Blitz took in a deep breath as he stepped through the portal. His thick-heeled boots cracked the twigs beneath them. "Yup, that's the smell of depression, early morning mildew, and used condoms abandoned in the bushes. This is definitely summer camp."
Moxxie squinted up at the pale waxing moon up in the sky. "Why's it so late at night here? We left at noon."
"It's a magical portal between realms, Mox, I'm not giving it shit over timezones." Blitz rolled his eyes. The imp merely pulled a rifle out of seemingly nowhere, cocking it like a promise. "Now let's find the target and murderize 'em good."
The imp was just to charge off into the unknown, when he suddenly realized his arms were vacant of his favorite death machine.
"There will be no murderizing," Samurai Jack held the stolen rifle over his head. Despite having no knowledge of modern firearms, he quite quickly disarmed the weapon almost expertly. "Not while I am here."
"You know," Blitz sneered. "I'm trying to stay happy by pretending you don't exist. Please stop ruining my fantasy by talking… and breathing."
"We cannot let ourselves become monsters, even in a business such as yours." Jack shook his head. "What has this target even done to warrant death?"
"I don't remember," Blitz shrugged. "But like I said: summer camp. They probably slept around and spread one too many STDs. That's probably what sent the client down there in the first place."
"While reckless and shameful infidelity is despicable," Jack glared. "It is not nearly enough to justify murder."
"Son of a- then what is?!" Blitz pulled at his eyelids, as if hoping he was just hallucinating the samurai. "Do you need them to be a chainsaw-wielding serial killer who donates to PETA?"
Jack crossed his arms. "It would be a start."
Blitz turned around, dug a hole into the dirt, and promptly screamed into it.
Moxxie cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should actually investigate our supposed target before having this conversation? That is technically your job here, Jack."
The samurai took a long drawn-out sigh. "Very well, we can at least look into the matter. But if we find nothing, we are turning right back around. Your 'payday' be hanged."
Blitz let out a hissing sighed laced with the tones of defeat. He turned to the group's only female member. "Mills, you haven't had any speaking lines in a while. You got anything to add to this pile of crap?"
Millie only shrugged, a content smile on her face.
"Alright," Blitz looked off into the dimly lit woods. "Let's find ourselves a target."
The group of four had finally hiked out of the woods. The thick wooden trees cleared out, revealing a great open area before a massive lake. Even in the dark of night, it was clear to tell that the lake was a beautiful crystal clear, the white reflection of the moon shining like an underwater diamond. Towards the edge of the body of water was an old dock littered with rotted planks of wood. And next to it, were dusty canoes lined up along the bank.
"Finally, we're getting somewhere," Blitz kicked a rock as he walked out in the open. "If I have to see one more squirrel humping an acorn, I'm shooting myself."
"The beauty of nature is indeed a marvel." Millie sighed.
Jack looked around. The area felt oddly empty, and not just from a lack of trees. It seemed that even the small woodland critters seemed to steer clear of this place. No field mice scurried through the grass, no chipmunks hopped across the gravel, he could not even sense any moles underneath the ground. "So, this is a summer camp?"
"I suppose," Moxxie shrugged. "I've never really been interested in the outdoorsy stuff. But this seems to track with the movies I've seen. Almost disturbingly so."
Jack shrugged. That made sense. He turned back to the empty expanse. "Where are all the tents? Where is everyone?"
"Huh," Blitz scratched at one of his horns. "That's actually a good point. There aren't even any cabins so where the hell is everybody sleeping?"
"There's one cabin!" Millie stuck her finger out like a loyal pointer.
Indeed, hidden in the shadows of mountainous trees was a large log cabin, almost eerie in the simplicity of its design. Thunder seemed to echo through the air. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.
"Well," Blitz placed his hands on his hips. "That's not ominous at all."
The four walked with caution towards the cabin. Jack noticed that the imps all trailed behind him, as if hoping he would make for a decent human shield in a pinch. They reached the front steps of the cabin, the wooden structure looked somehow both bigger and smaller up close. A small door stood in front of them.
