How to explain it... How... To.. Explain it...

Maybe I should reveal to her everything, from the identity of the thief to the way we saved her... Maybe without all the details. And what about revealing that Chris helped me, I don't thing Chris would want that. And for that matter, what about revealing Darkness' involvement in the last mission...

I glanced at Darkness... One of my eyebrows went up as I noticed that some of the ropes holding her were digging into her chest... Gulp... Did I accidentally made it a bondage?

"Kazuma, what are you-". Shit, I think Megumin noticed too.

Everyone followed her sight, even Darkness, who seemed unaware of her own situation.

"K-k-kazuma... Ahhh... Aaaahhhh... Ahhhhhh... You... You monster...". Darkness suddenly looked shocked, I think she just remembered that Iris was among us. "Priness... P-p-please don't... Loook... Ahhhh...". Darkness shook her binding with a brutal force, slightly moving the entire cross. "Don't look... At me... In such state... Ahhhhh...".

"Ehhh".

"AAAAAaaaaahhhhh"

BAAAAM!

Darkness managed to have the cross fall, crushing her between the cross and the floor.

Clap, clap, clap, clap.

Everyone turned towards me, the source of the clapping.

"Splendid... Marvellous!... Glorious!... Truly no one could have performed a bondage landing with so much dignity other that you and only you, Miss Lalatina!"

Pffff. Iris barely held her laughter.

"Ka...". Crack crack. "Zu...". The bindings were cracking one by one. "Maaaaaaaaaaaa...". All the remaining bindings cracked at the same time, Darkness was going berzerk.

"Iris, your big brother needs you to help him".

Iris nodded seriously, as if it was a mission on which my life depended on... Which, now that I think about it, isn't too far from the truth.

"Miss Lalatina... Let's... Let's... Leeeeet's...". Oh no, she has no clue of what to say. "Shopping!... Yeah, let's go shopping!"

Darkness rushed towards us, she was still in berserk mode. I'm dead, she isn't reacting to Iris. I instinctively closed my eyes while getting in a defensive posture.

Wham!

I opened my eyes and saw Darkness gabbing both of Iris' hands with both of hers.

"Gladly!". Success!

Knock knock.

"Just a moment, I'll go see who that is". Phew, hopefully no one comes back to that question.

I reached the door and saw the dustiness servant.

"Good morning, my lord. This is an urgent matter, so could I speak to Miss Lalatina?".

"Do you mean, demonic kni- gggggguuuuhhhgghhhh"

"What news do you bring today".

"De-gggguuhhhggghhh-Ja-ggghhggghg-Vu-gggghhhggghhh".

"Miss Lalatina, it is a horrible news. After the strange attack on the royal family, everyone is in panic because Princess Iris got kidnapped".

"N-n-no worries, we'll go save her!". Ehhh? What is Darkness doing?. Darkness turned toward me. "Isn't that right, Kazuma?".

"Y-ggghhhugggh-yes".

"I'm glad to hear that". Then he promptly left.

"What are we going to do Kazuma?". Oh Darkness, as if I knew.

"Yeah, what are we going to do?". Darkness and I slowly turned our head and saw Iris, who had quietly moved behind us.

"Iris, I know you're mad, but what else could I have done?" Iris was pacing around my room, while me and Darkness sat on my bed.

"I can't believe you Kazuma...". Yeah, I can bet on that. "And even you, Miss Lalatina...". I looked at Darkness, who was fidgeting out of embarrassment.

"I... I...". Iris stopped and looked extremely furious.

"Why did you left me out? I wanna join too...". She's mad about that!

"Princess, please no...". Darkness jumped out of the bed, and started pacing and talking kinda to herself while she was finding all the reasons possible to discourage Iris. Buuuuut...

"Princ-". Darkness had just realized that I had already started to explain the ins and outs of thieving, as well as my experience as the renown thief. "Please nooooooooo".

"Miss Lalatina... I have always been stopped from learning what happened outside the palace walls... So while I'm here, I want to learn as much as I can, so please, let me learn". Iris' intentions were astonishingly pure.

"Y-yes princess, even if it is against my best judgment... I understand...". Darkness glanced at me. "I have to recognize that as a noble, I felt sheltered too which led me to seek adventure... And I was lucky to find...". Darkness stopped for a few seconds, clearly recalling many memories."Sniff... Sniff... Such a great group of people". For a moment, my heart stopped, seeing such a heart felt moment from this depraved knight.

Iris instinctively moved towards Darkness, stood next to her on the tip of her toes, and patted Darkness' head."There, there, Miss Lalatina".

"So, what now?" Now that Darkness had calmed down, she continued the discussion.

"We have to make it look like we saved Iris from the kidnappers...". My first idea had Darkness and Iris look very uncertain. "Or that we reveal that we were the ones who requested the rescue mission to the group of thieves...". This time both seemed to think that it would be hardly believable. "Or, we describe a deal made with the thieves, for them to give us Iris". Both of them looked at each other.

"Yeah, I think that last one makes the most sense". Darkness liked it.

"Not only that, I think it is the last one also reduces the chances of people thinking that the thief and the demon lord are the same". Iris was making an even more compelling argument for it.

"Then we agree". Darkness and Iris nodded.

"So that's the plan". I had finished explaining the situation to Megumin and Aqua, which were sitting on the couch in the living room. Well, kinda explained, without revealing the fact that Chris, Darkness and I were the thieves, by telling them that we made it look like we were the renown thieves, to have someone to blame.

