil was so much more fun. This was a fascinating puzzle: why would someone who can see the world through her eyes choose to act so against their own instincts?

I don't understand you. You see the vampire as weak and you warn me from him he can be very prickly. You also seem to care about him as if you knew him before. None of it makes sense. You knew the girl would die… And you did nothing, but now you mourn as if you knew her longer than ten minutes. I don't get you.

You will, she whispered in response. If you will be willing to learn, you will see my point of view, as if it was your own, and not because we share a mind.

She didn't dignify this idea with a response. She was thinking about the goblin camp and coming bloodshed. She was… hungry for blood. She didn't recall a single detail of butchery of Alfira.

If you move a little more around the village, there are three orcs there eating a dead tiefling. Kill them.

Tiefling in Livia suddenly felt really, really angry.

Whaaaat? NOW you're telling me?!

There is a lot of folks to kill, and a lot to do. I am trying to keep your attention in a straight line. At the thought I sent you of exploring the hatch we found, you were discouraged.

Why would I wanna explore some basement?

It has in it one of the five most powerful books in Faerún.

You couldn't just say that?

Withers spoke to me.

So what? Wait, who is Withers?

Ah, right. We didn't go back to the ruins. We should, though he will show up in the camp either way. Withers is… useful. And powerful. Do not attack him, he can crush both of us. Either way, my intuition was right. Not only I am forbidden from telling you a lot, but the more I will say, the worse the results will be. You need to follow at least some of your own instincts and that means the less you know the better. I am trying to tell you what is only absolutely necessary

You're telling me quite a lot.

Because we're playing more than one game. Just in case… I want to be prepared. You… are new to me. Completely. And Sceleritas… He scared the fuck out of me.

Though the voice proclaimed that, sensation wasn't of terror, just... caution. This one planned every step carefully, calmly. A lanceboard player not by nature... but by learning.

This is territory I don't fully recognize and I am afraid someone will steal our shoes and kick us with them in the ass into a chasm. Or your dagger and stab us both in the back with glee. Withers… And he is right too. If I just show you everything, you won't understand. The less you know, the more you're open to learning.

Hmm.

Why do you like the vampire? Livia asked. He is weak. A spawn. And he honestly… doesn't have much going for him. I know this type. I used to fuck boys like this a lot.

She didn't know where that thought came from.

Interesting… so you can see your own memories if they're completely disconnected from… From something. There is something a singular connector in your mind that joins all lost memories, you know.

Good to know.

Oh yeah, your impression of Astarion is absolutely correct. And also… not.

They're a lot of fun because they want to fuck you and discard you, so it's super satisfying when you turn it around on them. This one… I can… smell his mind... sort of? There is vulnerability there to exploit, acting he would believe… He is… in fact, not so tough as it appears in some moments at all, is he?

No response.

He almost… almost smells like he is starved for love, this one. Is he? She asked the other. No response coming, again.

Sure, he is hiding it well in his behavior and body language and speech, but… I feel… I think. I feel almost like… he could be brought to heel. To kneel. Like… I would enjoy it a lot to see his face open up in trust and then… what face would he make under a crash of disappointment I used him.

Make up your mind, sighed the other, bored. You're either fucking him or using him.

Oh no, she thought at the passenger. One is sort of necessary for the other. Besides, you mentioned he plans to use me! I don't understand you at all!

Livia was learning as fast as she could, as fast as tieflingly possible, but she still couldn't easily navigate the other's emotions like the other could navigate her. Ana swam in her, completely freely and... weightlessly, without disturbing the water. Livia observed and learned as much as she could from the way the other thought. There was much to learn and she felt she got only a tiny glimpse into the skills.

You will not use him in any way except the one he agrees to be used in. You can sleep with him, in fact I recommend you do. In fact, I recommend you try to sleep with everyone. But I would suggest you do it… when I suggest you do it. The voice didn't carry compulsion or desire to force Livia into sex, only guidance on how things can be done.

You are into everyone, men, women, whatever? Aren't you?

Not the Sharran, Livia thought, and felt the other agree wholeheartedly. And the others are… sort of bland to me. Only Astarion's mind smells… Almost enticing. And not because he is attractive mind you - he smells like I could really, really fuck him up. Also, the gith seems like a good fuck.

Good choice there, the other thought back, she really, really is.

The vampire won't believe, even if you opened your mind to him, that he is welcome to stay in the camp, no problem, just because. He thinks he must pay for it, that nothing is free.

Aaa… So pretty vampire isn't, in fact, that completely stupid?

The other withdrew. But Livia was in a mood to talk.

He is pretending to be a normal person, "a magistrate from Baldur's Gate, it's all rather tedious" oh puhlease. What is he really? Not a powerful person for sure, but there is something there… An air of desperation, completely aside from suspended ceremorphosis threatening us all.

You, the other thought with appreciation and apprehension, a little impressed. You smell out people's weaknesses, don't you? You are a predator. And other living are your prey.

It seems… I am, Livia confirmed. This felt… right.

He carries himself as if he is free to make his own choices, but he has no real power, no real intelligence… Right? His biggest accomplishment is that he can stand in the sun and that is not his doing! Right?

Correct.

No more information forthcoming?

I can feel your feelings! Livia shouted. You do not see him as someone weak or pathetic! You're agreeing with me, and I can feel your honesty whilst at the same time… you… you admire him? How is that not a contradiction? What the fuck? You do not admire me!

The other exploded. Wrath.

Didn't I just tell you we will both get punishment if I will reveal to you too much information or even in the wrong order!? The other shouted and this was the first time she raised her voice at Livia. Instantly, Livia gained confirmation: the fact she almost didn't feel her… that she didn't have a sense of invasion despite having someone else in her mind, no sense of intrusion or rape… Was all by design.

This girl, this woman… wielded mental power. She could be a hammer, she could be a scalpel in the hands of the world's most talented surgeon, she could be a feather. She swam in waters of Livia's minds freely, with no need for oxygen... and didn't disturb the waters.

She could make herself completely weightless and did, so Livia never felt that chafing of being forced to share her mind and body, never felt violated. In fact… hammer and scalpel… So far, she was treating Livia with feather fingers, but that shout… The shout and it's echo… she could still feel it within her entire body… Were a warning. Do not toy with me. Do not prod me with a stick. Again, Livia was proficient in threats, why, she didn't know. And this human who carried no memories of bloodshed or murders within herself was… shockingly good. The threat just made wasn't made like an amateur: "Oh you will regret crossing me" in a scary voice, like amateurs did with empty bluffs. No, the thought was spoken in an almost bored voice and had an attachment, right under it, which was the proper way to do it.

Always back up your threats. Never speak empty words. If they think you speak empty words, go forth with your threat even if that is not to your advantage at the moment and you had completely different plans. Never, ever let them think they can even speak to you like that. Repeat as necessary.

And the other woman inside her knew all of that though she did not smell of violence! She looked at the thoughts Livia just had nodded and discarded them, because she wasn't learning shit twice! Who was she?

And the message behind her tone she could feel so well as they shared a mind was so loud, so clear… It didn't have to be spoken in words.

"I still need you, so you're still alive. But make no mistake. Although I am not enjoying any of it, you have only what I let you have if you don't behave. We can be friends and I can treat you well and fairly, but not when you're plotting my demise. So decide. Either way, doesn't matter to me."

The last words carried so much true indifference Livia was starting to suspect… She would have to cooperate.