"Hm," Blitz stared up at the massive (to him) structure. "This thing's probably big enough to fit both the campers and counselors."
"Which means," Moxxie speculated. "Our target is probably inside."
"Alright," Blitz pulled out his flintlock pistol. "Let's get in there, find the bastard, then shoot them till they're unrecognizable." He moved to kick the door down, but found his gun suddenly snatched from his hand. "Oh, come on!"
"Have you not heeded a word I've said?" Jack glared.
"Uh, no? I'm pretending you don't exist, remember? Who sucks at listening now?" Blitz sneered.
"Even disregarding your horrendous morality, you cannot simply barge in there without alerting nearly everyone inside." Jack crossed his arms. "Or did you forget the prince's requests for subtlety?"
Blitz sneered. "The bird also once requested I start with his ass rather than save it for the climax. I told him what I'm telling you now, I don't let anybody tell me how to do what I'm the best at."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Do not flatter yourself."
"Oh, you cheeky-"
"Um, guys?" Moxxie spoke up, standing on the tips of his hooves as he looked through one of the windows. "Our two main concerns are not being seen and deciding whether or not to even kill the target, correct?"
"That's an apt round of exposition, Moxxie, yes." Blitz scoffed.
"Well," Moxxie lowered himself to the ground. "Somehow, I don't think either problem is going to be much of an issue."
Jack's annoyance gave way to confusion as he raised a brow. "What?"
CREAK…
Without a soul even so mach as touching it, the door suddenly and slowly swung inward, revealing nothing but darkness accompanied by pure silence. Strangely, Moxxie and Millie entered without a hint of hesitation or worry. Jack and Blitz looked to one another before following after them.
The second Jack set sandal inside the cabin, he wished he had stayed outside. This… this was a massacre. The bodies of young adults littered the room, many still on top of their beds while others littered the floor. Many had massive stab wounds in their chests or backs, others had vital limbs and attachments violently twisted off or bent at odd angles. A few were even the subject of a very creative death, such as suddenly becoming the filling for a broken mattress sandwich.
"God dammit," Blitz cursed, staring at one counselor's gaping wide expression. "Somebody already beat us to the punch. Now how are we supposed to get paid?"
"We could always just SAY we were ones who killed them." Millie suggested.
Blitz blinked. "Shit, that's brilliant. Why haven't I thought of that before?"
"Who could have done this?" Jack stared out at all atrocities committed in a single room. "And why are so many of them stacked on top of each other?"
"Huh?" Blitz looked to the many many doubles of bodies lying the on the beds. "Oh, yeah. I guess a lot of these guys were killed mid-fuck."
Jack blinked. "... You mean they were-"
"Stabbed to death in the middle of screwing each other's brains out? Yup." the imp boss popped the 'p.' "I know you're a virgin Jack, but try to keep up."
"That's how I want to go," Millie sighed with a wistful smile.
"Wha- seriously?" Her husband didn't seem too fond of the idea.
"Well, ideally we'd also be on horseback," Millie shrugged. "But yeah, if you're gonna die, go big or go home, right?"
Jack blocked out Millie's disturbing fantasies in favor of trying to comprehend all the young couples cut down in their prime. "But… why are there so many of them in that position? They couldn't all have been making love. Wouldn't they have stopped when they noticed their other companions being brutalized?"
"Wow," Blitz snorted. "I'm starting to regret ever saying you have a stick up your ass. Clearly even that would be too stimulating for your v-card."
Jack took his eyes off the atrocity to glare at the imp. "I fail to see how that is relevant."
"What, you need me to spell it out for ya?" Blitz smugly shrugged.
While Jack and Blitz had another one of their little debates, Moxxie walked over to the other side of the room to investigate the bodies. This was some impressive murder. It even looked like the killer had come up from below one mattress to fold the whole thing like a sheet, with the sleeper still inside. Whoever this guy was, he was creative, but he was also strong. Moxxie wondered if the guy was still here- was that shadow always by the window?