"I see...". Phew, Megumin seemed convinced. "No wonder it was so different...". Ehhh? "That thief was amazing and fought in such cool ways, while you simply wrecked the place". I guess that's true... Phew. Lucky me.

"Yeah, whatever". Why do I even bother with explaining things to Aqua.

"So cool, big brother!". Iris loved the stories I was telling her. But this was not the only reason we were talking so much, it had been three days since the kidnapping, so for the plan to work, she had to stay inside the house, out of the view of everyone else.

"Yeah, those were some crazy moments". Iris nodded in reply.

"I can't wait to go around the town, tomorrow, after we finally announce the next phase of the plan". Iris was giddy, which looked very cute.

Knock knock.

"Let me go open the door, I bet Aqua forgot her key again".

I went for the door to open it.

"Good day, my lord".

"Vanir? What are you doing here?" He smirked.

"First...". He simply went through the door, looked into the direction of the couch where Iris was siting and curiously looking into his direction.

"Princess, let me present myself, I'm demon serving our astutely perverted demon lord right here". You little...

"Hahaha... You're incredible big brother... To think you even have even demons at your service... I'm pleased to meet you, sir Vanir".

"Big? Brother?... I didn't even believe my skills when I saw that in your mind, my lord".

"Shut it... Anyways, Is that the only reason for your presence?"

"Not at all... Muahahahahahahahahahaha... The time has come... The time for madness, depravity, chaos, hysteria, corruption, insanity, rage, delirium, wickedness, sin, viciousness, immorality, degenera-"

"Wow, wow, wooooow, what are you talking about?". I glanced at Iris, who was shocked from so many words whose meanings she knew but never got to experience or observe in real life. She was completely overjoyed that there could be a moment during which she may learn of so many new things that would have been unthinkable had she stayed at the palace.

"What else... It is time for the FESTIVAL!".

"What? Now? Why?"

"Not only all the materiel is ready and the activities are planned, but my senses are telling me that should should announce it tomorrow, along you other announcement, so that the festival takes place in one week from tomorrow".

"Are you certain?"

"Fully, my lord".

"To all the citizens of Axel, if you're available, please go to the town plaza at noon for some very important announcements from our demon lord. Thank you".

"Thank you all for coming today". The entire plaza went silent. There were so many more people that what I remembered this town having. Not only that, there weren't only humans, it was clear that many more types of living beings had joined the town.

"I have two announcements to make". Everyone was attentive. Was it because they never expected me to give some important news? I mean, after all, this is the first time I speak in front of the entire town of Axel, since I became the new demon lord.

"Firstly, many of you heard of the kidnapping of the princess, which took place a few days ago...". Many among the crowd nodded in confirmation. "Not only she has a good reputation among the people but she also is a personal friend of ours, hence we did what we could and managed to negotiate her freedom from that renown group of thieves...". A mix of shock and surprise spread through the crowd. "And here she is". I waved to Iris to come on the stage.

"Thank you all, I hope that you'll all welcome me to your beautiful town". Then she bowed elegantly.

Cheers erupted in the crowd.

"Our lord is amazing!". Wow, I love those cheers.

"The demon lord is incredible!". Stop it, I'll blush.

"Amazing that he dealt with those amazing thieves". Heh, if only they knew.

"How did he even manage". Heh, if only they knew.

"Did he steal their underwear?". Heh, if only... Wait what?

"I bet he cursed their underwear instead... I pity the thieves". Hey hey hey!

"Calm down everyone, I simply made a deal with them". Everyone looked surprised and suspicious. These weirdos clearly expected me to do something more demonic.

"Bullshit!"

"Are you already lying to us?"

"Then what was it?"

"Yeah, what was it?"

Damn it, I didn't even think of an excuse. Calm down, don't panic.

"It was something those thieves knew they couldn't get their hands on...". The crowd gulped. "Something they had desired for a while and never achieved to obtain...". The crown gulped again. "Some exclusive and freshly worn underwear from Darkness". The entire crowd, without an exception turned towards Darkness, who was near the stage. I also glanced at her and she had turned red while looking down, completely and utterly embarrassed. I bet it is because her thoughts are running wild.

"Hell yeah, that's our demon lord!"

"Now that's a devoted panty lord". Nope, don't call me that.

"To think he would sacrifice the dignity of his own generals". Dignity? What dignity?

"Will Wiz' panties be needed for the next negotiations?". Not a bad idea.

"Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!". The crowd cheered me... Mission accomplished. So I looked at Megumin and Aqua. Both were looking at me like if they had just seen the trashiest trash in trash existence, even though they knew I was making it up... Wait, they don't... Fuuuuuuu... Then I glanced at Iris, who was smiling gently but clearly hiding a mixed bag of emotions.

"A-a-anyways, as for the second announcement...". Everyone went quiet again. "In one week, we'll have a major festival...". Everyone was shocked, again, especially Megumin, Aqua and Darkness, whom I forgot to warn. Oups. "We'll celebrate this unique city, and I want it to be so loud and outrageous, that even the gods will take notice!". It took a few seconds for everyone to understand what I had just said.

"Woooohooooo". Everyone cheered.

"Time to party!". Hell yeah.

"Ladies, get those panties ready!". Mmmmh.

"I bet it will be the most degenerate event in history". I hope so.

"An depraved and immoral festival? Talk about a welcome party for the princess!". Nope nope nope. Please Iris, don't believe them, you're the only one who knows the truth!

"Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma!"

Well, this went better than expected.

"Kazutrash, Kazutrash, Kazutrash". My party's cheers could be heard too.

Sigh. Exactly as expected.