Moxxie blinked and rubbed at his eyes. The shadow was gone and all that was there was a dirty window pane. "Uh, guys?"
"What I do not understand is your delusion that your sexual exploits somehow makes you the better man."
"It makes me the best man! I screwed half the souls in all of Hell!"
"Evidently not very well if you had to resort to so many partners."
"Hey, I dumped THEM, asshole!"
Moxxie rolled his eyes. No way he was touching that with a ten-foot pole. What he saw outside was probably just a branch or something. Still, he walked closer to the window. He stared out the glass, trying to catch some form of movement. Suddenly, his ears perked to attention. "Did anyone else hear that?"
"Hear what?" his wife tilted her head at him.
"It sounded like…" Moxxie scratched his white hair, the sound at the tip of his tongue. "Like three hissed breathes through the teeth, and then three airy breaths through the mouth."
"Oh, you mean like 'tch tch tch, hah hah hah," Millie breathed out.
"Yeah, like that, only far more sinister," Moxxie mused as he scratched his chin. "What on Earth could be-"
CRASH
A big meaty hand shattered the glass window as it reached through and grabbed Moxxie's neck, effortlessly lifting the imp off the ground and pulling him outside.
"Mox!" Millie's eyes widened to the size of headlights, she immediately bolted out after her husbands' disappearing form, hopping right through the recently broken window.
Jack whirled around just in time to see Millie's pointed tail disappear through the window. "Moxxie, Millie!" his argument with Blitz firmly forgotten, Jack ran as fast as his legs could carry him and leapt straight through the shattered remains of the glass.
He landed firmly on the grass just as Millie's body crashed to the ground right in front of him. He fell to his knees and looked over her. She wasn't severely hurt, just dazed with a small cut trickling blood down her forehead. Still, Millie was a deceptively capable fighter. Who or what could have done this to her?
Jack wouldn't have to wait long for his answer as he raised to head to see a terrifying sight. A massive figure with a size only rivaled by the Scotsman stood before Jack. He was dressed in ratty, filthy clothes that looked like they had been pulled off of a forgotten corpse. What little skin could be seen was gray and rotted. But most striking of all, was the dirty white plastic white mask strapped tight against the… creature's face. It looked as if it was some sort of restraint, like a muzzle holding back a mindless animal. This figure was shaped like a man, but it carried itself like a monster.
And in the grip of this monster was the terrified looking Moxxie. One red hand clawed at the monster's grip, trying to save Mox's windpipe from being crushed. The other hand was shakily holding up a gun, aimed straight at the monster's chest. With a fury of bangs, Moxxie unloaded shot after shot right into the monster's torso. But the monster didn't even flinch.
The monster raised its other hand, and with it a massive machete that was as thick as Jack's head. The blade was dulled with the blood stains of previous victims, poised ready to take Moxxie's head off.
Jack dashed forward in the blink of an eye. He skidded to a stop right in front of the monster before launching upwards in a backflipping kick. His sandal struck the monster's chin straight on, knocking its head back and loosening its grip on Moxxie, allowing Jack to snatch the imp out of the creature's hands.
The creature readjusted its head and looked down at Jack with a dead glare. Jack couldn't even see its eyes past those dark slits in the mask. It raised its machete and swung it at Jack like a falling guillotine.
Jack drew his katana out to deflect. The two blades met in a ringing of metal. Jack's sword shuddered at the impact in a way that traveled all the way down his arm and made his bones rattle. But the monster did not let up as his furiously swing its blade over and over at Jack, the samurai barely raising his sword in time to deflect the mighty blows. There was no technique or refinement to the attacks, just savage fury, and it was somehow enough to force Jack on the defensive.
"Get down!"
Jack instinctively ducked his head as the BANG of Blitz's rifle was heard. The monster's head jerked back as a piece of lead firmly implanted itself in the creature's skull. It tumbled backwards and fell onto the ground.
"You see, Mox?" Blitz's satisfied voice rang out. "That's why you always aim for the head!"
Jack ignored him, placing Moxxie back on his feet. "Are you alright, Moxxie?"
"I'm… fine…" Moxxie rasped out between gasps for breath. "What… about… Millie?"
"She's fine, don't worry," Blitz helped the female imp to her feet. "The bastard only nicked her. She's probably got a concussion, but she can just sleep it off."
"You should never 'sleep off' a concussion," Jack said as he approached. "Are you truly alright, Millie?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Millie groaned out, being supported by Moxxie. "Probably won't be able to walk in a straight line for a bit though. So don't tell the cops if we get pulled over, hehe."
Jack let out a sigh of relief. It was good to see the female imp was well enough to retain her sense of humor, even if Jack didn't understand the joke. What an odd feeling, being relieved over the safety of a demon. He was probably just relieved that his good graces with Prince Stolas weren't jeopardized.
"But damn though," Blitz rested his rifle on his shoulder. "Must've been one tough bastard to knock one of the toughest imps in Wrath. Ah well, a bullet still kills him deader than any other- Holy Christ on a stick!"
Jack suddenly felt short of breath as he heard the fear in Blitz's voice. His instincts screamed at him to move, and he jumped out of the way just as a machete cleaved the air where his head once was. Jack whirled around. The monster was somehow back on his feet, inexplicably sneaking up on Jack without making a sound. Red blood gushed from its head, but it reacted as if it was nothing but a light trickle of rain.
Blitz instantly readied his rifle back into firing position. With a loud BANG and a flash of gunpowder, a second bullet was lodged in the monster's head. The monster's only reaction was a light flinch. It reached out faster than anyone could blink and snatched the gun from Blitz's grasp. With one giant hand, it clenched its fist and the gun crumples like cheap plastic. The weapon fell to the ground it two useless pieces.
"Holy shit…" Blitz gasped out, looking up at the unreactive killer. "... You know I said 'bastard' with the upmost love and respect, right?" The machete swung at him like a sharp bat of death.
Jack leaped right in front of the imps, holding out his sword with both hands firmly grasping it. It batted away the machete in shower of sparks. But blade-turned-shield didn't have time to recover as it had to deflect another strike.
"Go!" Jack stole the briefest of glances behind him towards the imps before trying his hardest to force the undead goliath back.
"Go get 'em, champ! I'm rooting for you!" Blitz flashed a thumbs up while hiding crossed fingers behind his back. He scurried back to his two employees. "Okay, let's hustle people, go go go!"
Moxxie tried his best to stand up straight while supporting the weight of his concussed wife. It was not the easiest feat when your boss is constantly shoving behind you in a pathetic attempt for a getaway.
The imps spent nearly a full minute of this ineffective running away strategy before tripping over all three pairs of feet and falling into the dirt.
"Sir, for future reference," Moxxie groaned from the dirt. "Don't shove us to run when we have a concussion and a bruised windpipe."
"Ah, shove off, Moxxie," Blitz brushed the dirt off his suit far too casually. "We've probably gotten far enough away from that creep by now. That samurai may be a pain in the ass but at least he makes a decent guard dog-"
Jack suddenly crashed into the ground right in front of the boss of I.M.P. looking a tad worse for wear.
Blitz's face only broke into a disappointed sigh as he looked down at Jack. "Can you contribute a single positive thing to my life?"
Jack shook the daze from his head, lifting it up just in time to see the monster lumbering right towards the group. It was not running, it did not even take long strides, yet it seemed to cover an immense amount of distance insanely quickly.
"Run!" Jack sheathed his sword before scooping up the concussed Millie and bolting for the woods, the other imps not far behind him. They hid into the camouflage of trees, but there was no way a group like theirs could easily hide for long. Jack suddenly wished he packed his Shinobi gear.
"Okay, what the hell was that thing?!" Moxxie gasped out while trying to keep pace with the far more athletic Jack and Blitz.
"Uh…:" Blitz tried to pull ahead of everyone to avoid looking anyone in the eye. "That might've been our target."
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah…" Blitz hissed like he had forgotten to change the water cooler filter in the office. "Now that I think about it, all those corpses back kinda looked like our clients."
"They all came to you after being murdered?" Jack found the focus to glare holes in the back of the imps' head as they ran. "And you assumed it was all because of one unfaithful lover?"
"IT'S SUMMER CAMP!"
"Well, great. We know who our target is, we just need to figure out how to kill him before he kills us," Moxxie rolled his eyes. "And since it's apparently immune to bullets, and it knocked out my wife and the one man who can stand up to my wife- have I missed anything about how completely screwed we are?"
"I ain't knocked out," Millie slurred out as she was carried by Jack like a small dog. "Gimme a minute to stop seeing three Moxxies, and I'll show that hockey mask what for."
"God dammit," Blitz hissed. He stole a quick glance back at Jack. "What about you, sensei Buzzkill? Ain't that sword of yours supposed to kill anything?"
"I tried my best, but my strength alone was not enough to pierce its hide." Jack shook his head. "It is… strange. I know I have never faced anything like it, yet battling with this creature felt so… familiar. As if I had fought it many a time in a land that was like a far off dream."
"So cracked out fever dreams are our best plan here?" Blitz scoffed. "Yeah, I think I'm good for calling it quits on this one."
Blitz pulled out his hell phone. "I'm just gonna call Loona and have her portal us the hell out of-"
Blitz suddenly screeched to a halt just as a machete swiped right in front of him, smashing his phone to bits. "HOLY SHIT, HE CAN TELEPORT!"
"People can't just teleport like that, sir. It's more likely that he just went around to cut us off-" Moxxie barely ducked just as the monster shaved a few white hairs off his scalp. "Alright! You can teleport! Jeez!"
Machete and katana met once again as Jack dove in to defend his reluctant companions (unceremoniously and instinctively tossing Millie back to Moxxie so he could have his hands free, only for Moxxie to somehow fumble his own wife and both fell to the dirt.) Jack grit his teeth and tried to force himself onto the offensive, but the creature seemed almost untouchable, as if the laws of the universe bent themselves to preserve the monster.
"God damn," Blitz hissed from his hiding spot behind a tree. "This guy is either a bullshit level of strong or he has really good lawyers somewhere."
"Jack?" Millie dazily spoke up, evidently trying to decide which of the six Jacks she saw were the real one. "How exactly did you beat this guy in the dream?"
"I'm trying-" Jack grunted as he deflected another swipe. He pushed his brains to it absolute limit, furiously beating his brain cells to recall an imaginary key to victory while also staying alive. "I think- I think we need-... a SANDWICH!"
"A sandwich?" Blitz poked his head out. "You are absolutely shitting me right now. This guy's weakness is a god-damn lunchable-"
The monster briefly put his blade away, only to suddenly bear hug a tree and rip it out of the ground! It swung the lumber like an oversized baseball bat, Jack instantly ducked under and the imps were thankfully too short for the attack in the first place. But in a shower of splinters, Blitz's tree hideaway was now a stump hideaway, smoke still wafting off of it.
"Okay, I guess we're having lunch early." Blitz turned to Moxxie. "What have you got Mox?"
"Uh…" the shorter imp dug into his coat. He pulled out a pristine cleanly wrapped sandwich. "I've got a basic ham on rye. Nothing fancy."
"That won't be enough." Jack hopped away from a grab. "We need more!"
"What about you, sir?" Moxxie turned to Blitz.
"Just the usual," Blitz pulled out a greasy, stained, paper bag. "Double-decker peanut butter and sardines."
Moxxie revolted back and gagged from the smell alone.
"Ah wait," Blitz snapped his fingers and pulled the abomination out of its paper prison. He dug into his pocket before pulling out a very unprotected slice of Swiss cheese before slapping it on top of the soggy bread like some unholy garnish. "There! Perfect."
Moxxie felt like throwing up.
"Better!" Jack called out. The monster had pulled out a rusty anchor chain from nowhere and began swinging it at Jack. "Now stack them on top of one another!"
Moxxie looked down at his perfectly good ham on rye, and looked over to Blitz's sandwich which looked ready to start attracting flies any minute. "Do we really have to?"
"Moxxie, stop being such a pussy and mash our bits together!" Blitz snatched Moxxie's would-be lunch out of his hands before mashing it into his own. (Moxxie's sandwich on the bottom, of course.)
Blitz held the sandwich up for the entire world to view the crime against lunch meals everywhere. Oddly enough, Hockey Mask didn't seem all that interested.
"It's not enough!" Jack yelled. He and the beast had somehow locked into a grapple, the samurai miraculously summoning enough strength to break even with the behemoth. "We need one more sandwich!"
"Shit," Blitz cursed. "What have you got, Millie?"
"I packed soup for today," Millie shrugged as she held up a thermos.
"Son of a whore," Blitz rolled his eyes. "Well Jack, it was not nice knowing you but-"
"Moxxie's got an emergency sandwich-making kit." Millie piped up.
Blitz turned to Moxxie. "A what?"
Moxxie crossed his arms and looked away. "You never want to be caught lacking on sustenance."
"But at that point, why not just make a second sandwich?"
"The kit keeps the ingredients fresh!" Moxxie protested. "And it's only for emergencies."
A fire axe suddenly flew in from the battle, it firmly embedded itself into Blitz's stump, inches from the imps head. "I think this qualifies as an emergency, dipshit!"
Moxxie rolled his eyes before once again digging into his coat pocket. This time, he pulled out a stainless steel brief case of some sort before carefully laying it upon the ground. With a hiss of cool air, he unbuckled the locks and carefully opened the container, revealing all the ingredients of a standard BLT- each one in its own little compartment. With delicate hands, he picked up two pieces of white bread before beginning to take out a crisp piece of lettuce.
Blitz crossed his arms. He tapped his foot. He checked his non-existent watch. "Anytime now, Mox."
"You can't rush culinary perfection, sir." Moxxie didn't even look up from his work. "There must be an equal ratio of bacon to lettuce to tomato to optimize perfect flavor. And each must be aligned perfectly so nothing slips out when you bite into it.
"Yo, Ramsay, it's a fucking sandwich."
Jack choked out as his back was slammed into a tree, meaty fingers wrapped around his neck. He strained his neck as he tried to gasp out. "I would appreciate some assistance!"
"Annnd… done!" Moxxie held up his creation, a perfect BLT, which was immediately ruined as Blitz snatched it up before hamfistedly mashing it onto their other abomination.
"Behold!" Blitz held up the three luches that became one, food bits dripping down the sides.. "The PBBL…S… fuck it, I'll think of something later."
Moxxie looked at the bready abomination, then looked at the monster choking out Jack. He looked around the empty forest. "Now what?"
"Like…" a new voice suddenly cracked out from the darkness. "Are you gonna finish that, man?"
The three imps locked up. They stood stock still, slowly turning their heads around.
Behind them was a human, barely into the last years of being a teenager. He was tall and absurdly skinny, standing nearly hunched over in a casual stance. He was dressed in an overly baggy, green, T-shirt, as well as red velvet bell-bottom jeans straight out of the 70s. His most distinctive feature was his mop of shaggy brown hair, crowning his pale face, the chin decorated in light peach fuzz.
Blitz looked at the stranger. He looked to his employees. He looked at Jack kicking the monster in the hockey mask. He looked down at the sandwich in his hands. He held the sandwich out to the stranger. "... No."
"Like, thanks, man," the shaggy-haired one eagerly took the food Frankenstein into his hands. He licked his lips, eyeing each layer up and down. "Peanut butter and sardines, like, good choice."
"Why thank you," Blitz looked way too proud for being complimented on his food choices by a teenager who was most definitely high on weed.
Jack chose to interrupt this meeting of culinary minds by crashing right at the stranger's feet.
"Like, what's up with him?" The stranger looked down at the defeated samurai. The second he raised his head, his eyes widened into giant saucers, and his shaggy hair stood straight up on end. "Zoinks!"
The monster was upon them, in one mighty slash of its machete, it knocked the sandwich right out of the stranger's hands, sending dozen of ingredients tumbling to the filthy dirt floor of the forest. No five-second-rule could save them now.
The stranger stood frozen, staring at the pile of ruined foods that were once one. "That… was… MINE!"
The wind shifted, the trees shuddered, and the shaggy-haired stranger erupted in brilliant golden flame.
The sudden explosion of power was enough to lift Jack's body right off the ground and send it hurtling through the air. He crashed right into Blitz just as all three imps were also launched away by the bursting fury.
They all crashed into a nearby boulder, sliding down into helpless position as they were forced to view this demonstration of awesome power.
The stranger's eyes were glowing with a golden fury. His hair danced and flowed in a wind that could not be felt. His posture straightened into one of strength and determination. And he seemed to be actually floating above the very ground.
As for the monster, it's body language for the first time displayed something other than sullen bloodlust. It backed away, shrinking in on itself. It was afraid.
"YYAAAAARGH!"
Screaming with the fury of a thousand voices, the stranger charged straight at the monster. He raised his fist triumphantly before slamming it right into the monster's head.
What followed was a beat down so awesome yet so horrific, it would be foolish to try and describe it with mere words. All the while, Jack and the imps sat there horrified as they watched the carnage unfold.
"Damn it," Loona hissed as she scratched her head. Did she have fleas or something? There was an itch just behind her left ear that, for the life of her, she just couldn't scratch. Too little and she felt basically nothing, too much, and she felt like her claws were going to break the skin. And it would still NOT. STOP. ITCHING.
She sighed as she rested her chin on her hands. Maybe she could ask Jack to- NOPE. No! Don't even finish that thought young lady! You are not letting that creep get that close again. He would probably get way too much enjoyment out of it.
Her ears twitched as she heard the familiar vibration of her phone. Ah, that must be Jack now. And Blitz and the others too, she guessed. She picked up the grimoire and opened up the usual portal.
Oddly enough, it was not the usual rabble-rousing and sounds of good cheer and victory that greeted her ears. It was instead dead silent as Jack and the I.M.P. employees slowly walked out of the portal one after another. Each one held a vacant stare.
Loona raised an eyebrow. "What happened to you guys?"
"Don't." Blitz dragged a hand down his face. "Just don't even, Loona. We just witnessed something too stupid for words."
Wow. He didn't even call her 'Loony Woony.' Why the hell did that make her feel weird. "Even by your standards?"
"ESPECIALLY by our standards," Blitz growled. "There's not enough alcohol in Hell."
"It was…" Jack tried his best to add to the conversation. But it seemed words failed him spectacularly. "Certainly something."
And with that, Jack and the imps separated and spread out through the room. They didn't even have enough energy to leave the building as they all just sat in different corners of the office, giving dead stares into nothing.
Loona scratched her ear. Huh. Maybe since everyone was so out of it, it wouldn't count if she asked Jack to- NO!
I have not seen a single Friday the 13th movie. But even then I doubt that Jason could stand an actual chance against someone like Jack. But if the Ultra Instinct Shaggy didn't clue you in, I wasn't exactly taking this chapter the most seriously. That's kind of half the point of these shorts. I thought all the Multiverus references were a bit much, but when the ending popped into my head, I laughed too hard for it to ever leave.
Anyway, hoped you enjoyed this little Halloween special. I had lots of fun writing it. And as usual, it went on far longer than I planned. Bad gamer, the point of these chapters is to be short!
Be sure to leave more comments of potential other chapters, I love them all, and I've actually got plans for some of them!
Thanks for reading!